06x05 - Saved by the Belle

[bunniefuu]

[♪]

[SNORING]

[YAWNS]

[RUMBLING]

[MAKES CLICKING NOISE]

Hey, Joe.

Oh, hello, Mike.
Has the amm*nit*on arrived?

Yeah. It's safely stored
in the hills.

Are you ready to lead us
against President Robey?

Sure, I can close up
the hotel anytime now.

The only guests left
are three American salesmen.

I'm gonna ask them
to pay up and get out.

[SNORING]

Hey, here's a couple
of live wire prospects.

This one won't be interested.
I think he's dead.

Get these things unpacked.

Look, you guys unpack 'em,

I'll put the high pressure
on him.

Pardon me, but we represent
the King Winter

Outfitting Company
of Ticonderoga.

Manufacturers
of imported wearing apparel.

And just to prove
our clothes are fresh,

you can still smell the ocean.

Believe it or not.
What do you mean?

I got an idea.

Nyuck, nyuck.
Well, it better be a good one.

Now, pal, we got a lot of stuff
here that nobody's seen yet.

Now, here's something
very chic in a kimono.

Now, here's a little article
you can't do without

in this part of the country.
What is that?

Watch.

Ah-ah-ah.

So what? My latest invention--

A shock absorber
for earthquakes.

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

The trade in value
on this is twice as much--

Listen, that guy ain't
gonna buy anything.

What are we gonna do?

The boss don't send us dough,
we'll be stranded.

What's that? I, um--

I was just tellin' my pal here,

this is lovely country
and I'm glad we landed.

How are you, Mr. Singapore?

Look, the cold weather's
setting in

and I've decided to close
the hotel for the winter.

Your bill.

Hey, come here, you.

Who had that last beer?

Not me, I had that one
with all the foam.

Well, I had this one.

I had that one.

[ARGUING INDISTINCTLY]

Now, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

Hey, will you please
pay that bill and get out?

Well, I'll tell ya--

You see, we were expecting a
cablegram from the front office.

Oh, I forgot. Your message
came this morning.

Oh, thanks.

Heh, I've been waitin' for it.

So they sent you the money, eh?

Well, not exactly,
you see, this wire's--

[MACHINE g*n FIRE]

Hey, what was that? What, that?

They're executing some guy
that didn't pay his debts.

It's the law in this country.
Well, he deserves it.

That last round reminded me,
I've got money in my dresser.

What do you say, we go get it?

All of us. Okay.

Come on. Come on.

The dough is in the top drawer
of the dresser

in the jewel box.
You wait here, I'll get it.

I'll help him. I'll help him.

Oh, no, you don't.

You wait here,
I'll go in and get it.

What kind of fool
do you take me for?

Why, is there more
than one kind?

Superstitious, eh?

He don't know what's happening.

[POUNDING]

Open this door!

[CHATTERING]

Thank you, thank you.

Another satisfied customer.

Right this way, folks.

Come this way, folks.
Here we are.

Hey, you.

Have you got
a peddler's license?

Peddler's license?
Certainly not.

We're salesmen-- Super salesmen.

Oh, salesmen, eh?

How do I know you're not spies?

BIRD: Spies?

[LAUGHS]

Excuse me, general.

Hey, wait a minute. Don't you
harm a feather in his bed--

Uh, I mean, head.

We're not spies, don't be silly.

We're selling
earthquake shock absorbers.

And doin' rather well too.

Look.

You'll have to come with me for
questioning to General Casino.

But we don't play casino.
How about a little rummy?

[CHATTERING]

Hey, listen-- Hey, keep an eye
on those samples, will ya?

Whoo-whoo-whoo.

Ooh.

Spies, eh?

ALL: Oh, no-- Quiet!

But, general,

the fat one does not
look like a spy.

He looks very innocent.

Oh, I don't know,
I've been around.

Oh, ooh.

Do you really think
they're innocent?

I am sure, my general.

Well, you may go free,
gentleman.

Oh, thanks, general. Thanks.

Hey, I told you he'd
bring us luck.

BIRD: Why don't you
search them, general?

Wait.

That's a good idea. Search them.

Don't forget,
anything you find is - .

Oh.

Here's a message, general.

CASINO: "No passage money

until you get rid
of present wardrobe."

So get rid
of President Ward Robey, eh?

So then you are spies.

Throw 'em in the dungeon

and sh**t them at sunrise.
Wait a minute, now.

Hey, listen,
get him an interpreter.

That buzzard did
bring us luck, eh?

Hey, come on, will ya?
Hey, guys, you got a shoehorn?

Ow, ow.

This is all your fault.

Fine last supper.

This is the hardest bread
I ever saw.

Listen. [KNOCKS]

Come in.

Hey, muttonhead,
what are you doin'?

I'm tryin' to
make the alarm work.

What for?
We're gonna be shot at sunrise

and I wanna make sure
we don't oversleep.

Oh. [ALARM RINGS]

MOE: It's working
now, all right.

Hey.

Hey. Psst.

Hey, it's Rita.

Shh. Oh, boy, Rita.

Shh. Shh. Shh.

I have brought you
something good to eat.

Oh, food.

What is it, Rita? Pie.

Oh, pie. My favorite.

Bread. Bread.

Chicken. Oh, stuffed chicken.

Whoo-whoo-whoo.

And soup.

Oh, sweetheart,
you're wonderful.

Oh. Ooh.

Oh, boy, soup.

Soup, we ain't
got time for that.

We want to get
to the solid food.

Let's give it to the guard.
He's a nice guy.

That's a good idea.
You've almost got a brain.

CURLY: Oh, thank you. Heh-heh.

Hey, you like soup?

No. No like soap.

I didn't say soap,
you lug. Soup. Soup.

Soup? Oh, sure.

Well, take it. Thank you.

Ignoramus.

Let me at that food.

Hey, where's your manners?

[CRUNCHING]

[GASPS]

[WHIMPERS]

A note.

"This will help you to escape.

"Meet me behind the jail.

I have work
for you to do. Rita."

Come on,
bring the saws. Come on.

[CLANKING]

Hey, shh.

Quiet. You want
the guard to hear you?

[SLURPS] Listen.

[SLURPS]

That gives me an idea.

Give me a blade.

Ready?

[SLURPS]

[SLURPS]

[SLURPS]

[SLURPS]

[RUMBLING]

Boy, that was some shake.
The biggest one yet.

Hey do you fellas feel a draft?

Why, certainly.
It's from that hole over there.

Oh. Come on, get busy.

Boys.

Come on.
Be right with ya, toots.

We'll be finished in a minute.
Don't go away.

Come on, you dummies.

Shh.

The map is in the desk.

Whoo-whoo-whoo. Shh. Come on.

What's the idea?
I just can't stand to have

anybody look over my shoulder.

Oh.

Look.

Is this it?

Ah, yes.

This is the map
of President Robey's palace.

You must take this
to our leader,

and he will see
that you are rewarded.

Good, now we can
get the money and go home.

I ain't so sure
I want to go home now.

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

Yow.

Quiet, you dumbbell.

Where does your leader live?

His camp is in the hills.

What are we waitin' for?
Come on.

[BARKS LIKE DOG]

[RUMBLING]

The map, the map--
I lost the map.

It's under the couch.

I found it.

Come on, let's go.

Hurry. Hurry, boys.

Whoo-whoo-whoo. Hurry, now.

Hurry.

[WIND HOWLING]

Here's a car. Get in.

With any luck we ought to
be there in an hour.

The sun will be up
in a few minutes

and we can get our bearings.

Gee, the sun rises quick
in this part of the country.

Say, seems like we passed
this spot some time ago.

Yeah, I can tell by the windows
and the building.

Hm.

Hey, fellas, look.

We've been robbed.

Just our luck.

There's a horse,
we can use him. Come on.

I knew this car
ran kind of smooth.

Hurry up. Get goin', boys.

Come on, we gotta
get on on this side.

Hey, fellas, look.
A four-legged V .

Never mind that. Come on, mount.

Come on, let's go.

[♪]

Take us to your chief quick.

We've got a message
from Señorita Rita.

And that ain't
double talk either.

Right. Come on. STOOGES: Right.

I can't understand the delay.

We can't attack
without that map.

Messengers from Rita.

Well, bring 'em in. All right.

Come on.

Now, my friend,
we'll have some action.

[CHUCKLES]

STOOGES: Nyah-ah.

You.

Take 'em out and have 'em shot.

Now, wait a minute, Joe.

We got a message here from Rita.

Ah, the map. Well,
that's different.

Come, my friends.
Eat, drink, and be merry.

Whoo-whoo-whoo. Where's Mary?

Sit down.

At last, success is ours.

Idiots.

Blunderers.

Take a look at that.

Take them out and have 'em shot.

Oh, no, please. We can explain.

Wait.

The boys made a mistake.
I have the real map.

Rita, that's fine.

It's a good thing
I found the right map.

Won't you sit down
and pick a bone with us?

[CHUCKLES] [HAWS]

Oh.

Say, what's the idea?

I bet he wouldn't do that.

Would you? Sure.

Oh. He did.

[HONKS[

[WHIMPERS]

That's it, all right.

Rita, you're wonderful,

but you guys die at sunrise.

Oh, but you cannot
sh**t my friends.

They did their best.

You should reward them.

All right. I'll give them
commissions in the army.

Commissions? Not me.

Straight salary or nothin'.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

You know I'm temperamental.

Yeah, percent temper,
percent mental.

And how. Huh?

Here you are, gentlemen.

Take these warrants
to General LaGrande.

He'll take care of you
in a large manner.

Oh, thanks. Show them the way.

I'm gonna to make
you a general. Hah-hah-hah.

I always wanted to
be in the army,

it's such steady work.

Relax.
Hold him, Larry. Hold him.

Oh.

Get goin'. [WHIMPERS]

General, our commissions.

Yeah, we signed contracts
with six-months options.

Very well, gentlemen,
we will take care this at once.

Follow me.

Allons.

STOOGES: Hello. Oh, hello.

I hope they give me
a double-breasted suit,

I'd look much thinner. Come on.

Hm. Woodpeckers.

Now, gentlemen.

Stand against the wall,
if you please.

I wonder what's the big idea?

Maybe they're gonna
pin a medal on us.

I know, maybe they're gonna take

our picture for identification.

Nyuck, nyuck.

I gonna send one
home to Elaine. Hah-hah.

Attention.

Some class. They're gonna
fire a salute in our honor.

That's swell.
Say, we want g*ns.

Three will be
sufficient, gentlemen.

What does he mean?

My friends, have you said
your prayers?

Yeah, last night I-- Good.

Ready.

[ALL COCK g*ns]

Aim.

[ALL WHIMPERING]

[RUMBLING]

Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo.

[g*nf*re]

Whoo.

Look.

They've stolen our amm*nit*on.

Hurry up,
they're sh**t' at us.

Give it more gas.

I've got my foot down
on the floorboard now.

Are you enjoying
the ride, honey?

[CHUCKLES]

Got a match?

Here. Oh, thanks.

Don't throw that match out here,

you're liable to
start a forest fire.

Hm. Pineapple.

Oh! Ooh!

It must be green.

Ah.

Could this be Fourth of July?

[g*nf*re] LARRY: Come on,

they're still sh**t' at us.

I'm doing the best I can here.

Maybe this one is ripe.

Hey, what have you got there?

A pineapple, want one?

Pineapple?
That's a hand grenade.

Get rid of it. [YELLS]

Why don't you be more careful?

Hey, what are you smoking,
an inner tube?

What is that smell around here?

Hey, fellas, look.

Dynamite. Ah.

Stop the truck, stop the truck.

Alphonso, cover your ears.

Look out.

Oh.

Hey, come on.

Let's go.

[♪]