For once I believe you
because it's just rotten enough.
We're both rotten.
Only you're a little more rotten.
You got me to take care of your husband for you.
Then you'd get Zachetti to take care of Lola,
maybe take care of me too, huh?
Then somebody else would have come along
to take care of Zachetti for you.
That's the way you operate, isn't it, baby?
Suppose it is?
Is what you've got cooked up for tonight any better?
I don't like that music anymore.
Mind if I close the window?
You can do better than that, can't you, baby?
Better try it again.
Maybe if I came a little closer.
How's this? Think you can do it now?
Why didn't you sh**t again, baby?
Don't tell me
it's because you've been in love with me all this time.
No, I never loved you, Walter. Not you or anybody else.
I'm rotten to the heart. I used you just as you said.
That's all you ever meant to me...
until a minute ago.
What the f*ck are you doing?
When I couldn't fire that second sh*t.
Do you know what time it is?
Listen up.
At 2200,
Wetsuit's down the hole when the snake hits the carpet.
Security lifts the key.
I terminate the torpedoes.
Charm the snake into the stall.
Bait and switch.
At 2220, Wetsuit turns out the lights.
Glasses on. I bag the snake.
Key in the bag. Bag to the boat.
No radio unless absolutely necessary.
Code red, five minutes to blackout.
Drop everything. Walk away.
If the cops catch you, tell them the truth.
You know no one.
Got it?
Got it?
You have your passport?
The plane leaves tomorrow at 0700.
And remember, no names and no g*ns.
Are you high?
Then stop dreaming, bitch.
This isn't a game tonight. People can die.
Now get moving.
You forget something?
Good evening. Thank you very much.
Oh, it's a picture of you?
Okay.
Let's go.
I just got to go to the bathroom.
You know how it is for girls.
You come back? One minute. I just got to go.
With an ass like that, I don't think you need makeup.
Mademoiselle Veronica?
Okay, baby. Baby, wake up.
We got to go.
No. No.
Time to go.
Mademoiselle Veronica?
The key's in the bag.
Get moving!
Move!
You better get out of here. Go!
assh*le! You said, no f*cking g*ns!
Where's my f*cking passport?
You better k*ll me now, bitch.
Oh, shut the f*ck up!
Understand? Dead!
Merde.
Racine...
Yeah.
No, you don't understand. I need a passport yesterday.
Did you get it?
Yeah. Here.
Wait!
Did you hear that? What is that?
Hey! What the f*ck are you doing?
Excuse me, madame, but I believe this is a free country.
I'm entitled to make any picture
of anything and anyone I want from my balcony.
Go f*ck yourself!
Go to church. Try to save your soul. Got you!
Yes!
Lily!
Lily!
Lily!
- Lily! - Lily!
Lily! Lily!
Hotel Sheraton.
Lily!
Maybe I should hire you.
I got you, f*cking bitch! Come on!
Before I snap your double-crossing neck...
just tell me one thing:
Where are the diamonds?
Payback time, bitch!
Lily!
Lily! Lily!
Oh, Lily!
Lily!
Lily!
Lily!
Mon dieu. Lily.
Holy sh*t!
Oh, my God!
Yup.
Yeesh.
Hee-hee-hee!
Merci.
Excuse moi.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
You were sleeping.
Are you okay?
I didn't mean to frighten you, I'm sorry. Are you okay?
I'm sorry.
Vous parlez français? Oui.
I'm sorry.
Yes. Yeah.
California.
I mean, I grew up in California, but I live in Washington now.
And what do you do, in life?
In life? Oui.
Well, I started in software, uh, ordinateur
and, uh, made some money
and found out that I was interested in other things.
Like what things?
Well, like the whole world.
I went back to school in Washington.
I got a degree in foreign relations,
I taught for a little while.
And then got a posting at the State Department.
Oh.
America is a country very big, no?
Oh, oh.
Very big. Is this your first trip?
Yes. I begin my new life there.
France is no good for me.
Oh, how can you say that? France is a fabulous country.
Really. It's the queen of Europe to me.
The art, the history,
the sense of language, Stendhal, Racine, Balzac...
I lost my baby there.
I'm sorry, I don't know what to say. That's terrible.
Please forgive me. I didn't know.
It's okay. It's okay.
That is just awful.
Hola? El señor Bardo no esta en la casa en estos momentos.
What are you doing, trying to dodge bill collectors?
Nick, it's Johnny.
I know who you are.
What are you doing? Working.
Something I could sell?
Could be. I just need one more piece.
Another sh*t of that table? What's happened to you?
Are you eating?
Barely.
How'd you like to take a break
from your masterwork and make some real money?
What are you selling?
You know who Bruce Hewitt Watts is?
As strange as it may seem to you, John,
photographers actually read.
You know, books, magazines, even daily newspapers.
All right, smart-ass. Who is he?
New American ambassador?
Bingo.
But guess what, he's got a wife,
but no one seems to have a picture of her.
Maybe she's camera-shy.
No. She's not "camera-shy," she's got a past
and she's not talking about it.
I did some checking and found out she's really French.
Married before, with a kid.
So? I got an ex I don't talk about either.
What's wrong with that?
Nothing, except for you don't
dodge photographers like you've got something to hide.
So you want me to nail her, right?
You are the best.
Come on, you know I don't like to do this.
I feel like sh*t, and besides, I am retired.
On what, IOUs?
I'm not just your agent, Nicholas.
I'm your bank, and you're way past due.
I want you to do yourself a favor and go to work.
I get five figures for this picture.
All right. What's her schedule?
She arrives by private jet tonight.
Hey, I got to go. Bye. Bye. Take that picture.
sh*t.
Wow.
Is this Nicolas Bardo?
Speaking.
You took a picture of Mrs. Watts?
Who wants to know?
Leonard Shiff, head of Watts' security.
I'd like to buy it.
Well, I'm sorry, Mr. Shiff, but it's already been sold.
Unsell it. We'll double whatever you got.
That's very generous, but I...
I don't think you realize who you're dealing with, Mr. Bardo.
We know all about you.
Your overdrawn bank account, your criminal record.
Excuse me, sir...
I suggest you get that picture back, and you bring it to me
at the residence tomorrow morning, 11:00 a.m. sharp.
Don't keep me waiting.
Sir, hold on.
Hello?
Park Bardo in the office until I can get...
Hold on a second.
I don't believe it.
This paparazzi scum is wearing a wire.
Make sure it doesn't get past security.
Hold on.
Ah, bonjour... Yeah, bonjour.
Un minute, pal.
Damn it! Damn it! Oh, sh*t.
Is the bar open?
Yes, of course, sir.
But you can't stay there. Please move your bike.
Can't leave it there.
You can't leave it there.
I know, I know.
Please.
Okay.
Hi. I'm sorry to bother you,
but I rented this room last night
and I think I left my disk here.
Disk?
When I got home,
I checked my laptop, and the backup disk was gone.
And it's the only copy I have. I have been searching
like hell for it.
Then I remember, the only place I could've left it was here.
So do you mind if I come in and just take a look around?
I don't think it's a good idea...
Thank you very much. Thank you. I appreciate it.
Thank you.
Oh, my God, I got so much information on that disk.
You didn't see a disk, right? Actually, it's not a disk.
It's not like a CD or DVD or anything like that.
It's called floppy.
It's like a black thing you introduce in the computer.
Oh, oh, oh. I am remembering now that I put it there.
Because I was working in bed.
I love, I just love to work in bed.
I bet you do too.
Anyway, let me just remember exactly what I did.
I just... I sat over here. Oh, my... Oops!
I sat over here, and I put it on my lap because it's a laptop
and I just plug it over there. And, uh...
Actually, you know what happened?
It happens that I wasn't alone.
I wasn't alone, and...
Oh, my God!
That's not your business.
Well, uh, no, it's not.
It's not, but it is.
Because... excuse me...
Are you all right?
I think I can help you.
I have been working in a hospital for a couple years,
I'm kind of a candy striper myself.
Just sit down over here. Give me your arms.
Put them up like this:
And relax, relax! And breathe. Breathe and relax.
And now listen to me. Listen to me good.
I know because I know. I have been accused
of having an overactive imagination, you know,
but when a classy woman like yourself
checks into an airport hotel in the middle of the morning
with a bunch of b*ll*ts and a g*n
there's only one word that follows.
What word?
Bang!
Now, if a guy walks in, maybe there doesn't have to be a bang.
Maybe there is something to talk about.
Coffee?
Well...
Maybe we should start with some introductions?
I don't care who you are.
And I definitely don't want you to know who I am.
All right, that's fair enough. Let's call me Harry.
And let's start with the shiner. Who is b*ating you up?
Must we talk about this? Yes.
Or we are going to go find a local police station,
and we are going to talk about it there.
My husband. All right. Why?
He has...
difficulty...
to control his temper.
Why does he lose it?
Because I can't live with him here.
Why not? I have a past here.
I was safe in the States,
but here, it only takes one photo.
Like the one today.
I took that picture.
So Harry is Nicolas Bardo.
Why did you follow me? To get more photos?
No, no, I...
I came to tell your security goon, Mr. Shiff,
that I couldn't stop the picture from being published.
I am sorry.
Anyone can see that. You've wasted your time.
This espresso is cold.
Can I get you another cup? Why?
There's nothing more to say.
Can I go now? You have the g*n.
Sex shops are open all day.
I don't think I'll be going to one.
How can I be sure?
Just stay with me.
I need air, but I don't want to talk anymore.
Ladies and gentlemen, your attention please.
We advise you not to leave luggage unattended
and to beware of pickpocket.
Right when I got divorced,
I just decided to leave Spain
and come here to Paris to reinvent myself.
That kind of thing. You know, I mean,
I've got these crazy photographer ideas.
Don't think for a second that I'm a paparazzi. I hate it.
You know, I feel like sh*t, but I have to make some money.
That's the only way.
But there is a square here in Paris
full of coffee shops, beautiful.
This one particular... In the corner, you know?
With these light reflections,
and I saw something that changed my life.
Shh.
It's a great story, Nicolas. This is the best part.
I know, I know. Maybe another time.
It's a great story.
But right now I'm very tired
and I would just like to take a warm bath and relax a little
before I go home, okay?
I understand. Thank you for today.
I'll be waiting out here, just in case you need anything.
You don't trust me, do you? No, no, no.
It's not that. It's just being careful.
Are you all right? No.
I'm out of my medicine.
There was a pharmacy in the airport.
Oh, that's right. My... Excuse moi.
My inhaler is in my car. They could refill it for me there.
That wouldn't be being careful. I...
Nicolas, take my car...
take my purse...
if you're so worried that I go somewhere.
You can call a taxi. I... Come on.
Yes, Nicolas, I could call a taxi...
but I'm not going to do that.
I'm not going to need this in the bath.
Wait, wait. Hold it.
Definitely not going anywhere without them.
Are... Are you flirting with me?
Was I?
Well...
I believe so. Yeah.
I didn't mean to.
It's just that...
all your boyhood stories...
make you so...
damn lovable.
Was that the point?
Bonjour. Bonjour.
Well, it's not mine, but somebody loaned it to me.
Lay down.
Oh! Bonjour. Merci.
This doesn't make much sense. I'm Chief Inspector Serra.
Maybe you can help me out.
I said it already.
But, okay, all right. Mrs. Watts is trying to k*ll herself.
I stopped her. So she set me up for you guys,
to get me out of the way.
That's it. How did you come up with that?
You know, I read a lot of mysteries,
and I just figure out the endings halfway.
I put the clues together, and I know what happens.
What happened, Mr. Bardo
was a car belonging to Ambassador Watts
was found in your possession.
I know that.
On the front seat was a g*n, b*ll*ts,
a blouse and dress.
The only thing missing is the woman.
Where is she?
I don't know. I don't know.
You check out the hotel? Yeah. We checked the room.
We found a naked waitress in a coma.
Did you have anything to do with that?
No.
No, no. I wasn't there. I was buying an inhaler.
Inhaler?
Yes! An inhaler. An inhaler!
All right, Mrs. Watts has asthma.
So I went to a pharmacy to get her prescription refilled.
That's it.
So you figured
by having her car and clothes, she wasn't going anywhere?
That's correct. Yeah.
And you kept the g*n so she wouldn't sh**t herself?
That's right.
Why would she want to do that?
Excuse me?
Why would she want to do that?
Well, her husband was b*ating her up
because she wanted to leave him.
The American ambassador beats his wife?
Yes, that's right. That's right.
Yes, and she has the face to prove it.
You see,
I'm kind of a mystery buff myself.
And you know what kind of mystery this is?
A kidnapping. Oh, come on.
Ambassador's wife held for ransom.
Everything was going fine
until someone reported a stolen car.
You didn't even have time to send the ransom note.
Or did you? No, no.
No, look, what are you talking about?
What are you talking about? No. I am no kidnapper, sir.
Why don't we take a ride down to the residence
and see what the ambassador has to say about that?
I think this is a terrible misunderstanding.
I spoke with Mrs. Watts.
She explained to me how she let Mr. Bardo use her car.
I don't know who reported it stolen, because it wasn't.
My attorney, Mrs. Phillips, has indicated to me
that no crime has been committed.
So I'm a little confused
as to what we're doing here, inspector.
You spoke to your wife yourself?
Yes, I did.
Could I speak with her?
Well, I don't think that's necessary.
This has been an awkward situation
for all of us concerned
and I really... I don't want to prolong it.
Ah.
You know, I'm afraid that Mrs. Phillips
will have to handle your questions from now on.
I have an engagement. Please excuse me.
Inspector Serra...
you've displayed a boorish lack
of sensitivity towards the American ambassador.
We do not need or want your investigative skills employed
to discover why Mrs. Watts
was in a hotel bedroom this morning with Mr. Bardo.
I suggest you return to your duties and drop this matter.
The less said about it, the better.
I'd still like to talk to Mrs. Watts.
And what crime has she committed?
No crime. I just want to see her.
Well, I'm sure we all want to see lots of people.
But, fortunately, in our country and in yours,
they are not compelled to see us.
Good day, inspector.
Sir. Do you know the penalty for having an illegal handgun?
I told you, it's not my g*n.
Okay, then we'll just keep it.
Now, about your motorcycle.
You really want to report it stolen?
Of course I want to report it stolen!
If it wasn't at the hotel, somebody took it.
Why don't you look a little harder?
If it doesn't turn up in a few days, give me a call.
Sir.
You don't believe one goddamned thing I said, right?
Not only don't I believe you, I don't even like you.
Look, Bardo, I know who you are.
Ex-paparazzi smart-ass
who hasn't worked for seven years.
I don't know what you're up to, but it's not smart.
But if you keep it up, you're going to wind up in a cellblock
full of smart guys just like you.
"Mr. Watts, if you ever want to see your wife again,
"bring 10 million dollars in bearer bonds
"to the Passerelle Debilly
"at 2 a.m. this morning.
"If you inform the police
"or arrive with anyone besides yourself...
she will be k*lled."
Oh, sh*t!
Son of a bitch!
Mrs. Watts.
Call me Lily.
Okay, Lily.
What the hell do you think you're doing, Lily?
Are you mad at me?
Mad? Nah.
You are making everybody think I've kidnapped you.
Haven't you?
That is not funny.
No, Nicolas. You're right, it's not funny.
It wasn't funny when you sold my picture
to the papers, either.
And then you showed up to do what?
Explain? Apologize? Lie?
I was afraid for your life.
I felt responsible for it, damn it!
That's so sweet, Nicolas.
I'm a bad girl, Nicolas.
Real bad.
Rotten to the heart.
Last scrape I was in, I f*cked up a lot of people.
Bad people, people like me. People that don't forget.
But I was given a second chance.
So I went back to the States,
where I got everything a bad girl ever wanted.
f*cking Watts.
He was actually kind of a sweet guy
until being the richest man in the world wasn't enough.
He had to have public glory.
So he gave away a ton of money,
bought himself the French ambassadorship,
which, of course, meant the little missis
got dragged out in the Parisian limelight.
Well, I couldn't do that, Nicolas,
because bad people read newspapers too.
Et voilà.
Enter my worst nightmare.
You snap that f*cking picture, sell it to the tabloids
and now it's only a matter of time
before those bad people come running.
So I got the photographer turned blackmailer to kidnap me.
Blackmailer? You offered me money!
And I have never kidnapped anybody, you f*cking bitch!
Then where am I, Nicolas?
Why did you have my car, my clothes, a g*n?
Why was a ransom note e-mailed from your computer?
Everyone knows you did it.
I've got to think. I've got to think.
What? I've got to think. I've...
Don't bother. You don't have to think about anything.
You.
I've got it all thought out for you.
Watts is coming up here at 2 a.m.
with $10 million in a briefcase.
Now, if you start being a little nice to me
I might cut you in on the take.
We are going to the police.
Why would you want to do that?
Oh, yes. Because you are going to tell them
the crazy story you just told me. Come on!
Nicolas. What, do you think I'm stupid?
I'm not going to tell them that story.
I'm going to tell them the kidnapping story,
starring you.
Son of a bitch! Nicolas.
Hold on, hold on.
See, I did have time to go back to that sex shop.
Oh, sh*t.
Come on.
What did you do with that other g*n I gave you, huh?
The cops took it. They took it?
Yes, they did.
I got you another one. Come here.
Be careful with that thing. It's all right.
Nicolas. Isn't sugar better than vinegar?
Come on.
We have a couple hours, baby.
Let's go do something fun, you want to?
Hey. How come you're the only man in this room
that doesn't want to f*ck me?
What? Nicolas, where are you going?
I'm just going to buy some cigarettes.
Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere
while you have my balls in your pocket, Lily.
Pack of cigarettes. Anything American.
Hi.
What's your name?
Hey, Nicolas. Come here.
Meet my friend Napoleon.
Oh, yeah.
I think he's in love.
Listen, can we just go outside for a second?
I need to talk to you.
Nicolas, come on! We're having fun. Just be cool.
I'm going to go outside. No! Nicolas.
We don't want you to wait out in the cold. Do we, Napoleon?
I mean, if we hit it off...
I don't know, I was kind of thinking
of letting you off the hook.
Really? Yeah.
I mean, you don't seem to be enjoying my company much.
Maybe Napoleon and I should sail off into the sunset
and you can go f*ck yourself.
Whoo!
I hope you didn't k*ll him.
He was going to save me from a dip in the Seine.
What?
We had big plans.
I was going to go off the bridge into his boat.
Big plans. Oh, poor Lily, whatever happened to her?
She must have drowned and washed out to sea.
Thanks a lot. You've ruined everything.
f*ck you.
What's the matter, Nicolas?
Don't I make you jealous?
Jealous? Yes. Yes.
I was jealous. I am jealous.
Nicolas, you don't have to lick my ass.
Just f*ck me.
You know what? What?
We can still go away.
Both of us, together.
That's so sweet.
Come here. Come here.
That's so romantic.
But without the money?
Huh?
Are you nuts?
Yeah. That's a choice.
A bad choice.
There are other ones.
What, like doing the right thing?
That's a start.
I tried that once, Nicolas.
And you know what it got me?
Huh?
A lifetime of looking over my shoulder.
You know why no good deed goes unpunished?
Because this world is hell,
and you're nothing but a f*cking patsy.
I made everybody think you kidnapped me
so I could screw my husband out of 10 million bucks.
That's what it's all about.
Me disappearing with 10 million bucks.
So, uh, wipe it off...
and let's go get it.
f*ck you.
You're not going to hurt her, right?
Because I've done exactly what you've told me to do.
I brought the money
and I haven't talked to anyone.
Don't do anything foolish, darling.
I won't.
He just wants me to take the money and bring it back to him.
Okay!
Mr. Watts, it's Nicolas Bardo.
Your wife is staging this kidnapping
to take you for $10 million.
If you don't believe me, I got it right here on tape.
What the f*ck do you think you're doing?
You k*lled him.
I was just being careful.
That f*cking bitch!
You didn't think I'd give you a g*n
loaded with real b*ll*ts, did you?
Baby...
there's one more thing we got to do.
Oh, God! Somebody, help! My husband.
f*cking over everyone again?
Hm?
But not this time.
Where... are... the diamonds?
f*ck you!
Wake up, bitch!
Before you die!
You know what's in this?
Huh?
The b*llet that's going to spread your brains
all over that wall.
You know how I know? Look at me.
I'm your f*cking fairy godmother
and I just dreamt your future.
And mine too.
And all I know is
if there's a snowball's chance in hell
of any of that sh*t happening,
we're going to change it right here.
Now, listen.
I know you got a bad break, but that's history,
and you better f*cking forget it.
Because if you can't,
then you may as well go ahead and pull the trigger.
But if you don't end it here,
and you get your ass on that plane to America,
your future will be sitting right next to you.
His name is Bruce, and he's a really good guy.
And he's going to look into your eyes,
and he's going to fall in love.
And after that, you're on your own.
So, what do you say?
Do I pull the trigger?
Or do you get your ass on that plane
and have a wonderful life?
How do I know that you tell the truth?
How do I know there's a b*llet in the chamber?
Hola? El señor no esta en las... En la casa en estos momentos.
What are you doing, dodging bill collectors?
No intiendo.
Nick, assh*le, it's Johnny.
I know who you are. What are you doing?
I'm just trying to catch a little lightning in a bottle.
You eating? Barely.
How would you like to make some real money?
What are you selling, John?
You know who Bruce Hewitt Watts is?
The new American ambassador? Bingo.
Guess what? He's got this wife and three kids,
but no one seems to have a picture of them.
Well, maybe they're camera-shy.
There are some people that like to keep their home life private.
I know that it's weird, but they do.
What's happened to you?
You find f*cking God or something?
You owe me, pal.
Then I guess I'm going to have to keep on owing you.
That's your half. There it is. A little under 4 million.
Four?
That's the best I could do.
I had to fence them off one at a time.
Sorry that it took so long, but it was the safest way.
Not bad for a night's work, huh?
You call that work?
Bye, Laure. It's best we don't see each other again.
Excuse me, lady. Are you all right?
It was an accident, it was terr...
Sorry.
I'm just a little shook-up.
Actually, you look like you need a drink.
Drink?
Yes, come on.
I'm sorry...
You look so familiar.
Haven't we met before, somewhere?
Only in my dreams.
Femme Fatale (2002)
Moderator: Maskath3