Case of the Lucky Legs, The (1935)

[bunniefuu]

Come on boys, let me through
here. You please, I'm a doctor.

Give me a break here,
let me through, I'm a doctor.

- Ok Doctor, I think we'll need one.
- You know how women are when they lose.

While the votes are
being collected and counted...

I have a few words I'd like to say as
president of the Civic Betterment Board.

Don't bar the view mister.

I, I want to introduce to you a very welcome
visitor to our city Mr. Frank Patton.

The man who as representative of the Leg
Easy Hosiery Co. Made this contest possible.

Speaking then for the Civic Betterment Board
for the girls and I'm sure for all of you...

I want to extend to Mr. Patton our heartfelt
gratitude for the noble work he has done.

Thanks Bradbury.

Ah, we have here the tabulation
of the ballots of these astute judges.

By unanimous vote, the honor of having
the most beautiful legs in Cloverdale...

and the 1,000 dollars prize goes to...

Miss Number 3, the girl with the lucky legs.

Thank you.

- Congratulations Miss Clune.
- Thank you.

- Congratulations.
- Thank you so much.

And now would the lucky little lady
kindly sign the victory certificate?

With pleasure and pardon me for
asking but when do I get the 1,000 dollars?

At my hotel in the morning.

Well you see, I didn't want to bring
that much cash with me here tonight...

After all a 1,000 dollars is a lot
of money and well, it's a bit risky.

Well, in that case you can
expect me early, very early.

Thank you.

Mr. Bradbury, isn't it wonderful?
Are you proud of your employee?

Couldn't have turned out better
if I'd used my influence to fix it.

And if I thought it was necessary I've
been tempted to fix it for you Margie.

Oh, you're a swell boy.

Swell enough that you might
consent sometime to be my boss?

You know you can take over anytime.

- I, I know it, it's sweet but...
- But?

He's over there.

- Studying anatomy Doctor?
- Yes, but entirely without pleasure Eva.

Margie will make you like it.

- We won darling, we won.
- We won?

Yeah, maybe her we means Bradbury and her.

Well, there's one thing my we
will never include, that's you.

Margie, I've just resorted to gatecrashing
hoping to get here in time to finally...

convince you not to stand up there half
dressed to be judged like a prize heifer.

Yeah, she does look
like a heifer, doesn't she?

Thank you, that's very sweet, goodbye.

Darling, we needed that money.

Now with the 1,000 dollars you won't
have to put things off any longer.

You think you made possible our marriage by
winning a leg show? You made it impossible.

- Bob.
- That's final.

Bob?

Everything set?

Ok, down the railroad station and step on it.

Somebody is going to catch up to you and
your racket sometime and this is the time.

Who are you?

You know who I am, I'm Thelma Bell, the girl
who won the leg contest in Waynesville.

The girl you gypped out of the prize money.

The girl who's finally
going to collect right now.

You won't get away with
the cash this time, not from me.

Come on, get away from that...

- Help, police.
- Shut up.

Alright, get in the cab.

I have an appointment
with Mason by letter for 10 o'clock.

If Mr. Mason said he'd meet you at 10 o'clock
in the morning, he was boasting a little.

He made me pay him a 1,000 dollars before
he make any appointment, it's 11 o'clock now.

I've been here since 9 o'clock this morning
and Mr. Mason hasn't come in or even phoned.

Are you sure?

Every minute is important, he ought
to get started on this case immediately.

Well, maybe you'd
rather wait in his private office.

Oh, very well.

Yes, I'm sure you'll
be more comfortable in here.

I'm sure I will, thank you, god...

Oh, being all alone
in the big city frighten you?

I don't happen to be all alone.
There's a body in there on the floor.

I'll have to speak to that janitor about
cleaning up, he's been very careless lately.

Say, is this the office of the eminent
attorney Perry Mason or an insane asylum?

Sometimes I wonder.
Come on in Mr. Bradbury, don't be afraid.

Oh, here.

- That's him.
- That's Perry Mason?

My boss, your lawyer.

- Oh hello Della.
- Hello.

How did you get in this ambulance?

You tell the driver to slow down on
the curves and stop that clanging noise.

Remember anything
about a 10 o'clock appointment...

with a Mr. Bradbury from Cloverdale?

Certainly I remember.

When the give Mr. Bradbury,
he's an hour late already.

He's in.

- I'm out.
- Too late.

Mr. Bradbury Mr. Mason
will see you presently.

Good morning Mr. Bradbury.

I fell asleep over one of my law books.

Worked rather late last
night brushing up on a previous...

decision that may have
some bearing on your case.

Very gratifying to find you prepare yourself
so conscientiously for our interview.

Pardon me, squaw man
while I relieve you of your tepee.

Is that the telephone Della,
or is it my head still clanging?

No, it's not your
head, it's your private phone.

Hello? Oh yes hello Doctor. Yes, he's here.

The doctor says he
has an appointment with you to...

go over the results
of your physical examination.

I don't need to go to a doctor's office this
morning to find out what condition I'm in.

- Feeling splendid, you know Mr. Bradbury.
- The doctor says he'll be right over.

He says it's important that he see
you before he goes on his vacation.

- Probably just wants to tell me goodbye.
- Yes, that's probably what it is.

That sounds rather ominous,
don't you think Dr. Bradbottom?

Bradbury is the name and not doctor.

Just take me the files on Mr.
Bradbury's case, will you please Miss Street?

Oh, of course, I got it out
last night myself to study up.

Yes, I think I'm
familiar with all the details.

Will you excuse me Mr. Bradbury?
I, I'll get a glass of water.

We should all take two gallons of that a day.

- Two gallons of what?
- Water sir, pure spring water.

I'm not surprised Bradbury that...

even a successful,
astute businessman like yourself...

should fall for this racket of Patton's.

Well, we find that a lot
of other astute, successful businessmen...

in other towns fell for it just as hard.

It's a pretty good looking racket and
in fact Patton makes it look perfect.

Oh, do find a place to lie down Mr. Bradbury.

- Lie down?
- Well, sit down.

Anyway, make yourself comfortable.

Patton flashes, but only flashes credentials
from one of the best hosiery firms.

- Gets nearly 10,000 for expenses.
- Eight thousand.

Most of which, since I own the big department
store, came out of my pocket, move over.

Ah, yes, of course.

He uses the publicity angle to get
everything he wants without expense to him.

Gets you to insure
the legs for a million or so.

Gets the commission
of the policy himself and...

runs off with it all.

Yes, but that wasn't all in my letter.

Well, you seem to have guessed a lot of
things we had to pay double to find out.

Oh, I'm pretty good at figuring
out the possibilities of any racket.

Other people's rackets, of course.

And now all I've got to
do is, figure out how to find Patton...

- and how to prosecute him when he's ours.
- No, that isn't all.

Good, I was afraid
it is going to be so simple...

that I wouldn't be able to
swing much more of a fee out of it.

Look at that Mr. Mason.

With pleasure sir.

In fact, for looking at
that, there won't be any fee.

I'm more interested in finding that girl
than in finding Patton and my money.

- I don't blame you, so am I.
- That's the girl that won our contest.

You boys up in Cloverdale
are pretty fair country judges.

- Oh, I beg your pardon Mr. Braddington.
- Bradbury.

She was robbed, tricked by
Patton out of a 1,000 dollars prize.

Well, anyway, nature did alright by her.

As you know, we got an
address on Patton through the bank...

here in the city where he
deposited our Cloverdale checks.

Just a phony mailing
address, I hope you know.

But was enough for the girl, she felt
she'd been cheapened and made ridiculous.

She left that night for the city.

- Poor Margie.
- Poor Margie?

Well, I feel rather responsible
as sponsor of the contest...

- and as her employer and as a...
- And as a?

And as a man in love with the girl.
I was indeed quite anxious to marry her.

Well, when I find her
I'll put in a good word for you.

Exhibit A, torso and legs, very good.

Have you anything else
in the files from the neck up?

Oh, I meant to show you this other picture.

That's the anonymous one she had
to submit first in the contest.

No personal favoritism, you know?

We wanted the contest
to be strictly on the level.

Well, this is something to look for alright.

- Don't worry, we'll find her.
- I must say Mr. Mason, I am worried.

My introduction to your working system
was hardly conducive to encouragement...

on a matter on which I feel so deeply.

Oh, I'm sorry if you found
yourself in a position at all awkward.

I assure you that anybody
in town will recommend...

very highly the results I get with my system.

Your system is rotten Perry,
on the verge of complete collapse.

For a doctor might be permitted
to make such a statement.

You'll be permitted to make such
a statement over my dead body.

That's just the situation I wish
to avoid by bursting in here.

The perfect time
for an analysis of my condition...

when I'm interviewing
a new client Mr. Braddock.

Bradbury.

Mr. Bradbury, this is
my physician, the mortician's friend.

- Pleased to meet you, I'm sure.
- Braddock.

- Bradbury.
- Oh, what's the name?

You're a liver case.

- Bradkins.
- Perry, you've got yourself...

in an almost hopeless condition.

May I come in and say, I told you so?

The data on your I-ray shows the lining
of your stomach is all torn to little pieces.

It won't matter it does show.

- I'll be leaving if you'll pardon me.
- I certainly won't.

You think I want to be left alone
with this raving maniac Mr. Bradley?

Have to make a few final
tests just to cinch your condition.

- The perfect morning to cinch my condition.
- Come over to the windows.

- Say Ah.
- Ah.

- Let me see the Ah.
- Ah.

Hold out your wrists, I'll take your pulse.

Shut up, shut up, shut up. You'll probably
melt the thermometer with that fever.

Shut up, I want to get your real temperature.

Why, your, your hands are cold as ice.

Well, there's something
radically wrong with your circulation.

Pulse fast, probably from high blood
pressure, blood pressure is always high.

Perry Mason, I now pronounce you dead.
The mercury is frozen clear to the bottom.

Do you think I'm a case for Ripley's?

Young lady, will you please take a
few instructions while I dictate them?

I'll be glad to. Come along
Mr. Bradbury, you will enjoy this.

Can you take shorthand Miss Street?
Well then you can do everything, can't you?

I understand Perry, you consider
yourself something of a cook.

Well, from now on you'll
have to give up your fancy cooking.

That means I can devote my
unhindered efforts to see you sir.

In fact, you'll practically
have to give up eating.

Well, it isn't as bad
as I thought, I'm on a liquid diet.

- Strictly liquids.
- Will you join me Doctor?

No beer, no wine, no liquors. Now I'm
going to break your heart, no whiskey.

Are there any other liquids?

- Milk.
- Milk?

You mean, that
unpalatable byproduct of a cow?

Exactly, no excitement
whatever in those stimulants.

Did you get that Miss Street?
No stimulants, no excitement.

- I'll have to get rid of you.
- Thank you, you flatterer.

I was going on a vacation...

but I better stay on the job and
take care of you while you take one.

The rest is absolutely imperative.

I'm so sorry Doctor, I'm afraid I neglected
to introduce my new client Mister...

If you'll allow me to prescribe for you
I suggest you get a different lawyer.

Well, thank you Doctor any bill you
send me for that advice I'll be glad to pay.

I'll keep in touch with you, so you can
get me when the emergency finally arises.

Goodbye Dr. Croaker,
call around again anytime...

but don't expect me to defend you
if they take away your doctor's license.

- Braddock, get some liver pills.
- Right.

Alright Mr. Bradbury, now there's only
one thing I need to get things in action.

A thousand dollars.

Another thousand?
Well, you worse than Patton.

Right, that's why I'm
the only man to beat Patton.

Come in dearest.

Oh, I beg your pardon,
I was expecting my husband.

How do you do?

Well, when he does come
I suppose you'll want this.

Thanks.

I got a job for Spudsy.

After the way Spudsy has found me
even in the most secluded places.

Every time he wanted a loan, I..

I figured that Spudsy was the
best man to find anybody anyplace.

You said it Mr. Mason, many is
the time I've wanted to ditch him.

Hello dearest. Oh Hello boss.

Come on in Spudsy, don't be afraid,
she's been missing badly today.

I'll keep peace in the family by sending
you right out on a hunt for somebody.

Oh, that's swell boss, you haven't
given me that kind of work in a long time.

It's been a long time since
anybody gave you any kind of work.

Oh, now dearest.

Sit down Spudsy,
I've got the dope right here.

You're wrong Mr. Mason,
I've got the dope right here.

- Looking for somebody pal?
- Boss? Say, I'm doing alright.

That isn't our girl, our
girl got legs, prize winning ones.

Oh, what I'm trying to tell you is I just
caught your guy for a five spot, not bad, eh?

Not good, when I'm paying you to find Patton.

That's the guy I'm
talking about, I not only find him...

but I borrowed this five bucks from him.
You might've known you could depend on me.

Did you bother to
discover where he's staying...

and if he continues to stay
there now you've pegged him?

You think I don't mark up the hangout of a
sucker like that so I always have it on me?

There's the address right there.

Number 19852, neck 16 and a half,
sleeve 35, pre-shrunk, very pretty.

Well, it must be on the other tail
on account of I have to write left-handed.

- Sure this Patton is the right guy?
- Sure, is the right guy.

I borrowed a fund from
him, didn't I? He can't be wrong.

- Where is the drugstore?
- You want an aspirin?

No, a telephone.

- There's a drugstore.
- Come on.

Hello yourself.

Why Della, what are you still
at the office for? Locked in?

Why must you always click
the phone in my ear Miss Street?

I've located Patton
and I'm on my way to visit him.

Well, I'll wait around to hear the good news.

Oh, but if I don't bob up within an hour you
better have Patton's address, just a minute.

Spudsy, your shirttail please.
No, I'm not studying haberdashery.

Empire Apartments, suite...

No, I'm not getting
affectionate, suite 502 sweet.

- Thank you Spudsy.
- Oh, no, no.

- I have to go now.
- Oh, Why? Where?

Does it make any difference?

You didn't seem to care what
I did after I went in the contest.

Oh, I think the fact that I really care is...

pretty well proven by
my coming up here to the city.

And you want me to care or you wouldn't
have written me where I could find you.

I'm sorry, but you just got
here at a very unfortunate time Bob.

Well, if unfortunate why can't I help you
or at least be given a chance to try?

I wish you wouldn't ask me anymore questions,
I have an appointment and I'm late right now.

Oh, who with? Patton?
Bradbury? You got to tell me.

- Please, Bob.

Sounds like my horn, it is.
I'll be back in a minute darling.

Here, I'll pay the check.
How much do I owe you?

Sixty cents.

Look, I want to sneak out
the back way, how do I go?

- Right out there.
- Don't tell him which way I went.

Don't worry baby, I never tell.

But I tell you officer,
this is my car, I'm Dr. Doray.

Ok, it's your car, it's your ticket.

Suppose there was a fire, how do you
expect they connect up that fireplug?

Well, I'd explain to
you how but I'm in a hurry.

Well, the jail is calm down
many a guy that's been in a hurry.

- Thank you.
- Oh, you're not going to move the car?

Oh, why should I? I'm going
to pay 5 dollars for parking it here.

Oh, a wise guy. Well, I'll fix that.

Say, where's that young lady
I was sitting up there with?

Oh, she went out back way.

Empire Apartments.

Where have I seen that face before?

- Anything I can do for you sir?
- Eh? No, no, I'm just browsing.

Just, shopping around for a bargain.

What floor? Six.

- How many fingers have you got?
- Five.

That's right.

Hello, anybody here?

Hello hello hello.
Hello hello hello, is Mr. Mason there?

Hello Della, will you please stop screaming?

Have you forgotten the doctor
ordered no excitement for us?

Your Mr. Bradbottom is the one excited.

He just phoned from his hotel to
have you call him immediately.

Having a nice talk with Mr. Patton?

No, the only thing I'm
going to tell you now...

is to follow the instructions
the doctor gave me implicitly.

Why?

Because recently, the death rate
in this city is been increasing.

Goodbye Della.

Was in the apartment
right across from me, 502.

And then I heard something fall.

Like when you tip over a lamp
or when a body hits the floor.

- You looking for somebody mister?
- Oh hello officer. Yes Frank Patton.

I understood this is where he
was supposed to be living, seen him?

Anything very important?

Perry Mason. Well, must've been important
or you wouldn't be messing around with it.

What's up officer, I've been
trying to get in for several minutes.

This lady said
she heard something suspicious.

Well, that's more than I
heard, I couldn't even raise an echo.

- Well, let's go in and have a look.
- I'm afraid you'll find the door locked.

- Oh, you tried it, eh?
- Yes, I tried it.

When did you hear your suspicious sounds?

It all ended with a bang about ten minutes
ago when I went to call the officer.

I see.

Oh, but before that there was a woman
in there laughing and crying hysterical like.

They're always screaming
something about Lucky Legs.

Well goodbye, let me know if you find
anything officer or if you arrest Patton.

I'll be dying to know.

Who is it?

The milkman.

These aren't the legs that won at Cloverdale.

You can't fool me.

These legs were good
enough to win in Waynesville.

Say, whoever you are, you
better beat it before I call a cop.

You won't have to call them.
They'll be here soon enough.

- Where is Margie?
- Margie? She's, she's taking a bath.

You will have to prove that to me.

- But you can't go in there.
- Can go in now, who are you?

Well Margie...

I just wanted the whole truth about you
and nothing but the truth, I'm your attorney.

- My attorney?
- The best, Perry Mason.

I just want to ask you a few questions, you
mind stepping out into the kitchen with me?

- Well, can't we talk in here?
- No, because I haven't had my dinner.

You see, the doctor is got me on a diet so
I have to get my regular food between meals.

- Make yourself at home.
- I don't think you'll have to tell him that.

Is there enough in there for you?

You won't mind answering
a few questions Miss Clune?

See, the first thing I want grade
A milk, I don't really want that.

Everything you need isn't there just ask,
we'll be glad to run out and get it for you.

Fine, splendid hospitality...

here at the new headquarters of the Lucky Leg
Girls Society for the abolition of Patton.

You Margie, went to the Patton address...

the banks gave Mr. Bradbury
and Mr. Bradbury gave to you.

Patton wasn't fool enough
to live at that address but Thelma was.

Living there, I mean.

Patton figured if Margie could
trace him there anybody could.

So he gave up the apartment
and moved you two over here...

figuring he might as
well stall you up together.

- Now don't tell me I'm wrong.
- I wouldn't dare.

And Bradbury hired you to find me?

I'm to build up a case against
Patton that will put him behind bars.

Do you? You think you can?

I have an idea Margie that Patton is
going to be put away for all time.

Sardines and chocolate cake.

The doctor didn't say anything
about them so they ought not to hurt me.

Too bad that refrigerator hasn't got wheels
so you could take it with you when you go.

I never liked ice boxes for companions,
there's no friendly warmth to them.

I, I've just been up to see Patton.

Let's all go in the other room
where we can be more comfortable.

Well girls, where would you say
was the coziest place to sit?

When you found everything else
you ought to be able to find that.

Alright, follow the leader.

Sit down girls.

Only I hope the next time you'll
have the Mediterranean sardines.

Did you, did you get anything out of Patton?

Not, only a knife.

- You mean Patton is dead?
- Marvelous how you guess these things.

We haven't got anything to do
with it, why you come here?

Because you went there by appointment.

Oh, I couldn't get in,
I knocked and-and knocked...

and nobody answered, so I left.

Yes, I saw you leaving but before you
left there a woman in the next apartment...

had sent for an officer because
she'd been annoyed by a woman in...

Patton's place having the bouncing hysterics.

I'm telling you the truth.
I couldn't even get in, it wasn't me.

- Some girl was screaming about Lucky Legs.
- Well, it could have been a lot of girls.

He pulled his double
crossing contest all over.

Oh sure, in Waynesville I got the
most votes and the most gypping.

Yes, it might've been you.
Were you up at Patton's tonight?

No, no and I can prove where I was.
With a boyfriend, you can phone him.

- That's a good idea.
- Prospect 83945.

Prospect 83945.

Hello?

Ok, it's a man.

Yes?

Oh yes, I, I know the person.

Good, we found your phone number on her body.

Right now poor Thelma Bell
is here in the emergency hospital.

She was injured in an auto
accident about an hour ago.

Hey, what kind of a stall is this?

- I was with Thelma Bell an hour ago and I...
- Oh George Sanborne, you dirty chiseler.

Hello? Hello?

Well, anyway...

he knows now that there's
really been an accident.

I suppose you think he's going
to rush over to the emergency hospital.

Yeah, wouldn't surprise me.

His conversation ended with a loud
crash and a woman's ferocious scream.

- A woman's scream? That double-crosser.
- Oh, I doubt that he is.

Anyway, he clears
you temporarily, bur Margie...

Margie was at Patton's apartment.

And when I came in, she was taking a bath.

Well, what's wrong with that?
Don't lawyers take baths?

Very few, I like them,
but the police wouldn't.

They'd say that Margie
was washing off bloodstains.

A very good cake.

- What's your middle name Margie?
- Florence.

Alright.

The police won't be long spotting this place.

Go to the Rex Hotel and register
as Florence Clune of this city.

You, aren't in love with
that Bradbottom Bradbury, are you?

Good.

My phone number is on the card
I gave you, keep in touch with me.

Here's your change madam.

- What will you have?
- Milk.

- Milk? That's a hot one.
- I'll have it cold.

Milk? What am I? Bartender or dairy maker?

- Mason?
- Yes?

- Mr. Bradbury is having his bath.
- It's about time.

Quite an epidemic of bathing in this town.

- Oh, is there sir?
- Yes, sit down, I'll tell you about it.

Oh, no sir,
Mr. Bradbury will be down soon sir.

He wants you to
have a midnight snack with him.

But I am on a diet.

When the doctor put me on
that diet why didn't he prohibit you?

- High ball, c*ck?
- Whatever you're having boss is ok with me.

Ah? Make it two bartender.

Boy, do I need a slug of that
liquid dynamite to pick me up.

Hey, what is this?

Will you gentlemen have plain
or charged water for chasers?

Thank you.

Well, I saw Patton tonight.

Nice guy Patton,
awful big hearted with his money.

Well Mason?

You can read all
about it in the morning papers.

- He's dead.
- What?

Stabbed through the
heart with a surgical knife.

Surgical knife?

- Oh, this is awful.
- Really? Looks marvelous.

Circumstances rather heavily
involve your friend Margie.

Seems very tasty to me.

No matter how deep Margie is
in this, you got to protect her.

I understand exactly how you feel.
I've already taken steps to take care of her.

I don't care what she's done, you save her.

You can have anything
you say everything I've got.

Don't worry about that.

Suppose we start like this...

- Little Margie went to town.
- Yes?

For the purpose of finding Patton.

- Well?
- Now then...

That makes us reasonably sure
that the girl was at Patton's apartment...

either before or after the k*lling.

And so from what I've told you
it ought to look pretty bad for Margie.

Even you can see that.
I mean you being a little prejudiced.

I think I can say without prejudice
that Margie isn't the kind who would.

Well, she might've gone to him
in an effort to make him pay her...

some of the money that
was rightfully hers, but she wouldn't..

Oh, thanks mister, I've been so busy on
this case I ain't had time to buy none.

You say Mr. Mason the m*rder
was committed with a surgical knife?

- Inserted very expertly.
- A doctor.

Doray.

Make it do re mi and I'll solve
the whole case by meself.

That's very unfunny.

Dr. Doray Mr. Mason, is a young man
who's very much in love with our Margie.

My associates in Cloverdale tell me
he's come up to this city after our Margie.

There seem to be a lot of people other than
the police after our Margie, as you call her.

Doray is very anxious to marry Margie...

but I don't think she likes his
possessiveness or his impulsiveness.

Do you think he is possessive enough
and impulsive enough to undertake...

- such a violent vengeance for her?
- He's a very violent chap.

And if he followed Margie to Patton's
apartment and heard the screaming...

Well, there's no one I'd rather
pin this k*lling on than a doctor.

Come on Spudsy, I've got to get some rest.

You know, this strict diet is very weakening.

- Goodnight Mr. Bradbury.
- Good night.

Good night.

Waiter...

- Yes sir, Check sir?
- Menu please, I'd like to order my supper.

Very good sir.

We get a hot lead on the Clune girl from
Cloverdale, we get to her apartment and...

Perry Mason has spirited her away.

He spirits away plenty of girls
who could win beauty contests.

Then a car belonging to Dr. Doris
or Dorey or something from Cloverdale...

is towed into the station
for parking in front of a fireplug.

And while your busy boys
were towing in a parking pickup...

- somebody murders somebody.
- With a surgical knife.

Well, there's a whole
bag of surgical tools in this...

Dr. Dorey's car, this Cloverdale croaker.

Bissy, I wish you'd be
less apoplectic and more specific.

Alright, I'll be specific.
I want a warrant for Perry Mason's arrest.

That's specific but, but silly.
Mason is not crooked, he's just smart.

Smarter than you,
and too often smarter than me.

But I'm not so sure he
wasn't even in the death room.

One of my cops saw him at the door
just before he discovered the body.

Bissy, why do your men always arrive
at the scene of the crime just after Mason?

Well, I suppose it's
because before they decide to...

commit a m*rder, they
hire Perry Mason to defend them.

I've got an option on his services myself.

If any crooked politician
ever tries to impeach me...

I'll be defended in court by Perry Mason.

Well, before that,
you're going to be prosecuting him.

Because for once we got
Perry Mason in a nice hot spot.

Mr. Mason is right in there but you can't...

I know.

I want to see him, he wants
to see me, so that makes it unanimous.

- Yeah, but I don't think...
- I can tell that by looking at you.

Hello boss,
what's the matter? Got a headache?

Yes, I have now, through smoking
flame you got to go where I am.

Oh, yeah? You'll be glad I found you.

- I've got bad news for you.
- You're bad news any time.

I just left your office and apartment.

There's cops waiting for you everywhere.

- Ain't it kind of hot in here?
- No, I hadn't noticed, take your hat off.

Thanks.

- Get anything from the cops?
- Not a cent.

They're burning up
because they can't find you.

Because they can't find
anybody connected with the k*ller.

Boy this is k*lling me, they're sore because
they think you've spirited everybody away.

- You mind if I take my coat off?
- Go right ahead, take your pants off.

Thanks.

Hey.

You guys are going to
catch cold sitting around like that.

But this is health institute calling Mr.
Mason, can't you see it's an emergency?

Oh, don't give me
that, you're not sorry at all.

Boy it's hot in there,
I don't see how you stand it boss.

Just trying to get the office, line is busy.
Probably Della calling a beauty parlor.

- Might help.
- But can't you give me the message?

Because I am
Mr. Mason's very private secretary.

Well, I have a little tip for Mr. Mason.

Strictly confidential.

The gentleman at the switchboard will save me
the trouble of taking that message, won't he?

What did you get?

This was the tip, the Clune
dame just left town confidentially.

Say, we better phone that
into headquarters, don't you think?

Yeah.

Oh no, you mustn't do that you nice policemen
because that message was confidential.

- Get that.
- Yes sir.

Hey, wait a minute, you...

She's disconnected this
connection, I can't hear a thing.

Open that door.

Hello Della, any customers drop in?

Well, there are several
gentlemen here in blue uniforms.

They look awfully funny.
Yes and there's one man in civilian clothes.

He looks funny too.

I guess they just dropped in
on their way home from a masquerade.

Open up the door.

It's Mason, we want words with him.

Some kind lady phoned...

to tell us all confidentially
that Margie Clune is just left town.

Yes, will be fine for you
if they get her for the m*rder...

after everybody knows you've been hiding her.

Yes, very pretty.

Well, don't flirt with those gents
just because they've got uniforms.

Wait till you see the striped outfit
they're tailoring for me right now.

Don't say goodbye like that.

- Come on, open the door.
- Gentlemen gentlemen please.

If this continues, I shall be
forced to send for the police.

- Who was that on the phone?
- Well, the garbage man.

- I told him to send up enough for four.
- What?

Come on, hurry up.

There's probably cops watching
the place, I'll go out the back...

- way and meet you around the corner.
- Wait a minute Thelma.

Running out on me darling? When you knew
I'd be back for more of that marvelous cake?

I was just going home, to Waynesville.

And now you suddenly changed your mind
and you're just going home to your apartment.

- Say, who is this guy?
- That's a question I don't have to ask you.

You got George Sanborne
carved into your forehead.

That's what you get for refusing
to believe me when I told you that...

Thelma was in the emergency hospital.

- Perry Mason, eh?
- That's the guy.

I'm glad I didn't break you two up...

because I wanted to hear Thelma's alibi
so I'm going to duet. Go on, harmonize.

Well, George will tell you, we were
out and around together that night, we...

stopped in a couple of places and
had a few drinks we, George will tell you.

I think you better let George
tell it, you're not doing so well.

But before you tell it Georgie,
remember a man is been m*rder*d.

Listen, I got nothing do with Patton's m*rder
and I don't want to have any part of it.

- Is that so? Anything he says now is a lie.
- Thelma had a date with Patton.

I told you Mr. Mason,
that's a lie to begin with.

Shut up, you went to meet him
and then later called me up, in a jam.

Over the telephone, we fixed up
the alibi that got me get dump.

Wait till you see the bandages they
drape on you when I'm through with you.

- One m*rder isn't enough for you, eh Thelma?
- I didn't m*rder Patton.

I didn't even go near his apartment.

Oh, let me help you.

And when that hanky gets
too wet I've got a dry one here.

Exactly like the one you're using.
One I found by Patton's corpse.

Well, that clears me and I clear out.

Goodbye Georgie, only
next time don't forget to duck.

Now, Thelma, do you want to tell
the truth to me or to the police?

I didn't k*ll him, I didn't k*ll
him, I didn't k*ll him.

You probably find it easier proving
that you should've and that you didn't.

I went up there and told him he'd better...

pay me what he owed
me or I'll make plenty of trouble.

You made trouble enough not only to annoy
Patton but the lady in the next apartment.

He started slapping me around
and I screamed, then he hit me good.

There was a man who came to
the door and he shoved him out.

Then he shoved me around some more
and we kind of wrestled into the bedroom.

And then there was another knocking on the
door and Patton locked me up in the bathroom.

I heard men quarreling, it
sounded like the same man back.

- Man, eh?
- Yes.

I don't suppose you had sense enough to
stop hollering and try to find out what men.

Oh, I just wanted to get out.

And somebody bumped
against the bathroom door.

In any country but this, they've let him in.

I got the bathroom door unlocked
with a nail file and I opened it.

Well? Come on,
out of the bathroom, I'm waiting.

I opened the door and Patton's
body was leaning against it.

He fell in almost on top of me.

- And you carved him as he fell?
- Oh, no. No. I almost fainted.

That must've been
when I dropped my handkerchief.

Well, I'll believe
that if I believe anything.

- You remember Margie?
- Yes, where is she?

Strange, very strange. A woman
called me up and told me that she left town.

Well, she went to the
hotel like you told her.

A telegram came here for
her and I sent it over to her.

- A telegram? How long ago?
- About an hour ago.

The hotel didn't tell me
anything about a telegram.

They said she checked in and checked out.

Well, I found out that...

right after she got the telegram
she left for the Central Airport.

There's only one plane
taken off since then Mr. Mason.

You protect yourself with
a passengers list, of course.

- Yes sir.
- I'm interested in the ladies, as usual.

- There were no lady passengers.
- No lady passengers? Are you sure?

There was a young man
who seemed to be expecting a lady.

He bought two tickets and watched the front
door and he almost missed the plane himself.

- Two tickets for where?
- Summerville, that's the first fuel stop.

- Is there a plane I can charter?
- Sure.

Get it out for me.

Are you the gentleman
who ordered that charter job?

That's right, I want to catch that
passenger plane that just took off.

- Oh, a comet couldn't do that.
- Well, I want to get to Summerville.

Oh, Summerville?
Well, I think this crate ought to make that.

Well, that's encouraging, let's try it.

- The trip was a little rough.
- Yes, I noticed that.

- Well, undo these for me, will you please?
- Oh, sure.

Thank you.

Who got off the last plane
from the south? A matter of life and death.

Only one passenger,
he looked sicker than you do.

Sir, I am on a very dissipating diet.

- What's his name? Where he go?
- His name was Roberts.

I dropped him in a bus
for the Lakeview Hotel.

You haven't got a lake here, have you?

No, but the hotel has
beds for you to lie down on.

That's a very clever
remark, take me to a taxi please.

The last plane brought in
a man who was pretty airsick.

- I see. Oh, what I can do for you?
- No, no, I mean the plane before the last.

- He's registered under the name of Roberts.
- Well, who are you?

My name is Perry, I'm a lawyer from the city.

Well Mr. Perry, we have
a Mr. Roberts up in 301.

That's a bridal suite, you know?

How should I know?

- All alone in the bridal suite, eh?
- All alone.

Well, we mustn't let him get lonesome.

What? No rice? No old shoes?
Where is the curious bride?

If you're looking
for the way out, that isn't it.

All alone in the bridal suite.

You must love yourself.

Whoever you are, we don't make
an appropriately agreeable young couple.

I am not a habitual frequenter of nuptial
chambers but you may have heard of me anyway.

I'm Perry Mason, Dr. Doray.

Now that we know each other,
get out or you'll be kicked out.

Just like Patton perhaps. Well, you'll
have to use a different knife on me.

Well, I won't need a knife on you.

Bring yourself to life, you're a doctor.

It'll be much cozier here
when Margie gets here.

Margie isn't coming here, why you hit me?

Just self-preservation, you missed me.

- Now, where's Margie?
- How should I know?

Well, you should know.

When your head clears,
you were at the Rex Hotel with her.

You know, I make more
money out of these things.

On various cases than the
man who manufacture them.

If you're Mr. Mason, you're the one
who sent her there, I only helped her move.

Margie is the girl you intended to marry and
she's the girl you thought was at the door...

when I tapped with the timid
touch of a blushing bride.

I told you Margie wasn't coming here with me.

Then why did you buy two plane tickets?

You know so much Mr. Mason.
I'm not going to lie to you.

- Good, that's darn decent of you.
- In fact I'm not going to tell you anything.

Well, then I'll have
to save you the trouble of...

making up something
by telling you what happened.

You won't want to use that
phone, this story will fascinate you.

After the unlucky Lucky Legs Contest
you followed Margie to the city.

Nobody can hang me for loving her.
No sir, I like her myself.

I came up here as a lawyer
hoping to find her and aid her.

- Why won't you help me help her?
- Well, how can I?

By telling me where she
is and why she isn't with you.

- Margie wasn't coming here with me.
- Yes, she was.

And the reason she isn't here is
because the police caught her in town.

And she's not going to get here,
but the police will any minute.

That's a very good imitation
of me imitating a bride.

I'll be the butler.

Well..

Fancy meeting you here.

Margie.

Well, it looks like Margie
made a liar out of both of us.

Bob, what's happened?

You two would better
worry about what's going to happen.

Since you didn't show up at the airport
I've been crazy wondering what became of you.

My taxi broke down, I missed
the plane and took the first train.

Why don't you let me run the show...

instead of letting a small town
doctor drag you into a spot like this?

If I can't save you with legal science...

all the medical science in the world
won't save you when they execute you.

The doctor didn't drag me
here and I didn't k*ll anybody.

Well, you practically confessed
to k*lling when you left town.

Well, when I got the telegram telling
me to leave, I was afraid to go alone.

So I called Bob and we planned this.

You shouldn't have paid
any attention to anybody but me.

- Who sent you a telegram?
- You did.

- I did?
- It has your name signed to it.

Well, if I weren't strictly
on an anti alcoholic diet I..

I think that maybe in
a wild moment I might've but...

I didn't.

I never liked big black sedans
and I never liked big blue uniforms.

Margie, the police
have caught up with you already.

- How you like to help Margie for a change?
- Oh, I'll do anything I can.

Well, I don't know
whether you can but we'll try.

It'll probably be the hardest thing
you ever tried to do in your life.

- Well, what is it?
- Just keep absolutely quiet.

What else?

That will be plenty when
they start giving you the works.

And don't think you're
not going to get the works.

We'll see you later, come on Margie.

Oh, hang together and you'll hang separately.
Come on Margie, we better get going.

Oh, wait a minute, we can't go down like
that, we will meet the cops coming up, here.

- What is it please?
- It's a mistake, excuse it please.

Wife, have you locked
our keys in the room again?

- Oh boy.
- Yes sir?

- Boy, have you a pass key?
- Yes sir.

Will you open up please?
My wife is locked the keys in again.

My dear, if your head weren't locked
on you you'd probably lock that in too.

- Thank you very much.
- Anything else sir?

No, that will be all thanks.
I just don't want to be disturbed.

What are we going to do now?

- Mr. Mason, I'm scar...
- Silence, don't you know I'm saving you?

Here it is, right here.

No, that ain't the bridal suite, that's 309.
The clerk said it was 301, come on.

Well, if they find you here we're
both sunk, they'll drag me in with you.

Then I won't have a chance to
save your neck if it deserves saving...

by finding out who
really k*lled Patton, you or Doray.

Hey, I don't need
you, I'll take this guy back.

- Search this whole house and find that girl.
- Ok Chief.

- Here, put this in your mouth.
- It's a pencil.

Thermometer to you.

- Open up.
- Quiet, this is a matter of life or death.

What's the idea...

What's the idea of
creating such a disturbance?

You want to keep me
from saving this woman's life?

Mama. I want my mama.

- Pretty sick, eh?
- Oh, terrible, terrible.

I was looking for a young...

Never mind that,
I'm looking for an ambulance.

All the local companies say they're tied up.
You, could you commandeer one for me please?

Me? Sure. I'll phone
and get our police ambulance.

Oh, no, no, wait a minute. Don't
phone here, you'll disturb her.

You're sure the police ambulance is reliable?

- Oh, don't worry Doctor, she'll be alright.
- Say, you're a prince.

Oh, that's alright Doctor, don't say
anything about it. Glad to do you a favor.

Gently. Gently.

- Come on, stand back.
- Careful now, don't jar the patient. Easy.

- Have an accident?
- No, thank you.

- What happened?
- The girl is having a hemorrhage.

Well, don't you have one?

- Hey, Kasey.
- Yes Mr. Robert? They told me you were here.

Just got a wire from the city.

Did you come across a tall, dark
guy with a mustache and a blond girl?

Yes, he was a doctor and he
was attending a blond girl with a fever.

- How do you know?
- I stood right there and saw them.

You mean to tell me you let Perry Mason
and the m*rder*r slip through your fingers?

- Was that him?
- Sure.

And then what are we standing here
arguing for? Why don't we go after them?

- Sure, but where are they?
- Well, let me see, they're..

They're in our ambulance
heading for the airport.

Gentlemen, I want you to go back
to the chief of police of Summerville...

and the Chamber of Commerce and tell them
that Dr. Prangander and his patient...

will never forget their kindness
and their hospitality.

Goodbye Doctor, goodbye
lieutenant, just shut the door please.

Why didn't somebody stop them?

Well, there they go.

Yes, there they go.
What do you suppose I'll get for this?

You...

Why don't you and your boyfriend
go out looking for Mr. Mason?

I'm sure Mr. Johnson...

that Mr. Mason will appreciate
your cutting the leaves of his law books.

Somebody ought to do it.

And of course, he's always
been too busy with his practice.

I suppose if Mr. Mason does walk in
here you'll both jump out the window.

Well, I've left it open for you
hoping that my prophecy would come true.

Hey, hey.

- Didn't your mother teach you never to grab?
- Hello? Oh hello Mr. Mason.

This is Johnson.

When you going to be able
to drop in for a moment?

On your way someplace else?

Listen Johnson, I'm tired of you
bloodhounds using my office for a kennel.

Yes, I'll be there in an hour.

You better go out and get
yourselves something to eat.

I might be tough to take on an empty stomach.

- Ah, getting a verbal spanking?
- Says he wants to talk to the lovely blond.

I guess he's been away so
much he forgets what you're like.

Oh, just a moment gentlemen.

If you are anticipating
listening in from my private office...

I'm awfully sorry to have to inform you
but I have been a very naughty girl...

and loosened all the connections.

Hello? Oh hello, you're the man
who used to work here, aren't you?

Yes, they're going.

But I do think you should've given
the creatures more than an hour to feed.

It's so far from here to the zoo.

I don't suppose you got a line
on that anonymous lady who...

called up so full of
confidential information about Margie?

Oh, you don't, don't you?

Well, I got her name and address, where
the police lost her, I had Spudsy start in.

Wasn't that smart of me?

Yes. Eva Lamont, eh?

Yes, yes, I've got it in my head safe.

Oh, oh, Della, let me tell you, no, no,
I better not tell you on the phone.

Goodbye Della.

Well, well Margie,
here we are, alone at last.

And we have so much in
common, we both know Eva Lamont.

- You're not trying to help her?
- Certainly not, she's trying to help me.

Who is her?

Oh, she was a model at Bradbury's
working with me or rather against me.

Oh, you needn't be so jealous of her.
You've got me here, all alone, defenseless.

She's the one that's
jealous of me, she always was.

Yes and she still is and she's still
working against you and doing alright at it.

Come on, let's go and see
just how well she's doing.

Hello Eva, what do you know?

Well, for instance, what do you
know about Patton's m*rder?

Nothing and if I did I'd
only tell it to Perry Mason.

Perry Mason?

- I know that name, lawyer guy, ain't he?
- My lawyer and the best in town too.

Yeah, I know somebody who
thinks he's the best in the world.

So if you're bluffing, you
better watch out or I'll call him.

Yeah, maybe you'd better.

Get me Plymouth 1-6-6-5.

Just ask Mason if it ain't alright
for me to investigate you thoroughly.

Hello? Yeah, hurry.
Hello? Oh hello Mr. Mason.

Yeah. Eva, Eva Lamont. Yeah, been having
a terrible time trying to get hold of you.

There's some man here who
pretends he's an officer or something.

- Just say I'm a private investigator.
- A private investigator. Yeah.

What do I do? Oh.

Oh, thank you Mr. Mason. Yeah. Goodbye.

He says to see him in his office
and for me to have nothing to do with you.

You're sure that was
Perry Mason you was talking to?

I called his office a little
while ago and he wasn't there.

When you try to get to Perry Mason
it makes a difference who you are.

Well, I guess that's right.

Well, I, I got to see him someway.

I warn you, you're
going to have a tough time.

Oh, come on in honey.

It's good to see somebody
from the old hometown.

Especially you Margie, because there's
somebody that would like to see you.

- Get me police headquarter.
- Not so loud, they're liable to hear you.

No, never mind that police headquarters
number, get me Washing 2000 instead.

Come right in and sit down please.

If you're looking for Mr. Mason, I don't
know when the gentleman will be back.

The gentleman is here.

Don't lie to me, you're
no gentleman, you are Perry Mason.

Oh, I see you
haven't been idle while I was out.

Glad that your work
doesn't interfere with your art.

But who is this particularly
hideous and dissipated devil?

You mean, the one with the big
black circles under his eyes?

- Yes.
- That's you.

- Just a little touched in the head.
- Who now?

- Oh, we have company.
- Oh, haven't you two met?

Oh, goodness gracious me.
Come over into the meeting department.

This is my handicap Della Street.

- Della, this is Miss...
- How do you do?

- Oh, yes Miss Margie Clune.
- Oh, it's very nice having known you.

You must be a little touched in
the head bringing her up here.

It's too late now for you to square
yourself with the police by giving her up.

They want you too,
as an accessory to the crime.

Heavens, don't forget what the
doctor said, any excitement is bad for you.

Now we'll just keep this office locked and

maybe through the door, our contest
winner will give us some beauty hints.

Excuse me while I lock you in a little.

The total bill is just
83 dollars and 95 cents.

And if you'll just give
me a statement with telephone...

calls and everything
itemized, I, promise not to complain.

We'll have it for you right away sir.

Well Spudsy, I
sincerely appreciate this visit.

I want you to get Eva Lamont
to my office as quickly as possible.

With the very minimum
of casualties to either team.

Well, if I were you boss, I wouldn't walk
around town with the cops looking for you.

Believe it or not, right now
I'm going out to hunt for a cop.

But I'm going to be very
particular of what cop I find.

Oh, oh, very pretty.
What the well dressed man will wear.

Don't do that.

- Hello.
- I want to see Mason right away.

- Where is he?
- He's out.

- You sure he isn't in there drunk?
- Oh, I'm sure he isn't in there.

- But I can't guarantee that he's not drunk.
- Who's drunk? Bradbury again?

I'm in full control of all my faculties sir.

Oh, that's too bad.

But you do seem a little upset
about something colonel.

- I am. I want to have a showdown.
- It's a fine night for it.

Have we anything else on for this evening?

Well, a little later, some people are
dropping in but only for a few minutes.

Alright, start your show sir.

In all decency, you ought to tell
what you know about this m*rder...

so that Doray can be brought to justice
and I can go home to Cloverdale.

What are cloverdales daddy?

Silence woman, this is serious.
Blood is been spilled Bradbottom...

Bradbury.

Do the police share your
enthusiasm for Doray's conviction?

Well, the authority certainly
believe that Doray was the k*ller.

Well, I don't always
agree with the authorities.

But who else could've
k*lled Patton with Doray's knife?

Little Margie Doray give her anything
he had, even a knife to k*ll Patton.

Well, of course, we definitely
want to get the real m*rder*r.

- Oh definitely, that seems only fair.
- Oh, the Marines have landed.

More guests? Friends of yours Della?

- Never seen them before.
- We can go now Mason.

- Good, goodbye.
- You're coming with us Mason.

- You got your hat?
- Got your warrant?

- You'll need that before I need my hat.
- You get a break this way.

Headquarters just wants
a questioning, sort of informal.

I'd like it better formal.

Oh, if it's formal I can wear
my new evening gown, can't I daddy?

Yes dear.

If we get a warrant for you,
that means a prosecution.

Prosecute me and I'll be
defended by the best lawyer in town.

That's me Mr. Bradbury.

Hey...

how come everybody ain't in
there where it's comfortable?

On account of certain people that have been
hanging out there lately, we're fumigating.

There's something awful smelly about
this, I think we ought to take a peek.

That's another thing you'll need
a warrant for, even to take a sniff.

- Hey, I bet that means something.
- He probably means the Clune girl.

It means you won't find out
unless you want a little workout.

Oh dear. Oh. Here.

Oh Bradbury, you do something.

Oh, no. No, no, you mustn't go in there.

- Oh Margie? And now I find you here.
- Clune, I want you.

Hey, you can't do this without a warrant.

Della, she's liable to find that
bottle of 80-year-old brandy.

Oh, I dread to think of it.

A little more to the right dearie.

- You let me alone, let me alo...
- I'm not going to leave you alone.

Call Chief Bisonette and ask him to bring
the district attorney as our guest of honor.

In a minute we're going
to stage the police annual picnic.

You better stop fooling with me.

You're being handcuffed Margie,
for throwing my whiskey about.

Listen Mason, just because you're
a big-time lawyer you think you can...

get away with m*rder, runaway murderers.

Catching this girl here makes it so.
Now we can arrest you without a warrant.

Mason, you're under
arrest. Hey, where is Mason?

Somebody want me?
Somebody important I mean Johnson?

The chief of police is
on the phone, is he important?

Oh, just give him the message I gave you.
Just tell him he's invited to the picnic.

Say Mason...

Don't bother me Johnson while I'm
investigating this delicate situation.

Ah. Well, at least
Margie didn't k*ll the brandy.

Mason, we've got you where we want you now.

You think the chief
is going to come and visit you...

or you're going to come and visit the chief?

May I answer for Mr. Mason Mr. Johnson?

The chief of police wants to know if he and
the district attorney can come right over.

Certainly, tell them to come right away.
Tell them I am busy with Sergeant Johnson.

Lieutenant.

You'll be a sergeant when
I get through with you lieutenant.

Mr. Mason says it's alright to bring the
district attorney if he's bathed and shaved.

But hurry Chiefy, we're waiting.

No, we're not going to wait...

get your book Della, I want
to start dictating my confession.

Your confession?

Certainly, I can confess if I
want to, where's your book, Della?

Right here, where it fell the
other night when you and I were...

Oh, I forgot, this is your confession.

Came a letter from
Cloverdale signed by a Mr. Bradbury.

You go Johnson, maybe you'll get shot.

- Come in Chief.
- Thank you sergeant.

- I told you so.
- Perry, you're never wrong.

Do come in gentleman
and sit down and be quiet.

- Now, not so fast Mason.
- I'm sorry Bissy, am I ahead of you?

Mr. Mason is telling the truth
chief, I mean he's confessing.

Alright officer, let Mr. Mason continue.

From experience I
find it much less embarrassing...

to listen to him before we go into court.

We'll start as is the custom
by roasting someone who isn't present.

Let's take a very likely prospect.

Patton's first visitor the night
death dropped in on him for a long stay.

- Miss Thelma Bell.
- You give me my money or I'll k*ll you.

And you've got the dough, you...

- give it to me or I'll give you something.
- Shut up.

I like to drink in peace and quiet.

I want my money. I want my money.
Lucky Legs, Lucky Legs.

Ah, why don't you behave?

Yeah, well, my legs weren't lucky for me and
they won't be lucky for you. I'm going to...

Patton and Thelma wrestled
and waltzed out into the bedroom.

Out in Patton's living room, the door
slowly, slowly opened and a man...

- A man came in, that ought to be...
- Hello, Perry.

- How is the diet going?
- Oh fine, I'm learning to curdle.

Well, I'm absolutely off
on my vacation in the morning.

Good, I need a rest.

Yes, but I wouldn't enjoy
myself I had you to worry about.

Come on, I want to take a final examination
of you right now, roll up your sleeve.

Sorry to make a show
of you before all these people.

Oh, that's alright, I've been
giving them quite a show myself.

Yeah, you hold that, you're doing nothing.

And now if I may be permitted
to continue, when his menace came in...

Patton locked Thelma in the bathroom. Sorry,
we haven't got a bathroom here Doctor.

Oh, never mind the bathroom.

Come on,
I'm going to take your blood pressure.

Come on, try and
act normal for once in your life.

The man who entered Patton's apartment was
just as crudely aggressive as the doctor here.

The two men got in quite a fight.

Ladies and gentleman, let us
join Thelma in the bathroom.

Let me out.

Naturally, Thelma worked up
quite a high blood pressure.

- How's mine Doc?
- Perfect, I'm sorry to say.

Suddenly, it was all calm at Patton's.

- It was all over quick.
- Come on, unbutton your shirt.

- How far you going with this thing Doc?
- Take it easy Miss.

Of course, that was just a simple m*rder.

You have to expect more troublesome
complications with a medical examination.

Thelma had, evidently, been
locked in bathrooms before...

because it didn't take her long
to open the door with a nail file.

But don't find any nail files
in my chest, do you Doctor?

Shut up and I'll find out.

Then when Thelma opened the bathroom door...

Help.

As we all know, the handle
sticking out of Patton's heart...

was attached to Dr. Doray's surgical knife.

What are you preparing to stick in me Doctor?

Here it is.

Come on mister mister Brad Bradshaw.
Out you go, you got three months to live.

Come on Perry, sit down.

- Show me your tongue.
- Ah.

As soon as the doctor
gets through probing into me...

I'll probe a little deeper into the surgical
k*lling of another man named Patton.

- Not oh, ah.
- Ah.

Thelma finally got the freight
elevator and went out the back way.

I saw Margie coming out the front way.

I recognized the lucky legs.

- Will that be all Doctor?
- It's all I can do here.

You'll have to step into my
office to ascertain the final verdict.

- May I bring my guests along?
- Certainly. I've nothing to hide.

Alright, my friends.

The doctor's office is just down the hall.

If you want to know the final verdict on
how Patton died and whether I'm dying...

come along everybody.

- Well, Dr. Frankenstein.
- No cracks, this is serious.

May I be permitted a
few words while you dissect me?

Nothing in the medical science
would stop you from yapping. Lights out.

Oh Perry, you got the cutest kidneys.

Well, thank you Della, you say
the sweetest things about me.

Come on Mason, let's get the story.

There were just two men interested
enough in Margie to k*ll Patton for her.

Dr. Doray and Colonel Bradbury.

- The man who did it was...
- Lights please.

Put your shirt on Perry.

No matter what the doctor's report is
Mr. Mason on your physical condition...

I don't think there will be any trouble
proving that you're mentally quite unsound.

Keep your shirt on Bradbury.
I'll have mine on in a minute.

I suppose you're going
to accuse me of this m*rder.

You win a cigar, but you'll have to
wait till we get back to my office.

Martin, aren't you
supposed to be on your feet?

Yes sir. I just got here Mr. Mason told me to
come up here as soon as I could sneak away.

You'll accept Martin's
testimony, won't you, Bissy?

- I guess I'll have to.
- He's the alert officer...

who pegged Doray's car brought it
in with a case of surgical tools in it.

Tell the boss all about it Martin.

Well, I certainly was surprised when I
honked the horn and out comes Dr. Doray.

What's so surprising about that?

Well, he thought the owner of the car was the
same man he saw shutting the door of it...

when he first pegged the
traffic violation from across the street.

Yes sir, naturally, I figured he's the owner
but I never see him again up until just now.

But that's him, alright.

Let's go in my office where we
can relax. Oh, thank you Bissy.

Why don't you hire a valet Mason?

Well, you're a servant of
the public, aren't you Bissy?

- Thank you Officer Martin, you may go now.
- I'll tell him when to go. Go.

- He certainly minds you, doesn't he Bissy?
- You said it.

Come in gentleman, come
into the relaxing department.

Look here Perry,
you accuse this man of m*rder.

Isn't it about time you prove something?

- Thank you Mr. Kenchester.
- Manchester is the name.

Bradbury went to Patton's apartment.

I hope you'll pardon my intrusion
but I didn't know where Patton live.

And if I'd known I certainly wouldn't have
paid you money Mr. Mason to find out.

You knew where he lived because
you listened in at my office switchboard...

when I telephoned Patton's address.

You remember Della
the loud click on the line?

Yes, I remember, you
accused me of clicking the telephone.

Bradbury went to Patton's apartment.

He heard Thelma's voice and
thought it was Margie screeching.

Then when he found Doray's car parked
nearby he knew Margie was around.

So he took the knife out of Doray's
car and went back to Patton's with...

blood in his baby brown eyes.

Isn't it a bit far fetched that I should
stumble across Doray's car so conveniently?

You know, I thought it was a little far
fetched myself but Copper Martin saw you.

And if you contradict him
you insult Chief Bisonette.

And if you say you didn't go back
and stick Doray's knife in Patton you...

contradict me and that's worse.

So bad as it is, I'll take
a chance, I did not k*ll Patton.

Well, anyway, after the
m*rder I sent Margie into hiding...

at a hotel where I always hide my clients
because I happen to be part owner of it.

- Try to find out which one Bissy.
- I will.

I told Margie not to leave the hotel but she
got a telegram telling her to get out of town.

Got your name signed to it.

But it was charged to your
hotel bill which I generously paid.

Thelma forwarded the
telegram to Margie's hiding place.

I knew she left and Doray knew she'd left.

Let me help you light that Bradbury with
the packet of matches Doray got when...

he took Margie to her new hotel.

Pull hard colonel.

Because you didn't know
Margie had left this address.

Are you forgetting again that I paid
you money to find her address for me?

You found it without any help from me.

You found it on a telephone memo in Patton's
apartment after you m*rder*d him.

Gentleman, I have only one thing to say and
it may disappoint all of you considerably.

Oh dear dear, I couldn't
stand a disappointment now.

Will you excuse me gentlemen,
if I step out of the room for a moment?

Sorry to be late Mr. Mason but we
had to stop while I got bandaged up.

- Are you Mr. Mason?
- Yes and I always have been.

Sorry Spudsy, I didn't know
that Eva was so hard to handle.

Oh, Eva was Ok, I brought her in easy.
But when I caught Eva, my wife caught me.

- Sucker, why didn't you duck?
- I did, but I came up too soon.

Come on Eva.

So you see gentlemen,
all that's necessary to prove...

where I was at the time of
the crime is to find the little lady.

And here she is colonel and never say
that this office doesn't give service.

It's very kind of you sir.

I knew she was your friend because
when I showed her Margie she...

pretended to phone the
police and phoned you instead.

If Eva known then I was Perry Mason
she would've known I was at the keyhole.

Eva, just explain to these gentlemen
that we spent the evening together.

- Well, we...
- Yes, do Eva.

But before you explain to the gentlemen
let me point out a few of them to you.

On your left is chief of police Bisonette
and there is the district attorney.

- Yeah?
- Yeah, and in this city perjury is a felony.

Well, I'm just a
little girl from the country.

And the only thing I don't
like about this city is the jail.

- Eva, tell the truth.
- Ok, boss.

Mr. Bradbury phoned me to come
to the city and when I got here...

he told me to say I'd been
with him since since o'clock.

- And when did you meet him?
- About 10:30, but only for a few minutes.

I didn't know he committed a m*rder.

Hey, you...

Well ladies and gentlemen, the winner.

Sergeant, you don't need to be
afraid to put the handcuffs on him now.

And when Jack the knifer
comes to, just give him my love.

And a very good night to all of you.

Oh, where are you going with that?

I can't go home tonight
so I thought I'd sleep in the park.

- Oh.
- Thanks, boss.

- Oh, where you going darling?
- Well...

you just wished us all a very good night
and I know if I stayed, you'd be miserable.

Yes, I know, but I suspect you Della.

When the police and I were wrestling
who were you going to hand that vase to?

- Me or the cops?
- Well, you just solved one mystery.

Ah, that's what I thought.