13x07 - Waifs and Strays

[bunniefuu]

♪ Heartbeat

♪ Why do you miss when my baby kisses me?

♪ Heartbeat

♪ Why does a love kiss stay in my memory? ♪

MUSIC: 'House of the Rising Sun' by The Animals

♪ There is a house in New Orleans

♪ They call the Rising Sun

♪ And it's been the ruin... ♪

Hello, Meg. Katie phoned to say that your dad wasn't feeling very good.

There's nothing wrong with him.

Oh. Do you mind if I have a quick word?

He's out with t'cows. You've had a wasted journey.

MEG: What did you go and do that for?

We don't need no-one. We can look after him ourselves.

KNOCKING ON DOOR

Sorry. Can I use your phone to ring the surgery?

It's on t'dresser.

Thank you.

Hello there.

They must have already gone. Thanks anyway.

Isn't this your Dad's coat?

David, I know things haven't gone exactly to plan

in the last few weeks,

in fact it's been an absolute disaster,

but I've been doing some thinking.

You know, we've got a lot to be thankful for.

Have you dragged me out in the rain just to tell me that?

David, that was a mere shower.

What do you want me to do with that, then?

Take the pointed end...

VERNON: ..stick it in the ground...

- And you give it a whack. - What's it pointing at?

The new route to my early retirement, with a bit of luck.

MUSIC: 'House of the Rising Sun' by The Animals

- How long's he been dead? - Couple of days at least, I'd say.

- Any idea of the cause? - Coronary. He'd had a scare before.

How have the kids taken it?

The two youngest hadn't even realised he'd died.

What?!

Meg just told them that he was poorly and shouldn't be disturbed.

STEVE: Why would she do that?

What am I meant to be looking at?

The foundation of my new business empire, David.

Eh?

Got it off Toppy Wilson for an absolute song.

It's a field.

To the untrained eye, maybe,

but to the keen entrepreneurial mind,

this field represents a golden opportunity.

For what?

A caravan site.

- Eh? - Well, look around!

People in cities would give their eye teeth for a vista like this.

VERNON: Who needs the Costa Whatever when you've got

all this natural beauty right here on your own doorstep?

VERNON: Mass tourism is upon us, David,

and the caravan is leading the way.

Who knows? In a couple of years we could be up there with Billy Butlin.

I reckon we could get caravans in here at a pinch.

If we packed them in nice and tight.

LIZ: Is there anyone we can phone? Relatives?

Is there anyone you can stay with?

We're staying here.

In cases like yours there are people who can help...

I'm not letting Welfare take 'em. I knew this would happen.

Go on, say please.

Say please.

Good girl. Good girl.

Who's this, then?

I found her abandoned outside the police station this morning.

No collar, no nothing.

She's taken a shine to you.

Unfortunately, Mrs Ventress is allergic.

The only time a neighbour's dog got in the house

she sneezed like a locomotive. She put her back out as a result.

She was in traction for weeks. Most distressing it was.

Well, it's not staying in here. It can go in a kennel in the yard.

- This isn't an animal sanctuary. - Oh, don't you worry, Sarge.

I'll soon find a good home for this one.

Aye, well, the sooner the better.

Stand by your beds, David. We're in business.

- Are you open? - We most certainly are, ladies.

A pound a night, all inclusive.

- Thank you very much. - Most kind of you.

Not at all. Have you come far?

Actually, we're touring the country.

Compiling a caravanner's guide of all the sites.

Really? Well, I sincerely hope ours meets with your approval.

We're ideally situated for a wide range of tourist attractions.

We passed one or two interesting looking houses on the way in.

If it's architecture you're interested in,

Ashfordly Hall is not too far away,

and there are one or two other substantial properties in the area.

Mostly old money, of course.

How interesting.

Thank you. You've been most helpful.

A pleasure. Park wherever you like.

Oh, Mr Vernon, look.

Ho-ho-ho!

They're pouring in despite the weather, David.

RADIO: ♪ Sugar and spice and all things nice

♪ Kisses sweeter than wine...

ROBERT: Hello, Meg, what's for tea?

KATIE: I'm starving!

I'll have a look.

♪ You know that little girl is mine

♪ Everybody stops and stares at my baby

♪ When she's walking down the street

♪ People passing by just look at my baby

♪ Cos my baby looks so sweet

♪ You know she's sugar and spice and all things nice

♪ Kisses sweeter than wine

♪ Sugar and spice and all things nice

♪ You know that little girl is mine ♪

Well, thanks.

- Come on, Steve. - What's all this in aid of, then?

The Barnwell kids. I reckon we owe it to Walter

to make sure they're all right, don't you?

I was up there again this morning. They're finding it a struggle.

I can imagine. Thanks.

Meg apparently sent Peter Sampson from Welfare packing.

She gave him a right earful.

That won't have done her any favours.

- They won't be able to stay there. - It's their home.

They'd be better off somewhere they can be taken care of properly.

Well, Meg won't agree to that.

She won't have much choice

if the court thinks they ought to be in care.

Aidensfield is their home. Everything they know is here.

Alf, what have you got there, then?

STEVE: Got yourself a new drinking companion?

I couldn't leave her whining in the police yard all night,

annoying the neighbours.

- Pint please, Gina. - GINA: Aren't you a lovely fella?

Mrs Ventress obviously thought so some time ago,

otherwise she wouldn't have married me.

Not you!

- He's gorgeous. Aren't you? - He's a she.

If someone doesn't claim her,

I've got seven days to find her a home.

She'd be a good guard dog for this place.

No. She looks too much like a little softy to me.

She's too young for that kind of responsibility.

Meg's had to grow up fast.

I think with support she could look after Robert and Katie.

The farm is all they've ever known and that's where they belong.

The worst thing that could happen is they're shunted from pillar to post.

With your background, I'd have thought you would understand that.

She's right, you know, Steve.

KATIE: I heard a noise.

What's going to happen to us, Meg?

Just close your eyes and get some sleep.

MUSIC: 'Don't Bring Me Down' by The Pretty Things

♪ I'm on my own

♪ Just want to roam

♪ I tell you, man

♪ Don't want a home

♪ I wander around

♪ Feet off the ground

♪ I even roam

♪ From town to town

♪ I say I think this life is grand ♪

Hey! You!

Stop! Thief! Bring that back!

Well, from the description it's pretty clear who it was.

The point is, however sorry I feel for the lad, and I do, genuinely,

I can't have him upsetting the punters. It's bad for business.

I'll have a word with him.

He can count himself lucky they don't want to pursue the matter.

Most magnanimous of them, if you ask me.

MELLOW ROCK MUSIC

MEG: Go on! Go on!

MEG: Go on! Go on!

MEG: Go on!

LIZ: Good morning.

Thought I'd pop by and see if there's anything I can do.

Pull her back, Robert!

Go on, get out of there, you stupid beggar!

End stall!

They just used to go in for Dad!

Can I help?

No!

Stupid animal!

OSCAR: Thanks.

- I can't believe it. - No-one can.

You know, I never thought he had it in him,

raising those three kids on his own.

Before Maureen died the only thing he'd bottle-fed was a lamb.

He did a fine job, keeping that family together.

He certainly did, Bernie. A remarkable man.

What do you reckon'll happen to them now?

Well, Meg's an adult in the eyes of the law.

If the court deems her responsible, she could be made 'legal guardian'.

And if not?

That doesn't bear thinking about, Bernie.

If they get split up it would finish them off, I reckon.

We're trying to contact the owners. Ta. Bye.

- Good morning, Sarge. - Morning. Problem?

Cows. Looks like they've escaped from one of Walter's fields.

I'm on my way to have a word with Robert. I'll let them know.

- What time is the funeral? - Not until this afternoon.

If this is how they're going to run that farm,

I'm not sure it's a good idea. It's too much for the girl.

Probably just another rambler leaving the gates open.

We'll see.

- More bovine complaints? - No.

d*ck Arnold reported a burglary at Scroggs Howe.

Bellamy, you'd better go over there.

And I want a home found for that dog by this time tomorrow.

DOG WHIMPERS

What were you thinking?

- Don't know. - Do you want to end up in a home?

- No. - If you carry on like this,

the magistrates will assume you can't be trusted. It's up to you.

It's these two you'll be letting down.

MUSIC: 'Summer Holiday' by Cliff Richard

♪ We're all going on a summer holiday

♪ No more working for a week or two

♪ Fun and laughter on our summer holiday...

I'm sorry. I've nearly finished.

Mr Vernon's going to turn the pump on in a minute.

- What pump? - The water is heated, isn't it?

Well, yeah, it does get quite warm.

♪ ..let's see if it's true

♪ Everybody has a summer holiday

♪ Doing things they always wanted to

♪ So we're going on a summer holiday

♪ To make that dream come true

♪ For me and you... ♪

GURGLING

Mr Vernon!

This is how he got in. Through here.

- Mr Arnold? - Mm-hm.

Any idea what time this happened?

Last night. About two o'clock. I heard a noise.

Came downstairs and I found this.

Carriage clock, canteen of cutlery, small stuff mainly.

All gone. Oh, and £ in cash from the sideboard.

- Don't suppose you saw anything? - As a matter of fact, I did.

From the bedroom window.

Couldn't give us a description, could you?

I can do better than that. I can give you a name.

Ladies, please!

Unreserved apologies. The filter slipped off the pump,

hence our amphibious friend...

It's not good enough, is it, Phyllis?

I assure you it will not happen again.

I should hope not!

I trust you won't need to mention this in the... in the guide book.

We'll have to see about that.

I fixed it. What did they say?

From now on, everything must run like clockwork,

otherwise our name will be mud.

And the fellowship of the Holy Spirit

be with us all, evermore. Amen.

MUSIC: 'What Have They Done To The Rain' by The Searchers

♪ Falling all around

♪ The grass lifts its head

♪ To the heavenly sound

♪ Just a little rain just a little rain

♪ What have they done to the rain?

OSCAR: A date's been set for the hearing.

It's a waste of time. They've already made up their minds.

Not necessarily.

It's up to you to persuade them otherwise. You can, I'm sure of it.

So many people around here are your friends and on your side.

Besides, I promised your dad if anything happened to him

I'd look out for you.

And I intend to keep that promise.

Where's Robert?

PHONE RINGS

Ashfordly Police Station.

When was this?

Right. We'll get someone out to you straight away. Bye.

- Sarge! Another break-in. - Where?

Aidensfield. Just behind the church.

♪ Just a little breeze with some smoke in its eye

♪ What have they done to the rain?

♪ Just a little boy standing in the rain

♪ The gentle rain that falls for years

♪ And the grass is gone

♪ The boy disappears ♪

It was a carbon copy.

Forced entry on the ground floor, small items taken, cash,

bronze statue...

I'll put money on it was the same person,

and I reckon I know who that person was, as well.

Oh?

- The Barnwell lad. - What makes you say that?

Mr Arnold said he saw him running away from the house.

A bit out of his league, I'd have thought.

Apart from the caravan site, he's not been in trouble before, has he?

Not to my knowledge, no.

When did this latest burglary take place?

- After the service. - I can't see it, myself.

He promised me he'd keep his nose clean.

Who did?

Phil wants to interview Robert Barnwell over the break-ins.

I'm just not convinced it's such a wise idea

or even necessary, given the circumstances.

What evidence do you have against him?

He was seen in the vicinity at the time of the first break-in

at the Arnold place and we know he's capable of stealing.

Biscuits and sausages, yes. It's hardly the same.

I just think we should tread carefully, sarge.

- Those kids are having a rough time. - Ashfordly Police Station.

Crane, you talk to him. A word of caution, though.

It doesn't do to get personally involved.

Steve... It's Meg Barnwell on the phone.

She insists she'll only speak with you.

Robert! Wait!

A minor hiccup, David. That's all it was.

Norma and Phyllis are fine now I've buttered 'em up.

Do you know something? I truly believe that this campsite

will put the Scripps name back on the map. I feel it in my water.

KNOCKING ON DOOR

Here we go. More coffers for the pension fund.

Welcome to Elysian Fields, luxury caravan...

Luxury, my foot! This site is overrun with sheep!

Ah. Erm...

A minor fencing problem, I should think.

Mr Stockwell will come and deal with it straight away. David!

We found one trapped in our caravan.

I'm so sorry. David will sort it out.

- Be quick about it! - It's eating our soft furnishings.

SHEEP BLEATS

Hiya. Gina asked me to drop these off for you.

Just a few things to keep you going.

I see. You'd better come in.

I'll give you some money.

- I'm sure she's not expecting any. - We don't want charity.

- Dr Merrick. Sorry to intrude. - You're not.

- Tea? - Thank you.

You'll be relieved to know I've just seen Robert in White Howe Woods.

- Did he look all right? - I think so. It's difficult to tell.

- He ran off before I got to him. - Silly boy.

I'm sure he doesn't realise the trouble he's caused.

I just thought I'd better ring you.

- I wasn't unlike him at his age. - You?

I was a right handful, for a while, anyway,

until my father knocked me into shape.

I find that very hard to believe.

I probably inherited it from my free-spirited mother.

He's only trying to help, you know.

He's just going about it a funny way.

- I know. - It were him who let t'cows out.

So I wouldn't have to milk 'em any more.

Maybe you should get someone in to help.

Look, I know what you're thinking, but I can do it on my own.

It just takes a bit of getting used to, that's all.

It'd be one less thing to have to worry about.

We're all right as we are.

We don't need no-one interfering.

Thank you, ladies and gents. Before we conclude this evening,

is there anything you'd like raised at next week's parish meeting?

d*ck.

Yes. How long are those Barnwell children

going to remain unsupervised up at the farm?

I was broken into on Tuesday.

It doesn't take a genius to put two and two together.

With the greatest respect, d*ck, in this case you've made five.

The court will be deciding their future in a matter of days.

Personally, I hope they see fit to leave them where they are.

In the meantime, however, what they need most of all is our support.

I hope that answers your question. Anything else?

- Where have you been? - What does he want?

- What have you done to your hand? - Nothing.

Let's have a look.

How did you do this?

If you hadn't been out all night, Dr Merrick could have seen to it.

- It needs cleaning! - It's all right!

Don't worry.

- You're not necessarily in trouble. - Then why are you here?

Robert, there's been break-ins in the village.

- And you think it's me? - No. But there are those that do.

- So, where were you this afternoon? - Just kicking about in the woods.

- Was anyone with you? - No.

That hand looks nasty. It could go septic if it's left like that.

You'd best get him to the surgery first thing tomorrow.

♪ MUNGO JERRY: In The Summertime

♪ Da-di-da-da-da

♪ Yeah, we're ha-happy

♪ Da-da da da da, di da di da, da-da-da

♪ Oh, yeah! Da da da da da

♪ Da-da-da-da-da di-da-da

♪ Ooh

♪ Ooh, ooh

♪ Ooh ♪

KNOCKING ON DOOR

Ugh! All right!

All right! I'm coming!

Who can that be?

I don't know, but it'd better be important.

I was halfway through a Caribbean cruise.

DOG BARKING

- The lights have blown now. - Kaput!

We were wondering what you intend to do about it?

Right.

Well, it's not infected. But I want you to keep it nice and dry, OK?

How long have you had this?

While you were up at the farm last night, our burglar struck.

When?

Around :. At least that puts young Robert in the clear.

- He was with you, I take it? - Not exactly.

DENNIS: What do you mean?

He didn't get back until gone half eight.

But it's not him, Sarge, I'm certain of it.

- Where was he? - In the woods, apparently.

- Alibis? - No.

In which case he's still in the frame.

I think he's innocent.

- You've only his word for that. - It's time I spoke with him.

Bellamy's quite right. You're too close. Let him handle it now.

It would be advisable if you stayed away

from that farm for a while.

Like a pack of savage hounds, they were, baying for blood.

Did that Toppy fellow not mention the dodgy drainage, then?

Must've slipped his mind.

We've got to do something to raise morale,

otherwise we're gonna have a full-blown riot on our hands.

We?

I wonder what Billy Butlin would do in my shoes?

Pass us that spanner, would you?

- You're not bothered, are you? - In a word, no.

Especially after last night's little episode.

There's a bloke here, says he talks to his trees.

He reckons it helps his apples grow.

He sounds about as daft as you talking to that dummy you had.

- What's his name? - Copperthwaite.

No! The ventriloquist's dummy you used to have.

Oh, Enoch. He wasn't useless. He was my friend.

- What ever happened to him? - You ran over him in your truck.

So, why did you go to the woods?

We've been through this with Constable Crane.

Yeah, and I'd like to go through it again.

Why does everyone think I'm lying?

I don't know what to think. You've hardly said a word so far.

So let's start at the beginning, shall we?

Where did you go to after the funeral?

Just walked.

- Where to? - Don't know.

Merton's adamant I shouldn't get involved.

It's what you should be doing, as community youth involvement officer.

I know. Thing is, Meg's asked me to be a character witness.

Merton can't do anything about that.

If the court summons you, you've got to go.

He's not going to be over the moon though, is he?

Evening, Alf. You look shattered.

You've no idea what it was like, last night.

Mrs Ventress was spluttering and wheezing.

I only let the dog into the front porch.

I never thought she'd notice.

- Still no takers, then? - No.

You need an old boy that needs some company.

Don't you look at me.

Oh.... Someone to curl up with on those long winter nights, Oscar.

If I can't have Shirley Bassey,

I'll settle for a nice hot-water bottle, thank you.

- I just don't want to. - Why not?

Listen, David. Unless we cheer this lot up ASAP,

we can kiss goodbye to our retirement fund.

You and Enoch could be the answer. Put on a bit of a show.

Besides, it can't be much of a life for him,

stuffed at the back of that wardrobe in the dark.

Imagine him on the Riviera, stretched out in a deck chair,

his little varnished cheeks glowing in the sunshine.

Come on. At least see what Enoch has to say about it.

NOSTALGIC MUSIC

AS ENOCH: Hello, David.

KNOCKING ON DOOR

- Liz. - Have you got a minute?

- Yeah, sure. Come in. - Thank you.

What's up?

Meg brought Robert into the surgery to see me today, about his hand.

Yeah, she said she would. How is he?

Fine. It's just that while he was in I noticed something else.

What?

Scabies. From the looks of it, he's had it a while.

Meg and Katie have it as well.

I just don't know how I didn't notice it before.

It's not your fault. You can't blame yourself.

The welfare department are gonna love this. I can just hear them.

"How can these children hope to run a farm

if they can't even look after their own personal hygiene?"

What do you mean?

Nothing. But like you said, it's one hell of a responsibility.

Perhaps Meg's not old enough for all of this.

Hang on a minute. I was the sceptical one. You convinced me.

I know. And now I don't know what to think.

What happens if they bring it up in court tomorrow?

I can hardly lie and say everything's fine now, can I?

No.

So what am I supposed to do?

♪ But I'm strong

♪ Strong enough to carry him...

Robert, come here. Let's do your tie up.

That's better. Get in the back.

♪ He ain't heavy

♪ He's my brother

♪ So on we go... ♪

Right, remember everything I said.

Listen to the questions carefully,

speak clearly and whatever you do, don't lose your rag.

Everything will be fine.

- This way, please. - Here we go.

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled pepper.

If Peter...

Don't you think we ought start off with something simpler than that?

- How's it going? - m*rder*r!

Look, I've told you, that was just an accident.

Quite the little comedian, isn't he?

I am now, thanks to you. You ought to be locked up for what you did.

Yes, well, curtain up in five minutes. Break a leg, as they say.

Or maybe not, in your case.

Mr Vernon.

I'm not sure about all this.

You'll be fine. There's a chemistry between you two.

The audience will see it immediately. You'll be a sensation.

Having visited the farm on several occasions,

I found rotting food on the side and evidence of vermin.

- I put bait down! - Thank you!

You'll have a chance to speak later.

Carry on, Mr Sampson.

She clearly can't cope on her own,

which is why the welfare department strongly recommend

the two minors be placed in care with immediate effect.

Ladies and gentlemen, the moment we've all been waiting for.

I want you to put your hands together and give a warm welcome

to that master of ventriloquism, David and his good friend Enoch.

APPLAUSE

- Come on! - He won't.

What do you mean he won't?

Make him!

Just a minute, folks.

- CHILD: Boring! - MAN: Get on with it!

I understand the children have scabies.

- LIZ: That's right. - An infestation of mites.

It can happen in the cleanest of families.

Shouldn't they have come to you sooner, given their condition?

It would have been advisable, yes.

How long would you say they'd been infected?

It would be difficult to say.

When was the last time you saw a case as severe?

Some people are just embarrassed about telling their doctor.

People assume it's from a lack of hygiene.

Meg was probably afraid I might judge her.

I repeat, when did you last see a case as severe?

Never.

Thank you.

POLICE RADIO: 'Control to Delta Alpha Two Four, come in, please.'

Do you want to ask anything?

PC Crane.

Yes, Sarge. As soon as I've finished in court. It's on my way back.

'Well, make it quick.'

I don't want it getting out of hand.

STEVE: 'Understood, Sarge. Out.'

So sorry.

- PC Crane. - We'd just about given up on you.

Boring!

I'm not going on unless he apologises.

Oh, for heaven's sake, David.

You do owe it to him.

He's just a lump of wood!

All right, all right. I'm sorry.

Say it like you mean it.

- What? - Go on.

CROWD SINGING 'WHY ARE WE WAITING'

I am very sorry, Enoch.

Now can we get on with it?

We're living on borrowed time as it is!

So, what's your impression of Margaret Barnwell?

Honest, trustworthy...

She tried to hide her father's death from her own two siblings.

She was frightened.

It seems to me that Margaret's response to a crisis

is to ignore it and hope that it goes away.

STEVE: I don't think that's quite fair.

- Isn't it? - She admits her mistakes.

The last thing these children need right now is more upheaval.

Meg knows that better than anyone.

They've had enough distress recently to last them a lifetime.

What they need is stability, to be surrounded by people they know,

friends, not strangers, and not to be shunted from pillar to post.

Sorry about the delay, folks. A slight technical hitch.

Mr Scripps?

If you'd like to take a seat, the show is about to start.

Oh, no, it's not. Cynthia Pilkington. Planning Department.

- Ah. - Following numerous complaints,

I've been instructed to serve you a notice

to clear this field within hours, or face prosecution.

WOMAN: What?! I don't believe it!

GENERAL HUBBUB

MAN: Blinking heck! We want our money back.

What time was this? Right, we'll get someone round there straight away.

- Another break-in? - Cattershall Lane.

Forced entry on the ground floor.

Bang goes your theory.

Young Robert's in court this morning.

So, what are you waiting for? You'd better get over there.

Yes, Sarge.

I wonder how they're getting on.

Your four-legged friend not with you today?

Success at last, sarge.

Irene Tattersall fell in love with her at first sight.

I took her round last night.

Good. At least that's one happy ending.

Are you OK?

I couldn't bear it in there any longer.

- Have they decided yet? - Still deliberating.

He twisted everything I said.

It was just as well you arrived when you did,

or they wouldn't have stood a chance.

- You spoke very well. - It was the truth.

You were right, you know, in the pub the other night.

With Dad being in the Army I spent my first years

moving here, there and everywhere.

I've always envied people able to put down roots.

Well, they've issued a Fit Persons Order.

What does that mean?

They can stay at the farm,

providing I pop in from time to time and keep an eye on them

and that they take on an experienced stockman to look after those cows.

That's wonderful!

OSCAR: Despite one or two lapses of judgement,

they thought that our Meg here was a responsible character.

I second that.

Thanks, all of you, for everything.

Come on, I'll take you home.

SONG: 'Money'

♪ The best things in life are free

♪ But you can give it to the birds and bees

♪ I need money

- ♪ That's what I want - ♪ Give me money

♪ That's what I want

♪ I want mo-o-o-oney

♪ That's what I want

♪ Your love, it gives me such a thrill

♪ But your love, it don't pay my bills

- ♪ I need money - ♪ That's what I want

- ♪ Yeah, that's what I want - ♪ That's what I want

Excuse me, Mr Scripps, would you mind?

David?

LAUGHS

- Everything all right? - Couldn't be better.

- Why the mass exodus? - Ask Enoch over there.

A site like this requires planning consent, which you don't have.

All right, thank you, David.

CAR HORN TOOTS

STEVE: Hang on, ladies, we'll put some wood under the wheels.

Oh, thank you.

Ladies, can you switch off your engine and give me the keys, please?

I knew we should have left last night.

Yes. For once, I wish I'd listened to you.

Delta Alpha Two Four to Control.

ALF: 'Go ahead, Steve.'

Alf, I'm at the caravan site.

There's something here I think Phil ought to see.

- Is there a problem? - Not any more.

- To the Barnwell kids. - BOTH: Cheers.

GINA: Phil, we need to talk.

Phil! Nice of you to join us.

- Pint? - Yeah.

Somebody looks in a good mood.

Congratulations on the Barnwell case. Obviously your lucky day.

- Looks like it. - I owe you an apology.

- What for? - Ignoring good advice.

I don't blame you. It was only a hunch.

- No hard feelings, then? - Course not.

According to Division they've been at it a while,

travelling round the country, breaking and entering.

Their caravan was like an Aladdin's cave,

hundreds of pounds worth of stuff. Cheers, anyway.

OSCAR: Alf. I thought you'd got rid of it.

Doesn't get on with the budgie, apparently.

Irene woke up this morning and found feathers all over the front room.

Are you still looking for a home for it?

Why, do you know of one?

MUSIC: 'Rainbow' by Marmalade

♪ I was sold by the way you let it fly

♪ Rainbow

♪ Look me up, look me down

♪ Rainbow...

Robert! Katie!

♪ You were fun to have around...

Oh!

What's his name?

- There you go, Robert. - Thanks.

- Can she stay with us? - I don't see why not.

♪ You were here, you were there ♪