02x02 - Episode 2

[bunniefuu]

[ "O canada" plays ]

[ "O canada" plays ]
you're right.

[ "O canada" plays ]
you're right.
When the b*ll*ts are in it, it

You're right.
When the b*ll*ts are in it, it
definitely has a higher pitch.

When the b*ll*ts are in it, it
definitely has a higher pitch.
Yeah.

Definitely has a higher pitch.
Yeah.
Yeah.

Uh, well, well.

Uh, well, well.
[ Clears throat ]

Uh, well, well.
[ Clears throat ]
[ harmonica plays "alouette,

[ Clears throat ]
[ harmonica plays "alouette,
gentille alouette" ]

[ Harmonica plays "alouette,
gentille alouette" ]
♪ alouette, gentille alouette

Gentille alouette" ]
♪ alouette, gentille alouette
alouette, je te plumerai

♪ Alouette, gentille alouette
alouette, je te plumerai
je te plumerai la tête

Alouette, je te plumerai
je te plumerai la tête
je te plumerai la tête

Je te plumerai la tête
je te plumerai la tête
et la tête ♪

Je te plumerai la tête
et la tête ♪
♪ et la tête ♪

Et la tête ♪
♪ et la tête ♪
♪ alouette, gentille

♪ Et la tête ♪
♪ alouette, gentille
alouette

♪ Alouette, gentille
alouette
alouette, je te plumerai

Alouette
alouette, je te plumerai
je te plumerai le bush

Alouette, je te plumerai
je te plumerai le bush
je te plumerai le bush

Je te plumerai le bush
je te plumerai le bush
et la bush ♪

Je te plumerai le bush
et la bush ♪
♪ et la bush ♪

Et la bush ♪
♪ et la bush ♪
♪ oooooooohh ♪

♪ Et la bush ♪
♪ oooooooohh ♪
shh.

♪ Oooooooohh ♪
shh.
Oh.

Shh.
Oh.
Hmm.

Oh.
Hmm.
Oh!

Hmm.
Oh!
♪ Alouette, gentille

Oh!
♪ Alouette, gentille
alouette

♪ Alouette, gentille
alouette
alouette, je te plumerai ♪

Alouette
alouette, je te plumerai ♪
shall we go after him,

Alouette, je te plumerai ♪
shall we go after him,
jacques?

Shall we go after him,
jacques?
No, francois, let that one

Jacques?
No, francois, let that one
go.

No, francois, let that one
go.
He has spirit.

Go.
He has spirit.
Someday, he may be vice

He has spirit.
Someday, he may be vice
president.

Someday, he may be vice
president.
♪ Alouette, gentille

President.
♪ Alouette, gentille
alouette ♪

♪ Alouette, gentille
alouette ♪
eh, we've had a good day,

Alouette ♪
eh, we've had a good day,
francois.

Eh, we've had a good day,
francois.
But we must take care not to

Francois.
But we must take care not to
deplete the stock.

But we must take care not to
deplete the stock.
True.

Deplete the stock.
True.
We don't want to make the same

True.
We don't want to make the same
mistake we made with the beaver.

We don't want to make the same
mistake we made with the beaver.
Oh, the beaver!

Mistake we made with the beaver.
Oh, the beaver!
What were we thinking?!

Oh, the beaver!
What were we thinking?!
Where were our heads?

What were we thinking?!
Where were our heads?
We got to learn to think...

Where were our heads?
We got to learn to think...
With our heads.

We got to learn to think...
With our heads.
We got to think.

With our heads.
We got to think.
Where were our heads?

We got to think.
Where were our heads?
Jacques! Francois!

Where were our heads?
Jacques! Francois!
Ah, my friends.

Jacques! Francois!
Ah, my friends.
So, what have you brought me

Ah, my friends.
So, what have you brought me
today?

So, what have you brought me
today?
We have some fendi and some

Today?
We have some fendi and some
perry ellis and, of course,

We have some fendi and some
perry ellis and, of course,
hugo boss, and, of course, many,

Perry ellis and, of course,
hugo boss, and, of course, many,
many armani.

Hugo boss, and, of course, many,
many armani.
[ Sniffs ] fresh.

Many armani.
[ Sniffs ] fresh.
Ah, yesterday's k*ll.

[ Sniffs ] fresh.
Ah, yesterday's k*ll.
♪ Alouette, gentille

Ah, yesterday's k*ll.
♪ Alouette, gentille
alouette

♪ Alouette, gentille
alouette
alouette, je te plumerai ♪

Kay, you look wonderful.

Kay, you look wonderful.
Well, thank you, essie.

Kay, you look wonderful.
Well, thank you, essie.
So do you.

Well, thank you, essie.
So do you.
Now, when was the last time

So do you.
Now, when was the last time
that I saw you?

Now, when was the last time
that I saw you?
Oh, uh...

That I saw you?
Oh, uh...
Jeez.

Oh, uh...
Jeez.
Hi!

Jeez.
Hi!
Emily, hi!

Hi!
Emily, hi!
Oh, your hair.

Emily, hi!
Oh, your hair.
I like it.

Oh, your hair.
I like it.
Do you like it?

I like it.
Do you like it?
I can't believe you've cut

Do you like it?
I can't believe you've cut
your hair.

I can't believe you've cut
your hair.
Oh, well, when I broke up

Your hair.
Oh, well, when I broke up
with tony, it seemed like the

Oh, well, when I broke up
with tony, it seemed like the
natural thing to do.

With tony, it seemed like the
natural thing to do.
What?

Natural thing to do.
What?
You broke up with tony?

What?
You broke up with tony?
Oh, yes. Didn't you hear?

You broke up with tony?
Oh, yes. Didn't you hear?
Oh, he went bald.

Oh, yes. Didn't you hear?
Oh, he went bald.
We broke up.

Oh, he went bald.
We broke up.
He went bald?

We broke up.
He went bald?
Men are so predictable.

He went bald?
Men are so predictable.
Aren't they?

Men are so predictable.
Aren't they?
Get this -- there was more, too.

Aren't they?
Get this -- there was more, too.
He started wearing a driving cap

Get this -- there was more, too.
He started wearing a driving cap
around the house, and he grew a

He started wearing a driving cap
around the house, and he grew a
moustache.

Around the house, and he grew a
moustache.
At the end, he was calling me a

Moustache.
At the end, he was calling me a
man-eater.

At the end, he was calling me a
man-eater.
A man-eater?

Man-eater.
A man-eater?
I don't believe it.

A man-eater?
I don't believe it.
Well, it's his own fault

I don't believe it.
Well, it's his own fault
for being so edible.

Well, it's his own fault
for being so edible.
[ Laughter ]

For being so edible.
[ Laughter ]
ladies, excuse me.

[ Laughter ]
ladies, excuse me.
These french fries were sent to

Ladies, excuse me.
These french fries were sent to
you by the gentleman over there.

These french fries were sent to
you by the gentleman over there.
Oh, no, no, not him, the

You by the gentleman over there.
Oh, no, no, not him, the
other one, the one with I

Oh, no, no, not him, the
other one, the one with I
think it's a cabbage for a head.

Other one, the one with I
think it's a cabbage for a head.
Ohhh.

Think it's a cabbage for a head.
Ohhh.
He said there were no strings

Ohhh.
He said there were no strings
attached.

He said there were no strings
attached.
No, listen, could you please

Attached.
No, listen, could you please
take them back?

No, listen, could you please
take them back?
He also that if you sent them

Take them back?
He also that if you sent them
back, you could have the cash

He also that if you sent them
back, you could have the cash
equivalent.

Back, you could have the cash
equivalent.
Just leave them.

Equivalent.
Just leave them.
Thanks.

Just leave them.
Thanks.
Uh-oh.

Thanks.
Uh-oh.
Just don't look.

Uh-oh.
Just don't look.
Well, hello, equals.

Just don't look.
Well, hello, equals.
Is this chair taken?

Well, hello, equals.
Is this chair taken?
What?

Is this chair taken?
What?
Or I guess it can't be.

What?
Or I guess it can't be.
I brought it from home.

Or I guess it can't be.
I brought it from home.
So, ladies...i see you got the

I brought it from home.
So, ladies...i see you got the
french fries.

So, ladies...i see you got the
french fries.
I'm sensitive to a modern

French fries.
I'm sensitive to a modern
woman's needs.

I'm sensitive to a modern
woman's needs.
I'm sorry.

Woman's needs.
I'm sorry.
They go straight to my hips.

I'm sorry.
They go straight to my hips.
Yeah, so will i.

They go straight to my hips.
Yeah, so will i.
So, listen, ladies, I don't mean

Yeah, so will i.
So, listen, ladies, I don't mean
this to sound like a come-on

So, listen, ladies, I don't mean
this to sound like a come-on
line, but does anyone here want

This to sound like a come-on
line, but does anyone here want
to have sex?

Line, but does anyone here want
to have sex?
No!

To have sex?
No!
I beg your pardon?

No!
I beg your pardon?
Can you believe that guys

I beg your pardon?
Can you believe that guys
used to use lines like that

Can you believe that guys
used to use lines like that
before women's lib?

Used to use lines like that
before women's lib?
Women's lib?

Before women's lib?
Women's lib?
Yeah, the movement.

Women's lib?
Yeah, the movement.
Excuse me.

Yeah, the movement.
Excuse me.
We're trying to have a little

Excuse me.
We're trying to have a little
reunion, just us old friends,

We're trying to have a little
reunion, just us old friends,
okay?

Reunion, just us old friends,
okay?
Oh.

Okay?
Oh.
It's my cabbage head, isn't it?

Oh.
It's my cabbage head, isn't it?
This bothers me -- a guy has an

It's my cabbage head, isn't it?
This bothers me -- a guy has an
english accent, you're all wet.

This bothers me -- a guy has an
english accent, you're all wet.
You're a lake.

English accent, you're all wet.
You're a lake.
But a guy's got a little green

You're a lake.
But a guy's got a little green
on his shoulders, and you puke.

But a guy's got a little green
on his shoulders, and you puke.
That's sexual discrimination.

On his shoulders, and you puke.
That's sexual discrimination.
That's not it at all, all

That's sexual discrimination.
That's not it at all, all
right?

That's not it at all, all
right?
Look, would you just leave?

Right?
Look, would you just leave?
Yes, please.

Look, would you just leave?
Yes, please.
Would you mind going away?

Yes, please.
Would you mind going away?
Okay, I'll go.

Would you mind going away?
Okay, I'll go.
[ Imitating crying ]

Okay, I'll go.
[ Imitating crying ]
I just remembered that when I

[ Imitating crying ]
I just remembered that when I
was a kid, I ordered some sea

I just remembered that when I
was a kid, I ordered some sea
monkeys to love me, and they

Was a kid, I ordered some sea
monkeys to love me, and they
never arrived.

Monkeys to love me, and they
never arrived.
Yeah, and?

Never arrived.
Yeah, and?
Therefore I had a bad

Yeah, and?
Therefore I had a bad
childhood, comprendez vous?

Therefore I had a bad
childhood, comprendez vous?
Who didn't?

Childhood, comprendez vous?
Who didn't?
That's how childhoods work.

Who didn't?
That's how childhoods work.
Wow, she's good.

That's how childhoods work.
Wow, she's good.
So...

Wow, she's good.
So...
I'm a lesbian.

So...
I'm a lesbian.
Can I watch?

I'm a lesbian.
Can I watch?
No.

Can I watch?
No.
Strike two.

No.
Strike two.
Listen, cinderella...

Strike two.
Listen, cinderella...
So, what do you got?

Listen, cinderella...
So, what do you got?
Er, I've got a boogie van.

So, what do you got?
Er, I've got a boogie van.
No, no, no, no.

Er, I've got a boogie van.
No, no, no, no.
I mean down below.

No, no, no, no.
I mean down below.
What are you packing?

I mean down below.
What are you packing?
What do you got?

What are you packing?
What do you got?
Emily. Emily.

What do you got?
Emily. Emily.
Come on.

Emily. Emily.
Come on.
Come on. Tell me, huh?

Come on.
Come on. Tell me, huh?
Like that?

Come on. Tell me, huh?
Like that?
Just tell me when to stop.

Like that?
Just tell me when to stop.
Come on.

Just tell me when to stop.
Come on.
Oh, look, not even average.

Come on.
Oh, look, not even average.
Ooh, this isn't fun anymore.

Oh, look, not even average.
Ooh, this isn't fun anymore.
No, keep going.

Ooh, this isn't fun anymore.
No, keep going.
Honesty's important.

No, keep going.
Honesty's important.
There! Stop!

Honesty's important.
There! Stop!
It's not a cucumber.

There! Stop!
It's not a cucumber.
It's a gherkin.

It's not a cucumber.
It's a gherkin.
I'm so embarrassed.

It's a gherkin.
I'm so embarrassed.
[ Crying ]

I'm so embarrassed.
[ Crying ]
don't feel sad.

[ Crying ]
don't feel sad.
No, I feel so inadequate.

Don't feel sad.
No, I feel so inadequate.
Oh, stop it.

No, I feel so inadequate.
Oh, stop it.
There's other ways to judge men,

Oh, stop it.
There's other ways to judge men,
you know.

There's other ways to judge men,
you know.
Like what's in their cabbage

You know.
Like what's in their cabbage
head?

Like what's in their cabbage
head?
Yes.

Head?
Yes.
Is it possible to stay and

Yes.
Is it possible to stay and
listen to you fine foxes get

Is it possible to stay and
listen to you fine foxes get
drunk?

Listen to you fine foxes get
drunk?
Well...

Drunk?
Well...
We're just trying to have...

Well...
We're just trying to have...
[ Groans ]

We're just trying to have...
[ Groans ]
all right.

[ Groans ]
all right.
Two out, bottom of the ninth,

All right.
Two out, bottom of the ninth,
the old midget play.

Two out, bottom of the ninth,
the old midget play.
So, listen, tell me about those

The old midget play.
So, listen, tell me about those
other ways to please a woman.

So, listen, tell me about those
other ways to please a woman.
Cunigullus...

Well, uh, I wanted the

Well, uh, I wanted the
nanny back.

Well, uh, I wanted the
nanny back.
I don't know.

Nanny back.
I don't know.
I just think it would be good.

I don't know.
I just think it would be good.
Hold on.

I just think it would be good.
Hold on.
You wanted to see me, sir?

Hold on.
You wanted to see me, sir?
Chris, chris, buddy.

You wanted to see me, sir?
Chris, chris, buddy.
I'm on the phone, okay?

Chris, chris, buddy.
I'm on the phone, okay?
Have a seat.

I'm on the phone, okay?
Have a seat.
Okay.

Have a seat.
Okay.
Yeah, you still there?

Okay.
Yeah, you still there?
Yeah, well, I'm just about to

Yeah, you still there?
Yeah, well, I'm just about to
fire chris.

Yeah, well, I'm just about to
fire chris.
About minutes, unless he

Fire chris.
About minutes, unless he
cries.

About minutes, unless he
cries.
No, I don't think he'd want to

Cries.
No, I don't think he'd want to
come over for dinner.

No, I don't think he'd want to
come over for dinner.
Well, would you?

Come over for dinner.
Well, would you?
Okay, okay, okay, okay, I'll ask

Well, would you?
Okay, okay, okay, okay, I'll ask
him.

Okay, okay, okay, okay, I'll ask
him.
Uh, chris, you want to come for

Him.
Uh, chris, you want to come for
dinner?

Uh, chris, you want to come for
dinner?
I guess not, sir.

Dinner?
I guess not, sir.
Nope.

I guess not, sir.
Nope.
Yeah, those potatoes would be

Nope.
Yeah, those potatoes would be
nice.

Yeah, those potatoes would be
nice.
Great!

Nice.
Great!
You're doing great work here.

Great!
You're doing great work here.
Oh, really? I wasn't sure.

You're doing great work here.
Oh, really? I wasn't sure.
Lots of pencils, lots of

Oh, really? I wasn't sure.
Lots of pencils, lots of
pens.

Lots of pencils, lots of
pens.
Hey! I got a new pair of shoes.

Pens.
Hey! I got a new pair of shoes.
You want to see 'em?

Hey! I got a new pair of shoes.
You want to see 'em?
I guess so.

You want to see 'em?
I guess so.
You know, it's a big city out

I guess so.
You know, it's a big city out
there.

You know, it's a big city out
there.
Lots of opportunity.

There.
Lots of opportunity.
Man, oh, man.

Lots of opportunity.
Man, oh, man.
People coming, people going, me

Man, oh, man.
People coming, people going, me
with my new shoes.

People coming, people going, me
with my new shoes.
What's it all about?

With my new shoes.
What's it all about?
I understand, sir.

What's it all about?
I understand, sir.
I'll clean out my desk by

I understand, sir.
I'll clean out my desk by
friday.

I'll clean out my desk by
friday.
What? You're leaving us?

Friday.
What? You're leaving us?
Not unless you w--

What? You're leaving us?
Not unless you w--
hold it right there.

Not unless you w--
hold it right there.
Honey, I gotta get back to ya.

Hold it right there.
Honey, I gotta get back to ya.
Chris just dropped a bombshell

Honey, I gotta get back to ya.
Chris just dropped a bombshell
on me.

Chris just dropped a bombshell
on me.
I can stay if you want, sir.

On me.
I can stay if you want, sir.
No, I'm not gonna talk you

I can stay if you want, sir.
No, I'm not gonna talk you
out of this.

No, I'm not gonna talk you
out of this.
Will you say goodbye to my wife?

Out of this.
Will you say goodbye to my wife?
She always liked you.

Will you say goodbye to my wife?
She always liked you.
Ooh, I'm bad!

She always liked you.
Ooh, I'm bad!
Hello? Yes, he fired me.

Ooh, I'm bad!
Hello? Yes, he fired me.
He did it pretty well, I guess.

Hi. My name is george.

Hi. My name is george.
I'm a loner.

Hi. My name is george.
I'm a loner.
Uh, meaning I live alone and I

I'm a loner.
Uh, meaning I live alone and I
don't have any friends.

Uh, meaning I live alone and I
don't have any friends.
[ Cheers and applause ]

Don't have any friends.
[ Cheers and applause ]
no. No. No, please.

[ Cheers and applause ]
no. No. No, please.
No applause.

No. No. No, please.
No applause.
It's not that great a gig.

No applause.
It's not that great a gig.
Although lately, things have

It's not that great a gig.
Although lately, things have
been looking up.

Although lately, things have
been looking up.
It all started the other day,

Been looking up.
It all started the other day,
uh, when I was getting out of

It all started the other day,
uh, when I was getting out of
bed and I stubbed my toe.

Uh, when I was getting out of
bed and I stubbed my toe.
Uhh, I didn't really think too

Bed and I stubbed my toe.
Uhh, I didn't really think too
much of it at the time, 'cause I

Uhh, I didn't really think too
much of it at the time, 'cause I
was drunk.

Much of it at the time, 'cause I
was drunk.
I-i get drunk alone a lot, uh,

Was drunk.
I-i get drunk alone a lot, uh,
'cause I'm a loner, and I always

I-i get drunk alone a lot, uh,
'cause I'm a loner, and I always
drink alone!

'Cause I'm a loner, and I always
drink alone!
Ha ha.

Drink alone!
Ha ha.
Anywho, anywho, when I got home

Ha ha.
Anywho, anywho, when I got home
that night, I noticed that the

Anywho, anywho, when I got home
that night, I noticed that the
toe had all, like, swollen up.

That night, I noticed that the
toe had all, like, swollen up.
And it seemed sort of bent to

Toe had all, like, swollen up.
And it seemed sort of bent to
one side, and you could tell

And it seemed sort of bent to
one side, and you could tell
there was a little bit of pus in

One side, and you could tell
there was a little bit of pus in
there.

There was a little bit of pus in
there.
Now, I suppose if I had friends,

There.
Now, I suppose if I had friends,
uhhhhh, but I don't, they would

Now, I suppose if I had friends,
uhhhhh, but I don't, they would
have said something like, "hey,

Uhhhhh, but I don't, they would
have said something like, "hey,
george, you should go to a

Have said something like, "hey,
george, you should go to a
hospital, or see a doctor.

George, you should go to a
hospital, or see a doctor.
That looks pretty serious."

Hospital, or see a doctor.
That looks pretty serious."
But I don't have any friends.

That looks pretty serious."
But I don't have any friends.
And, um, as it is, I'm

But I don't have any friends.
And, um, as it is, I'm
fascinated by the process here!

And, um, as it is, I'm
fascinated by the process here!
I mean, a couple of days ago, it

Fascinated by the process here!
I mean, a couple of days ago, it
changed from a redy-purpley to

I mean, a couple of days ago, it
changed from a redy-purpley to
sort of greeny-purpley and the

Changed from a redy-purpley to
sort of greeny-purpley and the
foot started swelling up.

Sort of greeny-purpley and the
foot started swelling up.
And then get this -- a couple of

Foot started swelling up.
And then get this -- a couple of
days ago, the whole leg went

And then get this -- a couple of
days ago, the whole leg went
numb, right below the knee.

Days ago, the whole leg went
numb, right below the knee.
Check this out!

Numb, right below the knee.
Check this out!
I can stick a fork in it.

Check this out!
I can stick a fork in it.
I don't feel a thing.

I can stick a fork in it.
I don't feel a thing.
Now that is interesting.

I don't feel a thing.
Now that is interesting.
Am I wrong?!

Now that is interesting.
Am I wrong?!
Uhh, I don't know.

Am I wrong?!
Uhh, I don't know.
Uhhhhhhh, I mean, maybe I should

Uhh, I don't know.
Uhhhhhhh, I mean, maybe I should
cut it off, but I'm not sure.

Well, bellamy, this is your

Well, bellamy, this is your
office, huh?

Well, bellamy, this is your
office, huh?
Wow.

Office, huh?
Wow.
Step in. Come on.

Wow.
Step in. Come on.
What do you think?

Step in. Come on.
What do you think?
You got your own chair there.

What do you think?
You got your own chair there.
You got your own desk, your own

You got your own chair there.
You got your own desk, your own
telephone -- ingoing, outgoing

You got your own desk, your own
telephone -- ingoing, outgoing
calls, it's up to you.

Telephone -- ingoing, outgoing
calls, it's up to you.
Tape.

Calls, it's up to you.
Tape.
Tape -- sticky one side, not

Tape.
Tape -- sticky one side, not
on the other.

Tape -- sticky one side, not
on the other.
And you have a window for gazing

On the other.
And you have a window for gazing
out of.

And you have a window for gazing
out of.
Wow. It's everything I hoped

Out of.
Wow. It's everything I hoped
it would be.

Wow. It's everything I hoped
it would be.
And if you should need it,

It would be.
And if you should need it,
down that hall you'll find

And if you should need it,
down that hall you'll find
coffee.

Down that hall you'll find
coffee.
And every monday, the company

Coffee.
And every monday, the company
springs for doughnuts.

And every monday, the company
springs for doughnuts.
Sort of a launching pad for a

Springs for doughnuts.
Sort of a launching pad for a
good work week.

Sort of a launching pad for a
good work week.
Well, welcome aboard.

Good work week.
Well, welcome aboard.
I just want you to know it's a

Well, welcome aboard.
I just want you to know it's a
real team here, and it's not

I just want you to know it's a
real team here, and it's not
working out.

Real team here, and it's not
working out.
What?

Working out.
What?
You see, bellamy, you're just

What?
You see, bellamy, you're just
not doing well enough.

You see, bellamy, you're just
not doing well enough.
But I've only been here

Not doing well enough.
But I've only been here
five minutes.

But I've only been here
five minutes.
My hands are tied, though.

Five minutes.
My hands are tied, though.
I'm sorry.

My hands are tied, though.
I'm sorry.
Oh! I almost forgot.

I'm sorry.
Oh! I almost forgot.
Here's your security pass, which

Oh! I almost forgot.
Here's your security pass, which
you'll have to return to me

Here's your security pass, which
you'll have to return to me
immediately.

You'll have to return to me
immediately.
Thanks, bellamy.

Immediately.
Thanks, bellamy.
Welcome aboard.

Thanks, bellamy.
Welcome aboard.
You'll really be missed.

Welcome aboard.
You'll really be missed.
Bastards, man!

You'll really be missed.
Bastards, man!
I can't believe they let you

Bastards, man!
I can't believe they let you
go.

I can't believe they let you
go.
We just heard.

Go.
We just heard.
Hi, I'm terry, pr department.

We just heard.
Hi, I'm terry, pr department.
How are you?

Hi, I'm terry, pr department.
How are you?
I'm sandy, accounting.

How are you?
I'm sandy, accounting.
Hi, I'm chris bellamy.

I'm sandy, accounting.
Hi, I'm chris bellamy.
Man!

Hi, I'm chris bellamy.
Man!
They just don't get it here.

Man!
They just don't get it here.
They just don't get it.

They just don't get it here.
They just don't get it.
Take some time off, chris.

They just don't get it.
Take some time off, chris.
Thanks, nice meeting you.

Take some time off, chris.
Thanks, nice meeting you.
Hey, don't lose hope.

Thanks, nice meeting you.
Hey, don't lose hope.
I knew he'd get it.

Hey, don't lose hope.
I knew he'd get it.
Better him than us.

I knew he'd get it.
Better him than us.
Yeah.

Good evening and welcome to

Good evening and welcome to
the pit of ultimate darkness.

Good evening and welcome to
the pit of ultimate darkness.
Hello, I am your host,

The pit of ultimate darkness.
Hello, I am your host,
sir simon milligan.

Hello, I am your host,
sir simon milligan.
For those of you without a brave

Sir simon milligan.
For those of you without a brave
heart, get up, go to your

For those of you without a brave
heart, get up, go to your
television sets, and turn the

Heart, get up, go to your
television sets, and turn the
station.

Television sets, and turn the
station.
Go ahead.

Station.
Go ahead.
Exercise your right to be a

Go ahead.
Exercise your right to be a
coward.

Exercise your right to be a
coward.
Now, for those of you with a

Coward.
Now, for those of you with a
brave heart and for those of you

Now, for those of you with a
brave heart and for those of you
who have stayed, look into my

Brave heart and for those of you
who have stayed, look into my
face and know to look into my

Who have stayed, look into my
face and know to look into my
face is to look into the face of

Face and know to look into my
face is to look into the face of
evil.

Face is to look into the face of
evil.
Yes, I am a man possessed by

Evil.
Yes, I am a man possessed by
many demons --

Yes, I am a man possessed by
many demons --
polite demons that would open a

Many demons --
polite demons that would open a
door for a lady carrying too

Polite demons that would open a
door for a lady carrying too
many parcels, but demons

Door for a lady carrying too
many parcels, but demons
nonetheless!

Many parcels, but demons
nonetheless!
Yes, I have walked along the

Nonetheless!
Yes, I have walked along the
path of evil many times.

Yes, I have walked along the
path of evil many times.
It's a twisting, curving path

Path of evil many times.
It's a twisting, curving path
that actually leads to a

It's a twisting, curving path
that actually leads to a
charming block garden, but

That actually leads to a
charming block garden, but
beyond that evil!

Charming block garden, but
beyond that evil!
And now I would like to bring on

Beyond that evil!
And now I would like to bring on
one who could be the spawn of

And now I would like to bring on
one who could be the spawn of
satan himself -- manservant

One who could be the spawn of
satan himself -- manservant
hecubus.

Satan himself -- manservant
hecubus.
Good evening, hecubus.

Hecubus.
Good evening, hecubus.
Are you ready?

Good evening, hecubus.
Are you ready?
I am ready to serve you,

Are you ready?
I am ready to serve you,
master...and satan!

I am ready to serve you,
master...and satan!
Good.

Master...and satan!
Good.
Then let the proof of evil

Good.
Then let the proof of evil
begin.

Then let the proof of evil
begin.
Hecubus, pick a card, pick any

Begin.
Hecubus, pick a card, pick any
card.

Hecubus, pick a card, pick any
card.
No.

Card.
No.
Pardon?

No.
Pardon?
No.

Pardon?
No.
Evil! Evil!

No.
Evil! Evil!
Impolite and evil!

Evil! Evil!
Impolite and evil!
Hecubus, have you seen the movie

Impolite and evil!
Hecubus, have you seen the movie
"presumed innocent"?

Hecubus, have you seen the movie
"presumed innocent"?
Yes, I have, master, and his

"Presumed innocent"?
Yes, I have, master, and his
wife k*lled her.

Yes, I have, master, and his
wife k*lled her.
But, hecubus, I haven't seen

Wife k*lled her.
But, hecubus, I haven't seen
the movie yet.

But, hecubus, I haven't seen
the movie yet.
Evil! Evil!

The movie yet.
Evil! Evil!
It is now time for the sleep of

Evil! Evil!
It is now time for the sleep of
ages.

It is now time for the sleep of
ages.
Sava lava cuti.

Ages.
Sava lava cuti.
Hecubus, can you hear me?

Sava lava cuti.
Hecubus, can you hear me?
Yes, master.

Hecubus, can you hear me?
Yes, master.
If hecubus is sleeping, how

Yes, master.
If hecubus is sleeping, how
can he hear me?

If hecubus is sleeping, how
can he hear me?
Maybe because he's lying?

Can he hear me?
Maybe because he's lying?
Dirty, dirty liar!

Maybe because he's lying?
Dirty, dirty liar!
Evil, evil white boy!

Dirty, dirty liar!
Evil, evil white boy!
He lied, he lied, he lied!

Evil, evil white boy!
He lied, he lied, he lied!
He lied, he lied, he lied, he

He lied, he lied, he lied!
He lied, he lied, he lied, he
lied!

He lied, he lied, he lied, he
lied!
Remember, people, do not fear

Lied!
Remember, people, do not fear
the evil that surrounds you.

Remember, people, do not fear
the evil that surrounds you.
Do not avoid the hounds of hell.

The evil that surrounds you.
Do not avoid the hounds of hell.
Do not avoid the beasts of

Do not avoid the hounds of hell.
Do not avoid the beasts of
brimstone.

Do not avoid the beasts of
brimstone.
Do not avoid the puppies of

Brimstone.
Do not avoid the puppies of
purgatory.

Do not avoid the puppies of
purgatory.
You must always embrace the

Purgatory.
You must always embrace the
hellfire, hellfire, hellfire.

You must always embrace the
hellfire, hellfire, hellfire.
Thank you. Good night.

Hellfire, hellfire, hellfire.
Thank you. Good night.
If you haven't already, please

Thank you. Good night.
If you haven't already, please
call your mom.

If you haven't already, please
call your mom.
Terrific! Great!

Call your mom.
Terrific! Great!
Great stuff.

Terrific! Great!
Great stuff.
At last, a show for me.

Great stuff.
At last, a show for me.
A show that speaks to me.

At last, a show for me.
A show that speaks to me.
That was great.

A show that speaks to me.
That was great.
Oh, "golden girls."

I don't know.

I don't know.
It's hard to tell.

I don't know.
It's hard to tell.
Yeah.

It's hard to tell.
Yeah.
Uhh...number two?

Yeah.
Uhh...number two?
Yeah, yeah, definitely number

Uhh...number two?
Yeah, yeah, definitely number
two.

Yeah, yeah, definitely number
two.
Oh, yeah, it's definitely number

Two.
Oh, yeah, it's definitely number
two.

Oh, yeah, it's definitely number
two.
Number two?

Two.
Number two?
You're fired!

Number two?
You're fired!
Clean out your desk.

You're fired!
Clean out your desk.
Sorry, our hands are tied.

[ With lisp ] ever since I

[ With lisp ] ever since I
quit smoking, I've had a renewed

[ With lisp ] ever since I
quit smoking, I've had a renewed
interest in athletics.

Quit smoking, I've had a renewed
interest in athletics.
Well, athletes.

Interest in athletics.
Well, athletes.
That's why when my friend opal

Well, athletes.
That's why when my friend opal
asked me if I would -- asked me

That's why when my friend opal
asked me if I would -- asked me
if I would manage her lesbian

Asked me if I would -- asked me
if I would manage her lesbian
softball team while she was away

If I would manage her lesbian
softball team while she was away
fighting in the gulf -- she's a

Softball team while she was away
fighting in the gulf -- she's a
sailor -- I said yes.

Fighting in the gulf -- she's a
sailor -- I said yes.
But I made it completely clear

Sailor -- I said yes.
But I made it completely clear
to opal and the rest of the

But I made it completely clear
to opal and the rest of the
girls that when I say "manage,"

To opal and the rest of the
girls that when I say "manage,"
I mean the whole ball of wax.

Girls that when I say "manage,"
I mean the whole ball of wax.
That means pitching, catching,

I mean the whole ball of wax.
That means pitching, catching,
running, hair, wardrobe,

That means pitching, catching,
running, hair, wardrobe,
attitude...

Running, hair, wardrobe,
attitude...
This was my design for the team

Attitude...
This was my design for the team
uniform, but the women said it

This was my design for the team
uniform, but the women said it
was too -- get ready for this --

Uniform, but the women said it
was too -- get ready for this --
girly.

Was too -- get ready for this --
girly.
As if anything can be.

Girly.
As if anything can be.
Oh, well, to be unappreciated in

As if anything can be.
Oh, well, to be unappreciated in
one's own lifetime.

Oh, well, to be unappreciated in
one's own lifetime.
So, even though our uniforms

One's own lifetime.
So, even though our uniforms
were drab, at least the game

So, even though our uniforms
were drab, at least the game
proved to be exciting.

Were drab, at least the game
proved to be exciting.
In fact, it proved to be

Proved to be exciting.
In fact, it proved to be
positively fiiiiiilmiiiiic.

In fact, it proved to be
positively fiiiiiilmiiiiic.
For the first eight innings, it

Positively fiiiiiilmiiiiic.
For the first eight innings, it
seemed hopeless.

For the first eight innings, it
seemed hopeless.
Then, all of a sudden, bang,

Seemed hopeless.
Then, all of a sudden, bang,
bang, bang!

Then, all of a sudden, bang,
bang, bang!
The bases were loaded, and our

Bang, bang!
The bases were loaded, and our
batter already had two strikes

The bases were loaded, and our
batter already had two strikes
against her.

Batter already had two strikes
against her.
What next?

Against her.
What next?
Come on, patty!

What next?
Come on, patty!
Hit that round, white, leathery

Come on, patty!
Hit that round, white, leathery
thing all the way to the great

Hit that round, white, leathery
thing all the way to the great
white way!

Thing all the way to the great
white way!
Then just run the bases and

White way!
Then just run the bases and
don't make a big to-do about it.

Then just run the bases and
don't make a big to-do about it.
Come on, patty.

Don't make a big to-do about it.
Come on, patty.
Let's play ball!

Come on, patty.
Let's play ball!
Strike three! You're out!

Let's play ball!
Strike three! You're out!
What do you mean, a strike?

Strike three! You're out!
What do you mean, a strike?
Let's go, shona!

What do you mean, a strike?
Let's go, shona!
Come on, tiger!

Let's go, shona!
Come on, tiger!
Let's show them who's boss!

Come on, tiger!
Let's show them who's boss!
Yeah! Okay, shona, this reminds

Let's show them who's boss!
Yeah! Okay, shona, this reminds
me of the time that coco chanel

Yeah! Okay, shona, this reminds
me of the time that coco chanel
and I had this huge disagreement

Me of the time that coco chanel
and I had this huge disagreement
over what to wear to de gaulle's

And I had this huge disagreement
over what to wear to de gaulle's
funeral.

Over what to wear to de gaulle's
funeral.
And I said, "I'm not even

Funeral.
And I said, "I'm not even
going."

And I said, "I'm not even
going."
And she said, "you're gonna --"

Going."
And she said, "you're gonna --"
buddy, not now.

And she said, "you're gonna --"
buddy, not now.
I'm trying to concentrate.

Buddy, not now.
I'm trying to concentrate.
Well, excuse me for

I'm trying to concentrate.
Well, excuse me for
coaching.

Well, excuse me for
coaching.
Pitcher's got a rubber wrist.

Coaching.
Pitcher's got a rubber wrist.
Come on.

Pitcher's got a rubber wrist.
Come on.
[ Indistinct cheering ]

Come on.
[ Indistinct cheering ]
yeah, have an eye!

[ Indistinct cheering ]
yeah, have an eye!
Strike one!

Yeah, have an eye!
Strike one!
Strike two!

Strike one!
Strike two!
Strike three, you're out!

Strike two!
Strike three, you're out!
[ Screams ]

Strike three, you're out!
[ Screams ]
martini?

[ Screams ]
martini?
Get off my back, buddy.

Martini?
Get off my back, buddy.
That one's got a chip on her

Get off my back, buddy.
That one's got a chip on her
shoulder the size of yankee

That one's got a chip on her
shoulder the size of yankee
stadium.

Shoulder the size of yankee
stadium.
Okay, let's see.

Stadium.
Okay, let's see.
Who's up to bat?

Okay, let's see.
Who's up to bat?
Looks like it's...sylvia!

Who's up to bat?
Looks like it's...sylvia!
Okay, sylvia.

Looks like it's...sylvia!
Okay, sylvia.
It's time for me to strike

Okay, sylvia.
It's time for me to strike
out and lose the game for

It's time for me to strike
out and lose the game for
everyone.

Out and lose the game for
everyone.
Let's go, tiger!

Two down, bottom of the ninth,

Two down, bottom of the ninth,
bases are loaded.

Two down, bottom of the ninth,
bases are loaded.
God, I love clichés.

Bases are loaded.
God, I love clichés.
Hang on, sylvia!

God, I love clichés.
Hang on, sylvia!
Give me that stick!

Hang on, sylvia!
Give me that stick!
But you're a man!

Give me that stick!
But you're a man!
Labels.

Ready.

Ready.
Strike one!

Ready.
Strike one!
It had attitude.

Strike one!
It had attitude.
[ Indistinct cheering ]

It had attitude.
[ Indistinct cheering ]
strike two!

[ Indistinct cheering ]
strike two!
I was thinking of something

Strike two!
I was thinking of something
else.

[ Cheering ]

[ Cheering ]
touchdown!

[ Cheering ]
touchdown!
Hold this. I'll be back.

Touchdown!
Hold this. I'll be back.
First.

Hold this. I'll be back.
First.
Ta-da!

First.
Ta-da!
Thanks.

Ta-da!
Thanks.
There's no place like home.

Thanks.
There's no place like home.
I couldn't believe it, buddy.

There's no place like home.
I couldn't believe it, buddy.
I've never seen anyone hit a

I couldn't believe it, buddy.
I've never seen anyone hit a
ball like that before.

I've never seen anyone hit a
ball like that before.
Ah, it wasn't so great.

Ball like that before.
Ah, it wasn't so great.
You were lucky.

Ah, it wasn't so great.
You were lucky.
Oh. Look, girls!

You were lucky.
Oh. Look, girls!
[ All screaming ]

Oh. Look, girls!
[ All screaming ]
my god.

[ All screaming ]
my god.
Gee, thanks, buddy.

My god.
Gee, thanks, buddy.
That could've been nasty.

Gee, thanks, buddy.
That could've been nasty.
This ball's been around more

That could've been nasty.
This ball's been around more
than I have.

This ball's been around more
than I have.
Stick with me, girls.

Than I have.
Stick with me, girls.
We're going all the way to the

Stick with me, girls.
We're going all the way to the
[ french accent ] pendant!

We're going all the way to the
[ french accent ] pendant!
To sappho's sluggers!