Guess your weight.
Guess your weight.
Guess your weight for $ .
Guess your weight.
Guess your weight for $ .
Guess your weight within five
Guess your weight for $ .
Guess your weight within five
pounds, or you win a prize.
Guess your weight within five
pounds, or you win a prize.
Guess your weight.
Pounds, or you win a prize.
Guess your weight.
Okay, I'll give it a try.
Guess your weight.
Okay, I'll give it a try.
All right, step right on up,
Okay, I'll give it a try.
All right, step right on up,
sir.
All right, step right on up,
sir.
All right, now let's have a look
Sir.
All right, now let's have a look
at you.
All right, now let's have a look
at you.
Let me just size you up here for
At you.
Let me just size you up here for
a minute.
Let me just size you up here for
a minute.
Well, I'd say, uh, you're the
A minute.
Well, I'd say, uh, you're the
kind of guy with no real strong
Well, I'd say, uh, you're the
kind of guy with no real strong
opinions.
Kind of guy with no real strong
opinions.
Yeah, I guess you could say
Opinions.
Yeah, I guess you could say
that.
Yeah, I guess you could say
that.
Sort of guy with no strength
That.
Sort of guy with no strength
of character.
Sort of guy with no strength
of character.
Yeah, a guy that'd sell out his
Of character.
Yeah, a guy that'd sell out his
best friend pretty quickly for
Yeah, a guy that'd sell out his
best friend pretty quickly for
his own advantage.
Best friend pretty quickly for
his own advantage.
Yeah, I guess I give that
His own advantage.
Yeah, I guess I give that
impression, sure.
Yeah, I guess I give that
impression, sure.
I'd say that you could
Impression, sure.
I'd say that you could
probably never maintain any kind
I'd say that you could
probably never maintain any kind
of a meaningful relationship.
Probably never maintain any kind
of a meaningful relationship.
Well, you're good.
Of a meaningful relationship.
Well, you're good.
He's good!
Well, you're good.
He's good!
I mean, if you were to have
He's good!
I mean, if you were to have
kids, you'd probably screw them
I mean, if you were to have
kids, you'd probably screw them
up pretty badly.
Kids, you'd probably screw them
up pretty badly.
I do have a son in prison,
Up pretty badly.
I do have a son in prison,
yes.
I do have a son in prison,
yes.
I'd have to say you'd
Yes.
I'd have to say you'd
probably be better off set
I'd have to say you'd
probably be better off set
adrift on an ice floe.
Probably be better off set
adrift on an ice floe.
My god, it's true.
Adrift on an ice floe.
My god, it's true.
It's so true!
My god, it's true.
It's so true!
All in all, I'd guess you're
It's so true!
All in all, I'd guess you're
about pounds.
All in all, I'd guess you're
about pounds.
?
About pounds.
?
Yep.
?
Yep.
Ha! Ha!
Yep.
Ha! Ha!
Wrong!
Ha! Ha!
Wrong!
!
Wrong!
!
? Ha! Wrong!
!
? Ha! Wrong!
I'll just take the bunny.
? Ha! Wrong!
I'll just take the bunny.
?
I'll just take the bunny.
?
You're wrong!
?
You're wrong!
I got the bunny!
You're wrong!
I got the bunny!
Whoo!
I got the bunny!
Whoo!
I got the bunny!
Whoo!
I got the bunny!
Whoo!
I got the bunny!
Whoo!
You got the wrong.
Whoo!
You got the wrong.
I got the bunny.
You got the wrong.
I got the bunny.
Whoo!
I got the bunny.
Whoo!
I got the bunny!
Whoo!
I got the bunny!
Guess your weight.
I got the bunny!
Guess your weight.
Guess your weight for $ .
♪ Gonna be all right ♪
♪ Gonna be all right ♪
♪ gonna be tonight ♪
♪ Gonna be all right ♪
♪ gonna be tonight ♪
♪ gonna be all right ♪
♪ Gonna be tonight ♪
♪ gonna be all right ♪
♪ gonna be tonight ♪
♪ Gonna be all right ♪
♪ gonna be tonight ♪
[ doorbell buzzes ]
♪ Gonna be tonight ♪
[ doorbell buzzes ]
♪ gonna be all right ♪
[ Doorbell buzzes ]
♪ gonna be all right ♪
hello, bradley.
♪ Gonna be all right ♪
hello, bradley.
How are you?
Hello, bradley.
How are you?
I'm fine, nina.
How are you?
I'm fine, nina.
How are you?
I'm fine, nina.
How are you?
Hi, I'm fine.
How are you?
Hi, I'm fine.
And how are you?
Hi, I'm fine.
And how are you?
I mean, come in, come in!
And how are you?
I mean, come in, come in!
Please.
I mean, come in, come in!
Please.
You look nice tonight, nina.
Please.
You look nice tonight, nina.
Oh, you look nice as well,
You look nice tonight, nina.
Oh, you look nice as well,
bradley.
Oh, you look nice as well,
bradley.
Well, I just came from work.
Bradley.
Well, I just came from work.
Oh, well...work must be good
Well, I just came from work.
Oh, well...work must be good
to you.
Oh, well...work must be good
to you.
Boy, what a great place you
To you.
Boy, what a great place you
got here, nina.
Boy, what a great place you
got here, nina.
Oh, do you really like it?
Got here, nina.
Oh, do you really like it?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, do you really like it?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, good, good.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, good, good.
I really like that thing.
Oh, good, good.
I really like that thing.
Oh, oh, it's funny you should
I really like that thing.
Oh, oh, it's funny you should
pick that out.
Oh, oh, it's funny you should
pick that out.
That's very precious to me.
Pick that out.
That's very precious to me.
They found that very near my
That's very precious to me.
They found that very near my
grandmother's head when she
They found that very near my
grandmother's head when she
died.
Grandmother's head when she
died.
Uh, so, bradley, did you have
Died.
Uh, so, bradley, did you have
anything in particular that you
Uh, so, bradley, did you have
anything in particular that you
were thinking of doing on our
Anything in particular that you
were thinking of doing on our
date this evening?
Were thinking of doing on our
date this evening?
I didn't know it was a date,
Date this evening?
I didn't know it was a date,
exactly.
I didn't know it was a date,
exactly.
Oh, god, I'm sorry!
Exactly.
Oh, god, I'm sorry!
I didn't mean to put --
Oh, god, I'm sorry!
I didn't mean to put --
no, no, nina, nina, nina,
I didn't mean to put --
no, no, nina, nina, nina,
nina, that's all right.
No, no, nina, nina, nina,
nina, that's all right.
Nina, that's okay.
Nina, that's all right.
Nina, that's okay.
That's okay.
Nina, that's okay.
That's okay.
I'm sorry.
That's okay.
I'm sorry.
No pressure.
I'm sorry.
No pressure.
I thought maybe we could go
No pressure.
I thought maybe we could go
out for drinks.
I thought maybe we could go
out for drinks.
We could go out to a movie, go
Out for drinks.
We could go out to a movie, go
out for dinner, and then, I
We could go out to a movie, go
out for dinner, and then, I
don't know, maybe come back here
Out for dinner, and then, I
don't know, maybe come back here
later.
Don't know, maybe come back here
later.
Okay, sure.
Later.
Okay, sure.
So would you like to go for a
Okay, sure.
So would you like to go for a
drink?
So would you like to go for a
drink?
Oh, would I like to go for a
Drink?
Oh, would I like to go for a
drink?
Oh, would I like to go for a
drink?
Hmm...
Drink?
Hmm...
We don't have to go for
Hmm...
We don't have to go for
drinks.
We don't have to go for
drinks.
Oh, good.
Drinks.
Oh, good.
It's just that I find bars so
Oh, good.
It's just that I find bars so
depressing.
It's just that I find bars so
depressing.
Me too!
Depressing.
Me too!
No, do you really?
Me too!
No, do you really?
Yes!
No, do you really?
Yes!
So why don't we just skip
Yes!
So why don't we just skip
drinks?
So why don't we just skip
drinks?
You know, go out to a nice
Drinks?
You know, go out to a nice
movie.
You know, go out to a nice
movie.
Movie.
Movie.
Movie.
You know, have maybe some
Movie.
You know, have maybe some
dinner.
You know, have maybe some
dinner.
Dinner.
Dinner.
Dinner.
And then...maybe come back
Dinner.
And then...maybe come back
here later.
And then...maybe come back
here later.
Sure, for coffee.
Here later.
Sure, for coffee.
We'll come back for coffee.
Sure, for coffee.
We'll come back for coffee.
Okay.
We'll come back for coffee.
Okay.
Um...so what movie?
Okay.
Um...so what movie?
Lady's choice.
Um...so what movie?
Lady's choice.
Oh, well, thank you for
Lady's choice.
Oh, well, thank you for
lady's choice.
Oh, well, thank you for
lady's choice.
You're welcome.
Lady's choice.
You're welcome.
Oh, what movie -- my choice.
You're welcome.
Oh, what movie -- my choice.
Oh, okay.
Oh, what movie -- my choice.
Oh, okay.
Okay, nina, the heat is on.
Oh, okay.
Okay, nina, the heat is on.
All right, I'm just gonna
Okay, nina, the heat is on.
All right, I'm just gonna
conjure up the entertainment
All right, I'm just gonna
conjure up the entertainment
section of today's paper in my
Conjure up the entertainment
section of today's paper in my
head.
Section of today's paper in my
head.
Uh, okay, I've seen that, I've
Head.
Uh, okay, I've seen that, I've
seen that, I've seen that, I've
Uh, okay, I've seen that, I've
seen that, I've seen that, I've
seen that, I've seen that.
Seen that, I've seen that, I've
seen that, I've seen that.
Bradley, I'm sorry.
Seen that, I've seen that.
Bradley, I'm sorry.
I think I've seen almost all the
Bradley, I'm sorry.
I think I've seen almost all the
movies.
I think I've seen almost all the
movies.
I'm a bit of a movie buff.
Movies.
I'm a bit of a movie buff.
I'm a movie buff!
I'm a bit of a movie buff.
I'm a movie buff!
No!
I'm a movie buff!
No!
Yes!
No!
Yes!
I think colorization is
Yes!
I think colorization is
horrible.
I think colorization is
horrible.
I hate it!
Horrible.
I hate it!
I hate it.
I hate it!
I hate it.
I hate it!
I hate it.
I hate it!
Well, why don't we just skip the
I hate it!
Well, why don't we just skip the
movie.
Well, why don't we just skip the
movie.
You know, we'll go for a nice
Movie.
You know, we'll go for a nice
dinner.
You know, we'll go for a nice
dinner.
Dinner!
Dinner.
Dinner!
And then maybe come back here
Dinner!
And then maybe come back here
later.
And then maybe come back here
later.
For coffee or whatever.
Later.
For coffee or whatever.
So you get your coat.
For coffee or whatever.
So you get your coat.
I'll get the door.
So you get your coat.
I'll get the door.
All right!
I'll get the door.
All right!
Bradley!
All right!
Bradley!
I ate!
Bradley!
I ate!
I ate!
I ate!
I ate!
No, you didn't!
I ate!
No, you didn't!
Yes, I did.
No, you didn't!
Yes, I did.
Wouldn't that have been stupid,
Yes, I did.
Wouldn't that have been stupid,
two of us staring at our food?
Wouldn't that have been stupid,
two of us staring at our food?
Picture that!
Two of us staring at our food?
Picture that!
So why don't we just...i don't
Picture that!
So why don't we just...i don't
know, skip dinner and get
So why don't we just...i don't
know, skip dinner and get
straight to the, uh...
Know, skip dinner and get
straight to the, uh...
Coffee.
Straight to the, uh...
Coffee.
Whatever.
Coffee.
Whatever.
I'll make it.
Whatever.
I'll make it.
I'll wait.
I'll make it.
I'll wait.
Bradley, I don't know if you
I'll wait.
Bradley, I don't know if you
were thinking this, but if you
Bradley, I don't know if you
were thinking this, but if you
were thinking this, it is okay.
Were thinking this, but if you
were thinking this, it is okay.
I was just thinking that maybe
Were thinking this, it is okay.
I was just thinking that maybe
we could skip the coffee and get
I was just thinking that maybe
we could skip the coffee and get
straight to the romance.
We could skip the coffee and get
straight to the romance.
I don't want you to think that
Straight to the romance.
I don't want you to think that
I'm a slut, though, 'cause I'm
I don't want you to think that
I'm a slut, though, 'cause I'm
not.
I'm a slut, though, 'cause I'm
not.
I won't think you're a slut
Not.
I won't think you're a slut
no matter what happens.
I won't think you're a slut
no matter what happens.
Oh.
No matter what happens.
Oh.
Ah.
Oh.
Ah.
Ooh!
Ah.
Ooh!
Oh!
Ooh!
Oh!
Why don't we just skip the
Oh!
Why don't we just skip the
romance and get straight to the
Why don't we just skip the
romance and get straight to the
sex?
Romance and get straight to the
sex?
Aah.
Sex?
Aah.
Bradley!
Aah.
Bradley!
I got a better idea.
Bradley!
I got a better idea.
Why don't we skip the sex and
I got a better idea.
Why don't we skip the sex and
get straight to the guilt?
Oh, are you leaving?
Oh, are you leaving?
Oh, yeah, I got to work in
Oh, are you leaving?
Oh, yeah, I got to work in
the morning.
Oh, yeah, I got to work in
the morning.
Did I mention that?
The morning.
Did I mention that?
I had a wonderful time.
Did I mention that?
I had a wonderful time.
I'll call you this week.
I had a wonderful time.
I'll call you this week.
Maybe we'll go to a movie or
I'll call you this week.
Maybe we'll go to a movie or
something like that.
Maybe we'll go to a movie or
something like that.
It was really great.
Something like that.
It was really great.
Thanks.
It was really great.
Thanks.
Good night.
Thanks.
Good night.
Night.
Good night.
Night.
Oh, and please don't step on
Night.
Oh, and please don't step on
my --
Oh, and please don't step on
my --
[ cat screeches ]
My --
[ cat screeches ]
cat.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Uh, scott and I would just like
Hi.
Uh, scott and I would just like
to say hello to our grade
Uh, scott and I would just like
to say hello to our grade
math teachers.
To say hello to our grade
math teachers.
Hello, mr. Andreychuck.
Math teachers.
Hello, mr. Andreychuck.
Hello, mr. Elsner.
Hello, mr. Andreychuck.
Hello, mr. Elsner.
Uh, sorry that I never tried.
Hello, mr. Elsner.
Uh, sorry that I never tried.
Yeah, we'd just like to
Uh, sorry that I never tried.
Yeah, we'd just like to
apologize for never really
Yeah, we'd just like to
apologize for never really
trying or caring about math or
Apologize for never really
trying or caring about math or
seeing that it could help our
Trying or caring about math or
seeing that it could help our
real life in any way...
Seeing that it could help our
real life in any way...
Shape, or form.
Real life in any way...
Shape, or form.
And for also always being high.
Shape, or form.
And for also always being high.
[ Laughs ]
[ Yelling ]
Aaahhh!
Get him!
This is a dead end, f*g.
This is a dead end, f*g.
f*g!
This is a dead end, f*g.
f*g!
f*g!
f*g!
f*g!
f*g!
f*g!
f*g!
[ Lisping ] so what if he is
f*g!
[ Lisping ] so what if he is
a h*m*?
[ Lisping ] so what if he is
a h*m*?
Whoa.
A h*m*?
Whoa.
[ Hisses ]
Whoa.
[ Hisses ]
it's none of your business,
[ Hisses ]
it's none of your business,
man.
It's none of your business,
man.
We're just gonna take care of
Man.
We're just gonna take care of
this.
We're just gonna take care of
this.
Yeah, it's just a f*g, okay?
This.
Yeah, it's just a f*g, okay?
So butt out.
Yeah, it's just a f*g, okay?
So butt out.
He's a f*g.
So butt out.
He's a f*g.
We're gonna beat him.
He's a f*g.
We're gonna beat him.
What right does that give you
We're gonna beat him.
What right does that give you
to harm another person?
What right does that give you
to harm another person?
Just because his sexual
To harm another person?
Just because his sexual
orientation is different from
Just because his sexual
orientation is different from
yours or mine doesn't mean that
Orientation is different from
yours or mine doesn't mean that
you have the right to hit him.
Yours or mine doesn't mean that
you have the right to hit him.
I myself happen to have several
You have the right to hit him.
I myself happen to have several
friends who happen to be
I myself happen to have several
friends who happen to be
h*m*, and I don't think
Friends who happen to be
h*m*, and I don't think
any less of them for it.
h*m*, and I don't think
any less of them for it.
Unhand him!
Any less of them for it.
Unhand him!
Yeah?
Unhand him!
Yeah?
You want him teaching little
Yeah?
You want him teaching little
kids at school?
You want him teaching little
kids at school?
As a matter of fact I do,
Kids at school?
As a matter of fact I do,
because my friend steven --
As a matter of fact I do,
because my friend steven --
well, he's a traveling
Because my friend steven --
well, he's a traveling
companion, actually.
Well, he's a traveling
companion, actually.
Occasionally we travel --
Companion, actually.
Occasionally we travel --
anyway, he's a social worker,
Occasionally we travel --
anyway, he's a social worker,
and he tells me that child
Anyway, he's a social worker,
and he tells me that child
molestation is predominantly a
And he tells me that child
molestation is predominantly a
heterosexual problem.
Molestation is predominantly a
heterosexual problem.
End of story.
Heterosexual problem.
End of story.
Good night, nurse.
End of story.
Good night, nurse.
Yeah, well, god never
Good night, nurse.
Yeah, well, god never
intended man to have sex with
Yeah, well, god never
intended man to have sex with
another man.
Intended man to have sex with
another man.
Yeah, it's in the bible.
Another man.
Yeah, it's in the bible.
Read the bible.
Yeah, it's in the bible.
Read the bible.
Oh, is the pope with us
Read the bible.
Oh, is the pope with us
today?
Oh, is the pope with us
today?
Is the pope with us today?
Today?
Is the pope with us today?
Could we look around?
Is the pope with us today?
Could we look around?
You're obviously a man of great
Could we look around?
You're obviously a man of great
religious timber out here in the
You're obviously a man of great
religious timber out here in the
streets beating people up.
Religious timber out here in the
streets beating people up.
What church do you go to, the
Streets beating people up.
What church do you go to, the
church of "hey, let's get that
What church do you go to, the
church of "hey, let's get that
guy"?
Church of "hey, let's get that
guy"?
Do you even go to church?
Guy"?
Do you even go to church?
No.
Do you even go to church?
No.
Uh.
No.
Uh.
No, i...
Uh.
No, i...
No, i...
No, i...
No, i...
I'm sorry.
No, i...
I'm sorry.
I didn't hear that.
I'm sorry.
I didn't hear that.
No, I don't go...
I didn't hear that.
No, I don't go...
No, I don't go...
No, I don't go...
No, I don't go...
No, I don't go to...
No, I don't go...
No, I don't go to...
To church.
No, I don't go to...
To church.
Thank you very much.
To church.
Thank you very much.
So don't get all high-minded and
Thank you very much.
So don't get all high-minded and
religious with me.
So don't get all high-minded and
religious with me.
You sure know an awful lot
Religious with me.
You sure know an awful lot
about faggotry.
You sure know an awful lot
about faggotry.
Hey.
About faggotry.
Hey.
Hey, maybe you're a f*g.
Hey.
Hey, maybe you're a f*g.
You!
Hey, maybe you're a f*g.
You!
You are.
You!
You are.
Oh, puh-leeze!
You are.
Oh, puh-leeze!
Sorry.
Oh, puh-leeze!
Sorry.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Thank you.
Sorry.
Thank you.
All right, unhand him.
Thank you.
All right, unhand him.
All right, gather around, thugs.
All right, unhand him.
All right, gather around, thugs.
Listen up, and listen up good.
All right, gather around, thugs.
Listen up, and listen up good.
The only hope for humanity is if
Listen up, and listen up good.
The only hope for humanity is if
we can all live together in --
The only hope for humanity is if
we can all live together in --
and I know this is a cliché --
We can all live together in --
and I know this is a cliché --
but...
And I know this is a cliché --
but...
Brotherly love.
But...
Brotherly love.
All right, now get out of
Brotherly love.
All right, now get out of
here!
All right, now get out of
here!
Get out of the subway.
Here!
Get out of the subway.
Get out of the streets.
Get out of the subway.
Get out of the streets.
Go to your homes and think a
Get out of the streets.
Go to your homes and think a
little bit.
Go to your homes and think a
little bit.
And drop those clubs.
Little bit.
And drop those clubs.
Drop the clubs?
And drop those clubs.
Drop the clubs?
Yes, the clubs.
Drop the clubs?
Yes, the clubs.
You're leaving them here.
Yes, the clubs.
You're leaving them here.
Let them rain down.
You're leaving them here.
Let them rain down.
Let the weapons of oppression
Let them rain down.
Let the weapons of oppression
rain down.
Let the weapons of oppression
rain down.
[ Cheerfully ] good night!
Rain down.
[ Cheerfully ] good night!
Good night.
[ Cheerfully ] good night!
Good night.
Are you all right, citizen?
Good night.
Are you all right, citizen?
Yeah.
Are you all right, citizen?
Yeah.
You know, thanks a lot.
Yeah.
You know, thanks a lot.
Not a lot of straight guys would
You know, thanks a lot.
Not a lot of straight guys would
be so understanding.
Not a lot of straight guys would
be so understanding.
I understand.
Be so understanding.
I understand.
Listen, can I buy you a drink?
I understand.
Listen, can I buy you a drink?
You look shattered.
Listen, can I buy you a drink?
You look shattered.
Oh, gee, I don't know.
You look shattered.
Oh, gee, I don't know.
But I'll tell you what.
Oh, gee, I don't know.
But I'll tell you what.
I've also got tickets to a
But I'll tell you what.
I've also got tickets to a
leafs' game.
I've also got tickets to a
leafs' game.
Would you like --
Leafs' game.
Would you like --
oh, sure!
Would you like --
oh, sure!
Excellent.
[ Monitors beeping ]
[ Monitor beeps ]
[ Monitor beeps ]
who did this to me?
[ Monitor beeps ]
who did this to me?
Who did this to me?
Who did this to me?
Who did this to me?
Ah, it must have been him --
Who did this to me?
Ah, it must have been him --
the new guy.
Ah, it must have been him --
the new guy.
Yes, of course it was the new
The new guy.
Yes, of course it was the new
guy.
Yes, of course it was the new
guy.
He knows I'm number one, and
Guy.
He knows I'm number one, and
he's playing mind games with me.
He knows I'm number one, and
he's playing mind games with me.
So, he moved the desk away from
He's playing mind games with me.
So, he moved the desk away from
the outlet.
So, he moved the desk away from
the outlet.
Very clever, new guy.
The outlet.
Very clever, new guy.
Very, very clever.
Very clever, new guy.
Very, very clever.
It's exactly what I would have
Very, very clever.
It's exactly what I would have
done.
It's exactly what I would have
done.
Yes, it seems that I'm dealing
Done.
Yes, it seems that I'm dealing
with a very cool customer.
Yes, it seems that I'm dealing
with a very cool customer.
It will be a pleasure doing
With a very cool customer.
It will be a pleasure doing
battle with you, new guy, if in
It will be a pleasure doing
battle with you, new guy, if in
fact you are a new guy.
Battle with you, new guy, if in
fact you are a new guy.
I'll just put him on my list.
Wait a second.
Wait a second.
I sharpened this pencil
Wait a second.
I sharpened this pencil
yesterday.
I sharpened this pencil
yesterday.
Someone is dulling my pencils!
Yesterday.
Someone is dulling my pencils!
Yeah, of course it's her.
Someone is dulling my pencils!
Yeah, of course it's her.
She deals with pencils all day
Yeah, of course it's her.
She deals with pencils all day
long.
She deals with pencils all day
long.
She would know exactly what to
Long.
She would know exactly what to
do.
She would know exactly what to
do.
She's not even looking at me.
Do.
She's not even looking at me.
What a poker face she has.
She's not even looking at me.
What a poker face she has.
She may be against me, but she's
What a poker face she has.
She may be against me, but she's
a very, very smooth operator,
She may be against me, but she's
a very, very smooth operator,
and I like her for that.
A very, very smooth operator,
and I like her for that.
Yes, receptionist, you've earned
And I like her for that.
Yes, receptionist, you've earned
my grudging respect.
Yes, receptionist, you've earned
my grudging respect.
You are my enemy, but you fight
My grudging respect.
You are my enemy, but you fight
a good fight.
You are my enemy, but you fight
a good fight.
I look forward to meeting you on
A good fight.
I look forward to meeting you on
the field of battle.
I look forward to meeting you on
the field of battle.
Wait a second.
The field of battle.
Wait a second.
Everyone's on my list.
Wait a second.
Everyone's on my list.
They're all against me.
Everyone's on my list.
They're all against me.
I don't know who their
They're all against me.
I don't know who their
ringleader is, but I like their
I don't know who their
ringleader is, but I like their
sense of teamwork.
Ringleader is, but I like their
sense of teamwork.
My hat's off to them.
Sense of teamwork.
My hat's off to them.
They've done their research
My hat's off to them.
They've done their research
well.
They've done their research
well.
They know my weaknesses, and
Well.
They know my weaknesses, and
they know the best time to
They know my weaknesses, and
they know the best time to
strike.
They know the best time to
strike.
One of them could be a genius,
Strike.
One of them could be a genius,
maybe all of them.
One of them could be a genius,
maybe all of them.
I've got my work cut out for me.
Maybe all of them.
I've got my work cut out for me.
All right, all right, okay.
I've got my work cut out for me.
All right, all right, okay.
The game is up.
All right, all right, okay.
The game is up.
I know what each and every one
The game is up.
I know what each and every one
of you is thinking and what each
I know what each and every one
of you is thinking and what each
and every one of you is about to
Of you is thinking and what each
and every one of you is about to
do.
And every one of you is about to
do.
Oh, you're good.
Do.
Oh, you're good.
You're all very good.
Oh, you're good.
You're all very good.
I'll give you that.
You're all very good.
I'll give you that.
But you've met your match today,
I'll give you that.
But you've met your match today,
my friends.
But you've met your match today,
my friends.
You're dealing with a master
My friends.
You're dealing with a master
now.
You're dealing with a master
now.
Sit down, you loser.
Now.
Sit down, you loser.
Okay.
[ Upbeat dance music plays ]
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
I dropped my contact.
Uh-oh.
I dropped my contact.
Can -- can you stop?
I dropped my contact.
Can -- can you stop?
[ Cheers and applause ]
Can -- can you stop?
[ Cheers and applause ]
hi!
[ Cheers and applause ]
hi!
There we go.
Hi!
There we go.
Hey, hi!
There we go.
Hey, hi!
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Hey, hi!
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa!
What a crowd!
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa!
What a crowd!
Yes!
What a crowd!
Yes!
Hi.
Yes!
Hi.
Okay, okay, okay.
Hi.
Okay, okay, okay.
Yes, whoo!
Okay, okay, okay.
Yes, whoo!
Whoo!
Yes, whoo!
Whoo!
Hi, there, and welcome to
Whoo!
Hi, there, and welcome to
"a kid in the hall" show, our
Hi, there, and welcome to
"a kid in the hall" show, our
very first spinoff.
"A kid in the hall" show, our
very first spinoff.
I'm your host, scott thompson.
Very first spinoff.
I'm your host, scott thompson.
Tonight's episode is entitled
I'm your host, scott thompson.
Tonight's episode is entitled
"scott."
Tonight's episode is entitled
"scott."
First up, a closer look at my
"Scott."
First up, a closer look at my
neck.
First up, a closer look at my
neck.
Hmm...interesting.
Neck.
Hmm...interesting.
Notice the hickey?
Hmm...interesting.
Notice the hickey?
I'll let you in on a little
Notice the hickey?
I'll let you in on a little
secret.
I'll let you in on a little
secret.
I gave it to myself...
Secret.
I gave it to myself...
With this.
I gave it to myself...
With this.
Well, that does it for our craft
With this.
Well, that does it for our craft
section.
Well, that does it for our craft
section.
Now it's time to return to our
Section.
Now it's time to return to our
upcoming serial -- "the
Now it's time to return to our
upcoming serial -- "the
adventures of scott thompson."
Upcoming serial -- "the
adventures of scott thompson."
Tonight, scott thompson and his
Adventures of scott thompson."
Tonight, scott thompson and his
trusty companion,
Tonight, scott thompson and his
trusty companion,
scott thompson, climb the lofty
Trusty companion,
scott thompson, climb the lofty
heights of mt. Scott thompson.
How you doing down there,
How you doing down there,
scott thompson?
How you doing down there,
scott thompson?
I'm doing fine,
Scott thompson?
I'm doing fine,
scott thompson!
I'm doing fine,
scott thompson!
Great.
Scott thompson!
Great.
We'll pitch a tent when we reach
Great.
We'll pitch a tent when we reach
the nipple!
We'll pitch a tent when we reach
the nipple!
Whoa!
The nipple!
Whoa!
Sorry!
Whoa!
Sorry!
Wow!
Sorry!
Wow!
That was exciting!
Wow!
That was exciting!
Jeez, hosting a show is really
That was exciting!
Jeez, hosting a show is really
hard work.
Jeez, hosting a show is really
hard work.
Oh, my god, look who it is.
Hard work.
Oh, my god, look who it is.
It's my neighbors, the baxters.
Oh, my god, look who it is.
It's my neighbors, the baxters.
Tom and harriet.
It's my neighbors, the baxters.
Tom and harriet.
Thanks, tom.
Tom and harriet.
Thanks, tom.
That's just what I needed.
Thanks, tom.
That's just what I needed.
Oh, harriet, that is so sweet.
That's just what I needed.
Oh, harriet, that is so sweet.
Sit down.
Oh, harriet, that is so sweet.
Sit down.
Aren't they great?
Sit down.
Aren't they great?
And now a word from our sponsor.
Aren't they great?
And now a word from our sponsor.
Scott thompson...
And now a word from our sponsor.
Scott thompson...
Use as directed.
Scott thompson...
Use as directed.
You know, there's a theory
Use as directed.
You know, there's a theory
that there's an alternate
You know, there's a theory
that there's an alternate
universe, which is exactly like
That there's an alternate
universe, which is exactly like
our own.
Universe, which is exactly like
our own.
Hmm...
Our own.
Hmm...
That means that somewhere else
Hmm...
That means that somewhere else
there's another scott thompson.
That means that somewhere else
there's another scott thompson.
I wonder what he'd be like.
There's another scott thompson.
I wonder what he'd be like.
I wonder what he'd be like.
I wonder what he'd be like.
I wonder what he'd be like.
I wonder what he'd be like.
I wonder what he'd be like.
I wonder what he'd be like.
I wonder what he'd be like.
I wonder what he'd be like.
I wonder what he'd be like.
You know, I really liked him.
I wonder what he'd be like.
You know, I really liked him.
Well, oh, that just about does
You know, I really liked him.
Well, oh, that just about does
it.
Well, oh, that just about does
it.
Be sure to tune in next week,
It.
Be sure to tune in next week,
when our special guest will be
Be sure to tune in next week,
when our special guest will be
dave foley.
When our special guest will be
dave foley.
Well, that's enough of him, I
Dave foley.
Well, that's enough of him, I
think, eh?
Well, that's enough of him, I
think, eh?
I thought he'd never shut up!
Think, eh?
I thought he'd never shut up!
Well, it's time to say goodbye.
I thought he'd never shut up!
Well, it's time to say goodbye.
But before I go, let me just
Well, it's time to say goodbye.
But before I go, let me just
leave you with one parting word
But before I go, let me just
leave you with one parting word
of wisdom.
Leave you with one parting word
of wisdom.
♪ Keep on doing
Of wisdom.
♪ Keep on doing
what you do, do, do
♪ Keep on doing
what you do, do, do
until it's done, done, done ♪
What you do, do, do
until it's done, done, done ♪
go-o-o-od night!
Until it's done, done, done ♪
go-o-o-od night!
Oh, my contact
Go-o-o-od night!
Oh, my contact
f*ck!
Oh, my contact
f*ck!
This always happens.
f*ck!
This always happens.
Roar!
[ Piano plays in background ]
[ Piano plays in background ]
excuse me, sir.
[ Piano plays in background ]
excuse me, sir.
Are you mr. Hugala?
Excuse me, sir.
Are you mr. Hugala?
Hugala.
Are you mr. Hugala?
Hugala.
Hug-ala.
Hugala.
Hug-ala.
That name, hugala, it...it rings
Hug-ala.
That name, hugala, it...it rings
a bell -- hugala.
That name, hugala, it...it rings
a bell -- hugala.
Yes!
A bell -- hugala.
Yes!
Yes, I am mr. Hugala.
Yes!
Yes, I am mr. Hugala.
Yes, I am!
Yes, I am mr. Hugala.
Yes, I am!
Oh, all those years of darkness
Yes, I am!
Oh, all those years of darkness
lifted.
Oh, all those years of darkness
lifted.
I'm mr. Hugala.
Lifted.
I'm mr. Hugala.
Telephone call for
I'm mr. Hugala.
Telephone call for
miss devine.
Telephone call for
miss devine.
That name, it sounds so
Miss devine.
That name, it sounds so
familiar, like something from
That name, it sounds so
familiar, like something from
the past reaching out to me,
Familiar, like something from
the past reaching out to me,
trying to -- I'm miss devine!
The past reaching out to me,
trying to -- I'm miss devine!
Yes, I'm miss devine!
Trying to -- I'm miss devine!
Yes, I'm miss devine!
Oh, what adventures have I been
Yes, I'm miss devine!
Oh, what adventures have I been
on all these years?
Oh, what adventures have I been
on all these years?
All these years.
On all these years?
All these years.
Who have I been?
All these years.
Who have I been?
Snake.
Who have I been?
Snake.
Snake!
Snake.
Snake!
Hello, I'm snake.
Snake!
Hello, I'm snake.
Good to meet you, old boy!
Hello, I'm snake.
Good to meet you, old boy!
Exit sign.
Good to meet you, old boy!
Exit sign.
By god, you're right.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Hey, man.
Excuse me.
Hey, man.
Hey, man.
Hey, man.
Hey, man.
Excuse me.
Hey, man.
Excuse me.
Hey, man.
Excuse me.
Hey, man.
Excuse me.
Hey, man.
Excuse me.
Hey, man.
Excuse me.
Hey, man.
Yo!
Hey, man.
Yo!
Hey, man.
Yo!
Hey, man.
Clean your car?
Hey, man.
Clean your car?
Clean your house?
Clean your car?
Clean your house?
Dust your house?
Clean your house?
Dust your house?
Do your car?
Dust your house?
Do your car?
Your car looks dirty.
Do your car?
Your car looks dirty.
Hey!
Your car looks dirty.
Hey!
Hey, man.
Hey!
Hey, man.
Excuse me.
Hey, man.
Excuse me.
Could we do your carpet?
Excuse me.
Could we do your carpet?
Clean your carpet?
Could we do your carpet?
Clean your carpet?
We got a steamer.
Clean your carpet?
We got a steamer.
If we don't turn a few tricks
We got a steamer.
If we don't turn a few tricks
soon, I'm gonna starve.
If we don't turn a few tricks
soon, I'm gonna starve.
Yeah, things are looking
Soon, I'm gonna starve.
Yeah, things are looking
pretty bad for us domestics.
Yeah, things are looking
pretty bad for us domestics.
Yeah.
What a meal.
What a meal.
I feel like such a pig.
What a meal.
I feel like such a pig.
I know.
I feel like such a pig.
I know.
It's nothing but salad from now
I know.
It's nothing but salad from now
on.
It's nothing but salad from now
on.
Oh, god, any more and I'm
On.
Oh, god, any more and I'm
gonna have to puke.
Oh, god, any more and I'm
gonna have to puke.
I know.
Gonna have to puke.
I know.
I hate myself!
I know.
I hate myself!
Oh, god.
I hate myself!
Oh, god.
Now, that meal calls for some
Oh, god.
Now, that meal calls for some
after-dinner drinks, eh?
Now, that meal calls for some
after-dinner drinks, eh?
Okay, what do we got, patty?
After-dinner drinks, eh?
Okay, what do we got, patty?
Well, we've got some brandy,
Okay, what do we got, patty?
Well, we've got some brandy,
and there's a little bit of dry
Well, we've got some brandy,
and there's a little bit of dry
sherry, and I think we have some
And there's a little bit of dry
sherry, and I think we have some
bailey's.
Sherry, and I think we have some
bailey's.
Bailey's!
Bailey's.
Bailey's!
Bailey's!
Bailey's!
Bailey's!
Bailey's.
Bailey's!
Bailey's.
I don't know about that
Bailey's.
I don't know about that
bailey's stuff.
I don't know about that
bailey's stuff.
I'm never sure if I'm drunk or
Bailey's stuff.
I'm never sure if I'm drunk or
having a sugar rush.
I'm never sure if I'm drunk or
having a sugar rush.
Oh, that's the beauty of the
Having a sugar rush.
Oh, that's the beauty of the
beast.
Oh, that's the beauty of the
beast.
Exactly.
Beast.
Exactly.
I suppose.
Exactly.
I suppose.
Here we go.
I suppose.
Here we go.
Oh!
Here we go.
Oh!
Thank you.
Oh!
Thank you.
Girls, look what I found!
Thank you.
Girls, look what I found!
Oh, not cheesecake.
Girls, look what I found!
Oh, not cheesecake.
It's the devil's dessert.
Oh, not cheesecake.
It's the devil's dessert.
No, no, don't!
It's the devil's dessert.
No, no, don't!
Oh, no!
No, no, don't!
Oh, no!
No!
Oh, no!
No!
Okay, fine, fine, fine.
No!
Okay, fine, fine, fine.
I'll just put it away.
Okay, fine, fine, fine.
I'll just put it away.
W-w-w-wait.
I'll just put it away.
W-w-w-wait.
I mean, it wouldn't hurt just to
W-w-w-wait.
I mean, it wouldn't hurt just to
look at it, would it?
I mean, it wouldn't hurt just to
look at it, would it?
Well, that wouldn't hurt.
Look at it, would it?
Well, that wouldn't hurt.
No, if we just looked at it.
Well, that wouldn't hurt.
No, if we just looked at it.
Has anybody heard of that new
No, if we just looked at it.
Has anybody heard of that new
artificial fat that doesn't have
Has anybody heard of that new
artificial fat that doesn't have
any calories?
Artificial fat that doesn't have
any calories?
You mean simplesse?
Any calories?
You mean simplesse?
That's it.
You mean simplesse?
That's it.
It's a pretty big story, and the
That's it.
It's a pretty big story, and the
press just even isn't touching
It's a pretty big story, and the
press just even isn't touching
it.
Press just even isn't touching
it.
That's because it's a woman's
It.
That's because it's a woman's
story.
That's because it's a woman's
story.
Right.
Story.
Right.
They go on and on and on
Right.
They go on and on and on
about the berlin wall coming
They go on and on and on
about the berlin wall coming
down, but we are talking about
About the berlin wall coming
down, but we are talking about
the fat wall coming down, girls.
Down, but we are talking about
the fat wall coming down, girls.
That's true.
The fat wall coming down, girls.
That's true.
We could just have a little
That's true.
We could just have a little
taste.
We could just have a little
taste.
That wouldn't k*ll us.
Taste.
That wouldn't k*ll us.
That wouldn't k*ll us.
That wouldn't k*ll us.
That wouldn't k*ll us.
No, that wouldn't k*ll us.
That wouldn't k*ll us.
No, that wouldn't k*ll us.
Size of the portion...
No, that wouldn't k*ll us.
Size of the portion...
Mmm!
Size of the portion...
Mmm!
Mmm!
Mmm!
Mmm!
Oh-ho, god!
Mmm!
Oh-ho, god!
I'm not dead.
Oh-ho, god!
I'm not dead.
Want to know what my favorite
I'm not dead.
Want to know what my favorite
dessert is?
Want to know what my favorite
dessert is?
What?
Dessert is?
What?
Key-lime pie.
What?
Key-lime pie.
Oh, it's delicious.
Key-lime pie.
Oh, it's delicious.
Mountain dew and turtles.
Oh, it's delicious.
Mountain dew and turtles.
Really?
Mountain dew and turtles.
Really?
Cheesecake.
Really?
Cheesecake.
Aren't you lucky?
Cheesecake.
Aren't you lucky?
Peanut-butter pie.
Aren't you lucky?
Peanut-butter pie.
This restaurant downtown.
Peanut-butter pie.
This restaurant downtown.
I remember the day that I first
This restaurant downtown.
I remember the day that I first
had it just like I remember
I remember the day that I first
had it just like I remember
yesterday.
Had it just like I remember
yesterday.
The waitress -- her name was
Yesterday.
The waitress -- her name was
sonya.
The waitress -- her name was
sonya.
I remember she had b.o.
Sonya.
I remember she had b.o.
She handed me the pie -- this is
I remember she had b.o.
She handed me the pie -- this is
true.
She handed me the pie -- this is
true.
I took one bite, and I swear
True.
I took one bite, and I swear
time stood still.
I took one bite, and I swear
time stood still.
I remember that day like some
Time stood still.
I remember that day like some
people remember kennedy's death.
I remember that day like some
people remember kennedy's death.
Oh.
People remember kennedy's death.
Oh.
I think I prefer cheesecake
Oh.
I think I prefer cheesecake
to sex.
I think I prefer cheesecake
to sex.
Oh!
To sex.
Oh!
Oh, definitely.
Oh!
Oh, definitely.
I mean, sometimes I have to have
Oh, definitely.
I mean, sometimes I have to have
chocolate.
I mean, sometimes I have to have
chocolate.
I never have to get laid.
Chocolate.
I never have to get laid.
I wonder what it would be
I never have to get laid.
I wonder what it would be
like if I put some of this
I wonder what it would be
like if I put some of this
cheesecake in the bailey's.
Like if I put some of this
cheesecake in the bailey's.
Maybe it would be like a super
Cheesecake in the bailey's.
Maybe it would be like a super
chocolatey creamy dessert with
Maybe it would be like a super
chocolatey creamy dessert with
alcohol.
Chocolatey creamy dessert with
alcohol.
Hang on there.
Alcohol.
Hang on there.
Don't do it.
Hang on there.
Don't do it.
Don't do it.
Don't do it.
Don't do it.
No, don't do it!
Don't do it.
No, don't do it!
I'm in hell!
No, don't do it!
I'm in hell!
I'm in hell, and it's heaven.
I'm in hell!
I'm in hell, and it's heaven.
Oh, god!
I'm in hell, and it's heaven.
Oh, god!
Oh.
Oh, god!
Oh.
Oh!
Oh.
Oh!
That's better.
Oh!
That's better.
I'm ordering pizza.
That's better.
I'm ordering pizza.
Pizza?
I'm ordering pizza.
Pizza?
I'll get the sweatpants.
Pizza?
I'll get the sweatpants.
Pizza?
I'll get the sweatpants.
Pizza?
All right, two slices, and
Pizza?
All right, two slices, and
then that's the last...
Honey?
Honey?
Honey?
Honey?
Honey?
Could you bring up the malt
Honey?
Could you bring up the malt
vinegar, please?
Thanks, honey.
02x10 - Episode 10
Watch/Buy Amazon
The Kids frequently appeared as themselves rather than as characters, and some sketches dealt directly with the fact that they were a comedy troupe producing a TV show.
The Kids frequently appeared as themselves rather than as characters, and some sketches dealt directly with the fact that they were a comedy troupe producing a TV show.