02x09 - Paint-up, Clean-up Week

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Dennis the Menace". Aired: October 4, 1959 – July 7, 1963.*
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Follows the Mitchell family – Henry, Alice, and their only child, Dennis, an energetic, trouble-prone, mischievous, but well-meaning boy, who often tangles first with his peace-and-quiet-loving neighbor, George Wilson, a retired salesman, and later with George's brother John, a writer.
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02x09 - Paint-up, Clean-up Week

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-Dennis, where are

you going with that?

-To the living room, Mom.

I want to see if Mrs.

Schooner can do it.

-Do what?

-What Dad said she could do,

talk the leg off a chair.

-Dennis, you come back here.

[theme music]

-Why are we doing

all this work, Dad?

-Why I told you, Dennis, this

is paint up, clean up week.

If we want to win the

award for our block,

we have to have

everything spic and span.

-Oh, Dad?

-Yeah?

-When will this clean

up week be over?

-Tomorrow.

-Then can we get dirty again?

-Here, Dennis, hold that brush

while I put the screen up.

-Dad?

-Yeah?

-Is Mr. Wilson your boss?

-Certainly not.

What makes you ask that?

-Well, Mom asked you to clean

the screen a zillion times,

and Mr. Wilson only

asked you once.

-Well, Mr. Wilson's chairman

of our block for this

paint up, clean up week

and it, it it's up to me

to cooperate with him.

-Oh, is that why you

raked up the leaves,

cleaned out the garage, and

took all the trash to the dump?

-Well, I guess you could

say that's the reason.

-Boy, if it wasn't

for Mr. Wilson,

we'd sure be a messy family.

-Henry, don't forget to

clean the rain gutters.

-Oh, I will, dear, as soon

as I get around to it.

-Oh, Henry.

You've been saying

that for weeks.

-I know, Alice,

but I just have--

-Hi, Mr. Wilson.

-Oh, hello, Dennis.

-Hi, Mr. Wilson.

-Mitchell.

-Well, I'm just

checking you out.

Yard raked up, trash hauled,

flower beds in order,

screens brushed.

-Oh, we were just finishing up.

-Well, it's a fine

job, Mitchell.

It's good to have

you on the team.

-Uh, Mr. Wilson.

-Oh, hello, Alice.

-There's one more thing

you could add to your list.

-Oh?

-Cleaning the rain gutters.

-Cleaning out the rain gutters?

Oh, I hadn't noticed.

Well, we'll get that

taken care of right away,

won't we, Mitchell?

-Uh, yes, Mr. Wilson.

Right away.

Here, let me help you

with that, Mr. Wilson.

-Oh, thank you, Mitchell.

You know, it's a fine

thing when a man can't

park his car in front

of his own house.

-Every time something

goes on over at that park,

this street gets as

busy as Fifth Avenue.

-Martha says it's because

the museum is having

some kind of an

exhibit over there.

-Oh.

-Sergeant Mooney, what

are you doing there?

-This your car, Mr. Wilson?

-But Mooney, I live here.

You know that.

-You're double parked.

And it's a good

thing you are here

or I'd had a tow truck haul it

away in a couple of seconds.

Your driver's license please.

-Mooney, I was only

unloading my car.

And the parking problem

around here isn't my fault.

-Jeepers, Mr. Wilson.

Are you getting arrested?

-Huh?

Oh, of course I'm

not getting arrested.

-Oh, you buying tickets

to something, Mr. Wilson?

-Dennis, that's enough.

-No.

Mooney, I think

this is very unfair.

I have a good mind to

do something about this.

-You'd have saved

yourself a lot of trouble

if you had parked in

your own driveway.

-But, Sergeant Mooney, how could

Mr. Wilson get in his driveway

when it's all blocked up?

-Well, so it is.

This calls for another ticket.

-Good boy, Dennis.

You're very alert.

That will teach a lesson to

some inconsiderate people

around here who, oh no.

-What's the matter, Mr. Wilson?

-Oh, that's the trailer I

rented to haul away my trash.

-Oh, George, the garden's

beautiful, simply beautiful.

-Ah, thank you, Martha, my dear.

Well, if we're to win

that award tomorrow,

the block chairman

must lead by example.

-Well, if we don't win,

it won't be your fault.

Everything is just perfect, the

shrubs, the flowers, the patio.

-Yeah, everything but that.

-Now, dear, don't get upset

over Dennis' tree house.

-I think it was designed by

Mrs. Wiggs of the cabbage patch.

-I must admit, it is

a little unsightly.

-Unsightly?

Martha, look, below

the fence, Taj Mahal,

above the fence, tobacco row.

-I think they're talking

about my tree house.

That thing's a monstrosity.

-Does that means it's good?

-I don't know.

-Why, it's a dilapidated

hunk of debris.

-Well, I wish he'd just say

whether he likes it or not.

-Yeah.

-Well, Martha, I have to put

this stuff back in the garage

and then go down the block and

check out a couple more houses.

-All right, dear.

I've got plenty to

do in the house.

-All right.

-Hey, Tommy.

-Yeah?

-If this is clean up

week for the big houses,

how come it can't be clean up

week for the tree houses too?

-I don't know.

-Well, I think it ought to be.

Because if good old Mr.

Wilson didn't win the prize

on account of my tree

house that would be awful.

Come on.

-What do we do first, Dennis?

-First, we've got to

get rid of the trash.

-OK.

Now, let's see.

We've got some bones,

a couple of tin cans,

a busted old inner tube,

and a swell license plate.

But I don't see any trash.

-I guess I don't have any.

Let's see if my

rug needs cleaned.

-Looks all right to me.

-Yeah.

It really didn't

have time to get

dirty I shook it out just

a couple of months ago.

Hey, what if we took

down this old quilt?

-Golly, I thought that

was the best part.

-Yeah.

But let's try it and see.

-OK.

-It's stuck on a nail.

-Something's holding it.

-We've got to pull

hard together.

-OK.

You know something, Dennis?

I think it does look

better without the quilt.

-Yeah.

This is going to make good

old Mr. Wilson real happy.

There.

-George, it's nice to know that

the neighbors have shown you

such cooperation.

-Oh yes, Martha, everybody's

done a splendid job.

But you know confidentially,

my dear, just between you

and me, I think we

have the most-- Oh, no.

-George, what on Earth?

-Hey, Mr. Wilson.

How'd you like the way me and

Tommy cleaned up my tree house?

Golly, Tommy look.

-Huh?

-That furniture,

it's got fur on it.

-Yeah.

-What happened to your

furniture Mr. Wilson?

-What happened to my furniture?

-I guess he doesn't know either.

-Oh, give me strength.

Oh, no, you better

take my strength away.

-Tommy, I think we'd

better get down from here.

Come on.

-Oh, George, it looks

even better than before.

-[sigh]

-Oh, now don't act like that.

You know Dennis means well.

-Means well?

Martha, locusts mean well.

-Come now, he isn't that bad.

-I'm so far behind schedule now.

-Hi, Mr. Wilson.

-Hold it.

You hold your ground.

-Mr. Wilson, I just came

over to say I'm sorry.

-Well, apology accepted.

Goodbye.

-George.

-How'd you like the way me and

Tommy fixed up my tree house?

Pretty neat, huh?

-Yeah, pretty neat.

-Maybe you'd like me and

Tommy to do something for you.

-No.

Absolutely not.

Dennis, can't you see?

I've just painted this?

-But we want to help you

win the prize, Mr. Wilson.

-No.

-George, the boys

only want to help.

You should encourage them to

do something constructive.

-Constructive, they're

about as constructive

as a couple of hand grenades.

-You know what they

say about busy hands.

-Busy, yeah.

You know, Dennis, this is paint

up week and that wagon of yours

looks pretty bad.

Uh, how would you

like to paint it?

-Boy, would I.

-But we don't have any paint.

-Well, let's see now.

Dennis, if you, uh, take your

wagon over to Tommy's and paint

it there, I'll give some to you.

Oh, Tommy, you do

still live in the house

on the other side of

the park, don't you?

-Yes, sir.

-What color should we

paint it, Mr. Wilson?

-Well, it used to be red.

And it just so happens

I have some red paint

right in my garage.

-Boy, thanks, Mr. Wilson.

Red's my favorite color.

-Good.

Just inside the door there.

There's some old

paint brushes too.

You know, Martha,

if I'm lucky, he'll

trip and spill

the paint all over

himself then his papa will

have to spank him good.

-George.

What a horrible thing to say.

-It's just a horrible thing

to say, but hoo, hoo, hoo,

what a beautiful thought.

[crash]

-Hey, Dennis.

-Golly.

What are we gonna do now?

-I'll see you tomorrow.

-Wait Tommy.

We can't leave this

paint all over the curb.

-What are we gonna do about it?

-You got blotters at your house?

-No, I don't think so.

Hey, maybe we can rub

it out with some dirt.

-No, wait a minute.

You know something?

It makes the curb

look kind of pretty.

-Yeah.

It does look pretty.

-They call this paint

up week, why don't we

paint the rest of the curb?

It will make Mr. Wilson's

place look real swell.

-OK.

-Boy, will Mr.

Wilson be surprised.

-I'll say.

-I'll paint this side

and you paint that side.

There all done.

-We sure are good painters

aren't we, Dennis?

-Yeah.

Mr. Wilson couldn't do it

any better himself I bet.

-Dennis, lunch is ready.

-OK, Mom.

-I'll see you later, Dennis.

-Oh, Martha, I have to rush

over to the Richardson's.

They want me to inspect

their grape arbor.

And the Wilcox's have a

problem with their fish pond.

-Well, you go ahead,

dear, I'll finish up here.

-Oh, that's just the

finishing touch we need.

My the place looks beautiful.

Bye, dear.

Darn kid painted his wagon

and left the paint here.

-Hey, Wilson.

-Oh, hello, Sergeant Mooney.

Yes?

-I see you decided to take

matters in your own hands.

-What?

-Oh, you know what I'm talking

about, painting the curve red

so people can't park here.

-Painting the curb

red so, oh no.

-You just can't leave

well enough alone.

Can you?

-Oh, now wait a minute, Mooney.

I didn't do this.

-Oh, no, of course not.

What are you doing with the

paint and brush in your hands?

Tinting your fingernails?

Come on, see if you can explain

it down at headquarters.

-Now, listen, Mooney.

If you'll only listen.

-And I'd like to add, I think

you're a pretty sloppy painter.

-Oh now, wait, you

must be reasonable.

Oh, for heaven's sake.

-Dad?

-Yes, Dennis?

-Is it all right for me

to come downstairs now?

-Do you think you can

remember what you did wrong?

-Oh, yes, Dad.

I won't ever use

red paint again.

-Or bother Mr. Wilson or paint

anything without permission?

-Oh, yes, Dad.

Even if it's paint

up and clean up week.

I won't ever paint

up or clean up again.

-All right, Dennis,

you can come down.

-Poor Mr. Wilson with

so much on his mind

now, this has to happen.

-We're terribly sorry

about this, Mrs. Wilson.

-Of course, if we won the award

all this would be forgotten.

-Oh, I do hope for

his sake he wins.

He's put so much time

and effort into it.

-We'll win, Dad.

-Oh?

-Sure.

Because Mr. Wilson's a good guy.

And the good guys always win.

-Well, I better be going along.

Oh, there's George now.

He's coming over here.

-Boy, that's swell.

Now I can ask him for something.

-Don't you say one word

to Mr. Wilson, Dennis.

-But Dad.

-Not one word.

-Yes sir.

[doorbell]

-Hold on, the roof's

about to fall in.

Hello, Mr. Wilson.

-Hello, Mitchell.

Alice.

Martha.

-Mr. Wilson.

-Hello, Dennis.

Well, I said hello, Dennis.

-Dennis, Mr. Wilson's

speaking to you.

-But you told me

not to say one word.

-Forget what I said.

-Hello, Mr. Wilson.

Did they handcuff you?

Did they feed you

bread and water?

Will your picture be

in the post office?

-Dennis, that's enough.

Incidentally, Mr. Wilson, I got

some paint remover and Dennis

and I cleaned the curb.

We're very sorry about that.

-It's all right, Mitchell.

Everything worked

out for the best.

-Oh?

-Oh, yes, indeed.

My little trip down

the headquarters

gave me a chance to

air my views regarding

our deplorable

parking situation.

-Do you think it did

any good, George?

-Oh, yes.

They promised be

immediate action.

-Well.

-Of course, knowing the

city, immediate action

probably means .

-How true.

-I must be on my way for

my final inspection tour.

Oh, and Martha, you better get

home and dust off our mantle.

-Dust off the mantle?

-Yes, for that plaque we're

going to win tomorrow.

See you later folks.

Oh, sorry, Dennis.

Well, now, what

are you staring at?

-The ceiling.

When you got here Dad said

the roof was going to fall in.

-George, we must

have had a high wind

last night the back yard

is filled with leaves.

-What?

Oh.

Great Scott, the front yard's

filled with leaves too.

[phone ringing]

-Oh, I, I, I I'll get it.

Oh, that's hot.

Hello.

Oh, hello, Chet.

What?

Oh, thanks for tipping me off.

Martha, that was Chet Turner

who lives over on Maple Street.

He says the inspecting committee

is on his street right now.

-Oh, dear.

-We'll have to hurry.

-I'll tell you.

I'll rake up the

leaves in the back yard

if you'll do the front.

-That's a good idea,

Martha, a splendid idea.

You oh.

Yes.

Oh, dear.

-Hi, Mr. Wilson.

Me and Tommy came

over to see if we

could do something to help you.

-No, no, no, don't

bother me now, boys.

I've got to rake

up these leaves.

-George, the trellis in

the patio has blown down.

-The trellis?

Well, of all the

time for the, oh, oh.

Ah, yes, boys you can help me.

Now look, gather

up these leaves.

The wind really made a mess

of this yard last night.

-OK, Mr. Wilson.

-And the committee's due here

any minute so do a good job.

-We sure will, Mr. Wilson.

-I don't know why,

Martha, but I have

a feeling I've just

made a terrible mistake.

-You're just nervous because

the committee's coming.

-You're darn right I am.

-Tommy, take that

piece of cardboard

and hold it down here so I

can rake the leaves on it.

-OK.

Now, what do I with it?

-Um, put them in the wagon.

That way we can haul them

off to the empty lot.

And Mr. Wilson won't have

to bother with them anymore.

-Dennis?

-Huh?

-How much do you

think Mr. Wilson

will give us for doing this?

-Oh, I don't want anything.

I'm just doing this because

Mr. Wilson is such a nice man.

-Don't you think he'd be a

nicer man if he gave us $.?

-No.

-A dime?

-Boy, I'll bet even

Mr. Wilson couldn't

do a better job than this.

-I'll say.

Maybe he'll give us a nickel.

-We're not taking

anything from him.

We're doing it because

he's our friend.

-OK.

But next time we better work

for somebody we don't like.

-Oh, Tommy.

Come on.

We've got to dump these

leaves in the empty lot.

Mr. Wilson's not

going to win a plaque

with that old basket in

the middle of his lawn.

Put it some place where it

will be out of the way, Tommy.

-Ah, I finally got that

trellis back up, Martha,

I just hope nothing

else goes wrong.

-Nothing is going to go wrong.

The block is beautiful

and we're sure to win.

-Oh.

Oh, great Scott, Martha, it's

the inspecting committee.

-Oh.

I just love these ribbons.

Your attention everyone.

This is our final block.

And I want to stress the

importance of maintaining

our same high standards

of inspection.

-Of course.

-Mr. Staley, you

and your group will

inspect the houses that way.

And the rest of us

will work this way.

-Oh, Mrs. Schooner.

-Yes, Mr. Staley?

-It is a minus ten points

for tarnished house numbers?

-No, a minus five

for house numbers.

Minus ten is for moths

in the porch light.

-Thank you.

-The committee's in

our backyard now.

-Oh?

How'd they look?

What'd they say?

-Oh, they look sort

of non-committal,

and they were just whispering.

-They're eyeing

Dennis' tree house.

-Oh, great Scott.

That's going to

spoil everything.

-Well, if it is

mutually agreed, shall

we give Mr. Wilson

the good news?

-I should say so.

-Well, personally

I thought it was

between this block and

the one on Oak Street.

-Please, Mr. Staley,

it was on Oak Street

where they had algae

in the bird bath.

-I'll reconsider and

vote for Elm Street.

[doorbell]

-Well, I had no idea you

were in the neighborhood.

Please come in.

-Look Tommy, some people parked

in front of Mr. Wilson's house

again.

-Yeah.

And he sure hates that.

-Well, I'm going to

do something about it.

-What can you do?

-There's a police

car over by the park

and I'm going to go

tell him about it.

Jeepers, Tommy, that was a

dumb place to leave the basket.

Put it in wagon and

take it to our garage.

-OK.

-And that brings us to this

lovely block on Elm Street.

Mr. Wilson, as chairman of

the committee for paint up,

clean up week in

our community it

is my pleasant

duty to inform you

that you have won the

award for the best

block in the community.

[applause]

-Oh, I feel humble.

And we would now

like to announce

the winner of the individual

award for the best

host in the block.

Oh, my cup runneth over.

-George, they haven't

announced it yet.

-Actually, I'm glad Mr. and

Mrs. Mitchell are here too.

The final decision was

between your two homes.

-What finally decided

us was the tree house.

-Well, I hope you realize

that tree house isn't mine.

-Oh?

It hangs over your yard.

-Oh, that's true.

But it belongs to their

little boy Dennis.

-Well, in that case, the

Mitchell's are the winners.

-It was a masterly touch.

-That tree house complete

with American flag

evoked the memory of

all our childhoods.

-Charming, charming.

-Well, thank you.

Thank you all.

-Oh, we certainly

do feel honored.

-George, I think you

should say something.

-Thank you, my dear.

I will.

Now, in as much as that tree

house hangs over my property--

-George.

-Mr. Wilson, as chairman of the

winning block you, of course,

will receive the larger

of the two plaques.

-Oh, the larger.

-Mr. Staley, may I have

the plaques please?

-Oh, oh, I must have

left them in the car.

-Would you mind

getting them for me?

-Oh, I'll, I'll get them.

I'll get them.

Wait!

Hold it!

Stop!

-Hi, Mr. Wilson.

Look what we did for you.

We had them two that old

car off to the pound.

-Great Scott!

[theme music]
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