[nostalgic pop music]
[music builds]
♪ I'm laughing on the outside ♪
♪ Crying on the inside ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm so in love ♪
♪ With you ♪
[silence]
[distant traffic]
[rumbling]
[silence]
[James sighs]
Hey
[Alyssa] Sometimes, James feels
like a boy I could love
Like, really love
[distant honking]
Then, other times,
he feels like a total f*cking stranger
[Muzak]
It's an extra £30 for a late checkout
Fine
That's a lot of cash
We robbed a bank
[Alyssa sighs]
Keep the change
[slow rock]
[James] Could get a train to your dad's
[Alyssa] Maybe
[Alyssa] What if he doesn't want
to see me?
Well, shall we?
- What?
- Get a train to your dad's
[Alyssa] He probably won't
even recognize me
- Are we still going there?
- Yeah, obviously
We should lie low for a bit
Wait a couple of days
before we start getting
on any trains or anything
- Why?
- Because we robbed a guy, James
- He assaulted me
- Doesn't matter
We should go off-grid for a bit
Isn't your dad's off-grid?
- Why are you so obsessed with my dad?
- What?
I'm not
He's miles away
We need to find somewhere nearby
Somewhere nice
Could be like a mini break
[slow rock continues]
Holy shit
- How do you know?
- Know what?
That this one's safe
No obvious burglar alarm
Dust everywhere,
so no cleaner to worry about
[Alyssa] Post
At least a week's worth
Is breaking and entering
the best way of lying low?
[glass shatters]
[door opens and closes]
[Alyssa] Cool
[James] Think that's him
[Alyssa] Who?
[James] The guy that lives here
[Alyssa] Yeah, obviously
Bit uptight, isn't he?
[James] He's a professor
[Alyssa] Whatever, it's f*cking weird
having a photo of yourself
Hey
Look what I found
[James] Alyssa didn't have
much respect for people
Or people's stuff
[Alyssa] I sometimes wonder
if I should just become an alcoholic
It means you've always got
something to do
[suppressed gag]
[silence]
I reckon this'll do
[James] Yeah
We can just chill here,
plan our route, take our time
Yep
[Alyssa] I'm trying to think
what adults do in situations like this
Should we go downstairs
and have a glass of wine?
Yeah
OK
Are you hungry?
Always
[Alyssa] Well, that wasn't
as shit as I expected
It was actually really nice
[Alyssa] Thank you
How do you know how to cook?
Taught myself
[hard rock]
[James] It was that or type 2 diabetes
[Alyssa] We should wash up
[upbeat country music]
♪ Comb your hair and paint and powder ♪
♪ You act proud and I'll act prouder ♪
♪ You sing loud and I'll sing louder ♪
♪ Tonight we're settin'
the woods on fire ♪
♪ You're my gal and I'm your feller... ♪
[Alyssa] Some people get embarrassed
dancing. I don't
I think it's when I feel most myself
I get embarrassed talking
Well, after talking
When I realize
I've said something stupid
We should do this naked
[Alyssa] Something like that
♪ That never has been done ♪
♪ I don't care who thinks we're silly ♪
♪ You be Daffy ♪
♪ And I'll be Dilly ♪
♪ We'll order up two bowls of chili ♪
♪ Settin' the woods on fire... ♪
[James] As a rule, I didn't dance,
but it was hard to say no to Alyssa
Hey, close your eyes
- What?
- Close your eyes. I promise I won't look
♪ I'll gas up my hot-rod stoker ♪
♪ We'll get hotter than a poker ♪
♪ You'll be broke, but I'll be broker... ♪
[Alyssa] I think he is properly beautiful
♪ We'll sit close to one another ♪
♪ Up one street and down the other ♪
♪ We'll have a time, oh, brother ♪
♪ Settin' the woods on fire... ♪
[Alyssa] But he'll never start anything,
so...
♪ My tires and tubes are doin' fine,
but the air is showin' through... ♪
Come here
♪ You clap hands and I'll start howlin' ♪
♪ We'll do all the law's allowin'... ♪
Undo your belt
[Alyssa] Whoever says all boys are
obsessed with sex hasn't met James
[music stops]
[Alyssa] I really hope
I'm not bad at this
Huh
[James snickers]
Is this OK?
[James gulps]
[breathes deeply]
Um, stop. Please, could you stop
- What?
- He was putting me off
- I thought you said that you wanted me
- I do
- I did
- Liar
f*ck you!
[melancholy guitar]
Alyssa!
[door slams]
[James] I tended not to feel things
For a long time, I was good at it
Good at feeling absolutely nothing
I didn't even have to try
I just...
didn't
[low rumbling]
[rumbling intensifies]
BLEACH
[door echoes]
[doo-wop] ♪ Oooh, what a day ♪
♪ Oh, what a day
Oh, what a day ♪
♪ Oooh-oooh-oooh ♪
♪ Oh, what a day
Oh, what a day ♪
♪ When we fell in looove ♪
[music stops]
[Alyssa] The world is f*cking bleak
I guess I try and do things
to forget that it is
Keep busy, keep blind
I thought that's what me
and James were doing
Don't look at that
Hey
Hey
- How old are you, then?
- 17
Yeah, right
[snorts] You look better in person
f*ck off
[Alyssa] I do, actually
My mum says it's my secret w*apon,
which I think is kind of rude,
but I see her point
- So, what was your name again?
- Alyssa
Alyssa
Cool
What's yours?
Topher
What kind of a name is Topher?
It's short for Christopher
So, why can't you just be called Chris,
like a normal person?
Dunno
Guess I'm a twat
[melancholy guitar]
- Do you have a girlfriend?
- No
- Boyfriend?
- No
[Topher] Whoa! Is this your place?
[Alyssa] We're squatting
[Topher] Who's we?
[door opens and closes]
James, this is Topher
And we're going upstairs to have sex
[James] Being with Alyssa had started
to make me feel things
She made me feel things
And I didn't like it at all
[guitar stops]
[Topher] Um...
[Alyssa] What?
[Topher] This isn't being filmed is it?
[Alyssa sighs]
Are you actually underage and someone's
gonna leap out like, "catch a pedophile"?
[Alyssa] Oh, for God's sake!
Come on, then!
[ominous music]
[giggling]
[James] Alyssa had thrown me a curveball
[slash]
[hearty laughter]
[James] I had to bide my time
So I decided to have a look around
[laughter continues]
♪ Walking all day
with my eyes on fire ♪
♪ Can't stop looking at you ♪
♪ Walking all day
with my eyes on fire ♪
♪ That's what I've gotta do ♪
♪ Can't stop looking at you ♪
[muffled screaming]
[screaming intensifies]
[heavy silence]
Shit
[Alyssa giggles]
[low rumbling]
You're cool, Alyssa
You're really f*cking cool
Thanks
[Alyssa] It's no good
It's just no good
Thanks, James
- I'm sorry
- What?
I changed my mind
I'm sorry, I'm not into this
Are you... Are you kidding?
Nope
[stutters] That's not fair
Uh, yes, it is
Please, Alyssa
I think you're amazing
Well, then, respect me changing my mind,
and f*ck off, please
[Topher sighs]
It's like... [angry] There is a word
for girls like you
I'll bet
[door slams]
[heavy footsteps on stairs]
[Topher] She is a f*cking
prick-tease b*tch
Right, yeah
I'll tell her
[door opens and slams shut]
[James knocks]
Alyssa?
[Alyssa] Go away
[Alyssa] It feels like sex can go
from something you want to do
to a punishment, really f*cking quickly
[ominous music]
[James] I waited until she fell asleep
[door creaks]
[ominous music builds then stops]
[James] When her eyes were closed...
Alyssa looked a lot less angry
[gentle acoustic guitar]
[Alyssa sighs in her sleep]
♪ This is my five-string serenade ♪
♪ Beneath the water it played ♪
♪ And while I'm playing for you ♪
♪ It could be raining there, too ♪
That's great
[ominous beat]
Thank you very... [falters] much
[ominous music]
[door opens]
[ominous music intensifies]
[approaching footsteps]
[music builds]
[music stops]
[Alyssa] Oh, f*ck
How did you get in here?
I'm sorry
It's OK
[sighs]
It's OK, you just...
gave me a shock, that's all
Are you in trouble?
You needed somewhere to stay?
That's all right
You on your own?
Yes
OK
[deep rumbling]
You made a bit of a mess downstairs,
didn't you?
[man] Hmm?
You've been eating my porridge,
as well, Goldilocks?
[snickers]
What?
Shush, shush, shush, shush
Just stay still
Please don't
Don't what?
[firm] Hey, you gonna make this difficult?
[whimpers]
Oh... Are you a virgin?
No
[struggling]
[60s country pop]
♪ I'm sorry ♪
♪ So sorry ♪
♪ That I was such a fool ♪
♪ I didn't know ♪
♪ Love could be so cruel ♪
♪ Oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh, oh, yes ♪
♪ You tell me ♪
♪ Mistakes ♪
- Are you a virgin?
- Yes
♪ Are part of being young ♪
- Me, too
- Yeah, no shit
♪ But that don't right ♪
♪ The wrong that's been done ♪
[backing singers] ♪ I'm sorry ♪
♪ I'm sorry ♪
[backing singers] ♪ So sorry ♪
♪ So sorry ♪
♪ Please accept my apology ♪
♪ But love is blind ♪
♪ And I was too blind to see ♪
♪ Oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh, oh, yes ♪
01x03 - Episode 3
Watch/Buy Amazon Books
Series is based on Charles Forsman's mini-comics The End of the f*cking World, which were collected into a book in 2013.
Series is based on Charles Forsman's mini-comics The End of the f*cking World, which were collected into a book in 2013.