01x34 - The Never Gwending Story

[bunniefuu]

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Owen: Story tiiiiime!!!

Story tiiiiiiime!!!!

Story time! Story time! Story time!

I'm so excited!

Uh oh. (Landing thud)

- Stop being on the ceiling.

It's weird and it doesn't make sense.

And, story time stinks.

- Everybody ready for today's story?

- Can't you just t*rture us instead?

- Wait! Gwen!

Do you want a timeout?

- If it means not having to listen

to another sickeningly sweet story,

then yes. Thank you.

- No. You're staying.

No time-out. - No timeouts?!

Oh yeeeeah!

Eeee! Hahaha!

- Time. Out. - But you said no--

- I said timeout!

- Kid books are the worst.

It's always cute little animals

trying to solve a dumb problem

that isn't actually a problem

with an ending so sweet

you wanna barf up every single thing you've ever eaten.

Bleh!

Today's story is called,

"Fuzzy Tum-Tum and the Fine Forest Friends

Need to Make a Cake."

(Disgusted grunt)

- (reads) "There was once a time...

Fuzzy Tum-Tum, lived in the forest.

He was the fuzziest,

tummiest bunny in all the land.

And fuzzy had two friends.

And they had friends.

- (Gasps) Just like us!

- Yes, Owen. Just like all of you.

- (Groans)

Chef: (reads) "And as the sleepy sun went off to bed,

the forest friends gathered to toast

a birthday marshmallow cake

for Fuzzy Tum-Tum.

But what happened next was the best part..."

- (Gasps) - (Excited giggle)

♪ TA DA!

(Horrified gasps)

- Huh. I guess the last page just fell out.

Oh, well. It's an old book. The end!

- Finally!

- But how does it end?

- Did the cake turn out? Describe it!

- Did they stay friends or become best friends?

- Was the eagle the pig's mom or not?

- You're supposed to be in a timeout.

- You know I'm bad at listening!

- But... - But... - But...

- But how does it end?

I don't know how it ends, okay?!

So I guess today's lesson is about,

uh, "managing your disappointment."

(Doorbell rings) Now go play.

I gotta get the door.

Oooo. It's finally here!

(Gleeful giggles)

- I need to know what happens to Fuzzy Tum-Tum?

- Me too. This is the worst day ever!

- There's a hole in my heart

that can only be filled by Fuzzy Tum-Tum...

or surgery. - (Whimpers)

Gwen: I know how it ends.

I'll tell you. If you think you can handle it.

I've never read this book.

(Chair rattles) - (Startled screams)

(Flashlight clicks on) - What happens next...?

"The sleepy sun yawned happily and drifted off to sleep.

And that's when the nightmare started."

Beth: Um, what?

- You see, the cute little animals friends

did not know of the beast that lived in the forest.

The beast that was...

hungry.

- Hungry for hugs? - No. For flesh.

Cute. Animal. Flesh.

- (Horrified gasps) - (Shrill scream)

- I'm making it up as I go,

but it's already a way better story.

"The sky grew dark. The wind howled!

And the cake was sour and mushy!"

- Not the cake!

(Monster roars)

Gwen: "The animals ran, but the beast caught up.

He had webbed feet!

Purple skin!

And one giant eye!"

(Ferocious roar)

- "It gobbled up all the animals.

None of their little hugs could stop it."

(Scared whimpers)

"But the little animals lived forever."

Both: Whaaa?

Gwen: "Inside the hump on the beast's back!"

- (Fainting moan)

Gwen: "And the beast screamed to the dark night sky,

"I. Am. The Morgorax."

(Monster roars)

All: Aaahhhhhh!

- Nap time! All: Aaahhhhhh!!!!

Chef: Lights out!

(Light buzz off)

- The Morgorax mostly comes at nap time. Mostly.

(Worried whimper)

- Thank goodness for nap time!

I can't wait to try on my new scuba suit,

and find me some sunken pirate treasure!

- Is everyone else too full of ice-cold terror to nap?

Is everyone too full of ice-cold terror to speak

so you're nodding silently?

Okay. Gwennnnn? Will the Morgorax come for us?

- Guys, don't worry about the Morgorax coming for you.

Cause nothing can stop it if it does.

(Little squeak)

- (Gasp) What was that? Does the Morgorax squeak?

- No. But the animals in its hump do.

- Oh no! - (Little squeak)

If its hump is here, so is the rest of it!

Whew. It's just that mean squirrel.

I wish the Morgorax would get him.

Squirrel: Ahh! - Ahhh!

I think the squirrel just got Morgoraxed!

It's my fault. I forgot wishes have power.

- I planted a seed,

and now I get to watch my terror flower grow.

- It's okay! I piled all our food by the door.

Maybe the Morgorax will eat that instead of us.

- (Eating sounds)

What? What is it?

- (Struggling grunts)

(Grunts) Ooooohh.

I am out of shape.

That's what happens when you skip workouts.

You got the right idea, Lenny.

Oooo! I am burning up!

I better crank the a/c.

(Light whir)

- Ah. This feels like the cold wind from the story

that happens just before the Morgorax shows up.

- We have to do something!

We can't wait for this thing to eat us!

- If I were you, I'd overreact.

(Panicked screaming)

- I'd better go to the bathroom first.

I've already moved onto my emergency backup pants.

All: (Panicked screaming)

- OOF!

- Guys! Guys!

We need to keep it together and defend ourselves!

If we're going to survive,

I say we make some traps,

and show this monster we are not going down without a fight!

Who's with me?

All: Yeah!!!

♪♪♪

(Smell hisses)

- I asked for your shirt. - Oops.

- This has been a pretty great day,

but with all these traps set up

I kind of wish there was a Morgorax.

- The kids are gonna love this.

(Grunting)

- Oops!

- (Growls)

- (Screaming)

- What's that?!

- (Screaming)

- (Teeth chattering)

(Worried whimpers)

All: Ahhhhh!

- It's got flippers!

Leshawna: Purple skin!

Owen: A hump! Courtney: One giant eye!

- It's ... It's ...

- The Morgoraxxxxx!

I made up that story.

The story was made up.

Made up things aren't supposed to be real.

They're made up!

- (Grunting)

- This is our house, Morgorax!

Go back to wherever you're from!

- Where is it from, Gwen?

- Who cares?! Ready. Aim. Fire!

- (Screams)

- I don't wanna live in a hump!

Ahhhhh!

- (Muffled screams) UGH!

- It sounds so scary!

Aaaaahhhh!

- I can't believe an actual monster shows up,

and i'm too afraid to go near it!

- Aaaaahhhh!

Duncan! Fire when ready!

- Ready!

- Ah... (Hitting thud)

- (Angry chitter)

Owen: Chef? - Ugh, do you like my new--

- It swallowed Chef! - We gotta get him out!

Cut the Morgorax open! - Morga-what?

No, stop! Not my new--

- It's not working! - We'll save you, Chef!

Hit the Morgorax until it let's him go!

Chef: Ugh, stop! Please!

N-n-n-n-no! (Pained groan)

- I somehow created that beast;

I should be helping, not hiding!

Cody: Helloooo?

A little help here?

- Its hump! Break the hump!

It'll free all of its victims!

Chef: No! Gentle with the tank!

Stop! (Groans) (Hitting thuds)

Whoa! OOF!

- Hey! Morgorax!

I don't know where you came from,

but it's time for you to go back!

(Charge scream)

- N-n-n-no!

- Go home, Morgorax!

(Ping, air whooshes)

- Ahhhhh!

Waaahaaaaa! (Echoes)

Where'd it go?

- Up. The sky is huge.

Chef: (Screams, landing thud)

(Moans)

- We did it. The Morgorax is dead!

(All cheer)

- I don't know what just even happened!

(Spits, moans)

- You're welcome, Chef. Huh?

Owen: Hey, what was that?

- Uuummm. Nothing.

It's the real last page of the book.

(Reads) "The moon came up to join the animals for cake.

And Fuzzy Tum-Tum did a dance."

(Paper crumples)

Meh. My version was way better.