01x10 - O Say, Can You Remember the Words?

[bunniefuu]

And trust.

All right, very nice, people.

Now that you have clearly
mastered the trust exercise,

you, you're ready to act.

But the secret to acting is reacting.

[Screaming]

Did you see that? He reacted.

-He didn't think. Did you?
-I try not to, sir.

And you're great at it!

I want you all living in that mom...

[Screams] Ahrgh!

I've got a brother.

You're gonna have to do way better than that.

Oh. Hmm...

-[BOTH SCREAM] Argh!
-Ahrgh!

Nice work. You get an "A" for the day.

I'll take a "B" if you stop doing that.

Everybody, listen up.

Now we're going to do the mirror exercise.

What one does, the other mirrors.

Acting, reacting.

Mirror.

Now, next week, we are doing
scenes from Shakespeare's great play,

"Romeo and Juliet"

"But soft, what light through
yonder window breaks?"

"It is the east,

and Juliet is the sun."

Man, that dude knew how to pick up chicks.

So, who do you want for a partner?

Well, not Oliver. I mean, look at him.

[Imitating monkey]

I know, he's always monkeying around.

-Exactly, and I need a good grade.
-So do I.

But if one of us doesn't pick him, nobody will.

I guess you're right. So...

-You pick him.
-Me? No way!

Nice mirror.

I have a compromise.

I pick Henry!

No fair! He went to Shakespeare
Camp three summers in a row!

-Why do you think I picked him?
-You know what? I don't care.

This doesn't mean I pick Oliver.

You pick Oliver? Bold choice!

Especially considering you're
going to have to kiss him.

-[SHRIEKS]
-Ahhhrgh!

I knew I'd get you! Just kidding!

♫

♪ Come on! ♪

♪ You get the limo out front ♪

♪ Hottest styles, every shoe, every color ♪

♪ Yeah, when you're famous it can be kind of fun ♪

♪ It's really you but no one ever discovers ♪

♪ Who would have thought that a girl like me ♪

♪ Would double as a superstar? ♪

♪ You get the best of both worlds ♪

♪ Chill it out, take it slow ♪

♪ Then you rock out the show ♪

♪ You get the best of both worlds ♪

♪ Mix it all together ♪

♪ And you know that it's the best of both worlds ♪

[Laughing]

Oh, Juliet.

Oliver, we have been
rehearsing for over two hours

and we're still on the first page!

It didn't take Shakespeare
this long to write the play!

Okay, just give me a
second to get into character.

[whispering] Why me?

Hey, Juliet!

Get it? I'm a fruit fly!

[DRONING] Huh, fruit fly?

Now you're a dead fruit fly.

Can we just please do this, Oliver, please?

Okay. I'll really try this time.

But soft, what light over yonder breaks wind?

No! You know what, I'm
just gonna email Mr. Corelli

and ask for another partner.

Miley, wait. I'm just nervous, okay?

-Nervous? About what?
-Messing up and looking stupid.

Hey, guess what, done that.

At least when I joke around,

they're laughing because I want them to.

Come on, Oliver, nobody's gonna laugh at you.

Trust me, this has been going on forever.

Four score and...

Four score

and...

I'm a fruit fly! Abraham fruit fly!

Okay, look, Oliver, everybody gets nervous.

When I'm up there as Hannah
Montana, I get nervous, too.

-Oh, yeah, right.
-No, really.

The minute I hear I have to perform,
I get a huge knot in my stomach

and my heart starts pounding
so hard I can hardly move.

Guess who's singing the National Anthem

at the Laker game tomorrow night?

Yes! Hannah Montana! Rocking
the anthem! For the Lakers!

But I'm very nervous,

huge knot, don't know if I can do it.

-Nice try.
-Okay, so I don't get nervous.

I'm Hannah Montana, for crying out loud!

I'm not a normal kid!

Wow. Romeo and Juliet. I had
to do this scene in speech class.

-And you did just fine, didn't you?
-Nope.

Actually, it was the darkest day of my life.

Made it through the first two words

then froze up like Aunt Pearl in
the outhouse on Christmas morning.

But everything turned out okay?

Only 'cause I started cracking jokes.

"What light through yonder window breaks wind?"

That one k*lled them!

But that was wrong.

Shakespeare is very important
and you'll use it every day of your life.

Like fractions. I'm using them right now.

I'm halfway out the room.
Three-quarters and I'm gone.

See? I'm not the only one who
has a problem with Shakespeare.

Even your dad got all freaked out.

Oliver, but he didn't have me. You're my friend.

And I'm not gonna let you fall on your face.

Here, let's do the trust exercise, go!

[DOORBELL RINGS-♪]
Ahhh!

Okay, technically, that wasn't your face.

-Hey, Rico. How's it going?
-Great, fine, swell.

Now give me my box. Where's my secret candy box?

[Screams]
Ahhh!

Where is it? What happened?

What did you do? It's gone!

Yeah, along with the enamel on your teeth.

Look, your dad called. Your
last dental exam was so bad,

they're putting your x-rays up in
the lobby to scare the other kids.

The man lies! Last time we went to the movies,

he put me in a diaper so I could get in for free.

I'm not buying it.

This is the same father who gave me 100 bucks

to keep this away from you.

Give me, give me, give me,
give me, give me, give me...

Please, settle down, all right?

You see what this candy is doing to you?

This is for your own good.

Fine. But listen to me and listen good.

There's not one place on this
earth where you could put that candy

that I'm not gonna get it.

Oh, yeah? Well, what about right here?

Give me, give me, give me, no, give me, give me!

-And here.
-Give me, give me, give me...

Hey, Dad, how you doing? What's
for dinner? Hope it's meatloaf.

How was your day? Mine was
good. Nice shirt, goes with your hair.

What's for dinner? Did I
already ask that? Meatloaf?

Jackson; How much candy have you had today?

[Stammering] Why, why, why,
...why, would you even ask that?

We both know you have a problem
when you've had too much sweets.

Let it go. I was eight, it was Easter,

I'd never seen a chocolate bunny before.

Big chocolate bunny ears with candy eyes. Whoa!

Okay, let me smell your breath.

Dang, you smell like the inside of a piñata.

Big deal. So I had a few dozen pieces of candy.

I can stop anytime I want.

-Hey, what are you eating?
-Nothing! Get off my back, woman!

[whooping]
Huh!

Daddy; I haven't seen him
like this since Halloween of '99.

Oh, I remember.

I clocked him at 58 miles
an hour in his roller-skates.

In a Yoda costume.

So, how's it going with Romeo?

Well, you know, I finally got Oliver
to take it seriously and guess what?

He's seriously horrible!

I just think you guys need to take a break.

We'll go to the Laker game,

you'll sing the anthem, get your mind off of it.

I wish.

But all I can think about is getting
a bad grade and looking stupid,

-just because I'm stuck with Oliver.
-Mile, Oliver is...

I know, he's a friend and
you don't bail on friends.

-Yeah, Mile, but...
-But nothing.

It's like he's the 'Titanic' and I gotta
jump ship before I go down with him.

Mile, 'iceberg' right behind you.

You said you'd be there for me.

-Oliver; I was just_
-Bailing on me?

No, I was just thinking about bailing on you.

-It's different!
-You said I was the "Titanic."

Not the ship! The very successful movie!

You made like $1 billion!

Okay, Daddy, we need a new warning signal.

Honey, I did everything but
baste you with barbeque sauce.

I should not feel bad about this.

It's not my fault that
Shakespeare makes him nervous.

"What light through yonder
window breaks?" How tough is that?

[ANNOUNCER:] Ladies and gentlemen, please rise

for the singing of our National Anthem

by teen pop sensation, Hannah Montana.

[crowd cheering]

♪ O say, can you see ♪

♪ by the dawn's early light ♪

♪ through yonder window breaks... ♪

[crowd laughs]

Or ramparts... No, rockets.
[SPECTATORS BOOING]

Red glare... Oh, yeah, right. Yeah, that's right.

[SPECTATORS BOOING]
Uuuu..uhhh...

Look! I'm a cup fly!

You get it?

[Buzzing-zz]

Jackson; You want some pancakes with that syrup?

No thanks. I'm good.

Jumping Jehoshaphat, Son!
Next time, don't waste a plate.

-Just drink it from the bottle.
-That's a great idea!

Jackson!

Whoo! That really worked. Thanks, Dad!

-Sweet.
-It's good.

Hey, Mr. Stewart, how's Miley?

Well, it's noon and she's still holed
up in her room, if that tells you anything.

Hey, bud; How you doing?

Okay. Except I had this awful dream

where I forgot the National Anthem
in front of thousands of people.

[CHUCKLES]
That wasn't a dream.

You couldn't play along for like a minute?

Oh, sorry, let's not think about it anymore.

Let's watch some TV. Get your mind off of it.

[Woman:] Everyone is talking about
Hannah Montana's massive mistake.

♫ Through yonder window breaks...

[MAN SPEAKING SPANISH]

I am so sorry you had to see that, Bearie.

Bearie the bear?

-You couldn't do better than that?
-I was three!

And I'm not changing his name
now, that would just confuse him.

-Here you go, Miley.
-I'm too upset to eat.

I'm not.

Well, listen, after tonight, when
Hannah performs on "Top Rockers,"

nobody's even gonna remember
she screwed up the National Anthem.

-What?
-Top Rockers. I love that show!

Made the call this morning. It's all set.

Daddy; I can't perform on
"Top Rockers," that's a live show.

What if I mess up again?

Miley, what's going on? You've
never had stage fright before.

These are very good. What did you do to them?

I mean, I have never had
people laughing at me before.

Mile, that's not gonna happen again.

Actually, I just put in just a splash
of vanilla and a hint of cinnamon.

Daddy!

Mile, listen, if you wanna
put this thing behind you,

you gotta get back on the
horse, just like Uncle Earl.

Uncle Earl forgot the words
to the National Anthem?

No, Uncle Earl fell off a horse.

Took four of us to get that
fat, old coot back up there.

I just don't wanna get laughed at again.

Wow. And that's exactly how Oliver feels.

And you bailed on him.

Ironic, isn't it?

Just stop your flapping and eat your flapjacks.

Mile,

everybody gets nervous.

But the longer you wait,
the tougher it's gonna get.

I guess you're right. I
just gotta do this, don't I?

But what if I forget the
words to one of my songs?

Or I forget to put my costume on?

Then I'd be singing in my underwear.

That'd be quite a show.

[Buzzing-zz]
zzzz ♪ zzzz

Stupid selfish bees!

How much honey do you need?

Come on, Oliver.

Miley really needs us there
tonight. You can't just bail on her.

-Oh, you mean like she did to me?
-But she knows how you feel now.

Leonardo DiCaprio threw a foam finger at her.

Hasn't she suffered enough?

Let me think; No.

Oliver!

Oh, here we are in Happy Bunnyland, Tokyo.

[MIMICKING FOOTSTEPS]

Oh, no, what's that?

[MIMICKING FOOTSTEPS]

It's 'Jack-zilla'! Run for your bunny lives!

[ROARING]
Agrh!

What are you looking at?

Jackson, you have to stop.

You're hopping down a bunny trail of no return.

You don't know what you're talking about.

Of course I do. I was like you once.

But I'm a veggie man now.

I even worked out this morning.

It's like I have the energy
of a 5-year-old again.

Great. Tell it to someone who cares.

When you're ready to get that
candy monkey off your back,

call me.

Well, I don't need any help,
all right? I'm perfectly fine.

Here you go, sweetie. Here's your... Oh, dear!

Oh, don't pick that up, honey,
it's filthy. We'll get another one.

What's happening to me?

Hey, Jackson. Beautiful day for a walk, isn't it?

[Exclaims]

Ladies.

With some pretty ladies to go on a walk with.

Hey, guys, wait up, I'll come with you.

See, girls?

That's what too much sugar will do to you.

[Grunting]

Guys, wait up! Ah...

They make these chairs smaller?

You're a speedy little guy, aren't you?

Come on, guys!

[Grunting]
Auhh!

Help me!

Help me! Help me!

[Shudders]

I can see my feet again.
My skinny, skinny, little feet.

That's it. That is it!

You don't own me anymore, old devil sugar!

[Mouthing] I love you.

No! No!

Now, bud, you've done this a million times.

You got nothing to be nervous about.

Then why am I sweating through my wig?

You're gonna do fine.

I got all the confidence in the world in you.

Okay, just remember, if her mouth is open

and nothing's coming out, you cut to commercial.

No worries, honey.

And I mean 'pronto'.

Lola, I can't remember
anything. What am I gonna do?

Don't worry, I got your back.

Oh, cue cards. Great idea.

-What if I forget how to read?
-Get a grip.

This is the life, hold on tight.
This is the dream, it's all you need.

Hey, you're right. You know, that's great advice.

What advice? Those are the lyrics to your song.

Of course they are! I'm not nervous. I'm good.

-Places, Miss Montana.
-Help me!

I will. Just remember, keep your eyes on me.

Right. What song is that from?

That's not a song, that was the advice!

Oh, boy.

Oh, great, what's Oliver doing here?

-Maybe he came to support a friend.
-Or maybe he came to laugh at me.

Could be. Either way, good luck.

Four, three, two...

HOST: And now, live and acoustic,
Top Rockers is proud to present!

Give it up for Hannah Montana!

[GUITARS TRUMMING]

[♫] Take the world, shake and stir

And that's what I got going on

I throw my cares up in the air

And I don't think they're coming down

Yeah, I love how it feels right now

Still loving how it feels right now

Down in front!

[Humming]

You never know where you'll...

And I'm gonna take my...

I'm still getting it wrong

Hold on tight

ALL: [♫] And this is the dream, it's all I need

You'll never know where you'll find
it And I'm gonna take my time, yeah

I'm still getting it right, this is the life

And you were worried.

A whole new scene and I'm
swimming with a new crowd

I'm breaking down the old four walls

And I'm building them up from the ground

Yeah, I love how it feels right now

[Audience cheering]

[♫] Who said, who said I won't be Superman?

I say, I say that I know I can

Who said, who said I can't be President?

I say, I say you ain't seen nothing yet

Who said?

Thank you, all.

You know, I had a rough patch
at the beginning of the show

and an even rougher patch earlier this week.

But I learned something that
I should've known all along.

Good friends don't bail on you.

And they're always there
to catch you if you fall.

-We love you, Hannah!
-I love you, too!

I love you all! Thank you everybody. Good night.

I love you, Jackson.

That's right. I'm talking to you, big boy.

You're not real.

Can I have a bite of that, big boy?

[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]

I don't think I can do this.

Come on, Oliver, you just gotta stay positive.

Okay.

-I'm positive I can't do this.
-Yes, you can.

You were there for me and
I'm gonna be there for you.

[Exclaiming]

I love the energy I've seen
today, I love the passion.

But most of all I love that we're almost done.

Stewart, Oken, take us home, please.

Okay, remember, all you have to do is die. Go.

Oh, Romeo.

Poison, I see, hath been his timeless end.

Oh, Romeo.

And now I die.

[GASPING]

[Bell ringing-♪]

I see the light.

Again, longer than it took him to write the play.