03x24 - Judge Me Tender

[bunniefuu]

Let's get crazy

Get up and dance

Take a swing, Do your thing

It's worth taking a chance

Let's get crazy

Yes! Kick up your heels

Don't miss out, Time to shout

Always keeping it real

Let's get crazy, Crazy

You certainly brung it, dawg.

I just wish you would've left it at home. Byron?

Well, Andy, as my dear mum always said,

"If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."

Yo, H.M., so, what does our guest judge have to say?

I love your shoes.

Really, Hannah, love, just cause you're filling in for Kara

doesn't mean you have to be as boring as she is.

Just kidding, Kara.

Not really.

Why are you still here?

America's Top Talent will be right back

with our next contestant, Oliver Oken!

You get the limo out front.

Hottest styles,every shoe,every color.

Yea when your famous it can be kinda fun.

It's really you but no one ever discovers.

Who would've thought that a girl like me

Would double as a superstar?

You get the best of both worlds.

Chill it out,take it slow,

then you rock out the show.

You get the best of both worlds.

Mix it all together and you know that

It's the best of both worlds.

Hannah Montana S03E24 Judge Me Tender

We're back in 30, people.

Surprise!

How could you guys not tell me?

Because we knew you'd say Oliver couldn't be on the show.

-And you were right. -Great. We're on the same page.

What page?

The page before you forgive me

because he's gonna be really really good,

and you'll see there was nothing to worry about,

and if I'm lucky right now, the announcer's voice is gonna say:

And we're back in ten.

Thank you. Bye.

Hey! You know what?

One of these days you're gonna run out of breath

then I'm gonna come up with my own run-on sentence

without any periods, commas or punctuation whatsoever!

And now back to America's Top Talent!

So, my man, in honor of our guest judge here,

which Hannah song are you gonna drop on us tonight?

The brilliant Let's Do This.

Of course, all of her songs are brilliant

because she's such a great artist.

And, uh, so I hear, kind and caring and forgiving.

And hates surprises.

Just in case you were wondering.

Do you know what I was wondering?

If you're gonna sing before Andy's

head starts sprouting stubble.

[Mitchel Musso - Let's Do This]

I rode all night on a big ol' bus

You came a long way to be with us

You paid good money

To see a show

Let's get ready 'cause here we go

Get on your feet 'cause I'm plugged in

So come on Let's do this

I'll turn it on

I'll crank it up

I'll show you all what I'm made of

I'll get loud I'll wear it out

I'll bring the roof in this house down

I know just what you came here for

And I want to hear you screaming more

Get on your feet

You know you can't resist

Let's do this

Let's do this

Let's do this Yeah!

You know what I can't resist?

Tellin' you you have talent.

Good job.

Way to go, Oliver!

Oken.

Oliver Oken.

Yep.

Never heard that name before. Very interesting.

Actually, it's my first Oken.

Kinda like a token Oken.

You know, for just hearing this name the first time today,

I think that's pretty darn clever.

OK. Byron?

Well, Mr. Oken,

I have to say I find myself completely appalled...

...by how much I liked that. Well done.

Well done? He was fantastic!

He is so much better than you were at the...

The beginning of the song.

Where I thought you were just a little pitchy.

But...

Good job, Otto.

See, I don't even know his name.

'Cause I've never met him before.

Is it commercial yet?

Whoo, baby!

Now, that is what I call a state of the art nose hair trimmer.

Listen to that power.

Stubborn nose hairs, you are about to be cut down to size.

Oh, boy.

Hey, Dad, um...

Have you been in a situation where you're kinda stuck,

and you don't know what to do or say next?

Uh, nope. No idea what you're talking about. Gotta go, bye.

Dad, I just got a traffic ticket.

You what?

Oh, no, Dad, not again.

I have very manly nose hairs.

I get it from your Aunt Pearl.

Jackson Rod Stewart, how could you?

Dad, I swear, I made a totally complete...

...ish stop.

And in my defense,

I had a hundred percent visibility

and there wasn't anybody within blocks of me.

Except for the cop.

Who was hiding.

And I'm not even sure if that's legal...

...ish.

I don't want to hear any excuses.

You broke the law

and that's why you got a ticket for $325?

I know. It's outrageous.

I wouldn't pay it if I were you.

I'm not gonna pay it. You are.

Where am I gonna get $325?

I don't work for Rico anymore.

Oh, no. You wouldn't. Not...

Oh.

Come on, Dad.

What's the big deal?

Three hundred and twenty-five bucks. That's the big deal.

Have fun cleaning, law breaker.

Was that a bat?

Not the neck! Not the neck!

- Hello! - Ah!

I brought a little BM for my BFF.

Please tell me that's a blueberry muffin.

Of course it is.

What did you think...?

Oh...

So, uh, we just wanted to make sure that you were, you know...

Not mad?

I told you guys that last night.

Sure, it's a little bit awkward,

but as long as y'all understand

our friendship can't influence the way I vote,

- I'm cool with it. - Absolutely.

Right, I mean we wouldn't want it any other way.

Uh... unless, you know, it's right on the line,

could go either way.

Speaking of either way, go that way.

- Right. - Bye.

You know he didn't really mean that.

I mean he'd never want you to play favorites

'cause that's the kind of friend he is.

A good friend. A best friend.

A friend who would never let you down.

Oh, cool. For a minute there I thought

you were gonna pressure me or something.

I'm sorry. I just really want him to win.

And he will, if he's the best.

I'm just so surprised that you're so on board with this

considering how it could affect your relationship.

Our relationship? What do you mean?

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Listen.

I've gotta get to class.

Can you sing for us once, please?

OK, all right, just this once.

Uh huh, uh huh

Ugh!

OK, I know what you're thinking. OK?

But my Ollie-pop and I have a very strong,

trusting relationship

And I am totally not worried, I mean,

Just because girls are gonna be all over him

doesn't mean he's gonna be affected by it.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Be patient, babe. I'll get you next, babe.

Are you sure that you're OK with this?

Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine.

He's just having fun with all the new attention.

It's not like he's treating me any different.

Hey, babe!

My fans wanna take pictures of me by the ocean.

So, uh...

I'll call ya, babe.

To the beach!

He called me babe.

- Twice. - Ow, ow, ow!

Sorry! I'm sorry!

I was just trying to rub it in.

To what? My bones?

Miley, what am I gonna do?

That show is turning my Ollie-pop star

into an Ollie-poop star.

OK, I know we agreed that

we'd never say "I told you so".

So, I'm gonna text you, OK?

Miley!

What? I'm just so fast.

Look, if I could just boot him off, I would.

Why can't you?

As soon as he doesn't do a good job,

I'm gonna drop kick his

babe-calling butt right out of the studio.

But... wait! What if he keeps being good?

Oh, come on, Lilly. Let's not dwell on the positive.

Two waters.

So, you'd vote for him again even after

the way he's treating me?

Well, I'd have to.

I couldn't say that he was bad if he wasn't.

I mean, we all agreed that I'd vote my conscience.

Do you have that in writing?

Lilly!

Well, what's more important?

Your conscience or my happiness?

Well, that's not really fair, because technically,

it's not my conscience, it's Hannah Montana's.

And, you know, that has to do with all corporate things:

Contracts, legal stuff, yadda, yadda, yadda...

Very complicated.

I'll tell you something that's not complicated.

A friend would vote Oliver off.

And if you can't do that for me,

then I guess we're not as close as I thought.

Oh come on, Lilly, you can't be that mad!

Oh, she really is that mad.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Stop tickling, Babe Two. And hey, no pushing, Babe Six.

Someone may trip and we don't need another sprained babe.

Excuse me! Excuse me!

Coming through! Long-time friend.

Knew him before his voice changed!

- Oliver, I need to talk to you. - What?

Miley, I'm kinda busy right now.

- Give me your gum. - Why?

Just do it!

Hey, guys!

Who wants fresh Ollie gum?

Fetch!

And now you're free.

Man! Look at that.

They can't get enough of me.

Oh, my gosh, my locker.

They like me. I mean...

They really like me!

Yeah, sure. They like you.

But what about Lilly?

I know, she's been acting kind of weird lately.

- She's been weird? - Yeah.

And it's kinda been harshin' my mood.

I'm gonna harsh more than your mood.

Now listen to me, Oliver Oken...

- Give it to me! - It's mine!

It's my gum. I saw it first. OK?

I am Babe Number Two, you're Babe Number Six!

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Smokin' Oken can chew some more.

Hey, Miley, the fans are calling, so, uh...

...I'll see you later.

Thanks for trying.

Ohhh.

I've lost my Ollie-pop, haven't I?

Not if I have anything to do with it.

Smokin' Oken is about to be broken.

Let's go, babe.

One stupid mistake, and it's,

"Off to the attic, boy."

He wouldn't send Miley to the attic.

"Oh, no, she's got the pressures of the pop star life."

Blah!

Would I be up here if my juggling career had taken off?

I think not!

Of course I'm no good.

I never get a chance to practice.

'Cause I'm always being punished!

Jackson Rod Stewart!

It wasn't me!

It was a young boy with three balls and a dream.

And I'm a father with a scab in my nose

and another ticket in my hand!

Another ticket?

There's no way!

Nobody pulled me over.

I bet it's a set up.

Or some vast international conspiracy

that I only have 24 hours to figure out!

I gotta go!

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep...

- Jackson. - We have no time!

It's one of those red light photo tickets.

And it shows clear as day that...

I've been way too hard on you.

What?

Yeah, I mean, uh...

A very wise man once wrote,

"Everybody makes mistakes.

Everybody has those days."

Come on, now. Let's go down to the kitchen

bake some brownies and wrassle, like old times, come on.

Let me see the ticket, Dad.

Why dwell on the past?

Hey, those brownies ain't gonna make themselves.

Robby Ray Stewart!

In my defense, that was the fastest

yellow light in the history of time.

And possibly a glitch in that whole space-time matrix thing.

Or?

I broke the law and I need to face the consequences.

- Which means? - Uh...

I probably need to go to traffic school and pay a hefty fine.

And...

Have fun, Pops.

Hey, boys! Fresh blood!

Not the neck! Not the neck!

OK, the neck, but not the hair!

You loved him last week. Will you love him again?

Oliver Oken.

Love?

I love puppies and I love chocolate cake,

but this guy? Please.

Right, dawg?

Don't "dawg" me while dawg's singin', dawg.

[Mitchel Musso - Welcome To Hollywood]

I felt this time that we had something

You rolled your eyes like it was nothing new

You only think about you

Put your shades on not to show it

Don't pretend that you don't know it's true

You only think about...

If you look good I guess I should

Welcome to Hollywood

Boy, ya better live it up before it brings you down

Welcome to Hollywood

Just got a grip on how to get around

Doggy Dog is to be seen in the tabloid magazine

Seventeen a billionaire

Daddy's money, do you care?

Welcome to Hollywood

Remember, for Oliver to move into the semis

all three judges must vote yes.

Dude, you are what this show is all about.

Finding talent and

giving it that once-in-a-lifetime chance to be a star.

Good job.

Well...

"Once-in-a-lifetime."

That is a little dramatic, don't you think?

I'm sure, if this doesn't work out,

there'll be plenty more opportunities.

And besides, it only takes one of us to vote him off.

So whatever happens... happens.

Byron, you hate everybody.

Do your thing.

I do hate everyone.

But not him.

I love everything about you.

Except your skinny jeans.

I'm chafing just looking at you.

But to deny you your well-earned spot in the semifinals

for something that has nothing to do

with your talent would be, well...

Even I wouldn't be that cruel.

So it's up to you, H.M.

Send Mr. Oken on...

Or put an end to his career right here, right now.

You did great.

Welcome to Hollywood. Congratulations.

You were so amazing!

Oh, thank you.

You guys are great. Hold on! Two seconds.

I'm sorry, guys.

Hey! Hey!

I made it to the semis. How cool is that?

Yeah.

Congratulations. Hope you're happy.

Of course I'm happy.

Isn't that what it's all about?

Winning?

Not if it means losing the most important

people in your life.

What're you talking about?

Look around you.

Oliver, what's missing?

An agent.

Miley, Miley.

Lilly left.

But what's it matter?

You made it to the semis...

...babe.

- Hey. - Hey.

- I'm so sorry, Lilly. - I know, I know, you had to.

He was wonderful.

Curse you, gods of talent!

Look, honey, this wouldn't have happened if

you would've picke a boyfriend with no ambition,

no goals, a total deadbeat!

What were you thinking?

Well, he was a deadbeat when I met him.

Men. I know.

You think you know them,

then all of a sudden, they want to...

...do something with their lives.

It's ridiculous.

What?

And then there's Jackson.

Like you've never seen a guy with

one of these hanging out his nose before?

'Cause, apparently, in this house it happens all the time!

Well, that's it. I guess I don't have a boyfriend anymore.

Oh, come on, Lilly. You don't need him.

He doesn't deserve you.

You're right. I don't need him.

In fact, I'm better off without him!

If he came crawling back on his hands and knees, I wouldn't...

Oh, my gosh, he's here!

Whoa! Slow down.

Be strong. And remember...

Yeah, I'm better off without him.

Yes.

What do you want?

- My girlfriend back. - Oh.

You think you can just waltz in here with that

"Lilly, I'm sorry" look on your face,

and she's just gonna run into your arms like nothing even...

Ollie-pop!

Lucky guess.

Lilly, I'm so sorry. I've been such a jerk.

I got caught up in all the attention, but Miley's right.

None of this means anything to me if I can't share it with you.

Will you please forgive me?

Fine. I guess we will.

Could you just hold on one second?

Uh, Miles, can you read the serial number on this thing?

Yep.

"I-M-A..."

I-M-A...

- Dork. - Dork.

Finally. You finally admit it.

- Come on. I'll help you. - Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

I'm unusual not so typical

Way too smart to be waiting around

Tai chi practicing, snowboard champion

I could fix the flat on your car

Rockin' it wherever we are

'Cause I really am a rock star

'Cause I really am a rock star

Yeah

I have nothing good to say about that.

And I'm the nice one.