01x02 - There Will Be Food

[bunniefuu]

I'm Hank.
I was your typical
emergency room doctor.

Until I got fired.

ADMINISTRATOR:
You let a billionaire
hospital trustee die

to save some kid
off the street.

I made a judgment call.

You made a mistake.

HANK: This is my brother.

I'm Evan R. Lawson, CPA.

HANK: He took me away
from my troubles
and to the Hamptons.

And suddenly,
I had a chance to become
a whole new kind of doctor.

It turns out the wealthy
and not so wealthy out here

could use a guy who
makes house calls.

So, I've got a second chance
to do what I do best.

What...

Can I help you?

It's an abomination,
what you're doing.

You can't separate
an egg from a yolk.

It's like separating
the Earth from the moon,

or thunder from lightning,
or Hall from Oates.

You just compared Daryl Hall
to the Earth.

What do you know about taste?

And egg whites happen to be
loaded with protein, low in
calories, have no fat, and...

Tastes like it.

Oh!
What did you do?

In the bowl, Hank.
The goal is to get
the egg in the bowl.

Look. I spent years at a job
where I had to scrub in
and out countless times a day.

I'm messy at home
because I can be.
Now look, I'll clean up.

Oh, really?
You'll clean up? Like you
clean up your clothes?

Or the towel
on the bathroom floor?

Who are you?

All I'm saying is,
it's been really great
living with you again.

You know,
it's like old times.

Sharing a place
with my big brother,
and the bonding

and everything...
Wait for it. Here it comes.

But you are the biggest slob
I've ever met in my life.

So, I make a mess,
I clean it up.

No. You make a mess
and I clean it up.

What does it matter?
It's our home.

It matters because A,
you're a slob.

And B... It's not just
our home. It's also going
to be our office.

HankMed's workstation.
I... That...

Check it out.
I made a blueprint.

Okay. So, I've divided
the space into quadrants.

Quadrants?
It's four parts.

I know what
a quadrant is.

Work environment
in quadrant one, sleeping
quarters in quadrant two.

Stop saying "quadrant."

Wet bar in...
Wet bar over here.

Wet bar?
Yeah, wet bar.

That's pretty cool, right?
It's what people do out here.

What? Get soused?
Yeah, basically.

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

Are you going to
get that?

Uh...

No, ah, ah, ah, ah!
Work before food.

This is Hank. Hi.
Of course. Just text me
the address. Okay.

Yeah?
I just...

No. No.

All right.

Have fun.

HANK: Hey.
Hey.

Everything okay?

Yeah. Follow me.

Sure. What's up?

Good morning.

Just play along.

Dr. Lawson, Sheila Montgomery.
So glad you could make it.

Me, too.

From what Jill tells me,
you and this turnkey,
center hall,

modern colonial
are made for each other.

I had no idea you were
so familiar with
my architectural leanings.

I surprise people.

Dr. Lawson,
allow me to show you
the great room.

I don't want to waste
your time. What?

I'm not really
a big great room man.

But this, however,
is truly a great,
great room.

One of the greatest.
And it's really great.

Sorry to pry.
I couldn't help
but notice.

What did you do
to your arm?

Oh, burned myself taking
cookies out of the oven.
Occupational hazard.

It's a little realtor trick.
Before you show a place,
bake fresh cookies.

It makes a house
smell like a home.

Aw. Well, that explains
my sudden craving
for a glass of milk.

Did you see a doctor
about that?

Oh. Don't worry, Hank.
Sheila's on top of it.

She has to be,
as a diabetic.

Diabetic? You really
should see your doctor,
get that looked at.

I will.
I just have a full day
of potential renters.

If you leave that wound
untreated, it could get
very serious.

You are
absolutely right.

Let me show you
the master bedroom.

Little doctor trick.

When you're a doctor
with a busy diabetic
who has an untreated burn,

you treat it.

I want you to shower
the wound, using soap,

three to four times a day.
Make sure you pat it dry

and cover it
with a clean bandage.

If it starts looking red,
or puss-ey, I want you to
call me immediately.

And watch your sugars,
okay?

Thanks.

Are you sure you don't want
to see the basement?
It was just renovated.

Hank has to
get back to work.

Yes. I do.

Then, promise me
you'll come back and
see the house at sunset.

Oh, I don't...
It's magical then.

It is?

Key's under the mat.
Bring a bottle of wine.

I guarantee
it's the most romantic view
in the Hamptons.

How can I
say no to that?

Why did I say
yes to that?

Because you're
a good guy.

And who is she again?

Sheila's a neighbor.
Her COBRA coverage ran out,

and I offered to help,
but she's too proud.

Thanks for coming,
and being so cool.

Cool? That's me,
you know.

Mr. Cool.
No, no. Look,
I'm happy to do it.

Just give me a little
warning next time?

My playing along skills
are still coming along.

Yeah, well, hopefully,
there won't be a next time.

I'm sending letters
to all the patients
who've been frozen out

of the hospital,
letting them know that
the Hamptons free clinic

is on schedule to
open in the fall.

Congratulations.
Well, thank you.

For some reason,
I find myself craving
chocolate chip cookies.

You want to grab
a bite to eat?

I only have 30 minutes
until my next meeting.

We'll take big bites.

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

Hey, Divya.
What time is it?

Oh. Okay, okay.
Rain check?

We'll see.

"We'll see."

Hey, guys.
Sorry I'm late.

TUCKER: Well, rule number one
of concierge doctoring, Hank.

You don't keep
the rich people waiting.

Good to know.

Yeah, actually,
come to think of it,

concierge doctors
in the Hamptons
by definition

are required to be
arrogant, boring, and
quick to scope out Libby

[LAUGHS]
When she's in a bikini.

Cut me some slack.
I'm new at this.
But also good to know.

You seem to lack
all of those qualities.

Wow. Thank you guys so much.

Okay. Shall we remove
the sutures?

Yes. Should we
just do it out here?

I don't see why not.

This will be my first
suture extraction pool-side.

[EXCLAIMS] The surgeon
did nice work.

TUCKER: He was under
a lot of pressure.

Why? Was your father
standing over him?

No. I was.

Imagine being Mozart's
piano tuner, but then
more stressful than that.

I guess your dad
didn't visit?
Right. Busy man.

We're all busy, Hank.

All right.
You may feel
a little pull.

TUCKER: I'll live.

Tucker, we never received
your father's signed
form of consent.

I'd be happy
to forge one.

You really should
see his forgeries.
They are works of art.

Yeah, you know what?
How about we get an original?

TUCKER: Yeah.
Just as soon as
Dad gets back.

Oh. There's a retirement party
this afternoon
Mr. Bryant is invited to,

and Tucker has to
represent the family.
You guys want to come?

Retirement party?
Sounds like a can't miss.
Unfortunately, I'll miss it.

[TUCKER LAUGHING]

HANK: Okay. You're all done.

Hank, it might be
a good thing for us to go.

In what way would it be
good for us to go
to a retirement party?

Come on, Hank. Old people?
High incomes?
Higher blood pressure?

It's your prime demo.

Hank, the kid's right.

Who's the retiree?

Well, I'm ready to leave.

We just got here.

You know what?
I'm actually with Hank
on this one.

The average age here
is dead.

KLINER: Everyone, please
welcome Tess Premoli,
as she premieres for us

what will be her final piece
with the San Francisco
Ballet next Sunday.

Ballerinas.

[ALL APPLAUDING]

Wait a minute.
That's the retiree?

[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]

[ALL APPLAUDING]

That was beautiful.

She certainly is.

Hottest card-carrying
member of the AARP
I've ever seen.

Plus, as a retired person,
it won't cost as much
to take her to the movies.

Forget it. I called dibs.
Okay? Any hot ballerina
is all mine.

That's one of
my ground rules.
Okay.

Anyway, yours is
over there.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Who is that guy
Jill's talking to?

Not you.

KLINER: I would
love to help you out,
but I'm sorry.

You already... Wait.
Don't walk away.
I'm not finished with this.

Listen, I am not going to
have this discussion here.

This conversation
is not over.

Hi. How's your neighbor?

Sheila?
She's okay.
Better.

Are you okay?

Mmm. I'm fine.

Maybe you should
slow down there.

Now that would
defeat the purpose.

Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you very much.
I'm very happy to hear it.

Thank you for having me.
Thank you.

Outstanding work.
Having sat through
The Nutcracker

every Christmas
since I was,
like, three,

I can say that with
full confidence.

Having played my share
of Sugar Plum Fairies,
I can say thank you.

[LAUGHING]

Evan R. Lawson,
CFO of HankMed.

And so much more.

MAN: Oh, there she is.

So... Yeah.
Excuse me. Hi.

Feel this. Silk.

How much do you think
this benefit costs?

I don't know.
A lot?

[SCOFFS] Twice that.
At least.

Do you know how much
these things run?

I don't.
I do.

See, we've thrown parties
at the hospital.

We get polyester.
He might as well
just burn the money.

What happened
with that man?

What man?

The one who apparently
dared you to chug
three glasses of wine

before he got back,
or there'd be trouble.

[STAMMERING] Or is that
none of my business?

Bingo.
Got it.

Hey.
Hey.

Hi, guys.
Tucker, Libby, Jill.

Hi, Jill.
Jill, Tucker, Libby.

Hi, Jill.
We're going to go
grab a bite to eat.

It's wall-to-wall
food here.

Yes. But no one can tell me
if the tuna is farmed or wild.

Farmed has, on average,
five times less omega threes
and is, like,

three times higher
in mercury.

And they can't say
whether the grapes were grown
with or without pesticides.

We're talking residues
such as azinphos,
carbofuran, metalaxyl.

But, as a doctor,
I'm sure that's what
you were already thinking.

JILL: Thank you.
Oh. Yeah.

[CLEARS THROAT]
Totally.

But your date seems to be
having a good time.

Oh, no. This is not a date.
Oh, it's not a date.

BOTH: Aw.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

What do you kids
call it these days?

I just...

Listen.
Why don't we go
back to my place?

You know, Dad's not home,
and Libby stocked the fridge
with food so organic

you can taste the dirt.

Awesome.

Would you like the rib eye
or the tenderloin?

Yes.

Hi.
Hi.

You're the doctor,
right?

I'm actually
not the doctor,
medically speaking,

but I run HankMed,
which is a...

It's a concierge
doctor service.

So, great...
Great party, huh?

I just feel like
this place is so cool.

The wine and the food
is so, so cool.

Yeah, I hate it.

I hate it, too.
Do you want to bail?

I can't duck out
on my own party.

Can I buy you dinner?

It's free,
and I have some?

Well, you haven't even
touched yours.

Are you not hungry?
I'm starving.

Somebody made this
for me.

I don't want to sound
spoiled, but I can't
tell you how sick I am

of grilled fish
and fresh fruit.

Now that I'm being
put out to pasture,
I'm craving all that stuff

I've had to avoid
my whole life.

I know this charming
little spot that specializes
in just that cuisine.

Wow.

Yeah. I don't play around
when it comes to junk.

[LAUGHING]
I don't even know
where to begin.

Well, uh...

Convention says the cheese
crunches are the amuses.

They're light.
They're cheesy.

They leave your
fingers orange.

The nachos are
the hors d'oeuvres.

They also leave
your fingers orange.

And then,
you've earned
the dog.

The dog.

Yes. The dog.

The dog must be earned.

I can't remember
the last time
I had a...

What if I want to
start with the dog?

I love a rebel.

[IN FRENCH]

Last time I checked,
the drinking age
in New York was 21.

Well, while technically
the Hamptons are
in New York,

they actually occupy
a time-space continuum
of their own.

Oh, is that right?
Mmm-hmm.

And this is
a Chateau d'Avignon
from 1990.

The greater crime
would be to not drink it.

Well, think how much
more aged it will be
when you're of age.

In five years.

So, this wine is
older than you?

Jill. Age is
just a number.

Right. Yeah,
everything's just a number.
That's how you people think.

ALL: You people?

Mmm. Like Mr. Kliner.
He was our biggest donor.

He had plenty of money
to throw a retirement party
for a ballerina,

but not enough
to honor his pledge
to the free clinic.

And for the record,
free clinics,
they're not free.

Big misnomer.
They're expensive.

Only you can't
call them that or
nobody would come.

Hey, you know what?
Maybe... Why don't we
walk it off a little?

You want to go for a walk?
Yes. Let's go.

Okay. Let's go for a walk.
Okay.

Okay.
Come with me, Jill.

I mean,
just take the items
in this house.

That model boat.
Or that ancient map.

Or these guitars,
signed by Lennon.
John, not Vladimir.

If it were Vladimir,
that would really be
worth something.

Each one of these gems
could float a year
of my clinic.

But I guess paying
God-knows-what for
a pair of torn jeans is...

Oh. Oh, my God.
Are these really
Springsteen's?

That, or they're
running low
on closet space.

You're cute.

Okay, then.

And voilà.
Mustard, relish, and onions,
just as God intended it.

No ketchup?

Ketchup is for dilettantes
and three-year-olds.

Well, all right, then.

Okay.

I am so going to
enjoy this.

And not just for
the reason you think.

Mmm.

Yeah?

Mmm-hmm.

Guess it was
worth the wait.

Mmm.

Mmm.

What happened to me?

I'm not sure.
Did you eat today?

No. I was too nervous.
I did have
a glass of wine.

Or two.

Do you remember
having any chest pains?

Shortness of breath?
Headache?

No. Nothing that...
Not that I can remember.

Okay.
Tess, this is important.
Are you on any meds?

Do you take
recreational dr*gs
of any kind?

No. No,
nothing like that.

Am I going to be okay?
I have my last show
next week.

For some reason,
your blood pressure
went down

to a level
that didn't allow blood to
be pumped to your brain.

It may have been a reaction
to your not eating,

and then drinking alcohol
while being tired,
and so you fainted.

You should just...
You should go home,
eat, and get some rest.

And call me
if there are
any problems.

Okay. I will do that.
Thank you.

Okay. Sure.

I'll be right back,
okay?

Okay.

EVAN: Thank you
for handling that.

You have no idea
how embarrassing
this is.

Or maybe you do.

Long story.
She's fine.

Wow. Two women passed out.
Mom would be so proud.

Shut up.
Are you okay
to drive?

Yeah. Unless they've started
spiking the Arctic Freezees,
I'm fine.

Good.

Hey, Jill. We're here.

Hi.

How long have I been out?

A couple of minutes.
Give or take an hour.

[SIGHING]

Let me help you.

I'm fine. I'm fine.

Did you want...

The letters for my clinic.
They're pointless now.

Throw them away. Please.
They're garbage anyway.

Oh, and... Thank you
for driving me home.

I'm sure this is not
how you expected
your night to go.

Hey. You surprise people.

Hmm.

TESS: Dr. Lawson?

Hey.

Hi.

HANK: Is everything okay?

I'm sorry to bother you.
I was just wondering
if we could talk. In private?

Of course. Yeah.
Let's take a walk.

I wasn't
entirely honest
last night.

I've been dancing since
I was three. Professionally,
since I was five.

And don't get me wrong,
I love it. I loved it.

But we take a pounding.

And sometimes, dancers,
for the pain,
the anxiety of performance,

of weight,
of trying to stay the best,
we take things.

Pain medication?
Diet pills?

Anti-anxiety.

Are you on all three?

Sometimes. Yeah.

Do you think that's
what caused me to faint?

It's possible.
I can't know without
doing some blood work.

I'd love to have Divya,
my associate,
do a full work-up.

I have to be
able to dance
next week.

Dancing has been
my whole life,

and it's going
to be over soon.

Hey, guys!
That's so weird.

I was just
going for a run.

And... I just
run into people.
What's going on?

We were just
going for a walk.

Yeah, I was
just showing Tess
the dunes.

Oh, dynamite dunes.
Okay. Cool.

Yeah. I should get going.
I don't want to be late.

So, it was...
It was really nice
seeing you guys.

Yeah, you, too, Tess.
Great seeing you.

Did I or did I not
call dibs?

Relax.
I wasn't making a move.

"Making a move"?
You actually
just said that?

I've been
out of the game.

For how long?
Since the sinking of
the Lusitania?

Wow.
So, what were you
doing, then?

Talking.
That's all I can say.

If you're pulling
doctor-patient
confidentiality, I'm exempt.

No. Actually,
you're not.

Need I remind you,
I'm the CFO of HankMed.
Okay? CFO.

Who is also making
a move on my patient.

Did she ask about me?

We weren't talking
about you.

Okay.
That wasn't
my question.

I like her.

And it's not just because
she's a ballerina, either.

Although I must say
that doesn't hurt.

Look. If you like her,
then ask her out.

Did she tell you
to tell me that?

Yes, by my locker
before homeroom.

We did not
talk about you.

Okay.
Stop saying that.

Excuse me. Do you know
where I can find
James Harper?

Go Fish Yourself.

Excuse me?

That's the name of his boat.
Third boat down the pier.

[STAMMERING] Okay.
You could have just...
Thank you.

Excuse me.
Are you James Harper?

Name's Jim.
What do you want?

Hi. My name's
Hank Lawson.

You selling something?

Nope. I'm a doctor.

Have a nice day.

Quick guess.

Unless the yellow
in your eyes and your
complexion is from carrots,

and that paunch
in your mid-section is from
too many Budweisers,

my hunch is
you've got the symptoms
of Hep C.

You need to
take care of yourself.
I can help you.

Of course you can.

Let me guess.
Fill out some forms.
Sit and wait.

And wait, and wait.
I've been through
the system.

Done the patient history.
Gotten the piss-poor care,

and been charged
through the nose.
I'll pass.

I understand.
You don't understand

the first thing
about it, Doctor.

Look. Hey.
Can I at least give
you my card?

No.

I know you're
the Chief of
Neurosurgery,

but starting a
stereotaxic oncological
surgery program

will cost the hospital
millions in start-up
that we just don't have.

[MAN SHOUTING ON PHONE]

Could you yell
a little quieter,
please?

Okay. Yeah. I'm coming
down there to haggle
this out face to face.

Hi.
Hi.

Hi.
Hey.

Whatever I said last night,
whatever I did,
blanket apology.

I don't drink a lot.
In fact, the last time
I got that drunk,

I'd just gotten my degree
in Health Administration.

And yes,
I'm aware of the irony.

No. Hey. Listen.
You were a lady.

Then I must have
been really hammered.
Please, sit.

I'm not the woman
who makes a fool
of herself at a party.

I'm the woman
who makes fun
of that woman.

So, you judge. Nice.
Yes.

But only in the most
non-judgmental way.

Right.

It was a tough night.
I have been working on
that clinic for three years.

And when the economy
tanked, a lot of
the donors pulled out.

Kliner was my biggest,
best, and last hope.

I'm sorry.
Well, this should help.
The hangover, at least.

I have no money
to give you, but
I have some aspirin.

I hope you didn't buy
these. You know,
I do work in a hospital.

No, I stole them
from your hospital.

Mmm.

Okay. I have to go
and haggle with
the Chief of Radiology.

So, I didn't just
come bearing aspirin.
I could use your help.

Name it.
Jim Harper.

Jim Harper?
What about him?

I'd like to see
his medical file.

You read one of my letters.

I can't believe
you did that.

I glanced.

Okay, I read. I read.
Look, I think he has Hep C.

I can't give you
a patient's information
without their consent.

Well, Jim didn't seem
like the giving type.

You went to see him?

I can't believe you.

Do you have any idea
how wrong that is?
How unethical?

Not to mention
you completely
violated my trust

by even looking
at that letter.

I'm sorry, Jill. But
sometimes you've got to work
outside the system, right?

Bend the rules?
Break the law?

The system is broken.
You know that
as well as I do.

It's why you're
starting your clinic.

Was.

The man needs help.
Interferon probably.
I want to help him.

I can help him.

And if we are who we treat,
and we treat no one,
what does that make us?

I'm sorry, Hank.
Breaking the rules is not
part of my job description.

Well, maybe
it should be.

Hey.
Hi.

Everything okay?

Yeah.
Everything okay
with you?

Yeah, you texted me.
To come here.

You showed up
at the wrong mansion?

Hank, you've really
got to work on your
concierge doctoring.

I contacted you.
I'm Marshall Bryant.

You must be Dr. Lawson.

Hank.
Nice to meet you.

Oh, look what...
Look what he bought me.

Wow. Great plane.

Tucker, would you
give us a minute?

You're younger
than I imagined.

Most concierge
doctors around here

are on their third wives
and last legs.

Well, they've...
They've set the bar high.

Dr. Lawson, I want to
thank you for taking
such good care of my son.

Hank, please.
Tucker's quite
a young man.

He is that.

Sometimes, I feel
like I'm the kid
and he's the adult.

I know what you mean.

This is for you.
If it's not enough,
you'll let me know.

No, I'm sure it's fine.
Thanks.

I'd love to
offer you a drink,
but my jet is waiting.

Right.

Listen, Mr. Bryant...
While I have you...
I know you're a busy man.

Oh, boy.
Did Tucker's drug test
come back positive?

Did his... No. No.
This is not about
Tucker's health.

Not his physical health.

What is it about, then?

Well, I hope I'm not
overstepping any
boundaries, here.

Tucker seems to be
missing something
in his life.

See, I had
a similar situation
when I was his age.

My father...

Well, anyway...
Maybe you could spend
a little more time with him.

He seems like he could use
some more Dad time.

Huh.

Are you a psychiatrist?

No.

Psychotherapist?

No.
Right.

You're a concierge doctor.

Pretty simple concept.
Come when called.
Fix patient. Cash check.

With all due respect,
while that may be
what you're used to,

that's not how I do it.

However you do it, Hank,

you don't do it for us
anymore.

Let that check
be your severance,
hmm?

Hi. Sorry to be laying
in wait at your house, but
I have something for you.

Fine. I'll see
another property.

But it should have
a fabulous room,

and the person showing it
should have leprosy.

[LAUGHING]

Those are my conditions.
No.

Something better.

This was for a patient
who no longer
comes to the hospital.

It...
It's interferon.

We're overstocked.

Before this batch goes bad,
I thought maybe you knew
somebody who could use it.

All right.

Spielberg's pad is
down that way.

And, uh, Martha Stewart
has a modest little
mansion over there.

And the Seinfelds'
summer place is about
five palaces on the left.

You can't see it,
but it's over there.

You seem to be an expert
on the Hamptons. Did you
come here growing up?

No. I moved out
to the Hamptons
a couple of weeks ago.

Really?
Mmm-hmm.

Where are you from?

Different habitat.
Brooklyn, via Jersey.

But then Hank had
a little premature
mid-life crisis,

and... You know.

I guess I did
what any good brother
would do.

I sacrificed for family.

Yeah, that hut
you're living in
seems harrowing.

It's disgusting.
You know.

But sometimes, you've
just got to take one
for the team. I know.

Seriously, though,
it's been nice.

Life kind of dead-ended
for me in New York.

And I'm all about
opportunity, and it's
all opportunity out here.

Kind of like us right now.

Would you like to
grab lunch?

Oh... It's just I'm...
I'm having fun.
I don't want to ruin it.

Wait. What...

Food and I have
a contentious
relationship

ever since I was
a young dancer,
trying to make it.

It kind of
messed me up.

Hmm.

Then let me un-mess you.

[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]

I'm back.

I'll get my harpoon.

As inviting as that sounds,
I won't stay long.

The doctor's mantra.

Look, you know,
for what it's worth,

I'm not a big fan
of hospitals, myself.

In fact, I just
got fired by one
a few weeks ago.

Well, that's reassuring.

Not... No.
Not for medical reasons.

Look. Hospitals are
bureaucracies. Right?

Bureaucracies screw people.

They overcharge you
if you're insured, and they
really do it if you're not.

Just because they can.

You've got zero leverage
and no alternative,
so you get screwed.

It... It's like out here,
with the gas docks,

when they price gouge you
after a hurricane.
The system sucks.

But you're sick. And you're
going to get sicker
if you don't get treatment.

I'd like to help you.

That's what they all say.

Then, the bill comes.
There is no bill.

No, I'm going to
be here for you.

Week in, week out.

No red tape. No forms.
No harpoon.

Just me.

So, what's the catch?

You're the fisherman.
You tell me.

Wow. This is quite a spread.
What's on the menu?

Okay, so, the best meal
I've ever had in my entire
life was in Machu Picchu.

You ever been
to Machu Picchu?
Um, no.

If my company
doesn't perform there,
I haven't been.

Okay. Basically,
it's like heaven on earth.

Like, you have to go one day.
Like, everybody should go.

Tonight, I have
recreated that meal
in painstaking detail.

So, if you would,
Señorita...

Thank you.

Okay. Just take
a deep breath. Relax.

[EXHALES]
Okay.

[EXHALING]

Close your eyes.

I'm ready.
I'm there.

Mmm.

This is really good.

[SIGHING]

It tastes really good.
That's good.

It's... Yeah.
It's all about just
becoming one with the food.

Ready for bite two?

Mmm. That's delicious.
Wow.

Big points.

[LAUGHING]
I mean...

I've been on
a lot of dates
around the world,

but you're the first guy
to ever feed me.

Well, you're the first girl
I've ever fed. So...

Hey. Am I...

Uh, big time.

Would you excuse me
for one second?

Yeah.

Hey.
Hey.

So, first of all,
get out.

But before you do that,
just know I totally fixed her.
Problem solved.

Which problem
would we be
talking about?

Tess's eating problem.
The whole passing out
problem? All problems solved.

Me. Ask her.
Mind over matter.

[THUDDING]

[GASPING]
EVAN: What's happening?

She's aspirating.
The food is stuck
in her upper trachea.

Get the emergency
medical kit.

[GRUNTING]

[GAGGING]

Can I help,
or do you want me
to do something?

[EXCLAIMS] Okay.

Get it out.
I'm trying.

Is she breathing, or...

Oh, my God. Okay.

Were you eating
before you fainted?

Chorizo bouillabaisse.
It's a Peruvian specialty.

Chorizo?
The other night,
it was a hot dog.

Are you thinking
anaphylactic reaction
to nitrates?

Lines up.
No, it's not.

How can you be
so sure?

Because it's happened before,
and not just from nitrates.

Why didn't you
tell me this?

There are certain foods
that I love. That I crave.

That I... I can't have.
But sometimes, I do.

Were you eating this?

Yeah. Just a bite.

Okay. You're going on
a heart monitor,

and you're going to
eat a piece of
pepperoni pizza.

[BEEPING]

You really want me
to eat that?

You really want her
to eat that?

Yes, I really want her
to eat that.

EVAN: Step it up, Hank.

Okay. Tess, I want you to
take a big bite of the crust.

Whoa.
DIVYA: She's bradying down.

She's going into
cardiogenic shock.

Shock her. Hit her.

Feed her a Snickers.
Do something!

Be patient.

[MONITOR FLATLINING]

HANK: Hold on.
Wait, wait, wait.

[MONITOR RESUMES BEEPING]

You okay?

Yeah, I think so.

Stay down. Stay down.
Let your body adjust.

What is it? What's wrong
with her? Is she allergic
to mediocre pizza or what?

No. It's not an allergy.

I think you have
a condition that's called
deglutition syncope.

You eat certain foods,
you pass out.

It's an extremely
rare condition
that causes

an atrioventricular block
when you eat
specific types of foods.

Your heart is reacting to
certain carbohydrates.

Some have it
with carbonated beverages.
Some with chocolate.

So, it wasn't the hot dog.
It was the bun.

Gold star, Evan.

So, there's something wrong
with my heart?

There is. You need to
see a cardiologist.
I can recommend one.

They'll probably want
to put in a pacemaker.

You know,
it's a good thing
we found it.

If you had had an episode
while you were driving?

I mean,
it could have been fatal.

Wait. Hold up a second.
She needs a pacemaker?

Yeah.

A cardiologist can put it in
under light sedation.

Will I be able to dance
my final performance?

Yes.
As long as you
avoid these carbs.

And after your surgery,
you can enjoy a long
and happy retirement,

eating as much junk food
as you want.

Thank you.

You're welcome.
You're welcome.

Feed me.
I beg you.

How do you feel
about fish?

I love fish.

That's good. Because some dude
named Jim just dropped off
two dozen striped bass.

Said they were for you,
and scared the bejesus
out of me.

Me, too. I will
explain over dinner.

This is civilized.

Yeah.

Like gentlemen.
We should do this
every night.

As long as you stay
out of the kitchen,
okay.

You cook, I'll clean.
I'll even pick up
my clothes. Or try.

Henry.
Done, and done.

Clink.

The two of us keeping
a house in order?
Mom would be so shocked.

TESS: Hi.

Oh, hey.
Come on in.

I just wanted
to say thank you.

Oh, yeah. No need.
It's...
It's what I do.

Well, I...
I wanted to say
thank you to Evan, too.

Hi. How's the
old ticker?

I was just heading out
to mow...

Bye.
Bye.

So, I'm leaving tomorrow
to see that cardiologist.

Tomorrow?
Wow. That's soon.

I know.
Which is why

I wanted to say
thank you for helping me
have so much fun.

You've got a warped
sense of fun, lady.

No, I mean it!
I had a great time.

I mean, other than
passing out a lot.

I did a lot of things with you
I haven't done in years.

I usually get that
after I've dated a girl
for a long time.

I'm serious, Evan.
I really loved
our time together.

I mean, maybe it didn't
mean much to you,
but it meant a lot to me.

It meant
a lot to me, too.

I bought a ticket
for Machu Picchu.
I want to hike it.

I'm flying to Cuzco
after the surgery.

You're going to
Machu Picchu?

Yeah. After what you said,
how could I not?

Okay, this is awkward.
I made that up.

I've never even been
to Machu Picchu.
I read it in a magazine.

I thought it would make
the meal sound better.

Like, I couldn't even find
Machu Picchu on a map.

I don't even know
what country it's in.
Like, maybe it is a country.

Is it, like,
a mountain village?
Or what is it?

Well, yeah. After you served
garlic bread and lobster,

I was wondering if this
greatest meal ever was at
a Sizzler in Machu Picchu.

But it doesn't matter.

I'm going to have
an adventure,
and I need an adventure.

Of course. Okay.

Yeah. But before I go,
there's just this one thing
that I have to do.

[EXHALING]

God, I hate Machu Picchu.

HANK: Quite a maneuver,
Maverick.

Maverick?
Who's that?

Oh, I don't know.
A little movie called
Top...

Top g*n.
I know, Hank.
I'm just joking.

I am aware of
American culture
pre-iPod.

[LAUGHS]
Talk to me, Goose.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

I didn't realize you were
such a daredevil.

Well, as a hemophiliac,
what choice do I have,
you know?

Even slicing an orange
can be a deadly stunt.

Didn't Dad fire you?

He did.
From being your doctor.

Not from being your friend.

You want to
take it for a spin?

No. No, thank you.
Fear of flying.

Yeah, me, too.

[CRASHING]

Nice landing,
Goose.

Maybe I should have
rented this place.

Sheila was right
about the view.

Yeah.
This one's
pretty nice.

One of the perks of
being a local is you know
all the best views.

Right.
Were you born here?

Local Hampton-ite.
Mmm.

Endangered,
but not extinct.
Mmm-hmm.

The Citiots haven't
k*lled us off, yet.

Thank God.
Right. Citiots.

Mmm.

Wait, am I a Citiot?

I'll grant you a temporary
membership to our clan.

Temporary?
What's up with temporary?
Wow.

Thanks for seeing Jim.

Yeah. And I'm sorry about
the clinic. I know
how important it was to you.

When I was 12,
I was surfing and this
board tore into my arm.

Nearly separated it
from my shoulder.

And the hospital bills
were way more than
my parents could handle,

but Hamptons Heritage
took care of it. And me.

So...
I owe the place so much.

Hmm.
That's why you work
at the hospital?

Yeah, I wanted to
help do that for others.

Be a part of
something special.

But it's not
the same place it was.

We have so much less money,
less staff, less everything.

Hmm.
And that explains
the clinic.

It's a setback.
That's all.

I don't quit.

You need to know that
about me.
The clinic will happen.

I know it will.

And look. In the future,
if there are
any Sheilas or Jims,

you just give them
my number.

I guess you can be both.

Both?

Concierge doctor to
the rich, and an on-call
doctor to the rest of us.

The Robin Hood
of medicine.

[LAUGHING]

As long as
no tights are involved.

Why not?
You've got nice,
strong legs.

Do I, now?

[LAUGHING]
Not that I've...
Not that I've noticed.

Do you remember
anything you said

while you were
under the influence
the other night?

Not a word. Why?

No reason.
No reason.

But...
But for the record?

You are cute.

[DOOR OPENING]

MAN: Excuse me.
What are you doing
in my yard?

Just leaving!
Yeah.

We were.
By the way,
great view.

Yeah. I know.
Great.

MAN: My view.
HANK: Enjoy.