01x07 - Tea and Antipathy

[bunniefuu]

Hey. Hey!

Oh, mom, you rolled
van's socks into ba*ls.

What am I supposed to
do with 'em? Make puppets?

No, he likes them folded.
Otherwise they droop.

Things droop, cheyenne.
You'll learn that in life.

Oh. You know what, mom? That's
another thing. Van likes whole milk.

- I like one percent.
- Well, it's not all about you.

I have a husband
to take care of now.

- I'm gonna put it
on the list. Again.
- Aah, aah, aah, aah.

Here's an idea. How about you take the list
and go get your husband his fancy milk?

[Chuckles] mom, I'm
a married woman.

I don't have time to go
to the grocery store.

[Chuckles] you think
you're busy now.

Wait until you change a
poopy diaper in aisle three.

Fine.

Who thought these... were mine?

Oh, no. I hope van's not
wearin' your training bra!

- [telephone ringing]
- hello?

Oh. Hi, dad!

Oh, no. I forgot! I... Have...

Band practice this afternoon.

yeah. We can reschedule, okay?

Yeah, it sucks. Bye!

Kyra, you don't have
band practice today.

I know that. But he doesn't.

Kyra, look... I know it's been a little
strange between you and your dad...

Since he moved out. Don't you
mean, "shacked up with his hygienist"?

Hey, look. Just because
he's with barbra jean...

Doesn't mean he
stopped loving you.

And I know you still love him.

Mom, why are you
forcing us together now?

We didn't hang out back when
you liked him. I still like your father!

Just not as a husband.

So how about I call him back
and you two go out later?

[Sighs] fine.

I'll spend the day with
him, but that's it until I'm 25.

I'm going to the
store now. Oh, good.

- What are you doing?
- Oh, I just need the milk part.

[Laughing] oh-h*, no. I could
use some help around here.

I'd like for you to get
everything on that list.

Mom, I really don't
like your tone.

- Excuse me?
- I'm an adult now, and I would
like to be treated like one.

You're right. You're
a married woman now.

- Soon to become a mother.
- Exactly.

So from now on, you can be responsible
for doin' little things like, uh,

Grocery shoppin' and
doin' your own laundry.

All right, that's just mean.

♪♪ [country]

♪ my roots are
planted in the past ♪

♪ though my life
is changing fast ♪

♪ who I am is who I want to be ♪

♪ a single mom who
works too hard ♪

♪ who loves her
kids and never stops ♪

♪ with gentle hands and
the heart of a fighter ♪

♪ I'm a survivor ♪♪

go! Up! Up, up, up!

I'm up, I'm up...
How do you go up?

[expl*si*n] you're
dead. My turn. See ya!

That was a hoot. I can
see why you like it so much.

- Where's the groceries?
- We decided to get
an apartment instead.

Oh. I guess I'm not gonna
get any change back?

No, mom. I'm serious.

It's the adult thing to do.

You're gonna move out
'cause I won't do your laundry?

Well, we're married now. You
know, we have a baby on the way.

We need our space. We
found an awesome apartment.

It's got a pool, a
gym, and... Amenities!

I'm not sure what that is, but they
wouldn't brag about it if it wasn't good!

You know, it's been a while
since I got an apartment,

But don't you have to have a
little thing called... Money?

Oh, we know. Come on, van.

Let's fill out our application.

It's our first step
to independence.

Mom, do you have a pen?

Thanks. Okay.

Name. Mr. And mrs.
Van montgomery.

[Chuckling] marital status.

[Together] married! [Giggling]

Oh, there's a cute one:
employment history.

Van, what should I put
as your current position?

Cornerback.

No, I think they
mean a real job.

You know what? I'll just put
"manager." That can mean anything.

Uh, monthly income.

Okay, well, with my allowance
and your... Excuse me.

Do you really think your allowance
continues once you move out?

Okay. Fine.

Well, we have savings. And all
we need is a small, little loan...

To help us get going
until our jobs kick in.

I'm gonna learn to mow.

"Learn"?

- Hey.
- Hey, brock.

[door shuts] hi, daddy!

Well, hi, honey. How's
my favorite little girl? Hi.

How's my favorite
cornerback? Hey, coach.

- Kyra.
- She went to wendy's house.

- What?
- Oh, well. Maybe next week.

Wait a minute! You can't
let kyra get away with this!

What's goin' on between you
two? Aw, I don't know, reba.

Look, i... Shucks... I never
know what to say to kyra.

If you wanna know the
truth, she kinda scares me.

She's a 12-year-old girl!
With a 35-year-old mouth!

She's always makin' fun of me.

I will never wear bermuda shorts
around her again, that's for sure.

Come back tomorrow at 11:00. Okay.
I guess I could take her to a movie.

No, no, no, no, no. Not a movie.

I want you two face-to-face.

Plan somethin' special. You
have a date with your daughter.

All right.

Daddy! Don't leave
without sayin' bye to me!

[Chuckles fondly]

Daddy, we need your advice.
Well, sure, sweetheart.

What is it? Well, we
need some money. [Sighs]

Well, all right. Here you go.

Thanks. But that's
not what I meant.

You see, van and I found this
incredibly adorable apartment.

An apartment?

- You kids don't have
that kind of money.
- Van's gonna learn how to mow.

Now, why do you kids want
to move into an apartment?

Come on! You got it
pretty good around here.

Your mom's a great cook. You
can come and go as you please.

I loved livin' here.

You had a strange
way of showin' it.

We're trying to be
adults. Please, daddy!

Please, coach!

Sorry, you guys. All
I can go is another 20.

That's not gonna help. [Sighs]

Come on, van.

What? I put my foot down.

Yeah, and it only
cost you 60 bucks.

Okay, it's a start. What
about your parents?

Uh, I don't think so. Van,
I just asked my parents!

Yeah, but your parents didn't
chuck your stuff out on the lawn,

And tell you you were throwin' your
life away for a sleazy cheerleader.

I'm not a cheerleader.
I'm on drill team.

Okay, look, van.
Time has passed.

I'm sure they
feel guilty by now.

- And you know what guilt means.
- No.

- Cash!
- Oh!

Then we're gonna be rich!
My parents are monsters.

[Horn honking]

Cheyenne!

Check out our new truck!

Oh, my god! [Laughing]

Honey, it's the best
thing I've ever seen!

Did you win... [Gasps]
dude, I love you!

Just what they need.
Another thing with a bed.

Now I have a truck... and a van!

- [Giggling]
- where'd it come from?

My parents got it for
me. You were right! Oh!

Guilt works every time. Oh,
my god, there's leather seats!

[Sniffs deeply] oh, they
smell incredible.

Mom, you have to
come smell these seats!

Wait a minute. Are these the same
parents who boycotted your wedding...

- And disowned you?
- Yeah.

I even got a bigger surprise!

They invited us to move in!

No way! Yeah!

That's awesome! Oh!

Their house is huge!
And they have a maid.

Who folds socks!

Whoa! Whoa! What
are you talkin' about?

Now you're moving?
this is a big decision!

You two need to do some serious
soul-searchin', and ask yourself...

If one extravagant gift erases all
the hurtful things they did to you.

Is that orange suitcase
still in the hall closet?

I have a truck!

Man, that is one great truck!

Is that all anybody cares
about, is that stupid truck?

Now, reba, I know this is hard,

But they're only gonna
be a couple of blocks away.

And at least they won't be strugglin'
to pay the rent on some dumpy apartment.

Why isn't this botherin' you
as much as it's botherin' me?

Because nothin' bothers
me as much as it bothers you.

Look, the way those kids
love each other, they'll be fine.

Okay. We're gonna take
our first load over.

aw. Mom?

Don't look so sad! We're
not movin' out of your life.

We're just gonna be... I know.
It's just a couple of blocks away.

Yeah. Okay.

Okay, mom.

Mom? I'm running out of air.

Bye, daddy. Bye, honey.

- [door closes]
- [sighing] well, we knew
this day would come.

Our little girl
is leavin' the nest.

Before you know
it, it'll be kyra,

Then little jake...

Soon, it'll just be you and
me, all alone in this big...

Brock!

You don't live here anymore.

You really know how to
k*ll a moment, don't you?

Hi, dad! Hello, son.

- Cheyenne.
- Ah, it's nice to see you, sir.

Hi.

Uh, sue, honey. You want
to get off that thing?

Just five more minutes. I
had a huge dinner last night.

Yeah. Well, I'm sure you worked
off all that celery by now.

[Gasps]

Oh, you know, I've always loved
this house, mr. And mrs. Montgomery.

- Or should I call you
mom and dad?
- [Laughing]

- And thanks for lettin' us
live here, sir.
- [cheyenne] oh, yeah.

yeah. Uh, you know, I need a
moment here with my boy, cheyenne.

Why don't you go on in the
kitchen, fix yourself a snack?

Oh, great! Okay, I'm
starving. Eatin' for two now.

- There's rice cakes
on the counter!
- Okay.

Son, uh, I'm a little
confused here.

I thought we had
an understanding.

Dad, I don't understand.
I'm a little confused.

Well, we're tryin'
to help you here.

You're 17 years old, you
got a bright future, but...

You gotta leave your
problems behind ya.

- What?
- We asked you
to move back in, van.

- Not her.
- Yes, you did. When you handed
me the keys to the truck,

You said, "we'd like for
you to move back in with us."

I'm married now,
so you means us.

[Chuckling] oh,
van. Your english.

"You" does not
mean "both of you."

If we meant that,
we'd have said, "y'all."

[reba] ohh!

It looks stupid, right?

No, honey. You look adorable!

- That does it. I'm changing!
- [knocking on door]

Too late. Your date's here.

Is kyra here?

Come in, come in!

- Hi.
- Hi.

You both look so nice!

And is that a rose?

Oh, uh, it's for you.

Well. You both have
a wonderful time,

And don't bring
her home too early!

This is so disturbing.

Oh, and there's so
much closet space.

Yeah. Oh, mom, the
montgomerys' house is so great.

You're gonna have
to come visit us.

I'll be up in a second! okay!

- Hey, mrs. H...
- Hmm?

You know that thing that you
and cheyenne do, where you, like,

Tell each other stuff
and stuff like that?

You mean, talkin'?

Yeah, that. Can we talk?

Sure. What's goin' on?

Well, my parents... Hmm?

They don't want cheyenne to move
in. Only me! I misunderstood them.

Plus, I think they
kinda tricked me.

I knew it. I knew they
were up to something.

Wait a minute. Why is
cheyenne upstairs packin'?

I haven't told her yet.

Van! Well, it's gonna be
hard! She's gonna be sad.

She's gonna be even sadder when
they arrest her for trespassing!

I can't believe my parents think
I'm such a loser that a truck...

Is gonna make me
forget cheyenne.

God! They make me
so mad! I could just...

Let it go, van. This is great. You
could just what? i could just...

I don't know. That's as
far as I've ever gotten.

[Sighs] what do you usually do
when you get mad at your parents?

Go to my room without supper.

That'll teach 'em.

You know what
really gets me? What?

Is that they're gonna miss out
on getting to know their grandkid.

And they don't even care.

Sounds to me like that's something
you need to say to your parents.

No. My father isn't much of a
listener. He's more of a teller.

Well, maybe it's time for you to
do the tellin'. Get it off your chest.

You're right.
Cheyenne's my wife!

And they have no right
to treat her this way.

She's got her heart set on movin'
in, and that's what we're gonna do.

That takes guts,
van. I'm proud of you.

You really are
becomin' an adult.

Thanks, mrs. H.

Will you come with
me? My dad scares me.

Dad, this is beyond lame.

- What? We're havin' fun.
- This is a teahouse for
six-year-old girls.

Oh, come on. I'm tryin'! You
kids outgrow stuff so fast. Dad.

[Sighs] have you ever met me?

Do i look like
someone who sips tea?

No. I'm sorry. B.j. Said this
place would be lots of fun.

B.j. Collects beanie babies.

I brought you... Some of our
scrumptious orange marmalade.

It's from london, england.

Get over yourself.
It's from safeway.

[Rattling]

Put it down!

All right, all right.
I know this is lame.

I was just tryin' to find something
we could enjoy together.

[Sighs] yeah.

- We could go to a movie.
- No, kyra, we can't do that.

Then we wouldn't be able to talk.
We'd just be sittin' in a dark theater,

- Starin' at a screen.
- Yeah. That would bite.

- You wanna go?
- I'd sell my hair.

[Chuckling] let's do it!

Do we have to sit next
to each other? Ha! Heck!

We don't even have to see
the same movie. You're awesome!

Mrs. Hart! What a surprise.

Mr. Montgomery. Good to see ya.

Mrs. Montgomery. Nice spandex.

Sue, you want to get off that
thing? You look like a gerbil.

Dad, I have something
important to say to you.

And it's real important.

I'm listenin'.

Thanks for the truck, sir.

- Van!
- Uh, something
you wanted to add?

- No. This is between
you and van.
- Van?

Even though I think you should be
ashamed of how you've treated your son.

- Excuse me?
- This is between you and van.

I'm not even here.
But if i were here,

I'd tell you how wrong
you are for makin' your son...

Choose between his
parents and his wife!

Is that what you came
here to tell me, son?

Well, i... See?

You've got him so scared he's
afraid to be honest with you.

Van is not afraid of us.

Well, of course he's not afraid of
you. he could snap you like a twig.

A twig?

Look, I don't need
somebody like you comin'

Over here and tellin'
me how to raise my son.

What exactly do
you mean, "like me"?

Someone who sits back and
lets her daughter get pregnant.

We-ell, it's not like I
was there cheerin' 'em on.

But you know what? It happened.

You should be proud to have a
son with the guts to stick around.

i'm proud of him.
That's why I'm here.

- To give him moral support.
- That would imply that you know
something about morals.

Hey! You can't talk
that way to her!

Sir.

Mrs. H has stuck by us. Something
you wouldn't know about.

You watch yourself. I fed
and clothed you for 17 years.

Oh, so that makes
you a good father?

My whole life, all
you've done is bully me!

But with mrs. H, sometimes
I say things to her.

And she says things back to me.

It's called talkin'.

You know what? We
do it. So the way I see it,

Mrs. H is a way
better dad than you.

That's right, way better.
And you know what else?

[Keys rattling]

You can keep your
really stupid cool truck.

I'd rather walk. Come on, dad.

Right behind ya, son.

so they never
wanted me to move in?

I'm so sorry.

But we were gonna
be mansion people.

Oh, come on. We've
got indoor plumbin'.

Cheyenne, we don't
want to live there.

And who would you rather see across
the breakfast table? My mom or your mom?

My mom.

Of course. Van's mom never
sits at the breakfast table.

She might accidentally
eat somethin'.

I love my mom.

[Chuckles] I love my dad!