01x20 - The King and I

[bunniefuu]

[reba] so let me see
if I'm following you.

The priest actually got up and
walked out in the middle of confession?

All I said was he had nice eyes.

You are a desperate,
desperate woman.

Attention, ladies and gentlemen.

The nominees for westchester
high school prom king and queen are...

A bunch of losers and us! Whoo!

Oh, hold it. You're
both nominated?

Well, I don't really
think that I could win.

But van, he is a
shoo-in for king.

He's so well-liked, even the other
nominees are gonna vote for him.

I'm probably the
most popular kid ever,

But I refuse to
let it go to my head.

- So, mr. Popular,
when is the final vote?
- Next week.

Oh, mom, you have to help
me pick out an awesome dress.

Even the runner-ups
get photographed a lot.

Isn't the maternity prom
shop next to the gap?

Cheyenne, I'm glad you're
keeping all this in perspective.

After all, you are up against four
other girls who aren't pregnant.

I'm assuming.

Yeah. One of them
is morgan brooks.

[Gasps] the cheerleader?
Oh, she's hot.

I'm hot too.

You should be. You've
been bakin' for nine months.

Look, I know I'm not gonna win.

After all that's happened, I
can't even believe I got nominated.

I guess that proves
how popular I was b.p.

- B.p.?
- Before pregnancy.

Oh, van. Let's go
order your tux, my king.

Mmm, it's good to be king.

Can you believe it? Prom
this week, then graduation.

Well, it looks like we actually
survived the cheyenne years.

At least we know
kyra's gonna be easier.

Oh, thank god for our smart
and sweet little tuba player. yeah.

Nice to have one daughter
who doesn't like the fast lane.

Well, I'm going
to my tuba lesson.

♪♪ [country]

♪ my roots are
planted in the past ♪

♪ though my life
is changing fast ♪

♪ who I am is who I want to be ♪

♪ a single mom who
works too hard ♪

♪ who loves her
kids and never stops ♪

♪ with gentle hands and
the heart of a fighter ♪

♪ I'm a survivor ♪♪

[lori ann] lori ann
to the rescue.

I found a whole department
of big-bellied formal wear.

Ugh. Those are
maternity dresses.

You wanna tell her or should i?

I'm sure there's
somethin' cute in here.

Not this one.

Look, it's got to be perfect.

Prom night is the most
important night of my life.

Oh, well, except
for my wedding day.

Oh, and when I made
drill team. Oh, you know.

She is so excited.

A lot more than I
was for my prom.

Ah, you're just still upset
mason hunter didn't invite you.

I held out to the last minute.
Then had to settle for billy.

- He was cute.
- He was my cousin!

Mom, can i... No.

- But, mom...
- No.

I don't think it's so bad.

You hit on a priest.

Fine.

oh! Oh, honey.

That looks great!

It kind of does, doesn't it?

Wouldn't it be funny
if I actually won?

Funny, ha-ha, or funny, it'll
never happen in a million years?

Hey, maybe this pregnancy is
not as big a deal as I thought.

Why would I have been
nominated if I didn't have a chance?

Don't make it all about winning.

Remember, it's an honor
just to be nominated.

Clearly, you've
never won anything.

Hey! Morgan.

Cheyenne, I was just
talking about you.

Oh, you were?

Yeah. I was saying how if I couldn't
win, it would be really nice if you did.

That's very sweet. Thank you.

My, um... My toothpaste, please?

Do you always brush
with preparation h?

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

That is my wife's cream.

It's a pregnancy thing.
Here you go, honey.

Van, it is toothpaste.

Are you okay, honey?
I'm feeling a little hurt.

You better take
your cream. [Groans]

Morgan brooks is a very
formidable adversary.

And a b*tch to
boot. Dennis dugan.

Van montgomery.
Everybody knows you.

Me? Well, unless you've been searching
for bobby fischer, I'm insignificant.

Uh, I'm having a little
trouble following,

But if there's a kid
missing, I'll help look. [Groans]

I'm captain of the
chess team. Last year we

Invited the drill team
to one of our matches.

No one showed up,
except cheyenne.

She jumped around for hours,
inspiring one checkmate after another.

You gotta love her.

Ohh, we do.

Unfortunately, after
taking a representative

Sample of the voting students,

We're projecting morgan brooks
will crush cheyenne in the election.

Oh, man, this is gonna
break cheyenne's heart.

God, she would have been a cinch for
prom queen if I hadn't gotten her pregnant.

True. I can't believe the whole
school's going for morgan.

Well, not everybody.

A large portion of the
student body is alienated.

They're here illegally?

It means they feel left out,

So they don't usually care about
stuff like voting for prom queen.

Well, what if I can
get 'em to care?

I mean, what if I can convince
'em to vote for cheyenne?

It's a tall order.
Hey, I'm tall!

And I'm also the
most popular kid ever.

Tell me, dennis, where
can I find the alienated?

- There.
- Yeah.

There.

There.

I'm on it. Hey, kid.

Don't hit me! I'm not. I
just wanna talk to you.

Listen, I want you to vote
for cheyenne for prom queen.

I don't vote for things like
that. But if you do this time,

You're... You're, uh...

You're invited to my
house for a party.

Wow. A party at
van montgomery's.

Well, she can count
on my vote. All right.

Well, that wasn't too hard.
I gotta find more voters.

On to the library.

It's that way. Of course.

Why would you even let the
meter reader in your house?

Because I am a desperate,
desperate woman.

Mom, he grabbed me
in front of my friends,

Wrapped me in this jacket, then
shoved me in the car and drove away.

You were supposed to pick her
up from school, not kidnap her.

I'm drivin' up, I see
this girl and I think,

"Who lets their daughter out
of the house dressed like that?"

And then I realize... We do.

- Mom bought it for me.
- That's not the skirt
I bought you.

That's the skirt I bought you.

Cheyenne was allowed to wear short
skirts. That's not helping your case.

That's right. We already
have one pregnant daughter.

We're not goin' for the record.

That's so unfair. Why do I have to
suffer because of what cheyenne did?

- I hate to butt in...
- Well, then don't.

With all due respect to reba,

Kyra is a teenager now.

If you come down too hard on her,
she'll rebel even more. I know I did.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I'm gonna go home
and get my meter read.

Do you think we were
too hard on kyra?

No! We've got to save her from the pain and
suffering that cheyenne is goin' through.

I won! I'm prom queen!

- What?
- I beat morgan brooks.

They said the turnout was
much higher than expected,

And most of those
votes were for me.

Well, that's wonderful news.

Wonderful and surprising news.

Yeah. I've got so much to do.

I gotta get my nails done. I
gotta finalize my hairstyle.

I forgot how hard
it was being popular.

So, mrs. H, I was thinking, could we
have a party here before the prom?

- I guess that's okay.
- So, who you gonna invite?

The usual suspects...
Football team, drill team?

Or some other teams.

- So, what do you want me to do?
- Well, it's a party.

So, get some chips, sodas,
a couple chessboards.

- Chessboards?
- Yeah. You know, it's a party.

And what's a party
without... Chess?

Oh, and, uh, throw some calculators
around, just for decoration.

Is he actin' a little strange?

Yes. But look on
the bright side.

It's prom night, and we don't have to
worry about our daughter gettin' pregnant.

Thank you for the wonderful
party, mrs. Hart. Dennis dugan.

Oh, welcome, dennis.
It's nice to meet you.

There's a lot of students
here I've never met.

Just think of us as
cheyenne's constituency.

Okay. Thank you.

There's definitely something
weird goin' on around here.

Van, I never knew so many
people I didn't know loved me.

See, I told you, you're
as popular as ever.

Why didn't you invite any
of our regular friends?

They get to see you all
the time. And that's selfish.

A queen as popular as you are
should spread herself around.

You're right.

Hi, I'm cheyenne.
I'm your queen.

Attention, friends and...

People I've never seen before...

Come here.

I'd like you to raise your
glasses in honor of my son-in-law...

And, especially, my daughter.

You know, high school is
notorious for being superficial.

But you people saw
past the pregnancy...

And voted for what
truly counts... Her beauty.

Thanks, daddy.

Say, did I ever tell you I was
king of my high school prom?

[Together] about
a hundred times.

well, look who decided
to come out of her room.

You happy? You look nice.

- I look like you.
- She does!

Oh, I envy these kids.

I wasn't allowed
to go to my prom.

Daddy thought dancin'
was the devil's handiwork.

How'd he feel about
sleepin' with married men?

He never showed
any interest in it.

So I opened with e4, and in
ten moves I had him in check.

Excuse me. E4 is an
excellent opening chess move.

But if you ask me,
nf3 is the way to go.

Nf3, fascinating! You really know your
game. Why haven't you joined the team?

Me? The high school chess team?

Well, I'll have to
check my schedule.

Check.

His name's william. He's a
senior and he's really cool.

And are you ready? He
asked me to the prom.

And I said no!

Mom, what are you doing?

What are you doin'?

I don't know what's gotten into you
lately, but this behavior is gonna stop...

If I have to ground
you until you're 30.

Now, go to your room. But...

Now!

Hey, sweetheart. How...

- What happened?
- A boy just invited her
to the prom.

Which one is he? I'll k*ll him.

His name's william. Good enough.

The solution really is to help them rebuild
their whole economic infrastructure.

Excuse me, dennis.
Who is william?

- Oh, I am.
- Oh. Excuse me.

Hi. I know your kind.

You prey on innocent,
unsuspecting young girls.

Boy, I oughta take you out back
and give you what for, pal. [Shudders]

Easy, brock.

William, maybe you didn't
know this, but kyra is only 13.

I know. Okay, buddy,
it's me and you! Outside!

I didn't know when I asked her. Van
told me. Besides, she turned me down.

She did? Look,
it's not my fault.

She was dressed
like an older woman.

All righty then. Yeah, it's...

Everyone, the limos are here.

Bye, mom and dad. Thank
you for everything.

Ready, my queen? Ready.

[Sighs]

I guess we kind of
overreacted, didn't we?

Yeah. [Sighs]

I believe you owe
kyra an apology.

[reba] kyra, could you
come down, please?

What? Is my arranged
marriage here yet?

We had a talk with william, and it
appears that your father and i...

And by that I mean
mostly your father...

Might have overreacted a little.

A little?

Look, I know we're a little
g*n-shy because of cheyenne.

And we realize you
are not cheyenne.

sh**t, if she had been asked out
to the prom at 13, she'd have gone.

- She did.
- What?

Nothing.

So, uh,

Must have been pretty cool gettin'
asked out by a high school boy.

It was all right.

Just all right?

Okay, it was pretty cool.

I told him I have a
boyfriend in france.

Do you think he believed me?

Boyfriend in france?
Yeah, that always works.

But another cool thing is...

He liked you for you and not
for what you were wearing.

Yeah, you're right.

Once I get back to wearing what I
wanna wear, I'm gonna be unstoppable.

It's all good.

I wish I had a
boyfriend in france.

Wait. We should let everybody
go in and make an entrance.

Cheyenne, I never got a chance to
congratulate you on your victory.

Thank you. I'm sure
it was really close.

But you got more votes.

How did you get
more votes than me?

I'm more popular?

Are you?

Or is he?

Okay, let's go in. Come
on. Wait, wait, wait.

What do you think she meant by
that? She's a sore loser. Let's go.

Hey, thanks for the
great party, my homey.

[Chuckles]

Homey, why were all those
kids I don't know at our party?

I told you. They're friends
of mine. Going in now.

Are they your friends 'cause
you got 'em to vote for me?

What? No.

Well, maybe.

Look, all I did was
encourage some kids to vote.

By promising them a party. No. I
also had to join the debate team.

I can't believe this.

I thought I won queen because of me, not
because you bribed people to vote for me.

Don't think of it as a bribe.
Think of it as a good campaign.

You wanted to win,
didn't you? Not this way.

I'm not going in there. You
have to. You're the queen.

No, van, because everybody in there
knows that the only reason I'm queen...

Is because of you.

I would rather die than walk in
there. Then I'm not going in either.

Yes, you are. You
won by a landslide.

You're the most
popular kid ever.

Oh, like that's my fault?

- What are you doin' home?
- Van fixed the election.

He's been scamming all week to get
kids I don't even know to vote for me.

Oh. That explains the math
problems on the napkins.

Oh, honey, I'm sorry. But you
had to know you were a long shot.

Yeah, a big, fat,
pregnant long shot.

When I thought I made
queen, it was like...

People were seeing me
the way they used to...

The girl I was before
I was pregnant.

I miss being that
person sometimes.

I know you do.

Mom, I've looked forward to this
night for so long. And now it's ruined.

At my prom, I slow
danced with my cousin.

Cheyenne, you're forgetting.

You've got somethin' a lot of girls
don't have... Someone who loves you.

Why did he do this to me?
Honey, he didn't do this to you.

He did it for you.

He knew what being
queen meant to you, and

He did whatever he
could to make it happen.

Oh, god. What?

He even joined the
debate team, mom.

There is still time, cinderella.

You don't turn back into a pregnant
pumpkin until after the prom.

I'm gonna go get
van. Thank you, mom.

You bet.

[door opens]

Hi. Hey.

I'm sorry I embarrassed
you in front of everyone.

So, this is prom night.

Not exactly like we pictured it.

Yeah, it is.

I always knew I'd
spend it with you.

I think I owe you a dance.

Yes, you do, your highness.

I never danced with
you pregnant. [Chuckles]

It's not easy. No.