02x04 - Reba Works for Brock

[bunniefuu]

[Elizabeth crying]

[Clears throat]
oh, there she is!

it's mommy's first
day of school!

That just sounds wrong.

Okay. Do I look like
a college student?

Or do I look like a high school
student pretending to be in college?

Honey, you haven't looked like a high
school student since your third trimester.

I thought you were gonna
wear my football jersey.

Since I'm taking the semester off, I'd
be there in spirit. Go team montgomery!

Yeah, but it was too bulky.

So, to have you with me,
I wore your deodorant.

Mom, look at her.

I'm gonna miss you
so much, elizabeth.

Van, remember, you can always
reach me on my cell phone.

And she likes to be burped on
her lap, not on the shoulder.

Oh, and her new favorite
chew toy is jake's game boy.

that's why it's wet.

Don't worry, cheyenne. I know
how to take care of my own baby.

- You got all that?
- [Chuckles]

- Yep. But I'm not gonna be here.
- [Both] what?

I told you kids. I start work
at your dad's office today.

- That's today?
- didn't you see the giant
sad face on the calendar?

Mom, i-i can't leave my
baby with my husband.

He's a teenager!

I've never taken care of
the baby all by myself before.

I'm the camera guy. [Laughs]

I document other people
taking care of the baby.

Okay, well, review
the tapes and suit up.

So I gotta watch the baby and
the house and kyra and jake?

That's four things! I
only have two eyes!

Van, it's just gonna
be you and the baby.

Kyra has a study group
for her big, fancy math class,

And I signed jake up to
an after-school activity.

I don't want to
take jazz and tap.

I'm sorry, honey.
Karate was full.

Too bad. He's gonna need karate when
the bullies find out he's in jazz and tap.

[reba] ha, hey!

♪ who I am is who I wanna be ♪

♪ I'm a survivor ♪♪

Sorry I'm late, brock.
Oh, are you late?

I thought you were
just early for tomorrow.

Okay, I'll tell you what.

Tomorrow you can drop our kids
off at school, and I'll be on time.

Hey, no problem. I'll have the
new girl in my office pick 'em up.

Oh, wait. you're the new girl.

I miss your sense
of humor, brock.

Do you miss it too?

I'll tell you what i don't miss.

Okay, all right. Hang on.

I'm sorry. Let's just
try to be professional.

Let's pretend that you never had a
midlife crisis that destroyed our family...

And I never...

Well, I'm really not
at fault here, am i?

The point is, you're the boss.

Except for one thing. What?

I'm not gonna be your boss.

[Gasps]

There's my new gal friday!

Here's your uniform!

[Squealing]

We'll be twins!

Brock... Reba...

- Brock!
- Reba, like it or not,
you need this job.

Now, I'm with patients all day,
and barbra jean runs the office,

So you're just gonna
have to deal with it.

[Exhales] okay.

But when jake makes it big in
tap, I'm never working again.

It's okay, it's okay. Mommy's
here. You can stop your crying.

- Van, where's elizabeth?
- Don't know.

napping?

Oh, cheyenne. Sweet,
naive cheyenne.

What... Come on,
van! Where is she?

Her afternoon nap
ended an hour ago,

At which time I
transported her to the

Kitchen, where she
enjoyed crushed bananas...

And seven cheerios.

After such a hearty feast, she retired
to her favorite post-meal activity:

The bouncy seat.

Ohh! Hi, elizabeth.

Wow. [Cooing]

Van! You did all of this?

And videotaped it.

Yeah.

[Sighs]

Hey, mom. How was your day?

[Shudders]

Wow. It's really that
bad working for dad?

I didn't work for him.
I was working for...

[Shudders]

You were working
for barbra jean?

I'm off the clock. I
don't wanna talk about it.

Why do you have a smiley-face sticker
on your smock that says "good job"?

I said I don't wanna
talk about it!

Oh, wait. I need
you to sign this.

[Sighs] what?

It's a drop slip from my
advanced math class. It's too hard.

Hey, you wanted to take this,
and you're gonna see it through.

We don't take the easy way out.

Anybody can drop a math class...

Or stab a big, goofy blonde.

Whoa! What happened to
this place? It's spotless!

You know how you take your clothes to the
cleaners and they say it's been martinized?

Well, this place has
been martin-vanned.

Uh-oh. teletubbies is on.

The g*y one makes me laugh.

Aren't you proud
of him, cheyenne?

Yeah. I'm quitting college.

- What?
- I just... I can't do this, mom.

All day long, all I did was
worry about van and the baby.

What is it around here? I wanna put
up a big sign that says, "we don't quit!"

Sometimes it's better to suffer
now and get what you want later.

And right now we're
all suffering a little bit.

[tap shoes clacking]

Some of us more than others.

[Grinding]

Pop quiz! [Screams]

Barbra jean!

Oh, my lord!

Quick! Where do
we keep the floss?

Oh, well. Moving on to filing.

now...

I have a very special system.

Let me guess. Does it have
anything to do with the alphabet?

Okay. [Slowly] "mr.
Richard bolwork."

B... B... Bolwork.

Where do you think
we file this one, reba?

Right after "b... B... Bite me"?

Well, technically, yes.

[Rings]

Dr. Hart's office. Yes...

[Gasps]

You just hung up on a patient.

Because you didn't give
the authorized greeting.

Around here we say,

Welcome to the dental
offices of dr. Brock ♪ hart ♪

[Rings]

[Monotone] welcome to the
dental office of dr. Brock hart.

More welcoming.

Two syllables in "hart." Sing
it with me. Dr. Brock ♪ ha-art ♪

You see, it goes up and
then down... ♪ Ha-art ♪

I'm not... I'm not answering
the phone that way.

Well, if you don't try, you're never
gonna learn. I don't want to learn.

[ringing] go on. Pick it up.

Pick it up.

- No.
- Please?

- No!
- I'm ordering you
to pick it up.

Ordering? [ringing continues]

Okay, fine.

There. It's picked up.

You realize this is
not a cordless phone.

Barbra jean is driving me crazy.

So please fire me!

Why don't you just
quit? 'Cause I made such

A big deal about not
quitting to the kids.

I don't want 'em
thinking badly of me.

What are they gonna think
of me when I fire their mother?

Oh, you've already done so
much to me, they'll expect it.

Reba, look, you need
real work experience.

Well, this is it. But
she's so irritating!

You should see how she makes
me answer that stupid phone!

It's insane, singing your
name down and then up,

Or some garbage like that.

No, no, no.

See, it's up and then
down. ♪ Ha-art ♪

Come on, try it
with me. ♪ Ha-art ♪

You enjoy watching her
t*rture me, don't you?

Oh, come on. She's
not torturing you.

You know, barbra jean wants
this to work out more than anyone.

She considers you a friend.

[Sobbing] why?

Why does she like me so much?

Everyone likes you,
reba. That's your curse.

[Continues sobbing]

Look, barbra jean's big dream
is to stay home with the baby.

All she needs to do
is train a replacement.

You mean, if I do everything
she asks, she'll go away?

Yes.

Oh. Well, then...

[Giggles]

Excuse me, dr. Hart.

I gotta go earn me a
smiley-face sticker.

And...

[Beep] go.

Ohh!

[Groaning]

[Beep] yes!

Another speed record for the
doctor of diaper, van montgomery!

[Imitating crowd cheering]

What are you doing?

Gettin' ready for game time.

That right there was 15 seconds.

You add a five-second squirm
factor for the real baby,

And I'm 20 seconds,
poop to pail.

You're really into
this, aren't you?

Well, it's physically and
mentally challenging.

Why?

Are you gonna make fun of me?

Van, it's me.

It's just, didn't
cheyenne's last class...

End an hour ago?

She's probably in the library.

Van, it's cheyenne.

[Beeping] okay. You know what?

Not that I have anything
to prove to you, kyra...

[Line ringing] [sighs]

♪♪ [Rock, loud] hi, cheyenne.

Where are you?

No, no, i... I can't hear
you over the music!

Yeah, the baby's fine, but i...

♪♪ [Continues]

Okay. Bye.

[Beep] she's in the library.

The music library!

And then the nun says, "I
do it out of habit." [Laughing]

Barbra jean, could you get
mr. Akinawa a complimentary toothbrush?

Oh! Already taken care of.

Along with minted
floss, validated parking...

And a little drool cup, just
until the novocaine wears off.

Okay? There you go.

Reba!

That was really wonderful.

You are showing
substantial improvement.

Thank you, barbra jean.
Just doin' the best job I can.

Good reba frighten brock.

Well, reba, since you seem
ready for a new challenge,

Why don't we organize the
magazine rack in the waiting area?

Already done, with the children's
magazines on the lower rung,

Women's magazines
on the middle...

And sports and golf
on the top for the men.

Oh, and I threw out the
national geographic.

It has dirty pictures.

The student has
surpassed the teacher.

[Both sighing]

- You might be ready
to fly solo.
- You mean work without you?

It's just,

I haven't had my eyebrows
waxed since henry was born.

It's startin' to look
like I got bangs, so...

Go. Get waxed.

[Giggles] leave the office
for as long as you want to.

Forever, if you want.

Really? Yeah!

Take the day off. Okay.

Oh, and barbra jean,
while you're at it,

You may wanna
take care of, uh...

Thank you, reba.
You're a real friend.

Hi. I'm here for dr. Brock.

So! Hi, mrs. Turner.

I didn't realize you
were coming in today.

Yeah. 3:30. There she is.

The doctor'll be right with
you. Good-bye, barbra jean.

But I am sure...

sure that was canceled.

Hey, tonya. You're
right on time.

I'll be with you in a minute to
check out those beautiful teeth.

See, barbra jean?
Everything's under control.

So, tonya turner.

Why don't you just put
it under "t," for tr*mp!

- [Whimpers]
- what?

Brock and her? No!

[Sobs] well...

No! Why would you say that?

It could happen.

Things have changed between
brock and I since henry was born.

I'm afraid we've lost that spark we had
when I was his hygienist and not his wife.

Yeah, those were the days.

It's like...

It's like he doesn't find
me attractive anymore.

Do you know we haven't had
intimacies in over a month?

H-h-h-hello! Hello!

Reba, I don't wanna
lose brock to the next

Pretty thing that
sits in his dental chair.

What should I do?

Help me, reba! Please! Aah!

Okay. Okay, okay.
Just stop touching me.

If you have... Needs,

Then you should talk to
brock and tell him what they are.

Tell him. Don't tell me. I
repeat: tell brock. Don't tell me.

Okay. I'll try.

Whew.

[Whimpering] I can't, I
can't, I can't, I can't!

Barbra jean, stop!
Wait just a second!

Barbra jean! What
the heck is going on?

why did barbra jean just come into my
office, go "I ca... I ca..." And run away?

I-i couldn't say.

What did you do to
her? I didn't do anything!

You must have. Now, you need
to run after her and apologize.

i'm not the one she's
got a problem with. Oh...

Well, what's that supposed
to mean? What'd she say?

Look, brock, I'm just
tryin' to do my job. Okay?

So, your 3:30 cleaning is waiting
on you, you have a 5:00 root canal,

And at 7:00, you should
have sex with your wife.

Coffee?

Did you just say what
i... What I think you said?

I must have. My whole
mouth just went numb.

Oh, yeah, I knew it was a good
idea to have you working here.

[Groans]

So...

What'd she say about me... Us?

Nothin'. Just that.

Oh.

Okay then.

Back to work.

Okay.

It's not 'cause I can't
perform, you know.

Oh, lord!

Uh, maybe this is a
little too personal.

Oh, you think?

I mean, we should be talking about
mouthwash, fluoride treatment,

Anything but how you perform.

But I can, you know. Oh, talk
about it with barbra jean.

You're right.
You're right. Sorry.

But I can.

[door lock unlocking]

Oh. It's you.

Hello to you too, sunshine.

Ah. Is that dinner?

Looks great.

Yeah, I suppose it was good
at dinnertime, an hour ago.

We eat dinner as a
family in this house.

And if you're gonna be late, there's a
new invention... It's called a telephone!

Hey! Hey! [Sarcastic laugh]

Van, I'm too tired to deal
with the usual insanity today.

Whoa. Mrs. H.

I'm sorry. I'm just wiped out.

Talk to me.

I hate my job.

You know how when barbra jean and
brock come over and visit for 10 minutes,

Then I come in here and bang my
head against the refrigerator?

I've been with 'em for
eight hours today!

Touch it! It's still hot!

So quit.

I can't quit. I need the job
experience, not to mention the money.

You have job experience.
Three days' worth.

And no amount of money is
worth what you're going through.

A million dollars would be,
but you're not making that. Right?

But I made a big deal about
not quittin' to the kids.

They're kids. Tell
'em to shut up.

That's right. I have that power.

Thanks, van. You're quite a guy.

I'm glad someone feels that way.

Okay. Talk to me.

It's cheyenne.

She hasn't called. She hasn't
been home to check on me.

Maybe that's because
you're doing such a great job.

I just wish she
could see us here...

Her husband and newborn baby,
alone, our dinner getting cold.

A sandwich?

Our dinner getting warm.

Van, cheyenne loves you and
elizabeth with all her heart.

But college gives her a
chance to spread her wings,

Figure out who she is.

I think she deserves it after
all she's been through. Don't you?

Yeah.

Look, I know it's hard.

But making her feel guilty
is no way to keep her at home.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I gotta go call brock and
tell him he can take his job and...

♪ Shove it ♪

All right. Jake's gonna show us
what he learned in his first week of tap.

And we're all
gonna love it... Kyra.

I love it already.

Go ahead, jake.

Oh-h*! Yeah!

[van] yeah!

Mrs. H, you gotta let him quit.

acme! [Coughing]