04x02 - Mother's Intuition

[bunniefuu]

Oh, sorry I'm late, guys.

They got a new bag boy down
at the grocery store. He's 72.

He carried my
bags out to the car,

And then I had to carry
him back to the store.

- Is kyra here yet?
- Oh, no. She called.

- She says she's not gonna
make it to your dinner.
- Again?

That's the third time this week.
What's going on over there?

Mrs. H, quick question. If
you want to go duck hunting,

Do you have to
have your own g*n?

Or can you just wait
for them to land...

And then go after
them with a hammer?

What in the name of dirt and
worms are you talking about?

We're trying to come up with
stuff to do with barbra jean...

Ever since dad moved
into their old condo.

We don't want her to sit
around and get depressed.

I think hunting is good
when you're depressed.

You know?

Look, when I went
through my separation,

I hated it when people thought that
keeping me busy was gonna make me happy.

You know what? Maybe
you're right. Ah, too bad.

I got a great duck call.

Hey, ducks!

Look, the best we can
do is be supportive.

Let barbra jean work
through her emotions.

She's gonna look like
heck and feel like heck,

And it's gonna be
okay with us. [door opens]

Cheyenne.

Uh, I need to borrow
your pearl earrings.

Well, geez, who died? [Chuckles]

[reba] ha, hey!

♪ my roots are
planted in the past ♪

♪ though my life
is changing fast ♪

♪ who I am is who I want to be ♪

♪ a single mom who
works too hard ♪

♪ who loves her
kids and never stops ♪

♪ with gentle hands ♪

♪ and the heart of a fighter ♪

♪ I'm a survivor ♪♪

Oh, I tell you,

I am undergoing a
personal renaissance.

Seeing old friends,
going to movies,

Playing miniature golf.

Do you dress like that
playing miniature golf?

Only if I don't want to pay.

Honestly, reba, I have
to say, if I had known...

Asking brock to leave was gonna
help me grow so much as a person,

I would have dumped
him at our wedding.

Barbra jean, you don't
have to put on a show for us.

It would be completely
understandable if you felt depressed.

I mean, sh**t, even
I felt depressed.

Yeah, but you're
the one who got left.

See, reba, i told
brock to leave.

So, for me, this is a chance
to really find out who I am.

I mean, people only see me as
"brock's wife" or "henry's mom"...

Or, when I was younger, "the girl the
lifeguards invited to the lifeguard shack."

But now I have an opportunity...

To find the real barbra jean.

That is very
inspirational, barbra jean.

You should write
a self-help book.

You could call it, knock,
knock. Who's there?

me. Good, because I've been
looking for you. [Barbra jean] yeah.

Hey, barbra jean, I
brought you two pairs,

'Cause I wasn't sure
which one you'd like better.

Ooh, I'll take one of each.

If I wear two
different earrings,

People will think I'm
eccentric, you know.

Yeah, that's what they'll think.

Ooh, and you know, I know
this goes without saying,

But the stuff we talked
about is confidential.

You know, I'm sure brock
is just constantly hitting...

You guys up for
information about me.

Yeah. Lips are sealed.

Oh, I don't know
how to thank you.

[Giggles]

[door closes] good lord.

Wait a minute. Do you
know what I just realized?

That barbra jean's
an earring hog? oh.

This is the reason kyra's been
canceling our mother-daughter dinners.

Because barbra jean has been bringing
her food from the miniature golf course.

No, barbra jean's been running
around with who knows who...

While kyra's home
babysitting henry.

Do you know what
she is? She's a kyra hog.

Hang on, mom. You have absolutely
no proof that that's what's going on.

I don't need proof.
I've got intuition.

And my mother's intuition
tells me something is wrong.

I gotta speak to your daddy
about this whole situation.

But it was so funny, because me
and my best friend, ryan holleman...

I mean, he's not my
best best friend.

He's, like, my best
friend at recess,

Except for daniel cortinez,
who's my best best friend at recess.

Except he might move to dallas, but
maybe not. He does like the dallas cowboys.

I don't. I like the texans. It
was funny. All of a sudden...

Jake!

Actually, I changed my mind.

You can watch tv upstairs.

Cool.

- I'll tell you the end
of the story at dinner.
- Yeah.

Hey, brock. Hey.

Oh, I remember this
color... "Separation yellow."

Yeah, the guys down at the
paint store just call it "brock."

[sighs] so, you okay?

No, I'm fine.

The first couple of days,
I was a little stunned,

But I've been working
with my therapist,

And we both felt like the
healthiest thing for me to do...

Was to focus on the things I can control
instead of dwelling on things I can't.

Plus, she upped my meds.

Yeah, sounds like
you're doing great.

You know what's not great?
Kyra canceled dinner on me.

Oh. Well, she's probably busy.

Oh, you know what?
You could be right.

She might be busy. Good point.

you always make good points.
That's why I like to talk to you so much.

[chuckles] what's going on?

Nothing. Something's up. You
just said you like talking to me.

Yeah, I knew I never
could pull that one off.

It's just that I've got
this feeling about kyra.

Oh, no. We're not
gonna start talking...

About your famous
mother's intuition, are we?

Because I was lying before.
She didn't really up my meds.

Brock, listen to me.

I know you're gonna flip out when
I tell you this, but it's important.

Barbra jean's been
going out every night...

Seeing her friends and
going to movies and stuff.

What? She's going to the movies?

And you're telling me
this and not the cops?

Come on. What's the big deal?

The big deal is that kyra's
stuck watching henry,

While lulu's out
playing putt-putt.

Yeah, well, I'm pretty sure
that's not true. Oh, really?

Well, do you have mother's
intuition? No, I have henry.

What? You mean henry's here?

Yeah. He's taking a nap.

Been with me all week. I
mean, I felt like I needed...

To spend a little extra
time with him during this.

You know, he's a lot
quieter than jake.

Well, then what in the
heck's going on with kyra?

Nothing. I talked to her three
times today, and she's great.

But I realize that my
reassurance is no match...

For your super-powerful
mother's intuition.

I don't know what it is,
but I just can't shake...

The feeling that
something's going on.

Well,

I probably shouldn't
tell you this.

What?

But when something's
going on at my house, yeah.

The evidence is always
under the sofa cushion.

Knock it off. I'm just saying.

Oh.

Go on, reba. Pop in on them. It'll
put your mind at ease. [Chuckles]

I'm not gonna do that, brock.

Because when you say "pop," you
mean "snoop." And I don't snoop, brock.

I'm not the snooping,
popping-in kind of person.

Oh, dad, I just saw this
commercial, and it was so funny.

There was this dog, but
it wasn't like a dog dog.

it was like daniel
cortinez's dog,

But he doesn't have it
anymore, 'cause it ran away.

- But it was so funny...
- Jake!

I got a story too,
and it's so funny.

Yeah, I was playing golf the other day,
and I had, like, 90 yards in to the green,

But I didn't have
my 9-iron with me.

I had to take my sand wedge.
It was a really cool shot.

And this is, like,
the really fun fun...

Yeah. That's right.

Hey. Hey.

So, hadn't seen you in a while.

Yeah. Sorry about
canceling dinner.

No big deal. You
were probably busy.

Yeah. Doing what?

Mom, you're acting a
little weird. What's wrong?

I don't know exactly.

Just got this, uh, feeling.

Oh, no. Mother's intuition.

You know what? People should
stop making fun of my intuition.

Because if it wasn't for
my mother's intuition,

We would have never found that joe's burger
barn when we were camping in lubbock.

Out of all the barns we've
eaten in, that was the nicest.

I don't know, I just got the feeling
that something's screwy around here.

Everything's fine.
I don't think it is.

I think it's weird, what with
barbra jean going out all the time.

That? No, it's
fine, okay? [Scoffs]

Everything's under control.
Well, I don't know that.

I don't know what she's
doing and where she's going...

And what kind of people
she's hanging out with.

Look, mom, I can't
talk about this.

We were just about to
go out. See you later.

Oh, hold on right there. Look, I
think barbra jean's a good person.

I really do. But I also know
that she's easily influenced.

I mean, if she's hanging out
with the wrong kind of people,

Who knows who
she could turn into.

Hey, reba.

Barbra jean was
dressed like kyra?

Oh, yeah. Buckle for buckle.

Wow.

That must have looked like a
ventriloquist with her dummy.

This is so sad.

Kyra dresses horribly.

- That's not the worst part.
- Same shoes?

No. Oh.

When brock left,
kyra seized power.

And kyra's never
been good with power.

Remember the time when I had to go
to the store and I had kyra watch jake,

And, by the time I got back, she
had changed his name to philip?

Yeah.

You know, though,
he looks like a philip.

I think it's just best if
she moves back home.

That is never going
to happen, mom.

Come on. She's living every teenager's
dream. She's running the house.

The person who used to be the parent is now
basically like a roommate that can drive.

Yeah, that's probably why she's
been canceling all those dinners.

I mean, why come over here when she
can do whatever she wants over there?

I'm starting to wonder
what we're doin' over here.

This is a mess. This whole
brock-moving-out thing was dumb.

Now it's gettin' even dumber.

What are you gonna do? Can
you force her to move back here?

I don't wanna do anything rash
if it's only gonna be a day or two.

But I'll have to do something
if this foolishness gets worse,

And brock, god forbid, decides
to move out permanently.

Wait a minute, you don't think
that could really happen, do you?

Happened to me.

You know what this
is? This is screwed up.

Oh, honey, don't worry. Your
dad will be back eventually.

Soon he'll get tired of
all that peace and quiet.

It's not funny, van.

I didn't mean anything. I know.

He's gonna go back, isn't he?

You know what, van?

I used to be able to
read brock like a book.

Of course, it was a fiction book,
but, nevertheless, I could read him.

Lately I just... I just
can't do it. [knocking]

Hey.

Yeah, yeah. You're right!

- Right about what?
- It doesn't matter.

All that matters is I was right.

Do me a favor, would ya? Pretend
that I came over to borrow something.

I just need a little break
from chatty jake. [Chuckles]

So, how's the
condo coming along?

- It's starting to look good.
- When are you gonna
rent it out again?

Oh, I don't know. We'll just
have to see how things go.

You are gonna rent
it out again, right?

Like I said, reba, we'll just
have to see how things go.

You want my opinion? No.

Well, that's never
stopped me before.

Brock, what you need to
do is stop all this silliness.

Do whatever you have to do,
but get back into that house.

You know, my therapist says...

Working on the marriage is
a lot like fixing up the condo.

If I'm gonna do it right, I
have to do it all the way.

So I'm not gonna stop
until this job is done.

Maybe you need to tell your
therapist that there's a difference.

You're living in your condo
while you're fixing it up.

Maybe you need to live
in your marriage too.

Okay, I'll pass
that right along.

All right, hold it.
Hold it just a second.

Just give me an idea of how
long this little game of yours...

Stop calling it a
little game or silliness.

This is the most serious
thing in my life right now, okay?

Okay.

Hey, there you are.

Glad I found you.

Not so glad I found you
on your angry bench.

I wasn't making light of
what's going on with your dad...

Van, does marriage
mean anything?

What marriage? Our marriage?

No, any marriage.
Just marriage...

Saying that you're gonna
be with one person forever.

Well, yeah. Of course
it does. does it?

I mean, really, van, or is it...

Is it just like when
you're a kid and...

And you say your favorite
candy's reese's pieces?

Then you go to a candy store
and pick up a box of raisinettes.

Someone comes up to
you. They say, "I thought

Your favorite candy
was reese's pieces."

And you say, "I thought so too."

But you're standing there with
a box of raisinettes in your hand.

What are you saying?

That you would pick
raisinettes over reese's pieces?

Van, I'm trying to be serious.

I know, babe. You're
just... You're just upset.

And you're upset because of something that
happened between barbra jean and your dad.

Well, guess what, cheyenne?
You and I are not them.

She's kind of an airhead,
and he's kind of a big goof.

We're not them.

We're not, are we? No.

I... I don't know what marriage
means to them or to anybody else.

But does marriage mean
somethin' to you and me?

Of course it does. You
know what it means?

It means you're the only piece
of candy I even see in the store.

I'll unwrap you. [Chuckles]

Philip. Van.

- Hey.
- Hey.

I'm here because I need
you to do something,

Even though you're
not gonna wanna do it.

Do what? I want you
to move back home.

Mom, no.

Kyra, honey, your dad and
barbra jean's separation...

Is gonna go on for a while.

I mean, it could go
on for a long time.

Okay, fine. But why does
that have to disrupt my life?

Why is it every time parents mess up
their lives, the kids get jerked around?

Okay. Cut the drama, okay?

I know why you're not wanting to
move home, kyra. You're in charge.

You're livin' every
teenager's dream over here.

Dream? Yeah.

It's definitely every teenager's dream
to have their stepmom dress like them.

And if it can possibly be in the
mall where all her friends can see it,

Why, that's the very
best dream of all.

Well, then I don't get it. Why do you want
to stay here? [barbra jean] kyra, honey?

where are you? mom, can we
talk about this later, please?

[Sighs] I'll come
over later. I promise.

Oh, hey, kyra. Hey.

You know, I don't know if I
feel like going to the park.

I just feel kinda... Blah.

- Maybe I'll just watch
some tv.
- No, no, no.

We told henry we're going,
and now he's all excited.

You'll feel way better once
we get out in the fresh air, okay?

Well,

I guess, since
we did tell henry.

Mm-hmm. Okay.

Hey, maybe we can hit
the mall afterwards.

We could both get that
mesh top we saw last time.

The mall.

Yeah. I love going
to the mall now.

The sales people are
starting to recognize us.

Sure, barbra jean,
we can do that.

Okeydokey, smoky.

Kyra? Yeah.

During this, um... This thing,

I don't know what
I'd do without you.

You'd probably dress
like henry. [chuckles]

You. There's the sense of
humor that keeps me going.

So, that's why
you're staying here.

The first couple of
days after dad left,

She made a big deal
about all the people she

Was seeing and all
the stuff she was doing.

She'd get all dressed
up, but, after she left,

I'd see her in her car
at the end of the block.

Then she stopped
even pretending.

She'd just sit around in her
sweats, order pizza and watch tv.

Oh, man. That's what I did.

It was getting bad. So I just started
asking her to do things with me...

Go to record
stores, go to the mall.

So you've been
baby-sitting barbra jean,

Which means, technically, my
mother's intuition was correct.

Kinda like joe's burger barn.

Everything was fine
until the other day.

I was looking at a pair of pants,
when I heard the chilling words...

[Imitating barbra] "I wonder if
they have that in my size."

Okay. I need to
tell you two things.

First of all, you are a
beautiful, wonderful child.

Maybe you just raised me right.
Also, I watch a lot of 7th heaven.

And the second thing is,
sweetheart, you are a 15-year-old girl.

It's not your job to try to fix the
problems of a bunch of grown-ups.

She needs me, mom. Nobody
ever needed me before.

I don't know. [Sighs]

You said the separation
might go on for a while. yeah.

You know what? I think so too.

But I don't think
barbra jean thinks so.

If I move out, it's like we're all
saying dad is never coming back.

Oh, kyra.

If this is gonna happen,

I wanna see ya. I
wanna talk to you a lot.

And I want you to be honest with
me about how things are going.

I will be. I promise.

Okay.

Cute top. Wonder if
they make that in my size.

acme! [Cough]