01x12 - Truth or Dare

[bunniefuu]

Come on! Do it,

or I will drop you
on your head.

Ha ha ha!

All right,
I'm gonna do it.
Here I go.

Come on!

Do it!

Go! Go!

Go! Go! Go!

Aah!
Whoa.

All right.

You've still got it, hal, baby!

I did it! Whoo!

Dad, what the hell?

Steven, you're here.

Come here. Come here.

I want you to meet dingleberry.

Hi.
D.B. And I
are old fraternity buddies.

He just got divorced, too.

Women may come and go,

but brotherhood...

Brotherhood is forever.

And you know that d.B.'S son

is the sage of
theta delta zeta at unec.

That's right,
and it's rush week,

and he's always looking
for some quality guys,

so you should
stop by the house
and say hi to him.

I've already kinda got
my group of friends.

Well, bring
your friends with you,

unless they've got something
against free beer and chicks.

Eh heh heh...

Steven, this is a good thing,

because you and I
are already father and son

and now, maybe
we can be brothers.

Hey, hal,
you got any dirty ones?

Oh, yeah.
I got a lot in there.

I'm auditioning
for the part of lee,
the a*usive brother.

I've got to do
an american accent.
Listen to this:

Do you want to
get a hamburger

and some french fries?

Then we'll jump
in my pickup truck

and go to the ballpark
and get us a hotdog.

Daddy, I don't want your life.

That's really good.

You think so?
Yeah.

Wow. Do you want to
help me learn lines?

Oh, yeah.
Sure, I'd love to.
That would be wicked.

What can I do?

You can be mom.

Ha ha ha!

Oh, look, steve, it's your mom.

Oh! Come on.

Ooh!

Come on!
I'm tryin'!

Come on, dude!

Dreeee!

Oh!

You suck!

You suck! You suck!

Oh, you suck so bad.

I'm not playing
with him anymore.

You're just weak,
is what you are.
You're weak.

Why am I weak?
'Cause I can't outwrestle
your stupid cartoon guy?

Yeah. Among other things.

Hey, ron,
who do you think's
got a sweeter a*s...

rachel or lizzie?

Just don't talk about
lizzie that way, please.

Oh, do you own
lizzie's a*s now?

Did I not get that notice?

Yeah, steve.
We didn't realize

you were the major
shareholder in l.A.

Lizzie's a*s.
Whoo...

How come you guys
never make fun of marshall?

He hasn't been with a girl
all year long.

Yeah, come on, guys.
Don't make fun
of steve

or his breasts will lactate.

What does that even mean?
That's not clever.

Yeah, guys, that's not clever.

I mean, seriously, guys,
don't make fun of me

'cause it's just not wicked,
and if it carries on,

I'm gonna go
and do lizzie's laundry.

Whatever.

Do you guys wanna
go to that rush party
tonight or not?

No.
No.

No.

Fraternity's are evil, ok?
They brainwash you.

They steal your soul,

and they take
your first born,
for god's sakes.

And you are the first born.

So I guess you guys

don't care about
free beer and chicks.

Free?

♪ Ooh, baby... ♪

I've never been
to a fraternity house
before.

Isn't it exciting?

The only reason I'm going
is to get out of here
for a while.

Tina has been
playing that song
for 2 hours straight,

and I hated it 2 years ago.

I think it's catchy.

Come on, rachel.
Maybe there'll be some
sorority girls there.

We could be sisters!

Sorority girls?

Give me a break.

"Are you going to the sigma
party saturday night?

"I think jeremy likes you.
Hee hee!

"I love your hair,
and I love you,

and I'm not just sayin' that
'cause I'm so wasted."

Well, I like organizations.

When I was little,
I was in the brownies.

I've got all the badges.
Oh, my god! Brownies!

What a coincidence!

Those smell so good.

You can have some if you want.

No, thanks. I just flossed.

Oh, thanks.

So you're sure
you don't want to come?

No, I'm cool.
I'm gonna stay home,

do my homework,
listen to my song.

Ok.

Bye.

Bye.

♪ It's in my face ♪

um, just stick with me.

I've got, like, an in, I think.

Hey, um, I'm steven karp.

Beast-wh*re.

Um, I think
my name's on a list.

My dad's an alumni...
hal karp.

Good for you,
but it's an open party.

Oh, yeah.

Way to work the connections,
there, steve.

Thanks for the hookup, bro.

Thanks.

Howdy.

Beast-wh*re.

Oh, yeah.

This looks like fun!

Yeah. This
is gonna be cool.

It will be when I find the keg.

Oh, you're talkin'
my language, ron.

Do not leave me.

Do you
think they're gonna
I.D. Us?

Wow, I hope not.
I didn't think of that.

I didn't
bring mine.

Oh, no. That's terrible.

Oh, I know that girl.

Whoo!

Whoo-hoo!

Hi. I'm books,
theta delta zeta sage.

Oh, yeah.
I'm steven karp.

I think I met your dad,
uh, dingleberry?

Whoa! Did you just
call my dad a dingleberry?

He told me his name
was dingleberry.

Ha ha ha! Relax.
Relax, steve.

I'm just kiddin'.
Heh heh.

So you're the son
of hal karp, huh?

The halcoholic?
Pukemaster general?

Ha ha...

I see you brought
a lovely young lady
with you.

How are you, beautiful?

You know, you would
make a lovely addition
to our little sisters.

Thanks.

Delicious.

Uh, can I help you
find something?

Yeah, uh, where's the beer at?

Oh, I'm sorry, man.
This is a dry rush,

but don't worry.
Brother tate makes a k*ller
strawberry smoothie, man,

with wheat grass,
pharmaceutical-grade ginseng,

b-12, man.

k*ller buzz.

No. Really, man.
Where's the beer?

Does that guy have a beer?

And it only costs
$300 a semester.

We would love for you
to join, man.

So it costs money to join?

Well, think of it as,
like, a savings account,

but the dividends
are parties and chicks,
man.

I don't have any money.

Huh.

Hey, gerbil!

What's up, man?

How you doin', man?

If you're a member
of a greek organization,

chances of graduating
increase to over 70%.



Is that true?

Yeah, as far as I know,
but listen to this:


executives
are fraternity men.

That is a surprisin' statistic.

I know. I know.

The little sisters
are like a sorority
within a fraternity.

And we always
get first dibs on
all the cute guys.

That's 'cause we design
their homecoming float.

Pssst! It's gonna
be a pirate ship.
Shush!

Cool.

And we're almost
like best friends.

Do you guys have room
for one more?

I won't tell
about the pirate ship.

We always have room
for one more.

Yay. Heh heh.

We're the hottest frat
on campus.

This
is the best decision
you'll ever make.

There's always
something to do
and someone to do.

Take a look around.
There's 30 guys,

and they're all here for you.

It's like
having a family
of 30 brothers,

and your parents
are always out of town.


and incest is best.

College is a theme park.
This is the twister,

so strap in
and don't be afraid
to puke.

If this is the playboy mansion,

we're all hugh hefner.

This is brandy, the head
of our little sisters.

Hi. Steve... isn't it?

Yep.
So are you
gonna join?

We could always use
more cute guys here.

Well... well, then, uh...
I'm happy to oblige.

T-d-z!

T-d-z!

Cheers!

This is gonna be really cool.

T-d-z!

T-d-z!

T-d-z!

T-d-z!

Hey!

It's freddy fraternity.

Steve, lloyd's been working
on his american accent.

Oh, cool.
Let's hear it.

For the low, low price
of $500 a semester,

not only will I
be your best friend,

but I'll also
get you a job in
a fortune 500 company.

You're kidding me.
Tell me more.

If you sign up now,

we'll include a free strawberry
smoothie with ginseng.

Whatever.

Come on, man.

You can't take
a little razzing?

It's what guys do
to each other, steve.

No, but you guys don't
do it to each other.

You only do it to me.

Uh-oh. He's caught on.

Hey, steve,

I hear fraternities
tie a brick
around your thing

and then throw the brick
out a window.

Yeah. Right.

Hey! Look who it is.

Hey, books, brandi.

Hey, you guys.
Hey, steven.

So we're gonna go
play some paintball.
You wanna come?

Come on, steve.
You can be on my team.

Yep. I would love
to get outta here.

Ladies.

Uh...

Did he just blow us off?

Yep.

Let me guess.

You guys
were assigned to
live together.

Yeah.

You know who that woman is?

I have no idea...
uh, your mom.

It's judy buddisker,
the head of the
housing department.

Look at her face.

Memorize it.

This is the woman
who picked
your roommates.

Do you want this woman
deciding who
your friends are?

No.

I think it's time
you picked your friends
for yourself.

Hey, I had so much fun
at your party.

Oh, my gosh, me, too.
I love your top.

Thanks. I love your top.

Well, hey, we're gonna
go play some paintball.
You guys wanna come?

That sounds so cool.
I'd love to.

How about you?

I don't paintball.

She's allergic to paint.

You know,
that really is
a nice top.

Oh, thanks.

I've got it in blue.

♪ How bizarre, how bizarre ♪

♪ ooh, baby ♪

♪ ooh, baby ♪

♪ it's makin' me crazy ♪

hi.

Um, could you please
stop playing this song?

But I like it.
It's catchy.

Oh...Um...
♪ every time
I look around ♪

see, it's driving me crazy.

I mean, it's the most
annoying song I've ever heard.

♪ ...Face ♪

could you at least
turn it down?

Sure. I can do that.

I have it at 7.
I'll bring it down to 3.

Thanks.

♪ Clowns have stuck around ♪

♪ tv news and cameras ♪

♪ there's choppers in the sky ♪

♪ marines, police,
reporters ask ♪

♪ where, for and why? ♪

♪ brother pele's in the back ♪

♪ sweet zina's in the front ♪

♪ Cruisin' down
the freeway... ♪

will you shut that crap off?

No! You're not
the boss of me.

You are so selfish.

You're just mad at me

because your roommate
blew you off to
be a little sister

and now you're stuck with me.

No. I'm mad because you're
an obsessive/compulsive
lunatic

who keeps playing
the same song over
and over again.

♪ How bizarre ♪

♪ how bizarre ♪

this is the best part.

♪ Ooh, baby ♪

♪ ooh, baby ♪

♪ it's makin' me
crazy ♪

Hey, you guys
wanna go to the quad
and play hacky-sak

and, like, show off
all our skills to
all the chicks?

Without steve around,
you really get
a good view

of just what a complete
moron marshall is, huh?

That's very perceptive, ron.

Oh, ok. Mm-hmm.

All right, I see
what's goin' on here.

I'm the new
whipping boy, right?

Why me? Why not you

or... or you, ron?

Let's put it to a vote.

All those in favor of marshall?

Oh.

Ok, we definitely
need a 4th here.

Hit him!

Stop jumping and hit him!

I don't get it.
Why doesn't anything happen
when I push this button?

Uh, because you suck.

It's true. I suck
at video wrestling.

How will I tell my parents?

Know what?
No. I'm not playing
this stupid thing anymore.

This isn't fun.

No, no, no, no, no.
Come on.

Perry's a good addition
to our... to our g*ng.

Where the hell is steven?

He's supposed to
run lines with me.

Oh, hi, mama.
Me and austin
were just wrestlin'.

He looks like he's in pain,
but he's fine.

"As your mother,

"I am very disappointed
that you want to
k*ll your brother.

She sighs and exits
with her luggage."

Perry, don't read
the stage directions.

Oh, my god.

Please be seated.

Do you solemnly swear
your loyalty

and enthusiasm

as little sisters to
the theta delta zeta fraternity?

We all say "yes."

I didn't hear you?!

We all say, "yes!"

Ok, you're in.
Congratulations.

You're official little sisters.

Yay!
Whoo!

Oh, my god!
I was so scared!

I thought you were
gonna put us through
something messy.

♪ Oh ♪

♪ one day I asked myself ♪

♪ "hey, steve, what kind of
man would I like to be?" ♪

♪ I'd like to be
an honorable man ♪

♪ like the man in a fraternity ♪

♪ and that's how I became a ♪

♪ theta delta zeta ♪

♪ theta delta zeta ♪

♪ that is what I am ♪

♪ oh ♪

♪ yes ♪

steve, when you've finished
practicing your show tunes,

can I have a word, please?

All right.
I'll, uh...
Be right back.

Uh, that song is wicked.

That brit's a g.D.I.

Yeah?

Look, man, we're
sorry that we weren't
very nice to you, ok?

But we just really
feel like you shouldn't
join a fraternity.

It's cool.
I'm just takin' part
in campus activities.

It's called a cult.

It's called brotherhood,

and don't tell me
what to do, please.

Seriously, steve...

That song is not
very good, you know?

Look, we don't always
only have to hang out
with each other.

I'm just making new friends.

Hey, steven.

It's time for you
to become a greek god.
Yes!

You must be real proud
of this guy, huh?

Steven rocks.

Yeah, we know.



♪ Oh ♪

♪ one day, I asked myself,
"hey, steve" ♪

♪ what kind of man
would I like to be? ♪

♪ I'd like to be
an honorable man ♪

oh, hey, guys.

Hey, hey.

What in the hell is that?

Are we on the right floor?

Are there more in our room,

you think, maybe?

What the...?

It's decorations, man.

Looks, uh...
Looks pretty.

Theta delta zeta? Yeah.

A little more
like theta delta dorka.

I cannot believe steven
is joining those guys.

That kid could not
become a bigger dork

if he went
on the road following
the dave matthews band.

You will not
recognize him when
he's done pledging.

How long will that take?



he's a brother for life.

I like the dave matthews band.

Oh, yeah? Well,
I hear they're touring
the south next month.

Maybe you could
see them and catch up
on old times.

All right,
steve's pledge ceremony's
in 11 minutes.

I say we go save steven.

You have a car, right, perry?

Yes.

Grab your fishin' poles, boys.

We're gonna catch us some carp.

♪ Ooh, baby ♪

♪ it's makin' me crazy ♪

♪ it's makin' me crazy ♪

♪ every time I look around ♪

♪ around ♪

♪ every time I look around ♪

♪ every time I look around ♪

♪ I want to rock ♪

♪ rock ♪ ♪ rock ♪

♪ rock ♪ ♪ rock ♪

♪ rock ♪ ♪ rock ♪

♪ I wanna rock ♪

♪ it's in my face ♪

♪ ooh-ooh ooh-ooh ooh ♪

♪ ooh-ooh,
ooh ooh-ooh ♪

♪ ooh ooh-ooh
ooh-ooh ooh-ooh ♪

♪ ooh ooh-ooh
ooh-ooh ooh ooh ♪

♪ I saw the sun ♪

♪ and it opened up my eyes ♪

♪ I saw the sun ♪

♪ no one's gonna
try to give up ♪

♪ I get knocked down,
but I get up again ♪

♪ you're never
gonna keep me down ♪

♪ I get knocked down ♪

♪ ahai ahai ahai ahai ♪

♪ ahai ♪

♪ a la tuhuelpa legria
macarena ♪

♪ que tuhuelce
paralla... ♪

♪ what's new, pussycat? ♪

♪ whoa whoa whoa whoa ♪

♪ what's new, pussycat? ♪

♪ h*, hey ♪

♪ h* ♪

Wait. You're playing this?

Yeah. You like
enrique iglesias?

Yeah. I think he's sexy.

I think he's sexy, too.

So do you just wanna
listen to this cd?

Yeah. I love this song.

Ok.

Yeah.

♪ I can't sleep ♪

♪ I can't sleep ♪

gentlemen...

Get to know each other well.

Because you guys are the future
of this fraternity,

and you're gonna
be best friends for life.

That guy's
gonna be the best man
in your wedding.

He's gonna bail you outta jail.

You ever need
an organ transplant?

Liver, kidney, bone marrow.

That's why god gave you 2
of everything.

And 5 brothers to turn to.

Steven, when you wake up
in a dumpster in minnesota
at 3:00 in the morning,

who you gonna call?

That guy.

When you die,
these are the guys

that are gonna
carry your casket,

dig the hole,

and lower you into the ground.

Hi. I'm steven.

Jim.
Nice to meet you.

Faster, boy, faster.
Don't make me get the hose.

Actually, lloyd,
this is a school zone,

and, in this country,
it's ill*gal to
run over children.

Get your stick outta
your butt and go, man!

Go, man!
Come on!

Shut up! Shut up!

Fine.
You guys are paying
for the ticket.

Neophytes, as you
begin your journey,

you must walk across
the great hot sands
of the desert.

Though your feet may blister,

walk on, you must.

So do any
of you gumshoes

know what
theta delta zeta
looks like?

'Cause that might help.

I know what it looks like.

There's, like,
this pyramid thing,

and then there's this "z,"

and then the first
letter's like a, uh,

it's like a boob
with a bow tie.

Boob with a bow tie?

Uh, no, marshall,
that's your
chippendale's calendar.

Hey, shut up, perry, and drive!

You're not allowed
to make fun of me,

so step on it, you dumb a*s.

Be warned...

You will encounter
many great storms
on your journey.

Did you say it looked
like a boob with a bow tie?

Yeah! Boob
with a bow tie!

Boob with
a bow tie!
Pull over!

Pull over!

But when the clouds clear,

you can bask
in the warming glow

of knowledge, brotherhood,
and enlightenment

that is theta delta zeta.

Whoa, guys, this
is a private ceremony.
Nobody's allowed in.

Hey, I remember this guy.
It's beast-wh*re, right?

You let us in before?
I said no, man.

Congratulations, neophytes.

You have commenced
your journey,

but beware the minotaur
of malfeasance.

All right,
there's a pledge party
and hot chicks upstairs.

It's time to get pinned, boys!

Party! Party!

Party!

Ow! Come on!

Get him off, lloyd.
Get him off me!

Get him off me!

You just made
your last mistake.

I'm gonna rain on you, boy.

Oh, yeah?

Oh!

You hit me in the bloody nose!

Why don't you
fight like a man?!

And what's with your voice?
You're not even american.

This guy's not even american.

I can see him.

I see the...

Steve!

This is
your pledge pin.

It should be worn at all times.

Steve!

As a symbol of your loyalty.

Don't do the fraternity!

Hey, steve!
Steve!

Steve!

Let's go this way.
Come on.

Steve!

Steve!
Right here!

Steve!
Steve!

Steve!
Right here!

Steve!

See ya later, buddies!

Take a trip! Ha ha!
See ya later.

Thanks for stoppin' by.

I hate my life.

I hate my life.

Congratulations!

I'll be aphrodite,
and you can be my zeus.

I am so happy right now.
This is, like, awesome.

Pledge, go get lizzie
and me a drink.

What's the magic word?

Heh heh.

The magic word
is "yes, sir."

You're a pledge now.
I own your a*s, steve-o.

Yes, sir.

And when you're done,

I want you to go upstairs
and clean my room,
wall-to-wall.

Yes, sir!

Go! Now! Go!

Yes, sir.

So, "lizzie,"
is that short
for somethin'?

Is steven coming back...
you know what?

You don't have to worry
about him.

He's my b*tch now.

If you're ever to go
mountain-climbin',

who are you gonna go with?

These guys.

You fall off the mountain,
who you gonna fall with?

These guys.

You ever need
a piggyback, steven,

these are the guys who won't
laugh at you when you ask.

It's true.

You can go
scuba-diving together

and share the same mask

when one of you
runs out of air.

Oh, yeah.
It's happened to me.

Come on.