02x31 - The Sad Dad

[bunniefuu]

WOMAN: ♪ Hey, now... ♪

♪ Hey, wow... ♪

♪ Here's how ♪

♪ Come and read ♪

♪ Between the lions ♪

CHORUS: ♪ Come on ♪

♪ Come in ♪

♪ Begin ♪

♪ The world awaits ♪

WOMAN: ♪ Between the lions ♪

♪ Between the covers of a book ♪

♪ It's time to look between the lions ♪

♪ Behold the tales beyond the tails ♪

CHORUS: ♪ Behind the door ♪

♪ Become, explore ♪

♪ Come in between the lions ♪

♪ Begin between the lions ♪

♪ Be here between the lions! ♪

( chuckling )

( Lionel and Leona arguing )

Oh, that's a keeper.

Cubs, listen!

Will you please keep it down in the library?

( cubs still arguing in distance )

Eeh...

Uh...

Click!

The cubs are in that book there

about ships, The Admiral's Adventure.

LIONEL: We're on the high seas.

I'm having an adventure.

Oh, that's my toe!

Oh, Leona, could you please stay over there?

I am over there.

You bumped into me.

There's just not enough room in this book.

This is bad.

This is so bad.

This is terrible-- it's very, very bad.

Listen...

Engaging drag and drop.

( beeping )

( whooshing; Theo yelling )

( thud )

All right, look, what's the problem, cubs?

Dad, Dad, this is very bad.

It's very bad.

There's not enough room in this book.

Yes, and it's making me mad.

Yes, and it couldn't get any worse.

Couldn't get any worse, eh?

You know, I know a story

that I think you two should hear.

I'll go get it.

Click, drag me out!

( Theo squeals )

( thud )

What took you so long?

Eh, okay, gather round.

This is a Russian folk tale...

THEO ( reading ):

( splat )

( wet thwack )

THEO:

( wet thwack )

THEO:

Speak to the wise woman.

That's me.

O wise woman, there's no room in my house

for all of my family.

Maybe I'm not making myself clear.

I look at you, and I think...

But I can solve all your troubles.

THEO: So the wise woman charged the sad dad eight kopecks.

Eight kopecks?

In advance.

THEO:

Bring all your animals into the house.

Bring all my animals into the house.

THEO:

THEO:

CLEO: Theo, my love, could you please read louder?

Read louder, Cleo, my sweet?

Yes, everyone is trying to hear you read.

Yeah, man, we never looked at one book

and heard a lion inside it

reading a different book before.

Way nutty, man.

( sighs )

You know, Cleo, if everyone wants to hear this story

why don't we have Click drag and drop you all in here, hmm?

What?

What?

All of us?

Yep-- Send them in, Click.

CLICK: Executing command.

( whooshing, thudding and squealing )

And now...

BUSTER: Huh! Just what the world needs.

"Dear Walter and Clay Pigeon

"I want to be a basketball player.

"What should I do?

Signed, Adam, age 37."

Adam, our advice is, um... um...

Uh...

Feed the pigeons.

Yeah, right.

What?

That is bad advice.

Very bad advice.

Hey, it could be, uh...

Worse?

Yeah, we could tell all pigeons

to come and sit on Buster's...

Uh... head!

Yeah!

( laughing )

BUSTER: Don't make me mad.

( pigeons stammering )

Bye!

This has been...

Bad.

( makes short "a" sound )

Hey, it's standing room only

for Martha Reader and the Vowelles

screaming that fabulous short "a"-- "aah"-- sound

in the world "flag."

( Martha singing repeated short "a" sound to pop tune )

( Vowelles respond rhythmically with short "a" sound )

( crowd makes short "a" sound )

( monkeys hooting )

An.

A... n... an.

( whistles )

( makes B sound )

B... an... ban.

Ban.

( whistles )

J... o... jo.

Ban... jo.

"Banjo."

( imitates banjo picking tune )

Banjo.

( heavy metal music playing )

♪ "b" and "d" confusion ♪

♪ Really drains my brain ♪

♪ Sometimes b-i-g, "big" ♪

♪ Looks like d-i-g, "dig" ♪

♪ "b" and "d" are driving me insane! ♪

♪ When I look at those crazy letters ♪

♪ "b" and "d"-- they look a little alike ♪

♪ But "bunk" and "dunk" ♪

♪ And "boom" and "doom" ♪

♪ Are as different as day and night. ♪

♪ When I look at them close together ♪

♪ I can see they're kind of turned around ♪

♪ But "bent" and "dent" ♪

♪ And "bare" and "dare" ♪

♪ Have a very, very different sound. ♪

♪ ♪ ♪

♪ "b" and "d" confusion ♪

♪ Turn my "bread" to "dread" ♪

♪ When I see the word "brag" ♪

♪ Sometimes think it's a "drag" ♪

♪ "b" and "d," you're messin' with my head. ♪

♪ ♪ ♪

♪ "b" and "d" confusion ♪

♪ Thought my "bog" was a "dog." ♪

♪ ♪ ♪

♪ "b" and "d" confusion... ♪

♪ ♪ ♪

♪ Got my mind in a fog... ♪

♪ ♪ ♪

♪ "b" and "d" confusion... ♪

♪ ♪ ♪

♪ Thought my "brink" was a "drink" ♪

Ha!

Imagine my surprise!

I tried to drink my brink!

What do you think?!

( laughs )

WOMAN:

( snaps fingers quietly )

( Leona humming tune )

Huh?

What?

What...

WOMAN: Can you read that, Leona?

Um... uh...

( sounding out "a dan" )

No.

That's right.

Very good, Leona.

It's a dan-cer.

A dancer.

A dancer?

A dancer.

( piano begins playing )

( music ends )

Uncle Albrecht!

Would you like to dance with me, Leona?

Oh, yes, yes, yes!

Let's dance together.

Okay.

( piano resumes playing )

( everyone in book talking over each other )

LEONA: When are you going to finish that book?

As soon as everyone's here, Leona.

Click, is that everyone?

( bang )

I am losing power.

Hey, wait for me!

CLICK: I hope I have the strength to lift Heath.

Did she say "Heath"?

( all gasp )

( all screaming as Heath falls )

( loud thud )

Oh, this is bad... so bad!

Hurry up, Dad, read the story!

I... can't... get... the book... open!

( all shouting )

( music begins )

MAN: ♪ If you can read A-T, "at" ♪

♪ Then you can read "cat" and "chat" ♪

♪ And you can read "bat" and "brat" ♪

♪ And you can read "drat" ♪

CHORUS: ♪ See, I got you reading with me ♪

♪ All you need is a little A-T ♪

♪ If you can read A-T, "at" ♪

♪ Then you can read "fat" and "flat" ♪

♪ And you can read "sat" and "scat" ♪

♪ And you can read "splat" ♪

♪ See, I got you learning with words ♪

♪ Don't you love every "at" that you've heard? ♪

♪ If you can read A-T, "at" ♪

♪ Then you can read "pat" and "hat" ♪

♪ And you can read "rat" ♪

♪ And you can read "bat" ♪

♪ 'Cause you can read "at." ♪

F...

L...

A... T.

( laughing )

"Flat."

"Flat."

Yes, I've done it!

I've done it!

Watson, get in here quickly!

( grunts )

Oh, I'm sorry, Dr. Nitwit.

It... is...

"Nitwhite"!

Yes, yes!

Watson!

Cast your eyes on my latest and greatest discovery:

the only... I say the only four-letter word

in the English language

with the A-T-- "at"-- sound on the end:

the word "flat."

( chuckles )

"Flat"?

Yes.

"Flat."

Well, how about that?

Yes, I know, isn't it...?

What did you say?

How about that?

Oh, no...

"That."

"That"?

Oh, no, no, no!

Why don't I just scat?

"Scat"?!

( groans )

Bye, Dr. Nitwit.

That's "Nitwhite"!

Right!

Oh, drat!

( gasping and shrieking )

( groaning )

CLEO: And now, one of Hollywood's brightest stars, Roma Downey

reading a poem about this and that.

DOWNEY: "This and That" from The Butterfly Jar by Jeff Moss.

( cheering and applause )

Oh, that was...

that was lovely.

Thank you, that's very nice.

( monkeys exclaim )

Oh, did you hear that?

This is too much.

( cheering and applause )

I don't deserve this.

( monkeys exclaiming )

Thank you.

Okay, that's enough.

( monkeys exclaiming )

♪ ♪ ♪

MAN: ♪ The team called the Madison Cats ♪

♪ had a terrible problem with rats ♪

♪ Said the catcher, "Let's see, if we swap R for B ♪

♪ We can turn all those rats into bats." ♪

( organ plays "Charge!" theme )

MAN: ♪ Swami Smarmy Marmy-- that's the swami's name ♪

♪ And reading what the future writes is Swami Marmy's game! ♪

Come in, future...

come in, future.

Write to me in this crystal ball.

I want to read what the future brings.

Huh?

The future isn't making much sense today.

♪ Oh, future! ♪

We need a rewrite here.

I got it! I got it!

Ooh!

Oh!

Nice catch!

Oh, thanks!

( monkeys shouting )

Yay, team!

♪ ♪ ♪

( monkeys shouting )

I should have worn a helmet.

( groans )

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Leon Redbone.

REDBONE: Hmm...

The Barnaby B. Busterfield III Memorial Public Library--

I love it.

You'll find it all here cataloged A to Z

all according to the alphabet.

Here, check it out.

( music begins )

♪ A is for "Albrecht" and B is for "Busterfield" ♪

♪ And "Click" and "Cleo" start with C ♪

♪ D is for "Dot," E is for "Elephant" ♪

♪ And F is for "Fred" ♪

GAWAIN: ♪ I'm Gawain, and I start with G. ♪

REDBONE: ♪ H stands for "Heath" and I is for "Ines" ♪

♪ And J is for "Johnny Consonanti" ♪

♪ It's fun to sing about each person and thing ♪

♪ In the Busterfield Library ♪

♪ K stands for "King" ♪

♪ L is for "Lionel" and "Leona" ♪

♪ And "Leon"-- lots of luck ♪

♪ M is for "Marmy" ♪

♪ N is for "Nitwit" ♪

"Nitwhite"!

♪ O is for "Ox" and P is for "Puck" ♪

♪ Q is for "Queen" ♪

♪ R is for "Ram" ♪

♪ And S is for "Sam" ♪

♪ And "Tiger Words" starts with T ♪

♪ The Un-people's name has a U at the beginning ♪

♪ And the "Vowelles" start with V ♪

♪ W is for "Walter" ♪

♪ X marks the spot ♪

♪ Y is for "Yam," now we're up to Z ♪

( monkeys cheer )

♪ And Z is for "Zoo," now it's good-bye to you ♪

♪ From the Busterfield Library ♪

♪ We're proud to be in... ♪

♪ The Busterfield Library ♪

♪ We're A to Z in... ♪

ALL: ♪ The Busterfield Library. ♪

Yeah!

( song ends )

CLICK: Resources overtaxed.

Must go into sleep mode.

Snore... sleep mode.

CLEO: Everyone, everyone... everyone take a deep breath

so Theo can open the book.

Ready... one, two...

( all inhale deeply )

Got it!

( all exhale loudly )

Okay, uh, now, where were we?

Uh... uh, the wise woman told the sad family

to bring all their animals into the house.

And they had even less room to eat porridge

and less room to read and less room to...

to put on pants and stuff like that, yeah.

Whoa!

Very good summarizing!

Thanks, Dad.

Read the story!

Right, right, okay, okay.

Hmm...

I had a feeling you'd be back.

THEO: "So the wise woman charged the sad dad 18 kopecks."

( coins jingle, drop )

My advice to you:

Take the chickens out of the house.

Take the chickens out of the house.

( chickens clucking )

Oh, yes, wise woman.

THEO: "So the wise woman charged the sad dad 28 kopecks."

( coins jingle, drop )

My advice to you is

take the goats out of the house.

Take the goats out of the house.

( laughing )

( laughing ): Goats... goats!

THEO: "So the wise woman charged the sad dad 48...

58 kopecks!"

Take all the animals out of the house.

All the animals out of the house.

( laughing )

You know, barely enough room...

♪ ♪ ♪

( car horn beeps )

"The end."

( all grumbling )

You know, Lionel

I think that that story is kind of like this.

You know what I mean?

I mean, we thought it was bad

when it was just you and me

but it could be worse.

Yeah.

Dad?

Yeah.

You're trying to make a point and stuff

aren't you?

Oh, yes, I was.

Well, we get it, don't we?

Oh, yeah.

There's room for both Leona and me in this book.

( chuckles )

Yeah, yeah, see?

CLEO: Very good, Theo

but I think we can all go now.

Right, right.

Okay.

Let's do it like the story

and send the chickens out first.

Click!

Snore... sleep mode...

THEO: Click... Click, are you there?

She's in sleep mode!

ALL: Oh, no!

How are we going to get out of this book

and back into the library?

This is bad.

Oh, yeah.

ALL: Very bad!

Actually, remember the story?

Huh?

It could be worse.

( all agreeing )

ALL: No, it couldn't!

Click!

Click!

Click!

Click!

Snore... sleep mode... snore...

sleep mode... snore... sleep mode...

The Admiral's Adventure-- ooh!

It's the perfect book for me to read

on my two-year voyage around the world!

( all gasp )

I'd like to check this book out.

Where is everybody?

Hello?

Hello?!

Anybody?!

Snore... sleep mode... snore...

What kind of library is this?

And now it's time for...

BUSTERFIELD: Glad advice?

Huh! I'll be the judge of that.

CLAY ( reading ):

Madeline, our advice is, um...

Uh... feed the pigeons!

Yeah, feed the pigeons!

What?!

That's the same bad advice!

But feeding the pigeons makes us...

glad!

And you know...

PIGEONS: It could be worse!

Do pigeons make you mad, too?

Or is it just me?

It's just you.

Hi, Mr. Roker.

Hi, Leona.

Mr. Roker, could you be

my designated reader today?

I'd be happy to.

Wow, thank you!

You ready?

Yeah.

All right-- "It was a dark and stormy night..."

Ooh!

"Not fit out for man nor beast..."

Hmm?

♪ ♪ ♪

CHORUS: ♪ Between the lions... ♪

♪ Between the lions... ♪

WOMAN: ♪ Come in between the lions ♪

♪ Begin between the lions ♪

♪ Be here between the lions! ♪