02x02 - The Sun on Your Back

[bunniefuu]

[Nikki sighs]

I don't even know why we're doing this.
I've already got a shirt for work.

You need more than one outfit, Jase.
You're not a cartoon character.

[groans]

You're a manager now.

You can't go to work dressed in
the same shirt you buried your uncle in.

And we can't sit at home
waiting for news about James.

As soon as you forget,
the thing that you're waiting for happens.

Everyone knows that.

I don't wanna be one of those people
who sells out as soon as they make it.

I become a manager and
then suddenly I'm wearing a £34 shirt,

like I forgot where I came from.

Jase, this is not Dylan going electric.

This is you looking smart
on your first day after promotion.

-[phone buzzes]
-[both] Oh!

Oh, no, it's just Karen.

Aw, she's asked me
to go wedding dress shopping.

She never asks me to do things like that.

Right, I need to nail this.

Maybe I should take the morning off work
tomorrow to do a mood board.

[mimics snore]

No, that's crazy. I'll just do
a couple of hours when I get in tonight.

-Oh, look! This is nice.
-Yeah.

-Oh, that's lovely.
-You like that? Let's have a look.

Yeah. That's all right, actually, innit?

-Yeah?
-Yeah, I don't--

-Oh, ah. No, hang on a second.
-[Nikki] Yeah?

-[Jason] Those are little ducks.
-I know.

-No, no. I thought they were dots.
-No, they're little ducks.

Nikki, my dad's from Dagenham.
He left school when he was 16.

-I can't wear a shirt with ducks on it.
-No, they're nice ducks.

I'm gonna spend the whole day making sure
people don't get close enough

to see they're not dots but little ducks.

-It's a lot of extra stress I don't need.
-I'm sorry. We're gonna get it.

It makes you look grown-up. It makes you
look like a manager, like a dad.

-Yeah, but I wanna be a cool dad.
-No. No, no, no.

No one wants cool parents.
My friend Cecile had cool parents,

and she had to do her homework
on a mini trampoline

because her mum sold her kitchen table
to pay for a clowning workshop.

We're just-- We're gonna be boring, okay?

-For James.
-Hmm. Hey.

You know it's not definite
that we're getting him, don't you?

-Yes, yes.
-Yeah?

No, I know. It's just... I jus--
I've got a good feeling about it.

-Let's have a look.
-Mm-hmm.

-[exhales] Yeah. All right, then.
-Yeah?

Is that the-- Yeah, right size.
Let's do it. Okay.

-I think it's nice.
-Okay.

Mate,
just so as you know, they're little ducks.

They made 'em really small so they look
like dots, but they're not. They're ducks.

FYI.

-Hello.
-All right.

-Hi. Mmm.
-Mmm.

Any news on James?

No, not yet,
but we're hoping to hear today, so...

-Oh, okay.
-[chuckles] Okay, so...

[Karen]
I don't wanna get crazy with this

like some people do.

No. Yeah, no. Of course not.

It's not like I've had
a vision of this day since I was a kid.

I'm not that sort of woman.

You know, I don't even wear perfume.

I just smell like whoever's shirt
I bought from the charity shop.

It's fine. It's just a dress.
Just a dress.

-[chuckles]
-Okay.

Whoo-hoo. [chuckles]

-Oh, my God.
-Oh, God.

-What she come as?
-[chuckles]

-Hello.
-Hello.

-Aw. [chuckles]
-Aw.

-Hello, muffin. Is this smart enough?
-What, to go to a shop? Yes, Mum.

Yeah, but it is posh, though, isn't it?

If it's not smart enough,
I'm really happy to stand outside.

-Oh, don't be daft.
-You're not standing outside.

[chuckles]

-You been doing some painting?
-What?

No, it's my shirt.

-Should we go?
-Oh, Jesus.

Come on. Let's go. [sighs]

-[Jilly] Where is it?
-Okay. It's just there.

[Jilly] Oh, fantastic.

[chattering]

Hi, guys.

[rattles]

Sweets there. So, everyone-- Okay.

So, guys. Wha-- Guys.

Come on, guys. Listen up a sec, please.

Lads!

The Wicked Witch is dead.

[cheers]

-And finally, the townspeople are free.
-[cheers, laughing]

-Whoo!
-No, no, se-- seriously, though.

Uh, I got-- I've got a few things
that I want to, um, talk about.

A few boring things. Get them out the way.

Uh, so I'm gonna put on
my little manager's hat. [chuckles]

Uh, written a few things down.
Uh-- Oh, hang on a sec.

[chattering resumes]

Right, anyway. Yeah. So, uh, back to it.

Um, all of your, uh, schedules

should now be synced to
the online diary, so please read.

Mate, if I didn't read Anne Frank's diary
for my GCSEs,

what chance have you got?
Do you know what I mean?

-[laughing]
-[laughs] Nice one. Nice one.

No, no-- [stammers] Seriously, though.
Seriously do, um, have a read.

Um, okay, I wanna talk about
lesson planning, because it--

[phone rings]

Oh, sorry. I've just got to... Yeah.

-Hello.
-Any news?

-I'm in a meeting.
-Okay, you sure you got a signal?

I'm in London,
and I'm on the phone to you, so--

-[feet thud on table]
-Kaia, those are for everyone. Okay?

-Are you sure your phone's fully charged?
-It was, but you keep calling me.

-Pew!
-[grunts]

-Jack, mate.
-Oh. Come on.

-[both yell]
-Listen, I've got to go.

-[stammers]
-[knocking]

Come on.

Yes. Sorry, sorry. Sorry.

Guys, so what I was saying about less--

All right. Okay,
let's just do this one, and then we'll...

[cheering]

Hey! All right, let's--
Have a-- Have a seat now.

Everyone stop...

[cheering]

[classical music plays]

Astra, Sienna, Lavinia.

All these dresses sound like people

that would have been a b*tch to me
at school.

This is all too nice. I should go.

-Would you like a drink?
-Oh, bubbly?

-[women] Thank you.
-You're welcome.

-Mm, very nice.
-I wasn't expecting this.

-Cheers to you.
-Cheers.

Yeah, no. No fuss.

All right, ladies. How we doing?
[chuckles]

-Hello.
-Daryl.

-Hi.
-All right?

Uh, my wife's ill.
Sorry, I'm not usually here, so...

I don't really know about all the dresses
and that, but I'll give it a whirl.

[chuckles]
I'm exhausts mainly, yeah. [inhales]

Yeah, she was gonna shut,
but to be honest,

it's, uh, ten exhausts to one of these,

so shut the garage instead.
You know what I mean?

Yeah, so go on. Who's getting married?

-Karen.
-My daughter.

Oh, all right.
Yeah, nice. Congratulations.

-Uh, and what's your fella's name?
-Scott.

Scott? That's my middle name.

-[chuckles]
-Huh. Oh.

-How funny.
-Funny.

What are chances of that?
That's magic. Oh, brilliant.

[Daryl sighs] Right.

So, uh, you know, style-wise, what ya--

What are you gonna go for then?

Well, just don't wanna look sh*t.

Okay, yeah. No, fair play, fair play.

Um, Melinda.

Uh, the steer is "not sh*t."

-Sure, we can do that. [chuckles]
-Thanks, love.

-Would you like to follow me?
-Go on, Karen.

[Daryl] Go on. Enjoy yourself.

-[Daryl] Ah.
-Whoo-hoo.

Ah, she'll have a nice time.

Hmm.

-[Daryl] Aw.
-[women] Aw.

-"A structured applique bodice"--
-Yeah, I don't like it.

Okay. [clicks tongue, inhales]

Yeah, I do prefer the ones
with the, uh... long bit.

-Sleeves?
-Yeah, sleeves. That's it, yeah.

Yeah, sleeves.

"The classic A-line is a tiered chiffon
which drapes effortlessly"...

-No!
-It's, um...

-Off she goes again. [chuckles]
-Yeah. [chuckles]

[sighs]

-So is your wife very poorly then?
-Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Both ends. Bless her. Yeah.

Here we go. Look at that.

-That's the business. Aw.
-Aw.

-Karen.
-Aw, I like it.

-[Nikki] Yeah. It's nice with that.
-[Daryl, Jilly] Yeah.

Cinderella once said,
"A dream is a wish your heart makes."

-[women] Ooh.
-[Daryl] So, you know.

[sighs] Oh, I don't know. It's fine.
How am I supposed to feel?

Well, Carol says when it's the one,
you cry. That's how you know.

Well, I haven't cried since 2012.

I don't sort of tend to go,
but when I go, like--

[blows] I'll go, do you know what I mean?

-Do ya?
-[Daryl] Yeah.

-Take your watch off.
-Why?

You don't wear a Casio watch
with a £2,000 wedding dress.

Well, how will I know what time it is?

It's your wedding day.
People will tell you the time.

-[Daryl] Mm-hmm.
-[scoffs]

That's why brides
don't get to the church on time.

People literally
taking their watches off them.

Don't touch me.

Is it her first wedding?

-[Jilly] Yeah.
-Yeah.

Oh, it is. Right, yeah.
Yeah, it's the best one, innit?

[Kaia] Come on, come on, come on.

-Yeah!
-[crowd cheers]

Yeah! [shouts]

Okay. All right, please.

-[woman] Forty. We're gonna make it forty.
-Forty, forty, forty, forty, forty, forty.

[sighs]

Okay. All right. So--

Oh, no. Hang on, don't leave. We've
still got lots of things to get through.

Guys. Guys, there's lots to get through
still-- you can't--

Do you know what that was about?

Why hold a meeting
if you've got nothing to say? [chuckles]

-[door closes]
-[sucks teeth]

Bloody hell.

[classical music continues]

I'm having a lovely time.

Aw.

[chuckles] Do you know, I've always
sort of wanted to be in a women's prison.

There's so much camaraderie, et cetera.

What about this?

-Eh, no. Nah.
-Oh, no.

-[Nikki] Mm-mmm.
-[sighs, groans]

[sighs, clears throat]

Do you think she's happy?

Yeah. Yeah, I do.

-You were always happy.
-[chuckles]

Well, in your way. [chuckles]

-I just want to see her smile.
-Hmm.

[sniffs, exhales] Any news?

No, not yet.

I've a good feeling, though.

[sighs]

What's it like?

What?

To have kids. To have all of this.

It's like the sun on your back.

[inhales]

[slurps]

-You know, I kissed a girl once.
-Okay. All right.

-[Karen] This one's not bad.
-Oh. Come on.

-[grunts]
-We're coming. We're coming.

Yeah.

-We're coming.
-We're coming. [chuckles]

[Jilly gasps]

[gasps]

[breathes heavily]

-Karen. [chuckles] That's beautiful.
-Yeah.

-It is.
-Is it?

Yeah. [sniffs]
Yeah, it is, yeah. It's banging, that is.

-Innit? Yeah. It's ab--
-Yeah.

-It's absolutely banging.
-[chuckles]

-I'm going, aren't I? [chuckles]
-[chuckles] Yeah.

[Daryl breathes shakily]

-Come here. [chuckles]
-[Jilly chuckles]

-[sniffs]
-[Jilly, Nikki laugh]

Ah. [clicks tongue] Oh.

Oh.

[Daryl, Nikki, Jilly laugh]

Bloody hell! Three grand?

[all sniffling, chuckling]

If I ask you for some management advice,

is there any chance of you
not being smug and annoying?

-Mate, of course.
-Freddy.

Oh.

-Sure?
-I'm sure.

Okay. All right. So wha-- what do I do?

Ah, well. Here's the thing.
Good managers are born.

-Can't learn how to be a manager.
-[clatters]

-Learned that at management school.
-Smug and annoying.

-Hey, Jase.
-Hiya-- Oh! Lit-- Little hug. Okay.

-There you go.
-Hmm.

-You're so British. [chuckles]
-[laughs]

-Any news on James?
-No. Hopefully today or tomorrow.

Want some caraway seed bread?

-No, thanks. I'm trying to give it up.
-No, try.

-Yeah?
-Mm-hmm.

All right. Just as is? Okay.

-Oh, my God.
-I know.

-I tell you what, that is-- Yeah.
-[chuckles]

I'm obsessed with it. It's the main reason
I can't afford to buy an apartment.

-What's going on?
-Jason can't handle his staff.

No, it's not that. It's tricky.

Because it's--
Because they're my friends as well.

Yeah, well, that sh*t doesn't work.

You can't be their friend
if you're their boss.

Why not?

Um, well, because
people like to hate their bosses.

Not all the time.

-Did you hate your last boss?
-Yeah, but it was different 'cause we--

Look,
we go to the pub and things like that.

Yeah, well, you shouldn't
because they go there to talk about you.

Look, you're the pilot,
they're the passengers.

How'd you feel if the pilot
stopped flying the plane,

came and sat next to you, and started
eating a tiny bag of peanuts, huh?

You'd freak out. 'Cause then you're asking
yourself, "Who's flying this plane?"

[Jason] Hmm.

You're a grown-a*s man.
Not everyone needs to like you.

Yeah, okay.

Okay, ready in 20?

-Yeah.
-It's gonna be a big one.

-The Bolivians are gonna come.
-[gulps] All of them?

Oh, yeah. [squeals]

-Thank you.
-You're welcome.

Great. Clever.

-How's it going, mate?
-Yeah, it's great. It's great.

-I am knackered.
-Yeah?

We got in at 4:00 this morning,

and we were up at 7:00 to go and
help her friend move flat in Walthamstow.

Oh, no.

She's just so perky and undefeated.

It's like her shoulders haven't dropped
yet. When does that happen?

Twenty-nine in the city,
32 in the smaller towns.

Right. Good.

[phone rings]

Hello.

-What? When?
-Go, go, go.

All right, I'm coming.

-I'm coming. See ya, mate.
-Good luck.

[door slams]

Did they give a reason at all?

[stammers] You can say.

Like if they felt that
Jason didn't sell himself

or that he looked too stern in the photo.

-All me then, yeah?
-No, okay, sorry, no, it--

Yeah, it could be me.

Maybe they thought
I looked too young to be a mum.

Okay.

They chose another couple who already
had a child of a similar age to James.

Okay.

Well, I mean,
that hardly seems very fair, does it,

considering they already have one.

No, that's, uh-- That makes sense.

It's nice that he'll have
a brother or sister to play with, so...

that's the best outcome really, isn't it?

Look, I know you were all in, but this
is not the last chopper out of Saigon.

So what happens next?

Well, when things don't
just fall into place,

we just have to jiggle the key
in the lock a little bit. Yeah?

So, how would you like to meet some kids?

Yeah? Yeah, great.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bring it on.

Yeah, no,
I think we'd really pop in person.

-Tomorrow.
-Tomorrow?

"Adoption Activity Day." Huh.

Every six months or so, we get
all the kids we haven't found homes for

and all the people looking for kids and
smoosh them together in a big party

-and see what happens.
-Oh.

It's a worrying indictment
of a broken system,

but there is cake, so we plod on.

How many kids are we talking here?

Uh, 25 or so. Budget for a migraine.
[chuckles]

Actually,
I have the same approach to dating.

Group them all together
like a flat viewing.

Saves time, 'cause men my age
are rapidly losing their looks.

Luckily, I'm only gradually losing mine,
so it's advantage Penny. [chuckles]

Okay, so basically
we have two hours to bond with a child

and get them to like us...

-in fancy dress. Wow.
-Oh.

Oh, yeah. The theme is, uh,
"What I want to be when I grow up."

-[chuckles]
-Oh.

-So think on, you know?
-Okay.

No. Don't worry, please. It's just a bit
of football in a park with some kids.

Football?
Just a bit of football in the p--

-That's good. Yeah, it's fine.
-Yeah.

Yeah, don't race ahead, okay,
and overinvest emotionally.

Oh, God, no.
We've not been doing that. Have we?

-No. God, no. No, no, no.
-No.

[no audible dialogue]

Sometimes you just miss someone in time.

I know.

It's a bit like breaking up with someone.

You've just got to, you know,
you've got to move on.

Yeah, no, I don't really do that.

I'm still friends with
everyone I've ever slept with, so...

-Okay, that's unsettling.
-[grunts]

[sighs]
What are we gonna do about costumes?

Oh, yeah. Well, what did you wanna be
when you're older?

I wanted to be working
on the phones in a car rental firm. So...

-There you go.
-Absolutely nailed that.

-Boom.
-Thank you very much. What about you?

-My dad's friend Michael.
-Oh, yeah?

Yeah. He was so fun when I was a kid.

But then I got older and I realized
that he was, uh, just an alcoholic. Yeah.

[chuckles] Okay.

Yeah, he's-- he's-- he's dead now.
Bless him.

Drunk himself to death, he did.

Are we okay?

Yeah.

The kids are gonna like us, aren't they?

Yes.

[stammers]

Penny's right.
We just-- We shouldn't overthink it.

-Yeah.
-We're going to kick a football around

with some kids.

-Yeah.
-Mm-hmm.

[grunts]

-[sighs]
-[thumping]

[thumping, loud thud]

-[glass clattering]
-Oh, sh*t.

Okay, we've got 20 minutes,
so we just need to be in and out.

Yeah, no bother. I know what I want.

-Here, what about this?
-No.

Nothing here is appropriate.

Is there any animal they can't sexify?

Armadillo? That's the one we can't crack.

[stammers] Excuse me. Hiya.

Um, do you have any costumes for women
that are more positive role models?

We got role-play, up there on the left.

No. Um, I mean, um,

the theme is
what you wanna be when you grow up.

So something like businessperson
or doctor, lawyer.

Yeah, that-- that sort of thing.

We got a judge.

Uh, yes. Perfect. [chuckles, sighs]

This is so bad.

Yeah.

Uh, no, I'm sorry.
I-- I can't go dressed like this.

Look, you-- [stammers]

No, all right. Okay.
What about-- What about a princess?

Princesses are very successful.

Have you seen a real-life princess, Jase?
They're miserable.

Not all girls wanna be princesses.

The last thing
I'd want for a daughter is a princess.

Is there anything in this shop
that is not demeaning to women?

-[muffled] I'm a bit nervous.
-What's that?

[breathes heavily]
I said I'm a bit nervous.

-Oh, yeah. I know.
-And hot.

-Imagine being inside this in Kenya.
-[stammers]

Oh, I was thinking, uh,

I might show them some of
my martial arts moves to impress 'em.

-From when you were a teenager?
-Yeah. What do you reckon?

Show me.

-Okay. Just hold that a second.
-I'll have the hat.

So, you would be...

Are you making this up?

No, it's--
I've forgotten quite a lot of it.

But that-- that's--
that's potentially good,

because if I don't know what's next,
then neither do my opponents.

-Yeah.
-So...

-I'd leave it. Hmm.
-[stammers]

-Can I have my hat?
-Yeah, your hat.

[Jason, indistinct]

[chattering]

[Jason] See, I knew we'd be
the only ones in fancy dress.

-Good.
-Yeah, but--

-We'll be memorable.
-Yeah.

-We should probably go speak to a kid.
-Yeah.

Oh, look, he's on his own.

Oh, yeah. All right, quick,
before someone else gets to him.

[boy babbling]

Hello.

-Hello, mate. You all right?
-Hi.

-Hi.
-I'm Nikki. This is Jason.

Hiya.

-What's your name?
-Ethan.

-Hi, Ethan. Who's this?
-He's my friend.

-Aw.
-[chuckles]

Do you know why we're here?

We're here to play with you
and for you to see if you like us.

-[Jason] Mm.
-Why?

Well, so that you can maybe come back
to our house and live with us.

No. [cries]

Oh, no. It's all right, mate.
Not straightaway.

-No, no, no.
-[man] Ethan?

It's okay. No, we-- we didn't do anything.

[murmuring]

♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy Birthday... ♪

-Oh, sh*t.
-Okay.

-[Ethan] I don't want to go.
-We should-- Sorry. Sorry about that.

-[Nikki] Sorry, sorry.
-Yeah, sorry about that.

-You said this was the right place.
-Yes, I thought it was.

-Cumberland Gate.
-No, this is Cumberland Green.

Well, we must be close.

No, no. No, Cumberland Gate
is in Hyde Park, Nikki.

-This is-- This is Regent's Park.
-Oh, sh*t.

-Okay. Uh, can you run in that?
-Yes.

All right, come on. Let's go.

Oh, bus. Jase.

[yells, panting]

[Nikki] Thank you. Thank you.

-[stammers, pants]
-It's fine. Look.

-We're gonna make it, all right? Just.
-Okay.

-It's all right. It's all right.
-Oh, God.

We'll get there.

[speaks French]

Uh, bonjour. Marble Arch.

Which Marble Arch, mate? Tube or not tube?

[both speaking French]

Do you want Marble Arch tube?

[speaks French]

Tube? Station?

-Oh, come on. Bloody hell.
-Oh, my God.

[with accent] No, Marble Arch. The--
The bâtiment with the marble inside.

-[speaks French]
-Okay, fine.

-Hiya.
-Hello, where are you trying to get to?

-Uh, Marble Arch.
-Marble Arch.

Marble Arch? Why would you wanna go see
Marble-- Marble Arch is sh*t. It's tiny.

Everyone knows that. Where you from?

Uh, Paris.

Paris? You've come from Paris
to see Marble Arch? Are you insane?

Just stand further away from
the Arc de Triomphe. That's Marble Arch.

[speaks French] Marble Arch.

-Oh, my God.
-Come on. Let's go.

[man, with accent] Marble Arch.

Cumberland Gate, okay.

-Uh...
-Which way?

-Over here.
-Yeah?

[cheering]

-Why are they clapping us?
-They think we're on a bloody fun run.

[cheering continues]

-Hello, mate. Hiya.
-Hey. Hi.

Can you get us
to the other side of the park, please?

No, mate. Look, don't give up.
You're nearly there.

-Go on. You can make it.
-We're not part of the fun run.

Look, I can't help people cheat.
It wouldn't be fair on all the others.

-Yeah, but we're not part of--
-No, no, no.

-I'm not helping cheats. No way.
-Come on.

-Sorry.
-[Nikki] Sorry.

-Sorry. Sorry.
-Cheers, mate.

[panting]

-[Nikki] Hello.
-[Denise] Hi. Where were you?

-Are there any children left?
-What?

-Children.
-I don't think so.

[sighs]

Well-- [sighs] It's okay.

Ooh, we met the most amazing little girl.

We spent all afternoon together.
I think she really liked us. And...

-[Jason] Nikki.
-She was... really lovely.

Nikki. [pants]

Sorry. She-- [sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[bell tolling]

There you are.
You got me worried there for a minute.

-Should we go back to the bus?
-I need to get my bag.

Oh. Come on then. Let's go get it.

-Okay. Let me take your badge.
-Okay.

I'll be right back. I won't be a sec.

Some of them just aren't ready.

-All right, sweetie. Come on. Let's go.
-Okay.

[continues, indistinct]

-[sniffles]
-Hey.

-[cries]
-What are you crying for?

Hmm?

Because when it's the one...

...you cry.

Oh.

[woman singing]

[singing continues]

Happy?

Yeah.

Then why have you got your head
in your hands?

Huh?

Shut up.

[chuckles]