01x01 - Johnny Bravo / Jungleboy in Mr. Monkeyman / Johnny Bravo and the Amazon Women

[bunniefuu]

Baby!

Sassy!

Studly.

Check the pecs. Hee! Ha! Huh!

Man, I'm pretty.

Do the monkey with me!

Come on!

Hey there, baby.

Oh! Uh!

Yeah, whatever.

NARRATOR:

The Aron city zoo...

not necessarily

the most happening spot in town.

It's a rather peaceful haven

for those who want to relax,

take a stroll,

or pick up chicks.

Excuse me, mister.

Excuse me, mister.

Not now, kid.

I'm busy.

Excuse me, mister.

Now, look here, missy.

I hope you don't take

this the wrong way or anything,

but there's just too big of a generation

gap between the two of us.

But all I want to know

is what time it is.

There, there,

princess.

I don't mean to

break your heart,

but then again,

I'm a heartbreaker.

How about a kiss

there, missy?

Well, now that we

know each other a little better...

Eat this!

Ooh! Oh! Ooh! Oh!

Baby!

Oh, mama!

I have to get going

now, sir.

Women.

Uhh!

Hey! What are you

looking at?

I've eaten chiliburgers

bigger than you.

[woman screams]

What the...

[woman panting]

Oh, man!

I dig it when chicks run.

[woman panting]

Say, baby,

how's about you and I--

Out of my way,

mister!

Get off of me,

you son of a handbag!

That ought to teach you

a lesson in manners.

Huh!

Now, that's

my kind of woman!

Say, what's the matter,

little mama?

Our prize gorilla

has escaped from its cage.

Really?

Really.

Enough about you.

Let's talk about me, Johnny Bravo.

What do you think?

Aren't I having a good hair day?

Ha! Be brutal, mama.

Excuse me?

Why don't we grab ourselves a couple

of thick, juicy steaks?

I know of a place

down the road.

I don't think

you understand.

What? Are you

a vegetarian?

No. There's a 900-pound

gorilla on the loose.

Now hold on, missy.

A gorilla. 900 pounds.

On the loose?

Ma'am, I'd be more than happy to help

you find your gorilla.

You must be joking.

I mean, to capture a gorilla,

I'd need, like, maybe

an army or a superhero.

Superhero?

Yeah.

That would be nice.

Ma'am, today's

your lucky day,

because I just happen

to be a superhero.

You certainly don't look

like a superhero.

Did I mention

my special powers?

Oh, no. You didn't

mention those.

Missy, you're looking

at the only man

to have ever earned

his black belt in every form

of martial art in the world.

What the...

[heavy footsteps]

Did I mention that I'm still studying

sumo wrestling?

Hmm. You know,

come to think of it,

I guess I could use

the help of a superhero.

I knew it!

You know, I have

a sensitive side, too.

♪ I can bring home

the bacon ♪

♪ I can even cook ♪

♪ I'll have

your gorilla back ♪

♪ Faster than you can make ♪

♪ A peanut butter

and banana sandwich ♪

And deep-fry that bad boy.

Hyah!

Uh...Thank you.

♪ Oh, won't you come home,

Bill Bailey ♪

♪ Won't you come home ♪

♪ I cried

the whole night long ♪

[humming]

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

You are the man. Ow!

JOHNNY:

Excuse me, mister.

Have you seen a gorilla hiding

anywhere around here?

A gorilla? Hmm.

Refresh my memory, babe.

What exactly does

a gorilla look like?

Well, they're, uh...

They're, uh...

They're big.

Big?

Yeah. Big. This one's

about 900 pounds.

My goodness.

Yeah.

What else?

Yeah. Uh, they're...

They're big.

And, uh...Big,

and, uh...Ugly!

Yeah. Big and ugly.

Hmm. You know what?

I did see one of those gorilla

things about an hour ago,

but he was certainly not

what I would have called ugly.

Really?

Oh, no, babe.

He was more like

the Mel Gibson of monkeydom.

Yeah, whatever.

Do you know which way

the gorilla went?

Forsooth, nay.

Alas, I looked away as he strayed.

But hey, how about

I help you find this gorilla, babe?

Mister, I don't think you understand

who you're talking to.

I am Johnny Bravo,

the one-man army.

Huh! Huh! Huh! Huh! Huh!

So you just stay out of the way and

leave the superheroing to me.

No problemo.

Did you see a gorilla

run by here?

No.

Did you see a gorilla

run by here?

No.

Did you see a gorilla

run by here?

No.

Did you see a...

Gorilla?

So I was wondering,

you wouldn't happen to be

hiding any gorillas

underneath them clothes,

would you?

Ha! Huh! Huh!

She wants me.

[gorilla humming]

Stick 'em up!

What are you going

to do, arrest me?

Will you be quiet

and get in the alley?

Aren't we a bit

on the grouchy side?

Give me your wallet,

you fat cow!

What did you call me?

Put down that g*n.

What the...Ah!

Fat cow, am I?

Didn't your mother

teach you any manners,

Mr. Love handles?

You are a p-i-g, pig!

Swine is what you are.

Hey! Take it easy

there, kid.

Your mama's so big

that when she wore high heels,

she struck oil.

Big?

Your face is so ugly,

you could make an onion cry.

Ugly?

You are so fat--

Now hold on, kid.

That there wouldn't

happen to be the gorilla?

Hmm. Could be.

Sure is ugly enough

to be in a zoo.

WOMAN:

Well! So there you are.

Can I have my gorilla now?

Why, yes, ma'am.

I've got him

right...Here?

Say!

Don't I get any kind

of reward for this--

A kiss, a date,

a hearty handshake?

Reward?

I would go out with you,

but it looks as though you've

already got a date.

This is cute and all,

but I have a wife.

What are you looking at?

NARRATOR:

Deep in the darkest

jungles of Africa...

No, deeper...

Deeper...

Still deeper.

Now, darker...

Darker...

Well, maybe not that dark.

[monkeys shouting at once]

It is here that one man reigns

over all he surveys.

One man...

Uh, boy.

Jungleboy!

Well, that was fun.

ANIMAL:

Oh! Help!

Somebody help!

The dam is broken!

The dam is broken!

Oh! Jungleboy!

I'm so glad you're here.

Now, you just hold there

for a while.

Bye-bye.

I think I'm beginning

to wrinkle.

Well, it looks like the day

has been saved again,

thanks to Jungleboy.

It seems as though Jungleboy

has single-handedly captured

the hearts of millions

here in the jungle.

He is just too darn cute!

Yeah. He's what all

my kids talk about--

Jungleboy this,

Jungleboy that.

He dammed up the river

using my butt.

We'll have more Jungleboy

after these messages.

Yeah. Yeah.

Salon perm?

No. Jungleboy!

Jungleboy home perm.

I was in an accident.

Jungleboy got me

$6.5 million.

TV ANNOUNCER:

See Brooke Shields

and Jungleboy

in Escape to the Blue Lagoon.

Hey! That was

supposed to be my part!

Where's Rupert? Rupert!

Yeees?

Who is this Jungleboy,

and why am I not starring

opposite Brooke Shields

in a movie?

Because, your highness,

he's the man.

Hello!

Everybody's supposed to

love me, not Jungleboy.

Where are my royal subjects?

My subjects still love me.

My subjects!

[laughter]

Royal subjects.

So then he offered

to pick all the bugs out of my fur,

and naturally

I was flattered.

Hello, girls.

GIRLS:

Hello, King Raymond.

Ooh!

What kind of animals are you?

What's wrong?

Look, girls! Aah!

It's Jungleboy!

But...Ooh!

Hello, girls.

[girls screaming

and talking at once]

Thank you.

I have to get going now.

Thank you.

- Ahh!

- Ooh!

Don't you girls know?

He's a human.

He's going to grow up

someday and k*ll us all.

As if!

Come on, girls.

But...Ooh!

Something needs to be done

about that Jungleboy.

I need to expose him

for the evil creature he is,

and I know just how to do it.

[Raymond laughing]

Let's see now.

Peachy skin...

Wig...

Loincloth...

No one will ever know!

Now it's time for

Operation Hate Jungleboy.

ALL:

Oh, look!

It's Jungleboy!

Oh, blow it out your ear.

[gasping]

Did you guys hear what

Jungleboy just said?

[snickering]

Reports have been coming in

from all over the jungle

that Jungleboy has turned

into a stark-raving lunatic.

I looked outside,

and there he was,

just dancing around

in the underwear

I'd just put out

on the clothesline.

I'm just thankful

they were clean.

While some couldn't believe

what they saw,

most mammals

were just plain stunned.

I'm just plain stunned.

Jungleboy sawed

my horn off.

He dammed up the river

using my butt.

MARY ANTELOPE:

We'll have more

reports as this story breaks.

Back to you, Nawanda.

Let's see who's got it

going on now, Mr. Jungleboy.

[laughing]

[animals talking at once]

Hello, animal folk.

Look, guys.

It's Jungleboy again.

How dare he show

his face in public?

Now, just ignore him,

and he'll go away.

[whistling]

Whatcha doin'?

Oh! I can't look

at him.

We can't stay mad

at Jungleboy.

He's just a kid.

He didn't know

what he was doing.

[animals talking at once]

ALL:

We're sorry,

Jungleboy.

Can we worship and idolize you

like we did before?

RAYMOND:

Stop!

What's going on here?

[gasping]

Don't you know

Jungleboy's evil?

He doesn't even recycle,

for crying out loud.

You said it yourselves.

Oh.

Hey! There's

two of them!

ANIMAL:

But which one's

the real Jungleboy?

Oh, I'm the real

Jungleboy. Yeah.

He's an impostor.

He was out there

trying to taint my name.

You've gotta

believe me.

Look how cute I am.

Hey! My name's

Jungleboy, too.

Oh, yeah? Well,

let's have a contest.

I bet I can hold

a note longer than you can.

♪ Da ♪

There. I told you

I'm Jungleboy.

Hey! Jungleboy

never wore a wig.

Yeah. And he never

sang no opera, either.

ANIMAL:

Hey, look!

SECOND ANIMAL:

That's not Jungleboy.

That's Raymond.

ALL:

Raymond?

Nobody move,

or the kid gets it.

Ooh! Ah!

Mr. Monkey, I'm appalled

at your behavior.

Hey, everybody!

What do you say we

tar and feather Raymond?

Aah!

Get him!

Get him!

RAYMOND:

Aah!

So once again, Jungleboy

is the man of the hour.

Jungleboy, you've had

quite an exciting day.

How do you feel?

Uh...Wet.

Ha ha ha!

Wet?

Can you change

my diaper?

Uh...Nawanda?

ANNOUNCER:

Hello Johnny.

It's activity time!

There's a rhino hiding some

where in this room

can you find him before

the kids at home do?

Hey, no problem.

Excuse me.

ANNOUNCER:

Times up.

Ha ha, I'm right here

you big dumb jerk.

Hey buddy you see any rhinos

around here?

CROWD:

Oh, oh, oh!

MAN:

Thar she blows!

Now, that was a beauty.

NARRATOR:

Whale watching.

Studies indicate that whale watching is

one of the best ways

for man to get in touch

with himself,

to get in touch with nature,

and to get in touch with chicks.

Hey there, little lady.

Do you mind?

You're in my way.

Yeah, I know.

Say...

[sniffs]

You smell kind of pretty.

Want to smell me?

Hey, pepper spray.

Don't they use that for--

Oh! Ah! Oh! Ha! Oh!

She's in denial.

[horn blowing]

Aah! Aah!

Ah! Ooh! Hey! Ah! Whoa!

Ooh! Hey! Ah!

Ooh! Hey! Ah! Whoa! Uh!

Oh!

Oh, mama!

[woman singing]

Hmm. That voice.

Where is that voice

coming from?

♪ La la la la la ♪

♪ La la la la la ♪

♪ La la la la la ♪

♪ La la la ♪

♪ La la la la

la la la la la ♪

Oh, man.

Sassy!

Ahem.

You want to see

my chest hair?

It's blond

and curly.

Wow! She sure is

a whole lot of woman.

What's your hurry,

missy?

By the way,

I didn't catch your name.

Get out of my way.

- Is it Trixie?

- Move!

- Bambi?

- I said move!

- Candy?

- Do you hear me?

You know what? I bet your name's

Mickey 'cause you're so fine.

You're so fine--

My name is of no importance

to you, midget boy.

I am an Amazon;

thus, I am a warrior.

You have no right

being on this island,

so be off,

or feel my wrath.

Did you say

you're a warrior?

Yes, I did.

Want to mud wrestle?

Why am I wasting

my time with you?

[Tarzan yell]

Oh! Now, that's

a mating call!

[stomping]

Hello.

Christopher.

Christopher?

Yes, Melissa?

See this?

Make sure this

doesn't follow me

back to the village

of beautiful women.

Village

of beautiful women?

CHRISTOPHER:

Yes, ma'am.

I don't even want him anywhere near

the village of beautiful women.

Village

of beautiful women?

Yes, ma'am.

Huh! Did she say village

of beautiful women?

Maybe.

As in more than one

beautiful woman?

I don't know.

What do you mean?

What do you mean?

Mister, this is getting

really old really fast. Huh!

I've already wasted enough

time, so if you don't mind,

I've got me some

mountains to climb.

Oh!

Where do you think

you're going?

Am I going to

have to fight you?

Oh!

Oh! Nice briefs.

[Christopher humming]

Wait a minute.

What are you doing?

Don't hate me

because I am beautiful.

Take those tightie-whities

off now, you hear me?

Oh, all right.

Here, crybaby.

[Christopher laughing]

You're going to pay

for all this.

Oh! Ooh! Ah!

Ooh! Ah! Oh!

Mr. Man,

don't get me angry.

You wouldn't like me

when I am angry.

Now it's personal.

Oh. Scaredy you.

Mister, it seems

to me that...Huh?

Say, isn't that Don Knotts right

there behind you?

Don Knotts? Don Knotts?

Don Knotts?

Hey! I hate it when people

use Don Knotts to deceive me.

Welcome to the village

of beautiful women.

[growls]

Hubba! Hubba!

Oh, man!

You chicks are pretty!

Come on! Do the monkey

with me! Come on!

[Tarzan yell]

[Tarzan yell]

So you're one of them

screamer types, too, huh?

Wait a second.

Hello.

MELISSA:

Christopher!

What's going on

out here?

JOHNNY:

If you don't

get off of me...

Did you let that imbecile follow you

back to the village?

CHRISTOPHER:

Well, kind of.

Hmm. We're going to

have to take care of him

now that he's found

the island.

I could be

the town masseuse.

Looks like we're going to have to do

the virgin sacrifice.

I took one of them

massage courses in the mail.

BOTH:

Guards!

Now, ladies,

there's no point in fighting.

I've got enough

rubbing oil for everybody.

Don't I get

a last request?

You'll get nothing

and like it.

Tell it like it is,

sister!

Oh, great Athena,

we give you this virgin

as a sacrifice

to your beauty and womanhood.

Did she say virgin?

And I ask that you bless

our plentiful land

with great fortune and mirth.

Excuse me, ma'am, but--oh!

We offer this heathen

in your name.

Oh!

Yeah, whatever.

Huuuh!

CHRISTOPHER:

I got

a bad feeling about this.

[women screaming]

Aah!

Well, that was fun.

Oooooh!

Hi there.

Welcome to the island

of beautiful men.

I can already tell you're going to feel

right at home here.

Son, you look like

you could use a refresher.

We were all

about to take a swim.

I've got an extra swimsuit

if you'd care to join us.