02x10 - Family Secrets

[bunniefuu]

[rock music playing]

-Amy!
-Oh, God!

Hartley! I told you
not to sneak up on me like that.

If my sonic scream slips out,
you'll be going to fifth period

without a face.

Sorry. I'm just so excited!

I was researching my ancestry project
in the library,

and guess what I found out?

Oh, that the art teacher lives
behind the magazine rack?

-[laughs]
-No.

That my great-great-great-great-
grandmother was royalty!

Look!

Well, that explains
why Celia never leaves home

without a w*r hammer.

What about
your villain ancestors?

Any, uh, evil princes
or a distant duchess of death?

Hmm, no idea.

The only villains I know
are on my mom's side.

And most of them
are back in Centropolis

running a crooked
plumbing business.

Which is not much different

from a regular plumbing
business.

Hmm. Well, what about
your dad's side?

His genius
had to come from somewhere.

Mmm. Yeah. According to him,

all of his relatives
plummeted to their demise

trying to escape a bank heist
in a homemade hot air balloon.

So... no, the genius well
did not run too deep.

Hmm. Okay...

But still, don't you want
to know more about 'em?

Well, I do have
lots of questions.

Like, "How dumb can you be
to try and escape a bank heist

in a homemade hot air balloon?"

But my dad doesn't like
to talk about his family.

Right, because that
would take time away

from him talking about himself.

[laughs]

You know, now that
you mention it,

I guess
I am a little bit curious.

Maybe I will ask him again.

Good! You may even find
a few surprises like I did.

Not only
did I come from royalty,

my great-great-great uncle
invented the turtleneck!

[chuckles]

Yeah, I don't think anything

is gonna surprise me
as much as that.

[theme music playing]

[upbeat rock music playing]

So we agree?

Wholeheartedly!

Agree on what?

Oh, your mother
and I were just discussing

which one of you kids we'd send
packin' if we need the space.

Well, you didn't say me,
did you?

[both] No.

Have you even opened that
parenting book I bought you?

Nope, but it was great kindling
for my backyard barrel fire.

Well, speaking of
horrible relatives,

Dad, I wanna know
more about your family.

-My family?
-Yeah, your family.

You've never wanted
to know about 'em before,

why are you asking now?

Because Hartley's finding out
all sorts of cool stuff

about her family, and I realized

I don't know anything
about ours.

-Isn't that weird?
-It's not weirder

than a bunch of supervillains

living in the middle of Texas.

Dad, come on!

Just tell me something.

What was your mom like?

Long hair.

-And your dad?
-Short hair.

Any brothers or sisters?

They had hair, too.

I gotta be honest,

this was not as juicy
as I expected.

Look, Dad, why aren't
you telling me anything?

Look, I just don't want
to talk about it.

-[door thuds]
-Mom, what's going on?

[high-pitched] I don't know
what you're talking about!

Then why is your voice
five octaves higher

than it usually is?

[high-pitched]
I still don't know

what you're talking about!

Look, it's just not my place

to talk about
your father's business.

It's about our family.

I'm pretty sure that's
all of our business.

Amy. Please.

Just let it go.

[sighs]

-Well, that was weird.
-[both chuckle]

It was, right? [laughs]

I can never tell
with your family.

[rock music playing]

Jake, I need your help.

So, you know how
I'm the Chosen One

and I randomly get new powers,
like, all the time?

Of course.
Every time you say it,

I loathe you a little bit more.

Well, I just got one,
but it's not like the others.

It feels weird
and I can't control it.

Oh, Colby, that's not a power.

You see, as we blossom
into manhood--

No, no, no.

Usually, I get the hang
of my new powers right away,

but for some reason,

this one's got
a mind of its own.

Look!

Whoa!

You have levitation?

If that's a fancy word
for floating, then yes.

It just kicks in randomly.

I mean, I'm like an elevator

and someone else
is pushing the buttons.

Ah, ah! Goin' up!

-Goin' up! Goin' up!
-Oh, no, no, no!

If someone sees you,
you're gonna blow our cover.

School's over,
can't you just turn invisible?

I tried, but none of
my other powers are working.

I think I have to get control
of this one first.

Just help me get home.

Now? No, Principal Tennyson

is about to present me with the
"Student of the Month" award.

I've got
a whole speech prepared.

-Wanna hear it?
-What do you think?

Look, I've worked hard
for this award

and you're not
about to ruin it for me.

Just sneak out and call Mom!

Ugh, I'm going!

[gasps] Not going!

And where are you racing
off to, Colby?

Your brother is about to receive
our school's highest honor.

Where's the rest of your family?

Oh, I didn't invite them.

They're kind of a whole thing.

You don't have to tell me.

But I'm here and ready
to accept my award

for "Student of the Month."

All right,
don't get too excited.

It's only good for 30 days.

After that, you're back
to slumming it

with the rest of
the mouth-breathers.

You know, I'd love
to stick around,

but I have tons of homework.

And that calculus assignment
is not going to calc itself.

Oh, no, you are
not going anywhere.

Since the rest of
your family didn't show up,

you're gonna stay
and support your brother.

He's gonna get
a great big fancy pin.

[chuckles] Aren't you excited?

Uh, yep, yep.

Walkin' on air!

[rock music playing]

Hey, Amy, whatcha up to?

I am searching
the villain database

for more info on my dad's
mysterious family.

The villain database?

Yeah. It's like
a Wiki for supervillains.

It lists all of
our origin stories,

powers, birthdays,
and favorite hobbies.

Wow, who knew Giganta

was into couples figure skating?

Yeah, she gets dropped a lot.

Once I look up
my dad's origin story,

it should tell me everything
he isn't telling me

about his family.

-[chuckles]
-[keyboard clacking]

[clacking stops]

Huh. That's weird.

According to this,
he doesn't have an origin story.

It just says "See Surge."

Well, she does wear the pants
in the relationship.

Hold up. It says he doesn't
have an origin story

because he didn't
become a villain

until after he married my mom.

If my dad wasn't born
a supervillain, then...

who was he?

[rock music playing]

[rock music plays]

I don't get it, how can there be
no information

about my dad
before he married my mom?

-It's like he didn't even exist.
-Yeah.

Some people like
to fly under the radar.

My grandma spent all of 2020

scrubbing her identity
from the Internet.

When I asked her why,
she just stared at me

and said, "Celia who?"

[Eva humming, then stops]

Oh. Yay. You're here.

Oh, well, there goes
my "me" time.

Hey, Mom, I've been
digging into Dad's past,

and everything I've found
says that his life

didn't even start
until after he married you.

Well, amen to that!

Wait, you hacked
into the villain database?

[clicks tongue] Mom, hacked is
such a strong word.

[laughs] And yes. Yes, I did.

You shouldn't be doing that!

If your father finds out,
he'll flip.

Why? I just wanna know
what the big deal is.

Come on, Mom,
I know you know something.

-Just tell me!
-Amy, please...

let it go.

You're not going
to let it go, are you?

I am not.

[rock music playing]

Couldn't you have won

"Student of the Month"
next month?

Or not at all?
I mean, this family

has enough
to be embarrassed about.

Says the human equivalent
of a birthday balloon.

Almost time for the big award!

I even have an ice sculpture
carved in your likeness.

That's a horse head.

So it is.

That explains
the giant discount.

[scoffs] What are we gonna do?

I can't anchor you
while I'm giving my speech.

One hand's
for waving to the crowd,

the other is for blowing kisses.
I've got it all rehearsed.

Jake, your super-strength

is the only thing
holding me down.

Anything else
might float up with me!

Wait! The ice sculpture!

That should be heavy enough
to anchor you for 24 minutes.

Your speech is 24 minutes?

Well, more like 32
with all the applause breaks.

Just hold on tight!

Cold! Cold! Cold!

Hi-- Nice horsey!

Okay, I think
we're ready to begin.

[snoring]

[yelling] Rise and shine, Edna!

Everyone, please welcome

our "Student of the Month,"
Jake Madden.

Thirty days.

Thank you, Principal Tennyson.

My role model...

my mentor...

my friend.

I have no idea
what he's talking about.

Then what'd you wake me up for?

First off,
I am extremely honored

to accept this award.

Oh... It's so slippery!

How am I supposed to do this
for 24 minutes?

[Colby exclaims]

I'd like to begin
with a question.

-[Colby grunting]
-What is "Student of the Month"?

Hello.

Welcome to the party.

You know, as a boy...

[Colby groaning and exclaiming]

...nothing could prepare me
for this.

[Colby] Uh-oh.

[groaning]

Sorry, the food looked so good
I just had to dive in.

[rock music playing]

What's that?

Oh. A bunch of
my dad's personal stuff

he hid in a footlocker
so we wouldn't touch it.

Then why are you touching it?

It's kinda like
your secret journal.

The more you
tell me not to touch it,

the more I'm gonna touch it.

-You didn't!
-I did.

Please tell me
you didn't read page 55.

No. I was asleep by page three.

Wait, what's on page 55?

[nervous chuckle]
Back to the locker...

How are you gonna
get in there if it's locked?

[metal clangs in distance]

Stupid question.

Amy, wait! I want to find out
what your dad's been hiding too,

but is it really worth
crossing this line?

Yeah, maybe you're right.

I guess I shouldn't go
behind his back.

[exhales]

Too late! We're diggin' in!

-Hartley!
-[Hartley exclaims]

What? You know I come from
a long line of nosey people.

It's just a bunch of old clothes

and a fake ID
with my dad's face on it.

Who's this?

"The Thomas boys...

Jack and Ty."

Wait, it's all starting
to make sense now.

My dad wasn't
in the villain database

because he was
just a regular guy, Jack Thomas.

He only became a villain
after he married my mom.

This other guy Ty
must be his brother.

Well, why would he keep this
a secret from you?

'Cause he's embarrassed.

Which is hard to believe,
considering

he does his hair
like that on purpose.

[rock music playing]

Great job, Colby!

Now my seven-layer dip
has lost layers two and four.

Well, aside from that, I'd say
this was a rousing success.

-Let's go!
-Oh, no!

Clearly, Colby is jealous
because you won a big award,

so he's desperately trying
to get his own attention.

Me? Jealous? Of him?

Principal Tennyson,
that's whack!

Really? Then I guess
you won't mind

getting up
in front of everyone

and saying something nice
about your brother.

I'm sorry, come again?

You heard me.

Now who's whack?

[rock music playing]

Think your dad knows you broke
into his personal stuff yet?

Probably not.

[Vic] Amy!

[snorts] He does now.

Did you break into
my private locker?

Look, I'm sorry, but you dodged
all of my questions,

so it was the only way
I could get answers.

You, you're a good person,

you couldn't try to stop her?

Huh? The girl's
like a windstorm.

All you can do
is brace for impact

and deal with the aftermath.

I have taught her well.

Eva!

Dad, it's okay.
I don't think less of you

because you used to be
a regular person.

Wait. That's what you think?

Look, I know Mom sucked you
into being a villain

because she's a total hottie.

Well, she got that part right.

No, Amy, you don't understand--

I know you thought
I would be mad,

but I am fine with it.

[scoffs] You didn't have
to hide your family from us.

Which is why I used
the old cellphone I found

in your locker
to message your brother Ty.

-You didn't.
-Oh, I did.

And he's coming to Valley View
so we can straighten

this whole thing out.

[chuckles] Classic windstorm.

[pounding on door]

Dad, family makes us who we are.

So let's just stop this nonsense
and let the healing begin.

It's a superhero! They found us!

Let's get out of here! [panting]

Why am I the only one panicking?

Because he's not
just any superhero.

He's my brother.

[rock music playing]

Your brother is Blue Granite?

Heh. I'm sorry,
I just have to t--

Don't touch the hammer.

Wait, so if he's
a superhero, that means...

you were a superhero, too.

[gasps] Which means
you're half-superhero!

Oh, that's going
in my secret journal.

Wait, my head is spinning.
How is this even possible?

You wanted the truth.
Now you have it.

I wasn't a regular guy.

I was a superhero.

I was Silver Flame.

But for the record,
I'm still the hottie

that flipped him
to the dark side.

Hello, Surge.

It's Eva now.

Aw. Good for you.

Anyway.

Long time, bro. How've you been?

Better than I am right now.

-And don't call me "bro."
-Sorry, bro.

-You did it again.
-My bad, bro.

Will someone
please make it stop!

[deeply sighs]

What a day.

I had a meeting with a producer

who wants to make a movie
about my life.

They're thinking Mark Wahlberg.

But I said we should go bigger.

Mark Wahlberg
is pretty big. [chuckles]

Oh. No, I mean
bigger in size. I'm 6'5".

That dude's like 5'8"
on an apple box.

Movie about your life, huh?

Well, you be sure
you include the part

where you didn't stand up
for your older brother

when everyone
kicked him out of the family.

Are you still stuck on that?

[scoffs] This guy.

So sensitive.

Yeah, I'm sensitive.
You took my power away.

Wait, what?

Oh, that's definitely going
in my secret journal.

And, Dad, you have a power.
You're super-smart.

I only told you that
so you wouldn't ask questions.

The truth is,
my genius is all me.

That actually explains a lot.

So you had, like,
a power, power?

Yep. As Silver Flame,
I could conjure fire.

That is, until my flame
was stripped away.

Well, what happened?

Twenty years ago, my brother

and I were battling
some villains,

when I spotted
this beautiful vision--

Aww. Mrs. Madden?

No, a sunset.

While I was distracted,

a young Surge zapped
the heck out of me...

First time I heard
a grown man cry.

Stick around,
it won't be your last.

Anyway, during our next battle,

we got to talking,
and before we knew it,

we were falling in love.

When my parents found out
I'd fallen for a villain,

they gave me an ultimatum--
stop seeing her,

or have my power stripped away.

So I chose Surge
over being a superhero.

Hey, can someone get me
a sparkling water?

This seems like
this is gonna take a while.

I can't imagine
why he chose my mom over you.

That is so sweet,
he gave up everything for you.

Yeah, we've been
over this. Hottie.

C'mon, man, it's been forever.

Aren't you happy to see me?

Not really.

Ouch. That stings. Heh.

Well, why can't we just let
bygones be bygones?

I've missed you, big bro.

Well, if you missed me,
why didn't you defend me

instead of taking
Mom and Dad's side?

It's not that simple.

It should've been that simple.

All the times I had
your back growing up,

it's too bad
you couldn't have mine.

Amy, you shouldn't have
called him here.

I don't want to see him

or any of my superhero
family ever again.

Still waiting on that water.

[rock music playing]

Jake, I don't want
to hold your hand.

Fine, then let go
and we can all watch you

lose a fight
with the power lines.

What is taking so long?

And why
are you two holding hands?

You look like the figurines
on my Bulgarian cuckoo clock.

It's just that, uh, my brother

gets super nervous
speaking in public.

Oh... Well, normally, I'd say

picture everyone
in their underwear,

but not with this group.

Just hurry up and say
nice things about me.

Uh, what can I say
about my brother Jake?

I mean, he is...

He's older and smarter

and he likes cheese.

Ah, you "cheddar" believe it.

-Jake, Jake, Jake!
-Ah! Oh!

Okay, Colby, I think
your time is up!

[Colby exclaiming]

Oh, um, I know
what's going on here.

You two are hiding something.

Principal Tennyson,
I know it looks weird but--

Oh, it's definitely weird!

And I'm gonna tell
everyone about this.

Oh, don't! Please don't!

Why not?

You two put on an amazing show!

Wait, show?

Yeah, clearly, you're
one of those weird brother acts

that use each other's strength
to balance off each other.

Yes. Yes, we are.

-[both] Ta-da!
-[Colby] Whoa!

You two are fantastic!

It's just like Cirque du Soleil!

Only with boring people

instead of
those fun French clowns.

-Bravo!
-[man whooping]

Thank you! Thank you!

[rock music playing]

[Tennyson laughing]

[crowd] Whoo!

[Tennyson] Oh, my God!

You okay, Dad?

No.

I've been trying for 20 minutes,

and I still can't beat
this level on "Candy Spree."

I'm sorry
I messaged your brother.

You were right.
I should've just left it alone.

Eh, it's my fault

for not being honest
from the start.

I just thought
you'd think less of me

if you knew I was a superhero.

Oh, I do.

[chuckles]
But you also sacrificed

everything for Mom, so...

that kinda cancels out
the rest of your atrocities.

Do you ever miss them?

Your family?

All the time.

But I didn't choose
for things to go like this.

They did.

Well, for what it's worth,
I'll always have your back.

And I'll always have yours.

Unless you betray me,
then backs will be stabbed.

Oh, wait, how did you get
into our secret lair?

Got hungry, grabbed a banana,
fridge slid open, here I am.

And here I go.

So, this must be

where you play with
all your little toys.

At least I'm not
over-compensating

with a giant hammer.

And these little toys
can still take you down.

You wouldn't.

Oh, I would.

Heh. Cool gizmo.

You always were the smart one.

Wait, did I just slam myself?

Why are you in Texas?

The barbecue.

This is our home.

This is where I'm happy.

This is where my family's happy.

-[Blue Granite] Oh...
-[hammer clangs]

Aren't I part
of your family, too?

I mean, don't get me wrong,

this place is nice,
but I think we both know

that this'll
never truly be home.

Especially when you're capable
of so much more.

Okay, what are you getting at?

I kept the vessel
that contains your superpower.

Because I knew that one day,
you would want it back.

You have my Silver Flame?

Yep.

And I'll give it to you.

One condition...

come back to being a superhero.

[ominous music playing]

You would not believe
the crazy day we just had.

Hmm. Really? Try me.

Are you two holding hands?

Nobody says anything
when you two do it.

-[Colby screams]
-[Jake] Ah! A superhero!

'Sup, little dudes?

Oh, don't worry,
it's not as bad as you think.

It's worse. He's our uncle.

[both] What?

[exhales]

Still think you had a crazy day?

[rock music playing]

[theme music playing]