01x04 - Elephant Walk/Palm Pet

[bunniefuu]

[Music]

nobody uh

[Music]

i wonder if they make turtles with

softer bags

you ever notice how very big those

things are i bet they've got soft bags

[Music]

[Music]

foreign

[Applause]

[Music]

hey this is cool

hey um

i would like a ride on your elephant

please oh

well no that is i'm afraid not not right

now your princess has never ridden on an

elephant and it would be really good if

she did

right now i bet you see i'm right in the

middle of the hunt

beastly heart jungle drums arrows stuck

to the head that sort of thing i'm sorry

but giving rides to young people just

now can't be done not while the wild

woolly wombat awaits

[Music]

you know i never noticed what a jerky

can be

[Music]

it's time for tea

[Music]

that's it all seven pages collated in

just under four hours

show

i need to ride an elephant

my what oh yes dear an elephant huge

beasts big airs in that long

that nose well when you know when they

have a cold it's truly horrific gobs of

goo buckets i'd say

now

my tables

one seven three oh my correlations swept

away by cruel fate this'll take weeks to

reconstruct and there's no time

i tell you the ministrations

to say nothing of the raising of the

flag every morning the firing of the

ceremonial cannon and it's almost time

for tea

try old quakes does nothing but sit

around all day

[Music]

excuse me

what do you want i need to ride an

elephant do i look like an elephant no

but my father said you can help oh great

spirit

give this child the guidance of your

wisdom

go away from this place no go to

martini's kitchen only she can solve

your problem

and tell her i'll be late for tea and

never save me a pancake blueberry the

wheat give me indigestion but i

the oracle has spoken

okay okay

[Music]

marjorie i the princess lou command you

would you please pass the butter honey

bunch

thank you and that's bachelor if you

don't do what i say the great spirit

will ruin your pancakes i mean it

yes dear

[Music]

oh

look at this mess now i'll have to start

all over ugh are you even listening to

me of course i am you want your tea

i want to ride an elephant

sure you do well it will be ready and

two shakes of alarms dale now you run

along to your friends what friends

[Music]

see i told you there's a whole troop of

them we can each ride one

[Applause]

[Music]

ah

how gross i'm all covered yuck

isn't it great you can't ride those

things they're filthy besides we're too

young not if you put all our ages

together what they need is a good

cleaning an elephant wash we've gotta

ride them

not this cookie help me or the turtle

suffers

please i can make a thing to wash them

no problem

well

maybe if they were clean

lancelot

lancelot come back here right this

instant lance a lot

[Music]

[Music]

coming through

[Music]

[Music]

there you are i thought i'd lost you

oh my fair lancelot just think an

elephant awaits

[Music]

ready ready

the world's first

elephant scrub slash hair salon

[Music]

hold it lancelot behold my elephants

i'm having a royal moment

[Music]

stay

relax relax we're just gonna clean you

up a little

[Music]

oh man you know i have issues about this

take it easy big guy nobody's gonna get

hurt

yes

wow

[Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

wait a minute slow down you stupid

elephant slow down

my heavens

ah just splendid

[Music]

can't an old man get a moment's face

around here without elephants running

through his living room

[Music]

what you did was serious very extremely

serious

you've ruined a new couch my favorite

chair

and a tea cozy

double extremely triple very serious if

there's one thing i know about elephants

they need their mud keeps them quality

take it away and they are monstrous

positively monstrous sorry

[Music]

it was lancelot's fault

[Music]

i don't know about you guys but i've had

enough of riding elephants pretty dumb

idea

yeah

yeah

it was

now i am thinking more along the lines

of a hippo

or or a rhino

how about a giraffe they've got really

really long naps

i could see my entire kingdom

[Music]

never noticed when an elephant's in the

home

no one wants to mention the tension and

the bloom it's wet like mayonnaise on

bread and smells of something very dead

the risk the size of tacky nerves that

make it hard to come to terms an

elephant's in the room an elephant's in

the room he's scowling in the corner

spraying glue

and elephants in the room

i know what's in the room cranky i hope

you will be leaving soon

[Music]

i wonder if they make turtles with

softer bags

you ever notice how very big those

things are i bet they've got soft bags

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

hey this is cool

[Music]

i would like a ride on your elephant

please oh

well no that is i'm afraid not not right

now your princess has never ridden on an

elephant and it would be really good if

she did

right now

but you see i'm right in the middle of

the hunt beastly heart jungle drums

arrows stuck to the head that sort of

thing i'm sorry but giving rides to

young people just now can't be done not

while the wild woolly wombat awaits

[Music]

you know i never noticed what a jerky

can be

[Music]

it's time for tea

that's it all seven pages collated in

just under four hours

show

i need to ride an elephant

my what oh yes dear an elephant huge

beasts big airs in that long

that nose well when you know when they

have a cold it's truly horrific gobs of

goo buckets i'd say

no

my favors

one seven three oh my correlations swept

away by cruel fate this'll take weeks to

reconstruct and there's no time

i tell you the ministrations

to say nothing of the raising of the

flag every morning the firing of the

ceremonial cannon and it's almost time

for tea

try old quakes does nothing but sit

around all day

[Music]

excuse me

what do you want i need to ride an

elephant do i look like an elephant no

but my father said you can help oh great

spirit

give this child the guidance of your

wisdom

go

go away from this place no go to

martini's kitchen only she can solve

your problem

and tell her i'll be late for tea and

never save me a pancake blueberry the

wheat give me indigestion but i

the oracle has spoken

okay okay

[Music]

marjorie i the princess lou command you

would you please pass the butter honey

bunch

thank you and that's bachelor if you

don't do what i say the great spirit

will ruin your pancakes i mean it

yes dear

oh look at this mess now i'll have to

start all over

ugh are you even listening to me of

course i am you want your tea

i want to ride in a vent

sure you do well it will be ready on two

shakes of alarms dale now you run along

to your friends what friends

[Music]

see i told you there's a whole troop of

them we could each ride one

[Music]

ah

how gross i'm all covered yuck

isn't it great you can't ride those

things they're filthy besides we're too

young not if you put all our ages

together what they need is a good

cleaning an elephant wash we've gotta

ride them

not this cookie help me or the turtle

suffers

please i can make a thing to wash them

no problem

well

maybe if they were clean

[Music]

lancelot

lancelot come back here right this

instant lance a lot

[Music]

[Music]

coming through

[Music]

[Music]

there you are i thought i'd lost you

oh my fair lancelot just think an

elephant awaits

[Music]

ready ready

the world's first

elephant scrub slash hair salon

[Music]

hold it lancelot behold my elephants

i'm having a royal moment

[Music]

stay

[Music]

relax relax we're just gonna clean you

up a little

[Music]

oh man you know i have issues about this

take it easy big guy nobody's gonna get

hurt

yes

hello

[Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

wait a minute slow down you stupid

elephant slow down

my heavens

ah just splendid

[Music]

can't an old man get a moment's race

around here without elephants running

through his living room

[Music]

what you did was serious very extremely

serious

you've ruined a new couch my favorite

chair

and the tea cozy

double extremely triple very serious if

there's one thing i know about elephants

they need their mud keeps them quality

take it away and they are monstrous

positively monstrous sorry

[Music]

it was lancelot's fault

[Music]

i don't know about you guys but i've had

enough of riding elephants pretty dumb

idea

yeah yeah

it was

now i am thinking more along the lines

of a hippo

or or a rhino

how about a giraffe they've got really

really long naps

i could see my entire kingdom

[Music]

all right guys time for the exchange

student to teach the locals

the game is tagged and the rules are

simple touch somebody else and he's it

any questions

i the royal princess lou would like to

be it in fact i insist on being it

whatever you say

you're it

run

oh mike what now now you gotta tag

someone

[Applause]

no one will get near me

tough tulip sick girl that's the whole

point this may be fun where you come

from but the prince is tires of this

game one of you peasants may now be it

og doesn't work that way you have to tag

someone

you're it

[Music]

what that's cheating

only royalty is allowed to treat

[Music]

oh

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

done

[Music]

can't catch me can't catch me this is

all very amusing but i've got better

things to do than play with you and your

stupid game come lancelot spoilsport

fine i'll be it then

huh almost time for the philosophical

society meeting well i'll come to your

philosophical society whatever that is

it's private sorry members only

oh i'm sure it is

i got a club too you know exclusive a

total membership of one

hold still lancelot

think

teamwork

oh quick quick quick quick we must find

an audience to applaud our brilliance

let's go find the others

faster lancelot you're moving like a

turtle

lancelot you are useless but this is a

whole lot more fun than tag how about we

try it again

[Applause]

i hereby call to order this meeting of

the philosophical society now then shall

we start by discussing baudelaire's

famous quotation

nature is nothing but the inner voice of

self-interest

enough with the french poets i'd rather

go root for truffles if i wasn't on this

diet yeah um the chair recognizes the

porcupine what about the issue of new

members i mean specifically mike oh oh i

quite like her got spunk great idea in

theory certainly is philosophically

speaking but we've only got four chairs

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

yes

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

this

stinks

everybody's got a buddy on this island

except me

some exchange student i could have

picked france but no

i had to pick a lost island with six

people

i've never been blown off by a goat

before

well you know what

mike maczynski doesn't mope mike

maczynski gets things done mike

maczynski's gonna find a friend

listen i know this is kind of sad i mean

we haven't really met but

okay okay i get the picture

[Music]

hey listen

i'd rather like to get to know you

better maybe we could hang out and talk

trash

[Music]

maybe not

[Music]

your move

[Music]

leave like the rest of them

hey there

you play tic tac toe i say that mike

looks like you made a new friend yeah

they say dog is man's best friend

but i'm starting to wonder oh you have a

new pet how simply marvelous does he

fetch not yet ah well discipline's the

key

no eating a table no sleeping on your

bed and no chewing the furniture thanks

for the tip

great

timmy's got lassie roy's got trigger and

i've got a palm tree

[Music]

oh mike hey dog wanna meet my new pet

[Music]

yeah that's him so uh

what do you think

[Music]

oh

he's a very nice color

me petey my new pet

what new pet

a poem for a pet oh wow that is the

stupidest thing i've ever heard he isn't

stupid he's well behaved clean pretty

potted the greatest pet in the whole

world not impressed does he at least do

tricks

well well he's good at growing and with

a light breeze he can sway well a mud

puddle has more appeal don't listen our

petey she's just jealous because her

pet's always running away

lancelot does not try to escape he loves

me we have lots of fun together lots

yesterday we went to the beach together

and rode the waves

well lancelot did i rode lance a lot

and that's princess lou to your pathetic

little palm tree

[Music]

now you know it isn't polite to place

one's elbow on the table dear

my what a well behaved lunch guest

little petey is we should have you more

often

you know it's really weird at first i

thought it was a joke having a palm tree

for a pet but this morning when i

watered it i think it waved at me you're

nuts jealous

oh yeah like i'd be jealous of a palm

tree it's not even a royal palm

stand back dastardly villain action guy

is here

and the royal personage requests you

play with her maybe later lou i'm

reading a story to petey

blow off action 4 the dark demonique

will not be stopped

mike

hey mike are you done with that story or

what shh

petey's taking a nap he's had a long day

but he's just a scruffy stupid palm tree

he wouldn't know a long day if it came

at him with a chainsaw

[Music]

it's

[Music]

i demand you cease this ridiculousness

at once whoever heard of a palm tree

that could play tag beady doesn't play i

don't play i don't diss my friends

enough

are you listening either that palm goes

or i do petey's the guest of honor at

lunch peter gets cooled and cuddled to

sleep petey gets help playing tag just

cause he's got no legs well i'm sick of

it why should he get all the special

attention huh no one deserves that but

i guess

no one does

[Music]

look what you've done princess you've

ruined petey just as he was learning to

sit

he was a good tree you know a loyal tree

he wouldn't hurt anyone he was too young

to die poor thing he was a tree we could

replant him but the chance of survival

is

117.54 to seven uh approximately i don't

know if i'll get over this not without

years and years of therapy here

it's not pity no

it's not it's a pitiful attempt at

making me feel better but thanks dog

isn't that what friends are for yeah

that and borrowing lunch money

friendship it's the best thing a royal

person could have except servants right

lancelot

right

traitor you know it's weird but i do

feel better

maybe instead of a therapist i'll i'll

just get a turtle

i mean i'd save thousands

and look how well adjusted lou turned

out

ah

green thread it's the best aliens it's

what makes quilting worthwhile you have

got a very warped world view

have you ever noticed when an elephant's

in the room

no one wants to mention the tension of

the bloom it spreads like mayonnaise on

bread and smells of something very dead

the rest the size of peckingdoms that

make it hard to come to town an

elephant's in the room an elephant's in

the room he's scowling in the corner

spraying glue

and elephants in the room

i hope you will be living soon