01x06 - Truth Seekers

[bunniefuu]

Right there.

This was the first sighting.

They are definitely from Hell.

hey must use this dark magic to cross over into our world...

and they seem to be k*lling specifically-targeted

people, but why?

They always attack at random, all over the country.

There's no way to predict where they'll show up next.

Ah well, that's convenient.

Shh!

Remember, we can't be seen.

Pardon my word, sir.

But you're currently being the loudest.

I said shush your d*ck-sucking lips, Moxxie.

Get down!!

Loona! Close it!

Wait! No!

[GIBBERISH]

Moxxie!

I smell... Colors...

Back off, you tuxedo wearing f*ck!

I'd like to see the suits at corporate

call us losers now, that was pretty badass.

Super badass.

sh*t! sh*t, sh*t, sh*t!

You uh...

You okay there?

What're you doing sittin' there?

The boys are in trouble! Open it again!

Blitzo was using a total of zero euphemisms, innuendos, or swears.

That means it was serious, which means I don't open it until-

OPEN THE f*cking PORTAL NOW!

They aren't here...

It smells like they went this way.

Come on, let's find the dumbass twins.

Finally awake, huh, little fella.

Your partner has been a while now.

Look, shitbag, it takes a lot to keep me down, alright?

I took a f*ck ton of tranquilizers in the college I dropped out of.

Also, I've been strapped nipple first to a car battery,

so I- oh, okay.

Tell us, demon scum.

Who do you work for? Satan?

How did you get to our world from the afterlife?

Why are youse k*lling humans?

When did you show up here?

Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there, b*tch.

First of all, we just woke up from a very nasty shock

and I'm still feeling f*ck' woozy, so I'm gonna request

you fetch us some coffee before we get into this.

I mean, everyone gets coffees in shitty

movies with scenes like this, am I right?

I want something iced, b*tch. Mox?

I'll have a Neopolitan cappuccino,
more cappu than cino,

make sure it's got no more than four ounces of milk,

the beans won't have the right texture otherwise,

and make sure they spell my name correctly on the cup

they always put "Foxy" or "Roxy", I hate that.

If you can't handle that, I'll have a Venti traditional Misto.

Please use soy milk with two blond shots Affogato and Ristretto.

I'd also love three vanilla pumps at the very bottom.

Then, add the coffee after, then-

Enough! We aren't getting youse coffee!

Wow, I was getting massive d*uche chills just there, Mox.
Congrats!

If we have to, we are willing to resort to t*rture methods

to get answers out of you nasty hell beasts!

When you say "tortured",

do you mean physical or psychological?

Physical seems counterproductive; we would likely tell you

anything if it meant an end to the pain, and you have no way of knowing what was true.

Or we might like it too much.

And then you got a whole new thing to deal with.

What do you mean by that?

Oh, you're stupid, huh?

I can work with stupid.

Daddy Likey Dummy~!

Good one sir, Daddy likey-

You better stop laughin' at us.

Yeah!

You're the ones at our mercy!

It's hard to resist, I'm really sorry.

I mean, considering your approach thus far,

you've had us tied up here for what, hours?

And you haven’t even had us confirm what exactly we are!

What are you?

I'm a Virgo.

HAH!

Oh, a smart guy eh?

One more quip out of you and we'll shut you up!

Ohh, getting kinky!

WHAT?!?

We ain't playing any of your vile demon kinks!

I mean, that's what it sounds like back there.

You sickos.

PLEASE, don't give them ideas sir.

Why not?

I know the sh*t you're into-

STAAHP!

We are NOT getting kinky wit youse!

Calm down, One!

Don't let these monsters get to you!

Hey, aren't we going to get a phone call, b*tch?

Well, that entirely depends:
Who you going to call, hmm?

Your fat mom, thanking her for a fat time!

Nice try, demon!

His fat mom is DEAD!

This where they ended up?

I think so.

f*ck, this looks intense.

How are we gonna get in?

Lift me up to that vent!

Throw me!

Damn, you're pretty agile for an old lady.

I'm, like, 5 years older than you!

Stop insultin' my mother, she's dead!

Hey, hey, let's just leave them here until they feel like talking.

Don't worry Mox, if we keep being obnoxious,

they'll eventually slip up and we'll get a chance to get out.

Let's just keep f*cking with them until they get

so frustrated they stop thinking clearly.

It usually works.

Hmm, so the demons wanna play games, huh?

Well, we can play games!

Yeah.

I'm just worried about Millie;
she'll be on her way by now, I'm sure.

Ugh, she'll be fine, Moxxie.

It would take a roided-up hippo to take down

that woman when she's upset.

We've never dealt with the human government before!

She's in danger!

Do you ever honestly shut up about Millie?

It's always "oh, how's Millie?", "I can't tonight, I'm hanging with Millie."

"I'm so worried about Millie."

And she's always five f*cking feet away from you, it's pathetic!

That was oddly personal.

You know what, you're right.

I don't know why the f*ck I let my guts spill like that.

Sir! They're filling this room with something!

f*ck! The hell is this?

I think it's some kind of airborne truth telling serum.

Oh you just guess that's what it is?

Well, uh, just ask me something specific I wouldn't normally tell you.

Okay uh, does Millie ever peg you?

Sometimes.

Wait, ew, f*ck! Why that?

Heh, I knew it.

Well your suit is tacky!

f*ck, I'm sorry.

How f*ck' dare you!

You have shitty taste in music!

I'm sorry!

sh*t taste?

You said you liked that musical I recommended to you!

I lied, I left half way through!

You- you said you loved it!

It was awful Moxxie, it was about ugly, horny cats!

Oh, God, Moxxie, I've said so many lies to you!

This is gonna be a good night!

Dammit, Moxxie, this is all your fault!

How is this my fault?

Blitz?

I can't see you!

God, this smells awful!

What's that music?

Is that you?

Is this a prank?

'Cause I swear to Sata-...

It is no prank, b*tch!

Hey!

Why do you sound like that?

Because you, my precious little b*tch boyyy...

Stop it, sir!

Are tripping ballls!

♪ No, what? How could this be? ♪

♪ I've never tried acid, shrooms, or DMT! ♪

♪ It's a bad trip! Oy Gevault! ♪

♪ Of course, Blitzo, this would be your fault! ♪

♪ My lungs are full of honesty,
would you promise me that you won't judge? ♪

♪ Yes, b*tch! ♪

♪ Not trying to divulge too much,
but I'm in too deep so first of all: f*ck YOU! ♪

♪ What? ♪

♪ This is all just typical well two can play at this game of dismay ♪

♪ cause if you're here causing frustration,
I'm torturing you in your hallucination! ♪

I simply follow your orders,

it isn't my fault if your orders are as nonsensical

as a sun tanning bed left out on the cold

rainy porch of a fresh April shower.

Why are you talking like that?

What the f*ck does that even mean?

I am simply speaking Satan's plain English

perhaps you should crack open a dictionary some time?

And then maybe you can understand half of the frivolous

things I carry on and on about on my many rants about

Shut up!

♪ Why do you hurt me so? ♪

♪ I know! ♪

♪ Why must you push your friends away? ♪

♪ I push my friends away ♪

♪ Why does it seem like a recurring theme
that you alienate with your toxic routine? ♪

♪ I don't know eventually everyone goes! ♪

♪ Cause you're thoughtless,
and cruel and you'll end up alone! ♪

In fact, my dear boss, you don't know

what you are doing half the time, and you depend on me

and the Misses to manage your foolish flights of fancy.

I don't need you, I can do this sh*t on my own so easily!

But you don't want to do things alone, Blitzo?

You tried the solo act, it didn't work out so well.

Yet you still shove away anyone who gets too close,

until they resent you for being a selfish shitty sh*t f*ck.

Are you afraid to love people, Blitzy?

I believe your subconscious is trying to tell you that you

simply cannot fathom proper intimacy but also crave it as well.

It's rather unfortunate, sir.

Considering it's often how you treat those who stand by you such as myself-.

-Are you worried, I may have enough of it one day as well?

Stop f*cking talking, all of you!

You are going to die alone.
[ECHOING]

♪ Why, Moxxie, why have you held
your true feelings inside? ♪

♪ I am scared of rejection. ♪

♪ Why, Moxxie, why do you have
Millie put it in your butt? ♪

♪ It gives me an erectio- ♪
Hey!

♪ No need to hide, we accept your
true feelings, so promise me - ♪

♪ That I can do. ♪

♪ To be true. ♪

♪ The world is your an*s, so
peg it with honesty. ♪

Oh.

♪ I've been a jackass,
it's true. ♪

♪ You’ve been a jackass,
it's true. ♪

♪ But soon as we're
back as ourselves. ♪

♪ I will be a better friend
than I was before. ♪

♪ Be better at speaking
my mind~ And... ♪

♪ Together we can
begin to become...fine. ♪

Try 1.

Do you remember what you said to me

after my first day with the company?

Not really.

I remember.

You told me I did a good job and that you were proud

to work with me.

I feel like you wanted to say something

more judgmental, but you
said that because I needed it.

And it helped.

Look, I'm hard on you, because

I know what you're capable of, Mox.

You care too much about what

everyone thinks except for me because,

you know, my opinion is correct,

but just keep doing a good job, 'kay?

You sh**t and k*ll good, you escape things easy,

you can be strategic and cold-blooded when you need to,

and don’t expect any more compliments, I'm maxed out.

Thank you, sir.

You know my name, use it.

Thanks, Blitz.

There's my Millie!

Impressive work, Mills!

How did you get here all by yourself?

Loony!?

Get your asses out here before more f*ck show up!

Okay, I've had one too many emotions for today.

Guys, let's f*ck these f*ck UP!

Mox, cover me!

Yes, sir!

Eat my a*s!

Die, m*therf*ckers!

What?

I am just so damn proud of you, Loonie!

Bye sweetie!

Watch out!

Hey Mills!

Hey Blitz! Just one sec!

Do you need a g*n or anything?

Nah, I'm good!

How about some water?

Sure!

Thanks, Blitz!

No problemy, Millie-Billie.

Now who wants some quality time with Daddy?

Fore!

Why, God, WHY are we only using weapons

from Japan's Edo period!?

Hey!

The Edo period was badass and you know it!

Dammit, you're right.

Look out!

b*tches!!!

Hey Moxxie?

Oh wow, really going for the d*ck there, ain't'cha?

Here, I got it for ya. Now hold this.

Oh yeah, I'm gettin' HARD
holding this m*therf*cker!

Oh crumbs, is everyone okay?

Wooooooo!

How's that for demon scum?

Oh sh*t, c'mon fam, lets blow this c*ck-sicle joint!

Quick! The book!

sh*t! I can't - I can't read the spell in this light.

I can't see d*ck!

Well, sh*t.

Looks like we've milked this weapon d*ck dry

and now we're out of badassery.

Ha!

You demons aren’t goin' anywhere now.

AH!

Who DARES threaten my impish little plaything?

Who said that?

Agent Two?

What's the matter, demon hunter?

Never seen a REAL demon before?

Stolas?

Wha- hold on

How did you know that we needed help?

I have my ways, darling.

Are you alright?

Ugh, I'm fine, Stolas.

Mm. Good.

How the f*ck did you get caught by humans?

Are you little creatures not being careful up here?

You know, if you get in trouble

I get in trouble.

We don't want that!

They caught us off guard, your highness.

Yeah, you can unclench your bird-puss, Stolas.

It’s not gonna happen again, okay?

Luckily for you, most don't believe

the words of the demon-obsessed lunatics.

They are seen as kooks!

Kooks! Such a silly word!

Now! Let us all return!

Yes please.

I'd like to get back to the correct hellhole as soon as possible.

Am I going to get any thank you for the rescue, Blitzy?

Well, I suppose you should.

Want me to f*ck your brains out tonight?

Very much so.

Alright, but you're keeping quiet or I'm using those bear traps.

[MOANS]

Oh, please do~

So what now?

What now?

We finally got the evidence we needed to be taken seriously!

Nobody in corporate is ignoring this.