02x11 - A Freudian Split/Fitness Fever

[bunniefuu]

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nobody is

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and so it is resolved we all agree with

mr nietzsche one must separate with

anything that forces one to repeat no

again and again we're here time for

lunch peanut butter and jelly

no

oh there's plenty no

i'll really have some no

i cannot eat that sandwich the jelly is

on the top everyone knows the jelly must

be on the bottom it's the very

foundation of the sandwich uh i beg to

differ with you

the foundation

is peanut butter ergo it comes first i

eat

peanut butter and jelly it's the jelly

it's always been the jelly as any

civilized person can tell you peanut

butter is the source of all energy and

it has the unique ability to stick to

the roof of one's mouth

the sweetest most succulent of the two

substances clearly comes fast surely my

learned friend who are not trying to

tell me that peanut butter is better

than jelly oh absolutely hip hip quite

so pig this has squat to do with better

this is about the very foundation of the

philosophical world about stepping out

of the morass of petite bourgeois

mentality and into the clarified air of

pure reason this is about peanut butter

chili

peanut butter

peanut butter peanut butter peanut

butter peanut butter

peanut butter

the last time these two got into one of

these little discussions it took three

months to work it out i'm going to

finish my novel

don't

go i move that we adjourn not so fast i

have one order of new business to put

before the group henceforth and forever

this philosophical debating society will

dedicate itself to the principle that

peanut butter is king over this pig's

bacon let it be known from now and

forever that this society is based on

jelly and jelly alone oh

poor scene heresy let's put it to a vote

fine all in favor of peanut butter say i

i those inflatable jelly i

ugg it's up to you

we realize this is a difficult decision

so take your time weigh the sides

carefully and uh if you don't choose me

i'm gonna be very very hurt choose him

and i'll never speak to you again

pig goat pickled pig

hug

you okay yeah fine

whatever

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top-notch dinner dear yeah i even kind

of liked it oh what's wrong ogder don't

you like my pee fat and clam cake

what's the matter son you can tell me

peanut butter or jelly i can't decide oh

you don't have to decide sun you can

have both

now which should i start with peanut

butter or jelly

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everything okay

i've got a problem hey whatever it is

odd boy i'm there for you

pig and goat are not on speaking terms

over the relative merits of peanut

butter versus jelly and if i don't come

up with a way to get them back together

i'm gonna lose one or the other of them

forever odd boy you need serious therapy

that's it what therapy that's the

solution well yeah but with you it might

take some time

look i could recommend a very good

person but she's way over on 31st and

3rd it would be a rough commute no no no

not me

there

them you see golden pig disagree on most

matters but there's one thing they do

agree on sigmund freud was the most

significant influence on psychological

development in the 20th century and if

you'd dress up as freud i'm sure that

this rift could be mended and all will

be well let me get this straight you

want me to wear a fake beard and

mustache and talk to a goat in a pig

no

absolutely not no way

enjoy understand that there are some

problems

why don't you just tell me about them

huh

that's okay

why don't you just tell me about your

childhood

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it's working ugh what does this have to

do with peanut butter

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got any other great ideas

i think a debate is the only answer well

that sounds civilized i'll do the

play-by-play and you do the color

color

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ugh

what is this it's a debating forum looks

more like a uh there's the bell for

round one of this thrilling event look

in order to have a debate between two

people don't you kind of have to have

people these guys are animals og boy you

bet they are and i think pigs got the

upper hoof

oh looks like goat has made his first

big move a socratic wreath toss hard to

the mat

but pig retaliates quickly

a terrific defense maneuver

comes right back at her

foot goat he'd better watch it i've seen

pig turn this kind of setback around in

a hurry you gotta be kidding no no she's

capable of anything

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a platonic pie in the face ladies and

gentlemen great food move classic

goat comes back when i retort right in

kind

ugh you got to get a grip this is not a

debate or anything close to it this is

stupid

hey

who threw that

who'll do that things are getting really

tense now tense i'll show you tense

why you

which one which one of you threw that

piece

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and there's the bell ending round one

who's ahead who can tell in the face of

this fast flying rhetoric peanut butter

or jelly that is the question tonight

now that was uncalled for oh goody a

debate

oh and what sort of unfairness is this

three against one

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i have no fear

the masked marcus aurelius is here

don't force me to get tough for you why

not put the freudian slip on mike

bringing both to their knees

great gapping candy activated

oh my poor alfred i'll take you home

make you chicken super nurse your wounds

right after i clean those clitons kicker

god

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nothing like a good debate to turn up

the fire under our skittles why you've

never been able to string three words

let alone carry on a spirited debate

just toss me back in there and i'll show

you who come what save yourself

make way for a great mind your simpering

fools

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all is in

it's incredible ladies and gentlemen one

unbelievable

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there's just no let up it's a

philosophical think fest a veritable

valley of ideas

wait a minute i think i've got it

got what

the answer it's the bread

the bread

think about it looking ahead on the

timeline of creation it's the sandwich

that we're all headed for right we're

headed for a sandwich oh goody and no

sandwich can exist without bread he's

nice and i am

hungry because you can't think

well i guess it proves one thing that

philosophy is adversity sweet milk now

that schopenhauer can outmuscle

character guard definitely not that

i think we have proved once and for all

that a pie in the face can solve any

debate

now can whoever's got their elbow and my

left kidney ease slightly to the right

please

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cream

i guess sometimes it takes more than a

good pie in the face

okay cream

nope nothing beats a good pie in the

face

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ain't no microphones ain't no slideshow

ain't no

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carry-on on the island

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nobody is

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work work work oh i'm so overworked

never to spare a moment for myself

oh skipper if only there weren't so much

work to do

there

now if only i could learn to relax not

now skipper can't you see i'm stressed

wait a minute oh today's the 13th that

means i've only got one week until i'm

supposed to give the annual state of the

coconuts address to all my fellow

albanquetinians oh joy my favorite

speech

adorned in my favorite ceremonial coat i

have worn this coat every year for the

past 20 speeches oh governor wendell

bunk routine i must say that you are the

man you are definitely dumb and

what

something's wrong with this cat

yeah his skin seems to have

shrunk

the nerve how dare it unless

no

unless i've put on a little

weight

announcer too maybe

oh who am i trying to get i'm fat i'll

never fit into this coat i'm just a big

pouchy belly don't flavor to this

that's it i'm never going to eat another

thing what's up with wendell obey him no

my dear he does this every year when the

ceremonial costume doesn't fit properly

hello

you plump little wombat oh i know i know

oh the coppers are fat and the cows are

pudgy

hey wendell i couldn't help overhearing

your problem

baby i've got the solution i've already

tried making the coat larger then try

making the wendell smaller but how lose

weight you mean i could do that sure

with diet and exercise brilliant oh

that's that's just what i'll do oh i am

so ready this shall be the first day in

the life of the new wendell

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exhausting oh but i feel absolutely fabu

by joe

i think all that exercise has paid off

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give up

life is so unfair i've starved and

exercised and i still haven't lost an

hour uh wendell it's gonna take more

than one jumping jack why you have to be

really dedicated and persistent and it

helps if you have a good trainer like me

come on i'll have you fit into that coat

in no time but first a balanced diet

i've got just the thing i feed alfred

you know it's what keeps him in such

stunning shape

now then to stay on a diet you have to

like what you eat so

let's start with the all fat fried

coconuts diet plan

or perhaps the candied crabs diet plan

would work better

well you know when i was a girl we used

to go on the mono donut diet you pick

one donut save coconut

care about sprinkles

and then that's all you eat day and

night you're bound to lose weight thanks

but uh we better be moving on to

something a little more active

excuse me they're like napping oh

napping is so invigorating

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i've asked dog to put some of that weird

science of his to good use

tada

i call it the agglometer losing weight

machine oh it looks like such fun you

know i had a little bi cycle as a child

it's more reinforced titanium than i

originally planned

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thanks for all your help

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tweaks you gotta help them stop eating

i've confronted the thing

slimming wastes upsets and wrinkles turn

this fool into chickens ankles

now walk around like a chicken

how is this gonna help windows slim down

and get into shape get into shape who

cares about that it's just funny to see

him act like a chicken

bark like a chicken

cut it out creaks i mean it

what happened

i feel an odd need to brood if you

really want to help him get into shape

he should use my rack or my better nails

or my iron maiden they've made me the

stuffed muffin i am today

uh no thanks i'm at the end of my rope

but not that end

i should have known that if i wanted to

get anything done properly i should have

steer clear of all the other islanders

wendell

you're an old-fashioned kind of guy

you need old-fashioned exercises

my action guy comic number three it's

really really old 1992 charles belt

lists wonder exercises i'm terribly

afraid mike i don't understand how

kicking sand into a bully's face is

going to get me to fit into my

ceremonial jacket uh you will you

definitely will

yeah

juggle these

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how was that uh let's hit the pommel

horse

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okay unless it hits you first

that's it baby you own the ring show em

you owe them do the iron cross

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i'm on fire i'm cooking

i'm even breaking sweat

you go wendell i never knew that

exorcise could be so invigorating

i feel so free

i am wendell hear me roar in fitness too

big to be ignored

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perhaps you should think of slimming

down old girl do your world of good you

know

time for my morning swim

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i can't believe it something i tried to

do on this whacked out island actually

worked wendell it's only two days to the

ceremony you can make it call me if you

need any more help oh dear child what

could possibly go wrong in two days

thanks mike that girl has been such a

help she showed me the air of my ways

from this point forward it's only going

to be the buff and studler when

oh i'm so proud of myself

i deserve a little something

oh i forgot how good candy can be

it's like a little workout for the

tongue

i'll just have one more

maybe

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time for the ceremonial state of the

coconut address you wearing the coat

no no no no no no no

wendell

you're so

huge what happened uh i seem to have had

a little accident

i don't know how exactly but several

tons of candy fell down my throat oh

that worked for nothing oh not to worry

meg every good governor always has a

backup plan you see i will make you

proud

i suppose wendell's not coming what what

probably couldn't fit into his costume

you and your newfangled ways crack and

better nails not good enough for you

now

look i'm sure that mike's methodical

attention to detail and training wendell

has proven to be a successful experiment

right mike oh you betcha

look i have to confess that wendell is

approaching the podium right this very

moment

well i'm a crocodile's uncle he's done

it by joe

i'm feeling rather faint

he's so manly in his uniform no offense

dear oh none taken my love that's my dad

no way

before reading my speech i would like to

offer you a few

poses

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i gotta know a few minutes ago you were

huge and now you're like well mike it's

like i always say

it's not how you look on the outside

that counts it's all in how you feel on

the inside and i feel

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oh i feel so much better

as the saying goes you should never

judge a man by the cut of his clothing

instead judge him by the strength of his

girl oh the notches on his rack oh the

clarity of his p fat or the size of his

galvanometer why do i even bother

why

i just don't get it

ain't no cars no phones there's no

parking zones ain't no chaperones ain't

no leprechauns ain't no mortgage loans

ain't no hair salon ain't no skating

boat ain't

ain't no carry

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on the island

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