01x03 - The Trick

[bunniefuu]

The life and death of
Lady Jane Malory.

Hey, Darrell.

Look what my brother sent me.

"Enjoy, but don't be greedy."

Candy! Who'd like one?

No!

What?

They'll be trick sweets
like last term.

And I could taste soap
in my mouth for a week.

Don't be such babies.
Mary-Lou, give them a try.

No, thank you very much.

I'll try one.

At least someone here
is not a complete chicken.

Maybe just... this little one.

I told you!

Is she choking?

What do we do?
Somebody help her. Is she OK?

Only joking!

It's vicious. Wicked. Cruel.

See? Fortune favours the bold.
Who's next?

Well, if they're really not trick
sweets, perhaps I'll try one.

Just look at the size of
these cherry slices.

Don't be such a greedy guts,
Mary-Lou!

Gwen, your teeth!

I'm sure it will brush out.
You don't need to look so "blue"!

What is all this noise?

Sweets?

I'll be confiscating those,
thank you very much.

You'll get them back
at the end of term.

Right, bed, quickly, please.

Ugh, this will never come off!

Ooh.

So, on that dark, misty night,

Lady Jane crept out of Malory Towers
to elope with her love...

The highwayman, Fast Jack!
Don't interrupt!

From his window, her father saw Jack
help Jane on to his horse,

and he followed.
Did he catch them?

Worse!

He chased them, galloping, scared.

Their horse lost its way...

And Jane's father heard
the sound of the hoof beats stop!

Then, a bloodcurdling scream

as they plummeted over the cliff

to their watery graves.

How awful.

At least they died together.

I meant for the horse.

Now, Lady Jane's tragic ghost
wanders the halls.

Some girls say
they've felt her frozen hands

clutching their shoulders,

desperate to be saved
from the icy depths.

Boo!

You lot, stop your chatting

and get back into your own beds
or I'll go fetch Matron. Aww.

Goodnight. Goodnight, all.

This is all our fault.

We made fun of the ghost
and now she's sent us a sign!

What do you think she wants?

Maybe to wash her hands?

Don't touch it!

It's just strawberry jam.

Your handiwork, I presume.

I had nothing to do with it.

Told you - strange things happen
at Malory Towers!

Well, whoever it was
needs to jolly well clean it up.

Sally? Come on.

Wasn't me.

Oh, it says here that,
in this very garden,

domestic servants of Malory Towers

not only aired their laundry
but folded it, too.

Fascinating, isn't it?

Not really, Mary-Lou.

No. I don't suppose it is.

Anyone seen Alicia? I'm supposed
to go swimming with her.

No sign of her since lunch.

She'll have to miss this one,
I guess.

I say, you two have become
rather chummy.

Yeah, my brothers are pretty smart.

Come along, girls, allez! You don't
want to be late for your lesson.

Mam'zelle Rougier -
her classes are so boring.

Wait, I... I know something we can do

but I'm going to need your help.
Go on.

Today, we are going
to learn something

that I think you will find
quite interesting -

the reflexive pronoun.

Now, open your books
to chapter four.

Darrell Rivers, what are you doing?

You said to throw
our books on the floor.

I most certainly did not.

Darrell's been given drops
for an ear infection, Mam'zelle,

so you'll have to speak up.

Darrell, is this true?

Darrell!

Darrell!

If I speak this loud, can you 'ear?

No, I'm not allowed to drink beer.

Not beer, hear! Hear.

Oh, that's enough, now.

Girls, you forget yourselves. This
is quite enough of this giddiness.

Jean, do you think this is funny?

Silence!

Mary-Lou, please!

Hairy blue cheese?

Silence, maintenant, silence!

Er-hem! What's happening in here?

Is there a reason
for all this noise?

I'm sorry, Miss Potts. The girls
are quite giddy this morning.

Darrell Rivers says she can't hear.

Perhaps if you sat
at the front of the class

it wouldn't be such a problem.

Mm.

Ah, Matron!

I'm afraid I have
quite a big favour to ask.

The model for the first-form
life-drawing class has taken ill.

Would you have any objection
to posing?

You are too kind, Matron, too kind.
We are lucky to have you.

Bien, class dismissed.

I nearly collapsed when you said
you couldn't drink beer.

It was too much.

It's great to have another fun girl
in North Tower.

I'll save you a seat in art.
I'll be right behind you.

Little Miss Popular!

But do you really think
Alicia's going to be

best friends with a girl like you?

I do hope you're not jealous.

Because the last thing you need

is green eyes
to go with those blue teeth.

Very good, girls. Pencils down -
your hour is up.

Let's have a show of appreciation
for our Valkyrie shieldmaiden.

Thanks, Matron. Thank you so much,
Matron. Thank you, Matron.

That was too funny.

Looks like Gwen isn't
the only greedy one around here.

We have to tell the others
about this. Come on.

The girls in West Tower
are going to be in fits!

One moment, please!

Yes? Sorry to call on you so late,
but I wanted you to have that.

It's bicarbonate of soda to get
the blue stain out of your teeth.

Oh.

But I'm afraid those horrid girls
played the same mean trick on me.

They're always picking on me.

Oh, you poor thing. Which girls?

Well... I'm not one to tattle, but...

Lady Jane?

Irene?

Irene! What are you doing?

Irene!

Irene? Irene!

It wasn't the ghost, was it?
It was Irene sleepwalking.

Sleep-eating!

Well, it actually explains
why I'm never hungry in the morning.

And why I sometimes
find jam in my hair.

You should tell Matron.
My father's a doctor,

he says sleepwalking's
a serious matter.

Darrell's right. Come on, Irene,
let's go see Matron.

Darrell, we could have got into
all kinds of mischief tonight

and blamed it on
Irene's sleepwalking.

You don't really mean that, do you?
Of course I do.

Now, what are you doing at break?

I was thinking we could
finally squeeze that swim in.

I'd love to, but I have to finish
the project for Miss Potts.

Every time I check it,
I find more mistakes.

Potty's the teacher - it's her job
to find mistakes, not yours.

Come on, I owe you a swim.

We'll go straight after history

and you can hand in
Miss Potts's essay on the way.

What are you doing? Hurry up,
we're going to be late!

What? I can't hear you,
I've got water in my ears -

they're completely blocked.

It's not funny! It's funnier
than you could possibly imagine.

Guess who we have next class.

Bonjour.

Darrell Rivers.

Darrell Rivers.

Darrell Rivers - were you not told
to sit in the front of the class?

Sorry, Mam'zelle,
did you say something?

I'm afraid I can't hear a thing -
my ears are blocked.

Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me.

I will have no shame on me.
But, Mam'zelle, it's true. Tell her!

You must believe me.

Of course! Poor Darrell Rivers.

But if there is something wrong
with your ear,

we must call Matron.

I'm sure she would love to poke
around in that little head of yours.

No, Mam'zelle.

Are you sure?

Because I can have Matron here...
just like that.

Er, oui? Terribly sorry,
Mrs... Rogers.

Mam'zelle Rougier.

Can I borrow Darrell Rivers
and Alicia Johns, please?

Please, Matron, they are all yours.

"Mer-see bel-coom".

Matron, where are we going?
You'll see.

Stop playing with your ears, girl!
Do you hear me?

Er, yes, yes, I do.

My ears have cleared.

Yes, Matron, I hear you.
Good. Then hear this.

I know it was you two
who were behind those trick sweets.

Did you really think you were
going to get away with it?

Us? Whoever told you that?

That's none of your business!

Well, we'll see how funny it is

when you're explaining yourselves
to Miss Grayling.

Gwen!

We're sorry, Matron, we hope we
don't get you into too much trouble.

You? Get me into trouble?

Why would I be in trouble?

Well, Miss Grayling will know that
you took a sweet for yourself.

I mean, how else would you know
that they were trick sweets?

Darrell! How could you even say
such a thing?

Matron would never take a sweet.

She knows better than anyone
that confiscated items

are private property and to be
returned by the end of term.

It's in the school rules.

Isn't that right, Matron?
Yes, of course.

I do not need you
to tell me the rules.

And besides, do her teeth look blue
to you? Not at all.

Although... Yes! Well...

I think I've made my point.

I am going to let you off
with a warning this time.

Now, out of my sight, the pair
of you, before I change my mind.

You know what, you and I are going
to become the best of friends.

Betty!

You're back!
How was your trip to Tasmania?

I missed you!

We got those blue candies,
and we fooled Matron!

How was your holidays?

Darrell, I've just been marking
the history projects.

I think you and I
need to have a chat.

We'll have so much fun
tricking these first-form girls

now that you're here.

I imagine you're as disappointed
as I am.

But... I really tried.

Did you? I'm not so sure.

From what I hear,
you're more interested

in making mischief with Alicia Johns
than in your schoolwork.

What would your father think
if he knew

how you were spending your time
at Malory Towers?

I-I work just as hard as
the top girls,

really, I do, but it doesn't seem
to make a difference.

I can hear your voice in there,
Darrell.

You have so much to say.

You have buckets of potential,

but you must put in the work.

The best Malory Towers girls aren't
always those who find it easy,

but those who give all they've got.

Off you go.

Girls were much better behaved
in our day. Mm.

Would you believe it,

only earlier today, I was accused
of eating confiscated sweets. Mm.

Me? Huh!

I said, "Excuse me,
items on the confiscation shelf"

"are private property,"

"and the swiping of said sweets"

"would be a violation
of school rules."

Well, that shut them up.

Good afternoon.

Well, as we're still
waiting for a few people,

Matron, may I speak with you
for a moment? Of course.

I've been giving some thought
to Irene's sleepwalking.

Ah, yes. In my book,
it's an accident waiting to happen.

I couldn't agree more,

and I believe I've come up with
a rather elegant solution.

Although it does mean me asking for
one more little favour.

Oh.

I'll sleep well tonight,
now that I know you're the ghost.

Please stop calling me that.

Anyway, me sleepwalking
doesn't rule out

a ghost roaming in
the corridors too.

I hadn't thought of that.

There's no such thing as ghosts.

How can you be so sure, Sally?

Ghost of Lady Jane Malory!

If you're here, make yourself known.

Miss Grayling and I
have come to the decision

that, until Irene's sleepwalking
is under control,

I'll be staying in here with you.

At least it wasn't the ghost.

No. It's much worse!

Get... in... bed!

Now!

Irene! Irene!

Great. But, if you're here,
who is it over...?