13x08 - Food PBFFT! Truck/Upturn Girls

[bunniefuu]

- Are you ready, kids?

Kids: Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

Kids: Aye, aye, Captain!

- ♪ Ohh... ♪

♪ Who lives in a pineapple
under the sea? ♪

Kids:
SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Absorbent and yellow
and porous is he ♪

kids:
SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ If nautical nonsense
be something you wish ♪

kids:
SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Then drop on the deck
and flop like a fish ♪

kids:
SpongeBob SquarePants!

- Ready?

All:
SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

- SpongeBob

SquarePants!

[laughing]

♪ ♪

[waves crashing]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[indistinct excited chatter]

- [laughs] Me restaurant

is packed to the gills
with customers and their money.

[laughs]

- [groans]

[grunts]

[screams]

Mr. Krabs,
the register is full again.

- I got it, Mr. Squidward.

[laughs]
[vacuum whooshes]

Ooh.
[laughs]

Ooh, hmm.

[laughs]

Huh?

Hey, why aren't you in line?

Don't you want a Krabby Patty?

- I'd love one,
but it's so far away.

[engine revs]

Not quite as good
as a Krabby Patty,

but I didn't have to move
one inch.

Mmm.

- [groans]

That food truck
stole me customer.

Well, if the customers
won't come to the Krusty Krab,

I'll bring the Krusty Krab
to them.

- Mr. Krabs,
what are we doing out here?

- Your generous employer
has a surprise for you.

- I love your surprises,
Mr. Krabs.

My favorite surprise
was the rubber check.

- [laughs] That was a good one.

Behold!

Me brand new... to me...

Food truck, the Krusty Kruiser.

[laughs]
Uh-oh.

- What a hunk of junk.

- More like a big hunk
of gorgeous.

- We won't sell any patties
from that old jalopy.

- You better sell a patty
or you better not come back.

- [groans]

[yelping]
[gears cranking]

[engine revs]

- Oh, and Mr. Squidward,

you're driving.

- [groans]

- Ooh, I can navigate.

- Oh, joy.

- Customers, h*.
- Get going!

- Now all we need
is a parking spot

next to lots
of hungry customers.

Ooh!

That looks like a good spot,
Squidward.

[car horn honks]
Huh?

- That's my spot, you creep.

[groans]

- Ooh, try over there.

[tires squeal]

[both yelp]

- [groans]

- Boink.
I found an empty spot in here.

[laughs]
- Shut it.

[jackhammer rattling]

- Construction workers
are always hungry.

[tires screech]

Krabby Patties.

Get your red-hot Krabby Patties.

Ooh.
[laughs]

- Hey, you claim jumpers!
This is my turf.

[grunts]

all: Whoa.

- Bon appétit.

- Now this place looks classy.

- Krabby Patties.

Get your delicious, affordable
Krabby Patties here.

- Affordable?

Oof, how common.

Oh, canapé truck!

Both: Whoa!

- We tried all over
Bikini Bottom

and didn't sell a thing.

Time to go back
and tell Krabs we failed.

- There's one place
we still haven't tried.

Whoa!

- Huh?
[yelps]

- Rock Bottom.

- [groans]
- Turn, turn.

[tires squeal]
- [screams]

both: [screaming]

[dramatic music]

- [groans]

[creature howls faintly]

- Oh, this place is deserted.

- Hmm, if I recall correctly,
there are always

friendly Rock Bottomites
at the bus stop.

[mysterious music]

- What a fabulous idea,
SpongeBob.

There are so many
customers here.

[wind whooshes]

- Maybe the Rock Bottom mall?

- [groans] The mall.

[mellow music playing]

- Where is everybody?

The circus should be good
for crowds.

- Hmm.

Maybe it's a flea circus?

[laughs]

- It's still warm.

Oh, the cemetery is empty too.

This place isn't even
a ghost town.

- Well, we tried.
Let's go home.

Both: Huh?
- [blowing raspberry]

- [gasps] A customer.

Step right up and get
a delicious, half-fresh...

Huh?

Krabby Patty.
- [blows raspberry]

- Huh?

There he is.

[quirky music]

♪ ♪

- Ah!

[grunts]

Where did he go?

- Up there.

- [blows raspberry]

- [groans] I got him this time.

[tires squeal]
- Whoa!

- [blows raspberry]

both: [screaming]

both: Uh-huh.

[groan and scream]

- [blows raspberry]

- Oh! We lost him.

- There he is.
- [blows raspberry]

♪ ♪

both: Huh?

- Can we go home now?

- Mr. Krabs said
we can't go back

until we sell
at least one Krabby Patty.

- Fine, I'll just buy
a stupid patty myself.

What?
[groans]

Forgot my wallet
in my pants at home.

Oh, SpongeBob, could you please

lend me some money
to buy a patty?

- I only carry Krusty Kash.

- "Not valid
at the Krusty Krab"?

I guess if I ever want
to go home,

we have to sell a patty
to that mysterious weirdo.

- No problem.
I'll track him down

using my jellyfishing expertise.

[mysterious music]

- [blows raspberry]

♪ ♪

- Hmm, hmm.

[tires squeal]

Got ya!
Huh?

- [buzzes]

both: [yelping]

- Ow!
- My brainstem!

- I learned this trick
reading Jungle Fish Comics.

Both: [panting]

- [blows raspberry]

- Ha!
Got the little barnacle.

- [buzzes]

- Oh.
- Huh.

Both: [screaming]

[tires squeal]

- [groans]

- [groans]

Well, since I'm never
going home,

I may as well get comfortable.

- [blows raspberry] Hey!

You're those weirdos
that have been...

[blows raspberry]
Chasing me around town.

[blows raspberry]

- Why were you waving at us
and then running away?

- Huh?
[blows raspberry]

I can't understand your accent.
[blows raspberry]

- I'll handle this, Squidward.

I speak fluid Rock Bottom-ish.

Why...
[blows raspberry]

Were you...
[blows raspberry]

Waving at us?
[blows raspberry]

- I wasn't...
[blows raspberry]

Waving at you.
[blows raspberry]

I was...
[blows raspberry]

Drying out my armpits.

[gasps]

Oh!

- We just wanted to...
[blows raspberry]

Sell you a hot...
[blows raspberry]

Delicious Krabby Patty.
[blows raspberry]

- It does look...
[blows raspberry]

Tasty.

Both: We're gonna sell a patty.
[blows raspberry]

[engine revs]

Huh?
[blows raspberry]

all: [groaning
and blowing raspberries]

[laughing
and blowing raspberries]

[playful music]

♪ ♪

- [chuckles]

- Hey, Bert.
[blows raspberry]

Too bad you couldn't...
[blows raspberry]

Come with us
on our yearly trip to the...

[blows raspberry]
Krusty Krab,

But here's your Krabby Patties.
[blows raspberry]

- Thanks, Frank.
[blows raspberry]

But you know how long
these pits take to dry.

[blows raspberry]

Sorry, fellas.
[blows raspberry]

I'd love to buy a patty from ya,

but I already have a whole bag.

Both: [groans]

- [laughs] Those Rock Bottomers

really love
their Krabby Patties.

[laughs]
Ooh.

[engine sputtering]

both: [groans]

- SpongeBob, Squidward,
you're back.

How many patties did you sell?

- Uh, none.

- [groans] What in the name

of all that's greasy
have you been doing all day?

You're going right back out
there until you sell a patty!

[stomach growls]

Sorry, boys.
[chuckles]

I'm a little hangry.
I've been so busy,

I haven't eaten anything meself.

Huh?

- Ahem, that'll be...
[blows raspberry]

Five bucks.
[blows raspberry]

- All right, fine.

Comes straight back
to me pocket anyhow.

- Yay!

- We finally sold
a Krabby Patty.

- I can finally go home.

- [laughs]

[groans]

When I have to pay for it,

it tastes like old snail litter.

[groans]

Ooh, oh... [screams]

Oh.
[blows raspberry]

[bright music]

♪ ♪

- [hums]

- Let's go!
Come on!

- Huh?

Hey, what's the hold up
in there?

You're acting like you've never
cooked a Krabby Patty before.

[bell rings]
- Yeah, Dad, that's because

I never have cooked
a Krabby Patty before.

Why are you making me do this?

- Because today is bring...

I mean, put your daughter
to work day.

Besides, SpongeBob is busy deep
cleaning the barrel chairs.

- [hums]

- Uh, do you mind?

- Oh, no, not at all.

[whistles]
- [groans]

- Here's your food or whatever.

Oh, hi, SpongeBob.
- Hi, Pearl.

Isn't this just
the best job ever?

[grunts]

[gasps]
Hmm.

- How do, SpongeBob!
- [screams]

- Narlene.

Hey, where's your brother,
Nobby?

- [groans]

- Ma'am.

- Me and Nobby was just
on our way to the big city,

so we thought we'd take you up

on your offer
to show us the sights.

- Ooh, I'd love to.

We can say hi
to my favorite fire hydrant

and then we can see the old man
that feeds the clams

and then... no.

I can't abandon
these lovely people.

All: [chewing and burping]

- Ooh, then why don't
I show you around the big city?

I don't care about these people.

- Little Pearly's gonna
take us on an adventure?

Hot dippity!

- Anything to get out
of this place.

It'll be a whale's day out.

- [grunts] Hard day's work.

[grunts]
- [groans]

- Nobby says he's fixing to stay

and help SpongeBob
with the hungry folk.

So, Pearl, looks like
we got ourselves a deal.

[hocks, spits]

- Okay.
- This'll be great.

Two whale gals reconnoitering
the big city together.

- If we want to do that
"noitering" thing in the city,

I'll need an advance
on my allowance.

Oh, Daddy!

- [groans]
All right, here you go.

- Ugh, Dad, we can't have
a whale's day out

with your balsa wood card.

We need the diamond unlimited!

- My diamond.

[horn honks]
- I never took a Scuber before,

but it sure is
mighty convenient.

'Preciate the lift.
[grunts]

Huh?

I'll be!

These city streets is paved
with chewing candy.

[grunts]
I'm saving you as a souvenir.

Ah.

Ah!

[grunting]

Mm.

Ah!
Tasty.

- Uh, the city also has

a lot of things in it
that aren't gross.

- Really?

Oh,
like these fancy shacks here?

- Yeah, these are skyscrapers.

- And that?

- That's public transportation.

- Ow.

[jackhammer rattling]
- What's he doing?

- Street construction!

- [laughs]

- [groans] Ooh.

Why, it's like
walking through a TV show.

- Phew.
Ah.

[timer beeping]
Huh?

Uh-oh, the fries.
If only I could reach them.

- [yelping, grunting]

- Oh.

Wow. Thanks, Nobby.

Now if only the condiments
were closer.

- [grunts] Here you go.
- Ah.

- [babbling]
- [laughs]

Too bad the bun rack is
on the other side of the room.

Oh, yeah!
This is what I call fast food!

- This is my favorite
department store

and, like,
the heart of the big city.

Upturn's.

[energetic music]

♪ ♪

- Whoa.

Huh?

Ooh!

- [groaning]

- These here automatic doors
sure is frilly,

but we hill folk do things
a little more polite-like.

[grunts]
Right this way, sir.

- [groans]

- Excuse me!

What do you think you're doing?

- Uh, holding the door.
Here, you try.

- [groans]
- Narlene, that's Lady Upturn.

- [groans, huffs]

- [laughs] I'm so sorry.

She's new in town,
but we'll be good shoppers.

I swear.
- Hmm, yes.

All right, carry on,
my little consumerists.

But here at Upturn's,
we take shopping seriously.

Both: Okay.

- Welcome to
the perfume department.

[sweeping music]

♪ ♪

- [grunts]

[coughs and sneezes]

Phew-wee!

I think something
done died up in here.

- Died and went to heaven!

Yeah!
[laughing]

[sighs]

Ambergris.
[laughs]

- I... [chokes]

[yelping]

Why, you!

- Yes?

- What's your problem?

- I've got a cleanup
on aisle you.

Perhaps another sample spritz?

- Sorry, but I ain't too
'ticular about that stench.

- Really.

- Besides, I carry my own
signature stink.

- Huh?
- Toadstool tang.

[laughs]
Wa-hoo!

- My nose!

The horrible stench!

- [coughs]
- [groans]

[all screaming]

- Come on, we better cheese it!

What do you think
about this cool dress?

- I don't know.
It's kind of constricting.

Both: [laughs]

- Attention, Upturn's shoppers.

There's a sale
in the shoe department.

Tenth floor.
- [gasps] Come on!

- Whoa!

[elevator dinging]

- Whoa.
[elevator dings]

- No way.
So many shoes!

[laughs]

- Huh?

[gasps]

- [sighs]

- [gasps]
- [laughs]

- Uh, no offense, Pearly girl,

but my feet
don't cotton much to shoes.

- As the saying goes,
there's a tiny shoe

for every giant foot.
- Whoa!

- May I?

- Well, if the shoe fits.

[sniffing]

[growling]

- You slaughtered my stiletto!

- Sorry.
I told you.

- Wait a minute.
I know you two.

You're those hooligans!

It's those wily whales.

Code red!

[alarm blaring]

[elevator dings]
both: [grunting]

- [laughs and grunts]

[soldiers grunting]

- Hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut!
- Ha!

- Hut, hut, hut, hut,
hut, hut, hut, hut, hut.

[dramatic music]

- Ah!

- Lady Upturn!
Sorry.

Narlene and I
were just having some fun.

- Fun?

Shopping is
not supposed to be fun.

Fortunately for me,

you'll never
be shopping here again!

- But I had
the diamond unlimited card.

[cries]

all: Hut, hut, hut,
hut, hut, hut, hut.

- Come on, let's get.
- Ah!

- [grunts]

[mellow music playing]

[elevator dings]
both: [panting]

Whoa!
[elevator dings]

all: Hut, hut, hut,
hut, hut, hut, hut, hut.

- You, young ladies,
do not belong here,

especially her.

- Huh?

- So what if my friend
doesn't do things

the way city people do?

At least she's not
a stuck-up snob like you.

- Oh!
- Besides.

- Mm.
- We cetacean sisters

always stick together.

- [yelps, grunts]

Ah! Ah.

- [grunts, heaves]

[all grunt]

- Oh!
- [grunting]

- Yee-haw!
- Hey!

- [blowing whistle]

- Ha-ha, whoa.

[all grunting]

- [grunts]

[laughs]

[screams]
all: Hut, hut, hut, hut.

- Diamond unlimited!

[screams]

[playful music]

I've got it.

♪ ♪

both: [groans]

Huh? Ah!
- [yelps]

- [babbling]

My bad.

- [whistles]

- [yells]
- Aw!

- [grunts]

- Looks like
they worked you like a horse.

- Yeah.
- Aw.

Oh.
- [whinnies]

both: [laughs]

- Thanks for
the whale's day out, Pearl,

but the big city's
more trouble than it's worth.

Next time, you're coming
to the countryside.

- [laughs]
- Yeah, let's do that sometime.

Yee-haw!
[laughs]

- Pearl, what's the deal with
all these charges at Upturn's?

- Why wait?

Let's go to the countryside
right now.

[upbeat western music]

Goodbye, Daddy!
See you real soon.

- Sooner than you think!
- [screams]

Wait, wait!

Where do you think you're going?

You can't go away now!

- Hello?
Anybody there?