06x10 - The Social Climbers

[bunniefuu]

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listen to him a story about a man named

Jed the poor Mountaineer barely kept his

family fed and then one day he was

sh**ting at some food and up through the

ground come a bubble and crude oil that

is black gold Texas Tea

well the first thing you know old Jeb's

a millionaire the Kim folks said Jed

move away from there said California is

a place you ought to be so deluded up

the truck in the mood to Beverly Hills

that is swimming pools movie stars the

Beverly hillbilly

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thank you

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I want

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even your voice is changing

how don't you try to stop me even a

sweet natured soft-hearted Saints like

me can be pushed too far Danny you told

me you was going to be more tolerant of

Miss Dresden and I was I forgive her for

what she's done right off but this is

for their mothers the ones that are too

chicken-hearted to fight back for

themselves who's too chicken-hearted

them She chased out of her yard

our chicken

penned up the only thing she hates in

her yard were some chickens it does well

they was just offering a hip and Claw

she was having a long party and folks

was chomping on cookies and cakes and

our chickens singing the problems they

was dropping so they went through the

Hedge to help them clean up that still

ain't an excuse to go building all list

of tormentor what are you doing out here

anyway are you some kind of a

troublemaker I got a letter for you

better for me who's it from I don't know

it ain't got no return address I'll

Steven open up any age for you just open

it quiet you should get the mail address

to me I may always get us for that other

family name of octopus

come here it's from her who's her

Adeline Ashley the headline Ashley the

very one the dream girl of Every

Mountain boy from Pixel River to the

state line

read the letter

he's gonna stop by and see howdy to us

while she's here visiting friends in

Cucamonga ain't that exciting no one

ever been to Cucamonga oh I met her

stopping here feature coming halfway

across the world to just visit friends

and travel in first class too by bus her

husband always was one to spend the

money on it he's got him to spin he's a

big Iron and steel tycoon you know Annie

he's a blacksmith

and I can see Adeline yet helping him

down at the forge

always the perfect lady

swinging that big hammer wearing her

little white look

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he don't knows next door gonna be

jealous of these granny you told me he

was going to be more tolerant and

charitable than Mrs drive to you

remember

that includes letting her meet Adeline

Ashley

I'll introduce her I ain't one to hold a

grudge or Miss Drysdale has to do is

come over here are you talking on her

hands and knees pushing the peanut with

her nose

Margaret I don't care about the clamp of

smoke in fumes as long as they're happy

and not burning ten dollar bills you

neglow money ax you don't care about me

time to go Chief well I hope I'm not

biting into the middle of a tender

romantic moment don't get litmus

Hathaway I can get another secretary not

unless you pay her a lot more than you

pay me all right get a little flip

excuse me

Mr classic come in come in

love sit down

you sit there that's all right I had to

get up anyway

Dear Mr Clapper what can I do for you

name anything as long as it's not

ill*gal a second thought name anything

period

I need a favor I just wanted you to know

that Granny is having a weekend visitor

that I know Ms dry Daley is going to

take to like a cold hog to warm I know

offensive Tim none taken after all

you're a depositor Margaret's only my

wife yeah well uh her name is Adeline

Ashley and she's a lot like you're

missing really you know extra high torn

social leader style Setter I just know

they're going to get along I see well

this lady is a friend of yours from back

in the Hills OH her friends wasn't

Backwoods Corn Huskers like us she lives

in a city oh well maybe there is a

chance

wait a minute you're not talking about

bug Tuttle are you no bug puzzled it

down she lives in the city oh good what

city turkey sh**t

I'm afraid Margaret may be flying to

Siberia that weekend what weekend is

that

when is Mrs Ashley arriving

I think granny said the 21st that's the

one

got it I know they would have hit it all

Beverly Hills

glass is clear

now according to the letter Adeline

Ashley will be here the 21st well that

gives us a whole month yes it won't be

time to more than slick up a bit we'll

make new grapes slip covers for all the

furniture we'll paint the whole house

inside and out

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hi Ashley

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I have got off to better starts

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Beverly Hills Miss Ashley ma'am of your

majesty popping gizzards

my nose is plum broke no no it's up in

the air like always looks like it's the

mule kick

to put on it

the front door so I thought what did you

put on that Court my very best point

squeezes

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domestic ain't it what I favor the

imported corn squeezing you know from

Over the county line Ashley and Jethro

to the hills for some he can be back in

a couple of weeks never mind

how's Mr Ashley is he sick oh no nothing

like that oh good she died

oh dear what an awful blow I'm back to

normal but now time went by and First

near heal the wound I'm so glad when did

you lose him last Thursday

Tom Rusty Soul would have wanted me to

carry on as usual but it's hard of

course it is since he passed on I ain't

had but two days if you don't count the

bond dance now he ride

well well you have to meet my son-in-law

Jim he's a widower you know

yes I seem to have heard something about

that but he won't be for long he's so

handsome and a snappy dresser

I hope you can stay with us

for a while maybe I can find some time

good you think it over I'll be back in a

minute

TRD granny the idea is for you to get

yourself slicked up before you meet the

winner Ashley the winner Ashley yeah Mr

Ashley went to his reward

give you a chance to get yours right

here on Earth what are you talking about

Never mind take a look in there that's a

real lady

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she tips a jug a lot like a real man did

you see her little finger up in the air

that's what you call manners

that or for hanging her empty Zone

yes it could have been a very sticky

mess Miss Hathaway I can't imagine

Margaret meeting Adeline Ashley yes your

wife does Behavior so anyone who didn't

come over on the Mayflower is an

undesirable alien look I'm not even

particularly anxious to shake hands with

that female Paul Bunyan apparently

there'll be no problem if your wife's

going to be out of town I was mildly

magnificent with Mr Clampett I used a

few clever phrases some ambiguous

statement you lied to him that's right

it's a simple matter of lie now or pay

later

he's right here

hello Mr

Clyde Josh want to tell you how

inconsolable Margaret was when she found

out that she wasn't going to meet

Adeline Ashley oh she was just broken

heart

well perhaps we can get them together

some other time

today

oh yes that that would be great yes

you'll be thrilled

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bye if you're looking for dust on that

you won't find a list no no I just want

to see where some of these things is

from I see most of them is from France

and England that's good it's just not

too all my stuff come from much further

away than that it's made in Japan

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well here comes my tall Rich handsome

kind considerate we're the worst

son-in-laws yet I want you to meet the

beautiful elegant fancy mannered

well-dressed and very strong winner

Adeline Ash

hi Miss Ashley

blacksmith Hammer sure I give you a

powerful grip I'm about to say that to

all the girls no he don't you can

believe me well uh it's an alpha spill

ma'am uh I'd like to chew the fat with

you a little when you put it that way I

can hardly resist

I'll leave you two youngsters alone so

you can get better acquainted with each

other

thank you

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ma'am how are you two getting along I

bring you a little light refreshments

what kind of refreshment well it looks

like pure clear Branch water don't it

whoop

spill the drop

thank you

take your rheumatized medicine out of

here forget it from private stock I told

you I don't want nobody drinking that

it's already been sitting so long

it lasted stumped it's all right granny

I find Dead's companies all the

refreshment I need oh fine and I'll put

on a little mood music

to break the ice

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my favorite song is Granny's favorite

too

oh my God

foreign

let's get back to uh our next door

neighbor is uh drive there do we have to

oh

we could talk about you back home

oh dog gone

I clean forgot

After all you've been through I reckon

uh it's too painful to talk about oh no

when my husband what's his name passed

on huh yeah anyways everybody says I'm

still a prized cat oh I'm sure you are

uh where else you're going to find a

woman as a combination Fashion Place and

blacksmith

turn my head with talk like that without

you

we've known one another for more than 20

minutes now isn't there some little

question you'd like to pop

hold up yeah

how do you shoe a mule

you know how to show a meal well yeah

but not like you they say that you're

the fastest hammer in the hill

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come on over here

lean against that

now I take the mules who like this here

granny are they holding hands here oh

that wouldn't say that

what are they do

I ain't sure

that's their idea of spooning they need

a refresher course

Steve I I hate to keep reminding you

with the closets and Adeline Ashley are

expecting a visit from your wife yes and

I was expecting you to think of a way to

get her over there I can't Adeline

Ashley is a hillbilly I'm sure your wife

would rather be introduced to Jack the

Ripper but what if Margaret thought she

really was a leader of society

couldn't tell that tell that to lie I

could but she wouldn't believe it wait

leave his absolute truth without a qualm

or a moment's hesitation what's that I

don't gossip too late for that not if we

utilize the fastest most efficient

Communications Network ever known what's

that

your wife's Bridge Club I believe

President Mrs Travis there she is under

B Travis is under B for blabbermouth

yeah what is it this is the Beverly

Hills news quality uh we've heard a

rumor that the fabulous socialized style

Center Adeline Ashley is in town and we

thought that you as a leader of Beverly

Hills Society might know her whereabouts

I know the whereabouts of everyone who's

anyone but I certainly wouldn't tell the

papers my dear friend Adeline is

entitled to her privacy

there it is Chief we have now about a 10

minute wait if this doesn't work

tomorrow you don't either

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elephant keep this under your wig but

Adeline Ashley is in town

center

and I'll call Jim and Priscilla and

remember

[Laughter]

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in almost 10 minutes now Chief this

telephone scheme isn't gonna work

I think maybe I could blackmail Margaret

into meeting this adline Ashley I still

have those snapshots of ernabe

oh Margaret

what news

Adeline Ashley is in town she's a

legendary figure

she has her own private fleet of yachts

and a staff of ex-husbands demand them

everyone in town is trying to find her

and get her as a house guest

do you know where she is Wilson well

it's supposed to be a secret but she's

staying at the climates

she must be one of those eccentric jet

Setters Margaret but she's a very good

friend of the clap it's in

Margaret

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dead

don't you want to talk about something

besides granny when he was a pretty girl

like me

turn off nice weather today didn't it

hope it's all right to beat you by now

sure is honey Miss Ashley this here is

my daughter Ella Mae how are you how to

do this Howdy Doody granny said you was

a real fancy talker Mercy that's French

for thank you

well I'm feeding my critters now

bye Mercy

yeah dear little granny how sweet you

look today

one of us has been hitting The Jug too

hard

all changed I'm so sorry for all the

things I've done in the past and it will

never ever happen again I want us to be

close close

clothes red

I've been waiting for this for six years

now I ain't too sure I want it

granny all right Miss Isaiah these

friends good

now my honey Adeline Ashley

I should have known that's what you was

after

just wanted to invite you to be my house

gift for a couple of weeks close friends

your friendship is as phony as your

eyelashes oh please Oscar I'm going to

just sit here say no

I know she is anxious

I believe she would have pushed a peanut

over here with her nose

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advise on dressing yourself

this is my Sunday bed yes but you're out

there look a heat better if he was

wearing spats with them boobs I'm glad

to you for your help as your wife it

wouldn't take me but a minute to have

you all looking just as classy as me how

about it Jed headline all right I'm

gonna stop playing koi guess I'll have

to twist your arms

marry me

I'm sorry Adeline but nope

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this is the hold I got my first husband

with

sweet

you're trying my patience

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I declare first it was wrapping and vote

in the Parlor and now this I'm gonna

have to give both of your spoon and

lessons

our snooty neighbor Over Yonder Miss

Drysdale wants you to be her house guest

for a couple of weeks

I already know your answer I accept

that's the wrong answer I ain't throwing

away my use waiting for you to propose

Jed I've already wasted half a day

you mean you're going to stay over there

with Miss Drysdale well I've got to get

back to some sophisticate like myself

in all the in crowds

and wait let her go get through but look

where she's headed she won't see the

Drysdale fish farm

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see she got soaked yeah

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my husband gives it the office but Mr

Drysdale I'm Adeline Ashley I'm going to

be your house guest for the next two

weeks all right I'll stay longer

sounds like Miss Drysdale is happy to

see Adeline them birds of a feather

granny she's a peacock and we're just a

bunch of old crows

speak for yourself

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go behind the scenes with Paul Tracy and

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folks

and helping of their Hospitality

hillbilly that is set a spell take your

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he's been a film life presentation

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