07x14 - Christmas in Hooterville

[bunniefuu]

[Music]

said California is the place you ought

to be sold and loaded up the truck in

the north of Beverly Hills that is

swimming pools movie stars a Beverly

Hillbillies

foreign

dog Santa Claus has been here

damn Hawks

smoked turkey

goat cheese

[Music]

and a whole side of barbecued meat

oh I sure got my letter

that might be the Bradley girls looking

for me

Commerce Bank of Beverly Hills a Jane

Hathaway speaking

is that you Jethro is that you Uncle Jed

yeah well if that's you this is me oh

Merry Christmas boy is Santa Claus

remember you he sure did there's enough

videos here the last been putting her

all day good good Jay I've been trying

to call Mr dryersdale but ain't no

answer to his house oh he's been

sleeping here Uncle Jeff Ellie's bear

Fairchild is so crazy about him you

won't let Mr Drysdale out of his sight

[Music]

kicks and snores he takes all the covers

he eats in bed I might as well spend the

night with my wife

yes sir I sure do thank you for all your

trouble oh my pleasure I was coming in

to open the store anyway and bring this

Bank he gave me

yeah that old back here it looked like

it was kind of bulging at the hinges

yeah thanks to the savings account you

folks open for Betty and Steve's baby

I think I'll transfer the funds right

now Miss Hathaway ain't back yet

a rabbit's foot yeah that's my insurance

does it work

ain't been robbed yet and a buckeye

what you folks been putting in so much

money I figured I better double my

coverage yeah I reckon the banker can't

have too much protection it sure is a

Danny Buckeye you got any more like this

I'm curing a whole bunch of them in the

back room help yourself thank you well

maybe granny would like one too she

would prefer

Mr drunker I have just had the most

exhilarating drive through your Charming

Village I'm glad you like it Miss

Hathaway oh I said that every Christmas

you're Cannonball and ride to the

yeah we've been doing that for years I

can't wait to join in good well we'll be

ready to go in just a minute I just

transferred my money from my old bank to

the one Mr Clampett gave me

I thought my boss was the only one who

opened his bank on Christmas Day

[Music]

you don't really

uh he should be arriving at the office

just about now but may I call and wish

him a Merry Christmas of course

[Music]

thank you

Merry Christmas Mr Drysdale

are you doing in here can't you read

this is private

I'll get back to your bookkeeping oh

what Mr Drysdale your employees

requested me to hand you this petition

asking you to let them go home and have

Christmas dinner with their loved ones

well

you didn't even mean it I know it by

heart hasn't changed in 20 years now

pick up that mess litter box and then go

downstairs and tell those male contents

that they want something for Christmas I

will give them a taste of the cat

exceptionally mean this morning I mean I

spent half the night playing Santa Claus

gift wrapping ham hocks and goat cheese

and the other half in bed with an old

bear how is Mrs Drysdale

foreign

here and I only wanted to say two words

merry Christmas and I have two words for

you you're fired

a winner by designing a post

to Hooterville well now you can stay

there

very well we also go to work for Mr

Rocco he's just opened a new bag a new

bank and that's one horse time I don't

believe it well it's true

Mr Clement gave him a new buy for

Christmas

well perhaps you'd like to hear it from

Mr clawford himself

it's Mr Drysdale oh

Merry Christmas Mr dry do you

well yeah I did

well granny and me had put so much money

in his old bag wouldn't hold no more so

I'll give him a new one hello

hello

this is right there you there

no heartbeat

oh I forgotten he hasn't got one

[Music]

what do you think y'all doing I'm just

waiting for the glue to dry on these new

letters get back to your bookkeeping

but I'm the manager now say so

all right just a minute can't you read

it says private

thank you for the beautiful

gift well you deserve it after 11 years

of faithful Services by the way all

right merry Christmas Mr Drucker and a

Merry Christmas to you Mr kratchet and

your employees have asked me to hand you

this testimonial letter thanking you for

their ways their bonus their pension

their profit sharing plan their paid up

Insurance they're short hours and a

five-day week and especially for

personally paying off all their

mortgages my pleasure you're a wonderful

man Chief stop calling him Chief I am

your Chief not anymore Mr Drysdale

you're just one of us Indians now

can I Vlog in Mr truckers

that would be mean there are 65 other

employees waiting to flog him

all right all right

everyone will get a chance

all in all the other employees

he's coming too this happened I always

said at 21 Division oh don't flog me

please everyone can have the rest of

Christmas off go home to your loved one

foreign

Miss Gene I'm sure it's nothing to worry

about granny

you reckon that Sam could be asking Jed

for my hand

the granny is it really that serious

between you and Mr Drucker he wrote me a

letter proposal to me really well then

it settled well I think he proposed but

before I could get to that part

Ellie's bear at my letter

what are you talking about true

I was sitting at the kitchen table

reading Sam's letter when

for Christmas yeah honey but don't

bother me now I think Sam's building up

to a proposal well is Mr Drysdale going

to take care of my critters like you've

done Thanksgiving yeah yeah you hear

that Sir Charles Mr Drysdale is going to

be giving you breakfast in bed again

come take a look

what he's done to my very best

foreign

[Music]

ever since then I've been trying to

figure out whether I'm engaged or not

it's driving me crazy Merry Christmas

would that be Sam oh I think it's Steve

oh it's the little mama

and my precious baby oh let me see the

little Diamond beautiful dude looks more

like me every day would you like to hold

a granny oh I'd love to honey but I

better not I'm a nervous wreck what's

the trouble my sweetie's keeping me on

Needles and Pins

she doesn't know if they're engaged or

not the bear rate sales proposal

yeah honey let's go out and come in

again

I know you're gonna sing your new song

for Granny it's just what you need

these Dusty beautiful

no you sit down right here and listen

this song tells you how to get more out

of Life by living one day at a time

one day at a time

[Music]

a fleeting

moment out of time

that finds you near me

what is

[Music]

though we may want to

too soon let's go

there is now

and now it's past

so live as if the clock were fast

[Music]

to see and hear me

if there's no tomorrow

no heartbreak

no sorrow

much to give

if you only live

one day at a time

it will happen one day

a Sunday

a Monday

[Music]

as the sun comes up

one day at a time

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foreign

[Music]

that was beautiful just what I needed

the song was really inspiring it sure

was now let's all go to the kitchen and

get to work what do you think you're

doing I'm getting hustled by a bear

that's what he ain't fooling me he's a

checker shark you mean he beat you four

straight games he won my ham hocks my

smoked turkey my goat cheese and now

the sausages what about the side of beef

he didn't want that too except I ate it

for breakfast

you've got to drive me to Hooterville I

don't have a car I ain't going near

Hooterville they I promise to marry the

Bradley girls you said yourself they put

me in jail when I was I didn't I'll take

care of it I ain't taking no chances

look Jethro

I've got to get there your uncle's yet

has given Sam Drucker a new bank and

he's putting all his money in it

if I don't get there in time I'll lose

80 million dollars look at it this way

Mr Drysdale money ate everything

no wonder that bear beat you all right

if you won't drive me can I borrow the

truck nope you're sail oh thank you

Jethro I'll be back in a few days and

take good care of your child

hold it you ain't leaving me here alone

with this uh hairy Minnesota Fats

you goes he goes I ain't Sharon no bed

or no bath with no 400 pound Checker

Hustler I can't drive through the

streets with a bear what will people

think put some clothes on him and

they'll think he's a hippie

directions Mr Drysdale the Granny's

white lightning in the gas tank you'll

make Hooterville by dark yeah with

Fairchild the front seat I'll be lucky

to make it out of town

surprise them just leave by way of the

Sunset Strip and nobody will even notice

him

[Applause]

are you there

I guess I was wrong there can't be much

work to do if Uncle Joe's asleep and

stranger that's a sure shine there's

work to do

[Music]

Drucker I need your help how much not

the money heck I make a dollar and a

half a week that's enough to marry Ellie

on 80. yeah considering she's worth 20

million

20 million who's got 20 million yeah we

need clamping that so is Granny Granny's

got 20 million Mr Clampett's got 80 and

he told me it split four ways

wonder if that sweet little woman needs

any help in the kitchen

thank you

now what is it Emma I can't get up the

nerve to propose to any will you do it

for me oh that won't work sure it will

I'm just a dumb old country boy you're a

merchant Prince I'm a general store

keeper also a postmaster and a banker

and a judge

you can centered sir to marry me look

ebb I I tell you what I'll do if I get a

chance I'll I'll put in a good word for

you okay you got to do more than that

well I'll tell her you're a fine catch

that's it lie for me any news yet granny

did Mr Joker ask for a hand no he didn't

oh well then how about taking us up on

our suggestion it wouldn't take long

we've got all the equipment no I'm gonna

catch him fair and square okay well call

us if you change your mind all right

come on Bobby Joe let's finish up

what was that all about

that's girl talk Jen where's Slippery

Sam not on the porch last I've seen him

Mr Joker

and said you wanted to talk to me or uh

yeah yeah Ali me uh let's sit down over

here for a minute

uh M's an awful nice boy don't you think

sure did I'll pushago

yeah well he's a country boy and he

asked me to

well uh I'm a Justice of the Peace you

see and I can marry folks enough

well look Kelly I'll get right to the

point you like ebb well enough to marry

him well gee I don't know

well you take your time think it over

and if your answer yes I'll marry okay

what is it granny he likes him young so

I'm putting myself in your hands work

your magic on me oh that's wonderful

there's an old saying if the fish ain't

biting change your bait

foreign

has anyone seen granny she's disappeared

I am

where are you hiding my golden girl but

I haven't seen her mess up you're trying

to take her away from me you're nuts

how'd you like to settle this man the

man well okay okay then just step

outside sure

excuse me

get your choice of weapons red or black

you want to play Checkers

20 million dollars winner take all

Joe Mr Drucker uh Bobby and I can clear

up the mystery for you Granny's upstairs

yes we offered to help her with her

makeup and wardrobe but things got out

of hand

she went so far overboard that we gave

up hello

[Music]

in with the old folks and he lost kids

alone

[Music]

so you like them young do you sweetie

well come on over here under the

mistletoe

your golden girls talking to you she

ain't talking to me

come on over here handsome

my golly she is talking to me

I'm going

to finish decorating the train so we can

sing Christmas carols tonight

come on over here Sammy

let's play post office

I just remembered I promise to help go

decorate but green

it ain't true that bombs have more fun

ah

he's too old for me anyway

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

s

[Applause]

how about you Sam

I think I've had enough granny I could

swear I just saw a bear driving a truck

[Music]

[Music]

because now it's time to say goodbye to

Jed and all his skin they would like to

thank you folks for kindly dropping in

you're all invited back next week to

this locality to have a heap and helping

of their Hospitality

hillbilly that is set a spell take your

shoes off y'all come back now here