08x17 - What Happened to Shorty?

[bunniefuu]

[Music]

all that is black gold Texas Tea well

the first thing you know old gems a

millionaire the Kim folks said can't

move away from there said California is

a place you ought to be sold and loaded

up the truck in the mood to Beverly

Hills that is swimming pools movie stars

The Beverly Hillbillies

foreign

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foreign

come in come in thank you how are you

Miss Kravitz fine and daddy say you

folks you're all gushing up you're going

to a wedding we're here to greet the

mayor of Silver Dollar City doesn't need

a ride this morning yeah the families

fetching him from the airport now

what's this this is the key to the city

of Beverly Hills

let's have a minor big luck on this town

it's only a symbolic key which they

achieve here will present to Mayor

Heller oh yes and I have a little speech

to read

you're making too much of this you're

going to get Shadow flustered Chad Chad

Heller he's a mayor he's also the

blacksmith he's the only blacksmith in

the Hills ever to sh**t a full-grown

elephant you're joking he sh**t an

elephant Yep this elephant got loose

from a circus and watered into shad's

Cabbage Patch and she had chewed him

away

makes a good story The Way Chad tells it

he leaves out that part about the

Cabbage Patch I come to the airport with

a family but granny don't like to live

of the house unguarded these days as she

was telling me you folks have been

having some robberies oh it's terrible

Shan something gets took overnight no

you're Heller on behalf of the city of

Beverly Hills and the Commerce Bank

located on the corner of Wilshire

Boulevard

sure check hands with the next door

neighbor and Banker Milburn Drive deep a

pleasure to meet you Mr griesdale same

here what's that about being rod and

this here is the secretary Miss Gene

Hathaway mayor hello Mr Drysdale would

like to present to you the key to the

city of Beverly Hills well thank you Ben

don't I remember you from Silver Dollar

City what about the robberies that's

right she had Miss Jean and me what you

working at your forwards it was

thrilling the way you shape that red hot

Steel on your Anvil with those large

sinewy hands and mighty arms what did

they get last night they got a jar of my

pickle roll gizzards

I'll visit and the night before that

they made off with some hickory smoked

possum chance and a jar of my minced

pawpaws

you're all set Miss Taylor thank you hey

Granny can we have something to eat now

if the thieves ain't took it all come on

youngers we'll go take a look

well that's great deal uh why don't you

and Miss Jane stay and take fiddles with

us sir granny you got some goat cheese

that nobody stole oh cheese yeah it's

been Root Cellar for eight years if it's

gone it's got up and walked away by

itself no we have to get back to bank so

we'll have to pass up on the goat cheese

do you want me to send the police over

no I don't believe they'll eat it

neither I need to investigate the

robberies oh we catch the Rascals might

even be some early squitters

well enjoy your stay mayor Helen we'll

see you later oh yes and come over and

visit our bank and bring your money

foreign

shorty callums yeah did he settle down

once he got back home

he never got home I thought he was still

out here ah he left here a month ago he

ain't showed up back in the Hills

oh I must have scared him worse than I

thought scared him yeah well you see

shared

shorty you just went Hog Wild once he

got out here in Hollywood took to

staying up all night chasing girls

he come dragging in seven o'clock one

morning with a girl twice his size

[Music]

please let me be your first date tonight

well let's see

I give you 6 30 to 8 30. that's so short

so am I you're looking for quality or

quantity

that's shorty he always was a bear for

women

I was afraid he's gonna blow his life

saving so I advise him to marry a hill

girl and settle down on his Papa's Farm

how do you take that

he wrote a proposal and slipped it under

Ellie Mae's door

that's when I scared him I can't hear me

Jethro a man into your family is that

true Uncle Jed sure is shorty put it on

paper and slipped it under his lady

Love's door congratulations shorty

Randy's gonna make you a Dandy wife yeah

[Music]

did he say good good granny that's what

he said

oh Lordy I slipped it under the wrong

did it go

I blew it

poor little Jordy I knew he tried to

sneak away so I give him a little extra

scare to make sure he left

[Music]

oh dude I see you're about to leave

he wasn't fixing to run out on a granny

would you oh no no no no oh I bet I know

you're going back to the hills to fix up

that old farmhouse for honeymoon Cottage

and then you're going to send for your

bride you'd have to talk to her child

foreign

he was traveling when he left here I

figured he'd get home the same day we

ain't seen hiding her hair I think

[Music]

sure enough he has wiped us out the

little snatch environment Jed lets you

and me track down the rest well we can

find him this time he even took the goat

cheese

if you best arm ourselves shad we

looking for a desperate man

[Music]

thank you

[Music]

don't don't sh**t don't you dying arms

either way we kind of figured it was you

shorty

what are you doing here I hate stealing

food

and yeah I can explain this we'll sit

around and do that shorty

again

you remember that uh proposal note I put

under Granny's door

well I meant to put it under Ellie's

door

I thought of Mary and Granny scared me

so bad I took off like a scalded dog

yeah I remember that about a mile out of

town I got to thank him

what if granny flies home and he's

waiting for me so I was scared to go and

scared to stay

that night I snuck back and hidden a

root cellar

than ever since

I got good news for you shorty granny

never seen that proposal you wrote you

mean that

I told you she had just to scare some

sense into you go back home and behave

yourself Judd was saying you he's

running wild out here shorty chasing

these Hollywood women

it's true mayor

but I had four long weeks and had Root

Cellar to meditate and reflect on my

sins

I've done a lot of praying a lot of

repent you didn't considerable eating

too

and all I pray and repent and give to

fill our appetite as long as he was

filled with the spirit oh I would granny

left a couple of jugs in there

uh sneak a snort snack snooze go to

repentant again

[Music]

go to bad mouth and shorty thanks to him

you ain't gonna have no more trouble

with your Root Cellar Robert shorty

Claudine

well I'm glad to hear that you're

chasing robbers instead of women for a

change the Shorty's bended his ways

granny yeah he's repented give up Senate

got the spirit huh who told you

that's weird yeah

Hallelujah

hell now that shorty has cleared up

cleared up the mystery let's all get

some sleep tomorrow is another day oh

would it be all right if I hit the

sausages before I turned in I'm awful

hungry she'll

night granny good night

what do you think we ought to do about

shorty

well I'm in whittling on that shed and I

think I got the answer what is it

shorty you spent the best years of his

life running the Silver Dollar City

hotel 30 years or better

we got to talk him into buying that

hotel back from Mary Hershey

too late for that Mary sold out to over

in the Bradshaw

have Verna Bradshaw bought the Silver

Dollar City hotel there's talk she might

change the name to the Bradshaw Astoria

[Music]

whatever you do see I don't mention that

the granny that would set her wrong I

recollected granny and alverna had a few

run-ins back home they had one in the

lobby the hotel that was a Dandy

oh you little prune face

calling me a proof face why you got so

many wrinkles your face can hold a five

High rain

listen

I think your fair is about to begin and

y'all don't want to miss the opening

Square game

that's true I think I'll stroll over to

the Pavilion too bad Ellie took the

broom you could ride

whatever else you say about Alberta

she's a worker

she fixed up that hotel to where you

wouldn't know it one first prize in the

beauty contest

beauty contest

we had a campaign to spruce up Silver

Dollar City with a prize to the merchant

that added the most Beauty to the town

an alverna won

yeah she painted redecorated the whole

hotel following me one second how in the

world would you beautify a blacksmith

shop I left town

I suppose we get Alberta to sell our

hotel back to shorty not a chance she's

doing great she's pulling traveling

salesman they're clean from Branson and

Bug tussle well they say everything has

got its price Jed the only way sh**ting

get that hotel back is to marry alvarna

very high prize

stop and think a minute L Bernard make

sure he just the kind of wife he needs

especially if they run the hotel

together

there's one hitch shorty likes these

flashy Hollywood girl yeah and that

ain't Alvernon

what if we was to make sure he'd think

that Alberta had flashed up I might

since he's seen her laugh

hey

are you fell as good morning shorty

how'd you sleep alone shorty I was

just telling Jed about over in a

Bradshaw buying your hotel

hell Vernon bought it fixed it up so

pretty you wouldn't know it

hmm and like see that you know Verna won

a Silver Dollar City beauty contest uh

just a minute

something in my ear sounded like you

said alverna won the beauty contest

he did

she must have been the only one in it

oh shorty every woman in Silver Dollar

City was trying for first prize and they

don't Werner won it hands down going

away

don't surprise me none I always thought

Alberta had a lot to offer I've often

dreamed of being left alone on a desert

island with a hellburner I've had that

same dream

you must not remember El verner's good

as I thought

kid did you sure enough dream of being

alone on an island with alverna worst

nightmare I ever had well I just kept on

talking to Alberta Bradshaw at the

Silver Dollar City hotel

oh you play Ellie for second place

foreign

ER yep I told her I heard about her

fixing up the hotel and asked her if

she'd sell it to me what did she say she

said no she wouldn't

said business was good the hotel was

full of traveling salesman then I asked

her if it is true she wanted a beauty

contest you said it was

you see then I offered you a 200 profit

and she still said no

and we got to Dicken back and forth and

force it back and finally she said to me

shorty Callum she says

the only way you'll ever get your hands

on this hotel again is if you marry me

what did you say shorty Chad I thought

it over for a minute then I hit her with

them three little words

kissed my foot

well let's play checkers

[Music]

Ellie May did I ever tell you what a

striking resemblance you bear to El

Verna Bradshaw master

but it just come to me as I was sitting

here looking at those beautiful blue

eyes and perfect complexion thank you

Jed

ever notice how much Ellie favors

alverna well now do you mention it Bears

look-alikes built alike stew who's that

kid and a man El Verna

I won the first game Paul

y'all want some lemonade that's a great

idea darling

[Music]

did you say hello to me and El Vernon

with Bill the likes

to be twin sisters of course Ellie is

too young but alverne is that thing to

ripen to perfection

quick as we finish this tournament I

think I'll call her again there you are

Mr Kellum

thank you Bernie hi Ellie May

no jet I think I better make that call

right now what about the tournament I'm

forfeit you can play the eighth

good news shorty kellums is going back

to Silver Dollar City good news and good

written he's nothing but a girl chasing

jug sweet and little devil how come he's

leaving he's going home to marry over in

the Bradshaw oh that's poor sweet

innocent little angel ready to rock the

boat get through you get on the back of

the cement Pond take the brush off

Shirley's car yes sir Uncle Jeff then

put Shawty in it and push it off the

cliff

and he

did it's a heat more merciful than a

lingering death married to that vampire

bat of course that kind of talk Jed

she's a wicked woman when she was one

year old she bit her own brother

the youngins do that

ready

did Jed tell you I'm marinel Bernie

Bradshaw

he did

ain't you going to say nothing

I hope you ain't a bleeder

she uh she said she hopes you can feed

her that's no problem long's a fishing

lake I'll catch him until you cook them

well come on uh she had me a happy pack

oh no hurry up and it won't be here for

a couple hours Alberta's coming here

yeah she flying out right now and then

we drive in Las Vegas they get married

like that

what's the big hurry granny I'm marrying

a beauty queen I thought you was married

now Verna you didn't tell Granny about

an elvery winning the beauty contest I

was just gonna do that now why don't you

run down back of the cement Pond and

help get through to take the brush off

your car they'll burn the one hands down

go all the way

did he say hands down going away yep

I guess she could win in that position

always has been her best side

[Music]

well here we are Elder well I thought I

heard The Honeymooners honey Alberta

welcome welcome congratulations to both

of you thank you Mr clapping mayor

Heller hi declario Bernie you getting

younger and prettier every time I see

you oh what a beautiful bride you're

gonna make that Shorty's a lucky man and

smart too rushing her off to Las Vegas

for these Hollywood Playboys get a side

of it that's what I'm doing quicker to

clean the spark plugs sitting on the

brush for a month got old Lizzy to miss

it oh shorty can't that wait

alverna

I don't want nothing to stop us I'm

getting to Las Vegas in time that night

I'm just crazy mad for you honey

you mad in French

you drive any man wild but while

Shorty's fixing the car why don't you

come inside and say howdy to the family

now remember Jeb She's mine and don't

you try to steal her from me I promise

you too shed word of Honor

I'm gonna marry you beauty queen

prettiest girl I've ever seen she's my

loving ain't that King alferno is my

darling

[Applause]

well Gloria what are you doing here Miss

Hathaway sent me over with some papers

for Mr Clampett where have you been

uh I went underground first though oh I

missed you you cute little rascals when

are we going to have another date

uh well Gloria

I've got something to tell you

goodbye Miss Gloria hi Ellie Mae

favorite and give these paper

sure will you stay here now

oh where was we Gloria you said you had

something to tell me oh yeah real

important too well let's hear it dolls

tell glorious

you slipped my mind

oh I've got Miss Hathaway's car maybe if

we go for a drive you'll think of it

good idea

[Music]

invited me to visit such a long time

we're shorty he's probably under the car

fixing something

poor little darling he's worked himself

into a state of exhaustion he's asleep

in the back seat I'll drive and let him

rest

I'll crack her up for you

are you and sure to have fun in Las

Vegas oh we will we will I know when we

get there I'm gonna go absolutely eight

[Music]

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