09x05 - Don't Marry a Frogman

[bunniefuu]

The Beverly Hillbillies

ready what are you doing up again I want

to see if Ellie's home yet I told you

before stop worrying about Ellie but Jen

your only daughter's out with a sailor I

know that he ain't only a sailor he's a

frog man I know that too now going to

bed Ellie can take care of herself

foreign

thank you for a wonderful evening Mark

can't we just sit here and talk for a

while

see the light on in Granny's room I

reckon she's Whiting up farming I wish

granny had stopped worrying about me

being a frog man really seems to upset

her I reckon she figured it's kind of

dangerous being underwater so much

is that dangerous

estimating New Frontier the unexplored

depths of the ocean

I hope to show it to you soon

love to see it do you suppose I could

get Granny down there

got it she's awful scared of water

[Music]

he caught her in the Parlor

[Music]

I don't know quiet granny what's going

on in here I'm watching the early late

late monster movie have you ever seen

the Creature from the slimy ooze your

cousin Ellie's out with it

that Rascal just grabbed a beautiful

b*mb girl and now we don't know whether

to take her to his world at the bottom

of the swamp or to live in her world a

Park Avenue penthouse

there he goes he's dragging her down

into the slimy ooze hot dog lady and

dandy what a family days all hooked on

freaks

well that's the end of that one granny

now comes a semi-late late late monster

movie The Lizard that ate Philadelphia

I'm half worried out of my mind I gotta

have somebody to talk to your cousin

cousin Ellie is out with a naval fraud

man from the navel down he's a frog oh

look ready Yonder comes a vampire Batman

the green zombie the werewolf and the

mad scientist these are good guys

that you

granny

Ellie honey are you all right where's

the Frog man did he try and take you to

a swamp of course we'll run quick to the

kitchen kind of catering too rub

yourself good with it and then bury it

what what fur so you won't get warts

ready you leave that girl alone and go

to bed you want her to get warts

I want her to get some sleep and you too

did you have a nice evening Ellie oh

fine Dandy Paul walking me is going on a

picnic tomorrow fine get to bed now

what a family

his daughter's out with a frog did you

have a nice evening Ellie Paul

[Music]

hey Grant if you want to see the giant

pussycat that ate delicious that ate

Philadelphia no I don't

where are you going I'm gonna check the

weather signs it might rain tomorrow and

there won't be no picnic

of course they wouldn't be bothered with

ants he'd eat them

is that you mark

[Music]

what are you doing hanging around here

you go on home

or I'll get the giant pussycat to eat

you

thank you

it's gonna be a nice day tomorrow

hey Granny come on in I switched

channels and got an even better picture

The Wolfman marries Snow White

I'm gonna have nightmares as it is

hot dog there goes the whip

granny come in come in how long have you

been waiting ever since the Bank

building opened this morning I gotta

talk to somebody who's smart and you're

the smartest person I know well granny

that's very flattering oh although I

don't look too intelligent with this

raincoat and umbrella I thought it was

going to rain today well it's gonna be

nice they'll get to have their picnic

who's there Ellie May in that Navy Man

Mark Templeton oh

uh tell me granny what do you think of

Mr Templeton

what do you think of him well he seems

like a fine eligible young man good good

looking too then you ain't never been

swimming with him have you no why do you

ask never mind

what you don't know won't keep you awake

I had me some bad dreams last night what

about well mostly I dream that Ellie

married a frog

well not all frog the top half was man

sort of an aquatic centaur

what's that

well the centaurs half man and half

horse

man shakes that's worse than being half

frog

then there's a Seder Park man and heart

goat no oh yes Pan the child of Penelope

was goat from the waist down oh good

Heavens what did Penelope do for him

well there was nothing she could do only

Zeus could have changed him could you

get me that juice on the telephone he

sounds like quite a doctor

granny he exists only in Greek mythology

on Mount Olympus well if it's long

distance I'd be glad to pay for it no I

don't mean that don't make house calls

huh

definitely not too bad them old-time

Mountain doctors is the best I ought to

know I'm one myself hey that's right you

are

bye Golly Miss Kane I think I can cure

that frog man

well since he seems to exist only in

your nocturnal fantasies I would say

you're the only one who can cure them

I'll do it I'll make a potion a conjure

well as long as it brings sound sleep it

should be efficacious

I don't think I got any of that but I

can always stop at a drugstore

my name is Hathaway granny what a

pleasant surprise what do you do you're

not here to make a withdrawal are you no

I come to get some advice from Miss Jane

she's a smart woman oh you bet she is

she helped me solve a problem that's

been keeping me awake at night well good

I don't know what you pay her but she

deserves a race well I'll see that she

gets it it's a promise of course the

moment you leave here Miss Hathaway will

get a raise good

A promise is a promise

this is my race that's it

now let's get to work

[Music]

I thought you and Mark was going on a

picnic we are pop that's what I'm fixing

battles for uh honey uh why don't you

let granny fix him well she's been gone

all morning

besides or I can't have a tasting my

cooking

yeah I know well uh what do you make

well ask him what he liked and he said

spaghetti meatballs and garlic bread I

see I don't know how to make garlic

bread so I made garlic Donuts

you do is there a dry one taste my

spaghetti and my meatballs too I sure

will uh Ellie uh you know what go good

with this why

nice cool pickled paw paws from Down The

Root Cellar ah go fetch a jar thank you

the rest might have you on a man's

stomach

[Music]

[Music]

what do you think of my bills huh here

we are gonna see that your spaghetti and

meatballs is ever been as good as your

garlic Donuts

now you run upstairs and put on a dress

and get all prettied up for when Marco

well I gotta pack my picnic basket first

I'll do that you run alone

yes sir

and I sure am glad you like my cooking

it's outstanding

what's going on in here I've been

cooking picnic battles great

get this stuff out of here Jen I need my

stove in my kitchen don't worry I'm

gonna take this out and bury it well I'm

doing that you fix up a nice picnic

lunch from Mark and Elliott ain't got no

time I'm setting up a scientific medical

experiment can't you just throw together

a few sandwiches no I gotta sew together

a prescription

well Mark will be here in a minute

after work to do what kind

well I might do you know the difference

betwixty Centaur and a Sater

are you acquainted with a mountain

doctor of Olympus by the name of Zeus

did you ever hear a Penelope youngin Pan

the goat boy

hey Granny how about some videos don't

bother me I gotta make an anti-frog

serum but I'm starving and starve

outside this kitchen is off limits it's

a scientific Laboratory

[Music]

hey Uncle Jeff what you doing

fixing to bury a basket full of middles

and give them to me I'm starving help

yourself

Ellie May cooked them

bury him

[Music]

hey boy I got an ID

you know where to get spaghetti and

meatballs and such well sure big mama

nacarellis where the pizza goes round

and round in the sky a big mama Smiles

down at

if you ever fill up that basket with

spaghetti and meatballs and garlic bread

and everything that goes with it I'll do

it

and hurry back yes sir

[Music]

secret powders Yarns and Juice work for

me like Dr Zeus I have a newt hair of

the dog chew the part of him this frog

thank you

foreign

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

well I think you'll find your picnic

lunch today everybody's good

thank you

hi Mark

hello Ellie May

really

why don't you wear a dress Mark will

think you're a boy no way there's my

picnic basketball oh yeah let's see what

I do with that you wait right here I'll

find it

come on Jethro

come on potion hurry up Jethro hurry up

let's have the basket boy here you are

tired of food you're doing way much does

it heck it don't I must have gained 20

pounds you ate it oh yeah

well run hurry up get another basket no

thanks I ain't hungry

oh good

it's it's empty you can't throw a gobble

it up

[Music]

good quick drink this down what is it

never mind it'll make you feel better I

feel fine I always make you look better

your eyeballs are my bloodshot that's

just a little sinus condition and spend

so much time underwater well this will

cure that now drink it down but what is

it

do you want to be a frog man the rest of

your life well no but well in Bottoms Up

I don't like drinking anything do you

ever want to see my granddaughter again

I certainly do and do as I tell you

cheers

oh that's awful

awful good how do you feel do you feel a

little tingly in your feet and your legs

everywhere mark

I'm awful sorry but Jethro at all the

Italian medals for the picnic that's all

right Mr private we'll stop at Mama

Knack rallies and get some well Jethro's

on his way over there to do that right

now and uh Ellie went along to ride

shotgun so to speak

matter of fact I think I'll drive on

over to Mama naccarelli's and pick Ellie

up there well fine have a nice picnic

you're not gonna need this

[Music]

[Laughter]

[Music]

don't comedy Got Away now I won't know

if my potion worked or not

all right

it's not you

[Music]

for Heavens my potion works the wrong

way instead of old man I got all frog

yeah got a spot on it I gotta clean it

firm

excuse me

Touch of indigestion

I think let's take something for this

real soon

[Music]

it's a wonderful picnic Ellie I really

enjoyed it

how did I

but I'm sorry that you didn't get to eat

my cooking well maybe other times I hope

me too

would you like to go for a swim

I'd love to but I'm doing the Recruiting

Office in 10 minutes maybe I can get

away later do I do hugs though I'll do

my best

have you seen my coating cap I left them

on that bench oh Paul Green likely took

him inside well I'll pick him up another

time I've got to run

[Music]

I think this red potion will do it Mark

it's just a reverse of what I give you

before now open your mouth

swallow this down

oh this will taste better than that

green stuff I promise you come on now

open your mouth and swallow it down

what you doing now oh Jed I'm giving

Ellie's a frog some tonic he looks a

might pee kid and he have never known

you to take on so over one of Ellie's

Critters well this one's found a special

place in my heart Chad he's cute

you don't look very cute to me

foreign

you're back where's Mark well he's gone

Paul but I'm hoping you'll come back

oh he will darling he will I promise and

if I can't do it I'll get a hold of Dr

Zeus there's really no way to get in

touch with Zeus he was an ancient Greek

deity but no longer

passed on did he

well you might say that

well as long as the old fella had a rich

full life

well Miss Jane let me ask you this with

him gone how would a person go about

turning a frog into a man still having

bad dreams about frogs I don't pull this

off tonight's gonna be a news here well

of course there's a classic story about

the beautiful Maiden who kissed the Frog

and turned him into a handsome prince

bless you Miss Jane

I pull this off I'm Gonna Get You a mess

of frogs and you can kiss your way to

Paradise

ready

you here

Paul did she cook anything before she

left don't think so I'm getting better

desperate for bill is a Jethro well if

Mark don't come priest then I'll cook

you something oh he'll come uh I just

know he will

[Music]

in here granny hey mate you got it

Chad would you leave us alone please

when are you going to cook some fiddles

you go to the kitchen and wait I'll be

right there

Ellie May you gotta do me a favor well

granny I'm expecting Mark to come back

any minute he will he will if you just

do as I ask you what is it take that

frog out of the cage and kiss him

kiss him what fur oh please don't ask

questions darling just give them a big

sweet kiss

look at the granny sweetheart if you

ever want to see Mark again do as I say

take that frog out of the cage and kiss

him

all right I won't look

come in

oh hi Mark are we going swimming sorry

Ellie I had to get back to recruiting

office

or I did oh well

yeah where'd the Frog come from oh it's

Granny she wants me to kiss it kiss it

what for she won't tell me

maybe she thinks it'll turn into a

prince who needs competition

glory be it works

[Music]

weeknights on Hallmark watch great

stories I'm an angel and witness the

Miracles Touched by an Angel weeknights

at eight on the Hallmark Channel the

Hallmark Channel mystery movie Double

feature to solve this case are you

talking about revenge here is the

question Samantha Kinsey will have to

get in tune with the k*ller

looking for something Kelly Martin stars

in Mystery Woman tomorrow night at nine

right after Jane Doe on Hallmark Channel

this has been a film waste present