09x11 - Welcome to the Family

[bunniefuu]

The Beverly Hillbillies

[Music]

come on in shorty I'm going to call that

doctor that turns water Critters back

into people

I missed your room for you I might catch

cold that cloth is getting worse

question about nobody to blame but

yourself

I warned you not to let that frog man

get you in the water

and just lucky he didn't turn you into a

frog like he's done the other

hello

can I speak to Dr klingner please

oh mercy

he is

well thanks anyway goodbye

well you're in for trouble now shorty

kellums the doctor is out of town

well you sat up here at the table and

I'll fetch you some hospitals

haha

smells like corn bone hog jowls and

turnip greens how soon is nobody gets

fed until I take care of that poor

little fella over young

what you doing up at the table waiting

for hot noodles

Mark feeds him raw fish you can tell

that five feet away

but from now on he gets treated decent

you don't feed our kind of beetles to an

animal like that don't call him an

animal that's what Marco it's marked

this should be called an animal his name

is shorty

right fit name

well let's get the bathrobe off him no

you don't he ain't sitting in my kitchen

jay bird naked he's supposed to wear

clothes it's a water Critter thanks to

your friend the Frog man well Mark says

when we go to farm in the ocean Critters

like him will be Dandy little workhorses

my Templeton is an inhuman monster I'm

pretty who's his next victim gonna beat

me what's he gonna do turn me into a

turtle

you ain't making sense I'm going to take

this little fella back down to see me in

town you keep your hands off of him and

get out of my kitchen but Mark says he

belongs in the water you send Mark in

here to see me I got a few words to say

to him all righty don't fly off the hill

you send him in here I ate no mood to be

crossed okay okay

oh shorty why didn't you listen to me

and stay out of the water now look at

you you poor little Goomer you can't go

back to Silver Dollar City and run a

hotel looking like that

what you doing with the seal in the

kitchen I don't know but she wants you

in there too oh looks like I'm gonna

catch a d*ck I'm afraid too you want me

to go in with you no see it was my idea

I'll face the music oh ain't likely to

get middles till you do oh well let me

give you a little tip she has named The

Seagull shorty thanks I remember

[Music]

hello Granny

hi shorty

hmm something sure smells good in here

well it ain't tell you that

shorty you shouldn't be in the house

I'll put you back in a pump yep

[Music]

that's my raw fish for him

now let me tell you this he ain't going

back to the cement Pond and he ain't

eating no more raw fish

well Granny if you feel that way I'll

just take him down drop him in the ocean

now hear this sailor boy I'm going from

a shotgun and when I come back shorty

callums better be sitting in this chair

and I mean shorty kellums himself and

not this poor looking pitiful critter

well I'll do my best

you heard her shorty let's go find the

other shorty

I wouldn't go in there yet shorty ain't

fiddles ready they might be but granny

ain't

shorty come here quick

oh

sit down at the table and hurry I don't

want to eat like this 40 please you're

gonna be sitting at that table before

Granny gets back I ain't washed up yet

sit here I will be

I wish I know what this is all about

oh Shirley darling I'm so happy to see

you

don't squeeze me too hard granny I'm

awful holler I ain't at since morning

shorty I want to give you the greatest

meal you ever had in your whole life

Hallelujah it'll make you forget what

that frog man done to you you mean Mark

Mark the monster he ain't no monster

he's a nice Feller shorty have you

forgot the terrible thing that he's done

to you

he didn't do nothing terrible

in fact is Granny he's An Officer and a

Gentleman and I like him

you do huh yes Mom now how about that

meal you promised me okay

area

I don't think I'd call this the best

meal I ever had

[Music]

well I'm glad to hear you're out of that

stretch I can miss dream

now uh when I come down to take out my

money it won't upset you all over again

will it of course it won't upset me I'm

perfectly fine that's straight Jack I

was Mr drysdale's invention oh he's a

clever fella that fit you real good

oh he's clever all right he's my number

one Nemesis ah I'm glad to hear your

friend I'll see you down the bank

you going to bed yet

that's right Jordy and we'll take out

some money I'll drive you I'm gonna take

out something myself

[Music]

foreign

[Music]

Excuse Me Miss Hathaway

here's the certified check you ordered

for 48 million dollars charged against

Mr Clampett's account thank you Miss

Gordon this is a moment of great Triumph

for me what do you mean a similar check

was issued earlier but to keep Mr

Clampett from using it that unprincipled

scoundrel had two guards forced me into

a straight jacket and gagged me

and then he told Mr Clapper that the

idea of he's withdrawing all that money

had driven me mad what a terrible man

indeed he is I shall take great Delight

in watching him scream and yell and

climb the walls and fury in frustration

can I watch too oh be my guest

Chief it gives me great pleasure to

announce that Mr Jed Clifford is on his

way to this Temple of greed to withdraw

48 million dollars really yes and I want

you to know that this is a great moment

for me

for me too Miss Hathaway I tried to tell

you that honesty is the best policy

what'd you say

as I was driving to the bank this

morning I almost had a collision with a

huge truck

suddenly

my whole life flashed before me

I saw in terrifying detail all the mean

and Petty things I've done

the schemes I had to get money the lies

I've told the people I've wronged

chief

I lived again those many times when you

counseled the course of Truth and

justice

but I chose greed and Aris you pointed

to the high road but

I took the logo oh I said to myself

I said Melbourne put your house in order

you never know when you'll be summoned

to stand before that great Bank examiner

in the sky

and so I say to you Miss Hathaway

and bear witness Miss Gordon I'm deeply

sorry for my transgressions against you

and deeply grateful for your never

failing loyalty and friendship

I think you deserve a reward

by everybody saying this glorious

transformation takes place in you that

there's Awakening to the power of Truth

daughter

as always

your sentiments are noble and unselfish

but I insist you accept this token of my

gratitude

it's little enough

take the rest of the day off and go out

shopping

[Music]

haha do you like working him his garden

certainly do yeah would you like to

continue working here oh indeed I would

fine fine

just for you oh you'll find a nurse's

uniform in that dressing room there put

it on

a nurse's uniform yes when Mr Clapper

arrives you're going to be my keeper

I don't understand oh you will the

second job is to stop payment on Ms

Hathaway's check Mr Drysdale I'm

terribly disillusioned I'll make a note

of it but I I thought you had changed

what gave you that idea well you said

your whole life flashed before you it

did I loved it now get in there

is that you Mr Greendale

[Music]

I am the emperor of France

Josephine

who is this man

well you know me I'm Jed Clampett are

you from Wellington oh sure I'm from bug

tussle

you're not a member of my staff

they're all here

well no Mr dry dealer I am Napoleon

Bonaparte

well okay Mr Bonaparte just come down

here to draw out my money no

just when my poor armies are retreating

across the Frozen steps of Russia well

but my brave men are freezing they're

starving they need food they need

clothing oh please don't withdraw your

support now they'll perish I don't want

to starve or freeze nobody oh thank you

all of France thank you

this

is the highest decoration my country can

bestowed

thank you

I think I better be going wait I have

another medal for you well you keep it

Mr grisdale it looks real good on you

[Music]

hey honey watch out you're gonna bring

somebody it won't be nobody in this

family they ain't got nothing to bring

put all my stuff in the truck you're

driving me to the airport

where you going man

I'm going back home to the Hills

man there's men and Fishes fish and they

stay that way please don't go back to

the hills granny I got to jezreal I

can't stay around and watch Ellie May

being married to that frog man and there

don't seem no way that I can stop it I'm

begging you Granny please don't go

oh

bless you boy I didn't think nobody

would care but I care if you go I'll die

no you won't oh yes I will I'll have to

eat Ellie's cooking

you're all heart boy

put my stuff out

Ellie's cooking

you have just given me the greatest idea

I'm always coming up with great ideas

what was this one and never mind where's

Ellie well she's out in the kitchen with

Mark are they doing the dishes

oh hey granted what was that great idea

I come up with take my bags up to my

room

[Music]

my

don't you look handsome

and here's pretty little Lily made in

her apron

I declare you to uh the picture of

domestic Bliss

well we thought the least we could do is

wash the dishes yes ma'am after that

look who's calling and who a wonderful

cook as if you ain't never tasted any of

her riddles I never have

you're a joke no

Ellie May am I to understand that you

have never cooked a meal for this man

you always tell me to stay out of the

kitchen

until the right man come along and here

he is now show him what you can do

how about a cook stopping for you

tonight Mark wonderful what would you

like well why don't you make him one of

your out of this world meatloaf that's

her Paul's favorite

well passes you can't eat it you can't

beat it that's what she says all right

well what else should I make why don't

you make them some of them great big

Donuts I love donuts oh

hers ain't to be believed

it sounds like I'll be in heaven tonight

oh we won't let you eat that many

foreign

[Music]

hi kid

shorty what you doing with Mr dry Dale

nurse when I went looking for you found

her and fetched her home for swim

actually Mr Clampett I came to give you

this

noises my check for 48 million Mr

Drysdale must be all right good as ever

well he's as good as ever

but I wouldn't call that all right Jake

you're making Nellie's got a swimming

suit and fit this little doll I reckon

so come on here

you will stay for a swim won't you Liz I

might as well shorty i'm gonna get fired

anyway how come

Mr Drysdale doesn't know about that

check

all right Miss Gordon you can change out

of your nurse's uniform

this Garden

dear Napoleon welcome to Waterloo the

check and I are at Mr Clampett's

Josephine

oh

k*ller that's right shorty show off for

your new girlfriend come on

I see you've run home another seal yeah

shorty you're getting Lonesome all right

he's gonna hit the roof no she won't she

likes me now granny does yeah we're

great friends

since when since it changed out of my

uniform

and that done it it sure did she walked

into the kitchen saw me dressed like

this and we were instant buddies with a

fed their own beetle

this is really my lucky day Ellie's

cooking supper for me whose idea was

that brownies uh-oh

something wrong not yet granny said

Ellie's cooking is not to be believed

she right about that I'll see you

directly

[Music]

you ready Liz

how's it going in there you ready for

your swim gorgeous

no I'm sorry granny I I knocked on the

wrong door you sure did you ain't

getting me in that man Pond Randy I

thought you was my date I wouldn't date

you if you was the last man on Earth

listen granny

Lewis it's enough to stay on dry land

that's your bad luck but don't try to

change me into no water Critter I

wouldn't do that and quit trying to ruin

me into the car with that sweet talk

that's who I was talking to he under

comes my date I'm ready shorty

she's your date that child why you look

like her father I do you must be a

handsome Rascal Elizabeth this year's

granny she knows your father

really don't pay any attention to him

and don't go in the water with him it's

dangerous oh I'm an excellent swimmer

yeah come on Leah

honey it ain't that when he gets wet he

turns into the funniest looking little

water groomer you've ever seen

I don't care I think he's kind of cute

wait a minute

is that don't scare you listen to this

there's a great big frog man down there

really and if you get into the water

with him you know what will happen

well I've got a pretty good idea I used

to date one

come on Liz

coming shorty the whole thing sounds

real groovy

[Music]

well here it is Paul I'm out of this

world meatloaf

would you look at that how come you

didn't make it around

well it's for Mark and he's specially

fond of Meatballs but granny said make a

meatloaf so I made it in the shop

Mighty clever you Ellie oh thank you

Paul but she just dying for a case yeah

but I'm gonna fight it

excuse me I gotta bet some things out of

the road cell fine

[Music]

what'd you say

I said holy

all right I'll hold it

but what is it is that Meatloaf you had

Ellie make for Mark to eat only I'm

gonna make you eat it

oh you wouldn't do that would you Jen I

want on one condition you make another

one it looks just like that only good

well what will I do with this one get

rid of it and another thing tell our

company that supper will be a little

late tonight

thank you

you're a hard man Chick bro

[Music]

get rid of this for me what is it Granny

it's a meatball

it is shorty and Elizabeth up at the

cement Pond yes ma'am they didn't go in

the water oh yes ma'am they's changing

now oh mercy I'm too late

Elizabeth

where are you

sorry why did you have to do it again

and Elizabeth I pleaded with you you

were so pretty now look at you

oh surely you old rooster can't you get

your mind off of that for one minute

hello Granny I'm looking for Mr climate

what kind of a get up is that oh never

mind I have to see Mr Clampett about a

check well he's around here someplace

I'll find him well have you seen

anything of a beautiful brunette

secretary from my bank is your name

Elizabeth that's it where is she

swimming with Shorty

come over here Elizabeth your boss wants

to see you

this is Elizabeth

ain't she a mess

you remember shorty kellums he runs a

hotel back in Silver Dollar City oh yeah

wow

[Music]

well now it's time to say goodbye to Jed

and all his skin they would like to

thank you folks for kind of dropping in

they're all invited back next week to

this locality to have a heaping helping

of their Hospitality

hillbilly that is sell his Bell take

your shoes off y'all come back now here