09x15 - The Grun Incident

[bunniefuu]

come and listen to a story about a man

named Jed a poor Mountaineer barely kept

his family fed and then one day he was

sh**ting at some food and up through the

ground

or that is Black Gold Texas Tea

well the first thing you know old Jim's

a millionaire the folks said can't move

away from there said California is a

place you want to be so deluded up the

trucks

that it is swimming pools movie stars a

Beverly hillbilly

foreign

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that's sleeping on the beach is for the

birds

it's one thing to be woke up in the

morning with the Sun hitting in the eye

and it's another thing to be woke up

with the tides slapping in the face the

next time them grunions want to invade

the beach they can happen

we all had a miserable night we got a

long drive home and ain't no use

reaction yeah I suppose you're right

y'all think you had a miserable night on

the beach I spent the night in the ocean

well it's your own fault boom trying to

swim to the island of grunt yeah just

cause there ain't nothing there but

women

well can you think of a better reason

I'd have made it too if I hadn't run

into that doggone old shark sure

I hear they bite's pretty vicious oh he

got in the first lick then I grabbed

that Rascal and chomped him more ways

than crowd lays in a barrel

you sure that there was no man in that

bunch of runyons that Miss Jane caught

oh yes ma'am I've seen him it was all

girl Christmas I've seen them too granny

Miss Jane was leading them down the

beach and they was chanting their w*r

crying well else from Grand we want our

place in the sun I've heard your Glee

Club I don't need a solo

how'd you pick this stupid name Grant

because it epitomizes your dishonesty

you invented that mythical Island just

to trick the clavics into keeping their

money in your bank and it worked well we

are hanging you with your own rope

that'll be the day now clear out of here

oh sheep but please negotiate with us In

fairness and honesty and good faith in a

pig's eye

you mean you refuse to even listen to

our grievances what Graven says I'm a

doll to work for sweetheart a pussycat

no let's face it Chief you have tried

every dirty rotten trick in the book no

I haven't I still have a few left very

well if you want more

let it begin yeah it began last night at

Malibu when you march those nuts up and

down the beach we aren't the girls room

down

take a break I'm still negotiating do

you need any helpless Hathaway yes would

you come up please Helen

we insist upon higher wages and

hospitalization you keep insisting and

you're going to need hospitalization

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look at all them girl grunions this is

just as good as swimming to the aisle on

the ground

who's that looks like a goon squad

Drysdale must have hired strike Breakers

hey she's talking to me and growing

again

you were right it's a goon squad the

head goon just got Oola

dad this is the girl from

growing you maybe turned loose last

night well shirt or loose again ah

please let me keep her put it down

two whiz how would you like a karate

chop swell I'm starving

get back on the truck and behave

yourself but she's gonna feed me do as I

tell you

I'm sorry about the boy I'd like to see

any self today but I'm afraid he is are

you people g*ons no we use the clown I'm

Kidd the boy here is jestro Granny Kelly

me hi howdy grunt girls y'all still

prisoners I'll say we are and this bank

is our prison

well we've seen you walking around out

here this morning was you doing your

exercises I'm afraid that's about all

it'll amount to now let's not get too

pessimistic maybe Miss Hathaway will get

better conditions for us miss Janus

shook up your cause has she yes bless

her heart she's trying the best she can

to see that we get decent treatment the

show that sound like Miss Jane yes but

she won't get anywhere with old Drysdale

oh so he's the one that's keeping you in

prison here in his band who else and he

ain't treating you right is he he's

treating us rotten well girls you tell

Miss Gene that when conditions get too

bad she's welcome to fetch you all up to

our place we got lots of room and it's a

good safe place it's got a great big

wall around it and if you come fetch

along some of them karate chops

we'll attend Miss Hathaway

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what's the news to the old sl*ve driver

give in well not yet but Helen and I

submitted a list of grievances he's

studying them and he's going to give us

his answer by the way we're all invited

to the Clampetts really yes they were

just here

there is the key to our success Mr

Drysdale would do anything to keep in

good with them if he doesn't give us a

fair answer we'll all meet in the

parking lot and go to the closets

okay girl here's your answer turn on the

water Charlie

we'll be in the parking lot after

getting away give me all the pressure

you've got

that's the way to handle troublemakers

Charlie you wouldn't really hit those

girls with all that water would you of

course not that stuff costs money

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I think I hear the phone ringing this

room you unload a truck and stop arguing

with the women folks about them grunt

girls

I still say it's wrong for Mr Geisel to

keep imprisoners in his bank

granny these from grun he's the enemy

well he must try to made a Miss Jane

wouldn't be taking their side he

probably locks him up in the vault he

makes him tote around bags of money and

washed an iron dirty dollar bills make

some lift them big old heavy mortgages

and shine nickels and dimes from Silver

Palace well I wish they was here so they

could help me unload the truck and Fry

up a pan of them karate chops shame on

you you're as bad as Mr Drysdale but

granny these prisoners are w*r but I

still girls and supposed to be traded

nice cause why because they are gentle

and delicate creatures says who

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how can you lay there taking a nap while

the women folks unload the truck Uncle

Jed get up from there boy

you're gonna be ashamed of yourself

oh what's the matter with your back my

gentle delicate girl cousin locked her

broken he provoked her Jed that's right

Paul well anyway that was Miss Jane on

the phone she's fixing to bring them g*n

girls over here

they won't have to stay in the clutches

of that mean or Mr Drysdale yeah well

you can't foil them too much uh after

all there was Prisoners of w*r watch it

Uncle Jeff you like to get you head

handed to you get your own big truck

around back and unload it

I can understand Mr dry jail holding The

Grudge he was shot up something awful on

that island of the ground

he stubbed his toe I think he was here

when he come by he was hobbling on

crutches and managed up head to foot it

was nothing

I took a few sn*per b*ll*ts going in

stopped a burst from a Machine g*n Nest

caught an 88 in the chest but I kept

going

was until I stepped on the land mine

that I blacked out and came to in a Navy

Hut

Jesus he was hurt awful bad man is cry

babies Ellie you could blowed up like

that he's entitled to whip for a month

the man was in the Navy He was ordered

to go whose side are you on Jed try to

see both sides

a very good job of it well let's not go

to scrap and twitched ourselves we'll

talk it all out quick as Miss Jane gets

here with a run girl

get this I saw we buy this from the

women's live move and we've added a few

touches of our own we call it our

grandmother oh get out of here all right

girls we tried on to the clappers

the closets invited us to use their

mansion as our headquarters and they

shall hear the full story of your

tyranny and cruelty full of me

I'm an old softy

I'm a softy with that whip in your head

oh that's not a whip that's at least for

my dog Robert come boy here's your knees

oh please Miss Hathaway bring these

lovely ladies up to my office and we can

talk we're through talking that's right

we'll sing ah where are the girls from

drowning we want our place in the sun I

hold the derry-o and drizzles On The Run

attitude catchy little tune to think

well girl shall we give him another

chance no don't trust him down with the

male chauvinist Pig oh come on girls

give the old piggy another chance please

let's talk what do we talk about

raises bonuses vacation with Faye Health

and Welfare pension and profit sharing

you name it and we'll discuss it Eagle

opportunities

with equal pay for equal jobs

chance I guess so

oh that's better that's better now

everybody's beautiful girls in the

banking world all girls sweetheart

lovely when you get there make yourself

at home I'll be just a moment golly

when they're all in my office lock the

door and shut off the phone

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but you're crazy you're out of the

hospital yes I I'm not supposed to be

but I had to see you what's that thing

oh that's a genuine grunt mobile from

the island of Guan I captured it from

the Invaders

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how do you get this thing here from

Grime ah they uh flew it over

them grunions is poor Sailors but if

they can fly this thing they won pilot

well when I say they flew you're right

they're they're clever people especially

the women and that's what I come up here

to tell you about they brainwashed Miss

Hathaway

done what brainwashed her it's like

hypnotizing or taking control of her

mind yes they've turned her against me

fill their mind with hate when I got to

say that uh them grunt girls ain't too

fond you're judging by what they got

wrote on the side of the airplane

well look who's up and around you see

Jen I told you he wasn't heard bad maybe

he's a fast healer

well actually I should still be in

surgery but when I heard about the

trouble I jumped off the operating table

and rushed to the bank

the girls and brainwashed Miss Jean I

don't know

if ever a girl didn't have a dirty brain

it's her

how did Mr Drysdale hello Ellie what's

this thing Paul yeah that's what you

call a genuine grunt mobile from the

island to grunt I'll go fetch Jethro I

bet he'd like to see this Miss Jane and

the grunt girls in there no they're at

the bank I suppose you've got them

locked in the vault no I didn't think of

it no I wouldn't think of it granny come

look at here it's this

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he treats them poor girls worse than we

thought Mr dry deal you had not a step

on a secretary that's just a caricature

it don't make no difference what she

does

what you haven't stuck on her neck and

hit her with a whip Mr Drysdale girls is

gentle delicate creatures

yeah they ought to be treated nice

baloney

what did you say I said baloney

don't fling him he's prettier my age let

me fling him

distracted what happened looks like the

work of my gentle delicate girl cousin

don't worry about him Jen he's a fast

team get up from an operating table he

can get up from there

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sorry girls the door is still locked the

phone is still dead and our grandma

being is still gone I'll bet anything

Drysdale took it huh

it's a question about it is the club

it's right now telling them lies about

us wait till I get my hands on that rat

fink I'll give him such a karate chop

I'm sure we all share your feeling of

anger and frustration but violence is

not the answer maybe not but what is oh

well so somehow I have got to reach the

clappers and refute his story now come

on let's think

like dune buggies in the parking lot

but how can you get to it

through the window

it's too high to jump

yes we can't climb down

well we will have to improvise a rope

out of what

clothing is all we have well you're

welcome to my mini skirt but it would

take 30 of them to reach the ground

40.

Dry still paid his decent salaries we'll

be wearing midis and Maxes well we'll

just have to use what we have all right

girls take it off for when humans live

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how do you feel Mr Mr Dale

oh a little better I I still have a

terrific headache well maybe it's a

short pillar

is that better yeah

well

listen how do you feel

terrible now don't you worry I've got

just the thing for you official perk you

up now open your mouth and swallow this

I told you it would perk you up what was

that stuff it tasted like turpitized

that's what it was

[Applause]

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Mr dry do you well I got him on his feet

yet good yeah he's up and running around

like a spring chicken Miss Gene and the

girls from girl ain't showed up yet you

know I'm getting worried about them

prisoners dead old Rises probably got

them chained up in a dungeon I don't

hardly think so well I'm going down to

the bank and see for myself

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well

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girls have gone we who are still dressed

salute you and many thanks to you all

for your contribution yes never before I

have so many peeled off so much for so

few and a special thanks to you Oola you

gave your all

oh I guess that means good luck in

Swedish no it means please somebody turn

the heat up

well we're off to the climates to slay

Drysdale the Dragon

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[Applause]

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we shall return

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all right Helen

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thank you ladies and gentlemen for your

kind attention be sure to catch our next

show when my partner here will dive 14

stories into a cup of tepid tea

[Applause]

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what's going on here two girls just

climbed out that window and down those

clothes

well that's Mr drysdale's office he puts

on a pretty good show hey anybody else

coming down no we can't we're not

dressed and we're locked in I know

that girl's help is it coming

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hey this is a wild bank I think I'll

open an account

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there's our grandma Bailey's still here

we've got him trapped Helen gird

yourself a battle I'm awful Sorry Miss

Gene didn't get here with them grunt

girls I was hoping to hear both sides of

the story there's only one side my side

the right side I wonder what happened to

them Bella were afraid to face me and

have you learn the truth

they're not only subversive

troublemakers

they're cowards

they've opened this door

they are a run for your life they're

dangerous he said it was coward but it's

two against one

you're going to get what's coming to you

you you miserable thing don't you dare

talk to Mr clapping like that I'll

protect you sir Mr clever we welcome the

opportunity to have you hear the truth

yes don't listen to them they'll

brainwash you let me hear their side of

the story it's nothing but a subversive

pack of Lies they're trying to undermine

the American way of life all we're

trying to do is to get you to pay us

decent wages and give us decent working

conditions you see I told you there was

subversive

see she attacked a wounded matter in

their Vicious Fishes

Mr graduate will you please let me hear

what these girls have to say Thank you

Mr Clapton now first of all like what's

going on here well granny I'm trying to

get both sides of the grunt situation Mr

Drysdale ain't making it easy I suggest

we eject him from the premises good idea

now hold on girls I'm a doctor this man

is my patient and nobody touches him but

me thank you doctor thank you I'm a sick

man

the sickest

Mr clydesdale's going back to his bank

under my tail

oh that run mobile will make a Dandy

ambulance will you drive us but granny I

don't know the whole story yet I do I'll

tell it to you later there's a surprise

ending

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all right Mr Drysdale hop out no come on

equal treatment for men and women that's

what he's gonna have

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thank you

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who was that that's the president of

this bank I think I'll close my account

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well now it's time to say goodbye to Jet

and all his kin they would like to thank

you folks for kindly dropping in you're

all invited back next week to this

locality to have a heaping helping of

their Hospitality

hillbilly that is set a spell take your

shoes off don't come back now here

this has been a film wise presentation

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