01x13 - Doggie Day-Care

[bunniefuu]

[beeping]

Oh, no.
This can't be right.

According to my organizer,

I'm a loser!

[beeping]

Yep.

I'm totally free
this weekend.

[grunts]
You?

You are totally free?

Nothing? I find that
hard to believe.

Oh! Problem solved!

You're going to Festapalooza.

How do you know that?

Festapalooza Saturday.

I didn't know it was this weekend.

There's gonna be, like,
50 bands there.

Festa...
Festapalooza!

No way! Festapalooza is legendary.

Murray Van Peltin
stir-fries his guitar on stage.

[imitates electric guitar]

And then serves it to the needy.

It was crazy!

How do you know that?

Huh?

Well, the concert's
not till Saturday.

How would you know
what happens?

Um...

Phil gets his tenses
confused when he's tired.

Sometimes he uses
the past tense,

sometimes he uses
the future tense.

Sometimes
he's just tense.

I'm hoping that Murray,
you know,

stir-fries his guitar...

On stage...

Because as we know...

That would be really
good for the needy.

So, I wonder how much
tickets are.

100 bucks.

How do you know this?

That guy is good.

I could have used him
during my ceramics quiz.

♪ Meet a boy named Phil ♪

♪ And his family ♪

♪ On vacation from
The 22nd century ♪

♪ Got a rented time machine
And they're on their way ♪

♪ To a time way, way, way
Back in the day ♪

-♪ So now he's Phil ♪
-♪ Phil ♪

♪ Phil of the future ♪

♪ Keeping it together
Just as best as he can ♪

♪ Phil ♪

-♪ Phil ♪
-♪ Phil of the future ♪

♪ He's a 22nd century man ♪

♪ 22nd century man ♪

♪ On a holiday through history ♪

♪ But the final destination
Was a mystery ♪

♪ 'Cause something
On the time machine had blown ♪

♪ So they ended up right here
In our time zone ♪

-♪ So now he's Phil ♪
-♪ Phil ♪

♪ Phil of the future ♪

♪ Never knew in history
Just where he would land ♪

-♪ Phil ♪
-♪ Phil ♪

♪ Phil of the future ♪

♪ He's a 22nd century man ♪

-♪ Phil ♪
-♪ Phil of the future ♪

♪ He's a 22nd century man ♪

Hey, Dad?

I'm pretty sure
the hoses in this century

aren't
thought-activated.

You gotta actually
squeeze the handle.

Thanks a load,
smarty trousers.

See, every day
at this time

an ill-mannered dog drops by

and leaves a fresh present
on our lawn.

Today, I'm gonna let him
know how I feel about that.

Gotcha.

So, while we're waiting,

any chance I could borrow
100 bucks to see a concert?

Festapalooza, huh?

Yeah, you saw the skywriter?

Yeah, I was trimming
my nose hairs

in the backyard.
I looked in the mirror,

and I saw it. I thought it said
Azoolapatsef.

Anyway, sorry, son.

You gotta earn that
money on your own.

[dog barking and yelping]

Aw, nut sticks!
He did it again!

I hate cleaning up
after this hound.

Hey, Dad...

I'd be happy to
clean it up for you.

Really?

For 100 bucks.

2 bucks?

You got a deal, mister.

[cash register clings]

I don't know why people have
so many dogs around here.

That's what dogs do,
you know.

Dog...dog doo.

[laughs]

Pleasure doing
business with you.

You, too. Thank you.

No.

Thank you.

I think you just gave me
a great idea.

Uh...

Honey!

[squeals]

I got it! I got it!

Whoo! Whoo!

Hey, Berwick.

I'm still not seeing how
playing catch with yourself

is an olympic sport.

Nana says...

That if setting the table
was in the Olympics,

I'd take the gold.

Yay!

[Debbie]
Twistie, twist...

Diffy goes back...

Finished!

To the wall!

[snap]

-Pim!
-Whoa!

Aah!

Pim!

Oh, cloudy skies!
I hurt my Pimsy!

Nope. I'm good.

Swell, 'cause if
you were hurt,

you'd have to miss
the rest of gym class!

Nope! I'm damaged!

Girl down!
Girl down!

If it turns out
I injured you in any way,

I'll never
forgive myself!

Whatever.
We're out of gym.

I--I--
I mean it, Pim.

I'll carry
your books.

I'll hold
your food tray.

You won't need to
lift a finger

until that ankle
is healed.

Now that you mention it,
I'm feeling pretty bad.

They may have to
helicopter me

to one of those fancy
ankle hospitals.

[sirens in distance]

Hello?

Is--is there
any visible blood

or nasty ouchies?

Thankfully, no, Nurse Krinsky.

Oh, good. Whew.

You know how queasy I get.

Ok, Pim, I have to
go to class now.

You be strong now,
you hear?

It's so hard to be strong
when you feel so very weak!

[sighs]

What a brave
little soldier!

[sniffles]

I hate these
X-ray thingies.

They give me the willies.

You're fine.

[sighs]

I gotta get another job.

You're free to go.

I'm sure your friend Debbie
will be happy to hear you're ok.

Well, we can't have
Debbie happy, now can we?

Why not?

Debbie likes to be happy.

She put smiley faces on
all my tongue depressors.

Oh, isn't that sweet?

♪ Ba-bing ♪

Mama just hatched
herself a plan.

[Pim straining]

Sorry I'm late, teach.

I narrowly escaped death.

P.B. And J!

I feel horrible!

Here, Pim, let me
help you to your seat.

No, no.

I've got to get
the hang of this myself.

[groans]

Darnsies! I'm so uncoordinated!

Here, let me get that.

Don't you worry
about a thing, Pim.

Until you're healed,
I am at your service.

So, what's this business
idea of yours?

All right.

What's the one thing that
Pickford is bustling with?

Tomatoes.

Tomatoes, and...

Dogs! Huh?

Little ones, big ones,
skinny ones, fat ones.

Hairy ones, bald ones,
small ones, tall ones.

Sorry. I thought we were
playing a word game.

And what's the one thing
that all dogs have in common?

[gasps]
They...

You know. Ugh.

Exactly!

At least once a day!

And all owners hate to scoop.
That's where we come in.

We do the job that
no one wants to do.

Ok, but can't we offer
more service than that?

More service?

Phil!

I can't just go to a dog's house
and not play with them.

Fine.

We are a full-service
doggy day care.

See, the way I figure it,

we can have those festapalooza
tickets in a couple of days.

-[brakes screech]
-Hey, guys.

I just got my ticket.

Oh, are you guys still
coming to the concert?

Absolutely.

Hey, we just started
a doggy scooping business.

Want to join?

And...

I'm out.

It's not just poop!

We're full service!

Hey, her loss, right?
We're gonna have fun.

We'll be our own bosses.

We'll be out in the fresh...

Almost fresh air!

Which reminds me, I actually got Curtis
to do some of the dirty work.

Hey, C-man!

[chuckles]

[speaks gibberish]

I think it just may be
his calling.

Hey, big guy!

[chuckles]

[dog whimpers]

Thank you.

-[grunts]
-[chuckles]

[dogs barking]

[dog barking]

[snarling]

[grunts]

[chuckles]

Aah.

[speaks gibberish]

Ok, that's close enough.

Is that fluffy enough for you?

Could be fluffier.

Say no more.

You need to be relaxed
in order to heal.

I'll find you the fluffiest pillow
of them all!

[laughs]

Hey, Pim.
What happened to you?

Oh, this.

Uh...

Debbie wants to be a nurse
when she grows up,

so I let her bandage me.
As practice.

Oh, well...

That's awfully nice of you.

Helping friends
reach their goals...

That's why I was
put on this earth.

Say, Debbie,

what do you think
of this ingrown hair I have here?

I think it's cute.

Hey, Debs,

you know,
all this being in pain

is making me thirsty.

Score me a root beer, will ya?

Absolutely.
Anything you need.

Oh! And now that
you mention it,

my Spanish homework
needs doing.

Know what I mean, slappy?

[laughs]

[Phil]
This is Mad Max's house.

His owner said
he'd be locked inside.

Why do you think
they call him Mad Max?

'Cause he sells electronics at
rock-bottom prices.

"Beware of the dog."

"It's a big, mean dog.

Chomp, chomp."

[squeak]

[thud]

Uh...ahem.

"I'd turn back
if I were you."

-Good idea.
-No!

No, you don't.

[stammering]

[growling]

-[barks]
-[squeaks]

[snarling]

Hi, Max.

You're sure
you're not a bear?

-[Keely] Heh.
-[snarling]

Are you a good boy?

[growling]

Guess not.

[snarling]

[both screaming]

[dog barking]

Aah! Ah.

Phil, I think
he's mad at us.

Hmm. You think?

Aah. Ahem.
Let me find out.

Uh, see, there's
a function on my wizard.

It interprets
animal sounds.

What'cha thinking,
Max? Huh?

You're all bark,
right, pal?

[male voice]
Another move

and I'll rip
your appendix out

and use it
as a chew toy.

[dog growling]

Mad Max, we're sorry.

We didn't mean
to disturb you.

But the thing is,
if you back up a few feet,

we'll be on our way.

All right?
Have a nice day.

We'll see you later.
Bye-bye.

[male voice] Yeah, right.
Have a nice day.

I got a tick the
size of a c*ck.

My master, he went
off to college.

Your master left you?

Yeah, he was
my best friend.

Now I just feel like
biting something.

Uh, well, I'll tell
you what, Max.

We'll be your friends, huh?

Hmm. Why would
you want to be my friend?

Because you seem
like a fun guy.

Not fun in a laugh-out-loud
kind of way,

but more of
a pleasant grumpiness.

-[male voice] Really?
-Sure.

So it's settled, huh?

We'll come by
and see you tomorrow.

Let us down without...
Eating us.

Thanks.

See you tomorrow, Maximilian!

[male voice]
Wow!

No one ever calls me Maximilian
anymore.

Well, we do,
'cause we're your friends.

-Let's get out of here.
-Yeah.

Yo, aren't you
forgetting something?

Hey, I left you
a little present.

I'm sorry. I didn't
have time to wrap it.

[chuckles]

Ha ha ha ha.

You want to
get this one?

'Cause my hands
are full.

Chug-a, chug-a, chug-a,
chug-a, choo choo.

Here comes
the choo choo train!

What the--huh?

Debbie, how did you
get in my house?

I copied your key
at the shoe repair shop

in Little Tokyo.

I also gave Mr. Yamaguro

all of your platform
shoes to be cut down.

You'll be wearing flats from now on,
my little patient!

How long have I been asleep?

A long time.

Did you know that you
talk in your sleep?

You have a sailor's mouth.

You must have cable.

All right, get me
out of this thing!

-Aah!
-Oh!

[Keely] Green.

[slurping]

[imitating electric guitar]

[growls]

Oh! Oh! Good...

[stutters]

How did you get in here?

-[barks]
-Oh. Right.

I'm sorry.

[dog whimpering]

[male voice]
I let myself in.

Oh, Phil,
I gotta talk to you.

All right, but make it
quick, all right?

I'm headed off
to Festapalooza.

So I found out
this morning

that Jimmy's not coming home from college
this weekend.

Jimmy...

Oh, right, your master.

Oh, gee, that's too bad.

I am sorry
about that, man.

I tell you, I am so bummed.

I've been drinking
toilet water all day.

Oh, Max,

I've tried that,
and it's not the answer.

[whimpers]

Hey, would
a head scratch help?

It wouldn't hurt.

Oh, yeah, that's good.

Now the ears.
Now the neck.

Heh...

Aw, the chest.

That's right.

That's the stuff.

I remember
when I was a puppy

and my master picked me up
from that pet adoption place.

Back then, you could pick me up.

[laughs]

That was the happiest day
of my life.

Uh, that's fascinating
Max, but...

I'm gonna be late,

and my hand's really
starting to cramp up,

so...

But it's trash day.

I thought we could
go for a talk and sniff.

Any other day I could, but...

I gotta go.

[whimpering]

Here's one of
my dad's dirty socks.

Knock yourself out.

[whimpers]

I got my travel wipes,

and 2 quarters duct-taped
to my calves

in case my cell phone
doesn't work.

[ribbit]

[ribbit]

What about that giant
foam finger of yours?

[gasps]

Chunks and scraps!
I forgot it!

[ribbit ribbit]

Phil, is there a frog
following us?

[ribbit]

He's probably trying to follow us
to the concert.

[croaks]

[toad croaking]

Use the wizard on him.

[croaking]

Ok, but I'm not sure
it'll work on amphibians.

[buzzing]

I've been looking
all over for you guys.

Mad Max is straight buggin'!

Really? What's wrong with him?

I don't know.

He busted out of his crib.

Said nobody cares.

Talkin' about makin'
a fresh start somewhere.

But he just came by to see me.

I thought
he was going home.

Wait, Phil, you
knew he was upset,

and you just left him?

No!

No, I mean...

I gave him a sock.

He could get lost!

He could get hurt!

Yo, he could
get jacked.

Yeah, he could
get jacked!

All right, Keely,
we'll go to the concert.

Then, after we get back,
if he's still gone,

we'll go
and look for him.

[sighs]
Do what you want.

I'm outta here.

Wait, no...

Keely!

But he's just a dog!

[mechanical whirring]

[horn honking]

Yoo-hoo!

Yeah, the concert's this way.

If she's going home
to change outfits...

I don't blame her.

No, she's all upset
about this dog Max.

I--I don't know what
she's so freaked out about.

That's Keely.

I've known her since
the first grade.

Yeah, she probably
thinks she's doing the right thing.

The--the right thing?

[sighs]

See, Phil,

there are 2 types of
people in this world--

people like Keely,

who are always thinking
about other people.

Then there are
people like us,

who I call...

Happy people.

So you can't...

Do the right thing
and be happy?

Well, all I know
is my way works.

Hey, now, you probably
won't be able to get backstage.

So I'll see you
back at school on...

Monday.

At lest let me
sell your tickets!

[scoffs]
Unhappy person.

Max?

Max?

[dog barking]

[gasps] Max!

[Phil] Oh! Oh!

Oh, what?

Phil, what are you
doing here?

I thought I heard Max.

Oh, yeah,
that was just me.

I was calling him
in his own language.

Max, come on, boy.

It's me--Phil.

Come here.

[barking]

[sighs]

So why aren't you
at the concert?

This is more important.

I made a commitment
to a friend.

Heh. Don't do this for me.

I'm not.

Oh.

I'm doing it for Max.

Good.

Now, where does a dog go

when he wants to make
a fresh start?

-Huh...
-[sighs]

No, wait.

Max did say something
back at the house.

What...

That was it!

Yes!

[dogs barking]

Oh, my gosh--

Max's bandana!

[Phil] There's Max.

Hey, Max!

Hey, buddy,

you want to come
talk to us over here?

Come on.

Come here.

[buzzes]

What are you doin' here?

Oh, you want a puppy, too?

No, Max, we're here
to take you back home.

Heh, right.

No one wants
a cranky old gas bag like me.

Hey, that's not true.

I know I said
I'd be your friend,

and I wasn't
acting like it,

so I'm sorry.

But I promise to
visit you every day

and scratch you till
my fingers fall off.

Max, Phil missed
the concert to look for you.

Really?

You missed Festapalooza for me?

Yeah. No biggie.

You idiot.

There's gonna be
about 50 bands there.

Just kidding.

I appreciate it.

Come on.
Let's get out of here.

Come on!

So you missed
the concert, eh?

Well, I got
a pretty good voice.

[Phil] Oh, yeah?

♪ If you're happy
And you know it ♪

♪ Wag your tail ♪

♪ If you're happy
And you know it ♪

♪ Wag your tail ♪

Take it away, Phil.

[Phil] I don't think so. No.

Psst! Pimsy!

I changed my schedule,

so now we'll be spending

every second together
until you're healed!

That's it!

I can't take it anymore!

[pants]

I'm all better!

I'm fine!

See?

[pants] Don't you get it, Berwick?

I lied to you.

I was never injured!

[Debbie] Oh!

You silly Billy!

You didn't have to
fake an injury

just to spend
more time with me.

Just ask!

In fact...

Let's spend time together
starting right now!