02x16 - Stuck in the Meddle With You

[bunniefuu]

Did you see that?

What?

They are totally into each other. Oh.

Ok, if you say so.

Quick, look!

Not now.

Now! Oh.

Ok, now! [Neck cracks]

Oh, I just hate it when 2 people

who everyone knows
are supposed to be together

are too clueless to do anything about it.

Keely, you're not going to meddle.

Assist.

Should we talk about the last time
you tried to assist 2 people

you thought should be together?

[crying]

There, there. It'll work out.

No real harm done.

- [sirens]
- [boy groaning]

Aah!

No real harm done?

The guy still can't
carry his own lunch tray.

♪ Meet a boy named Phil ♪

♪ And his family ♪

♪ On vacation from
The 22nd century ♪

♪ Got a rented time machine
And they're on their way ♪

♪ To a time way, way, way
Back in the day ♪

- ♪ So now it's Phil ♪
- ♪ Phil ♪

♪ Phil of the future ♪

♪ Keeping it together
Just as best as he can ♪

♪ Phil ♪

♪ Phil of the future ♪

♪ He's a 22nd century man ♪

♪ 22nd century man ♪

♪ On a holiday Through history ♪

♪ But the final destination
Was a mystery ♪

♪ 'Cause something
On the time machine had blown ♪

♪ So they ended up
Right here in our time zone ♪

- ♪ So now it's Phil ♪
- ♪ Phil ♪

♪ Phil of the future ♪

♪ Never knew in history
Just where he would land ♪

- ♪ Phil ♪
- ♪ Phil ♪

♪ Phil of the future ♪

♪ He's a 22nd century man ♪

♪ Phil of the future ♪

♪ He's a 22nd century man ♪

What are you doing?
Somebody could see you.

Unclench, will ya? Nobody's looking.

I'm planning a prank today,

and I just wanted to check the weather.

The weatherman said
it's gonna be sunny all day.

You're gonna trust some
guy named Sonny Drizzle?

By the way, there's gonna be a
thunderstorm in 3, 2, 1...

[thunder]

How did you know that was going to happen?

I, uh...

She was...

What? Am I finally getting to the bottom

of the mystery of Clan Diffy?

- Yes.
- Yes?

The truth is...

I'm a little clairvoyant, you know.

Psychic, ESP, that kind of junk.

Clairvoyant, huh?

What color are my socks?
No looking down.

Paisley.

Lucky guess.

I'm going to figure out your game, sister.

One of these days,
you're gonna get burned.

How did you know
what color his socks were?

Oh, please.

Ok, here's the thing.

There's a thing?

I tell Grace to meet me

in the broadcast lab after school.

You tell Grady the same thing,

and then we find an excuse
to leave them alone, hmm?

Yeah, it's a great plan
except for the part

where we get Grady and Grace
into the broadcast lab

and find an excuse to leave 'em alone.

Phil, this is important.

If they're meant to be together,
then they'll find out for themselves.

You can't push people.

- Nudge?
- No.

- Poke?
- No!

Little tippy top...

You're right.

I'll leave them alone.

Really?

Honest.

And I couldn't help but notice an
attraction on your part

to a certain somebody in science class.

Me? Oh... oh, no.

No, no, no, no, no.

I could have sworn I saw something
in your eyes.

Uh, contacts. I wear contacts.

Um, sometimes, it looks
like I'm batting my eyes,

but it's really an involuntary eye-batting

caused by dryness. See?

Really? 'Cause I'm usually not wrong
about these things.

[crying] I'll never love again.

[sobbing]

And I have a feeling
he feels the same way about you,

but he's too shy to make a move.

So the thing is for me to
get you together, hmm?

Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no.

I'm not like you.
I'm not good around boys.

You just need a little self...

You think I'm good around boys?

You know what? We'll pick that up later.

Meet me in the broadcast lab after lunch.

Oh, promise me you won't
say anything to anybody.

Not a word.

I promise.

[slurps]

I was so right about grace liking Grady.

Now all you have to do is...

Whoa. I already told you.

I'm not getting involved.

Unlike you, I actually meant it.

But now there's hard evidence.

See, I'm not making the same mistake
I made last time.

I'm checking my leads,
confirming the rumors.

There aren't any rumors.

Oh, there will be.

Can't keep this bottled up forever.

Now all you have to do is talk to Grady

and make sure he likes Grace

as much as I know he does. Huh?

No. Look, if you wanna find out so badly,

ask Grady yourself.

Hey.

[knock on door]

Come in.

You wanted to see me, sir?

Ah, Ms. Voyant.

Clair Voyant, I believe. Have a seat.

I'm not easily duped, Ms. Diffy.

That's why I have here before me 3 bowls.

Only one has a little red ball beneath it.

Now, a true clairvoyant should have no
problem telling me...

- This one...
- Ha!

Has nothing underneath.

Now, if you want to know which bowl

has the red ball underneath it,

it's one of these two,

and to be more specific...

This one.

Hmm. Could be a lucky guess,

but I wasn't born yesterday.

In fact, you should be able to tell me
when I was born.

Hmm. Hmm.

I'm waiting.

Hmm.

Uh, Woodstock, New York, 1969,

in a drum circle. Whatever that is.

I've never mentioned that to anyone!
You are clairvoyant!

Tell me something about my future.

Hmm, let's see.

I see great growth.

- Hair growth?
- Why not?

Ohh! Interesting because I just discovered

a homeopathic hair growth recipe.

I'm supposed to wear this 12 hours
a night for 2 weeks.

Or 48 hours a day for a half-week.



Or is it?

Ooh.

There's no way Grady's going to talk
to me about a girl,

but he'll talk to Phil.

[beeping]

Oh.

Now all I have to do is act like Phil
and nobody'll...

Oh! That doesn't sound like Phil's voice!

- [Hackett] Mr. Diffy?
- Oh, no.

What brings you to H.G. Wells?

Oh, I was just, uh,

working at the hardware store
where I work,

then I thought I'd come see

how both my kids are doing...
As their father.

Your Pim is one very special little girl.

Testing. Testing.

Ahem. Ok. This is so cool!

- Hey, Grady.
- Hey, Phil.

Oh! Right. Me.

Doing some solar-powered grilling.

Oh. Can I whip you up a grilled cheese?

Only takes 45 to 50 minutes.

That's ok. Thanks, though.

So here's the deal.

There's a deal?

I couldn't help but notice

you're sort of into a certain someone
in science class.

Let's call her grace.

What? Me? No!

No! Heh heh.

Oh, isn't she wonderful?

- Oh, I knew it!
- How did you know?

Let's just say a girl knows.

And a guy... Knows even better. Ha ha!

[growls] Ha ha ha!

I also happen to know for a fact
that she's into you.

Mm-hmm. Oh, you should ask her out!

Yeah? Well, I don't see you
asking Keely out,

and you're always talking about
how great she is.

I am?! I mean she is... yes, I am. Mm-hmm.

And I don't see you furthering that
relationship. How come?

Yeah, how come?! Um,
I'll tell you how come.

She... it's complicated.

Look, I don't have time. Just meet me
in the broadcast lab.

Ms. Diffy! You were so right!

Look, do you see follicles?

Are follicles the same as ants?

The hair growth, it's beginning!

Oh, yeah, looky there.

From now on, I'm not making a move

without consulting you first.

You know, I'd love to help you
with my psychic... Ness,

but I'm gonna be late for math class.

I'll write you a pass.

Really?

Anything to help you with
your wonderful gift.

Come to think of it, my wonderful gift

could use a more private environment

in which to connect to spirit junk.

Well, we must find you a
more suitable place immediately.

You read my mind.

Hey, you didn't say anything, did you?

No, but I know for sure he likes you.

How?
I, uh, I heard it from Phil.

Really?!

Oh, I just really wish I looked better.

You know, more... you know, like you!

Like me?

I never really had a good sense of style.

Grace, I believe we have the time

to give you the look you want.

[squeals]

Let's start with your outfit.

Yeah.

Uhh!

Ugh!

- Heh!
- Oh!

Now for your hair.

Oops! That's another
project I'm working on.

Heh.

Oh! [Squeals]

Ahem.

And here is your TV, your sound system,

microwave, and mini fridge.

It's stocked with ice cream and
breakfast burritos.

You think this will help you

connect to your clairvoyant powers?

It's a start.

Hey, Phil. Sorry I didn't show up
at the broadcast lab.

Truth be told, I chickened out.

- What are you talking about?
- Your plan at lunch.

I just couldn't do it.

What plan?

Is that...

Grace?

Somebody's definitely meddled.

Oh! This is a bad idea.

He didn't show up at the broadcast lab.

Obviously he's not interested.

Because he's shy,

which is why you have to make
the first move.

- [squeaks]
- What do I do?

What do I do?

Walk over, look him straight in the eye.

[breathes deeply]

Uh-oh. She's walking again.

I think I'm gonna be sick.

I'm sure you've seen girls walk before.

Not like that.

And not toward me.

Hi, guys.

Hey, G-g-g-g-grace.

I really like you,

and I'd love to go out sometime,

so here's my number, Phil.

- Phil?
- Phil?

- Phil?!
- Heh.

I can't believe I made Grace over

and built up her confidence all
because she likes you.

How could I miss that?
I'm usually so good...

[sobbing] I'll never love again!

It was 2 years ago! Move on!

I told you it was a bad idea
to get involved.

And you shouldn't have gotten my hopes up
telling me that Grace liked me.

I'll be in the science lab

dissecting my broken heart.

Why does Grady keep telling me

I said stuff I know I never said?

Well...

Time for home ec class!
Off to learn! See ya!

Keely Teslow, you morphed yourself into me

just so you could talk
to Grady, didn't you?

Just a little.

You stole my instamorph!

Well, if you gave me
one for my birthday like I wanted,

you wouldn't have gotten us
into this mess.

The important thing is, what do we do now?

Oh! I knew this would turn into "we."

Look, I'm just gonna tell grace

that I don't like her the same way
she likes me, ok?

Well, you can't! I just gave her
all this confidence,

and now you're gonna crush her.

Ok, what did she say she likes about me?

Heh. Pretty much everything.

How cute you are, how nice you are,

smart, considerate, neat, blah blah blah!

Yeah, that sounds about right.

Wait. What if I wasn't?

What if I was the opposite
of all those things?

Then I wouldn't have to hurt her feelings
and she would just stop liking me so much.

Perfect!

Tell me again what she likes about me.

That you're cute, smart, nice...

Oh, you are so loving this, aren't you?

Yes. Yes, I am.

Madame Pimsatzka, I must consult with you!

- Not a good time.
- [flipping TV channels]

I'm... channeling.

Please!

Uhh!

[Hackett knocking excitedly]

Enter!

You have to look in your
crystal ball and tell me

which of 2 sidewalk sales this weekend

will have more sweater vests in my size.

Let's take a look, shall we?

It's no use. The crystal
ball is clouded up

from all the pressure
of my English exam this Friday.

Well, I think a little executive order
from the vice principal

can change all that.

And my history report due on Thursday.

Done. I sign a note. No report.

It's starting to get clear.

- Uh-oh.
- What?

I see great troubles ahead for you

unless you follow madame Pimsatzka's

instructions to the letter.

Well, what must I do? Tell me, great seer.

Let's see.

To show that you are the master of time,

you must quack at the mention of any date.

- Quack?
- Precisely.

And to show the lightness of your being,

the spirit world demands

that you bust a dance
move every 10 seconds.

Makes sense. Anything else?

I said the quacking thing, right?

Quack!

Then that's it.

Hey, grace. How's it swinging?

Oh! Are you ok?

Uh, you don't seem yourself.

Yeah, I'm great. This is me.

It takes so long to put the whole neat
guy thing together.

When I get to know someone,

I just like to let it go, hang loose.

Oh.

[sniffs] Smell like anything to you?

Oh! Oh! Wow.

And the whole smart guy thing? Nope!

I cheat on every test.

I don't believe it.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, when I pull
my nice guy routine,

I just get away with all sorts of stuff,

so I totally understand if you're
not into me anymore.

- Chicken?
- Oh!

No. You know, Phil,

I know a way to prove
we're meant to be together.

You do?

Uh-huh.

[mumbles]

I get many young couples.

We're not a couple.

I believe that is for
Madame Pimsatzka to decide.

Oh, that's why we're here...

To find out if we're meant to be together.

You solve this whole thing
with a right answer.

Know what I mean?

Let us see what the cards have to say.

Aren't those just regular playing cards?

Shh! The spirits are shuffling.

Ooh! 3 of clubs.

Yep, you're together.

Oh, wow! Try another one.

Hey, looky there. 9 of spades.

That means you'll be
together this Friday night

on a romantic date.
Let me do another one.

Nope! That's plenty.

You and Grace are not
going out Friday night.

I don't want to go on a date with Grace.

Quack!

Vice Principal Hackett,
what are you doing?

Every time I hear the word "date,"

Madame Pimsatzka says I need to...

Enough said.

Oh!

Can we get back to this date?

Quack!

Look, I don't know what to do, Keel.

I tried everything to get Grace
not to like me.

Why do I have to be so irresistible?

Wait a minute. That's it.

Since we couldn't turn you into
someone grace hates,

we'll turn Grady into someone she'll love!

I don't know. I...

It's perfect! Then on Friday night
we'll all get together,

like a double date.

[Hackett] Quack quack!

We are going to help you get grace.

But she likes Phil.

She thinks she likes Phil.

We have to show her she's wrong.

Mmm.

Uh, first, let's work on your appearance,

try to achieve a more relaxed, cool look.

Hmm. Let's see what you got.

Oh!

I thought this was going to be
just the two of us.

Well, you know how we've always talked

about the four of us getting together?

- No.
- Well, now we can.

Anyone for shrimp puffs?

Uh, I'm allergic to shrimp.

I'm allergic to puffs.

Phil, the backyard looks beautiful.
I love the lights.

They kind of hurt my eyes.

Oh, it's the contrast
against the black sky.

It causes your pupils to
repeatedly dilate.

I know that.

Did you know that Grady is not only

president of the theoretical physics team,

- but also of the close-up magic club?
- Hmm?

Ooh! I love theoretical physics.

Oh, great because I'm president
of the club!

I know. That's what Phil just said.

Oh. Sorry, all this romantic stuff,

it just makes me kind of nervous.

It is a little over the top.

No offense to the ladies,

but I'd rather be at the
Pickford Planetarium

helping 'em re-grease the telescope.

They let you do that?

I know people in the scientific community.

Oh, wow.

Do you want to go?

Uh, uh, does a moebius strip

have an infinite number of loops?

You've just made me the happiest guy
on this map grid.

Oh! Do you mind?

Are you kidding me? Re-greasing
the telescope?

What are you still doing here? Go, go!

Ohh!

Oh! Whew!

Whew. Heh.

Hey, did you happen to notice

how Kyle was looking at Brenda in math?

Keely, have you not learned your lesson?

Meddling only leads to trouble.

I'm sorry. It just drives me crazy

when 2 people who are supposed
to be together

are too clueless
to do anything about it.

[snorts]

Wow.

The stars are beautiful tonight.

Hmm. Yeah.

Heh. Date?

Thank you.

[Hackett] Quack!

Heh.

Know what? I'm beginning to see my future,

and it has way too much Vice Principal
Hackett in it.

This weekend is the Great
Pickford Bake-off

and pickle-tasting.
I'm gonna need all your help

if I'm gonna go home with
the golden gherkin.

It was more fun taking tests!

That's it! I renounce my powers!

No, no, no! You can't!

Too late. Once you
renounce them, they're gone!

Madame Pimsatzka, I need you!

Oh, spirit world, give me a sign

that everything's gonna be ok.

[bell rings]

Oh! Thank you!