02x18 - Happy Nird-day

[bunniefuu]

Phil! 7:30. It's time
to get on up. Yeah!

- Owww!
- [playing drums]

- [stops playing]
- Ahh.

Whoo! Thank you, Phil's room!

[cheering]

I rock.

Dr. Smooth is on call.

Mama's lookin' good.

Lloyd, where's my "dress me" hoop?

I recalibrated it.

Picked out something
for you to wear.

Ohh. Thanks, honey.

Lloyd!

Come on, it'll be fun.

I'll be the bull.

[snorting]

Ohh, moo.

You guys are supposed to be
at school in 3 minutes.

- That's practically forever!
- 3 minutes?

I'm gonna go finish my homework for the
rest of the semester!

I'm taking the skyak
to Rome for a pizza.

♪ Meet a boy named Phil ♪

♪ And his family ♪

♪ On vacation from
The 22nd century ♪

♪ Got a rented time machine
And they're on their way ♪

♪ To a time way, way, way
Back in the day ♪

- ♪ So now it's Phil ♪
- ♪ Phil ♪

♪ Phil of the future ♪

♪ Keeping it together
Just as best as he can ♪

♪ Phil ♪

♪ Phil of the future ♪

♪ He's a 22nd century man ♪

♪ 22nd century man ♪

♪ On a holiday Through history ♪

♪ But the final destination
Was a mystery ♪

♪ 'Cause something
On the time machine had blown ♪

♪ So they ended up
Right here in our time zone ♪

- ♪ So now it's Phil ♪
- ♪ Phil ♪

♪ Phil of the future ♪

♪ Never knew in history
Just where he would land ♪

- ♪ Phil ♪
- ♪ Phil ♪

♪ Phil of the future ♪

♪ He's a 22nd century man ♪

♪ Phil of the future ♪

♪ He's a 22nd century man ♪

Guys, I am this close
to fixing the time engine.

Sorry, Dad, but you've said that,
like, 100 times.

I think I'm offended.

It must've been 30 times.
May... 32, tops.

Ok, Pops. Let's settle this
once and for all.

Say it.

I don't wanna.

Say it.

I'm this close
to fixing the time engine.

[computer voice] I'm this close
to fixing the time engine.

107th utterance by Lloyd Diffy.

- Ha!
- Ohh!

Thank you.

- [electronic ring]
- Sorry.

Phil, do not forget. It's
Keely's birthday tomorrow.

- I'm on it.
- You don't want a repeat of last year.

- It wasn't that bad.
- Ok, let's watch a clip, shall we?

Phil, you missed my birthday.

Was that a government agent?!

I knew they'd find us.
What did you say?!

Dad, Dad, it's Keely.

[Lloyd] Oh...

Oh!

That one. Sorry.

I thought you were a government agent
bent on our destruction.

I didn't know you could get
a cake delivered this late.

Hey, Dad, take care of the tip.

Phil, we've been friends
for 2 months,

and you forgot my birthday.

Oh, come on. They must have
birthdays in the future.

Don't they?

Oh. She means Nird-day.

Nird-day? Yeah, N-I-R-D.

Natal input
and registration day.

[all] ♪ Happy Nird-day,
Happy Nird-day ♪

♪ You're brand-new ♪

♪ You're brand-new ♪

♪ Your code is in the system ♪

♪ You've got global wisdom ♪

♪ Good for you, good for you ♪

[all, robotically]
Natal input complete.

This year I've got it
all planned out.

Just have to decide between...

"A," thermo-bungee poling

from the bottom of Mauna Loa Volcano,

"B," skyaking to the Alps so we can zip
through ice tunnels,

"C," hover-hiking through
the Amazon rainforest,

and "D," all three, plus a movie.

What do you think?

Hey, if you go to the rainforest,

can you bring me back
one of those little monkeys?

What? They're cute,

the way you can dress 'em up
like tiny matadors?

I'll keep my eyes open, dad.

[vibrating] Oh, y-e-ah,

th-a-t's what I'm
ta-alkin' about.

Good morning, my melodious urchins.

I have an announcement to make,

so quickly and quietly scoop
the wax from your ears.

We have a new pupil.

His name is Simon Buber.

Dr. Messerschmitt,
I would like to present you

with a token of my appreciation

for this opportunity
to learn at the feet

of such a distinguished
and... and masterful genius.

[Messerschmitt] Oh, please.

Your transparent attempts
at manipulation

are as obvious as my...

My nephew's pathetic mulings
come summer solstice.

Oh, go back to your video games,

you intellectual not-wits.

An apple.

The classic symbol
of teacher worship.

My boy, you're a breed apart.

For this, you shall
have the optimal vantage point

from which to view my pedagogical prowess.
Look it up.

Miss Diffy, you are hereby demoted
to second tier.

But this is my seat!

I don't see your name on it.

It's all yours, young Buber.

[chuckles]

You just became
a 3-legged possum

crossing highway P.I.M.

What up, Phil-thy?

Nothin'. Just puttin' the final touches
on Keely's birthday present.

Whoa. When is it?

It's tomorrow.
I highly suggest you don't miss it.

Oh, man. I got some
serious regifting to do.

You think Keely
would dig a 6-pack of tube socks?

I think I can get 'em
back in the bag.

You may have yourself
a nice little gift basket.

Oh, man, awesome!

Thanks for the heads up, dude.

Keely, just the person
I've been looking for.

I have something amazing
to tell you about tomorrow.

Tomorrow? What's tomorrow?

I don't know. I think I'm just gonna give
you the best birthday present ever.

Phil, you didn't
have to get me anything.

What is it?!

Aah! Are you serious?!

We're skyaking
to the Swiss Alps?!

Yep. Shh. [Chuckles]

Through an ice tunnel?!

No way!

Oh, sorry.

Is it cool having
a friend from the future or what?!

♪ Happy Nird-day,
Happy Nird-day ♪

♪ I'm brand-new ♪

♪ I'm brand-new ♪

Ah. There you are.

Wait...

You're into special ops?

When you're as good
at it as I am,

it's no longer special.

Smitty was gonna hit us
with a little surprise test tomorrow,

so I ex*cuted
a preemptive strike.

Wait, you're pranking Messerschmitt?

I thought you were
a total messer-pet.

All part of the great game.

Simon says, welcome to my world.

Tomorrow he's gonna try
to open the test vault,

and...[chuckles]

You, my friend, are a genius.

Simon, there's something
I have to tell you.

Tomorrow, don't sit
at your desk. Trust me.

Ok. So long as you promise
not to sit at yours.

Trust me.

Wow.

Wow!

Pretty! Ohh. Makeup,

a new hairdo,
courtesy of the I-want.

I remember those days.

♪ Someone's been bitten
By the love bug ♪

Oh, Mumsy, you're so silly.

Gotta go. Huge test today.
Mustn't be late.

♪ Tra-la-la-la ♪

Honey, oh,
I think our Pim has her first crush!

Oh, that's great.

Lloyd, what are you up to?

I had a breakthrough!

I discovered I can harness enough energy
with the proton batteries

from our gadgets to fire up
the temporal pump valve!

It won't get us home,
but it'll get me this much closer

to fixing the time engine.

[computer voice]
108th utterance by Lloyd Diffy,

108th utterance
by Lloyd Diffy...

- And I can use these, too.
- That's great, honey,

but how are we supposed
to function around here

without our future technology?

Well, it's a sacrifice
we're just gonna have to make.

Ohh.

Well, it does give me
a good excuse

to do some more
old-fashioned cooking.

Like I said, a sacrifice
we'll all have to make.

What sacrifice?

Your father took
all the batteries

out of our future gadgets.

Wait, so that means
we have no more future stuff?

What... what about the skyak?

Are you kidding?! Those are the most
powerful batteries we've got!

But I need it for Keely's birthday.

Well, you're gonna
have to do something else with Keely.

It's too late
to do anything with...

[electronic ringing]

This is your third
and final warning.

Today's Keely's birthday.

Someone hear a wizard?

- Not me.
- Me, either.

Before I pass out the tests,

you will be relieved to know

that today's exam
will be multiple-choice.

You have a choice of "A,"
perspiring freely,

"B," weeping copiously,

or "C," disappearing
in a puff of smoke

that leaves me stunned
yet impressed

with your feats
of prestidigitation.

I didn't think so.

This could get messy...

- Schmitt.
- [laughs]

Oh.

It seems that the drawer
has been welded shut

by a CX-30 blowtorch.

What a fortunate development.

Guess it takes more
than a good plan

and a professional-grade
blowtorch

to outwit Messerschmitt.

[chuckles]

No test today.

Do not cry, Adelaide. [Sniffles]

I'm ready for the slopes.

Um, Keel, we can't go to the Alps.

Oh, that's ok. We can
go to the Himalayas.

Just as long as it's somewhere cold,

'cause I'm startin' to get
a little gamey under here.

That's... that's the thing. Um...

My dad took all the batteries out
of our future gadgets,

including the skyak.

I'm... I'm sorry.

Oh.

Well...

That... that's ok, Phil.

No. No, I mean, it's not ok.

I'm from 21... 2121.

I should be able to do something out
of this world for you,

but I rely
on my future technology so much

and now that I don't have it,

I've got nothing
for your birthday.

Phil, you're being
way too hard on yourself.

I'm just a simple girl.

I hate it when people make
a big fuss over my birthday.

Happy birthday, Keely.

Pull my finger
to get your present.

[Keely] Owen, I... I...

Come on, pull it!

You'll never guess
what's gonna happen.

I think we can guess
what's gonna happen.

[dance music plays]

Aah! Oh! Oh, Owen,
I love surprise parties!

This is the coolest thing
anybody's ever done for me!

He said he was doing socks.

[buzzing]

What, what, what?!

[beeping and ringing]

No wonder why people in this century wake
up in such bad moods.

Ohh.

Ow! Ow! Ohh!

Ggah! Eeeh!

Ow! Ohh! Ggah! Aah!

[yawns]

[clank]

- Aah!
- [record needle scratches]

Shaving is hard.

The hairs are so small,
and the razor's so sharp.

Tell me about it.

Ohh. How's breakfast coming?

Great!

You know I love cooking
the old-fashioned way.

Today I thought we'd try
breakfast smoothies.

Aren't smoothies supposed
to have fruit in them?

I am getting there.
I am getting there.

Sorry I'm late. Uh...

I had to make my bed
by hand, and...

Scrub my teeth with
a weird little brush.

Don't worry about it. We're all running
a bit behind this morning.

Breakfast smoothie?

Um, you know what, mom?

I... I think I'm just
gonna have toast.

Oh, it's in there.

I can't believe I messed up with Keely
a second year in a row.

I'm such a lousy friend.

Now I have to come up
with something even more amazing,

without any gadgets.

Am I the only person
in this family

having trouble without
future technology?

Aah!

[all] Aah!

Aah!

There's no batteries
in my I-want-straight-hair!

And I'm guessing no more
uncracked mirrors in the bathroom.

I forgot to tell you, Sugar Pea!

I'm using the batteries
to fix the time engine.

What?! You would put that hunk of junk
before my grooming needs?!

How am I supposed to turn this jungle into
a waterfall of straight lusciousness?!

Well, I'm sure you'll figure
something out, honey.

We're all doing the best
we can to adjust.

Perhaps I could use your powers for good
instead of evil.

Well, snap it up, Tumbleweed.

I gotta get everybody
to school by 8:15.

What time is it now?

It's, uh, 12:30.

When Keely sees this,

I will be crowned
birthday present king.

This can't be right.

I got your note.
What's going on?

[Muffled] Hurry up
and turn around and close your eyes.

[bell rings]

I know it's a day late,

but here it is.

[chuckles]

Same present as last year.

Thanks, Phil.

[Darth-Vader-like breathing]

Hoppy, hoppy birthday, Keely.

Phil?

Hmm! Phil Diffy?

Let me guess, you're not alone in the
video lab right now, are you?

I was kind of in the middle
of an oral report, Phil.

I'll give you an "A"
for your critical analysis

of the red badge of courage.

However, you'll
have to factor in a D-plus

for the poor taste
of your visual aid.

[squelch]

[all laughing]

Something I can do
for you, Napscott?

[squelch]

[all laughing]

Quiet. Quiet.

This woman is a model.

Maybe not in
the traditional sense,

but we should all aspire
to be so... so courageous,

so inventive as Pim Diffy.

You know, I would even
venture to say

that these objects now...

Now clinging
to Miss Diffy's head,

they're not due
to any sticky goo

but rather due
to the pure magnetism of...

Of her beautiful presence.

Simon says,

let's hear it for Pim Diffy,

a goddess among us!

You had the perfect opportunity

to inflict the most severe,

possibly even permanent,
social agony on me,

and you chose not to...

And to think I liked you.

I... I really like you, Pimmy.

Ohh, you're just
making it worse!

My trip to the alps
would've totally

blown Owen's surprise party
out of the water.

I can't believe
I let Keely down, again.

That's where your nird-day rocket
went off course, son.

Women appreciate
the simplest things.

- Really?
- Oh, yeah.

I remember your mom's first
nird-day we spent together.

All I could afford
were a couple of aisle seats

on a commuter space bus, but...

She enjoyed gazing out
at those planets.

So you're saying it doesn't really matter
that you took all the batteries?

Batteries, no. Turns out
I didn't need 'em after all.

- What?!
- Yeah.

I used my employee discount

to grab some of these
big old lantern batteries.

If you really want to,

you can take Keely
out on the skyak now.

You know what? I...

I've got a better idea.

And...

You may wanna just shave
the other one off,

start fresh.

I'll see ya.

I should've never brought you...

All the way here just for this.

The cake has a smiley face on it

'cause whenever we're together
you make me smile,

and the flowers, I know
you like wearing flowers

in your hair all the time.

The candles, they smell
like lavender 'cause...

You hate it.
You hate it, don't you?

I... [sighs] I completely
messed up again.

Of course.

Phil...

I... I didn't know,

you know, how to make it...

This...

Is the sweetest...

[sighs]

Most wonderful,

incredibly beautiful thing
anyone's ever done for me.

Wait, but... but Owen.

I mean, he had confetti
and balloons.

What Owen did was nice.

This...

This is out of this world.

You don't need some science-fiction
gadget thingie to impress me.

You know me.

You know, I can't help
but feel like...

Something's missing.

I know.

Oh, no, no. No, please, I...

- Oh, yes.
- No, no. I don't...

Aah!

[laughs]

Whoo!

Whoo!

Ohh!

Aah!

Aah!

Simon?

- Pim?
- I'm sorry I had to discipline you

in front of the common people,

but you showed weakness,

and people like you
and me can't show weakness.

I'm afraid you're just
not up to Pim level yet.

But you're gettin' close.