02x19 - Lainey's Mom

[bunniefuu]

LAINEY: Back in the '90s,
there were so many great movies

about teachers, but one really
inspired Principal Glascott

to get through to the kids
in a whole new way.

They finally did it.

"Good Will Hunting"
is a movie that combines

two of my greatest loves.

Matt Damon and Ben Affleck.

No, I mean teaching and counseling.

But those boys
do have something very special.

Some might even say it's

- [Bostonian accent] "wicked awesome."
- [Chuckles]

[Bostonian accent]
"How 'bout them apples?"

[Normal voice] Right? How 'bout 'em?

[Normal voice] You want to
know the one that I don't like?

- What?
- Them grammar.

[Wheezing laugh] Them grammar.

You wanted to see me, John?

I wanted to let you know
that CB is going to assist you

at the robotics competition
this weekend.

[Robotic voice] Wilma. I am ready.

Oh, sure, that makes total sense

because he's an English teacher.

At the last Sharing Circle,
we decided that when teachers

are outside of their area of expertise,

they can lend a unique perspective.

Wilma... [Imitates machine whirring]

...I am excited to think
outside of the box with you.

Here's my unique perspective...
no thanks.

[Robotic voice] Sorry, Wilma.
Mind made up.

[Both laugh]

[Normal voice] Oh, speaking of which.

Look at this adorable guy.

He's dressed like me.

Hello, little fella.

[Groans]

God! No! Why, God?!

- [Normal voice] Wilma, did one of your kids make this?
- [Groans]

My kids wish they could make
a robot this good.

That is some great work.

It's a prank, and I'm pretty
sure I know the perpetrator!

[Robotic voice] We need
to find him immediately.

CB, the robot bit is over!

♪ One of these days,
you're gonna get outta here ♪

♪ Live your life and finally be free ♪

♪ Go where you wanna go,
do what you wanna do ♪

♪ Someday, you will say
"Those were the days" ♪

It was April 1st, 1990-something,

and I had recently gotten up the courage

to get my mom's phone number
from my dad.

[Dialing]

Actually dialing it
was a whole other story.

[Dialing]

I hadn't seen her in like 15 years,

so I was looking for any excuse
to get out of doing it.

Oh! CB, let me help you.

That looks really heavy.

♪

[Dialing]

This phone is gross,
and I hate what I'm wearing.

Clearly, I needed some support,

- so I went to the best coach I knew.
- Okay.

Can't believe the next voice
I'm going to hear is my mom's.

- [Dialing]
- You got this.

[Disconnect tone]

OPERATOR: We're sorry.

You have reached a number

that has been disconnected

or is no longer in service.

You sure you got the right number?

Yeah. It's the number my dad gave me.

Who wrote this?
W-Were they on a trampoline?

No. I wrote it.

- You sure you're right-handed?
- Yes!

Well, this looks like hieroglyphics.

You got a 4, a 7, then an L,
and then you drew a falcon.

Why did you draw a falcon?

No. [Stammers] Okay, we get it.

I have bad penmanship.

I'll have to call my dad

and make sure I wrote down
the number right.

You drew an owl over here.

♪

Caroline, why would you do this?

It'll take me hours
to wash away all this blue.

My shower's gonna look like a scene

from "Psycho," but with the Smurfs.

[Chuckles] Wait, did I just
think of a genius movie pitch?

You did not.

But this robot is pretty genius.

The force of the paint,
the distribution...

it is the perfect amount of humiliation.

That's what I was going for.

Well, you know what I'm going for?

Two weeks' detention.

You shouldn't punish genius, John.

It may be genius,
but it's evil genius, Wilma.

Evil, I say!

Well, my robotics team is soft,

and we could use someone like Caroline.

Well, I can't reward her
for what she did.

I don't wanna join her team, okay?

So, it's not a reward.
I'd rather take detention.

There you go. Detention's the reward.

Putting her on my robotics team
is the punishment.

Okay, fine. We'll do it your way.

But with CB's help.

What does an English teacher
know about robotics?

Boy, I do like you.

♪

So, what'd your dad say?

Turns out he had the wrong number.

Then he went on some rant how my mom

is probably a carnie or a drug mule now.

That's highly unlikely.

Those two jobs require
very different skill sets.

He also told me he heard
she lives in Altoona now.

That's only a couple hours away.

Yeah. I might go visit during the break.

But, you know, I-I might get
a summer teaching gig.

I might want to travel, find myself.

There's many things to do.

You know what I hate, Lainey?

Hippies? Russians? Poodles?

Waiters that tell you their names?

Actually, I came around on
that one when, uh,

my good buddy Lance from TGI Fridays

turned me on to cilantro.

No, but what I hate is excuses,

and that's what I hear you making.

Now, you wanted me
to push you to do this.

To call her. But... seeing her?

I mean, I need a little more time, Rick.

All right. I know when not
to push my players too hard.

I'll tell you what.

What say we go down to TGI Fridays

and my good buddy Lance hooks us up

with some barbecue quesadillas?

That actually sounds great.

I could really use
some fried stuff right now.

While Rick was helping me,
Wilma was trying to help

her chances at the robotics competition.

Everyone, meet your new teammate.

Caroline Dillon? Seriously?

Don't explode any paint bombs in here.

These are my only glasses with
an up-to-date prescription.

Calm down. She's not here
to blow anything up.

Right?

Fine.

Did you just glue a skateboard
to a watering can

and stick a baseball mitt on top?

It's designed to carry an egg.

Well, I bet it can carry stupid.

You can't carry stupid.
That's an abstract concept.

Yeah, that's what I thought,
too, until I saw your robot.

Now, let's remember that there
are no stupid ideas.

There are, however, better ideas
than Mr. Eggbot,

which is why I brought in
some fresh blood.

Yeah, this is actually way too lame.

I can't do this, Ms. Howell.

I can't dumb it down just to
make these scrubs feel better.

- I'm out.
- Hey, wait. Don't go.

How about this... these guys can make

their Eggbot, and you can make your own.

It'll be like tryouts
for the real competition.

- I'd do that.
- Okay.

May the best robot win.

Oh, this is getting interesting.

It wasn't interesting before?

Wilma, can I see you over there

for un momento, por favor, please?

Listen, I thought you were
supposed to be teaching

the kids about teamwork.

It is teamwork.

They're working as two separate teams.

You know what this reminds me of?

The classic novel,
"The Three Musketeers."

Oh, interesting, and super
relevant to the task at hand.

Well, originally, the musketeers
were enemies with D'Artagnan,

and then they realized
that they were stronger

when they worked together, okay?

And that's when they truly
became "all for one."

I know you're trying to help me,
but now I'm just hungry

for a Three Musketeers bar.

While CB was coaching Wilma,
Coach had his own plans for me.

Hey, we just passed TGI Fridays.

We're not going there.

Lance doesn't even work there today.

Well, there are other servers, Rick.

It's not about that.

We're going to Altoona.

Wait, what?

- Are you serious? You're kidnapping me?
- I'm not kidnapping you.

Kidnapping is taking
a kid away from a parent.

I'm returning a kid to a parent.

So, I'm... I'm un-napping you
or possibly de-napping you.

No, you don't have to do this.

I will do it. Myself. Later.

I promise.

Maybe next weekend.

Or I travel and find myself.

That way, I can show her
vacation photos I took.

[Brakes squeak]

Look, Lainey,
if you don't want to do this,

I can turn around
and we can go home right now.

- Okay.
- Hear me out.

I had a huge falling out
with my stepfather,

and we didn't talk for 10 years.

Well, we have that fun thing in common.

Look, I don't know if talking to him

would have made things better or worse,

but I wish I could have found out.

You still have a chance to find out.

All right.

Let's do this.

♪

Mellor had shared
a personal story with me,

while Glascott was sharing
his bootleg copy

of "Good Will Hunting" with someone

he thought would appreciate it the most.

See? You're both maintenance workers.

That's pretty cool, huh?

This makes me believe one day,

I, too, could janitor
at the Ivy League level.

Maybe you can, son.

Maybe you can.

It's not your fault.

I know.

It's not your fault, all right?

It's not your fault.

It's true! It's not his fault!

Why won't he listen?
Accept the help, man!

GLASCOTT: Oh, Wilma.

You made it just in time
for the third act.

As much as I love to watch movies,

I've got robotics club,

and CB can't be left in there alone.

Break dancing in the science lab
just leads to breaking things.

Speaking of which,
how's it going with Caroline?

That's why I came in here.

To tell you to come see for yourself.

I have to say, Wilma,
I applaud how you stepped in

to help that troubled genius.

[Chuckles] Oh, my God!

You're "Good Wilma Hunting."

Ha. I see what you did.

I added an "m-a" to the "Will."

- Is that what you saw?
- Yes.

Yeah, good. 'Cause that's what I did.

♪

Hey, guys.

Get your robots ready to demonstrate
for Principal Glascott.

Wait, they're doing them separately?
Isn't this a team?

- That's what I've been saying.
- Trust me.

This friendly competition
will guarantee the best robot.

Y'all ready for this?

Mr. Eggbot!

[Whirring]

Ooh. [Chuckles]

This robot is egg-cellent.

[Chuckles]

Okay, I'm sorry.

Now, let's see what Caroline's can do.

[Whirring]

- No!
- No!

- No!
- No!

- No!
- No!

- Ooh!
- No!

- [expl*si*n]
- No!

[Coughs] Oh, God!

No! Why, God?! Why?!

Sorry. I guess the best robot won.

Caroline, that is not okay!

[Machinery powering down]

- My robot!
- Great.

Now we have no robot
for the competition.

You know, this reminds me
of the classic novel,

"Wilma Should Have Listened to CB."

Rick was taking me to see my mom,

and the closer we got,
the more nervous I got.

I hope this isn't a bad idea.

We could find my mom
in a hillbilly roadhouse

with a bunch of guys snapping
her bra straps for wine coolers.

My dad's words, not mine.

It's how they met, apparently.

♪

Well, this doesn't look like
a hillbilly roadhouse.

No. The neighborhood
doesn't seem like it's zoned

for that kind of thing.

We don't know her life now.

Remarried? Job? Kids?

Do I have stepsiblings?

We don't know what's behind
those doors, Rick.

I think I know a really good way
to find out.

Come on. Let's go.

- [Doorbell rings]
- [Dog barking]

I'm so nervous to see her face-to-face.

Oh, my God. Lainey?

Hi, Mom.

Look at you. [Chuckles]

You... You're so grown-up.

Well, it's been a long time.

Uh, Rick Mellor.

Um, friend, co-worker,
and reunion specialist.

♪

You'll have to excuse
Buttercup and Duffy.

They're a little antsy
after sitting for 45 minutes

while I painted their portrait.

LAINEY: Gosh, look at those.

MELLOR: There's so many, too.

Yeah. It's pretty hard to paint
a bad picture of these two.

So... whatcha been up to?

Wow. 15 years. Okay.

Well, a lot has happened.

Um, I'll just give you
the greatest hits.

In high school, I started a band.

Oh, fun.

You always had a beautiful voice.

Thank you.

So, I moved to Hollywood

to, um, try to make it on my own.

Well, you're better as a solo act.

Anyway, I, um... I moved back to Philly,

and, uh... Oh, my gosh.

I'm dating Barry Goldberg.

Oh. I remember that boy.

Did he ever grow into that hair?

He did not.

Yeah, it's been a pretty
crazy ride with him.

We actually got engaged
and then we broke it off

and we were apart for a couple years.

Now we're back together.

It's long distance, but it's
actually going pretty well.

I'm so glad you guys
found each other again.

And now I'm a music teacher
at William Penn.

I'm also the cheerleading coach.

Oh, my God.

It feels like literally yesterday

you were a cheerleader there.

You remember that?

Of course I do.

I'm so happy things are going well.

Yeah, they are.

Despite, you know, everything.

I'm sorry to interrupt, but I'm guessing

this is Duffy's favorite chair?

Oh, God. I'm sorry.

I'll take them out. Come on, guys.

- Let's go, let's go.
- Not his fault.

Probably drawn to my alpha energy.

Yeah...

[Exhales sharply]

So, your mom seems
like she's doing great.

I'm not buying it.
This is what she used to do.

She'd pull it together
in front of company,

and then she'd go to one
of her many booze hiding spots.

She'd hide her mini airplane
bottles in a cookie jar.

[Chuckles]

Ooh, Nutter Butters. Ha, ha!

Mm. Nope. Dog treats.

Seems like your mom really has changed.

Yeah, maybe.

Why are you still eating the dog treat?

'Cause I'm not a quitter.

Lainey. Lainey, stop.

It's okay, Rick.

She has every reason not to trust me.

Heck, when Lainey was a kid,

I-I did hide booze all over the house.

But I'm clean now.

Wait, for real?
Y-You're not drinking anymore?

No. I swear.

I'm in a program.

I-I have a meeting tonight.

I'm... I'm getting
a milestone chip for sobriety.

Really?

Why don't you come with me?

I mean, you can see for yourself.

Things are different now.

Um... o-okay. Yeah.

I'm here, right?

Uh, Rick, would you like to join us?

- I'd be honored.
- Great.

Yeah, it's probably
not a good idea for you

to be alone in the house with the dogs.

I mean, Duffy's sweet,
but, uh, he definitely

is gonna hold a grudge
for you taking his seat.

I was starting to see that my mom

wasn't the mess I thought she'd be.

Meanwhile, Wilma was cleaning
up the messy aftermath

of the robot battle.

I escorted Caroline to detention.

I guess I'm not Good Wilma Hunting.

I'm Bad Wilma Hunting.

Don't be so hard on yourself.

You were right to try.

I created a monster,
and the monster I created

created a monster who destroyed
cute, little Eggbot,

whose only crime was wanting
to carry an egg five inches.

Wilma... it's not your fault.

What are you talking about?
I warned her and she did it.

How is that not her fault?

It's not your fault.

Oh, I see what you're doing there.

You're doing that thing from the movie?

Yeah, it was a beautiful,
heartfelt moment,

and it totally changed my opinion

of what Robin Williams
could do as an actor.

Wilma, it's not your fault.

Yeah. It's Caroline's fault.

Having been privy to it all,

I would love to offer you
my perspective.

- I feel like...
- CB, nobody wants to hear

your ideas or thoughts.

I mean, Caroline
is just this know-it-all

who won't listen to anyone's
ideas or thoughts.

She just does what she wants.

Who does she think she is?

Hmm. And who does that sound like?

My Aunt Denise.

I told her she couldn't afford a boat,

she bought a boat, now she's
a lady living on a boat.

Okay, well, it's nice to know
someone with a boat,

but does anyone else come to mind?

The lady at the deli counter.

She keeps telling me to get the combo.

I don't want the combo.

I just want a sandwich
and a drink, not the chips.

Oh, my God.

Caroline is me.

She sure is.

How do you like them apples?

♪

And now we have another chip to give out

to mark a sobriety milestone.

Deb, come on up.

Whoo!

Uh, I just want to thank everyone

in this room for all your support.

I am especially grateful
that my daughter, Lainey,

is here today, and that means
the world to me.

I'm proud of you, Mom.

[Applause]

I can't believe my mom has been
sober for a whole year.

Congratulations on five years sober.

- [Applause]
- Wait, what?

She's been sober for five years
and she never called me?

And I know Deb's two sponsees
would like to say a few words.

Maybe she was using the five
years to work on herself

and she wasn't ready to be a mother yet.

Deb has been basically
like my mom. [Chuckles]

Deb's been like, uh, my mom, too.

Huh. Not ready to be a mother yet?

- But way prettier.
- [Chuckles]

And not dead.

I knew if I came here
I'd get hurt again.

♪

After my mom's stunning
admission at the meeting,

I needed some time alone,

which Coach wasn't gonna let me have.

Come on, Lainey. Open up.

Lainey.

All right.

I guess you win.

Nothing much I...

[Grunting]

[Sighs] Come on, Lainey.

We'll go get mozzarella sticks.

I'll eat fried cheese for you.

She's not supposed
to be their mom, Rick.

She's supposed to be my mom.

I understand. Sometimes...

Hey. What's going on?

What's going on?

What's going on is that you've
been sober for five years

and didn't even think
to reach out to me?

Do you know where I was five years ago?

I-I was broke and in Hollywood.

I had no clue what to do with my life

[voice breaking] and I really
could've used a mom.

Why didn't you reach out
to me after you got clean?

I mean, five years?

I came close. So many times.

Right before I got my last
five-year chip,

which I didn't get
because I fell off again, hard.

And when I got sober, I didn't
know how long it would last.

I still don't know.

So, we're just not supposed
to have a relationship

because of something that might happen?

I thought if there was
any chance that I could

hurt you again, I-I just couldn't do it.

What if it's what I wanted?

Don't I get a say
in something like this?

Well, I guess I didn't...
I didn't think of it like that.

Yeah, I guess you didn't.

Now you have plenty of time
to think about it.

Come on.

[Engine starts]

♪

[Tires squeal]

Wilma had seen herself in Caroline,

and now she had some
good advice to pass on.

So, I guess you ended up
in detention anyway.

Eh. Gave me a chance
to perfect my catapult.

Do you know why your robot fried itself?

Yeah. I guess I may have used

a battery with way too many amps.

Caroline, just because you're
the smartest kid in the room

doesn't mean you know everything.

Life is a group project,

and you'll find that other
people have good ideas, too.

It's a lesson I'm still learning myself.

I hear you.

I missed out on a whole bunch
of chips and boat rides.

I get that less.

And if you ever feel like
talking about anything,

from one misunderstood
genius to another...

I'm here.

Thank you, Ms. Howell.

Wilma had gotten through to Caroline.

Meanwhile, I was trying
to leave my mom in the past

and get through to my cheerleaders.

Time, time, time!

Okay, ladies, it's your time!

Let's get out there and do this!

I'm proud of you!

[Cheers and applause]

[Alanis Morissette's "Thank U" plays]

♪

Good job tonight, girls.

♪

What are you doing here?

I know I missed a lot
in the past in person,

but just so you know,

I was always thinking about you.

You kept all these pictures of me?

Of course.

And this newspaper clipping?

Yeah. I look at that all the time.

It's me and Erica. [Chuckles]

Listen, I know I can't
make up for not being there,

but if you'd let me, I would love

to be part of your life again.

Okay. [Exhales sharply]

But let's take it slowly.

One day at a time.

Well, I know I can do that.

Thank you for coming.

♪ How 'bout them transparent
dangling carrots? ♪

Sometimes in life, we have
to give people second chances.

- ♪ How 'bout that ever elusive kudo? ♪
- Hey.

I was wondering if you guys
still had room on your team.

I have some great ideas for Eggbot Two.

I mean, along with all
of your good ideas.

♪ Thank you, India ♪

♪ Thank you, terror ♪

♪ Thank you, disillusionment ♪

A chance for them to prove
that the person they once were

isn't who they're always going to be.

You know, this reminds me
of a book called,

"I'm Sorry, CB, I Was a Big Dope.

You're a Valuable Member of the Team."

Classic book, clunky title.

But don't worry. We're good.

Now let's go help these kids
put Eggbot back together.

All for one and one for all.

[Imitates machinery whirring]

Let's go.

[Imitates machinery whirring]

Because the truth is, people can change,

and often for the better.

You just have to keep
an open mind and an open heart.

- ♪ How 'bout me enjoying... ♪
- And at the end of the day,

nothing feels greater than
watching the important people

in our lives aspire to be the
best versions of themselves.

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Oh, oh ♪

♪ Oh ♪

Because in doing that,

it helps you become
the best version of yourself.

You can do it.

I don't know if I can.

I have faith in you.

JOHNNY: This is super complicated stuff.

It is. But think hard.

You know the answers.

I've got it!

I have the solution!

♪

♪

Ah!

♪

You did it!

You missed my hand.

No, I was doing the thing
from the movie.

- What thing?
- The now classic

Matt Damon-Stellan Skarsgard

start-out-high-pass-each-other-

continue-around-and-meet-down-
low-high-five.

Oh, yeah. They did do that.

- Of course they did.
- You wanna try it again?

Mm, we kinda lost the moment.

I'm not feeling it now.

- You can do it.
- I don't think I can.

I have faith in you.

You're just repeating
what I said to you earlier.

- I am.
- Let's do it!