02x06 - Pistolgeist

[bunniefuu]

♪♪

Ah-hyuck.

H-h-h-hit it ♪

Like father, like son ♪

You're always number one ♪

Yes!

Best buddies, best pals ♪

Yeah ♪

You always seem

To work things out ♪

Can't you see

You're two of a kind ♪

Lookin' for

A real good time? ♪

Whaa-ooo-h*-h*!

A real good time ♪

Repor

To the goof troop ♪

And we'll always

Stick together ♪

Always

Stick together ♪

We're the goof troop ♪

The best of friends

Forever ♪

Side by side

Wherever we go ♪

We're always ready to roll ♪

Now gimme a beat ♪

We're the goof troop ♪

And we always

Stick together ♪

Gawrsh.

We're the goof troop ♪

The best of friends

Forever ♪

Now we're calling

Everyone ♪

Come along

And join the fun ♪

Report to

The goof troop ♪

La do be da bop

La ba do bop ♪

Yeah!

[Sighs]

Oh, and remember, we've

Got to fax the office

Because I need that escrow

Point spread installment shee

First thing in the morning.

Now, the rutabaga--

Mommy, mommy, mommy,

Such a pity,

Work, work, work,

When you could be having

Oodles of fun read me a story.

Honey,

I'd love to, really,

But right now mommy's

Got a deal to close

And dinner to make.

So can you ask dad

To be a real pal

To read to you?

Absolutely!

With fiduciary inverse

Investment strategy

In the commode,

A condo a day keeps

The tax man away.

[Laughing]

Why don't you ask pj?

He hates football.

Now, come on, you bums!

Get--oh, you--

[Pete muttering]

[Max]

Fire! Fire! Fire!

Blast 'em! Yes!

Go, peej!

10 More points, and--

Pee jaay!

[Pj]

O.k., Easy, easy, peej.

[Max]

Good job! Good job!

Hang in there!

O.k.! Get over

That mountain!

Hey!

I'm so awesome!

I'm so awesome.

Max, I'm so awesome.

Hang in there!

Get over that mountain!

Yeah. Easy, easy.

Easy on the control.

Get down. Down.

O.k.

Hiya, peejster,

Old pal of mine.

How about some

Wholesome fun

For a change?

Dad wants you

To read me a story,

Which I just happen

To have right here.

Yes, your very fave--

p*stol, move it!

Peej, look out!

[Boom]

The adventures

Of inky

And her fabulous

Inkymobile.

You know it.

You love it!

It's now. It's wow.

Oh, peej,

You were so close.

So whatta ya say,

Old bro of mine?

Do you realize you jus

Flushed eight months

Of intensive training

Down da commode?

You don't wanna

Be my buddy, either.

Do ya?

Oh, p*stol,

I've read you that book

42,800 Times.

You oughtta have I

Memorized by now!

You never read me

The last chapter.

Because you always

Fall asleep

Before the last chapter!

Excuse me. Pardon me.

Could you come here?

Thank you. Over here.

Why don't you just say no?

[Gong]

Watch.

p*stol

Ahemno.

Waaaaaahhhh!

Nobody will read to me!

I don't have anybody

To play with!

4, 3, 2, And

Cue the mom!

Pj! Are you being

Mean to your sister?

See what I mean?

I believe you,

I believe you.

How do ya get her to stop?

Huh? Oh,

That part's easy!

Waaaahh!

Ahem!

Yes, p*stol,

I will read to you.

O.k.

Sheesh! That has

Gotta be one hot book.

Inky's the greatest pal

A girl ever had!

Takes her friend phyllis

To the planet zarblat

Where they have all sorts--

Wait a minute!

Not the planet zarblatt?

Whoa. Why would you

Want to read about I

When you could go there?

You can't go, doofus!

It's only pretend.

Pj, didn't you tell her?

Tell her?

That's the problem

With having a big brother

Who flunked science.

This is obviously

An army-surplus g-1b

Mobile teletransporter.

A what?

Heck. We could make you

One in nothin' flat.

Better than fred's, too.

His was steam-powered.

Really?

Piece of cake.

Peej, we'll need

Some frammisoleum,

Couple atomic

Condensifiers,

Crayonerator.

Oh, oh, do you

Got some wire?

We'll

Need lotsa wire.

Be right back!

Careful.

Watch your step.

Paint's still wet.

Very delicate.

O.k.

Presenting, da da-da-da!

Your very own

Inkymobile!

[p*stol]

Wowsers!

Step right in.

Try it out.

Take you right to zarblatt.

Stay there for hours.

Days.

Have fun.

O.k.

Bye!

Bye!

Yes!

Yes!

Brilliant, my man!

Hey, what are friends for?

World record, here I come.

[Footsteps]

p*stol.

I thought you'd be halfway

To zarblatt by now.

Would if I could,

But I can't.

There's a jillion

Buttons on it!

What do I look like,

A rocket scientist?

In the book, inky

Drives the inkymobile.

Inky?

[Whispers]

Oh, inky, yeah!

Gosh, I'm such a big dope.

What a couple

Of lamos, huh?

How could we

Have forgotten

To introduce

You to inky?

Oh, ha ha!

Oh, yeah, silly us.

How could we be so dumb?

Beats me. It's enough

To baffle the mind.

Now where is she?

Left her right here.

Inky!

Inky-dinky-do!

[Whistling]

Nope. Not here.

Not under here.

[Gasp]

Why, look!

There she is!

Pj, is this a con or what?

p*stol, she's sitting

Right on your bed.

Nope. Don't see inky.

Well, we do.

Oh, yeah. Let's see,

About 8'3", funny hat,

Little flower in her

Lapel thing, sort of?

Yeaaahh. [Gasp]

Inky! There

Ya are, girl.

Gimme five!

Well, now we'll jus

Leave you two alone.

Yeah, we're sure you go

Lots to talk about.

Places to go.

Planets to save.

Stuff like that.

Later!

Brilliant, my man!

Hey, what are friends

For, dude?

[Blast]

p*stol! Hold it down!

[Rumble]

Whoa! What's going on?

[Pete] pj! Turn down

That video game!

Little sister revenge!

p*stol, pipe down!

Come on, stop it!

You're giving me

A headache.

[Pete] don't try

To pin it on her!

She doesn't have a video game!

[Pj]

All right! Come on out!

O.k., Kid.

The jig's up.

Where'd you hide

The monster boom box?

Where'd you get the

Sound effects tape?

Not to mention

The shaved ice?

Can you believe these guys?

Get real! My boom box

Doesn't have monsters.

And dad says you can't star

Shaving till the 9th grade.

Me and inky went to chapter

One of the book, schnook.

Chapter one?

Not inky and her pal

Save the mutant penguins

From bob the bad polar bear?

Bingo, big boy.

Dirty job, but somebody

Had to do it.

Huh?

Sure, inky, old pal,

Love to sit on your lap.

This is a sprussel brout.

He is not your friend.

But this is mom's macaroni

And cheese food stuff.

Almost as good as ice cream,

But yellower.

Who were you

Talking to, dear?

Talking to ink--

Talking to me.

To me.

I mean him. Right.

Yeah.

[Telephone rings]

I'll get it.

It's probably the office.

Pete, dinner, dimple-gums!

[Tv] nickel package.

The ball is snapped.

The cheerleaders are jumping.

It's goal to go,

Fourth down!

Whatta time to starve.

Time out on the field.

Yes!

Dad's hungry.

Dad needs more

Sprussel brouts.

I'm just gettin'

A second helping

Of veggies, dad, you know?

Back to the action.

Good boy. Make you grow.

Take all you want.

But eat all your cake.

Pass the pepper, please.

What? You call tha

A touchdown?

[Shouts at tv]

[Giggling]

What, are you blind?

[Burp] excuse me.

Pass the jam, son.

Nice to see a brother

Making his sister laugh,

But don't play

With your food.

O.k.? Makes your mom mad.

Hey! What are you doing?

What, are you blind?

Ah-choo!

Ah, dropped my fork.

[Pete] why, I ought to--

[p*stol] hey, inky,

How about some cartoons

Before dessert?

Not when dad's

Watching football!

Ahemsomebody

Say cartoons?

Oh, no, I have

A better idea, p*stol.

Why don't you come up

To my room and play?

Oh, why, pj,

Aren't you nice,

Wanting to spend some quality

Time with your sister?

He's on the 50,

40, 30. The clock

Is running out.

The 20, 15--oh, this

Is gonna be close!

The 10, the 5, the--

Wacka-wacka-wacka,

Boys and girls.

It's time for--

Remote control!

Remote control!

Where's

The remote control?

The stoopy

And nutsy show!

You! Gimme that!

Gee, dad, it was--

Every channel's

Got cartoons!

Gimme the tv station!

This is an emergency!

Every channel's

Got cartoons!

Aren't you the sweetest?

Trying to give p*stol

Some wholesome fun

Instead of tha

Mindless macho

Muck mongering.

Whatta ya mean

It's got to be my set?

Whatta ya mean

The game's over?

Whatta ya mean

The spikers won?

What do--they won?

They won! My team won!

Yahoo! Extra desser

For everybody!

It's on me! Ha ha ha ha!

Oh, p*stol! Hi!

What abou

The cartoons?

Inky and me

Seen all those.

Well, where ya goin'?

Goin' to chapter two.

Aah!

[Gulp]

p*stol!

Now!

So where'd she go?

Oh, no!

How about them kids?

Pals in a pod.

Birds of a feather.

Take after their dad.

And their momsie.

Ha ha.

Aw, the heck

With these dishes.

My team won.

My kids are pals.

I want to celebrate.

What would

My sugar squash say

To goin' out to the movies

With hers petey?

Ooh! Hoo hoo!

Cheese breath,

You're so debonair.

Oh, but where will

We find a sitter?

Pj could stay with p*stol.

They're getting along great.

Time he got his sho

At a a real job.

p*stol!

p*stol!

Come here.

Come here, please.

[Pete]

Pj!

Yes, dad?

Son, it's time

For you

To get some

Responsibility,

Earnin' power.

In short,

To get a job.

Now?

Babysitting for

Your sister, dear.

At 10 cents an hour, too.

But--but--

That's my boy,

Driving

A hard bargain.

O.k., Son,

20 Cents an hour.

Congratulations.

Back in a second,

Crumb cake.

Gonna say good nigh

To my marshmallow

p*stol pie.

[Gasp]

p*stol, are you asleep,

Cookie crumb?

Peej,

What are you doin'?

I don't have a blindfold.

You think I want to see I

When dad puts me in fron

Of the firing squad?

Good night,

Apple blossom cake.

Yours mommy and daddy will

Be back in a couple hours.

And until then,

You mind your brother.

[Max imitating p*stol]

O.k., Daddy.

Aw, her little voice

Is changin'.

Guess it's time for peg

To have that talk with her.

Ahh. You saved

My life, max.

Yeah, but it's only

A two-hour stay of execution

Unless we ge

Your sister home.

p*stol!

Hey, p*stol!

Ally ally oxen free.

Yahhh!

Hyuck! Evenin'

There, boys.

You come down

To help me

Trim the nigh

Blooming jasmine?

Oh, gosh, no,

Mr. G.

No, dad. We're jus

Looking for

Bugs.

Yeah.

Bugs.

Bugs.

Oh, uh,

Speaking of bugs,

Have you seen p*stol?

Oh, smooth, max.

Hmm. Well,

Last time I saw her,

She was tagging

After you, pj,

Asking you to be her pal

And play with her.

Oh, no. Not me.

She's got lotsa friends

To play with, mr. G.

There's, uhher

Dweeby friend gladys.

Got the mumps.

Her kindergarten class.

Camping in nantucket.

Mom and dad?

Get real.

Well, maybe she's found

Herself an imaginary friend.

Had me one o' them.

Irving his name was.

Ah-hyuck! Heck of

A skittles player.

Dad, there are

No such things.

Of course there are.

You remember your

Imaginary talkin' cow?

Ah-hyuck!

You 'n' old moophus

Used to go

Flyin' out your window

'N' jump over the moon.

Ah-hyuck!

Saw it myself.

Heh. Moophus?

Dad, I was only a kid.

Wow. Hey, do you still

See moophus?

Peej!

Aw, he went away

As soon as max found

A real friend--

You, pj.

That's how imaginatable

Friends work.

They come when ya need 'em

'N' leave when ya don't.

Say, does this sorta

Remind ya of somethin'?

Yes! That's it!

Thanks, mr. G.

I got it.

We dig up a real pal

For p*stol,

And inky's history.

So who's the lucky chump?

Cousin gertrude.

Wait. She's in boise.

Cousin megan's in the navy.

Dial-a-pal costs

5 Bucks a minute.

Hey, how about, uh, you?

Oh, come on, max.

How can I be her friend?

I'm her brother.

[p*stol yells

Like tarzan]

What was that?

Chapter three--

The giant gorilla

Masked ball.

What kinda weird stories

Y'been readin' that kid anyway?

I mean, whatever happened

To mother goose

And little red riding hood,

And--

Whoa!

[Jungle music plays]

Jolly show,

Inky ol' pal.

Our inkymobile works?

[Grrarr]

Thank you so much

For the dance,

Spencer my good man.

Leave 'er alone!

Back! Back!

Hyah!

Jerk!

It's o.k.,

p*stol, honey.

You're safe.

You busted my inkymobile!

Now how are we gonna

Get to zarblatt?

Well, now, p*stol,

You don't have to go

To zarblatt anymore.

You--look, wait,

Wait, wait, wait.

We can read my

Toxic slime comic books.

Yeah, I'm tired

Of them, too.

I got it! We'll play

With my bug collection.

Oh, c'mon. I'm jus

Tryin' to be friends.

Bugs 'n' slime?

Some friend!

I don't need you.

I got inky!

Well, at leas

You won't get k*lled

When your dad comes home

And finds her gone.

No. Just slightly maimed

When he finds her crying.

[Sigh] she doesn'

Want me for a friend.

She just wants

Inky!

[Knock on door]

[Knock knock]

Whatta ya want, pj?

Ha ha ha ha ha!

It's not pj.

It's your

Best friend--

Ta-da! Inky!

Ha ha ha ha!

Come on, peej.

Ya think I was born

Five years ago? Brothers!

No, really. It's me,

Right outta the book

And ready to have

Fun, fun, fun!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Hey, where ya goin'?

To zarblatt,

The long way!

Ready, inky?

Here we go!

No! p*stol, wait!

Come back!

Max, c'mon.

p*stol, you're

Gonna get me k*lled!

If she doesn't,

I'm gettin' you

On a diet.

[Pj]

p*stol!

Oh, there goes my life,

My future

On this very planet,

My 25 cents an hour.

20. Think, peej.

Got to be somethin'

That'll bring her back.

No. There's nothing

I got that she wants, max.

All she ever wanted

Was me to read her

This dumb boo--yes!

Hey, p*stol!

Chapter four!

Ahem. "Inky 'n' her pal

"Knew their task

Was not done.

Had to save the planets

One by one."

Hey, the last chapter!

"Ink said, check it out,

No time to rehearse.

"We're gonna save

The whole universe!

"And so together,

Inky and her chum

Blasted the monsters

With bubble gum!"

After 'em, ink.

This is the par

I never heard before.

"And then, between

A set or two of tennis,

They blew away

The slimy menace."

Whoa, max, you got to

Check out this gnarly dude

With squid-suckers

Instead of eyes.

"And in their las

And final caper,

They ka-boomed

The grisly gronks

To vapor."

[Snoring]

"They ate with orks,

And, if you please,

"They danced with the snarfs

And drank with the snees.

"Inky teased her hair

In a big beehive

And jumped up,

Gave her buddy five."

[Giggling]

"And said it was time

She went away

"But would return

Perhaps another time,

Perhaps another day.

The end"?

Oh, man, where's

The rest of the story?

What happened to the dude

With sucker eyes, huh?

Continued

In the next book--

I got the whole series.

Aren't they neat?

Inky meets

The mutant gazebo,

Inky goes to dairyland.

The cows turn ou

To be vampires.

Inky eats earthworms,

Inky in the tar pits.

Huh?

You are? But

Yeah.

I suppose he is.

For a brother.

[Sniffle]

Miss ya, too.

You talkin' to someone?

Tellin' inky goodbye.

Ahh, she's leaving?

Says I'm in good hands.

Well? You gonna

Wave goodbye

Or just stand there

Being rude?

She's wavin' to you.

Eeeeep!

Know what ya mean.

Kinda gets ya

Right here.

[Peg]

Pj, we're home!

Aw

[Pete]

Ain't that cute?