01x13 - Flossed in the Woods

[bunniefuu]

St warm for you yeah Bridges of Madison

County rent to Inc case the tape breaks

okay I cannot wait a whole weekend to

ourselves oh just your mom me and Clint

I still think you two are passing up a

great weekend relaxing in the sun

canoeing on the water flaing on Calamine

poking at splinters pass thanks thanks

but I've only been a vegetarian for

three months now but you guys can eat

whatever you want charred cow Daddy

you know uh you dads can stay home

too yeah yeah you can just drop us off

on our own we'd be fine just the three

of you well I'll bring Christine she

loves the outdoors yeah I'll bring miles

he's been

Outdoors I'm hearing your need to uh

hang with your posi but you're not old

enough to Camp by

yourselves but Dad you've taught us so

much about self-reliance and survival in

the woods yeah this is our big chance to

prove that we can get poison oak on our

own don't look at me I'm off duty at 6

o' tell you what Brian and I will Camp a

few sites away from your kids hollering

distance in case something goes wrong

what could possibly go wrong

[Music]

[Music]

a

[Music]

after we pitch the 10 let's

go Christine what are you

[Music]

doing so we're all set food stady yard

gear

hello hello yeah sure no facts that

aligns for Miles yeah I'm I'm loving

[Music]

it well that's the last of

it now remember seven campsites due east

oh that's uh left here some emergency

supplies just in case there aren't going

to be any

mer myed

emeres I give him 3

hours

[Music]

Optimist pretty dirty trick pal asking

me to go camping in front of my parents

miles B nature newbie see those tall

green things over there those are trees

yeah so where are the washrooms

huh out there out where how do I explain

this to you in Miles terms when you go

camping you go out into the woods and

you use the virtual

toilet the virtual

toilet whoa this is the men's tent you

have to prove yourself by sleeping

outside one night alone har

har fine then I'll sleep here but you'll

be in trouble when the mosquitoes eat me

alive oh you'll get eaten all right by

uh nah he probably doesn't come this far

north forget it what oh no one just uh

The Laughing

Phantom he's your basic bloodthirsty

Beast big hairy flesh mangling teeth and

he thinks it's hysterical that no one

believes in him until it's too

late so he laughs and he laughs and he

laughs you know cuz it's dinner time I'm

staying with

Dad oh nice work Tucker how many more

camping trips do you expect to get after

Horus

squeals Horus wait it was a joke you can

sleep in the men's t

[Music]

thought macaroni meatloaf jelly ham

Tucker you know Christine and I don't

eat this stuff well I I've got some

marshmallows in my pack yeah that's a

vegetable

right we could never e a cal that's what

we said Tucker thans are Bells a laugh

he's a

PE well at least we have a lot of drinks

to fill up on good thinking Christine

why don't you pass me a good

oldfashioned cream soda oh there isn't

any

What tomatoes celery carrots rud Vega

Christine this is a liquid

salad I knew they'd SC it's a good thing

you brought extra

stuff uh

see I I I I packed all the food all the

food and then my my pack got like really

really heavy and so I had to choose

and um kibble

anyone

fine

okay we'll go and pick us some dinner

come on

miles let's go catch us some

dinner come on

guys Horus uh uh it's not a waterproof

camera well miles the fish can't wait

all day yeah yeah like they're really

busy okay now put it through the loop uh

like this yeah all right and

then tie the knif right

[Music]

here look I just don't think we're ready

to make the jump from uh frozen fish

sticks yet what are you kidding me I

mean we have been training for this our

entire lives video games miles I mean

it's all hand eye coordination come on

[Music]

miles what are you doing I am um I'm

practicing my hand eye

coordination watch out it's build with

the sorcerer got him

no looks like we better work in our eye

hand corination

huh my zap boy lies under the

water my zap boy just kind of fell

out my zap Bo lies covered in

algae what uses is a z boy to

Trout don't go away Flash Forward on

Disney hello dinner this is definitely

edible isn't that the kind that builds

up in your liver and kills you a month

later

you know what I'm in more of a dandelion

mood stupid fish pass up free LMS just

because we put deadly hooks in

it well uh hot dogs cooperate you want

to fire up your stove and roast us some

meat

byproducts my stove yeah your stove you

said you were going to bring some

state-of-the-art camping gear or

so where does the propane go is it hard

to light I didn't say state-of-the-art

camping gear I said state-of-the-art

gear it's perfect for

camping

fine well cook for a

campfire um I just need you to help

me get some

firewood so

uh or you could just relax while I do

all the

work don't worry Christine dogs have

great senses of Direction remember last

you come home where last we fell down

this huge mountain got shot and

practically lost its leg and still it's

just a

movie

Steve Steve you dumb

stupid hey no one yells my dog like that

oh you better run Stevie because when I

get my hands on you Pi on someone your

own side she's going to be twice my side

she ate her entire food supply stop

yelling I can yell at anyone I want to

you cannot this is nature and you are

not supposed to yell

how's the

soup

yum I can't take it anymore please

laughing bantom come and get us and put

us out of our

I read there's been 16 disappearances

around here in the last 8

years do you

think I don't know horse I mean that

would only make what two victims a year

a beast that size would be far

hungrier what do you think Miles oh yeah

I mean you know even a small beast at

what 500 lb would feed a couple times a

day average size human wouldn't last a

week Tucker stop it what he's my brother

I can terrify him all I want just like

you terrified Steve now she'll probably

never come back oh she'll come back

there's still a few money wieners left

to bury I'm not hungry I'm too worried

about Steve I'm going to bed what is

with everyone tonight why would our dad

say if they saw us who a riot I don't

care if I ever go camping again

I'm going to bed

too at least Christine and I are still

friends but it's only 7:00 we're

supposed to stay out laid to be

irresponsible and

foolish we're not the James Brothers

we're going to stick together

right wow that would mean like 52

victims a year

good

night I'm sorry I forgot the air

mattresses that's okay I'm just so cold

and numb I can barely feel the

Rocks I'm sorry I'm just really worried

about

Steve e pristine she R put her outside

no there might be animals out there you

know what I have had it with this mut

okay if it weren't for her and her dog

food I wouldn't be going to bed wet and

hungry fine if I want to be frozen stiff

anyways I might as well go outside and

sleep with my dog at least she had her

distemper shot fine fine fine no no no

your friend before you share a tent it's

not my fault the dog got wet this tent

should have a

vent see the way you Shuffle real car

isn't by clicking some mouse button you

got to use your hands wait did Shuffle

by hand um I don't think

so ah great well I mean at least

computer screens glow hey we wouldn't

have this problem if you hadn't suck the

batteries dry in your boom box it

doesn't matter now cuz you know what

cards are stupid camping is stupid and I

think starving is stupid well if you

brought the stove like you were supposed

to or at least kept an eye on the cooler

while I was fetching wood we would have

had a great

supper this is hopeless this is

absolutely hopeless tomorrow we're going

over to my dad's site we're admitting we

were wrong and we're going home brother

what a waste of time says you says

you what was that don't know but it came

from out there

with the Lycian phantom

don't go away illegals of course we made

up the phantom story okay I don't know

maybe a band so now what huh oh I think

it's pretty obvious it's me going to the

woods and get eaten we get blazed

so inside nature so great where all the

streetlights huh

smiles Hakan

Tucker what are you doing here just

making sure that you don't get eaten by

the Phantom oh stop the Phantom is not

gonna get us oh why did you give him

some of your soup

don't make me use this again

I don't know but it was big and still

out there

oh I made the fighters out too Oh any

worse sure they could wait the emergency

pack my dad left for us maybe there's

like a flare gunner food Oh or cell

phone yeah

Plus lost like that'll help us with a

phantom remember marshmallows are mostly

sugar love that

see things got worse already well I'm

glad to see her a minute demise is so

amusing

hotdogs check so when the flesh-eating

monster comes or whatever it is it will

go right for the appetizers buying us

the main course some extra time to

escape but wouldn't the hotdogs attract

a flesh-eating Beast

this vegetable juice did wonders for

your seat Becca oh yeah it's uh it's

almost as good as from a can I think we

pulled it off yeah what are the odds

Steve I'm sorry for yelling at you so

much

did you hear something don't worry

I guess I shouldn't have yelled at you

so much either tuck

go ahead and terrify her Asahi one

Thanks hey will

no but you know the one thing the wood

salve that the city doesn't monster

known besides that a Starsky talk about

widescreen

oh yeah I can see Orion oh there's a

three-headed comedian Larry Curly and

Moe 99 bottles of beer on the wall 99

bottles boys will step outside the flock

we've got

interesting solution to the raccoon

problem well we thought that some mouse

well we would have slept better if the

tentpole head and sliced right through

the roof letting all the mosquitoes in

and the stench of the swamp that

somebody suggested we can't this night

but we were able to see the raccoons run

off with our food well you kids did a

fine job we were thinking of going down

to the pancake house for some breakfast

but seeing as you have everything under

control

no no no no we'd love to join you just

keep you company J well that's just

gonna picture first for your mom so

they'll see how much fun you had camping

everybody smile