01x01 - Growing Pains

[bunniefuu]

while he is a successful attorney and he

still lives in Mayfield with his wife

Mary Ellen and their daughter Kelly what

a doll for a long time the beaver lived

out of town but after his marriage broke

up he came home with his sons kipping

Oliver

so we're together again all discovering

and rediscovering the joys and pitfalls

of that magical time we call childhood

and that's what our series is about

you

you

Maryellen chicken Oh volley up Mary

Ellen I got a handy to the boys when

they said they were going to build a

tree house I did think they'd follow

through with it they were so excited

laughs by drawing their little

blueprints so that could be the hoist

working together without fighting

you know why this is definitely the best

thing that we've ever built together

Peru that's what you said about that

boat we built right before you almost

drowned oh yeah that was great

remember we had to sneak me into the

house because I was soaking wet then we

try to dry my sneakers on the on the

heater and they melted hey beaver I'd

like to finish this before the kids go

away to college you know Wally this is

exactly why I came home so my boys could

have the same kind of carefree childhood

that we had with milk in the icebox

cookies in the jar and a tree house in

the yard first it was the backyard

carnival and our tree house what does

that come up with all this stuff from

all those books if I I'm how to make

sure your kids don't hate and kobir I

really believe that stuff I don't know

they caught so much I think you kind of

have to you know a tree house might be

okay we can go up there and spit on our

enemy Oh gross

the kids got a point a guy could do a

lot of stuff up there is not allowed to

do in the house maybe we can even see

the bald spot in the mailman Kelly our

sickly horse or dad to give it a chance

back whenever one egg

Oh

oh wait a minute one step at a time

let's go look at the blueprints how

about if you and I go paint the shutters

okay just as long as you clean off the

rest

laughs I got in trouble for sneaking

them in the dishwasher okay now here's

where we are right now sticking this

window right here and putting that one

be all set Oh Oliver

now you know better to use a power tool

without permission

oh yeah can I use the drill now well

Ashley I was saving that job for your

brother but I've got something much more

important for you to do Wow the chainsaw

well not exactly but you see it's the

same principle this one takes much more

strength though sandy to drill Oliver

have you ever had a real bad splinter

but kind you have to squeeze real hard

use the tweezers to get it out oh yeah

well that's why everyone's counting on

you so the death kind of thing just

won't happen okay now here we go what

safety goggles on ready okay

isn't it fun Kel now let's see if you

can do it ah my hand Wow

Oliver I thought you were outside

working on the tree house they need me

oh really of course they do

Mary Ellen's out there right down sandy

free grandma how old were you before

someone let you use a power drill 47 you

see about this big Tiki mask at a

charity auction and your grandpa Ward's

that he had no intention of hanging at

the living room so I did it myself

broke three nails doing it 247 do I got

a week that boom of course not

I guess you've never built nothing with

my dad he still treats me like I'm a

baby oh come on you're exaggerating

I am NOT saturating he won't let me use

the drill do you want me to buy my own

clothes and whenever we go out for

dinner

she still orders for me Oliver you're

only nine years old one of these days

you're going to do those things by

yourself until then will you be a good

boy take your shoes off when you're

lying on the bed

grandma takes on a baby too

hut two Hut three

hike oh hey you know there's possibly

kid ready when you go out for a pass I

wish I could spud but the sheer velocity

of one of my passes would scent your

growth come on he's having a rough time

at home so lay off huh Freddie yeah lay

off me Freddie down Fido look it's not

that I don't feel for you kid but you

gotta stand up for yourself

my old man gave me any guff I'd good

afternoon sir oh well if it isn't the

cleaver bruise yes your dad's still

giving you haircuts a home next time

tell him to turn on the lights

why dad I didn't know you were home

already

yes Frederick I thought this afternoon

would be an excellent opportunity for

suspense while are you tying together

so you want to watch the game with me

kid another time perhaps I'm

entertaining suit yourself

oh and don't be making any plans for

this weekend more quality time sir

no more a lesson in responsibility come

on you're gonna clean out the garage

Oh point of interest sir are you aware

that most experts agree that the best

way to teach responsibility is by

offering an incentive you want an

incentive clean out the garage you're

going to military school for foot sir

Oh dad if they call from the

construction site so I say that you're

out shopping for materials or visiting

an injured worker all right good

how much do you want I want far too

modest to put a price tag on my Labor's

to three bucks surely you jest 510 750

deal you know did all right

kidding okay

kip cleaver a golden opportunity is just

knocked on your door Saturday you're

hired to help me and clean up the garage

forget it Freddie you're not gonna

sucker me into doing your dirty work for

you again it's your loss off

I'll help I'm a hard worker I can do

anything

Jason - this Kip can uh except for

eating a banana in one bite he's a

spunky little guy like you but I hope

you realize child labor laws prevent me

from painting full-scale I was a buck

and a half sound ally your guys deal boy

I can't wait to tell daddy got a real

job no son of mine is gonna work for any

of the Haskell's and that's final you're

just saying that you don't want me

working for anybody Oliver when your

father says no you're gonna have to

learn to respect it

thanks mom but I can handle this son

you've got the rest your life to work

how's your time to play that's why we

built a tree house

tree houses are for babies I'm not never

going up there

Oliver before you say anything else that

you really don't mean I want you to

understand I'm doing this in your best

interest

how come every time you have my best

interests in mind I don't get to do

something that I want Oliver right now I

think it'd be in your best interest if

you're excused

high praise and frozen waffles you can

suck on till they defrost no thanks

good I'm on a hunger strike my dad

kisses me good night I don't want him to

smell the waffle on my breath

Holly why are you hiding under the bed

I'm in a parallel universe what dad

can't tell you what to do what they feel

about we're gonna Freddy's

that's a guy gets paid to work the dad

can't make him leave the door open when

he takes a bath well I guess I kind of

forgot what it's like kid tell you what

if you really want to do this I'll help

you first take off that stupid mask

Saturday morning put on your soccer

uniform and leave with me then how'd you

change clothes and go to Freddy's I

don't have a game

that'd be like flying and we're not

allowed

look golly it's not mine and let's just

say something that's not true

hey boy I can't meet on your age so I

can be a sneaky of you

- birthday party - one day I think these

parents really talk to each other I mean

I can't find how to roller-skate

ah find vaporizer I play with a vaporize

what are you looking for the other skank

you well you told me they didn't fit

anymore I was sort of hoping you would

get your new pair tell you what I have a

good idea honey

you go wrap the present and Kelly and I

will transplant this into the vaporizer

get away with this

now I'm surprised did you kiss any of

your brother go out without his jacket

yeah Kip you've got your nerve thanks

for reminding me grandma there you are

have a good game you too bye oh boy

you wear the jacket don't just carry

them hey Wally great idea let's say we

take the kids for a pony ride it over to

Burger land for lunch then to the

amusement park of Bellport thanks babe

I'm getting a lot of fun with my kid

this isn't a bribe Wally Oliver and I

are just having a little disagreement

all right it's a bribe hey but Kelly and

I get on each other's case a buyer a

Buick just take some time when we talk

it out yeah maybe that would be a better

idea too bad I was really looking

forward to the dragon coaster

I thought you were supposed to be

working I am working it just doesn't

look like because I management don't

change the channel

hey I was all set to come out here and

show you guys out the place is really

starting to shape up please sir stop

before your plaudits well my head I

wasn't referring to you Junior don't

give the kid a ham you've read my mind

sir I gotta get back the tube important

game sir it is for you I got your entire

college fund riding on this coffee

breaks over Chester and Clara - junk -

yeah what's the matter you're not scared

are you

hey no I'm sticking elevated to the 37th

floor no kidding I must not watch the

news that day and I'll put it in here

my dad's ashtray collection he's got one

from every restaurant he's ever eaten

be careful with this one it's our

Christmas ornaments my dad says he's got

something they're from before they had

aluminum trees

go to the head we'll make it look like a

robbery

how are you guys doing out your

slam-dancing

you broke our Christmas ornaments and

your ashtray collection Fredrik go wait

in your room I'll be in at half time

well what are you waiting for w*r peace

I'm supposed to get paid paid your old

man's gonna pay for this and if he's got

any brains you'll take it out of your

hide

well why didn't I do that this morning

good afternoon mrs. cleaver why that's a

lovely cleaver I do believe you're

wearing slacks and I must say they do to

come you Eddie

yes mrs. cleaver put a sock in it mom I

don't Eddie aah Theodore just the man I

wanted to see now it's not the money

mind you it's just that the only way

that young Oliver is going to learn from

this is if he has to pay for the damages

he did in my garage what damages what

damages I don't understand he had a

soccer game this morning no mom I think

that's what he wanted us to think look

I'll be honest with you my Dallas Cowboy

Cheerleader Christmas ornaments were

nice but they only had sentimental value

on the other hand my ashtray collection

was priceless

Eddie how long ago did this happen 100

and a half two hours fell asleep during

the game he isn't on there I'll go find

him I'm gonna call his friends hey wait

up baby I'll come with you the perfect

excuse to get out of going on my wife's

junior college graduation goodbye mrs.

Seaver bye Eddie

hey Wally right here no luck Oh check

that I got over vectors field first

thing how about the underpants over on

Maple Street don't you think I know

where kids hide in this town perky B how

should I know I can't even find my I

found it great no batteries Oh

Kelly good listen sweetheart will you

run upstairs and take that batteries out

of your Easy Bake Oven dad can I ask you

something later honey listen I really

need those batteries okay but it's

better on my back cake I just don't get

it Wally

what was so important about cleaning

that garage that Oliver would disobey me

well you know we ever remember when you

were out was age and dad wouldn't let

you take that paper route all I remember

was he was right and I was wrong and I

couldn't face him for days

I think that's what's happening to

Oliver right now you know sometimes you

try so hard to be a good parent you

forget what it's like to be a kid

you're then I don't thanks honey sorry

about your cake dad if you promise to

keep a secret but then you thought it

was no right to tell would still be

snitching Kelly do you know where your

cousin is Oliver you up there Oliver

what's done is done why don't you come

down so we can talk my god maybe not

even that

ollie I'd really like to talk to you

man-to-man

not too much street noise up here how's

the ventilation dad you cancer huh yeah

oh that's not why I came up here you can

use the ecology huh

no nothing tricky like that Oliver

disobeying me was wrong but I think I

know why you did it and you're not the

only one at fault here I messed up too

you did yes you see parents are always

trying to protect their children and

that's why I didn't see that you were

just trying to get me treat you like

like an older boy but that's not so easy

for me cuz I'm still a kid huh well yes

no it's just that every time I look at

you I still remember that little bundle

the nurse handed me so little and pink

Oh dad that was so long ago

I'm ready to rule for years

sl*very books not t*rture and I'm very

proud of you but that doesn't mean that

you're so big that you can't confront

once in a while welcome to the Haskell's

boy I really took it I thought Cornell

was gonna be a needed thing the whole

world there's nothing a big ship

kind of makes you feel like you're all

alone in the world well because when I

was a kid I don't think anybody got

gypped more than me but what I found out

was if I went to my dad he had a way of

making things better

I'd like you to feel this that you could

come to me - just cuz I wanted this

man-to-man talks that mean you can't in

here entire hug no it sure does

kids changed so fast when you learn all

the characters on Sesame Street they're

watching 60 minutes they're in such a

hurry to grow up remember we were to

guess it's hard for kids to imagine it

there'll be times when they wish they

could just spend their days fooling

around in a tree house you know beef not

such a little goof after all yeah who

ever thought I was everybody