01x25 - A Boy and His Snake

[bunniefuu]

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friendships come in many different

shapes and sizes and often the bond is

strengthened when others don't accept

your choice of friends but the true test

of that bond is the sacrifices you're

willing to make to hold on to that

special relationship and that's what our

stories about in this episode of still a

beaver

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I know it's right garage there with my

idea anything anybody of my own strength

will not be college young electable

I really think we ought to talk about

this garage sale again a lot of this

stuff is irreplaceable Bieber you just

don't want to part with your Red River

Sam book Wally I was whisperin rivers

man when he crossed the Pecos

I fought side by side with him as he

cleaned up human City I cried when he

went to the Senate how can you put a

price on that

[Laughter]

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my monkey this is going to be easy

well that here's the stuff we don't want

yep

that's your math book I need the library

so I can get my fake report that might

go through all that pretty Haskell's an

expert on snake once ago Pete good bring

the last time I asked her for help

you'd only do it if I put an apple on my

head so I could practice with a crossbow

when you say the grandmother does

I don't know that snakes dad didn't give

me a ride to the hassle sure can I drop

you at the corner I'm having a bad

enough day without seeing Eddie Haskell

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you know my services are very valuable

young man so what have you brought me as

payment a baseball card a shark's tooth

and a picture of a cards woman from

National Geographic

what would although my father might pay

handsomely for the tribeswoman if you

want my assistance these are my

conditions they come huh you have to

clean out the snake cages for life not

their life stupid your life second from

now on whenever i insult you I'd like

you to say thank you sir okay

pea-brain yeah thank you sir hi boys

Freddy I'm going shopping can I pick up

anything for you yeah get some apples

grandma's coming over Sunday Freddy

grandma's on her feet all day at the car

wash she comes here to rest no where was

I

oh yes unlocking the door the study of

snakes otherwise known as

herpetology use that your topic sentence

what's the topic sentence and never mind

we want to clutter your puny cranium

with anything definitely thank you sir

lizard modified breeding larger prey

this is a key snake her name is mrs.

Jackson after my history teacher

mr. Jack complainin and I can only bow

for the snake you know most people like

my father are scared samples of snakes

and in actuality they are gentle soil

and make great pets this is Arthur a

Python my first and favorite snake we're

closer than any kidness dog I'll let you

meet him but don't scare him you're not

sick are you

maybe he just thinking so I doesn't have

to take a test no he's really sick

how can you tell yesterday's lunch is

still alive you better get him to the

vet you're gonna take too long I can fix

that now you're a lovely catch you have

oh thank you it's a passion just send it

from a long line of Persian royalty hey

this is Arthur he eats cab

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that's my boy you don't name these how

does it breathe I don't know everything

I told you never to bring that thing in

here again dr. Maxwell boy are you the

lucky one

you know whenever you come in here this

place is empty sure I'm here today

because I'm worried about Arthur Oh what

seems to be the matter

well he's not eating and his eyes don't

have the usual twinkle

not eating her I think I know what's

wrong

I'm so glad sir Freddie you remember the

last time you brought Arthur in for his

checkup and I told you then he was

getting very old

I suppose my uncle Roy but he still eats

like a horse ready there's only one

reason a snake stops eating and I think

to avoid further suffering it might be

best if I put him to sleep

good idea I always get rotten after I

have a good night's sleep

you mean that kind of sleep he wants to

k*ll him you blockhead Freddy it's best

not to drag this out never I want a

second opinion

I want a specialist

well if you change your line

I'll be here thanks it's comforting to

know that the snake k*ller is just a

phone call away I've tried everything

vitamins hormones I didn't put him near

the TV when that faith healer came on

doesn't seem to behave any better

well there's one last hope laughs

therapy I thought it's book in the

library sky says that laughing insured

him how do you know Arthur has a sense

of humor oh he loves a good joke as much

as the next reptile a priest a rabbi and

a snake walk into a bar sneaking ready

you got two seconds to lock up those

slimy serpent he's never gotten over

that time you put a rattler in his lunch

box it was a sage I know but even the

paramedics couldn't convince him make

sure none of their lunches roaming

around either you can come in now

Frederick I'm very disappointed in you

you didn't do your chores today I'm

sorry sir you didn't take out the

garbage or pay my bill and I told you to

fire my secretary she showed up at work

again my apologies sir I've been

terribly busy with Arthur he's gonna die

hey that reminds me Kirk why don't you

call the hospital and find out how your

rich old man is doing died he went home

today

the whole bird

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don't worry out there I'm not going to

bed look Sonny that vent knows his stuff

didn't he help you get over the

chickenpox

I'm not gonna let off or die he's my

friend you won't be losing a friend

you'll be together forever you'll make a

nice belt it's gonna get better I know

it I'm gonna help them I don't care

about to spend every second with them

well I care you're not gonna spend all

day locked up with a bunch of vipers

you'll have plenty of time for that when

you take over the business there comes a

time when you have to put away childish

things be a man

not tonight we'll take your allowance

call my booking place a bit please put

your winnings enough lip already

tomorrow morning you take them to the

vet right after you fire my secretary

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tip Kelly Oliver I stand before you

without pretense we thought the

condescending charm you come to know and

love

why you may ask quite simply to ask for

your help alright alright try a

different tactic

help me please anyone for ice cream I

only take care of Arthur what yeah that

deformed asleep I gotta find some place

to hide him

Freddie you're really being sincere hurt

you truly sorry it's most impossible to

tell oppa Carolyn you will you'll do it

for me you've got to make sure that no

one don't find out about this don't tell

my dad

grown-ups have a way of sticking

together like nuns on a bus

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you're leaving so soon like this mrs.

cleaver anything wrong oh sorry I was a

little preoccupied

that's a lovely outfit you're wearing no

come back later we like a few last

moments alone with our clothes okay I'll

be down at the garage let me know when

you're a mostly ready to make the break

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hey wait a minute where are you going

with that did your grandmother tell you

to get my favorite rug for that garage

sale no you don't have to make excuses I

know what's going on here look guys I

want you to take this rug and put it

someplace nobody's gonna find it until

this garage sale nonsense blows over

I'm not let you down dad thank you guys

you know you're good kid hey Mike take

some money and go buy some ice cream or

something

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Holly I know you're in there I hear

voices you can let me know what toys

you've decided to sell it the garage

sale

Oh

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what do we have here

I see your baby better not get

contagious Oh real careful lolly

let's forget this girl stuff then go

outside and sh**t some move

well I and you can tell me exactly how

you want the Springfield about legendary

yeah you didn't hear the real story see

when we started to see them no one

expected this to be anything better than

a minor team you know what happened

don't want to touch that cross now

you're gonna k*ll it

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[Applause]

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[Laughter]

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nice tag you young man this might be a

good time to find out a few brothers

military school gives family discounts

and if you like I have a few suggestions

as to what you can do to punish your

kids that's okay we find our methods

very effective sure give them some more

milk and cookies that'll show a boy

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you're awful about this mrs. cleaver I'm

sawing you and Arthur could no man under

more favorable circumstances there is no

need to apologize Freddie just get that

thing out of my house it didn't break

from the dining room that's a strange

place to put him I didn't put him there

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[Laughter]

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holy waste it on that stupid snake and I

was gonna buy a new food tonight right

now in the back of that guy's van it's

probably cleaned out Arthur is taking a

turn for the worse okay Curtis try them

over to the bed no you can't there's

still hope no strides are being made

medicine every day I put a clinic in

Mexico that's doing wonderful things

she's going to the fifth no he is not

well calm down son

it's no big deal do I look upset Oh

Eddie can't you be a human being for

once look son for everything there is a

season and a time for every purpose

under heaven

the time to laugh a time to cry a time

to live and a time to die feel better no

all right I tried come on let's go no

you're never gonna get your hands on him

hey hey what's for dinner whatever you

want to make

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ready unlock the door come on out and

we'll talk I'll talk mom but I'm not

coming out I don't care what you do to

me Oh Eddie I'm worried about him he's

upset it's your fault you've always

gotta live every time he cried that

first day you brought him home from the

hospital you ran in to see what was the

matter have any feelings really not that

Arthur it's just a stupid snake not like

somebody that means a lot to us like

your uncle Larry that's Uncle Harry very

very what I'm trying to make a point

[Laughter]

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come on Arthur you've got to eat if you

don't you

you just gotta eat ready here let me in

your dad's gone here's some half some

little things I'm too upset to each

other's breathing is labored

don't you think maybe we should take him

to the vet no never

maybe I can make him better that's why I

have to stay out here

how about school I don't care about

school believe me tell you what you go

to school and I promise to come out here

every hour and check up on him what if

dad comes home well I can handle him

worst comes to worst I'll just tell him

my father's out here wait but I'm gonna

go out and see how hard good afternoon

sorry alright that's a handsome shirt

you're wearing well thought you might

like this a puppy

Wow why did you give me

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you see I told you should be fine didn't

have to

little rascal slithered through the

pearly gates on its own and when am i

checked down in law morning bed alone -

what went out and nothing was gone

he's father nice Elvis maybe the puppy

would help he's a cute little film but

sleeps outside though well there was the

other third aired look you did

everything you could for him and I'll

always have your memories I'm going to

take those away look at it this way he

had a long and happy life

so what should we call a puppy I know

you mean well mom but nothing could take

the place of Arthur's updating shoe he

was my friend he was always there for me

no matter what

sometimes I have a really bad day you

know the kind where the teacher keeps

calling on you and you don't know the

answers did you find out everyone but

you got invited to the big party

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no matter how bad the day was come home

and ours would be waiting for me feel

better

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pardon a great dog she'd run over to me

and lick my face and things just

wouldn't seem so bad I didn't know you

had a dog sir he wasn't just a dog he

was my friend I taught him to sit

healing right on command you like me all

the time most of the people I know

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okay you're not really gone you've

always got your memories kind of like

your darker help I guess you'll miss him

like I miss walk

life stinks it's okay you know I loved

him I know a lot of people just thought

he was a cold-blooded reptile a lot of

people think that about your dad

I'll tell you what how about we give

Arthur the best RP Nord your money can

buy Arthur would like that

we'll take a nice long trench out by the

rose bushes mulberry America that would

be a spitting farewell

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and while we're at it we put in that new

sprinkler system

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