02x08 - Does Not a Woman Make

[bunniefuu]

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all the way down my arm I could be

scarred for life

way to go pure flavor

let's g*ng kid thanks

thanks a lot aren't you gonna thank him

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cleaver could you hide

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could you lend me a dollar sure thanks

kid

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Kelly what type of the shoe is this

together

well I thought he didn't notice until he

tried to give out his bike

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maybe it should be a little bit higher

now to the right okay a little bit to

the left

Oh what's the difference well he's gonna

hate that thing no matter where you put

it oh I don't know by the time he

notices it'll probably be too

embarrassed to say anything hi honey

have the game go

cheer up sweetheart maybe next week you

lose me maybe I better get some

band-A*DS oh no need I've got them right

here

you carry band-A*DS around when you live

with Oliver Cleaver you can never be too

prepared my girl no she's turning into a

woman did you unlock the cable TV box

again just wondering oh I don't know I

never really thought about it

oh I remember exactly when it happened

to me it was a day your father was born

well see I think for me it was the day I

got my first bra I got home from school

one afternoon and my mom said she had a

surprise for me so she took me to Wars

and I thought oh boy an easy-bake oven

dead I got fitted for a bra and I walked

out of that store a different person Wow

do you think maybe I could get a bra

don't look at me quality and the beaver

never asked for a bra

good luck so what do you say mom can I

have a bra someday

that wasn't the day I had in mind tell

you what honey you can have a broad just

as soon as you're ready you think I'm a

baby don't you oh honey that's not true

your father and I are always bragging

about how mature you are for your age

sure you are Oh Kelly believe me we are

so proud of what a fine young lady you

really are

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I knew I should have gone for Artie

aardvark

she lost her game huh I'll go talk to

her Oh Wally wait honey she wants a bra

what for our little girl wants to be a

woman will we just let her watch soap

operas and eat chocolate with a joke

remember your sense of humor the fourth

reason that I married you I'll go

upstairs and see what brought this I'll

go with you no way

she cries you'll fold that's no way to

talk to your cousin but Dad she's weird

she never does any fun stuff anymore

maybe she just doesn't want to do what

you want to do today but Dad who

wouldn't want to dig up worms or slide

down a hill in a bog nobody I know dad

anyway well Oliver when I was your age I

couldn't figure him out either but after

all these years I finally come to

realization girls are kind of goofy

mr. Kelly never acted like a girl before

at least not around me she's probably

got a lot on her mind why don't you try

to be understanding what could she have

in her mind lots of things look what

well things you wouldn't understand how

can I be understanding if I don't

understand Kira why don't you go get

yourself an ice cream dad how come every

time we have a talk and I ask you a

question that you don't know the answer

to you send me out for an ice cream why

don't you get yourself a comic book too

Hana Hana where's Oliver going I sent

him out for ice cream

what do you want to know this time

straighten him out about women you know

Mom I'm sure glad I had boys so I could

pass on the benefits of my experience

I'm glad you like sure hate to see girls

eating all that ice cream hey bra

Mary Ellen's waiting out front oh thank

you dear we're gonna go shopping I'll

see you in about a week bye hey Dad you

look good today dad can I talk to you

sure dad look at me I changed in the

past year but what you see is more than

just a growth spurt I've matured I read

more than just the sports section now

I'm getting better grades except for

that D in geometry it's not my fault if

there's this personality conflict with

the teacher still I feel confident and

asking you to grant me this small

request

pretty Haskell and I know my proposal

before you say no yes

Freddie and I want a hitchhike to Fort

Lauderdale for Christmas vacation are

you done yeah No

dad I know what you're worried about but

all those stories about riots and

barfing contests are greatly exaggerated

here Oh dad I don't want any ice cream

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my mom don't be such a baby

come on what if this don't work not to

me

suppose it's like the movies and nobody

under 18 can do without a parent or

guardian you're buying a bra juice it's

not a machine g*n think about it I did

what about gym class

what if it's to tighten it cuts off my

circulation and I get an ugly Oh rabbit

jokes to my bluff like recently in the

post office who do you want Jason to buy

sodas for with your money you are some

other girl I should have known okay no

biggie

are you here all by yourself oh no I'm

with my mom she's driving around the

parking lot looking for a meter with

time on it my dad lost his job well we

were just out with your mom and dad last

night they didn't say anything about it

my father is a very proud man please

don't let homage you know bye bye

sweetie

bye baby that poor chowder poppy just

can't hang on to it job

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now plus we'd better leave before

something else happens

Kelly cleaver your life could go to way

either buy a bra right now and become a

woman it's been the rest of your life

being baby pumpkin rabbit ear

what's it gonna be may I help you ladies

yeah ma'am

she'd like to buy up with you a red one

all right sorry ladies but our training

bras only come in white ah

thanks anyways so take the white would

you like to try this on

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I have to go I have tickets to a

bullfight she hasn't been a woman very

long

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yep taking us out for dessert was a very

nice gesture but it's not gonna work

hey yeah I know wasn't gonna mention

anything about Fort Lauderdale but as

long as you brought it up as you can see

we'll be traveling exclusively on

federal highway and only through states

that are forced the seatbelt law here's

an itinerary I prepare make copies for

everyone

today what sure why don't you stick your

whole body in about a chocolate first

over why don't you wash it in a sink

like a human

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hi you seen Kelly lately what I'm her

best friend not just me john 'cousin

like you can you give her a message for

me

what no wonder Kelly doesn't hang around

with you anymore

yeah well she's a needle loose how would

you feel fine a fry or mom dad would let

you a beat are telling me this because

you want me to get the e I don't know

why everyone keeps saying you're so

naive

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over here and I got something for you

too did you talk to piggy huh yeah my

dad says I should try to understand you

even though you're acting against me and

I took a pic you here's a key and I

wasn't easy

so here why don't you get a bra nothing

sister she's got a million of a whole

bunch of other creepy down tell me don't

worry I got it all figured out

you put it on in school and take it off

before you get home that's what I had to

do and dad wouldn't let me wear my lucky

Underpants with all the holes in it why

everybody keeps and you're so naive keep

saying I'm naive thanks Ali

the last time I do anything nice for you

do I look like the kind of person that

would tell anybody

and I'm telling the shower

Oh Kelly you're a pioneer euro woman

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hi Kelly are you gonna be at soccer

practice tomorrow there's more to life

than just soccer

like what

next to each other in the cafeteria at

lunch today would you like to do that

I'd be delighted

great see you later

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Kelly

I had a real good time lunch today me

too

gonna be a slow shop later maybe maybe

I'll see their baby

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hi hi there

yeah mind if I join you no but you don't

play the piano

sure I do well you play very well what

do you say when I ever knock before I

marred him what do you want you gotta

help me out Sam you gotta tell them you

told us where are they oh well Freddie

no I don't interfere with my brother and

his kids are you a knock off the racket

what yes this isn't it's already

promised to four guys that could have

Freddie's room for as long as the rodeos

don't forget it Eddie and you can't do

this to me

we're talking about guys that k*ll their

own breakfast Eddie I'm sure the beaver

knows what's best for k*ll the beaver

the guy has trouble figuring out which

end of a sock to put his 40th

Eddie come on I want to show you you got

a minute yeah sure let me ask you

something wali if your son traded one of

his favorite toys for a bra would you

seek professional help your hypothetical

questions or did this really happen

Duffy's mother just called apparently

Oliver did just that

well he better not have traded that fire

engine I got him for Christmas

don't worry was the robot I gave him

hold on guys Oliver didn't get that bra

for himself I'll bet he got it for Kelly

isn't she a little young for one of

those things well that's exactly why we

didn't get her one now wouldn't you have

done the same thing oh that's a tough

one Wally I guess I would have given her

one

honey is that you

you she's under the bed again honey

listen we know ah we got you a bra

we should have realized just how much

you wanted one sometimes it's hard for

parents to admit their children are

maturing so we're gonna let you have

your own bra and you can wear it anytime

you want okay let's hurry in they're

rearranging your shoe bag come on out

right now oh that's our big girl no now

wait a minute buddy I didn't know come

on let's sit down and talk say whatever

you want but I'm never gonna wear a bra

again I wore one today and I've never

been so embarrassed in my whole life

except for that time you changed me at

the beach I didn't want to get sand in

the car not what we're talking about

here Wally honey you're gonna go through

a lot of difficult experiences growing

up I don't ever want to grow up that way

we'll never have to get a job pay bill

serve jury duty dinner for my husband

spot then I know some of those things

sound a little frightening especially

cooking dinner for your husband's boss

it was ten years ago you've given me a

little more notice I would have thought

that five hours was enough time to make

a lousy pork chop we'll discuss this

later I'm hiding from your problems

isn't the answer because then you'll

miss some of the fun times in life you

sure there's gonna be some ups and downs

I just want you to know that your mom

and I are always gonna be here to help

smooth things out you mean am I going to

get my first bra you'll come to the

store with me of course I will we can

even go tomorrow if you like

but I think I'll weigh in a little while

tomorrow me and Ollie are gonna fly down

the hill in a box

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you know Mom you're a genius running

that movie

well I knew Kip wouldn't want to

hitchhike after seeing blood in the

pickup boy I'll take boys anytime girls

are always in too big a hurry to grow up

at 7:05 Eastern on the superstation it's

America's favorite junkyard genius Redd

Foxx Tom Sanford & Son

then the NBA returned to the

superstation as the Dallas Mavericks

take on the Fosters nothing now stay

tuned for

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