02x23 - m*rder in Mayfield

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so you see x equals y y Stephanie easy

when you explain it Kim when I spent a

lot of time thinking about figures this

is Marla hi Marla what's your dad

oh he's at the hardware convention oh I

was talking to Kip oh he's upstairs with

Grandma trying to catch bird that flew

into the house they just open the window

they tried that to more fluent I think I

better go help him out

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could you show me how to make those

triangles again nothing would make me

happier

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spy log entry 1600 hours have observed

suspicious behavior she touched him the

Spider Woman must really want those

plans

how's that that's fine

usually a triangle has three sides but

I'm sure what you made has a name look

we'll try again okay dad I know we have

to keep Oliver but I'm not putting up

with his juvenile spy stuff anymore

Oliver are you bothering your brother

again cleaver undercover seven five six

nine two two three how many times have I

warned you about annoying people with

your spy kid

I don't spike it I have a super spy kid

the regular one doesn't come with a

periscope and radiation badge it's

orange

dad did you bring home any nuclear waste

let's go in the den and have a little

discussion about your imagination your

brother's the spy

come on Marlon I'll teach you how to

make a sandwich you mr. cleaver if you

didn't want that bird I'm sure my Python

would have appreciated it

Freddy if you're looking for Kip he's

helping Marla with her geometry oh yes

comfortable to put in travel brochures

in a casket actually mr. cleaver I was

looking for you you're pleasant and

still attractive wife said I might find

you here I take it this isn't a social

call au contraire Mon Ami

my father just purchased a pool table he

bought a pool table yes and he'd like

you to be mind you I'm only paraphrasing

here the first turkey takes to the

cleaners your father calls me last night

to borrow the money to make his loan

payment today he goes out and buys a

pool table my mother and I had one heck

of a time carrying an end to

let me get my keys and I'm gonna go talk

a little sense into your father

oh yeah been present when he sank his

life savings into that cat motel

now don't stick your nose where it

doesn't belong understand oh yeah I get

things real good when you explain stuff

to move that Hollerin okay then just

forget all about this spy stuff

and go outside and get some fresh air

but Dad what about the radiation out

my log entry 1700 hours

headquarters is looking to end my

mission but I can't let the free world

down white I Drive sir you have a permit

did Queen Isabella ask Columbus if

you'da boating license buckle up

where are they taking me animation

quarters why did I leave my tracking

device and the Donaldson's cat Annie how

could you buy this hey I asked him

nicely they'd give it to me they said no

hi Gert can you believe how lucky Eddy

was to find this in a vacant lot

hardly believe it myself I'm going to

the market honey what do you want for

dinner the best steak you can get a

baked potato a fresh corn and pecan pie

for dessert

when pick me up a couple of cases of

beer honey I don't think we can afford

all that oh well then just get the beer

Eddie she doesn't know anything about

this does she hey white clutter her mind

with little insignificant details I

don't believe this I go to all the

trouble to reorganize your finances

after your pizza parlor bombs and this

is how you show your appreciation by

buying this this monstrosity with the

money that was supposed to be for the

loan which I like an idiot cosign seven

Ball side pocket bingo

Eddie you are gonna get rid of this pool

table are you kidding I'd rather let

Kurt move back into the bedroom let your

wife sleep in your bed Hey Kurt's a fine

woman but she hasn't got the kind of mug

you want to wake up to look Eddie I

don't know what other assets you're

hiding but that loan goes into penalty

the end of business day Monday now if

you don't come up with a loan payment

you are gonna lose everything

yeah I get the money somehow that's what

I'm afraid of

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spy lockup tape that was close but if

caught and tortured

I will tell nothing

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Hey lumber ooh it's your best buddy

Eddie hey listen I saw you down at the

teller machine this morning looks like

you lost some weight

yeah well whatever you're doing it's

working I'd say listen town would you

happen to have a couple of our tide me

over until Tuesday hey same to you lardo

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the things my father's taught me hey Jim

get that I don't want any of your

half-baked excuses Freddie I want the

money you owe me and I want it now

greetings and salutations to you too so

what happens I have your money right

here for stamps Freddie just stamps Eli

Whitney commemoratives I want to take

Marla to a concert not male heard that

Freddie okay m'kay well heat up my dad's

closet and prove some parental pockets

squirt you stay here in stangard

if my father starts heading for his room

start bleeding or something yeah hey

when I'm not around

I've never seen my wife squirrel away

any money uh you mean put it in her

mouth and keep it there for the winner

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why what do we have here you little

rascal you got more smarts than when I

gave you credit for

hey Bobby it's me don't worry about the

loan payment I just wrecked gold

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mr. Haskell just kissed me just to find

out why

by luck update new activity days I guess

being a spy you know driving fast cars

and sucking poison netted people your

cars are wreck are you sure you're okay

I think so you know I can't imagine what

happened to the brakes Eddie just fixed

them this morning the good thing there

wasn't anyone in that church

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nope for future use don't ever hire mr.

Haskell if it's my ejector seat he tried

fixing mrs. Haskell's car and she almost

got busted a real bad

hey wait a minute

now if you don't come up with a loan

payment you are gonna lose everything if

the money somehow that's what I'm afraid

of

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and then can't imagine what happened to

the brakes and he just fixed them this

morning mrs. Haskell's insurance you

know this ain't goofing around anymore

mr. high schools in the K*llers wife she

said she's jr. Cameron could those

hockey pucks

forget it rody last year she was weak

with malaria she's not home okay why

don't you go peddle him to mrs. Duran

she can't say no to anybody

good afternoon sir

run away nah she's just trying to unload

some of those land mines a sorry name

convenience you sir but this t*rd slip

requires your signature for what excuse

did you use this time your favorite sir

grocery shopping for a blind Widow get

some more than there she's she's out of

here

speaking of which so are you I've

arranged for you to sleep over at the

cleavers house videotapes from Denmark

finally arrived did some business with

your mom tonight listen I'll be back

later I got to run down pick up some rat

poison before the hardware store closes

8ball poker game I don't know how to

play pool two bucks a game

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returning to headquarters

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oh it's me you could be pretending to be

you now what's the password did you get

all that yeah make him afraid to stay in

our house

find rat poison now what do you think I

think we should tell our parents or

maybe even the police no way my dad said

no more spying yeah my parents probably

wouldn't believe me anyways after those

nightmares about weasels in my closet

Luffy told Freddie she tell his dad then

we get m*rder*d

what would James Bond do uh probably

take his clothes off and take a bath and

champagne with some lady

Oh mrs. Haskel Tom being passed by I

overheard my dad telling mr. Haskell

that if he didn't have the money paper

his mom he'd be in big trouble

okay I'll stay and protect mrs. Haskell

until I can pick something else

good plan why protect dinner see if she

wants to buy any and my cookies

dear you've been a wonderful help

watering the plants papering the shells

and I can't thank you enough for

steering the squirrels out of the Attic

but you should be getting home for

dinner oh why don't you uh sleep over

we've never done that before I mean we

could have pillow fights we could get a

whole jar of peanut butter we can even

play tidal wave in the bathtub well

maybe next weekend mr. Haskell and I

have plans this evening the tomato okay

I sure hope so I know you have my number

if you change your mind I sure do

they should buy that boy a pet Jeff did

you finish your biology report

well I supposed to do ten pages on

spiders but I can only come up with

eight so I cut out some pictures from a

book and paste them in spiders common

responds to our multi Pedic friendly

arachnid much-maligned he serves a

valuable purpose in the food chain can I

go now

Ollie please wait we just sat down so

mom how are the plans going for the

Mayfield Spring Fest oh not too good

sinb are the magician disappeared with

the entertainment budget you know if I

were you I'd checked out that

Yugoslavian folk dance group currently

touring the nation through tribute to

the vernal equinox brings a tear to even

the staunchest critics of Eastern Bloc

culture

so on how about that ball game huh hey

you guys should really eat a lot faster

my teacher says you gotta swallow those

vitamins before they escape Oliver it's

not gonna hurt you to spend a little

time with your family maybe not me Eddie

I catered dinner nothing's too good for

our anniversary for our anniversary

isn't for six months hey who knows if

we'll still be together damn some pate

it's pate my blossom Oh Andi this is so

wonderful I feel like a schoolgirl again

oh I really should a little champagne

won't k*ll ya it's so expensive yeah

there's not even a deposit on the bottle

would there be less of it I have the

perfect crystal glasses for this I'll be

right back

demosthenes theorized at the placing of

small stones in one's mouth would

enhance the ability to enunciate I knew

that that's well always considering the

father of diction can I please go now no

what's with you tonight anyway speaking

of ancient Greece did you know Plato's

preference ran more towards the young I

can't stand it anymore I can't

Michels murdering mrs. Haskell what was

that all about

puzzling indeed my father wouldn't harm

a bug unless it was a substantial amount

of money involved

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only take a second

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Oh Eddie thank you you don't have to cut

my meat for me of course I do

you're my little wifey baby beep I see

you haven't called me that since the cat

motel burned down anything so nice to me

honey baby passion peach I'm just doing

this to ensure our continued happiness

together

oh why I'm on a subject of insurance I

knew what you found my policy didn't you

I should have buried it with the rest of

the stuff what stuff

never mind Eddie I don't care what you

need the money for I am NOT cashing in

that policy but we have a loan payment

do Eddie I bought that policy so if

anything happened to me the board's

would still go to college Oh what's the

big deal about an education 3 months a

junior college didn't make me a better

man Eddie this is your problem if you

need money smell this pool table what

you don't understand

this is an official tournament model

three-quarter inch slate automatic ball

return I'd sell you first you don't sell

this thing you can kiss your wifey pipey

goodbye Oh Eddie for once in your life

do something right don't you threaten me

Gert get rid of this table or I'm taking

the boys and leaving I've had with you

Gert

I'll settle this once and for all

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you want me to get rid of it

fine I'll get rid of it

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I suppose you guys never made a mistake

before

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spy lock final entry rounded for weeks

in this room just for one little goof up

boy did I get yelled at I shouldn't have

let my imagination run away from me

again

I guess my dad's right people got no

right butting into other people's

business

that's probably why so many spies get

strung up

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and so ends what could have been a

brilliant career so if you wake up one

morning and the Russians are washing our

brains don't blame me

this is ex-secret agent oliver cleaver

signing off forever

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hey wait that's not our regular mailman

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tonight at 8:05 Eastern barbed wire

couldn't hold him women couldn't tame

him Kirk Douglas is the man without a

star then at 1005 Eastern when rustlers

push him too far

Jimmy Stewart gets fighting mad in the

far country down to earth is next

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you

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