03x10 - Oops

[bunniefuu]

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Wally what are you doing well it's

Wednesday night and the news is over

wait I did something very impulsive

today you bought that French maid's

outfit oh this morning I heard about a

job opening at the Mayfield Gazette so I

took some of the articles I wrote for

parents circle and showed them to the

editor and guess what

tomorrow morning I start as a staff

reporter hmm how about that was that all

you can say hmm how about that that's

the same reaction you get when you tell

someone it's a hundred and two in

Phoenix what do you want me to do well

you could have said congratulations

honey that's terrific or that's the

stupidest thing I ever heard but just

don't sit there like lumpy Rutherford

after Thanksgiving dinner I'm sorry but

this is so sudden well I know you've

talked about getting a job but I never

thought you were serious well of course

I was serious there's more to life than

cooking and cleaning and taking care of

you and the kids I've got to do

something for myself all right please

don't say that why not that's exactly

what Bieber's wife said before she left

him well I really expected more from you

than this

wait a minute honey wait a minute I'm

sorry if I don't seem more supportive

but no this is a surprise and it's gonna

cause some changes hey I think it's

great and you can count on me to help

around the house with the cleaning and

the vacuum a good night Wally I have to

get up very early in the morning so do I

huh how about that

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Kevin how's dad's french toast great

even better than mom's really yeah Kelly

can we say that

tadam honey you look terrific the paper

should be doing a story on you thanks

okay now come on and sit down I've made

you a wonderful breakfast bacon eggs

french toast a muffin and fresh-squeezed

orange juice mmm delicious

I've gotta run grandma and don't sail

your boats in the toilet again

Mary Ellen congratulations on your job I

think it's wonderful

thank you that's exactly what I told her

well in so many words I think it's

refreshing that a woman can take on a

career without deserting her husband you

know I'm really gonna miss this place I

felt the same way on my first day of

kindergarten but you'll get over well

thanks for doing this on such short

notice mom huh my pleasure

but you got to get a babysitter tomorrow

because I'm pledging a sorority sorority

rush the next thing you know you'll be

going out with the captain of the

football team

I met him he's not my type

we Goa last minute come on you believe

these cleaver women I mean moms back in

college and Mary Ellen's got a job

Kelly hasn't asked you for her own

apartment yet had she known as long as

she's going out with Duffy she never

will Wow if it isn't breakfast with the

Hardy Boys trying to solve the case of

the missing sausage lifts pushing

plastic containers again huh things must

be booming in the construction business

I'll see you later Wally yeah that guy

really has an attitude problem there's

the stuff your wife ordered from Gert

now where's the complimentary picture

well you Cleaver's have eyes like a hawk

you're balling chained and said that

there would be a yes Jackie

well sorry she's at work work yeah this

morning she started as a reporter at

that Mayfield Gazette boy she felt she

needed something more in her life than

just home making excuse me but isn't

that another way of saying that you're

not fulfilling your husband ly duties

Hey I can't get a thing past you can I

this is serious Sam you're really gonna

let her take a job I'm not letting her

take it it's her decision she wants to

bad move Mildred even a woman has

marginally attractive as Mary yellan

a walking advertisement for sexual

harassment Eddie you're an idiot I can

see it now she meets some stud at the

water cooler

then it's lunch pretty soon they're

having dinner then it's the proverbial

business trip next thing you know you'll

be living over some pool hall and your

kids be calling some daddy

alright Eddie get out of here hey I

warned you about marrying a girl with an

education

dad you sure you don't want any help no

thanks honey this is pretty complicated

no it's not we have one just like it at

school

oh let's it'll be a lot easier if you

connect Terminal A

Jack B and there you are on Drive C oh

it's ready to go

how about that that's all you can say

huh how about that honey I'm home

I've always wanted to say that well how

was your day dear I loved it so what's

new on the home front um just this Wow

you've got a computer no you got a

computer actually it's a

state-of-the-art word processor with a

20 megabyte hard disk and expandable

capability and discover couldn't be

better Tommy my first story is due

tomorrow

what terrific this will save you lots of

time you'll be more efficient more

organized and won't have to get up so

early in the morning okay what do you

think about this for a title the rapid

proliferation of limited access shopping

outlets

how about mirror mirror on the wall why

so many many moles

this is hard-hitting journalism well

how's that fuel at surprise winning

story coming terrific

in fact I'm finished now all I have to

do is turn in the disk tomorrow and my

career is launched and it's gonna be a

great one too now can we get over to the

Davenports Karl's been bugging me to see

their new baby and I kind of warned you

from what I've heard it is not a pretty

sight Molly I'd seen your baby pictures

and you have nothing to brag about at

least I wasn't born with hair on my back

okay okay give me two minutes I still

have to run the spellcheck I can do that

well honey are you sure sure I'm sure

all you have to do is press ctrl-v

function key five and return okay thanks

alright now when you see the baby try to

breathe deeply you know help control the

gag reflex

Gela heard you got a new computer let's

play nuke your neighbor oh yeah this

isn't a toy now leave me alone I'm

trying to proofread my mom's article hey

what's a sloppy mall that's just a typo

Susie to fix gee my dad gets nervous

when I make toast

well it's simple all you have to do is

locate the mistake press control B and

bam

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I tried to retrieve the article but I

couldn't because my mom didn't make a

backup well they're gonna be home soon

what am I gonna do simple my child

you're gonna stop blubbering for five

minutes and after I've extricated you

from yet another predicament you'll be a

few civ in your praise of my benevolence

and wisdom don't worry where is the

president of the Computer Club

if anybody can save your bacon he can't

good god woman would do to this thing

dude tut-tut it's not panic all one must

do is examine the situation calmly and

thoroughly I say we collect all the

valuables and torch the place there's

Kelly didn't I say Freddie would get us

out of this come on we can't give up I

mean there's got to be something else

Kelly can do there is I'm gonna confess

the whole thing Kelly I wouldn't do that

remember that dumb old baseball cap my

dad had ever since he was a kid that

ugly green one yeah last summer I

borrowed it for a baseball game I was

playing real well when all of a sudden

the wind blew it off my head I traced it

for blocks I almost had it in this big

tractor lawn or ran right over it tore

to shreds

no I did the right thing all right I

told my dad everything sorriest mistake

of my life did he yell at you worse the

next six months every time he'd look at

him he just kind of grown and shake his

head you can only stifle a laugh for so

long instead of handing out cigars Carl

should have handed out blindfold oh well

showing off the new computer huh honey

had the spellcheck go well I got rid of

all the misspelled words yeah your

daughter works very fast well maybe I

should make you my assistant editor oh

ma there's something I wanted to tell

you yes dear well

well I just wanted to let you know how

proud I am that you're a part of the

nation's workforce Thank You Kelly

isn't she the sweetest girl

that was brilliant Kelly a gut-wrenching

display of inner resolve not get off

Freddie you know Kelly it's not too late

for you to get up there start crying

your eyes out and hope for the best

worse for my father every time he gets

pulled over for speeding I think I've

got a better idea

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what see me mr. Donatelli yes I just

finished reading your article you say a

word let me tell you how thrilled I am

to be working here I've been so excited

about this job it was a little worried

about my husband but he seems to what

that's not your concern

great tie so here it is my second day

and I'm not even tired I could stay here

all night and turn out articles just

like the one I wrote yesterday oh and

speaking of my article I want you to

know that I'm totally open to criticism

I've always felt that writing is

rewriting don't you agree my article

might be fine just as it is right wait

don't tell me let me guess it's my style

right it's a little too sophisticated a

little too refined form a field but I

can tone it down less alliteration fewer

metaphors more to the point after all I

grew up in this town and I know what the

people of this small but vibrant

community are interested in listen to me

I'm talking too much aren't I just

between you and me

I'm a little nervous so you wanted to

see me mr. Donatelli gin not seven yet

27

hey don't you think it's about time you

got home hey not now I'm just starting

to get hot yeah but Kurt's been out in

the car for an hour I like the windows

down a crack excuse me Mary Ellen could

I possibly trouble you for another beer

oh I'm sorry I forgot did your wife has

a job still it won't drop it Eddie I

trust her and she trusts me her job has

not changed our marriage at all

Maryellen Holly she's gassed

the cab driver told me Eddie come on

let's get her up to bed

hey all right you change your mind

what's gotten into you what happened I

was fired

mister Donna the editor call me in his

office and I talked too much he read my

article and he said it belonged in a

junior high school yep

oh honey that's terrible come on is this

any way to deal with it

well as what they used to do on Lou

Grant was thinking about when I took

that job I should have been content

taking care of my beautiful family and

home

Kelly I'm he has something to tell you

you don't have to worry about me not

being around anymore because they didn't

like my story and I got sacked stairs

and work on your Pinocchio puzzle hmm

Alaska snows find it it's not last night

while I was proofreading your article I

tried to correct a typo and accidentally

erase the entire file

so I rewrote it you did what what was

gonna tell you guys but Oliver told me

about uncle beavers baseball cap and his

big head and Freddy even said that we

should torch the place and I guess I got

scared so Kelly you're not a little girl

anymore you've got to learn to when you

make a mistake you can't cover it up and

hope that somebody doesn't find it well

it didn't seem like a mistake until mom

got fired young lady I have only one

thing to say

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yes boy your office is really hard to

find we went to the managing editor and

he gave us directions but they weren't

for it good and we opened the door to

the dark room and I guess we shouldn't

have done that because they chased us

away okay cuz well here we are by any

chance you related to Mary Ellen cleaver

yeah she's my mom

in my aunt I'm sorry she doesn't work

here anymore

yeah we know you can derp but the thing

is it's not her fault the article stuff

it's ours no it's really just hers yeah

I said I'd help I didn't say be the fall

guy computer and I try to change the

word slopping to shopping and I hit the

wrong button hand well the screen went

blank and I sit ups well she was gonna

fess up to the whole thing but I told

her about my dad screen baseball cap

he had it ever since he was a little kid

was a big hat but that was cool cuz he

had a big head fact he still has a big

head I have a big head too what's the

lead story I wrote the article I see I

think I have that article right here

Dateline Mayfield many mores are

entertaining because they have lots of

different things to buy they also have a

lot of cute guys who hang out in front

of the stores it seemed pretty good

please mr. Donatelli give my mom another

chance she's a real hard worker she

doesn't drink or nothing

well she's real devoted she spends weeks

just a Halloween costume last year I was

a roll of lifesavers complete with

accurate colors and a Red Bull strength

interesting but I don't think your

mother will fit into our news department

she's a bit long-winded however she may

make a good human interest columnist she

can write about all the funny things

that happen around your house you know

like that uh-oh what's her face Bob that

crap Ola I'll give her a call

Thank You mr. Donatelli my mom won't let

you down especially since I promise not

to help for anymore look if you really

like human interest you'll stop by

sometime and she got my dad's head it's

a real whopper and sorry garage so it's

delightful family venture we also

thought it was a profitable one until we

discovered that cabinets sold his dad's

new golf clubs for 35 cents okay you

guys what did you really think of my

story which was great hey oli you know

my SATs are tomorrow could you help me

on my vocabulary ah gee as fun as that

sounds meeting a couple of the guys are

meeting some girls at the movies now Kip

I want you to go to bed early so you can

do your best on your test tomorrow

right dad where you going well I'll have

an appointment

Darlene Crenshaw this business or

pleasure if I'm home in an hour it's

business if I'm home for breakfast its

pleasure hey grandma you mind coming

down here and helping me with my SAT

stuff Oh Kip I'd love to but I'm gonna

go to my first toga party you do well on

your test tomorrow someday soon you'll

be wearing one of these

[Music]

tonight at 8:05 Eastern Jimmy Stewart's

guardian angel pays him a visit in the

heartwarming Christmas classic It's a

Wonderful Life

then at 10:50 Dean Martin and Jerry

Lewis are partners now it's a trip down

memory lane on Andy Griffith next

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