03x15 - And Everybody's Happy

[bunniefuu]

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someone will be rolling in the money

tonight will it be Alma ntarama she'll

find out fine Betty today after family

view

[Applause]

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lolly gobble bliss bombs everyone's idea

of bliss

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they strive with all their hearts to

cover their country in glory

they are the pride of Australia from

July 25th join the Seven Network in

Barcelona birthplace of new legends

presenting the Olympics coca-cola you

can't beat the feeling are my secrets of

knowledge doing Oh dad how am I supposed

to find out what political party David

Crockett belonged to well he was elected

to Congress as a Democrat but then he

was re-elected in 1833 by the Whig party

Wow how did you know that easy you've

got the same textbook Kipp had hey guys

do I look like a real soda jerk well

you're half right career day who's this

I fill in for a friend and everybody

jumps all over me

darn and I was gonna ask him to babysit

tonight

any volunteers Kelly she sat with the

Bingley four-year-old last week yes but

that wasn't my four-year-old hey but the

Binkley kids still breathing isn't he

well I guess if Kelly can sit for other

family she can sit for her own who knows

maybe she'll even take our check well I

feel lucky tonight

I sure hope lumpy brings more than five

dollars you ever wait a minute

you were a philosophy minor let me ask

you something Descartes came up with a

method of universal doubt to find out

what ideas could be used in order to

form the basis for a unified a priori

science now do you think that Cognito

ergo zoom is a logical extension of that

and if so why if I give you all the

answers how will you ever learn anything

we'll definitely be home by 11:00 here's

the number where we're gonna be

dr. tokars number at the fire department

the paramedics and the poison hotline

are you sure you wouldn't feel more

comfortable hiring a security guard

Kelly I want Kevin in bed by 8:00

o'clock sharp make sure he goes to the

bathroom first and leave a light on in

the closet because of the mo n s ter hey

that's okay slugger

we just got Kelly a new bottle of

Monster potion hey listen honey you're

getting paid to babysit tonight so stay

off the phone huh and no company sure

dad

I'll call everybody and cancel that

rodeo now Kelly if you have any problem

on dear let's go leave me a book later

can I sleep in my underpants tonight no

holy you do know how to babysit who's

there thought Ozzie and Harriet would

never leave I've been hiding no pictures

for close to an hour you're not supposed

to be here come on Kelly

I dig you you worship Me I'll be out of

here before your parents get home and

everybody's happy

I don't know I'm looking in my eyes and

tell me you really want me to leave Oh

daddy

isn't it about time for the kids to say

hello to the Sandman uh you're gonna

have to be a little more patient come on

Kevin let's go take a bath

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you do it coast clear

right morning everyone

[Applause]

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Oh surely a party Kevin boo put on your

PJs uh hi Kelly

you know Cara don't you thanks for

inviting us yeah hey there's my main

squeeze no Jess here I'll spit to you

alone sure what I done she can't keep

her hands off me where did all these

people come from

oh well I think Karen charm Albuquerque

and Josh get them out now my parents are

gonna k*ll me

I can't we work Pizza I'm gonna go

upstairs and put Kevin to bed

when I get down I want everybody out

including you your odds

hey g*ng wasn't up sorry but we're gonna

have to cut this bass short our hostess

is a little under the weather so she's

making me throw you out hey we'll do it

another time

yeah come on you heard the man let's go

that means you do no you don't get it I

had more right to be here than you see

she's my cousin and I put him off the

pizza than anybody

ally peril I didn't want to come right

out and see it in front skirt but it you

k*ll you want to be alone you know I get

it all right Karen have I ever shown you

my tree house

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Duffey what are you still doing here

enjoying the scenery sometimes I forget

you were in the slow reading group when

I said everybody out

I meant everybody let's dance

look it took me long enough to get my

parents to trust me enough to babysit

and I don't want to do anything to mess

that up I know that sounds square to you

even though I dress really hip deep down

I'm still an old-fashioned girl shut up

and kiss me

Pizza

[Applause]

Duffy Duffy wake up wake up that I

didn't do it on purpose

come on you gotta get out of here it's

after 11:00 wait how's it been with the

FBI morning come on you gotta get out

call you tomorrow

sh**t hey k*ll you see the other one

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whatever you say don't face

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hi what we expected you to be dead by

now the head slugger oh he was a little

angel

in fact there were no calls no visitors

probably the dose not in my life no

seems like we worried for nothing I

guess we found ourselves a new

babysitter oh you will take our check

won't you I'm pretty tired well good

night okay good night huh good night

sweetie

sleep well you'll be okay you know honey

I think we oughtta like Kelly babysit

more often good way to keep her away

from that dopey boyfriend of hers Oh

Wally you're too hard on Duffy come on I

don't see what she sees in that little

doofus who dresses like a bobbies in the

slow reading group and the way he talks

no mr. C yo give me a break next thing

you know she'll be baking cookies and

visiting him at sing-sing

what are you doing here you had a chance

I couldn't figure out that stupid

childproof lock I got it you rip up my

sheets make a rope and you can shinny

down from the window think I am Zorro

and we're just gonna have to wait until

they're asleep listen there's something

I got to tell you but dad doesn't like

me you didn't know that he called me a

doofus Oh

Duffy no one likes you when they first

meet you you'll grow on him everything

will be great

I promise

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so what'd you find out I got the whole

scoop uncle while he flipped out when he

found Duffy and Kelly's room now she's

never allowed to talk to him or see him

ever again

that's not uncle Wally was cooler than

that you can't help it all fathers are

capable of doing stuff like that it just

sort of lives there beneath the surface

until their daughters are old enough to

start dating hi you look terrible excuse

me I was crying all night yeah feel bad

for you so uh what were you and Duffy

really doing in your room

easy I'm on their side see it's from

Duffy Hart what's this one buck shop

bloodshot you let me read it my dearest

darling my face is drawn my eyes are

bloodshot and my heart is as empty as

the zeroes on my test papers I lay awake

at night calling your name until my dad

comes and tells me to shut up

Kelly you're the only one who

understands the real me and that's the

harvest part the hardest part about

being away from you

goodbye Dollface forever Duffy no it's

too bad we'll never get uncle Wally to

change his mind about Duffy maybe we can

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Oh mom dad you remember Ballmer don't

you oh look Wally look who's here it's

Ballmer Haskell hmm afternoon sir and

mrs. cleaver it's easy to see where your

daughter gets her beauty and fine bod

and what brings you to town bummer and

when are you leaving

there's an unscheduled recess at the

military academy after a fire wiped out

the officers quarters how nice and you

got to come home yeah they gave me two

weeks to prepare for the inquiry oh

don't bother making dinner for us

bombers gonna take me out to that cute

little Roadhouse under the expressway

ciao

we have any aspirin I can't believe it

hey Wally what's the matter b*mber

Haskell I just found him with my

daughter in her bedroom no no what are

you worried about evil we're talking

about b*mber Haskell you know how I got

his name don't you he didn't actually

make that b*mb he just lit that fire a

little too close to the propane tank

well tell that to old man Oakley no he

stuck his life savings into that

Motorhome you big lug you I just heard

the good news I always told my boys it's

just as easy to fall in love with a rich

girl as a poor girl

and for once one of them listen to me

take it easy Eddie this thing with

b*mber and Kelly isn't gonna last

yeah these long-distance romances just

don't work out so I'm pulling him out of

military school putting him back in

school here so the little lovebirds

converge together friends for life and

soon famiglia

Wow how could this happen how could my

daughter wind up with Ballmer Haskell

you know what happened

you caught Kellie and Duffy in an

innocent mistaken you overreacted he

shouldn't have been there in the first

place

well maybe not but after you banished

him did you really expect you to bring

home somebody that you'd approve of what

am I supposed to do get out of my hands

and knees and begged a little worm to

come back well I hear that bummer is

sure some dancer hey go Wally Hey I just

miss Ballmer and Kelly cute couple not

for long

yo mr. cleaver you want him to see me

hey yeah hey Duffy what do you say we

grab a booth huh get it grab a booth and

stop it Duffy you're k*lling me

so have you been pretty miserable since

you gave me the old heave-h* yeah well

look about that maybe I did overreact a

little bit but look how would you feel

if if you came home and and find your

mother with a strange man I told you hey

guys how you doing Debbie yo it's clean

Kip

look at Stephanie I guess what I'm

trying to say is that I made a mistake

let's let bygones be bygones wipe the

slate clean what do you say deaf man

your sudden change of heart wouldn't

have anything to do with the fact that

Kelly's cutting the rug with Balmer

Haskell would it all right look I'm

gonna give it to you straight

Farmar goes back to military school you

get back together with Kelly I'm off the

hook and everybody's happy thanks mr. C

but never wanted your daughter hanging

around such a little doofus well I think

you just got your wish wait hey it's not

that I don't respect you doofus Duffy

it's just that it's hard for a father to

think that he's losing his little girl

okay I probably hate whoever Kelly's

first boyfriend was well thanks I feel a

lot better now let's just pretend this

whole thing never happened what do you

say deal sorry mr. cleaver but you know

I may be a sloppy dresser and extort a

little lunch money once in a while but

hey I do have my pride

how about this I've got a client who

gets great tickets to all the major

concerts huh nice try well you know what

else I'm taking the family up to shadow

Lake for vacation this summer hey man we

have a great time up there and you're

welcome to join us we don't want her

skiing all the time hey I'll even let

you drive the boat I'll pay you

well hi everybody hi that's it no how

was your day or what did you bring me

why did you bring me bad not you let

k*ll yes what did you bring me Dad oh

just this doll face see a happy ending I

told him I plan to work yeah I guess

compared to b*mber Duffy's almost

bearable

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Hey alright that's it

you stay away from my daughter got your

little doofus decide really have

supernatural powers I gave you a sock or

something and you hang on to it what

could you tell about me maybe you buy

shoes afraid naturally hey that was fun

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I've been in an excursion that made me

feel really bad

the Austin Hospital in Heidelberg and

what upset me was not what you'd think

was the fact that so many people even

little kids there in the Austin with

horrible horrible injuries just because

they forgot one simple thing a seatbelt

this is an impassioned plea from the

Austin Hospital - please please wear

seatbelts Braun's fondling born you

wouldn't do anything to come between

unique and blue tricks Nick and opposing

model for me love topo natural I'm not

stripping a Frenchman will modesty

prevail please talkative elfin magic

nursery pets brings you home and away

two mites sir must be on my way sir you

loser it's me your other son sorry

didn't recognize your voice

understandable sir well I must be on my

way so I'd like to sit on my chest

yeah don't worry about it I'll bill you

too bad about that little cleaver chick

yeah but we'll even things up on Eloise

tick here sir hey I didn't tell you the

good news

we finally saved up enough for that trip

to Hawaii we've always dreamed about

really yeah two weeks condo on the beach

grass skirts the whole nine yards yeah

I'm sure your mother will send you a

postcard

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next a gross cartoon connection there's

a double dose of laughter tonight with

hey Dad and home improvements this week

betty has trouble coming to terms with

Martin's role in Peter Pan and Tim play

and some extraterrestrial fun for Randy

and Brad hey Dad

followed by home improvement tonight

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