06x08 - Out Cold

[bunniefuu]

[dramatic music]

♪

- Oh, hallelujah.
I got another fish.

- Short of an emergency,

I'm not leaving here
until they come get me.

- Uh-oh.
My whole gallon tub

of kidney fat is gone.

- The fox is running
my trap lines.

Oh.

He's out there hunting
my rabbits.

- Ow!

Ah.

There's blood everywhere.

♪

male narrator: In "Alone's"
coldest location ever,

ten participants fight
to survive the Arctic...

- The Arctic is one

of the most physically
demanding places on Earth.

- So frickin' cold right now.

narrator: Battling
subzero temperatures...

- This climate's harsh.
It's extreme. It's mean.

It's got teeth.

- Get caught out here in
a whiteout, you're in trouble.

narrator:
Vicious predators...

- Just heard something big
moving back there.

- It's me against a wolverine
right now.

narrator: And isolation.

- There's nothing to fill
that void.

It's just you left alone
with your thoughts.

narrator:
How long will they endure?

- House is on fire!

- I'm scared,
but I don't want to tap.

- This is the most unforgiving
landscape I've ever seen.

narrator:
The last one standing wins.

- This environment
will strip away

everything and anything
you thought you had.

♪

- Med check tomorrow.

Victory, swift victory.

My wife is coming.
I know it.

It seems like that's when they
kind of have them show up

is on med-check days,
you know what I mean?

'Cause they always ask them
that same question,

you know,
how far do you think--

you think you can still
go the distance?

"Oh, yeah."

And then usually
the significant other shows up,

and they get the good news
and big emotional scene.

I cry.

But I'm gonna win this.

I'm outlasting everybody.

There's no way I'm [bleep]
going home.

There's no quit in me, man.
None.

Zip.

♪

Tomorrow's gonna be
a great day,

but today
I've got some work to do.

I need to go check my traps,

and if I've learned anything
out here,

it's you don't go anywhere
without your bow.

I feel my wife, you know?

I feel her love here.

I know it's close,
real close.

Can't be too many of us left.

Hell, I may be the only one.
I just don't even know it.

That's the crazy part
right there.

My wife is coming.

Next [bleep] check,
she's coming to get me.

♪

I am the winner...

of season six, "Alone."

♪

Look at this right here.

Look at those little guys.
[chuckles]

Little squirrel.

♪

[animal chittering]

♪

[bow thunks]

How did that [bleep] miss him?

♪

Next one, I'm gonna put it

right through
his [bleep] chest.

♪

[bow thunks]

[Bleep].

♪

I really thought
that first shot had him.

I'll be honest--
it doesn't matter

because I've
already won this.

♪

Tomorrow my wife
comes around the corner--

beautiful, sparkling.

Just can't wait for her
to be here

and wrap my arms
around her.

Ain't that
a wonderful thought, huh?

Everything works out for me.

♪

I am the winner
of season six, "Alone."

♪

- [distorted voice]



- How you feeling,
by the way?

- Any other bruises?

[suspenseful music]

[engine idling]

- [exhales deeply]

[exhaling sharply]

I was hoping,
I guess,

against common sense

that my wife
was gonna be here.

But it didn't happen.

It's tough out here, man.

And I don't care
how tough you are.

It can get to you.

♪

And I...

do all the best I can

with the emotional work.

But some days...

it's just a little harder
than others.

[bird screeching]

♪

[voice breaking]
I'm calling on my wife today.

I really need
your strength today.

♪

[exhales sharply]

♪

I know why I'm here.
I know why I have to be here.

I want to be here.

I just need
your strength today.

I know...

[crying]
I know we're 1,000 miles away,

but I need your strength today.

♪

I need you to tell me
it's going to be okay.

[sniffling]

Ah...
[sniffles]

I need to know
that I'm doing good...

and it's gonna be enough.

[crying, exhales deeply]

♪

I'm so used to having you
right here...

right here...

where I can wrap my arms
around you.

[sniffles]
I need to know I'm your hero.

♪

I need to know I'm your hero.

♪

- So, I'm gonna...

sharpen...

my knife on this rock.

[spits]

Wow.

Like, so...

I just spit on the rock,
and it's frozen.

Like, it's absolutely frozen
to ice already.

That's...

crazy.

Sucks, too, 'cause that was,
like, the best spot,

right where all
the spit's frozen.

♪

I feel like with getting food,

there's a little bit
of a urgency.

Med checks
are not a friendly thing

if you're too skinny.

They will pull me

if I get below
a certain weight.

And I'm losing weight.

♪

Well, I'm just checking sets,
and...

I so need a hare.

It's always in here.
It's a weird place.

[gasps]
Oh, my gosh. I got one.

My gosh.

I got one.

♪

You beautiful hare.
I needed you so bad today.

♪

Thank you so much.

I'm just so grateful.

I have more time here.

This hare is...

It's gonna get me through.

♪

So I'm a bit concerned

about my mineral
and vitamin intake.

I mean, I've been drinking teas
and stuff, but...

like, where do you get
your greens.

Like, where do you get
your fiber?

I read that people would eat

the caribou stomach contents.

You're able to eat
that material

because they regurgitate

and chew their cud,

and also hares
do the same thing.

And so I'm going to try

eating the contents

of this hare's stomach.

And it absolutely is
the grossest thing ever.

Like, I can't believe
I'm even considering doing it

or about to,

but I'm gonna try it tonight
and see what it's like.

♪

You know, there's something
that happens in you

when you
have a really great need.

It's like you can do things

that you never
could do before.

Oh, my goodness.
It's yellow and brown.

♪

I have this absolute faith
in knowing

that I will be provided
what I need.

So I'm trying
to just eat everything,

and I don't want anything
to go to waste.

♪

[sniffs]
Oh, my gosh.

[sniffs]
I can't believe it.

Okay, this is--this is
gonna sound weird, but...

[sniffs]
It smells really good.

♪

So here goes.

[gulps]

And it tastes just like that.

It tastes like a flowery
woodland perfume soup.

Wow.

♪

Honestly, I can't believe
I'm saying

that stomach contents
of hare...

[chuckles] Actually smells like
flowery woodland perfume

and tastes like it,

with a sharp-ish...

piney, sappy taste to it.

And it's really good.

[laughs]

I can't believe it.

♪

I don't mind a good
salt-and-vinegar chip, though.

Oh, that would be nice
right now, wouldn't it,

just some salt?

♪

[dramatic music]

♪

- So I had my med check.

I hadn't really lost
significant weight

since the last one,
which is amazing,

'cause I haven't had
very much to eat.

Definitely been
a lot more discouraged

and having a harder time
recently

since the fox
and the poor trapping.

Okay, let's go and collect
some rabbits.

What is this?

It looks like fox tracks.

Whoa.

Damn it.

I think I've got competition.

♪

I know that I just can only
starve for so long.

♪

I never expected
to be this hungry.

And that's an issue.

I'm going to go
and check snares.

This whole fox situation,

it's definitely getting to me.

So I'm kind of in trouble.

♪

All right, I can see my rock
still hanging.

And I can see my spring pole
still bent.

So nothing in this area.

♪

Oh. Whoa.
I got a squirrel.

♪

Wow.

Huh.

Well, that's great.
That's food.

That is my first
snared squirrel.

Oh, my goodness.
It's not a rabbit.

I really wanted a rabbit.

But, oh, my God.

I got a squirrel.

The challenges of my snaring

mean that I'm constantly
having to rethink,

re-strategize all the time.

♪

That gives me renewed hope
about my trapping.

♪

- [distorted voice]

♪

- Well, we had our med check.

It was such a shock and a bit
of a disappointment.

♪

When I first came out here,

my strategy was to do
everything I could

to get as much food
as I could,

and I've got hundreds
of pounds of meat,

and I can't even
live off of it.

♪

I think the moose
is too lean a meat.

Mmm.

♪

Those cracklins are the best.

I can't believe
you can just sit there

and eat tons of moose
and starve to death.

It doesn't make any sense
to me.

So I guess in order to open up

the potential
of all that meat,

you got to have a backpack
full of fat.

I'm looking to what could
possibly be

a future source of fat for me.

I have very little options.

Fish have a sustainable amount
of fat in them.

These lake trout
are pretty oily.

♪

So...I'm gonna try to go catch
some fish.

♪

So...

it's spinning,
and it's spinning.

♪

Let's see...

♪

[reel whirring, water splashes]

♪

My time is running out.

I'm losing weight.
I need my fat.

If this doesn't work,

I'm so screwed.

I'm never super down.

I'm just looking at the glass
a little half empty.

But I'd say
I'm a positive person,

so that's kind of
a strange paradox,

but I guess the way
I remain positive

is by expecting
a negative outcome.

♪

Here we go.

♪

Oh, man.

Come, come out.

♪

[water splashes]
Oh, no!

♪

[dramatic music]

♪

[water splashes]
- Oh, no!

Dog gone it!

♪

[water lapping]

Man...

He just stole my lure
that I made,

that was all nice.

My little eyelets

that came
off of my lure that I found...

my last good hook--
J hook.

♪

[blows raspberry]

♪

I can't tell you how mad I am.

♪

I don't know what to do.

♪

I'm not starving yet, but...

will be soon.

♪

The fact that I was so close
makes it that much tougher.

Like, "Dog gone it."

♪

Ah!

♪

If I was watching this
in a movie,

I would think,
"That is so unrealistic.

"That guy just k*lled a moose,

"and he's eating it,
and he's dying of starvation.

That's dumb."

Hey, no, that's reality
apparently.

♪

Apparently the way it is.
[laughs]

If I would have known
it was this absurd,

I would have just fished,
I guess.

♪

So...

that's where my knowledge
came short out here, guys.

♪

I thought you could live
off of...

off of land mammals,
but you can't.

I'm losing a pound a day,
no matter what I do.

I have no plan...

no idea what to do.

♪

- I'm not interested
in having dreadlocks,

so I cut my hair.

There it all is.

I thought it'd be, like,
twice that much, but...

How did I do?

Not too bad
for using a knife, eh?

♪

Next on the agenda
is to go check...

the...gill net.

♪

My body's feeling it more.
I can tell.

Now that I'm getting below
my ideal body weight,

the hunger is different.

It's changed a little bit.

It's just there more, I guess.

Earlier, I was just
kind of, like,

burning off the excess,
and now I'm not.

♪

Yep.

Nothing in the gill net.

♪

Oh, there's a big lake trout.

I don't know, maybe two of 'em.

♪

♪

[thud]

[breathing heavily]

♪

[groans]

♪

♪

♪

[dramatic music]

♪

[classical music]

♪

- [laughs]
It's a lot harder to keep count

without a partner
and without music.

Oh.

Mm.

Thank you, Sun, for being
my partner in my solo waltz.

[smooches]

[dramatic music]

♪

No sign of rabbits around here
since the fox,

but I'm not worrying
about that now,

because today
I have basically,

like, a ball of yarn,

a ball of rabbit yarn
essentially.

And that ball is probably
the size of a basketball.

I think I could make
a rabbit scarf now.

♪

My entire life I've been
obsessed with making things

from raw materials.

I've decided
to take this opportunity

to finish my slingshot.

Check it out!

My squirrel-skin-covered
knife sheath.

♪

A little harvest basket.

Boom.
Ready to go.

♪

Super excited
to work on this rabbit rope...

because this is the nicest day
we've had in forever

and it could easily be
another couple weeks

before we get a day like this,

so got to kind of seize
the moment right now.

♪

One of the biggest things
is that I'm here

representing women

and representing a different
approach to survival--

one that includes femininity.

I've struggled so much
with my relationship

with being a woman in my life.

Look at all of this furry,
fluffy amazing-ness.

I'm just gonna wind
back and forth

around these poles.

Spent my 20s really denying
my own femininity

to show that I was,
like, tough and capable

in a man's world.

And then my whole 30s
looking at that

and repairing
that relationship

and, finally, in my 40s

super being in my femininity

and myself as a woman

and feeling empowered in that

and like I don't have anything
to prove.

Instead of tying a knot,

I'm going to use paracord
and tie them together well.

♪

Women have the fortitude
to survive very trying times.

And I'd like to show that
to the world.

♪

Pretty exciting.
Ah!

Check it out!

Beautiful, woven rabbit scarf.

And may it get
longer and longer and become

a rabbit shawl
and then a rabbit blanket.

Whoo-hoo!

♪

- [inhales deeply]

It's like
I get drugged out here.

[inhales deeply]

Here I go again, passing out.

It's like every [bleep]
intention of just getting up

and getting to work,
and then it's like,

I just lay here thinking
of what I'm gonna do.

[imitates snoring]
Out cold again.

It's just this nice,
toasty-warm bed, I think,

and, you know, like...

just lack of calories and...

[inhales sharply,
groans softly]

Mm.
Oh, [bleep].

So drained
of all just resources.

Okay, I got to go.

I was sleeping again.

♪

I have to go check my traps

before that fox does.

He's got my rabbit,
and there's nothing I can do

to get it back.

I know that that's not going
to be the only animal

that that fox steals from me

because now that he knows
my scent brought him food,

he's never gonna stop.

[sighs]

Tired already.
Hardly started working.

I need to keep providing
for myself.

My fear every night
before going to bed

is that if I'm not performing
well enough,

I'm going to have to go home.

This trap line's taking me

four times longer
than it should have.

And I can't find my...
trail that I use.

♪

I don't know what's going on
with me.

♪

Oh, man, I'm gonna have
to take a break...

'cause I am...

Like, my vision
is going blurry.

Not only is my vision
going blurry,

I'm having, like--

I can't find my snares.

I don't know exactly
what's wrong with me.

I'm severely constipated.
My stomach is rock hard.

Just multiple things
coming at me all at once.

♪

I need to find my snares.

♪

[softly, eerily]
My body's wasting away.

I'm hanging on
by my fingernails,

and my fingernails
are starting to rip out.

♪

And, no,
that's not me being a wuss.

My heart is strong.
My mind is stro--

Like, I'm in it.

♪

We can't go without food.

[water lapping]

Where the [bleep] did it go?

♪

Like I'm getting lost up here.

I can't find my trail.

♪

My stomach really hurts.

Oh.

Now here comes the chills, now.

♪

Yep.

Oh, boy.
I can't do this.

♪

I'm turning in circles.
I'm getting lost.

Sweat's pouring off of me.
I'm nauseous.

I can't hardly see anything
and focus on anything.

It's frustrating.

♪

[clatter]
Whoa.

Whoa!

[dramatic music]

♪

[clatter]
- Whoa.

Whoa!

Oh.

♪

Ouch.

♪

Whew.

Hold on.

I'm safe now but barely.

[grunts]

Whew, that's how close I came--
diving into the water.

♪

[breathing deeply]

♪

[sniffs]

♪

All right, I got to put
this camera away.

It's too dangerous.

♪

♪

My mom died when I was seven.

She had cancer.

I have gone through
a lot of stuff.

And so I had developed
this drive

where you can pull yourself up
if you have the means.

So here I am, struggling.

And my body
is coming unraveled

at the seams right now.

Wiping out out here,
I hurt my tailbone.

Now comes to the point
of the story

why we need
to talk about it.

I haven't pooped in 14 days.

♪

I have a big,
heavy weight there.

Dragging on my pelvic floor.

♪

[whimpers]

♪

[cries]

♪

But the thing is...

those ligaments that hold

that pelvic floor in place,

when I birthed Lars,
I tore a couple of them.

I mean, it's not something
that they can fix.

But if I tear...

you know, the other side
of those ligaments

that I have left...

straining to have
a bowl movement...

♪

I...

I probably can't carry
a baby again.

♪

[sniffles]

And I don't want
that option taken from me

for something like this.

♪

And maybe I'll be okay,

but today...

Today is not a good day, man.

♪

I never...

ever foresaw this
being a problem.

♪

- I'm gonna try and get
a good meal in me,

see how that affects
my energy.

I just think that I'm not
getting enough

salt and electrolytes
in my diet out here.

So...

I got the soup reheated,
re-boiled,

and it's simmering now.

But...

I only have food left

for dinner tonight,

and breakfast tomorrow
is that soup.

So...
[sniffs]

It'd be super nice

if I get something
in the net today.

And, um...

hopefully I'm not
as lightheaded as I was.

♪

Dizzy spells are a problem

because the single most
important activity

I do out here is fish off
of the edge of a rock

above 10 or 12 feet of water,
and it's probably 33 degrees.

If I go down, I'm either gonna
fall onto the rocks

or fall into the water
or both.

And at the point where
that would happen

is 30 or 40 yards

from a place where I can climb
out of the water.

It's a deadly place
to have a dizzy spell.

Just came to the gill net,
and there is a fish in the net,

tangled something fierce
in there.

I'm about to pull the net.

Definitely going to put
my PFD on.

It's definitely sketchy
to be down there.

♪

Got to get stable places
to stand here

on this ice and stone.

♪

All right,
I've got to be very careful

about walking around here.

♪

Oh, it's a pike!
Northern pike!

Holy crap.

Wow.

Oh, neat-o.

I have never seen one of these
with my own eyes before.

It's a big one.

Oh, wowee.

♪

It fills the entire screen
from four feet away.

That's a sweet fish.

♪

Okay, everybody.
So...

♪ Duh-duh-duh-duh

I got my first northern pike.

This thing is a monster.

I mean, these are
the sea monster of the north.

Look at the mouth
on this thing.

Look how big that is.

This fish is big enough
to eat another big fish.

And the teeth
inside of it are--

I don't know if you can see
those or not.

I got to be careful cleaning it
out, but--ow.

Damn it.

Look at that.

That's just how they work.

There we go.
Damn.

I'm gonna clean it off and...

clean it up and fillet it.

♪

Here we go.

That gill net is everything
right now.

I'm super grateful for it.

And until the ice thickens up,

it will continue to be
everything.

- Tomorrow's breakfast
will be more nutritious.

♪

Whoa.

was wondering
if I wouldn't find

something interesting
in this guy's belly.

And there is
an entire fish in it.

[laughs]

Two fish.

It's going in the soup pot
right now.

♪

Two for the price of one.

♪

[dramatic music]

♪

[Michelle whimpering]

[whimpering]

[gasps]

[sniffles, whimpering]

[breathing shakily]

[hyperventilating]

It just grips you.

It just rolls, man.

It's like you can't whim--

You just can't help it but
whimper

like a [bleep] kicked dog, man.

I think
it's just toxic buildup

in me from that waste.

I mean, I could die tonight.

I could go into, like, a shock.

Wouldn't even know
what happened.

♪

At least my last wishes
will be recorded.

♪

Funeral pyre.

♪

Just let the wild horses
run through those ashes.

♪

Sprinkle 'em in a lake.

♪

And blow from the top
of mountains.

♪

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

♪

Food and drinks
and laughter

and music and love...

those would be
my final wishes.

♪

- [cawing]

♪

I don't want to, guys.

[sobbing]

Oh, [bleep].

[continues sobbing]

♪

[continues sobbing]

[satellite phone beeping]

[sobs]

I'm--I'm gonna pull myself, um,

from the competition.

I've been pretty sick,
and, uh...

I think you guys need
to come and get me.

[sobbing]

♪

[sobbing]

♪

My mom died when she was 31
years old,

and I had to provide
for myself,

and for the first time
in my life,

I can't help myself.

And that is devastating to me.

♪

I pushed my body
to its utmost limit.

♪

I need some medicine.

♪

Pretty sick.

I can't poop and, uh...

Fevered and chilled and...

Really weak.

Just--body gave out
before my mind could.

That's all.

♪

You have
all these self-doubts, like,

"Did I accomplish anything?

Was there a point
of me coming?"

♪

There's about

running through your head.

None of them good.

I didn't want
to have to go home.

I still pushed myself
days longer

than I probably
should have.

I mean, the only thing
keeping me here

is my pride
and stubbornness.

♪

And that could risk my chance

of ever carrying a baby
ever again.

♪

No amount of winning
is worth that to me.

♪

- My fire went out
last night.

Without a fire, I could die.

[stick snaps]
Ah, [bleep].

- Dang, dang, dang.

All the fat is gone.

And I looked around,
and there's wolverine tracks.

- It's the first time
I've seen my body

while I've been out here.

Whoo!
Look at my bicep.

- Holy [bleep].
My entire bay has frozen.

It's all ice.

♪