[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
- You know, I've been thinking
about it a lot,
going home.
But I need to buck up, soldier.
This is an opportunity...
to win a million dollars.
The porcupine's
down this crack.
Got him.
Oh, I have fat!
[laughs]
Aww, his liver
is covered in white spots.
Eating this porcupine
could either end
or extend my time out here.
- Yeah, we're getting it now,
and it ain't letting up.
I'm talking freeze you
to death,
k*ll you cold.
Oh, [bleep].
[bleep] get out of here.
Get out of here.
It's the end of my quest.
It's not easy to say it.
♪ ♪
male narrator:
For the first time,
ten participants will fight
to survive the Arctic
for longer than anyone
in "Alone" history,
a grueling 100 days.
- This is
the ultimate challenge.
♪ ♪
- A hundred days
in the Arctic is no joke.
narrator: If they can endure,
they'll win
the biggest prize ever.
$1 million.
♪ ♪
- Whoa!
- Holy [bleep]!
- You can't tap out
when there's a million bucks
on the line.
- Oh, my gosh.
- [growls]
- How hard can you work
for $10,000 a day?
- It looks like frostbite.
- [screams]
- Oh, [bleep].
narrator: This is "Alone:
Million Dollar Challenge."
- They're just surrounding
my shelter.
[wolf growling]
♪ ♪
[suspenseful music]
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
- We are getting so much snow,
so it has been snowing
all morning,
maybe all night,
and we got another
fresh couple inches,
so, like, every day,
we're getting
several more inches of snow.
Look at that.
We're getting so much.
Okay, well, that changes
my plans a little bit today.
[wind whooshing]
♪ ♪
Fire wood.
♪ Let's get some fire wood ♪
And I gotta still go check
the trap line.
With the snow,
we've gotten to the season
where everything takes longer.
♪ ♪
Going and getting water
and going and getting wood
takes more effort.
It's harder to walk around
having 5 inches of snow
to push around,
so it's extra calories.
♪ ♪
And the trap line's, like,
totally buried in snow,
so I have to reset them
every time it snows this much.
Even the ones
under the logs are buried.
Wow.
Damn.
No bunnies in the trap line.
I gotta start catching
those guys again,
especially now that
the porcupine's questionable.
♪ ♪
I was so excited when
I harvested that porcupine,
but I find his liver
is covered in white spots.
That's a sign of disease.
That's a sign
of an unhealthy animal.
I don't want to get sick,
but I'm getting really skinny,
and I don't have
another fat source.
This porcupine
has a bunch of fat.
I let it hang and dry,
but I'm not sure if I should
eat the porcupine at all.
I definitely shouldn't eat
the liver.
Look at that.
Doesn't that give you
the heebie-jeebies?
It gives me the heebie-jeebies.
All those white spots.
All right, my face gets cold
talking to the camera.
I don't know
what to do with this thing.
I'm getting low on food.
I really want to eat
this porcupine right now
because I'm hungry and
this fat looks so good to me.
But I've made it this far.
It would be a bummer
to have to go home
from eating this porcupine.
I'm just gonna wait
and kind of think
about what to do.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
[fire crackling]
- Tour time.
So here's my new fireplace.
I took all of the gravel out.
Smoke is better.
My sinuses got beat up
last night.
This really hurts.
[sniffs]
It feels like someone
punched me in the nose.
Gonna have to do a nasal
cleanse when I get home.
Just being
out of the smoke will do.
♪ ♪
Today, we're going fishing.
We're heading out on the ice.
♪ ♪
There's fox prints
right there.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
Fox.
♪ ♪
I take that fox
as a good omen.
That means good fishing.
♪ ♪
I asked myself
why I am doing this
almost every day,
and I really want
a woman to win.
It's not because I, like,
dislike a man winning.
I want the most worthy
person to win.
♪ ♪
And that's why I wanted
to be chosen for the show,
was not because I was a woman,
but because I was worthy
of the opportunity
to test myself.
♪ ♪
And I would love to be
an ambassador for women
to be strong survivors.
Calling all lake trout.
Dinner is served.
Yes! Yes, yes, yes,
yes, yes, yes, yes.
Come on, come on,
come on, come on.
[screams]
[laughing]
I caught--I got another one!
Oh, Lord!
Thank you, Lord.
Yes!
Oh, my God.
[exhales]
Thank you.
[grunts]
♪ ♪
[sighs]
Yes.
Yes!
[exhales]
Oh, it's beautiful!
[exhales]
It's smaller,
but this gets me
a few more days.
Oh, my gosh.
♪ ♪
Have you ever seen
a more beautiful sight
than this?
One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight...
You can just call me
rollercoaster Ky.
She's high,
and then she's low.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
[fire crackling]
- Hot and Rare on the inside.
Hot and Rare.
They're back.
This could be their last
performance at Rock House.
Here they come,
the sensation
of Great sl*ve Lake.
Hot and Rare,
live at Rock House!
[vocalizing]
♪ I live in Rock House
and eat ♪
♪ Wild musk ox meat
and squirrel mushroom stew ♪
[vocalizing]
♪ And when I catch a fish,
I turn its guts ♪
♪ Into soup ♪
[vocalizing]
♪ If we get a rabbit,
we'll eat its head ♪
[vocalizing]
♪ And if you come here
with the wrong ten items ♪
♪ You are dead ♪
[vocalizing]
♪ Rock House ♪
[screaming]
We love you!
Well, that was fun.
Boy, there's a lot to do, man.
Really trying to hit them rose
hips before they disappear.
That's the plan.
♪ ♪
I know
Thanksgiving's coming up.
The real battle
is gonna be between
Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Dark and cold.
And the ice starts
getting thick.
That's where you're gonna see
some people jerked out,
so need to be going
into that last month strong,
but it's a struggle right now.
♪ ♪
[wind howling]
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
[shouts]
♪ ♪
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
- [shouts]
♪ ♪
Ah.
Just before Thanksgiving, too.
Oh, boy.
Came up here to...
grab our last bootful
of rose hips,
and this big porcupine
was in here
eating the hell out of them.
Look at the quills
on the stick
from smashing him.
I've had dogs
with quills in them before.
They--I've had a quill or two.
They hurt.
Once they start in,
they don't back out.
They're barbed.
I'll use this stick
to carry him home on.
We don't want to get no quills
in our clothes.
Gonna drag her in.
♪ ♪
First time I ate porcupine
was with my father.
He was running a little
trap line back in Pennsy,
and we had a porcupine
up a tree
and clubbed it down out.
He showed me how to skin it.
I was just little.
It was so exciting.
We cooked it that next day.
♪ ♪
Every time I k*ll a porcupine
or eat porcupine,
I think of him.
I love you, Dad.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
[fire crackling]
- Just had my fish.
It was delish.
It was just crisp
on the bottom,
which is actually kind of nice
'cause everything I have
been eating has been soupy.
Soup.
[sniffles]
So it was sort of like,
"Oh, this is like
when you have a fish fry."
You scrape the bottom
of the pan. [chuckles]
It was good.
♪ ♪
So this whole week,
I have been making snow shoes.
Snow shoe frames here.
I think I want to start
weaving the body.
As it snows more and more,
I'll need something
that works really well
in fresh, deep snow.
Just putting this line on
to hold the frames.
Dave and I,
we make our own snow shoes
for our expeditions.
We take people out
and travel by snow shoe
in a harsh environment.
I'm working this.
It's where I did my first
center weave.
But I feel kind of empty
without him
to weave a pair
of snow shoes with me.
I think being
in a relationship
as strong as the one
that I have with Dave,
it can be easy to
consider yourself a partner
and not an individual.
Done.
Not too shabby.
One of my skills
you finally get to see.
I believe that this
experience is teaching me
that if I can be a strong,
independent person,
then that will make me
a stronger partner.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
- Throwing it out there
to Jordan
and his arctic fashion show.
[vocalizing]
Complete with a rabbit...
complete...
[laughs]
With a rabbit foot button.
Rabbit foot button vest.
[vocalizing]
All right, there we go.
You guys probably
won't even use that anyway.
[laughs]
♪ ♪
I went up to the trap line
and checked the traps.
No rabbits today.
[sighs]
I don't have the trap line
working for me anymore,
and I'm starting
to get hungry.
I'm not a body
that holds weight,
and if I'm working and moving,
I just lose weight.
My body really needs fat
to stay at a healthy weight.
I'm thinking about eating
the porcupine today.
♪ ♪
I wish that the porcupine
didn't have a spotted liver,
but the facts are it does.
And the reality is,
is I already exposed myself
to whatever disease
the porcupine has
when I was processing it.
I'm not ready to go, so...
♪ ♪
I'm gonna risk it.
I'm gonna risk it.
♪ ♪
I'm gonna eat some porcupine.
I'm not gonna eat the liver
and I'm not gonna eat
the kidneys
because those
are filter organs.
But I'm gonna eat
everything else.
I'm just gonna cook him
really, really well,
and hope
that I don't get sick.
This fat--oh, my God.
This is, like,
what I need so bad.
♪ ♪
Eating this porcupine,
I could get sick
and it could totally
end my time out here.
Just cooking this very,
very thoroughly.
♪ ♪
Very thoroughly.
♪ ♪
Well, here we go.
[sighs]
I pray that eating
this porcupine
only brings me
health and wellness.
Mmm.
Oh, fat!
[slurps]
Porcupine fat!
Oh, my gosh.
Should I just eat a big chunk?
Here is a chunk
of porcupine fat.
♪ ♪
Mmm. Mmm.
♪ ♪
It's so good.
My body is so thankful.
I can just feel, like,
I've just been needing
this fat,
and now I have fat!
I want to stay out here.
I want to see it through.
Mmm.
Oh, my gosh.
I want to stay out here
until I reach my edge.
[slurps]
♪ ♪
How can something that tastes
so good make you sick?
I just hope that
it only brings me wellness.
♪ ♪
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
- [growls]
[grunts]
[barking]
[grunts]
[growls]
[growling]
[coughs]
I can see how a dog
gets growly.
When he's on a bone.
♪ ♪
Thanksgiving Day, we're just
gonna eat and be thankful.
♪ ♪
I like to set milestones
for myself out in the woods.
When I have no human contact,
I become real involved
in my own head,
but I still like
to observe the holidays
and the traditions.
Right there
is the guest of honor.
The porcupine,
he's the Thanksgiving turkey.
♪ ♪
Burn them quill right off.
No quill.
We want him to be naked.
When you leave the skin
on something,
that leaves the fat intact.
That's why the old-timers
always scalded their hogs
instead of skun them.
Lot of fat.
Lot of goodness in porcupine.
♪ ♪
I can actually survive
on that kind of meat.
Thrive on it.
Compared to that right there,
that musk ox is lean.
♪ ♪
They're really thick.
You gotta work them over
to get them burnt.
♪ ♪
So here I am
on the 100-day challenge
and the biggest event
of my life.
And somehow,
I'm focused on old memories.
We used to go to summer camp
when I was a boy.
They'd sing campfire songs.
Eight, nine, ten-year-old.
That's a nice age.
You're still
kind of innocent then.
You ain't doing all
that bad grownup stuff.
But when I hit 13,
I became pretty hard
to control.
Getting in trouble.
I was probably
a pain in the a*s.
I did manage
to graduate high school.
I did that for Mom and Dad,
but from there,
I've been running hard
ever since.
I wasn't around
for Mom or Dad much at all,
but on the other hand,
I've done some amazing things
with that time.
And I know
they're pretty proud
of some of the stuff
I've done.
♪ ♪
Don't that look good?
Oh, man.
It'll have to be boiled now.
You take a chunk off
and you boil it.
♪ ♪
The Thanksgiving drumstick.
♪ ♪
It's getting about right.
Oh, man.
That is one fat,
greasy b*stard.
Look at that.
Oh.
That's out of this world.
♪ ♪
That porcupine
made the perfect turkey.
I mean, it was just perfect.
♪ ♪
That was fine.
That was mighty fine.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
- Look.
Those are porcupine quills
that I put on my Mukluks.
And I put seven.
It represents
all the directions.
The four directions,
north, east, south, west,
and then above,
within, and below.
Seven is a special number
to me.
This is my first attempt
at some porcupine quill work,
so there you go.
It's on my Mukluks,
so I can walk
with the porcupines.
Yeah.
♪ ♪
So far, the porcupine fat
is sitting great with me.
I feel good.
My guts feel good.
My stomach feels good,
and I've had more energy.
And I think
that's just what I needed,
is some fat.
It's helped
to stabilize my weight,
so I can stay out here longer.
♪ ♪
Oh, no,
I'm gonna put this tree...
over there, actually.
[groans]
♪ ♪
My shoulder is really hurting.
♪ ♪
What?
♪ ♪
Oh, man,
this jabbing is so much.
♪ ♪
Ouch.
And it [bleep] hurts.
Man, what did I do?
♪ ♪
Eee.
It feels weird.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
- Okay, so see, there's...
a porcupine quill is...
embedded.
Gonna have to be careful.
♪ ♪
Tweezers.
♪ ♪
So you need to break the skin.
♪ ♪
Need to just cut it out.
♪ ♪
Man.
I really just need
another person to do this.
♪ ♪
'Cause I can't see...
♪ ♪
What I'm doing.
I'm probably gonna just, like,
break it off
and not get the whole thing.
♪ ♪
Oh.
Oh, just got it out.
Nice.
[laughs]
So that little dude
was embedded in my shoulder.
I don't know how it got
through all the layers...
layers of my skin, but look.
It looked like
it went in there...
and then it pushed its way up.
Whew.
Oh, that feels good
to get out of there.
Okay, back to work here.
I really feel like
my spirit and my mind
can last the 100 days.
♪ ♪
I didn't choose to do this
because of the prize money,
but now,
think about it
a little bit more than I have,
I just think, like,
all the people that
have helped me in my life,
I could, like,
repay them and help them.
I just think
about my parents
and everything
that they've gone through,
and all the sacrifices that
my parents have made for me.
I could retire them
and they won't have to worry.
♪ ♪
And so I want to try
my hardest for them.
Oh, my gosh.
Look at the sunset.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
Water is becoming an issue.
You could trudge down there
in the freezing cold,
and get a potful.
Or you melt snow,
which takes forever
and a [bleep]load of trips
in and out of the door.
The whole pot of snow only
cooks down to about a cupful.
You gotta keep
putting more in.
♪ ♪
We gotta get the hell
out of here!
[wind howling]
[coughs]
It's got freezing spray
just [bleep]
blowed all over me.
♪ ♪
That was pretty rough going
for a pail of water.
♪ ♪
This is the hard stretch
I knew was coming.
Everything's a battle.
Nothing comes easy.
♪ ♪
It's time to eat.
I got the last of my brisket
bone here we're gonna have.
I'm gonna chop it up
and put it in the pot,
and it'll boil most of today.
Oh, that's why mouse
ain't been eating these bones.
He found my brisket.
I got one mouse living here.
It's a pain in the a*s.
I had been throwing
my old bones
back in a little cave
in the house.
He mostly goes back there
and gets them.
Yeah, mouse beat me
to this a little bit.
My little [bleep]
chewed all the tallow
off the outside
of this brisket bone.
You can always tell
where the nutrients are.
Animals will show you.
They go for the best cuts,
the best pieces of everything.
Every time.
Yeah,
mouse has been working on that.
I think we better
check into my fat cache.
Make sure mouse
ain't made too much inroads...
on all that.
I had some porcupine fat
up there
and all kinds of stuff.
I'm worried about
shrews and mice.
I've spent winters
in the wilderness
where shrews and mice
were at their peak.
And you can't stop them.
They won't scare away.
They're too elemental.
It's like getting rid of bugs,
you know?
They don't go away.
The rodents can be more
trouble than the predators
in the wilderness.
Here's the genital area
where the lower intestine
all came down
into the porcupine,
and it was just
a big gob of fat.
I thought it was safe up there.
That damn--I mean,
this was like the size
of a tennis ball, maybe.
It was a nice ball of fat.
That little [bleep]
got me there.
He's been feeding on that.
He's been living on that.
You're pissing me off, mouse.
♪ ♪
We better do something
with all this
before mouse gets any more.
♪ ♪
I think I'll stick everything
in my musk ox pouch for now.
I can hang this up
in the cabin,
and when I'm in there,
I almost always
got some smoke
up on the ceiling
when I'm in there with fire.
Now, that slows mouse down.
♪ ♪
And here's what's left
of that porcupine fat.
We can skin that, though,
and get a little wee bit.
In the pouch you go.
I don't think
I'm gonna k*ll him.
You get rid of that little
bachelor mouse,
and you could have
a whole community of mice
move in on you.
We are living on fat here.
You bet I'm gonna guard
this stuff.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
- So we're having a fire.
I'm gonna eat my fish.
I got the head
and the butt left.
Last night,
I started having good dreams
about being home again.
Some home-cooked meals, and...
[fire crackling]
Just some TLC.
[laughs]
So we'll try and catch
another fish today.
♪ ♪
Am I thriving?
Not as well as I'd like to be,
because the last fish,
I definitely indulged
and had probably more
than I needed to.
And I'm at the point where
I just feel lighter.
I can see it
on my body physically.
My clothes are fitting
a bit looser.
Could turn into a bad
situation pretty quickly.
All right.
♪ ♪
I'm bundled up.
I'm wearing all
of my down layers.
But the lake is so cold.
Two hours max before
it's time to go and warm up.
Getting pretty cold.
[chuckles]
♪ ♪
Beware of the calm
before the storm.
♪ ♪
Fish, fish, fish, fish,
fish, fish, fish, fish.
Where are you?
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
- [screams]
[grunts]
♪ ♪
[bleep]
♪ ♪
[yells]
[crying]
It was huge.
♪ ♪
[sobs]
It was so big.
It was right here.
♪ ♪
[cries]
♪ ♪
I'm so cold!
♪ ♪
I just need to go inside.
♪ ♪
[fire crackling]
[sighs]
That was probably
my biggest fish yet.
[sniffs]
And I didn't get it.
And total meltdown.
And it's--
I'm just way too cold
to spend more time out there.
♪ ♪
I'm not able
to keep myself warm
like I want to be able to,
so that means I need more food.
♪ ♪
When I was getting so cold,
all I wanted
was to throw in the towel.
♪ ♪
It's true.
But I do believe I'm starving.
I believe I am starving
on a slow...
♪ ♪
But consistent...rate.
When I lose one fish,
that's a week's worth of food,
not just one or two days.
A sign.
A sign from the gods
that it's time to keep pushing
or it's time to go home.
♪ ♪
[ice crackling]
- You hear it?
It's going crazy.
That's that ice setting up.
[distant booming]
Wow.
And I'd been hearing
the ice barking
a little wee bit,
but then it really
started picking up.
I thought, "I gotta go down
there and listen to that."
It's just pinging here
everywhere.
You can hear it.
It's setting up.
It's getting thicker.
It's talking to you.
It's telling you
to get ready for cold.
[ice howling]
[laughs]
That's a close one.
♪ ♪
You can hear it just cracking.
That means it's growing
and expanding.
We're running out of fat,
so I'm really hoping
to get a fresh fish
or two here through the ice.
I've been looking forward
to this,
waiting for ice
so I don't have the waves.
♪ ♪
It's music.
It's the music
of the wilderness.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
- Good morning.
Oh, my gosh.
Last night,
I was thinking about
how nice it would be
to pop some popcorn on the fire
and drizzle butter over it.
Or maybe drizzle
some porcupine fat,
and have some spices,
salt and spices.
Popcorn with porcupine fat.
Oh, that'd be good.
That'd be really good.
♪ ♪
Oh, my goodness.
It is cold, cold.
It's a reindeer parka today.
I'm gonna go down to the lake
and get some water.
♪ ♪
The lake is icing up.
So today, to get water,
I have to bust
through the ice with an ax.
♪ ♪
I didn't think I was gonna get
to watch the lake ice up,
and I am.
And I love it.
It's so beautiful.
I could sit here
and listen to this for hours.
[ice sloshing]
It just sounds like
the lake is breathing.
The ice chunks are, like,
rising and falling,
like, her chest.
It is so cool.
♪ ♪
I, like, want the lake
to ice up because
I could get my gill net
in the water
and I could fish.
Once I eat
all the porcupine fat,
I'm gonna need a fat source.
These fish are big.
They're fatty.
I'd really like to be
successful with fishing.
We'll see, though.
It's still not
thick enough yet.
Oh.
♪ ♪
Still feeling
really grateful to be here.
And if I start to feel
like things are getting hard,
I just think of my mom.
My mom is so strong.
She's, like,
an amazing example
of a strong, kind woman.
She's unstoppable.
I feel a lot of strength
when I think about my mama.
♪ ♪
I feel like
she watches over me.
♪ ♪
[exhales]
Dang toe, man.
Both my feet feel totally warm,
but then that tip of the toe
just, like, hurts a little bit.
[groans]
I gotta get a fire going
to warm up my toe.
Oh, dear.
♪ ♪
Man.
That's not good.
♪ ♪
I have a really big blister
on the tip of my toe,
and it's turned worse.
It turned, like,
this purple color.
Oh, no, it's going numb.
[groans]
Come on, toe.
I'm worried
that it might be frostbite.
It turned, like,
this purple color,
and it's hard now.
It was a soft blister,
and now it's hard.
[sighs]
It's really sensitive,
and I'm worried
that it might be frostbite.
♪ ♪
So I don't know what to do.
I don't want to risk losing
part of a toe, you know?
♪ ♪
[sighs]
Like, this isn't a game.
This is the real deal.
This is my body,
and this is my life.
And the decisions
I make now could--
they're gonna affect
the rest of my life.
Health is the most
important thing.
Like,
I could be uncomfortable.
I could be in pain.
I just don't want to do
any permanent damage.
And if I have frostbite,
then that toe will always
be more sensitive.
And if it gets worse,
I mean, I could lose my toe.
And I'm at a point
where I'm risking that.
The flip side of it is,
I could be the last one
standing out here.
Staying to the end
could totally change my life,
and it could really--
like, I have the opportunity
to really help out my family,
you know?
And so it's like
you want to push...
you want to--
I want to push my edge,
but I don't want to fall
over the edge, you know?
♪ ♪
Hmm.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
- I'm trying to figure out
what I want...
From this experience.
[chuckles]
Which...
The answer sounds obvious.
It's to win.
Right?
♪ ♪
Making it to 100 days.
♪ ♪
But there's this fear
that I won't...
You know,
I've dealt with cold before.
I know this cold.
I know what it's like.
But it's the others.
It's my family.
I want to gift them
a little ease in their life.
♪ ♪
You know, my dad,
before I left said,
"Remember,
you're never really alone."
♪ ♪
But I feel alone.
I'm sorry, Dad.
♪ ♪
And I want to win for women.
♪ ♪
But sometimes,
my mind is destructive...
to myself.
♪ ♪
We are our own worst enemies.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
Emotionally
is where I'm struggling,
because when it's cold,
and you need to find food,
you kind of get
a moment of panic.
And when you panic,
you think of, like,
"What would make me
comfortable right now?"
Home, warmth, food.
[sniffs]
[sighs]
[sobs]
I'm so happy...
to see this place
from up here again.
[sniffs]
♪ ♪
I'm ready to go home, though.
♪ ♪
I don't think it's worth it
to me emotionally
to keep going.
♪ ♪
[transponder beeping]
I've pushed my limits
as far as I want to push them,
and, um,
I am officially tapping out.
♪ ♪
Yes, I wish that I could win,
but that's not the way
the story's being written.
I'm proud,
and I won't have any regrets.
You have to always
move forward.
You can't live life
with regrets.
♪ ♪
Hi.
I'm ready to--I'm ready.
I'm ready to go home.
I'm out of fish,
and I'm not able
to be out on the ice
for long enough
to catch a fish...
[voice breaking]
Before my feet freeze.
[sobs]
I've lost the fight.
You can't see
a mental weakness,
and I think that's a...
a strength to recognize it
in yourself
that it's time.
♪ ♪
This experience was a really
good opportunity for me
to remember
that I can be strong
as an individual person.
Before I came out here,
I felt scared
and I felt unworthy
of the opportunity.
But throughout
the whole experience,
as every day went by,
I realized
more and more that...
I'm doing it.
I'm stepping up to the plate
and overcoming
these obstacles
as they come,
and I can do it without
falling back on someone.
I'm excited to go home
and just plan
the next adventure.
And I feel as though, like,
I can do anything now.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
- Broke out some heavier gear.
Got parka today.
Black bear mitts.
I got my gloves, too,
for working,
but when your hands
get super cold,
you can always
stick them in these.
Got my parka trimmed out
in the same fur my hat is.
Arctic wolf.
And musk ox pouch
with a little bit
of fishing gear.
[clears throat]
We'll go see what happens here.
We'll go give her a shot.
♪ ♪
Being out on the ice
is like being on the moon.
It's a whole nother
environment.
It's hostile.
It sure don't hurt
to have a pole along with you
in case you would hit
a bad spot
and go through.
Really slippery
right through there.
It's flat, and any little
breeze is like a knife.
♪ ♪
It's cutting right through
everything I got on.
♪ ♪
We're just gonna jab through.
I know it's deep here, anyway.
This is danger rock area...
where we caught all them fish.
I seen them out here jumping,
too, in deep water.
Whether they're here now or not
is anybody's guess.
I'm gonna find out.
♪ ♪
Everybody's gonna watch this
and say,
"Oh, he had all that musk ox,"
but that musk ox is an old,
dry, tough bull.
There are certain animals
that are fat.
Beaver, raccoons,
possums, bears.
You can live off fat animals.
I call it fat meat.
That porcupine was fat meat,
and I miss it already.
But musk ox ain't.
Musk ox is more like
a buffalo, lean.
So I'm really hoping
to get a fresh fish or two
here through the ice,
and that'll supplement
my diet.
♪ ♪
I've done a lot of ice fishing.
Mostly,
you're just standing there,
pulling away
and not catching fish.
Every now and then,
you'll make a hole,
bam, you'll catch one
first whack.
Then you might not catch
a fish there again.
Nothing.
I could go get
some [bleep] woodcock
instead of wasting time
jerking a line.
♪ ♪
Temperature's gonna
start dropping.
You can bet your a*s on that.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
- Guess what actually happened.
The lake has iced up!
The lake has iced up finally!
Now I can go ice fishing.
Check it out.
Look at this.
The lake is iced up!
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
So awesome.
Get some hooks in the water.
So freaking excited.
♪ ♪
I am about to go ice fishing
for the first time ever
in my life,
so wish me luck.
For weeks, I've been thinking
about what it's gonna be like
to get out on the ice,
and now I can finally
walk out on the ice.
It's like walking out
onto a whole new world.
♪ ♪
I'm really hopeful
to catch a fish,
but I also know there's gonna
be a learning curve
for sure.
Luck is gonna have to be
on my side.
[grunts]
This is gonna take a while.
Whew.
Oh, man, it's thick.
I hear, like,
a popping underneath me.
Is that okay?
I think it's normal.
I made the safety ladder.
If I fall down in the ice,
I have something
to help pull myself
up out of it.
♪ ♪
Praying for safety out here.
Water!
Whoo-hoo!
♪ ♪
I made a lucky hook
and it has porcupine hair,
rabbit fur,
a part of a porcupine kidney,
and a clay sinker
from clay from this land.
Kay.
If I just caught
one single fish,
then all I have to do
is keep my fire going
and keep my toe warm.
If I get one fish,
that can sustain me
for the rest of my time here.
Come on, little fishes.
Come on, little fishy.
[wind howling]
Come on, fish,
doesn't that porcupine kidney
smell delicious?
It's gotta smell good.
♪ ♪
That's a cold wind.
♪ ♪
[sighs]
[grunts]
My frostbitten toe
is cold again.
[sighs]
It has been a huge challenge
keeping this toe
from refreezing.
Dang it,
my toe is going numb.
[bleep]
I have to stop
and rewarm my toe.
And by the time
I get it all rewarmed,
it's gonna be dark.
[groans]
Toe, come on, toe.
♪ ♪
[groans]
Man.
Just--I feel like
I'm working with limited time.
♪ ♪
It's gonna get harder
to do things
without food in my belly.
[sighs heavily]
♪ ♪
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
- Well, we had to gear up
a little bit better for today.
It's sure enough winter now.
Me and big chips here.
I'm gonna go down
and have a look at that ice,
see what all
we're getting into there.
♪ ♪
It's a new world today.
♪ ♪
Now we gotta start
battling through the ice
to get our water.
♪ ♪
We have now entered
the hyper-cold.
Every night now,
it's south of 30 below.
That type of cold
is trying to k*ll you.
Getting the most
basic essentials--
that's gonna be
my daily struggle.
Another layer.
Ratcheting up the difficulty.
This ain't no playground.
One wrong move
in cold like this
could be disaster.
♪ ♪
- Gonna rewarm my feet again.
♪ ♪
It's so cold,
and with the frostbite
on my toe,
I have to stop and rewarm
my feet all the time.
♪ ♪
All right, I still have to go
down to the lake and get water,
otherwise, I don't have
any water to drink.
♪ ♪
I have to be really careful
with this toe.
I can't let it refreeze,
otherwise I risk losing a toe.
Come on, toe, I just need
another couple of minutes.
I gotta just keep going.
I gotta keep trying.
It's so cold,
and the days are short.
So I only have
a short window
to get my basic chores done.
♪ ♪
Come on, don't go numb.
sh**t.
♪ ♪
sh**t.
Oh, come on.
All right,
we gotta get back to camp.
♪ ♪
- It is cold outside
this morning, folks.
You can see it right over
my left shoulder here.
Just the steam
streaming into Rock House.
The air is so cold
between them door flaps,
when it comes up
over the top here,
hits the warm air,
it just makes
this steady stream of steam.
And over here,
big frost building up
here in the corner.
That's just from last night,
all them frost crystals.
And it'll keep getting colder,
too.
Firewood becomes just
damn near everything now.
♪ ♪
- I'm just trying get things
done before my toe freezes.
Look how [bleep] cold it is.
Wow. That's cold.
I am frosted up.
I'm burning a lot of firewood
'cause I have to, like,
burn a fire
in the middle of the day.
I want to keep going.
I have motivation.
I have strength,
but it's so hard
because I get going
and then I have to stop
and rewarm my toe.
♪ ♪
- My deal right now
is [bleep] fighting
this [bleep] damn cold.
But since this hyper-cold hit,
I can't get ahead
on this firewood.
Well,
the sun comes up right here,
scoots along the edge
of the lake, and...
[blows raspberry] Goes back
down in, like, four hours.
It takes that long
to cut enough wood
to go the next 18 hours
in Rock House all night long.
I am battling it out
every damn day.
♪ ♪
It's gonna be [bleep] deadly,
deadly cold tonight.
I'm gonna go get in Rock House
and prepare for the worst.
♪ ♪
- Everything's just
cold and frozen.
It takes so much time.
It's, like,
two hours to dry everything.
It's a struggle to keep warm.
♪ ♪
- Long-a*s nights
for a man to just sit here
with his thoughts.
♪ ♪
It's hard.
It's very hard.
Right now,
trying to stay warm.
Trying to keep your mind
from thinking about
getting out.
♪ ♪
And...
I don't know why
I keep doing it.
I don't.
It's tough right now.
These last days are gonna
be absolutely brutal.
♪ ♪
I need a pot of berries
this morning,
so I'm doing that first thing.
This is it for the berries,
though.
This is it, the berry log.
Once these are done,
the berries are done.
But it's, you know,
pretty good size.
We're in
the final stretches here.
This is what I prepared for
all of September,
October, and November.
But right now,
my body's just craving
white bread,
peanut butter, donuts,
all that great comfort food
that we just take for granted.
♪ ♪
Take out a little bit of moss
and kind of see how they look.
I haven't looked in there
for a long time.
Well, they're sticking
to the moss a little bit.
And they shrunk up
and got a little moldy.
♪ ♪
They got more than
a little moldy.
♪ ♪
Damn it.
I might've [bleep] up.
That ain't so good.
I think we lost the berries
to mold.
Kind of concerned right now.
See them all clumped together
and mildewy?
♪ ♪
I had fire in here
all the time,
and all the heat stays up
in your ceiling.
So them berries never froze.
♪ ♪
Boy, I was relying
heavily on these.
We're running out of options
here pretty fast.
♪ ♪
I might eat
that stomach contents.
♪ ♪
Right here
is my stomach paunch...
that I brought off the mouth
on that--with that musk ox.
It's just a piece
of his stomach
with its contents...
inside.
That's what's gonna
go in the pot.
♪ ♪
I learned about
stomach contents
through my reading
and research
throughout my whole life.
And that's what the musk ox
eats right there.
The teeth on them animals
are made
for grinding up grass.
We can eat grass, too.
Grass is edible.
But we can't chew it up enough
to get it into
a fine-enough form
to where we're getting
the most out of it.
That musk ox
chewed that stuff,
burped it up later,
chewed it again,
and swallowed it.
Plus, their stomachs
have different bacteria
that's made
for breaking down grasses.
I know it's edible
'cause it has a sour smell.
[bleep] nasty.
Well, that ain't a bad thing.
That sour smell told me that
this was a nutritious meal.
♪ ♪
Hot and ready.
Whatever the musk ox
was eating,
that's what we're eating.
Rock House spinach.
Musk ox stomach contents.
♪ ♪
I am never taking food
for granted.
Never, ever again.
♪ ♪
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
- Hello, hello, in there.
How's everybody doing?
I hope you're doing fantastic.
I hope you all are having
a fantastic day.
It's another day
in an arctic paradise.
You know, some of you guys
might be wondering,
"What is up with Callie, man?
"Shouldn't she just be
cold and miserable?
"Why is she happy
and laughing all the time?
What's up?"
Well, I gotta be honest.
I have a secret.
It's Cajun sparkle.
Yeah, that's right.
Cajun sparkle.
So my sister Ravana
is amazing,
and she's hilarious.
And those words,
Cajun sparkle,
are magic words,
and if anyone says them,
then she starts
laughing hysterically
for, like, 20 minutes.
And so if I think
of Cajun sparkle,
then I can just hear her laugh,
and it makes me so happy.
[laughs]
So, you know,
if I ever get down,
I just sprinkle
a little Cajun sparkle on it,
and it's all good.
[laughing]
So, Ravana, Cajun sparkle!
[giggles]
Oh, jeez.
♪ ♪
We're gonna go check
the trap line.
Let's rock and roll.
I really hope I can still
keep catching rabbits
because this porcupine
won't last forever.
♪ ♪
Man, nothing in this section.
Dang.
Let's go check the next one.
♪ ♪
The trap line's
been less productive
because of all the snow.
♪ ♪
I still really need you,
rabbits.
I really need you.
♪ ♪
What?
Oh, my God, a rabbit.
Oh, thank you.
Oh, thank you,
thank you, thank you.
This rabbit means another day,
another day of good eating.
♪ ♪
Of course,
I am so looking forward
to seeing my loved ones.
Like, I miss my sweetheart
and my family and my friends.
But there's something here.
It's this magical feeling
of feeling connected.
Having a relationship
with my food
and a relationship
with my heat source
and a relationship
with the water
that I'm drinking.
The longer I'm out here,
the quieter my mind gets--
just making me even more
not ready to leave.
I'm so here.
So I'm just remembering
what the modern world is like,
and not ready to go back.
Oh, yeah.
Favorite meal.
Snowshoe hare organs
fried in porcupine fat.
Whoo-hoo!
♪ ♪
I still feel strong.
My body still feels strong.
With my toe,
if I'm just careful,
then I can stay out here.
All right.
Mmm.
It's too good.
It is too good.
Living the dream out here.
It's another day
in an arctic paradise.
That's right.
I'm not ready to go home.
I can go to day 100.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
[fire crackling]
- It's just another long
cold-a*s night in Rock House.
You sleep a couple hours,
and then you get up and you...
put wood on the fire.
It's an endless cycle.
Soon as that fire goes out,
you feel the temperature
just plummet in here.
But...
no, this is that time...
[wind howling]
Where you just...
You enter a--
a zone where you're...
♪ ♪
Where you're kind of
only half...
[bleep] there.
You're dormant.
Just spend a lot of time
in the sleeping bag now,
just conserving energy,
trying to stay warm,
trying to keep your mind
from thinking about
all the food it ain't got.
This is it.
This is the battle right now.
♪ ♪
One little slip-up
could be disaster
in these temperatures.
Absolutely.
♪ ♪
Need to go get our water
for the day.
♪ ♪
It's starting to snow.
[sighs]
I gotta get going.
♪ ♪
I hope it backs off
a little bit.
[wind howling]
♪ ♪
It's coming down hard.
♪ ♪
Can't see [bleep] right now.
♪ ♪
Getting [bleep]
dangerous out here.
It's turning
into full-blown whiteout.
You can't even see now.
One minute ago,
we could see the timber,
and now nothing.
♪ ♪
I gotta get back while I can
still see where I'm going.
We're entering full-blown
whiteout conditions right now.
♪ ♪
You can get turned around
and lost bad in whiteout.
There's been men perish
within 50 yards
of their cabins in whiteouts.
♪ ♪
Right now,
I gotta get off this ice.
It's just blinding out here.
♪ ♪
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
- It's turning
into full-blown whiteout.
You can't even see now.
♪ ♪
We gotta make for Rock House.
Can't see [bleep] right now.
♪ ♪
This is my life's culmination
happening right now
in this storm.
My dad was a heavy reader
and fantasized
about this lifestyle.
And he'd read the books
and then he'd pass
the books onto me
and I caught this fever.
But me and Mom
wasn't the tightest.
She took care of me
when I was little,
but as I got older,
we drifted apart.
My mother just passed away
while I was prepping myself
for this participation
in "Alone."
I was too absorbed
in my own stuff
to even go home
to her funeral.
I got off my trail.
I can see it a little bit,
but it's not good.
And sadly,
you just finally figure out...
what a great mother you had.
♪ ♪
I'm following my tracks
before I lose them.
To get off the ice.
[steps crunching]
But she's gone,
and I want to win it
for my mother.
I want to dedicate it
to my mother.
Whether I do that or not,
I don't know.
♪ ♪
We're back up
in the timber now.
We're pretty good.
The serious whiteout conditions
are out on the lake ice
where you got no landmarks.
Here, we got some trees
and some old trail
and some rocks
that I'm familiar with.
We still want to get
our a*s back to camp
and get started
on tonight's firewood
and get out of this whiteout.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
- Well, today is gill net day.
I am very excited.
Untangle my cord.
Can I do this?
Mitts off.
♪ ♪
I need the dexterity,
and so I need
to not have over-mitts on.
♪ ♪
It's so cold out here.
It's crazy.
Oh, man, challenges.
I just need to get
this gill net in the water,
but my fingers are cold.
My toes are cold.
Camera screen's frozen.
[laughs]
So we got some challenges here.
Frozen, frozen, frozen, frozen.
♪ ♪
[sighs]
I want to try fishing again.
I'm getting skinnier,
and I know that I need fat.
Oh, I need a fish.
Oh,
I need a fish.
♪ ♪
If I catch one fish,
then I can stay
another 12 days.
♪ ♪
My spirit feels strong.
All I need
is fish and firewood
and warm toes.
♪ ♪
Come on, fishes.
♪ ♪
I'm so hungry.
♪ ♪
All I need is a fish.
It's a million-dollar fish.
♪ ♪
Oh, man.
I don't wanna stay out here.
♪ ♪
Oh, come on, toe.
Don't get cold.
My toe's not gonna be able
to last much longer.
♪ ♪
Man, dang it, toe.
I just need time.
I need to keep fishing.
I need to be out here
trying to get food.
♪ ♪
Dang it, dang it, dang it,
dang it, dang it.
♪ ♪
I need to stop and rewarm it.
♪ ♪
Just bone broth
in the pot tonight,
and I am hungry.
I'm really hoping
to catch a fish.
♪ ♪
This is just so hard because
I'm so close
to making it 100 days.
And I feel like I can.
Gotta just keep on trying.
That's what we're doing.
Just bone broth for dinner.
♪ ♪
When I start
to feel frustrated
and feel like
maybe I can't do this,
I think of my parents.
I think of my grandparents,
and how hard they had it
and what they had to do
to keep going.
And they didn't have
a red button to push
and just get help.
No matter what hardships
that they face,
they just had to keep going.
Keep trying.
Keep adapting.
And that strength lives on
inside of me.
♪ ♪
So I have to keep going.
♪ ♪
I pray, I pray, I pray
to sleep
with warm feet tonight.
♪ ♪
Oh, my foot.
Man, my toes got
so cold last night.
I just spent most the night
rubbing my feet together
and rubbing my hands
on my toes,
but it seemed to make
no difference.
I'm just worried about it
because the frostbite
is starting to spread
under the nail bed,
and that's not very good.
♪ ♪
[device beeping]
Ah.
What's that about?
Oh, no,
I hope it's not med check
because then it'd be early,
and that would mean they're
worried about something.
"Please be at shelter
for a site visit."
No!
Oh, man.
♪ ♪
Dang it.
♪ ♪
- Okay.
♪ ♪
Careful with the socks.
They're fragile.
All my socks
have burn holes in them.
♪ ♪
- Yeah.
♪ ♪
- Yeah.
♪ ♪
- Okay.
All right.
♪ ♪
- Okay.
♪ ♪
[suspenseful music]
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
- So we brought the doctor out.
- Yep.
- And the doctor confirmed that
there was spreading frostbite
in your right big toe.
The doctor also noticed
that there was
a little bit of new frostbite
in your left big toe.
You're malnourished,
and that makes recovery
even more difficult.
What we're trying to avoid is,
as you know,
serious, devastating,
and potentially
irreversible damage...
- Yeah.
- To your frostbitten feet,
and so as a result,
I'm gonna have to extract you
from the field
for medical reasons.
- [sighs]
♪ ♪
[sniffles]
Today?
Right--today?
- Yep.
- Okay.
♪ ♪
It's such a challenging
situation because my...
my spirit feels
really strong out here.
And I feel like
I have so much motivation
and so much strength
to keep going.
And I feel like
I have another 11 days.
[sighs]
I love this place so much.
♪ ♪
[sobs]
But I don't want to lose a toe.
[laughs]
I love my feet very, very much.
I want to--
I want to do what's best
for my feet
'cause I only get these feet.
I don't get--I'm not gonna--
I can't grow
another pair of toes.
[laughs]
♪ ♪
[sobs]
[uplifting music]
This experience
has been so inspiring
and empowering to me.
I don't see the wilderness
as a scary foreign place
to struggle against.
This place is where
we all come from.
Humans have lived like this
longer than they've lived
how we're living now.
And I just got
the opportunity to spend
three months...
practicing the skills
of my ancestors,
and I got a taste
what it felt like
to live in the old way,
to live on the land.
♪ ♪
My DNA remembers
living like this,
and it just feels right.
♪ ♪
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
- Here, I got my musk ox,
who...
I want to eat that tonight.
My plan is I'm just gonna
throw it in the fire.
Wholesale.
I want to burn it
blacker than coal,
same way I did the porcupine.
I'm gonna tie a wire to it
so that I can get it back out
and turn it and all that.
♪ ♪
That's enough wire
right there.
♪ ♪
There we go.
Musk ox hoof barbecue.
We're getting down
to the nitty gritty.
There ain't much musk ox left.
We gotta use
each and every piece.
I think this is the hardest
thing I've ever done,
but I will tell you
without shame
that I pray I come out of here
a better man
and a more thankful man
for all my blessings,
all my food.
It's hot.
It's a hot potato.
Might've went a little too far
with burning it.
I don't know.
We'll find out.
And that was the hoof.
It tastes like [bleep]
the other way, but roasted?
Not bad.
Not bad at all.
♪ ♪
Now, the nighttime.
The long, arctic night...
where alls a man has to do
is feed the fire
and feel with his own thoughts.
♪ ♪
I've been told countless times
I'm too much to hang around,
and that's why I don't got
a lot of friends.
I've been thinking
about all the people
I've neglected along the way.
♪ ♪
I have been blessed
with the two best parents
on the face of the planet,
and I have not spent
much time with them.
And we'll set up right here.
Poke a hole for water,
and do a little ice fishing.
I turned 48 on this trip.
I didn't celebrate it.
I just bypassed it.
It just reminds me now
of my mother a little bit.
♪ ♪
Pretty deep here.
I would never let my mother
celebrate my birthday
the way she wanted,
especially as I got older.
I always messed her plans up.
I wouldn't be there
or be grumpy or something.
Well, that's it.
♪ ♪
As a young man,
young men
resents that mothering
when he's wanting to go off
and try his self
against the world, you know?
♪ ♪
She never really
understood me.
She loved me to a fault,
but she wasn't into
the old woodsman stuff.
My whole life's been
about me, me, me.
I've focused on
what I want to do.
But now, as an older man,
I look back on her
as a treasure.
And that's just how life is.
Life's a tragedy
all the around for all of us.
♪ ♪
But now I'm sat in here
in Rock House
with all this time on my hand
at the apex of my career,
and I'm just feeling like
I haven't done
my family right,
my mother and father
and sister.
I have not spent very much
of my adult life with them.
I've pursued everything
I ever wanted to do.
So today is 99,
Christmas Day.
♪ ♪
Perfect Christmas tree.
Look at that.
Christmas tree for Rock House.
But in the end,
it can only be what it is.
It is what it is.
I like that saying.
I'm not sure how I'm gonna be
when I get out of here.
I thought nothing could ever
change me or crack me,
but I am definitely gonna be
a more thankful man.
Oh, yeah, that's gonna work
real good up on there.
I'll never forget
this Christmas.
Never as long as I live.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
[ax thunking]
This is a great day for me.
[clears throat]
Very great.
Struck off day 100
right here on calendar tree.
Day number one's clear
down there at the bottom
on this side.
And clear around and...
had to keep going on up.
Today is day 100.
I commemorate my dead mother,
just deceased, with it.
♪ ♪
Always been alone.
♪ ♪
Even when I'm with somebody,
even in a crowd,
I don't know,
I'm just kind of always...
I'm just sort of always...
an island that way.
♪ ♪
Dead silent right now.
Dead silent and calm.
[sniffs]
Everything has
a rhythm and a beat,
and the silence
is one of the...
[sighs]
Most soothing ones.
I just love to...
Hear the dead silence,
if that makes any sense.
[humming]
[humming]
In the dead silence,
you can hear
your departed mother
sing a hymn in church
from 30 years ago.
That's what you get
out of the silence.
[sniffles]
♪ Standing ♪
♪ Standing ♪
[humming]
[humming]
We did it, Ma.
Right here is where I keep
my mother's picture,
right beside my bunk.
♪ ♪
All this time, I said "we"
and didn't know who,
and it was mother.
♪ ♪
I'll bet it was mother.
It is mother, not was.
It is mother.
♪ ♪
We did it.
Today is day 100.
We did it.
♪ ♪
- Hey, Roland!
- [laughs]
Oh, man.
- Hey, Bubba!
- Hey, it's little Meg!
- [shouts]
- It's Meg in Rock House!
♪ ♪
[shouts]
- Meg, it's really you!
[laughs]
- I love you!
I love you, too.
- I love you.
- I love you, too, Meg.
- I love you,
love you, love you.
- I can't believe it.
I can't believe it.
- You did it!
You did it!
- I did!
I'm your dang king right here!
- [shouts]
You did it!
Yes!
[laughs]
- You can't even believe
how hard it was.
Oh, my God.
- You did it.
[cheers]
- The whole thing
has given me a little more--
I know it's so weird and sad
that your mother has to die
before you get it,
but the whole thing's
given me a little more...
continuity with family,
perhaps.
- That's right.
- Yeah.
- We gotta spend
more time together.
- Yeah, I need to see you
and Dad a little bit more.
- We need to spend more,
mm-hmm.
- How's Dad?
He's good.
- Good.
- The whole family
is proud of you.
[upbeat music]
- You gotta look
at Rock House.
- Oh, yes!
[laughs]
- Wandered into a musk ox.
- [yells]
- And k*lled it.
- Oh, my gosh.
This is just so amazing.
- Uh-huh.
It's about all gone.
- You still have some left?
- Uh-huh.
- [laughs]
♪ ♪
- This is marrow bone.
♪ ♪
It's like a big piece
of king crab meat.
- Look at that.
- This is good.
Raw marrow.
That's my butter.
That's Rock House butter.
♪ ♪
- That is.
- Uh-huh.
- [laughs]
♪ ♪
Wow.
- What a blessing
to be standing here,
breaking marrow bones with you.
- I know.
♪ ♪
- I've done some risky [bleep]
my whole life,
but this is absolutely
the hardest thing I ever did.
♪ ♪
But it turned out to be
the greatest thing
I ever done.
I have just won a giant prize
doing something
so dear to my heart
that I spent
my whole life doing.
All my life,
I fought and clawed
up through the ranks
of woodsmens and hunters
and trying to be
the best at it,
and getting beat
a lot of times.
But life is a long race.
♪ ♪
Hell, yeah, here we come.
- Whoo!
- The bulk of this money,
I don't even know yet
where it's going,
but it ain't
getting thrown away
on a big house
and a big pickup truck.
No, it's gonna last me
the rest of my life.
I'm gonna slow down
and start spending
some more time with family.
I'll spend more time
with my sister and my dad.
♪ ♪
But now,
I want to dedicate this win,
this whole thing,
to my deceased mother,
Mona Welker.
I love you, Mom.
I hope you're watching.
♪ ♪
- Coming up, I'll be speaking
to the final three
[dramatic music]
- Welcome to "Alone:
Tales from the Arctic."
I'm Colby Donaldson,
here with the final three
from the finale episode,
Kielyn, Callie, and Roland.
The final two-hour episode
covers 36 days
of the challenge,
and there is a lot
to cover here.
Callie,
I want to start with you.
When did you truly consider
winter in the arctic
was in full effect?
- When I was in my shelter
with a nice, big fire going,
and there was ice
inside of my shelter
with the fire going,
I felt like that was when
the arctic winter
was in full swing.
Is that ice on the inside
of the fireplace?
That's crazy.
[chuckles]
- Kielyn, let's talk about
the shortening of the days,
the lack of sunlight--
talk to us about that.
- Yeah, for the entire month
of November,
I did not see the sun
because the way
that my bay was,
it was creating
this localized cloud.
And so it was this band,
and the sun
was so low in the sky
that it would raise and then
be in that band of cloud
the entire day.
And I wouldn't get to see
the sun at all.
That takes a toll on you
emotionally.
- Yeah.
Callie, we see you still have
that porcupine meat
just tempting you.
When it's that cold
and you are that hungry,
what's your mind telling you
at that point
about eating the meat?
My mind is saying,
"Eat the meat."
I was just drooling.
I was eating rabbits,
and they're so lean.
And even though I had
the rabbits to eat,
I would just be staring
at that porcupine
covered in fat,
and I wanted to eat it
so badly.
That's pretty fatty
compared to this rabbit.
It's, like, no fat.
So I had to work really hard
to make sure
I was thinking
about it logically
and not just letting my stomach
make the choice for me.
- Well, and I mean,
ultimately,
it put you in a crossroad,
right?
You've gotta
make that decision.
It's a big choice.
What ultimately made you
pick what you did?
- I knew if I wanted to stay,
I had to eat the porcupine,
so I decided to eat
the porcupine
because I was already
exposed to the disease.
Even before
I opened the porcupine up
to see that the liver
was spotted,
I had already touched
the porcupine blood.
So I was already exposed,
and since I didn't get sick,
I felt safe to go ahead
and try eating
the porcupine.
All that fatty deliciousness,
and it was good.
- Yeah.
Well, Roland,
you also got a porcupine,
but instead of using
your bow and arrow,
you clubbed it.
What led to that decision?
I'm curious.
- It was a porcupine
on the ground in the open,
and I just didn't need
to risk an arrow.
And I had time
to round up a club,
and that's one
of my favorite ways
to dispatch anyway.
I'm kind of a club
sort of dude,
so it was good.
- You talk about being born
in the wrong century, Roland,
and now you're talking about
being so comfortable
using a club.
I don't mean this
as a derogatory term at all,
but there is a certain
caveman aspect,
very primal,
about what you do.
Is there not?
- Yeah.
The more basic, the better.
Blood and guts, dirt and mud.
Anything that I can get
my hands into, you know?
I like to be close to my work.
[grunts]
[growling]
- One of the most memorable
parts of the episode,
Callie, at one point,
there's something bothering
you on your shoulder.
Not sure what it is, but you
got a little pain going on.
You start to peel the layers
off only to ultimately realize
you have a porcupine
quill completely
embedded under the skin
on the back of your shoulder,
probably one of the most
inopportune places
to have something like that
because being solo,
you gotta figure out
how to dig that thing out.
Take us through
that experience.
- Yeah, it was crazy.
It's one of those things
that just work
deeper and deeper in,
and it would've just kept
working, working, working
its way in just like it worked
all through the layers
I had on into my skin.
And it would've just
kept going deeper,
and where it was,
it was really hard
for me to reach it,
and I couldn't really see it.
I was using the camera
to be able to see the quill.
I could've really used
an extra pair of hands.
- Kielyn, there was
a good chunk of this episode
where you're the only who's
able to get out on the ice
and fish.
Do you think,
looking back now,
if you had been able
to get one more big fish,
you could've stayed out there
maybe the full 100 days?
- Yeah, I don't think
there was any hindsight
necessary in that.
From the day that I started
ice fishing,
I had goal.
If I could get seven fish,
then that would take me
to the end.
And I landed four fish,
and I actually caught seven.
So I lost three fish,
and I do believe had I had
not lost those three fish,
that absolutely would've
taken me to the end.
[shouts]
[groans]
[bleep]
- When you lost those,
at the moment it happened,
were you able to realize
how pivotal that was
for you in the competition?
- Absolutely.
When you lose one fish,
you're not just
losing one meal.
You're losing an entire week.
And when you're only
catching a fish
every five or six days,
that is a huge blow.
- Well, Kielyn,
you have referred
to the "Alone" experience
as your Olympics,
so much so that you even made
some medals.
Let's take a look at this
never-before-seen footage
of you doing just that.
♪ ♪
- I made three survival
"Alone" Olympic medals.
I shined up some tin can lids.
There's the gold.
So I carved a wooden medallion.
This is silver.
For bronze...
rainbow!
Tomorrow's day 80.
I think I'm done.
It's a really hard feeling
feeling like
you need to justify
why you want to leave,
and only I know
what I've been through
and what I've accomplished
and how I've grown as a person.
And I feel--
I feel good about it.
Thank you, everyone,
who cheered me on,
and I hope that whoever's left
kicks some a*s
to make it to day 100.
- Okay, three medals.
I mean, I gotta tell you,
I find it a little interesting
that there are
three of you left
out there at this point.
There is no way you could've
known that at that point.
What did those medals
represent to you?
- I was just honored
to be there for that long.
I didn't know
what place I was in,
but I just assumed that there
were more people out there.
I assumed I hadn't won,
and I wanted to honor them.
- Kielyn, let's talk about
when you did decide to tap out.
It ended up being day 80,
and there's probably gonna be
some viewers out there that
think, "Well, it was only
Why didn't she just
stick with it?"
Why day 80 for you?
- There were so many signs
that were starting to pop up
that were telling me
that it was time.
I was starting not to be able
to keep myself warm
at nighttime,
and then one of the major
signs for me was
when I would be warming up
my hands,
my hands would be literally
in the fire,
and the backs of my hands
were frozen.
Frostbite, you know,
that has long-term
implications for me.
And I needed to think
beyond winning,
beyond the money,
so I was really glad
to make the decision
when I did
to prevent any, you know,
permanent damage.
- Well, and there was a point
where you said
you're proud and you won't
live with any regrets.
Do you still feel that way?
- Absolutely.
I--that's how I live my life,
you know,
always moving forward.
I really feel like
this whole experience
has a renewed sense
of independence for me,
and that's gonna help me
along my journey in life.
- Excellent,
well, there is still
Tell me what was
going through your head
when you first realized that's
what you were dealing with
in your toes.
- I was feeling concerned,
and it's a really tricky
situation out there
because the days are so short.
If it's light out,
you gotta be moving.
And the frostbite really
was kind of a lesson to me
because I could feel it.
I knew that my toes were numb
and they were too cold
and that I should've stopped
to rewarm them.
But I wanted
to just keep pushing
and get things done
and I was like,
"I'll rewarm my feet
when it's dark outside."
And I ultimately
paid for that.
- How frustrating was it
that you constantly
had to take breaks
from fishing
just to go warm up your toe?
- It was agonizing because
I had about a two-hour window
between getting my mukluks on
and having warm feet.
I could get outside and do
things for about two hours,
and then my toe
would start to go numb
and I would start
being concerned
that I was causing
permanent long-term damage
and causing more damage
than I already had.
- Well, and at some point,
you know,
you alerted the survival team
and let them know you had it.
In fact, they flew out
in a helicopter.
We have some
never-before-seen footage.
Let's take a look.
♪ ♪
- Hey!
♪ ♪
- So...
- My main thing is my toe.
There's a bit of frostbite.
- So we need to see the feet.
- I've been watching it
and checking it,
and it has changed
a little bit.
It's traveled just a little bit
towards the nail.
- Is it sore?
Does that hurt?
- It doesn't hurt.
- Okay.
- Have you thought about
leaving the field
because of the toe?
- The thought has crossed
my mind,
but my conclusion is
as long as I keep it warm
and it doesn't start
changing dramatically,
then I feel totally fine
to just stay out here.
♪ ♪
- We checked with medical.
So you have
second-degree frostbite
on the tip
of your big right toe.
- Oh, second?
- Yeah, second.
First is, like--
- First is just
the very outer layers.
- Yeah.
- Second, it's starting to get
deeper into your skin--
- Okay.
- So it's
second-degree frostbite.
There is a certain point
at which we could extract
for what we consider
dangerous frostbite.
If we see frostbite
that's disfiguring,
if it reaches third
or fourth-degree frostbite,
if it's complicated
by an open wound,
or any other point deemed
necessary by our doctor,
then we would say, "Okay,
may we need to take her out."
We want to prevent
any permanent damage.
- Okay.
♪ ♪
- Callie, what's your reaction
to seeing that?
- It's hard to see it
because I just want to stay
and keep going out there.
But also knowing
that my physical edge
is being touched at least,
it was--it's really hard.
- Was it more or less difficult
that they made
the decision for you?
- You know, on the one hand,
when the decision's made
for you,
you kind of can't rehash
in your head,
"Oh, was that
the right decision,"
'cause it was sort of
out of your hands.
So that makes it
a little bit easier.
But there's a lot of challenges
that come with that, too.
There's a lot of power
in making the decision
for yourself
and choosing when you go
and being able to have,
like, the time to say
good-bye to your land,
and it's definitely harder
to be pulled out
when you're not ready to go.
And for me,
my heart was so in it.
I wanted to stay out there
till the end.
I wanted to see it through,
so it's, um--
it was really hard.
- After the experience, Callie,
what was the healing process
like for your toes,
and how is the toe now?
- It was
a pretty long process,
and the healing took months.
I had, you know,
bandages on my feet,
and the frostbite
had to be abraded off.
It wasn't a very
pleasant process,
but my toe regrew.
But it's probably gonna be
a lifelong thing forever now.
Those toes will be more
sensitive to cold,
and more susceptible
to frostbite in the future.
- What is next for you, Callie?
- I'm gonna stay outside,
keep developing
my relationship
to the wild world.
Gonna stay grateful.
This was one of the most
powerful experiences
of my life,
and I don't want it
just to be boiled down to,
"Well, I got frostbite
and had to go home."
I left it feeling
completely empowered,
and like I could do anything.
And that's the feeling
I want to hold,
not that I had to go home
because of frostbite.
But I want to focus on what
I did accomplish out there,
which was a lot.
- Roland, there was
an interesting sequence
in the episode of you
being out on the ice
during a whiteout.
Woven in there,
you're talking about
sort of losing your way
with your mother
and your family.
Tell me about
how this experience,
you know,
has brought some clarity
on that particular aspect
of your life.
- You can get twisted up
in the whiteout.
There's a pretty neat
analogy there, you know?
Twisted up doesn't mean
you're lost.
You found your way home,
and just as I found
my way to Rock House,
I find my way home to my family
every time, too.
- What is it about
this experience, Roland,
that digs up
those types of memories
and the emotions
that go along with them?
- It's the time.
There's just so much time
on your hands,
and the solitude.
And you just got time
to go back in your head.
The time and the solitude
takes you to those
old memories.
- I do want to take a look
at some
never-before-seen footage
that we have of you
making it to the end.
Let's take a peek at this.
♪ ♪
- Here, I'll show you
my little tool collection
I've been saving.
They're just the way
the bones break
and any of it
look interesting to me.
I save, of course,
all the pointy ones,
but then there's my favorites.
Like this one.
I use it a lot.
And here, I made pipe.
This here was
a part of the hip bone
of that first hind leg
I cooked.
Then that there
is a rabbit leg bone
that I sucked
the marrow out of,
made a perfect stem.
I been smoking
some willow bark.
♪ ♪
I shave it down,
make these frizzles.
And then they dry quick.
I peel them off
and put them in my pipe.
♪ ♪
So there it is.
Cabin.
Meat.
Firewood.
Winter, Christmas.
coming to a close.
Mission accomplished.
- All right, Roland,
I just want to get
your reaction on that.
- Before launch,
I was asked,
"What's gonna happen out there,
Roland?"
And I said,
"I'm gonna build a log cabin.
"I'm gonna cut
a winter's worth of wood.
"I'm gonna sh**t a bull moose.
"And I'm gonna make it
look so easy.
"I'm gonna take up
smoking again
"and smoke my pipe
sitting out
in front of the cabin."
Well, I did that
after a fashion.
I built Rock House.
I shot a bull musk ox.
I cut my winter's wood.
And I sat out there
in front of the whole world,
smoking my musk ox bone pipe
with willow bark,
but it wasn't easy.
It wasn't easy,
but I'll say it again.
Mission accomplished.
- Roland, any idea what you're
gonna spend that money on?
- I'm gonna make the rounds
of the home folks,
and see my people
and probably take on
another expedition.
Disappearing for a year,
that has a nice ring to it.
- [laughs]
Callie, Ky,
you two were there
almost just as long as Roland.
Any parting words for him?
- Congratulations, Roland.
I mean, you crushed it.
It's impressive.
- Yeah, Roland, you're a beast.
You got mad skills,
and it's crazy
the things you've done.
I mean, stabbing a musk ox?
You're insane.
[laughs]
- Thank you.
You girls were chasing me
really hard.
You got the pioneer spirit
in you.
You were tough competition.
- Well, that is it for
"Alone: Tales from the Artic."
I'd like to thank
Kielyn, Callie, and Roland
and all the participants
of "Alone:
Million Dollar Challenge.
Right now,
there is another crop
of "Alone" participants
gearing up for our next season.
We hope you tune in for that.
Until then,
get outside, thrive.
We'll see you then.
♪ ♪
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07x11 - Over the Edge
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Follows the self-documented daily struggles of 10 individuals (seven paired teams in season 4) as they survive alone in the wilderness for as long as possible using a limited amount of survival equipment.
Follows the self-documented daily struggles of 10 individuals (seven paired teams in season 4) as they survive alone in the wilderness for as long as possible using a limited amount of survival equipment.