09x10 - Winter's Grasp

[bunniefuu]

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- The bird trap was triggered.
No birdie.

If I go another week
without catching anything,

it's gonna be
really freaking hard.

- [bleep].
That was way over there.

I don't know what to do
about my shot,

but it's gotta change

or I don't have
much time left.

- I just need to last
a day longer

than the other contestants.

You don't have to outrun
the bear.

You just have to outrun
your friends.

My plan right now basically is
to fast for 20 more days.

Isn't that insane?

- Any other day

that spruce grouse
would be dinner,

and he's gonna get away with it
'cause we're going home.

I came out here to burn
my candle down to the wick,

and I got 52 days out of it.

I'm pretty proud of that.

♪ ♪

- I can't wait to have
this place try and break me.

narrator:
For the first time on "Alone,"

Ten participants fight
to survive

in the hunting ground

of the world's
largest land predator...

- Oh, my God, where'd he go?

Those are bear.

- I heard a big animal.

- Hey, bear.

- Oh, no. [bleep]

- Sometimes you eat
the bear...

- [exhales]

- Sometimes the bear eats you.

narrator: Battling
merciless conditions...

- This is some hard-core
bushwhacking.

- Why does it have to be
such a struggle every night?

- I hit it.
I hit it. I hit it.

- I feel more alive
every day I'm out here.

Ahh.
- Here comes the rain again.

- Labrador, you're not gonna
make it easy for us, are you?

narrator:
In complete isolation.

- The most dangerous thing
out here is myself.

- Look at that!

- The cold ground
is just pulling

all the warmth from me.

- How many days can this go on?
- Very, very hungry.

- Feel like I'm hitting
a wall.

narrator:
Last one standing wins.

- Only gonna get harder
the longer you stay out here.

♪ ♪

- Oh, no way.

Got another one.

[chittering]

[whack]

Rungu, I'm grateful
for you, bud.

Now that's what I call
a good frickin' morning.

This looks like a male,
a decent-sized one as well.

So I'm still in the game,
still in the game.

All right, let's gut
this little guy.

Here we go,
in between his shoulders.

Rungu did it again.

Brings back all
those good memories.

This Rungu is
the first one I've made.

The two that I've had
prior to this

was when I was
living with a Maasai

and they were gifted to me.

You got some tough skin, buddy.

When I first dropped in Kenya,

I spent every moment
with the Maasai.

I traded my clothes,
traded my shoes,

got rid of everything.

Got my machete,
had my goat-herding stick,

and I went full on in
and they taught me.

There you go.

I felt something magical
run through me

when practicing
those traditions.

♪ ♪

So one of the biggest reasons

why I want to do
what I want to do,

not only take care of people--

but being a bridge
between the medical world

and the traditional world is

to give back
to Indigenous communities.

When we looked at communities
of people who got the bad deal

out of every single country
that was colonized,

it's the native people there.

And they deserve
a louder voice.

They deserve better care.

All right,
you sweet little guy...

Want to make sure I'm getting
all the brains and stuff.

Don't want to waste that part.

♪ ♪

And much-deserved
painting of Rungu.

Here you go, buddy.

Warpaint.

♪ ♪

They've changed my life

on multiple
different levels.

It's only right to give back.

♪ ♪

All right, Rungu
all painted up with his k*ll.

Thank you.

♪ ♪

A[wind whistling]

♪ ♪

- I just have to do this.

♪ ♪

Angels on Blueberry Hill.
[sighs]

[grunts]

[chuckles]

It's wintertime.

Whoo-hoo!

[chuckles]

♪ ♪

I think we're gonna get
colder

and more snow
in the next few days,

so I definitely want
to button up the shelter.

Here we go.

Karie Lee's excavation service.

Oh, wow.

I want to build a cob oven

because there's
dry grass here, clay.

There's even a little sand.

Okay, I think that's good.

Let's make the form.

Got some rotten pieces of wood
for the clay to stick to.

So I'm gonna bundle up
a bunch of wood

and then pile the cob
up all around it

and light it on fire.

And the fire will dry it
in place.

I feel the cob oven
would be really important

because the clay is gonna be
able to hold heat.

And because it's enclosed
I could burn fur,

which is really sparky,
but it has a high BTU rate.

Ooh, yes, it's gonna be
a cold night tonight.

♪ ♪

So what we do,

we take the cob,
make little patties,

and we're just gonna
pat it on.

I want to stay a long time

because I want to see

how spiritually deep
I can connect with the Earth.

Ah, jeez.

But you spend
so much time out here

taking care
of your survival needs--

the shelter, the fire,
the food--

the time that you have
to actually just be

is very limited.

This is taking
longer than I thought.

I'm getting there.

♪ ♪

Here's my chimney.

♪ ♪

Instead of going
out a wall,

I'm just gonna have
the chimney come

straight up
out of the ground.

Hopefully it'll
draft correctly.

Not too close to the shelter,
standing upright.

Ready or not,
let's cob it up.

♪ ♪

I've actually done a brain
test of the four quadrants,

and I discovered
I'm a frontal-brain thinker.

My strongest point is
visionary creative,

but my other hat,

which is totally
the other side of the brain,

is I'm also very analytical.

♪ Mmm mmm mmm ♪

I'm gonna be so happy to
have a wall

so it can retain
some of the heat in here.

♪ ♪

And I'm discovering
with myself

that when my logical brain
takes over and I think,

"Okay, now this morning
I need to do this,

I need, I need, I need,"

things don't go as smoothly.

Yes, the clay is
perfectly packable.

♪ ♪

[blowing]

♪ ♪

Whew.

I did a good job
layering in that wood.

I can hear the clay sizzling.

Oh, we have breakthrough.

♪ ♪

See, we got a total
blow-out down there.

♪ ♪

The cob oven is falling apart.

My problem now is I'm gonna
have to get more clay,

but the clay is dry.

It's not gonna stick.

I'm gonna have to haul up
some water and get it wet.

And it's gonna take
more energy and more time

when I should be
out getting food.

♪ ♪

I should probably
just tear it down.

♪ ♪

A lot of work.
[sighs]

That was a [bleep]
waste of time.

♪ ♪

- I'm dressing inside
my sleeping bag.

I know it's exaggerated,
but why not stay warm,

preserve calories?

And also, dressing up
inside a sleeping bag

gets your blood flowing,
that's for sure.

It's my yoga. [chuckles]

Because I'm fasting,
I need to be

extremely strategic
about my energy

♪ ♪

and maximize the return
of my effort.

♪ ♪

Almost done, almost done.

♪ ♪

But it's all a big bet.

First drink water.

♪ ♪

So this is wet snow.

As soon as it touches
your body,

it turns into water.

Perfect hypothermia weather.

I'm not gonna spend
too much time outside.

I'm just gonna
grab some water.

Just seeing the snow
makes you feel colder.

It's like, oh, [bleep].
It's getting real.

It's gonna be
quite challenging.

♪ ♪

Survival is brutal,

but it doesn't have
to crush you down.

We can do unbelievable feats

when our mind and our body

and our soul are
working together,

and when we just have
that willingness

to give it all
for our families.

It's so powerful.

I'm gonna put
some sticks on my roof

because I don't want
a huge snowfall to come

and my tarp to sag too much.

But that's it,
not gonna do too much.

I like to work with the
weather, not against it.

I think you should do
like the animals

and just hunker down.

♪ ♪

When you're in survival mode,
it's so easy to understand

what is
truly important in life

and how simple life can be.

♪ ♪

And then it teaches you

the importance
of being present,

enjoying the moment,

even if it's
really challenging.

♪ ♪

Because if you cannot do
that,

mentally, you're not gonna be
able to survive.

♪ ♪

All right,
work is finished here.

[exhales]

It's way better.

But right now
the calm before the storm.

♪ ♪

- Just wanted to show you

how on the outside this shelter
looks pretty big,

but really it's just
the 1 to 2 feet of insulation.

So this is all I get.

Everything's pretty compact,
but very functional.

It's a lot colder
than yesterday.

Just looking at, like, places
that I can pack some more moss.

So let's see what's
in the outside--outside world.

♪ ♪

Plan for today,

I'm gonna grab
some spruce boughs

for the front of the shelter.

I want to bolster this side.

The wind comes this way.

There's a draft
that comes this way.

So let's make this better.

It's been dreadfully
hard to poop.

It's a bittersweet
experience being

the first physician out here.

I'm more aware
of what my body's doing.

Like, just constipation
out here can be

very, very difficult.

And just forcing
that crap out of you--

know what you can do
out here for a hemorrhoid,

that's helpful
because the pain of that

could take someone out.

♪ ♪

Got these big boys.

And the body consumes
on a priority basis.

There are preferences
for energy.

I've burnt through
the blood sugar,

burned through
the liver stores of sugar,

burnt through all the fat,

'cause I can just feel skin
on my stomach.

And organ fat,
that's probably very depleted

'cause I can suck in now.

Before I couldn't even
do that.

All righty, add a little more.

I think we're pretty golden.

But I'm very grateful
that I know what I know.

It's been helpful to not only
evaluate a true emergency,

but to take care of all the
small things that's happened.

I wouldn't have been able
to do that if I didn't have

the training, the knowledge,
and the skills

that I have gained
over the years.

There are some boughs there,
too, that I want to get.

♪ ♪

I'm gonna use you guys.

♪ ♪

Some nice long boughs.

♪ ♪

Okay.

Let's see if I can get
this guy.

♪ ♪

Whoa--
[bleep]

♪ ♪

Ohh.

[exhales]

Let's not do that again.

♪ ♪

Getting weaker and
balance is getting off.

The mind's not as sharp.

My body is kind of declining,
you know?

♪ ♪

[crow cawing]

[sniffs]

Too far for me.

♪ ♪

All right, I just need
to take a break.

A long break.

Oh, that feels better.

Who knew breaking some twigs
with my hands

and some boughs in that's--

that's a day for me, you know?

That's all I can do today.

That's what it feels like.

♪ ♪

[slurping]

Mmm.

I think it's tough
for anyone out here

that has
a limited food supply.

♪ ♪

I have a winter's worth
of reindeer moss,

a handful of cranberries,

and there's one piece
of grouse left.

But I've been saving that
for American Thanksgiving.

That's gonna give me
a huge, huge boost

for the mental game.

[gulping]

Crazy, you know?

♪ ♪

Body is constantly changing...

♪ ♪

Telling me what I can
and cannot do.

♪ ♪

I think one activity a day is

all I'm gonna be doing
from now on, you know?

♪ ♪

You don't need to push
every single day.

That's what I need to kind
of hammer in,

'cause I'm pushing hard,
you know?

♪ ♪

Too hard.

♪ ♪

- Oh, my gosh, a gorgeous day.

Frigid.

It snowed more last night.

I was just about to fall
asleep, and I heard this...

[scratching]

Actually it was a--[scratches]
like that.

♪ ♪

And then there was like--
that's not a bear, is it?

The sound sounded like
it was very, very large,

but I don't know.
[chuckles]

It's hard to say.

I don't see any footprints
in the snow,

but I wish I knew what it was.

Anyway, the cob oven's
not working,

so I'm going to set
that aside.

But I'm amazed
how much energy I have

just running off
of berries.

This piece of fruit
leather here is

at least a quart of berries.

I can carry this in my pocket
when I'm walking around

and just nibble on it all day.

So this is really super
nutritious and, like I said,

I can walk around
with it in my pocket.

♪ ♪

But just eating berries
is not enough

for you to win "Alone,"

so I'm gonna go
check my traps

and maybe see some
snowshoe hare tracks.

Please, please, please!

♪ ♪

I'm so excited to, like,
get this far in the journey.

It's hard work.

But this is where
my drive just keeps

pushing me to go forward.

In the past few seasons,

the person who won is

the person
who gets the big game.

And here the only big game
that we're allowed to hunt

is the bear.

I'm prepared
and ready to do that,

but I haven't even seen
a bear.

I'm just setting all these
traps and wandering around.

This is about as close as I
can get to hunting a bear.

So it snowed in the trees,

which is awesome for tracking.

Except when you want
to check your traps.

There's my ribbon for one,
but where the heck is my trap?

And this one's a trail,

and it's way in there,

and there's no squirrel.

Super challenging.

There's three traps right here.

No squirrels.

That gives you an idea
what I'm up against.

Like, oh, my gosh,
traps are getting buried.

All righty.

♪ ♪

Here's one, and no squirrel.

♪ ♪

Okay, let's go on.

♪ ♪

I'm keeping my eyes
out for polar bears.

I don't want to be surprised.

♪ ♪

This is mine.

This is site two.

But where's the trap?

[birds chirping]

Hey, chickadees, can you
tell me where my traps are?

♪ ♪

The snow in places
is over my knees

and it's a lot of work
to move through the snow.

Okay.

I think I just have
to move slower.

♪ ♪

I'm looking for my ribbons.

♪ ♪

They're probably buried
under the snow.

♪ ♪

Ah, there it is.
It's buried in the snow.

Okay.
Gotta fix this one.

♪ ♪

[sighs]

It's discouraging
and it's frustrating.

♪ ♪

But I don't know where it is.

Because one squirrel
is another day

that I'm able to be here.

Ah, damn.

I think that's it.

Okay, I'm gonna go back

'cause my hands are frozen.

♪ ♪

I'm feeling like
I'm not good enough

to come home with a meal,
and that's embarrassing.

♪ ♪

I think I'm kind of over
the squirrel trapping.

It's a lot of energy

and it's not really
producing much.

And the snow's--the snow
is covering most of them.

♪ ♪

I guess it's a challenge
to see

how long we can live
on berries.

I mean, I got
a lot of berries.

We'll see
what tomorrow brings.

I'm a little discouraged,
yes, for sure.

Still hopeful.

♪ ♪

The snow is beautiful.

The moon's out--
at least it was.

So I think it's gonna get
really, really cold.

So that's why I'm racing
to find food.

I can't quit trying.

So I'll see you in the morning.

Okay, have a good night.

♪ ♪

- This is the view from my
window inside my shelter.

As you can see,
it's pretty stormy outside.

Wet, cold, and windy.

[chuckles]

It's a trifecta.

[chuckles]

There's this saying,

"There's no such thing
as bad weather."

Well, today is
the exception of that saying.

Today is bad weather.

No matter what
clothes you wear,

this is not
a good day to be out.

♪ ♪

Right.
I'm gonna do it.

♪ ♪

I'm gonna go out
and get water.

Really crazy weather.

[chuckles]

Man, I keep thinking that
there's not many people left.

I don't know.

The landscape has
considerably changed.

All this snow has
made travel difficult.

♪ ♪

This is a harsh place
for survival.

Harsh place.

♪ ♪

[wind howling]

- I have to do the inevitable.

I have to go pee.

And I might as well get water
while am at it.

[wind blowing]

Ooh.
Oh, my.

♪ ♪

You know,
I have to say

that wind is not
my favorite element.

Wet, slippery snow.

Wow, look at those trees.

♪ ♪

Yeah, snowing sideways.

It's getting harder
to get around.

It's getting
a bit overwhelming.

♪ ♪

- In the military,

this is the weather
that I'm trained in.

Cold weather warfare is

the bread and butter
of the Canadian force.

Gotta learn
how to thrive in it,

gotta learn how to defend it.

Ooh. Check it out.

I got a little walking stick

that'll be good firewood
for our journey up the hill.

Call me crazy, but I swear
I'm hearing grouse flapping.

♪ ♪

I've been
in complete whiteouts

in the subarctic before

where you can't really see
in front of your face.

♪ ♪

It can be pretty scary.

♪ ♪

Three steps uphill
and I need a break.

[chuckles]
[sighs]

♪ ♪

- Survival.

♪ ♪

The party goes on.

It's crazy how long
this has been going on.

And it just hasn't stopped.

All the trees--
everything is moving

so strongly with the wind.

Pretty dangerous.

You better practice your
resilience or just tap out.

There's no [bleep] up here.

Pretty much staying in my--
my shelter the whole day.

You know what
would really suck?

If your shelter collapsed.

♪ ♪

That would [bleep] suck.

♪ ♪

[branches rattling]

- That's a strong wind.

♪ ♪

Everything's more complex
when it's this cold.

Just looking at the roof,

the structural boughs
I added--

It's strong.
It's doing its job.

[sniffs]

On the beach, the wind
down there is whipping.

Whoever is beach side or,
like, close to the water, man,

I do not envy you.

I'm really happy to be
deep in the forest.

♪ ♪

- I decided I'm gonna
spend the day

just getting firewood.

'Cause, really, that's
all I need to hunker down.

♪ ♪

Yeah, we like wood
that breaks easy.

Oh, my gosh, it's deep.

♪ ♪

You just don't know
what's underneath your feet.

♪ ♪

[grunts] Okay.

♪ ♪

Yay.
It's free.

♪ ♪

Man, this is a workout.

♪ ♪

It is definitely
getting chillier.

The wind has picked up.

I gotta get this wood inside

or it's gonna be
buried by tomorrow.

Defeat the whole purpose
of getting it today.

♪ ♪

[grunts]

[bleep]

♪ ♪

I think I'm gonna call it
a day.

I think I'm gonna make
a fire...

[sighs]
[sniffs]

And just rest.

Whoa.

♪ ♪

You all right?

♪ ♪

Told you, winds are coming.

♪ ♪

- Well, good morning, everyone.

Still snowing pretty hard.

Feeling it. [sighs]

I'm really cold
and really hungry.

♪ ♪

I'm boiling moss today.

Right now I'm relying on moss
to get me through for food.

And I think that's only
gonna go so far.

Coming out.

But since you have to boil it
several times,

I think I might as well use
that trash water,

the oxalic acid water,
to freeze up the outside.

Oh, yeah, soak it in.

Soak it in, fellas.

Make this a moss ice castle.

♪ ♪

In the military,

to increase insulation
and protection

we made our shelters
out of big logs,

filled it with gravel,
debris, all sorts of stuff,

but then at the end,

when we packed
all the snow in,

we would throw
water on top of it

to freeze everything together.

♪ ♪

Yeah, get on there.

In Arctic warfare,
we make things

that stop heavy weight,
like, a*tillery rounds,

basically bazookas.

So I'm gonna do
the same thing here.

'Cause it's no joke
running into a black bear,

especially over here.

They're at least
two times my weight,

more aggressive and hungry,
just like I am.

♪ ♪

It's really hard.

Just down to the creek, 15,

is difficult.

So kind of tells you
where I'm at.

[sighs]

Keep going.

This is an incredibly
personal journey for me.

Like, the past seven years

I haven't stopped pushing
for one goal,

to become a doctor,

and that requires
a lot of sacrifice.

You study, you do research,

try to impress
people on clinical rounds.

So you show early,
you stay late.

You feel
like nothing else matters.

You sacrifice your own
health, mental and physical,

spiritual sometimes.

Let's go.

You sacrifice relationships
that should mean more to you,

but you don't even see it

because of how hard
and how long you've worked

and how that turns
into a habit.

All righty, one to two more.

♪ ♪

So after seven years,
I come home,

I don't even know
my family members.

♪ ♪

Forget about the friends
that I used to have.

I don't know where I fit in.

That's not right.

Almost there.

Being out here, I realize
I can't be that selfish.

It has to be
about people I care about.

♪ ♪

Got a nice full pot
of moss right here.

So after this, I'm hoping
to right some wrongs

and be a better me.

♪ ♪

- Oy.

Ha.

I just fell through
the ice a little bit.

No worries.

♪ ♪

We just passed
this crazy storm.

I don't think I've
ever experienced

so much continuous wind ever.

♪ ♪

There was so much wind that
some snow got into my shelter.

Right now I need to hydrate--
never-ending yeoman task.

I make an effort to drink
sketchy water

during my everyday life.

♪ ♪

Man, I'm thirsty.

And I've been drinking
water straight

for 10 years
in the wilderness.

So I feel quite confident

that even if
my immune system is down,

I can still keep
some immunity.

Think I didn't bring enough
water last night on my pot

for the night and the morning.

♪ ♪

Because I'm not boiling water,

I don't need
to make fires daily.

That's part of my strategy.

I'm trying to be as
efficient as possible.

It's funny because everyone
is like, "You need a fire."

but I did

and I realized you cannot
sustain a fire all the time.

So you're gonna be
cold at night anyways.

The Inuit have barely any fire

because they only use oil
in some small lamps.

♪ ♪

So I decided
not to have any fires

unless I need
to cook anything.

♪ ♪

I'm gonna go
before my stomach explodes

from drinking so much water.

[burps]

♪ ♪

I think today I'm gonna
patch up my door, man.

It's so open.

And then after that, the walls.

Right now,
I don't mind it too much

because my shelter is cold.

♪ ♪

But once I really
start using my stove,

I want to trap the heat.

♪ ♪

Pretty good.

♪ ♪

Now I'm gonna patch
the holes in the walls.

I know about this 80/20 rule.

You can get 80% of the benefit
from 20% of the input.

Okay, I'm gonna put
a little bit more.

I try to follow that rule,

but because I'm fasting,

my body is getting slower,
so everything is just harder.

[exhales]

I'm getting tired.

So I'm gonna
drink some water.

♪ ♪

It's not easy.

Today I did a considerable
amount of work

for a person that's starving
and not eating at all.

Every calorie counts.

I need to be very, very
strategic and efficient.

You should be
resting and sleeping.

♪ ♪

It's not good.
It's not good.

♪ ♪

- Looks like
a beautiful wintry day.

And this is how I get rid
of all the ice on my pot.

Just bang it.

Just bang it.

Just bang it.

♪ ♪

Today, four fingers,
but this ice is weak.

It's not clear blue ice.

Not as strong as,
like, pure clear ice.

[grunting]

Four fingers.

Let's see how much that is
in my multi-tool.

A little under 3 inches.

Maybe in a couple days
it's gonna be 4 inches.

And once it's 4 inches,

I'm gonna start
walking on it for sure.

I could walk on it already,
I think, but...

we're not gonna risk it.

And I need an ice chisel, so--

Every season has
its advantages.

And when you have ice,
walking is so easy.

I could go to different spots
in my side

and burn less calories.

I'm trying to choose a good
pole for my ice chisel.

It has to have good weight,

but at the same time
it shouldn't weigh too much.

♪ ♪

The ice chisel really lets

you test the ice as you walk,

every step
or every several hundred feet.

If you cannot break the ice
easily with an ice chisel,

then it's safe.

This one seems all right.

♪ ♪

Having a strong
hunger pang right now.

♪ ♪

I'm fasting,
but my strategy is

I'm just gonna hunt, trap
and fish if I can

because it will be easy
to preserve.

You just freeze it.

So I'm gonna save
all that protein

for when I'm gonna eat.

[exhales]

So I'm so excited to make
my ice chisel.

♪ ♪

That's good.

When I was six months in
the forest with my partner,

it was a struggle just to get
into the wilderness.

It would be nice
if I could finish it today.

♪ ♪

And because I feel very
responsible for other people,

I was taking a lot
of the workload on myself.

So by the time we were at our
spot, I was already spent.

It's hard to work with
partially frozen clothes.

We had rations,

but very, very quickly

I got to, like, POW skinny.

One day I fainted twice and
that really scared my partner.

♪ ♪

So I learned that nature
can rip your head off.

And now if I could
sum up my strategy,

it would be to not bring
a knife to a gunfight.

♪ ♪

And these opportunities
are so scarce.

So I'm gonna honor that

by giving it all I have
to stay in the fight.

♪ ♪

Moving on.

♪ ♪

So here's the
genius of this axe.

The chisel's gonna go
through here.

I want this to look like this.

♪ ♪

So I made a hole.

♪ ♪

We are getting there.
Very close.

♪ ♪

So now my axe goes
all the way through.

♪ ♪

This is a nail that I found,
and I use it for leverage.

Okay.

♪ ♪

And that's that.

♪ ♪

It's done.

It's looking good.

Yeah, I like it.

♪ ♪

- The bottoms of my pants

are frozen shut.

I can't get my feet in them.

[chuckles]

Okay.

♪ ♪

I only have so much
really dry firewood,

so it's hard to start a fire.

What I need is some pitch.

♪ ♪

Slow and steady.

I have a history
of adrenal exhaustion.

That happens a lot
for people who go, go, go, go.

And it's like a bank.

You use up energy,
you have to restore it.

♪ ♪

So this tree here has
a bunch of pitch on it.

♪ ♪

And when you exhaust that,
your life is hell.

♪ ♪

That was just dust.

I'm very aware
of when I'm pushing that edge

because I've pushed it
a number of times

and backed off.

And so now I'm taking
things slow and steady,

kind of like the
tortoise and the hare.

And we're gonna
get to the very end.

[squeaking]

Oh, hey.

♪ ♪

Stay there for a moment.

♪ ♪

Oh, I see him.
He's--he's under a big log.

♪ ♪

[dramatic sting]

[bow snaps]
Oh.

♪ ♪

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, my God.
[chuckles]

Oh, my God.

I got a squirrel.

This is the first squirrel
I've actually shot.

He's gonna look cuter
roasting on my fire.

I got a squirrel!
[chuckles]

Holy [bleep].

♪ ♪

It's been a good day.

I love squirrel.

Mmm.

♪ ♪

I'm in heaven.

♪ ♪

This is part of my dream,

to be thriving

in a primitive shelter
that you built...

♪ ♪

Eating food
that you k*lled.

[chuckles]

♪ ♪

Next to a warm
fire that you made,

collected the wood,
everything off the land.

♪ ♪

Yeah.

Now, if I could just get
a squirrel every day.

♪ ♪

[chuckles]

♪ ♪

Yeah, then I'd
really be thriving.

♪ ♪

Proud of myself because
of what I've accomplished

and what I've learned and, you
know, what I set out to do.

♪ ♪

Survival is not just
about the skills.

It's about the attitude,
the positive mindset,

being in a place of gratitude.

And while I'm out there,

I use those things
primarily for my survival.

♪ ♪

I'm thinking, "Two more weeks,
two more weeks."

And then, "Keep going.
Two more weeks."

but I'm gonna need
more food.

Yeah.

[blowing]

♪ ♪

- I'm gonna clip
my toenails right now.

[clipping]

So important to take
care of your feet.

So important.

Look at that.

They look like I need
to go for some pedicure.

But I bet if I went
for some pedicure,

the person would be like,
"Um, we're gonna have

to charge you triple."

[chuckles]

♪ ♪

I'm gonna put more snow
up in the sides

because the snow
really, really insulates well.

♪ ♪

You can see
that it's quite well-covered.

There's some ice, too.

Because of the wet snow,
it started to freeze.

But inside it's, like, almost
entirely covered in snow.

And look at the sides,

the bottom is
pretty well-insulated.

Nature will do the rest.

Basically no wind will come
through there.

Yeah, it's basically, like,

♪ ♪

[wind blowing]

♪ ♪

The shelter is staying
a little bit warmer,

I think, than the outside,

even though I don't have

absolutely any source of heat,

except my body heat,
I guess.

I feel confident enough
with no fire right now.

♪ ♪

I apply some lateral
thinking to survival

and I try to combine
all these strategies

from different
Indigenous peoples.

♪ ♪

I dry all the things
I need to dry

inside my sleeping bag
with my own body heat.

♪ ♪

I've found ways
to be without fires

for long periods of time.

♪ ♪

And I just follow
my intuition.

♪ ♪

Feel content
with the work that I did.

Feels like I'm really
improving my shelter.

♪ ♪

It's almost as if I am the
subject of my own experiment.

I'm not afraid...
[sighs]

But everything is
a struggle here.

It's tough.

I'm just curious about
how far can humans go?

Um, who knows?

♪ ♪

- I did a thing, guys.

See that?

Right there.

Kind of, like, in the middle.

It's like an upside down U now.

I didn't fall down
and knock it out.

I was just chewing
on a bone the wrong way.

I think one
of the weird thing is

is if it falls out because you
hit it or something--

Like, let's say if
you're a hockey player

or if you just fall down and
it hits just the right way

that it pops out,

you can actually
put it back in.

So it's kind of like
a dislocated bone, in a sense.

You don't want
to put it in water.

What water does is
it kind of destroys

all the cells in the tooth.

So I'm lucky it was just
a little superficial ding.

A little souvenir.

♪ ♪

All right, we are out, ready.
Flag is up.

♪ ♪

And let's check some snares.

♪ ♪

I'm just gonna take it
one step at a time,

go really slow.

♪ ♪

Don't see any tracks?

♪ ♪

Nothing really there.

♪ ♪

Okay.

♪ ♪

I still have a grouse.

Challenge for me is if
these new limits on my body

will affect my
ability to get food.

Taking, like,
baby steps right now.

♪ ♪

All I can handle.

♪ ♪

All right. [sighs]

♪ ♪

A little short
of breath right now.

♪ ♪

Just gotta wait
till it passes a little bit.

♪ ♪

Oh.

I'm pushing past my limit
each and every day.

♪ ♪

And, clinically,
I know that I'm declining.

Structural integrity
will go eventually.

It's just
a simple calculation.

So I really gotta get
more food.

Any squirrelies?
Nope.

Phew.

[kissing]

Nothing.

Whoop.

♪ ♪

That was close.
[sighs]

♪ ♪

All right, I think that's it.

I can't afford
an injury right now.

♪ ♪

Let's go back to the bear hang

and get the last of the food.

The last of the grouse.

♪ ♪

All right, almost there.

♪ ♪

Let's go home.

♪ ♪

It's not
American Thanksgiving,

but I'm gonna have to eat
the last piece of grouse.

Hopefully this gives
us enough energy

and morale to keep pushing on.

And super important,
the last wishbone.

Mmm.

These guys are
so precious to me.

Every time I make a wish,
I get animal protein.

So these guys,
I swear, are magical.

But today I don't
want to ask for food.

I don't want to ask
for animal protein.

Um...

I want to ask for
something much, much more.

I wish that sharing this
experience with my mom

brings us closer together.

I love her so much.

Even though she probably
thinks I love her,

I know that she
doesn't necessarily

feel it all the time

because of how absent
I've been.

♪ ♪

I've had excuses--
medical school, work,

but it's all BS.

Could at least call her
every day, you know?

Look at that.

With the grouse in there
and some reindeer moss,

look at how much food that is.

♪ ♪

As a doctor, I saw
that her health

was headed
in a wrong direction

and I wanted to fix that.

So I got frustrated,
angry at times,

and I just stopped caring.

Because if that's the way
she wanted to live,

that's the way
she wanted to live.

♪ ♪

But what she is going
through is something

that I went through
when I was living in my car.

That's being truly alone.

And that's--that's on me.

♪ ♪

I still have a few
handfuls of this.

Might last me till tomorrow.

♪ ♪

Mmm.

When my mom sees this,
I hope she can forgive me.

♪ ♪

The journey will
be complicated,

but she's never gonna
be alone,

not from now on.

♪ ♪

I have been so grateful

for how this experience
has changed me.

I want to take that
and light the world on fire

with the same juice.

That half million dollars
won't fix everything,

but it will get me close.

♪ ♪

My stomach is full.

My heart is full
with good wishes

to everyone, especially my mom.

♪ ♪

So, wishbone, you're
going into my pocket.

I'm gonna keep you safe.

♪ ♪

I love you, Mom.

♪ ♪

And I'm gonna be
right next to you

every step of the way,

no matter which direction
you go.

I'll be there.

♪ ♪

How much is enough?

I think everyone's
asking that question.

- Am I just gonna hunker down
and conserve my energy

or push myself and
go out and get food?

[bleep]

Don't cry, don't cry.

- This is my life now.

I get water and
then I do nothing.

- Every day I'm pushing,
and I feel

like I've been walking a line.

Let's go!

But right here--

right here...

I can push with that.

- I'm not down for the count.

My body will tell
me when I'm done.

- Definitely reached the part
of my journey

when I'm just,
like, a little bit cuckoo.

[helicopter whirring]

♪ ♪

- Oh, my God, my heart's
just beating so fast.

♪ ♪