09x11 - Fight, Flight or Freeze

[bunniefuu]

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- Really crazy weather.

Because I'm fasting,
my body is getting slower.

It's almost as if I am the
subject of my own experiments.

I'm not afraid,
but everything is a struggle.

All right.

I'm pushing past
my limit each and every day.

And clinically,
I know that I'm declining.

I'm gonna have to eat
the last piece of grouse,

and super important,
the last wishbone.

I wish that sharing
this experience with my mom

brings us closer together.

That half a million dollars
won't fix everything,

but it'll get me close.

- There's three traps
right here. No squirrels.

I'm so excited to, like,
get this far in the journey.

It's hard work, but it's where
my drive just keeps

pushing me to go forward.

Oh, I see him.

It's under a big log.

♪ ♪

Oh.

I got a squirrel!
[laughs]

Holy [bleep].
Oh, my God.

♪ ♪

- I can't wait to have
this place try and break me.

narrator:
For the first time on "Alone,"

ten participants
fight to survive

in the hunting ground
of the world's largest

land predator...

- Oh, my God, where'd he go?

Those are bear.

- I heard a big animal.

- Hey, bear.
- Oh, no.

[bleep]

- Sometimes you eat the bear.
- [exhales]

- Sometimes the bear eats you.

narrator: Battling
merciless conditions...

- This is some
hardcore bushwhacking.

- Why does it have to be
such a struggle every night?

- I hit it.
I hit it. I hit it.

Feel more alive every
day I'm out here.

- [sighs]
- Here comes the rain again.

- Labrador, not gonna make it
easy for us, are you?

narrator:
In complete isolation.

- The most dangerous thing
out here is myself.

- Look at that!

- The cold ground
is just pulling

all the warmth from me.

- How many days can this go on?

- Very, very hungry.

- I feel like
I'm hitting a wall.

narrator:
Last one standing wins.

- Only gonna get harder
the longer you stay out here.

♪ ♪

- Oh, it's beautiful.

In a winter wonderland.

It's quiet, no birds,
no squirrels, nothing.

Must be the snow.
I don't know.

But I'm feeling
really, really tired.

Think I'm just gonna go up
the hill to get some firewood,

and, uh, yeah--

♪ ♪

Every day, I'm pushing,
and I feel like

I've been walking a line.

Last night, I had almost
a pot full of food,

and I'm still getting weak.

Come on, trees,
give me something to work with.

I'm running out
of trees that I can

realistically walk to,
snap their branches,

and come back home.

I can feel my energy kind of
going down a little bit.

♪ ♪

Doing everything I can to
address everything that I can.

♪ ♪

Found two good trees.

♪ ♪

Think I can only do
one bundle, guys.

♪ ♪

Feel like I'm reaching
a limit over here.

All right, let's go back.

♪ ♪

Okay, I'm home.

♪ ♪

Yeah.

♪ ♪

[sighs]
I'm freaking exhausted.

It's too much.

I did too much today.

♪ ♪

I'm ready to take
a really long break.

♪ ♪

Here we go.

is basically my max.

♪ ♪

So every day,
I get a little weaker.

♪ ♪

But right here, right here...

I can push with that.

♪ ♪

- Ow.
What the heck?

♪ ♪

[grunts]

Hey!

♪ ♪

What are you doing?

♪ ♪

[grunts]

Yeah, take that.

♪ ♪

Ah!
Boom!

Ahh!

♪ ♪

[laughs]

I'm still just a kid.

I'm just a kid
in an older body, that's all,

but I can't be wasting
calories just having fun.

But why not?

I mean, all of this is fun,
but now, we have snow,

and my food procurement
is going down,

and if that's going down
and not increasing,

my time out here
is getting shorter.

♪ ♪

So I decided
I'm going to go see

if I can roust up a squirrel.

So I'm just gonna walk
the edge of the east woods

where I have my traps,
and maybe I can uncover a trap,

and who knows?

I might have a frozen squirrel
under the snow or something.

♪ ♪

Winter is a good time
for dreaming things in.

There's so many possibilities

that I'm really
looking forward to.

I want to open
a wilderness school.

That's been my plan for
years and years and years.

So this spring,

I jumped way out
on a limb financially.

I got the financing, and I
bought a piece of property.

It's a beautiful piece
of land, 13 acres,

and I will be taking down
my yurt that I live in now

and moving everything
to the land,

and my plan is my yurt

will become
an indoor classroom,

and then I have
the opportunity

to build my dream home,

and I can do whatever I want.

This will be
the first time that I've

had my own home since I left

when I was 18
to go to college.

So 40 years, that's huge.

♪ ♪

I've been really resisting
this elderhood,

but now I feel like I'm ready
to build my first real home.

♪ ♪

Now I gotta pay for it.
[laughs]

Half a million dollars would
enable me to pay off my land

and step into
a new beginning...

♪ ♪

So I can't give up.

I can't quit trying.

♪ ♪

Oh, oh, this is so awesome.

Oh, my gosh.

[chuckles]

♪ ♪

Check it out.

Bunny tracks!

They go off into the abyss.

♪ ♪

Need to figure out
where he's going.

Game on.

♪ ♪

So many places
where a hare could hide out.

♪ ♪

It's starting to snow again.

♪ ♪

Oh, there's a squirrel.

[tense music]

♪ ♪

Where'd it go?

♪ ♪

Let me get him up there.

♪ ♪

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

[bleep], so close.

That definitely was
a hard shot.

Surprised I took it.

The longer I stay out here,

the weaker my muscles
are getting,

and it's getting colder.

I have to wear
more layers of clothes,

and it's really affecting
how I pull my bow.

I know that I can only take
shots at a close proximity.

When you take a shot,
you want it to be fatal.

You don't want
to wound an animal.

♪ ♪

Ooh.

Wow, it's really hard.

Oh, my gosh.

♪ ♪

I just don't feel
as old as I am.

Most of my friends are younger
than me and very active,

and I'm very active,

so I've been really
resisting this elderhood.

Man, that arrow
just disappeared.

Ugh, where'd it go?

Maybe it's over here.

I don't know.

OK, Karie,
don't do that anymore.

That squirrel is so onto me.

Surprised he showed himself.

My tummy hurts.

I was hoping
to get something today.

[sighs]

[tense music]

♪ ♪

- Really so hard.

It's, like,
snow and cold and ice.

And now having rain.

I feel hungry
and stuck in one spot.

And now, all these cycles...

are destroying my tarp.
[chuckles]

This is what happens.

There's ice
at the top of the trees,

and then, there's wind,

then all the ice
starts coming down,

and they fall on my tarp,

and they make holes.

Let me show you.

So that's one hole
that happened last night,

that big, big hole.

That's something
I need to work on.

[chuckles]

♪ ♪

Well, I can get one and a half
fingers in there.

Heat will escape from there,
so I'm going to sew a patch.

♪ ♪

When I was coming out,
I told my partner,

"I just need not to screw up.

As long as I do not mess up,
I got this."

♪ ♪

Helping her is such
a powerful motivation for me.

I like to model resilience
for her.

I'm separating some cord

to use as thread.

My strategy is to hunker down
more into my shelter

because I'm going to do
what real people do

in survival situations,

and it's either they walk out,
or they hunker down.

My body is gonna have
to understand

that I'm going to go
to this place,

but it's all a big bet.

♪ ♪

So for the patch,

I'm going to use
this piece of tarp

that I cut for the windows
and for the stove pipe.

[laughs]

It's a rough, rough patch,
as you can see.

[laughs]

It looks like
a five-year-old did it.

But it's not easy when you're--

like, you've been starving for
so long, and you're surviving,

and you're sewing
from one side,

and you cannot sew
from the other.

You're not using
a proper needle.

So that's that stuff.

But it's what I signed up for.

[tense music]

♪ ♪

- All right,
let's get some water.

I think this is the weakest
I've felt right now.

That's not good.

♪ ♪

Let's see how frozen we are.

♪ ♪

[pounding]

♪ ♪

Yeah, I can still get through.

Easy does it.

♪ ♪

Oh.

That was close.

♪ ♪

That's as fast as I can go.

♪ ♪

There we go.

Just walking
to get water is a lot for me.

[sighs] But, dang, that was
a good sleep last night.

My last thoughts were seeing
my mom's face at the airport.

Holding her
for the first time

and just giving her those
big old kisses on the cheeks.

That gave me
just a bunch of clarity,

and I just slept
through the night.

You know, how much--

how much is enough?

I think everyone's
asking that question.

For me, I want my mom
to be inspired by this.

I want it
to hit her right here

and have her
just smile and cry.

♪ ♪

I felt joy here
in the beauty of this land,

in the freedom
and the endless learning.

Life is just better
being surrounded

by people who love you,

and, Mom,
you deserve that, too.

♪ ♪

'Cause you're a beautiful,
amazing, wonderful woman,

and you deserve to be happy,

and I know you've felt
all alone, but you're not.

That I promise you.

♪ ♪

So...

Operation Save Mom
is a go as of today.

I'm excited to be
a better son to you.

Yeah.

[chuckles]

Do you know what?

♪ ♪

I think I have one more trick
up my sleeve.

♪ ♪

I think I have
one more good idea.

♪ ♪

I'm gonna show you.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- I got one last surprise
for you guys...

one last trick up my sleeve,

one last good idea.

For the Canadian
Grenadier Guards,

this one's for you guys.

At the age of 17, I had
no idea what I wanted to do.

Tarp, I need you.

You have been a lifesaver.

So I was walking
on St. Catherine in Montreal,

and I remember just having
an urge to just look up,

and I see this statue,

big, old lion,
unicorn with a shield

plated right in the middle.

Just zigzagging paracord.

I just thought to myself,

"I really wanna help people."

Get up there.

Turns out, that statue was
the Canadian coat of arms.

Flag--
You gotta put the flag on this.

It was a calling.

That was the start
of the journey.

And then I joined the army
and just been walking a path

towards finding out
who I need to help and how.

Now, you are complete, sled,
to get me out of here.

♪ ♪

I'm declining
at a rapid rate

each and every day.

Let's see.

♪ ♪

Half a million dollars,
that's pretty juicy,

but my options
are to leave strong

or to leave broken,

so I'm gonna walk out of here.

Ain't nobody
carrying my kit for me,

and I don't want my mom
to see me suffer.

Ah.

One last push, baby.

Leaving standing tall,
I think that's

what my mom needs to see.

[grunts]

Let's go!

♪ ♪

Ugh!

♪ ♪

Yeah!

I have a long life
ahead of me,

and now, I have such clarity
in who I am...

Yeah.

What I'm meant to do
in this Earth...

It's working.

And who I want by my side.

♪ ♪

[phone beeping]

This is Teimojin.

I am officially tapping out.

♪ ♪

All right, let's go home.

♪ ♪

I've won.

This is a victory for me.

♪ ♪

My body has reached a limit,

and I'm here to take care
of my mom,

to inspire her.

I think this is how
I want my story to end,

and I think she'll be proud
of how much I pushed.

This is going to show her
the strength that she needs.

Not me being carried out.

[somber music]

♪ ♪

When I first got the call

that I would be
on this show...

♪ ♪

I wanted to have fun.

I wanted it to be about
testing myself, my skills,

and it was only
when I got here,

reflected on my life,
who I am, who I want to be

where I realized

that it can't be about me.

I've been selfish
for so long and so focused

on this one goal,
to become a doctor,

that I let
everyone around me down.

So when I get home,
one of the first things

is to say sorry
for being absent.

♪ ♪

Now, I feel 100% me,

but renewed, reborn,

and after this,
I can see myself just being

filled with joy and love,

and that's just
worth so much more

than a half a million dollars.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

- Today is toque time

and maybe have warm tea.

That would be nice.

So I'm just gonna
grab some water.

♪ ♪

And you can see,
the river is all slush.

♪ ♪

Not good for ice fishing.
Not good for walking.

Whoa.

♪ ♪

It's quite icy,
like, super icy,

and my boots
are not super grippy.

♪ ♪

Here.

[chuckles]

Ready for the fire
in my stove.

I can see this cold
really wearing down people,

but I've been waiting
for this moment

for, like, 70 days.

This huge mental strategy

that I'm using that I believe
it's very important

is I'm trying to punctuate
my adventure

and have different,
like, milestones.

I do this milestone,
and I get this reward,

and it helps me have something
I look forward to

and also, it just changes
the monotony.

This is the way
to cut firewood.

Mallet.

My ax.

In terms of safety,
I am textbook perfect almost.

♪ ♪

First fire.

[chuckles]

This is sweet, sweet.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

I would not be here
for just, like, oh, yeah,

I'm gonna be in a TV show.

I'm here because I feel
I can win this.

I've invested so much energy,

so much passion, so much soul.

I've invested my health.

I want some money
to really start

going after my dream of having

a homestead and a community

and to start a family
and to marry.

♪ ♪

That's why I'm here.

Holy [bleep].

♪ ♪

I used paint cans.

I should have known better.

There's some weird smell
from, like,

whatever was in these cans.

♪ ♪

It's likely that it's toxic.

Such a dummy mistake.

I'm going to open the door
for a little bit.

♪ ♪

It's a smell that you know
is just not good for you.

It makes my head hurt.

So bad, oh.

I am a little bit pissed.

It's something that I was
really looking forward to.

Like, what the [bleep]?

Really makes this
struggle harder.

[bleep] I feel sick.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- The problem with my stove
is that I used paint cans,

and they had lots
of paint still,

and it just doesn't burn off.

So I'm gonna redo

almost entirely the stove

with some cans that I saved
just in case I needed them.

I have to work with mud.

I can actually use mud
from the sides of the stove.

It's moist.
It's not completely frozen.

The risk is I [bleep] up,
and then I don't have a stove,

but the reward
is worth the risk.

♪ ♪

Let's do it.
There's no going back.

Here we go.

It's a big job
because there's lots

of thinking, lots of things
that need to go right.

There's many moving parts.

♪ ♪

It's gonna be a challenge.

♪ ♪

I removed this front piece.

I don't know if you
can see all this,

like, paint,
but it smells very bad.

♪ ♪

But this is a new can
I can use.

♪ ♪

Have to warm it up in my hand.

♪ ♪

That's it.

The previous week,
I was really, really

missing family and friends
and my partner Jennifer.

♪ ♪

She's, like, my best friend.

My life gravitates around her,

so it's hard
to be without her.

♪ ♪

I have exciting plans

for when I get back
with my partner.

♪ ♪

It's working.

My frankenstove is alive.

It's alive!
[chuckles]

♪ ♪

I'm really satisfied
with my decision.

It was a risk, but
the universe came together.

♪ ♪

This is a natural smoke.

It doesn't feel like any kind
of plastic or garbage

or anything like that.

A new stove
that doesn't smell.

Sweet.

♪ ♪

- Mmm.

Nice, warm water.

Here,
I have some fruit leather.

I can't eat too much
of it at one time...

'cause that gives me
a tummy ache.

And so I'm grabbing my bow,

and I'm gonna go get some
alternative sources of food

so I don't have to eat this.

[laughs]

Hello!

[laughs]

♪ ♪

Oh, my gosh.

Snowshoe hare tracks.
Oh, my gosh.

There's a bit of movement.

♪ ♪

The problem is, I don't even
know if I can pull my bow.

♪ ♪

Ah. [chuckles]

♪ ♪

All right.

♪ ♪

Don't cry.
Don't cry.

Stay positive.

♪ ♪

I'm just having a hard time.

But I was starting
to remember the layers

of why I came out here.

I'm dedicating
my experience and my time

for those people
who want to be here

and for whatever reason can't.

♪ ♪

I'm here for my dear friend,
Collette, who has cancer,

and she wants to live out
her days in nature,

and she can't.

She asked me if I would
dedicate my journey to her,

and I was like, "Sure."

And so I asked her,
"Well, what happens

if you leave
before I get back?"

And her answer was like,
"My goal is to live

long enough
to watch you on TV."

That's huge for somebody

to say that to you.

So she's inspiring me
at the same time

to keep going,
to keep living out here.

♪ ♪

You know, if she can
stomach the radiation

and the chemotherapy
and all the crap

that she has to go through
to live,

I can stomach this
fruit leather, you know?

♪ ♪

So here's to you, Collette.

♪ ♪

Thank you for inspiring me
and keeping me going,

and I hope
I'm keeping you going.

♪ ♪

[sighs]
I'm feeling it.

Feeling it right now.

♪ ♪

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

I really hope so.

I hope it's a polar bear, man.

I hope so. I see some stuff
in the distance.

[bleep], I hope so, man.

Ah. See?

I've never seen
a polar bear up close,

but it's not up close.

It's so far away.

That's not it.

Where are you?

Are you serious?

You know what,
it's the second time

this happens to me.

It happened to me
on another trip.

I think I see polar bears.

Nope.

I wish
it had been a polar bear.

Would have been
the fricking highlight

of my challenge, for sure.

♪ ♪

- [chuckles]

I'm gonna go get some alder

so that I can make
some snow skis,

and the only alder
that I see that's not, like,

totally collapsed over
is this little group

right back there.

I really wanna go tracking
in this fresh new snow,

find some snowshoe hares,
find some food,

so I'm gonna make
some snow skis

so I can stay on top
of the snow.

♪ ♪

Here's a third of the load.

It's not so heavy.

It's just hard
getting up there.

♪ ♪

So I've been just questioning
of where I'm at.

Like, am I done?

How far do I want
to push my body?

I don't feel like I'm done,

but I feel like I'm close,

like it's the beginning
of the end.

♪ ♪

So I've got
a decision to make.

Am I just gonna hunker down
and conserve my energy

and live out my days
until I'm done?

Or I can push myself

and go out and get food.

OK, oh, my gosh.

I think that's it.
Whew.

My fingertips are cold.

So I think I am going to--
whew--

start a fire,

and I'll sit in my doorway

and peel the bark off,
keep my hands warm.

I'm gonna make some skis
and venture out

and just do what I can do.

My body will tell me
when I'm done.

♪ ♪

- Nothing like straight
ice cold water

to start your day.

♪ ♪

Seriously, like, now,
my body and my mind

is just like, "Yeah, just
another day at the office."

♪ ♪

Man.

This is my life now.

♪ ♪

I get water,
and then I do nothing.

♪ ♪

I think I'm on
a sustainable path,

but at night, you can
really feel the hunger pangs.

[burps]

♪ ♪

- It's just cold today,

and I am having trouble
staying warm,

but I have decided
that I'm back in the game.

I am not thinking
about tapping out.

♪ ♪

I have recommitted myself.

I hope to have
these skis done tomorrow.

Gonna go tracking,
see what I can find.

So glad I came to my senses.

You know, I wanna stay
out here and rough it.

[laughs]

That's what I came here to do.

[chuckles]

♪ ♪

- Oh, my back.
I'm like an old man.

Too much standing up,
too much blah, blah, blah.

♪ ♪

Oh.

Going out.

I'm being sloppy.

♪ ♪

I can't let that go out

because I worked
so hard for it.

[blowing]

It's freezing, and trying to
sustain a fire all the time,

all that effort
has been quite a drain.

Ehh. Wow.

That was
so freaking close, man.

♪ ♪

I need to focus.

♪ ♪

- [sighs]

Oh, um--

Yeah, I'm tired.
I'm tired today.

I may--may make some tea
and go back to bed.

And that's OK.
It's OK.

Got time.

♪ ♪

- Definitely reached
the part of my journey

when I'm just, like,
a little bit

ooh, hoo, hoo.
[chuckles]

Cuckoo.

[chuckles]

I don't really give
a [bleep] about anything.

[laughs]

Cuckoo.
Cuckoo.

♪ ♪

[bleep], I'm going crazy.

♪ ♪

- So I didn't get much done
on the skis.

That takes energy.

I think I'm gonna take
today moment by moment.

♪ ♪

Yeah.

♪ ♪

- I'm prepared
for full starvation, so...

♪ ♪

I still feel that there's
a long time to go.

♪ ♪

I'm afraid that my body
will deteriorate

without vitamins and minerals.

♪ ♪

- Oh, ow, ow, ow.

Every joint in my body hurts.

♪ ♪

Oh, been tossing
and turning all night.

♪ ♪

There's just not enough fat

on my body
to cushion the joints.

♪ ♪

I'm not down
for the count yet.

I'll feel better.

♪ ♪

- What--why am I
even recording?

It's, like...

♪ ♪


Just go to bed.

♪ ♪

What am I doing with my life?

♪ ♪

- No, it's not nighttime yet,

but I'm in my shelter.

♪ ♪

Having trouble staying warm,

and mostly because
I'm just not very active today.

Today's been
kind of a down day.

♪ ♪

[fire crackling]

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- Oh, there's a mouse there.

Oh, guacamole.

[bleep], that's funny.

♪ ♪

I am lower in weight,
and I haven't been eating,

so I'm sure
my blood pressure is low.

♪ ♪

This has been an ordeal,
but at the same time,

it's such a blur, man,
such a blur.

♪ ♪

So I'm kind of thinking
that I should go for a walk

because I haven't had a walk
for a long time.

♪ ♪

After that, I think I'm gonna
be mentally much better.

I really wanna
walk over the ice.

I waited so long
for this moment.

♪ ♪

And ever since day zero,
I wanted to go on the ice.

It's just like
a mental liberation of, like,

now that there's ice, I feel
that I have legs again

because when you have ice,
walking is so easy.

♪ ♪

This is the neat thing
about having an ice chisel

like this, is can go walk.

And then you just...

push like that, and if the ice

was thin, very thin,

just the likelihood

that you would feel something.

This is a natural way to be

in the wilderness on the ice.

♪ ♪

I'm so emotional lately.

It's probably
so many things...

♪ ♪

Starving...

being without people.

♪ ♪

I just keep thinking,

"I'm so thankful
for Jennifer."

♪ ♪

Being in survival mode
amplifies

the need for family
and friends

and the importance of that.

♪ ♪

I think I'm gonna propose
after I get back.

I think it's time.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[tense music]

♪ ♪

- Whew.

[chuckles]

It is a blanket of snow.

Oh, my gosh.

Whoa.

Crazy.

And it's blistery cold.

♪ ♪

Wow.

Which is awesome.

Look, there's a cornice.

Wow, it was windy.

♪ ♪

And...

My spirits are good.

My body's tired.

I didn't sleep half the night.

I was feeling queasy.

I'm actually feeling
lightheaded right now.

I can go look
for animal tracks.

It take so much energy,

and my quads
don't really wanna do much.

Oh, I just
all of a sudden wanna cry.

[sighs]

I don't know where that
came up all of a sudden.

[sighs]

♪ ♪

Guess I'll just be
with it for a moment.

♪ ♪

[exhales]

♪ ♪

[sniffles, crying]

♪ ♪

Sorry.
Here I go again.

♪ ♪

I'll be right back.

♪ ♪

So I set out...

To do my dream.

And it took me
a lot to get here.

♪ ♪

I mean, years, years.

But my dream isn't all
about to be on the show.

My dream is
a lot deeper than that,

and I wanted it
to come to fruition

and have that completion
in my heart and completion

in my being to say,

"OK. It's OK.
I've done it.

And to--
[crying]

Gosh darn it.

♪ ♪

Maybe I'm done today.
[laughs]

No, I'm not done today.
I'm not.

♪ ♪

Anyway, I'm...

♪ ♪

I'm close.

And I'm still gonna stay here
for a little while.

♪ ♪

So, wow.

I was just gonna do
a quick morning check-in.

[laughs]
And I just spilled my guts out.

Whew, OK, I'm going to get
my fire going

and drink some tea.

Maybe I'll take a nap.

[chuckles]

Ohh.

I love it here.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- Oh, man.

Last night, I had a dream
where a friend of mine

gave me this bowl of fruit.

And lucidly woke up
for a moment like,

"No, no, no, go back
and enjoy that fruit.

"Just enjoy that.

Enjoy it.
It's OK."

Then I realized, like, "Wow,

I'm actually craving
healthy food."

[chuckles]

I just wanna nurture
my body back to health.

I mean, here's my bow.

And...

[grunts]

I can't really k*ll
anything like that.

I can't even pull it.

I can't even take an aim.

And so I can't
even get any food.

♪ ♪

[sighs]

♪ ♪

[exhales]

♪ ♪

It's just time
to take care of myself.

♪ ♪

[crying]

I'm going to.

♪ ♪

I know this is the right thing.

♪ ♪

OK, push it, Karie, push it.

It's so hard.

♪ ♪

[chuckles]
[phone beeping]

Hi, this is Karie Lee.

I am officially tapping out.

♪ ♪

[sighs]

♪ ♪

The last 2 and 1/2 months
has been pretty amazing,

and...

I'm gonna remember it
for the rest of my life.

♪ ♪

Ohh.

I'm just so blessed
by this land...

[hopeful music]

And the fish that fed me,

and the squirrels that fed me,
and the muskrat,

that was such a--such a gift.

[kisses]

♪ ♪

I can hear
the helicopter coming.

[helicopter whirring]

♪ ♪

Oh, my God, my heart's
just beating so fast.

[chuckles]

I get to go home.

♪ ♪

Hi.

I'm just done.

I know my body is done.

It's a hard decision to leave.

I did my dream here, and now,

I'm ready for the next dream.

It's time to step
into that elderhood

and just be there
for the people that need me,

my friends and my family.

♪ ♪

I wanted to have
this experience

of being
perfectly comfortable

in my shelter, warm,
with a plate of food.

So I asked myself,

"Is this fulfilling
my childhood dream?"

And the answer is yes.

But this experience, I feel,

has been a rite of passage.

I've been really resisting
this elderhood,

and now, I feel like
I'm ready to accept

the fact that I am an elder.

♪ ♪

And I feel I have a lot
to share.

I feel like I'm ready
to use my voice.

So I don't feel like I lost.

I may not be rich financially,
but I feel like

I'm coming home
with a lot of wisdom.

♪ ♪

- My body right now is asking
for a day of full recovery

of just sleep.

You don't even have
to go for water.

Get dehydrated for a bit.

It's fine.

So I think I'm gonna sleep
in a little bit right now.

[phone beeping]

[bleep]

Would be [bleep] the day
that I'm dehydrated, man.

[bleep]. Seriously.

[bleep], right
before the med check.

Well, my blood is gonna pump
pretty fast now.

[bleep] going down.

Medcheck in one hour.

OK, let's rumble.

[bleep], [bleep].

OK, hydrate.

♪ ♪

Ah.

This water is hard to drink.

♪ ♪

Gonna make a fire.

If I can warm water,
I can drink it fricking fast.

♪ ♪

I can get a fire going
in no time if I need to.

♪ ♪

Well, here's the chopper.

♪ ♪

I think I've downed how much?

Three liters?

♪ ♪

When you're walking
on this thin line,

you need to be fully engaged
for the experience.

♪ ♪

And if you're not, you're not
gonna match the struggle.

♪ ♪

This point is beautiful
because you're so present.

You don't even have
a concept of time.

♪ ♪

I can't let them pull me out.

- Juan Pablo,
how are you feeling

since the last time
we saw you?

- I'm so engaged
with the situation.

Like, these wintry scenes
are so...

They're so similar to where
I live with my partner.

I've started to feel
like home,

and with the ice,

I just walked
and I enjoyed the view

from a different perspective
that I hadn't had.

I just thought of my partner

and got a little bit emotional.

Just that I was waiting
so long...

To go on the ice.

Since that--since day zero,
I've had this plan of, like,

I'm gonna go on the ice...

and--

♪ ♪

- You won!

♪ ♪

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- How are you feeling since
the last time we saw you?

- I started to feel like home.

With the ice, I just walked
and enjoyed the view.

I just thought of my partner

and got a little bit emotional.

Just that since day zero,
I had this plan of like,

I'm gonna go on the ice...

and--

- [laughs]

♪ ♪

- It's just--
it's hitting me slowly.

- [laughs]
- Like--

- Yeah.
- Thank you.

- I'm so glad they brought you!
- I know!

- I look what?
- You look good.

[laughs]

- Thanks.

I'm so glad you're here.

♪ ♪

We can go see some polar bears.
- You saw a polar bear?

- I thought I saw one,
just like on our canoe trip.

- Oh, my gosh.
- Like, it was the same thing.

- Oh, no.
- Seriously.

- I can't believe you did this.

You're amazing.
- Thank you.

- And it's so beautiful here.

- Yeah, it is beautiful.

Do you wanna see my shelter?

- Yeah, yeah.
- Let's go.

- Oh, wow.

This is so nice.

[laughs]

- When you're isolated,
all this longing

for your family
and your friends

just intensifies so much.

It was hard to turn that off.

It's not super cozy.
- Yeah, it is.

- Well, spend, like, 70
something days in here,

and you'll see that
it's not that comfy.

♪ ♪

I just feel so happy
that Jennifer is here.

♪ ♪

- [laughs]

- Such an amazing day.

♪ ♪

I still cannot believe I won
half a million dollars.

♪ ♪

I am so excited.

We can fulfill our dreams.

It feels so liberating.

♪ ♪

Jennifer is
an amazing person.

She's everything to me.

I don't know
when I'm gonna propose to her,

but I need to plan something

that will
make her feel special.

This was my goal, right?
- Mm-hmm.

- Every day, I mark to here.

This was very important,
I think...

For my mind...

just to see the progress.
- Mm-hmm.

- I was prepared to just...

go for it, no matter what,
you know?

- Mm-hmm.

- I feel
that many people nowadays

need more resilience.

I take it as
a personal mission

to be resilient.

There was a lot of heart

that I put into this,
a lot of heart.

I'm just a survival nerd,
you know?

♪ ♪

My biggest takeaway
from this experience

is that your soul matters,

having a strong mission
in life matters,

and that your life experience
really matters.

♪ ♪

I can be proud of.

♪ ♪

I just feel like
I've achieved something

that I worked so hard
to achieve.

♪ ♪

It feels really good
to break barriers

and be the first Latino
to win "Alone".

♪ ♪

It's awesome
that it doesn't matter

where you come from, as long
as you are passionate enough.

You can be better
than anyone else

if you are obsessed like I am.

♪ ♪

It's not easy,
but it's possible.

♪ ♪