02x07 - E Pluribus KaBlam!

[bunniefuu]

Wake up the masses!

Assume the crash position!

Hold on tight!

Take a deep breath

For a new kind of cartoon show.

It's.....

Kablam!

Where cartoons and comics collide.

Now, to take you inside and turn the pages,

Here are your hosts henry and june.



And u.s. Department of education

Kabladies and kablentlemen,

Live from the lee majors pavillion,

It's kablam!'S th episode extravaganza.

Scheduled to appear--

Rosie o'donnell,

Vice president al gore,

Moesha,

And meredith baxter-birney.

With performances by riverdance,

Ken griffey junior,

And more.

And now, once again,

Your kablammie co-hosts henry and june.

Wow! Episodes.

How does it feel, henry?

Kablamtastic, june.

Not many television shows have had the stamina,

Excellence, or girth to make it to episode .

Why, it seems like only yesterday

That two wide-eyed kids came out on this stage and--

[Whispering]

[Softly] I thought you were counting.

Oh, yeah. It's always my fault, isn't it?

Something goes wrong, it's always henry, henry, henry.

Well, then, who's ready for fun?

Then hang on tight as we kick off

Kablam!'Sfantabulous--ahem!-- Th episode extravaganza.

Here's sniz and fondue.

Thanks, mr. Schnoffman!

Good-bye, mr. Sniz.

I know fondue's present will be your best work ever.

I plan for him to jones!

Oh, my gosh! I'm sorry.

I will curse you!

But since you already apologize,

I only curse clay.

h* h*-kay.

Ha ha!

♪ Nut job ♪

♪ Happy birthday, fondue ♪

Yes, you!

Now let the good times really rip,

♪ 'Cause snizzy's here too ♪

Open it, fondue. Open it!

I sculpted it myself!

Except the body. That's just a beanbag.

Oh, sniz, it's the greatest gift ever!

The greatest!

[Alarm clock ringing]

So, like I was saying,

It's cool if you want to play with my stuff in the middle of the night,

But weird.

Uh, just remember to put the merch back in its proper place.

Comprenderama?

You, sir, are cuckoo.

[Humming]

Whoa! Oh!

[Door opens]

Fondoody!

You missed such a picture.

Fonzer, you left your little pally on the stairs!

Somebody could trip on him.

Whoa! Back off with that!

Huh?

N-n-no offense, but there's something weird about that thing.

Pfft! What's weird is your total lack of gift appreciation.

Only store-bought gifts for you from now on!

Out with the trash!

No one's ever happy!

[Rustling]

[Fondue grunting]

Oh, fruit! No! Oh! Oh, my!

Who--who short-sheeted my bed?!

Aaaaaahhhhhhh!

Sniz? Sniz!

The doll...with the thing... And the moving...and the doll!

The doll you made is possessed!

Oh, please.

No, it's true! It's the sickest--

Great. Now we have dark!

I know it's against your genetic coding, but chill!

Besides, uncle snizzer happens to have...

[Fondue whimpering]

Safety flares!

Huh? What?

So...sorry, sport nut.

Huh? What's up? Wha--

Oooweeeeee!

Come on, baby, light...my...fire!

This your dolly, no?

I just passing by, found it in driveway.

Aah!

Really, actual, I come for to apologize.

Need control me temper.

I toss curse too much,

So this week, I try to cut down.

Now, where be is clay I curse for you?

Y-y-you're holding it.

So, like you ever went to art school,

Or you just born this much talents?

Well, ha ha ha! I never did attend any official--

Okey-dokey, no more curse.

Eeeee!

And now me out of here.

Fondue: aaaaaahhh!

Sniz: fondue!

My hat!

I can't find my hat!

It just disappeared!

[Echoing]

And we're back.

Pardon our attire,

But that last sniz and fondue

Really stressed us out.

And there's nothing like a good massage to take the edge off.

Little harder, ok, chief? I can take it.

You might want to take it easy, henroid.

How can I take it easy when I can't even feel the massage?

Come on, twinkletoes, harder.

I'll tell you when it hurts.

Ok. That hurts.

Now that henry's...relaxed,

Why don't we all enjoy the deep-tissue pleasure

Of action league now!?

Announcer: dateline, the milky way galaxy.

A mysterious vessel makes its way towards a familiar planet.

As the alien craft descends,

The action league expertly guides it to a pinpoint landing.

A little left. Good.

Now, right--aah!

Nice catch, melty.

I don't know, mates.

I don't care for aliens. They're foreign.

Can it, stinky.

The future of intergalactic peace is in our hands.

I want you on your best behavior.

People of earth, brothers, we come in peace.

Look out! He's going for his laser!

Stinky, no!

Aah!

Chief: so much for first impressions.

Announcer: action league now!

Starring the flesh...

He's superstrong

And supernaked;

Thundergirl...

She flies like thunder;

Stinky diver...

A former navy commando with an attitude as bad as his odor;

And meltman...

With the power to...melt.

Today's episode...

We find our heroes facing an intergalactic embarrassment

Thanks to the trigger finger of one stinky diver.

Stinky, isn't there something you wanted to say to the aliens?

Sorry.

Erase. Forget, brothers.

This historic event important.

We overlook the loss of zantac, our beloved leader.

Announcer: and so, redoubling their diplomatic efforts,

The league introduces their guests to the wonders of earth civilization.

Thundergirl: this is called a juicer.

Primitive. Juicer. What is?

You just push that carrot in, and it comes out juice.

Try it.

Aah!

Ooooo! I'm not drinking that.

Stinky diver: ok, brother,

This is where a lot of business is done on earth.

Primitive. Smelly.

Take picture.

Sure, whatever.

Step back, mate.

Further.

Little more.

Almost got it.

Aah!

Help!

Well, there goes my year-end bonus.

This is the greatest wonder of all, mr. Alien,

A sun reflector.

More cocoa butter, little fella?

Aahhhhh...

Whoopsies.

Say, any chance of you guys moving your ship

So I can get my legs back?

Chief: uh, sorry about that light socket, brother alien.

I should have warned you about our electrical system.

Apology not accepted.

Aliens, return to ship. Earthlings not brothers.

Earth enemy. Prepare to destroy.

What's up, chief?

Blast it! These aliens are as touchy as a polecat on a power saw!

Commence destruction sequence!

, , ...

Boy, they are moody.

Announcer: is this a close encounter of the last kind?

Can the action league defer a doomsday device?

Stay tuned for the action-annihilating conclusion of...

Hey, kablamoids, stay where you am.

There's cartoons to cram!

Still to come, prometheus and bob,

The off-beats,

And when we return, more action league now!

Right here on kablam!

Announcer: an alien delegation squeezed...

Sewered...

Sauteed.

As the league runs out of diplomatic solutions,

Time runs out on the entire planet.

Alien: , , ...

I don't want to say "I told you so,"

But I told you so!

Somebody shield me from the k*ller ray!

k*ller rays? Goody!

Destroy!

Game over, space scum! We win!

Yeah!take that, aliens!

Let's eat lunch!

Good work, flesh.

Your savage tan saved the entire planet.

We thank you. Earth thanks you.

I thank me.

I guess I owe you an apology, stinky.

No way, chief.

We showed those jokers what happens when you mess with earth.

Alien: lead commander to leader.

Commence hostilities. Destroy.

Announcer: the end.

You know, the action leaguers

Aren't the only action figure superstars on kablam!

Ta-da! Ta-da!

They just came in--

Our very own henry and june posable figurines.

Wow! Cool! Neat!

Henry, check it out.

Hi, kablamoids. I'm june.

Um...where's my string?

Hi-yah!

Karate-chopping power! Whoa!

Hey! I don't have that, either.

My doll's a dud.

Hmm.

Did you try squeezing it?

Oooooo!

[Snickering]

Don't say anything, june. I'm warning you.

Ha ha! Ha ha!

Ha ha! Ha ha!

Ha ha! Ha ha!

Announcer: what you are about to see is top-secret.

It is a videotape recorded , years ago

By an alien using a remote-controlled camera.

He chose his attempts to educate a caveman.

They have been code-named

The prometheus and bobtapes.

Tape , leverage.

Ok, bob, look. Rock.

Up, down.

Well, go on.

Uh-uh. Uh-uh. Uh-uh.

Go on.

Yeah. Yeah.

Put it down. Put it--hey.

Oh!

Ohh.

[Bob grunting]

Ok, ready, bob? Go ahead.

No, wait. Stop.

Away with you. Go. Shoo. Shoo!

Pffffft!

[Screeches]

Ok. Oww!

Bob: uh...huh?

Oh!

Uh-huh.

[Bob grunting]

Get this off of me!

Go on! Go!

Oh!

[Bob chuckling]

[Screeches]

Huh? Oh.

Aah! Ohh!

Bob: huh?

Ohh.

Huh? Oh.

Oh, no. No.

[Screeches]

Aah!

Uhh...

Oh! Oh! Oh!

[Prometheus humming]

Oh, hey!

[Shouting indistinctly]

Greetings to our kablam!audience.

By now, you probably realize

That kablam!is a global phenomenon.

With that in mind, we'd like to extend a hearty hello

To all our fans in the historic boot-shaped peninsula of italy.

Are you ready to translate, henry?

Ready when you are, june.

Hello, people of italy!

[Italian accent] hello, people of italy!

Welcome to our happy kablam!family.

Welcome to our happy kablam!family.

And now, please sit back and enjoy

The hilarious escapades of those lovable misfits the off-beats.

And now...

The off-beats.

Oh!

Hey, look. It's that loser repunzil.

You guys better not tease me.

Why?

I may have won a million bucks.

A million bucks?

You could buy a lot of cool stuff with that.

Grrrr!

Aaahhh!

Announcer: they never stay-- they never stay small,

And the populars don't like them at all.

But that's ok-- life is sweet.

They're cool...

Aah! Aah! Aah!

They're the off-beats.

Now that I'm gonna be rich,

I can buy anything I want.

You just got an entry form, repunzil.

You haven't won anything yet.

In fact, you might not win anything at all.

That's what youthink.

Well, I tried.

August?

My probability odometerizer puts the odds of you winning anything at...

Billion to one.

Who are you gonna believe, me or the odds?

[Elephant trumpets]

Tommy?

I'm only going to say this once, repunzil.

You're not gonna win!

I thought you guys were my friends.

[Cat meows]

If those guys don't think I'm gonna win a million bucks, then forget them.

Um, repunzil...

We were thinking maybe you should hang with us...

In case you win.

That's great!

I can't breathe.

Grrrrr! Aaaahhhh!

Let's roll.

She'd better win.

Hey, betty anne bongo,

We're repunzil's friends now.

So when she wins,

You'll get bubkes.

[Laughing]

Ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha...

Never mind.

Are you sure repunzil won't win the sweepstakes?

My probability odometerizer is never wrong.

[Sighs]

Repunzil's hanging with the populars.

What are the chances of that?

We have to get her back.

When's my yacht going to be delivered?

I've been waiting all afternoon.

Repunzil, you have to come back to us.

Oh, no, you don't.

She's ourfriend now.

The populars are using you to get stuff.

Nuh-uh!

These guys are no good.

Says who?

Says me!

I want to stay with the populars, betty anne.

They believe I'm gonna win.

We'll miss you.

Aaaahhhhh!

I hope the populars are at least being nice to repunzil.

That'll teach repunzil not to lose another sweepstakes.

Yeah!

Yeah!

Repunzil!

Repunzil!

I lost the sweepstakes.

Oh, repunzil.

Can I still hang out with you guys?

Of course.

Yay!

Look! Free shampoo.

Hey, if repunzil didn't win that sweepstakes,

You know what that means.

We could have won!

Hmm.

Junk.

Junk.

Junk.

Bill.

Hey, looky here.

What's that?

Can't you read?

Swak, june-- sealed with a kiss.

It's a hot letter.

Sssssss!

From a female admirer.

Oh, cut me an oversized wedge.

"Dear henry,

"You are the handsomest boy on tv.

G.t.t.'S got nothing on you."

Uhhh!

"I love you so much."

Nyah!

"Signed, your biggest fan, mo--"

Ok.

Um, who's it from?

Uh...i...

I can't read the signature.

Nooooooo!

[Gasp]

We are out of time!

Your mommy?! Ha ha ha ha!

Announcer: join us again next time,

Same kablam!time, same kablam!network.