02x11 - Hand Cranked For Your Enjoyment

[bunniefuu]

Wake up the masses!

Assume the crash position.

Hold on tight!

Take a deep breath...

For a new kind of cartoon show.

Wicket! Wicket! Wicket!

Iiiiit's...

Kablam!

Where cartoons and comics collide.

Now to take you inside and turn the pages,

Here are your hosts, henry and june.





Hey there, kablamacrats.

Welcome to--

[Louder] welcome to--

[Loud voices]

It's the new comic strip that moved in upstairs.

Herman the horrible.

Horrible is right.

Ever read that strip?

A bunch of vikings sitting around picking their noses.

I'll take care of this.

Pipe down you nimrods!

Step aside, little lady.

Let a man handle this.

Ooh! Muymacho!

Who is the knocker?

Hey, neighbor. Love the comic, man.

Some funny, funny stuff.

Say, I was just wondering,

How come you young, good-looking norsemen

Aren't out pillaging the countryside?

Yeah! Right!

Men! Pillage!

[Men screaming]

[Whistling]

[Crash]

Hmm. You know, folks,

My co-host is, um...

How do I put this delicately?

Stupider than sniz and fondue combined.

Watch this and see if you agree.

[Birds chirping]

Pal of me-oh-mine,

How about letting me wear the crazy cap for today?

No!

As decreed by the ancients,

The hat shall not leaveth the noggin of the chosen one.

I have spoken!

Ohh, come on!

Nope.

Welly, well, well then.

In that case, I'm gonna slam myself

To the floor repeatedly until you loan me the hat.

Uh!

Ooh!

[Falls again]

Ooh!

[Falls again]

Ooh! Ow, feels pain.

[Falls again]

Ooh! That surely neurological damage there.

[Falls again]

Ooh!

[Falls again]

Ooh!

[Siren]

Oh, my poor snizzy.

Tell you what...

When you get out of the hospital,

I-i'm gonna loan you my hat...

For whole hours!

Whoo!

Uh!

Ooh! Lookin' good.

Dan, boy...

You got it goin' on!

[Giggling]

Just for you, mr. Gq.

Handsome boy, fortune--no charge.

You have fantastic life.

All shappies for the price of one!

And, of course, currency eludes me.

You! You have the look that deluxe cinemas

Wants to see in more of its patrons.

Captain: skimbore, I find the atmosphere

On this planet wonderfully intoxicating.

You said it, captain!

Oh, fruits!

He's probably half-way to ecuador by now!

He's only minutes late.

You are so naive!

Get over yourself. It's just a stupid hat.

You insensitive fool!

That hat is my essence!

Eek!

I'm naked!

Sportnot, I found this old box of hats from when I did theater.

Dig it, man!

Sweet!

Thanks!

Ohh!

All right, mister!

Help!

Oh, fondue, I didn't recognize you.

Your hours are so up, you little hat klepto!

Hey, come on!

That cap's working for me!

Of course, it is.

That's the awesome power of leblue chapeu.

Observe how it works on the head of the master.

[Whispering] simone, nasty freako directly behind.

S'happenin'?

Hat, return!

Get up!

[Crash]

Oh, no, I'll just stay here, thanks.

So he looks good in your hat.

Big snush!

You don't understand!

That hat was the source of all my powers!

And now he's stolen it and used it for his own selfish needs!

[Ding ding ding]

Powers? Oh, cut me a wedge!

Watch this!

For you, free ice cream!

Oh, wait.

I'm forgetting the rainbow sprinklies.

Whee!

There! You see?

I-i-it's not the hat.

It's sniz!

Hey, uh, snizzy?

Yes, sir?

You can wear the hat some more... As much as you want.

Ah, no thanks.

I need a new look any-hoo!

Now don't you feel like a big, whiny baby?

All that fuss over a little headwear!

Sheesh!

Well, i...

♪ Goin' downtown ♪

♪ And my baby's gonna be all right ♪

Ah!

W-w-w-w-w-w-w-w...

[Higher voice] I just love my new look!

[Cat call whistle]

Thanks!

[Giggling]

Sniz and fondue, ladies and gentlemen.

Pure chewing satisfaction.

[Rattling]

Look, henry, a package from herman.

He must be apologizing for pillaging our set.

All right!

Nord-a-terrific!

No way! I'm not getting the hat head.

Good! You got the helmets!

[Woof woof woof]

While lars helps me rouse henry,

Check out some other head-injured heroes.

It's action league now!

Announcer: dateline. Bill the lab guy's laboratory,

Where a beleaguered action-leaguer turns

To a trusted friend for help.

Bill, can we talk for a minute?

No. Go away.

You know what myproblem is, bill?

I'm a joke. All I can do is melt.

Big whoop!

Is there any way you can give me some real powers?

There's nothing I can do.

I'm too busy working on a secret formula

That makes people really big.

Really big, huh?

♪ Loving you ♪

♪ Is easy 'cause you're beautiful ♪

♪ Doo doo doo doo doo ♪

♪ I'm so in love with you ♪

[Burp]

Mmm! Minty!

No! I was afraid of this.

Whoa!

Hey, look at me!

I'm mega-melty!

Meltman, that formula's not ready.

It still needs to be tested.

Test schmest!

I'm livin' large now, baby!

Ya-hoo!

Ouch! Ow!

Ooh!

Sorry.

Hurts. Ow. Medic.

Starring...

He's super strong and super naked.

She flies like thunder.

A former navy commando

With an attitude as bad as his odor.

And...

With the power to...

Melt!

Today's episode...

We find our heroes under a bed,

In the midst of a top-secret action briefing.

Ok, you guys, listen up.

The president's in town next week.

Thundergirl, I'm gonna need your super flying power.

Flesh, your super strength.

Stinky, your super-sharp sh**ting.

As for meltman...

Uh...

Um...

Well, uh...

He can get the donuts.

[All] donuts! Donuts!

Donuts! Ha ha ha!

Meltman: think again, pipsqueaks.

Gollars, melty. You look different.

Did you get a haircut?

No, you moron!

He obviously drank bill's secret formula!

Meltman, you're suspended!

Au contraire,chiefster!

[Gasps]

You're suspended...

All of you are...

In the air.

Hey! What are you doing?

Aah!

Not having fun!let me go! Put me down!

[Fax machine rings]

Action facts!

It must be for mega-meltman!

Put us down you freak!

Oh! Oh!oh!

"Trouble at backyard state park.

Birthday party. Kids in danger."

To the action mobile!

[All] action league away!

I've got frontsies!

Oh!

Ooh, my back! Ouchies!

Man, this car has zero leg room.

Meltman, you idiot!

We were those kids' only hope!

Don't worry, chief.

I'll go solo on this one.

Mega-meltman away!

Aah!

Ouchies again.

Announcer: and so... As a mammoth melted meathead

Makes his way...

Hey, wait!

Darn!

Ah, crud!

Terrified tikes hang on for dear life.

[Together] help! Help! We're stuck!

Announcer: can an inflated imbecile head off

An inflated imbroglio?

[Whistling]

Stay tuned for the action engorged conclusion of...

Announcer: meltman enlarged!

Kids ensnared!

The league...ensmashed!

As time runs out on a pair of petrified pre-adolescents,

A big bozo races to the rescue.

Sorry, pal, I don't have any cash and no pockets.

Never fear, young citizens!

Mega-meltman is here!

All right! It's meltman, and he's big!

We're saved!

[Together] hooray!

I'm mega-meltman!

With the power to--

Ow!

We're toast.

Don't worry, young americans. I'm--

Ow!

Coming!

With my incredible supersize, I'll--

Uh! Uh!

Just missed.

Hang on!

Don't quit your day job.

Mega-meltman! With the power to climb on a bench.

Here you go, leaders of tomorrow.

Now, run along and play without fear.

[Together] thanks, meltman!

That's mega-meltman.

[Together] yeah, whatever.

All right, melty!

Hooray for you!

Bully!

Good work...

Mega-meltman!

Thanks, chief.

Now maybe we should discuss my mega-salary increase.

And how about a mega-apology from the rest of you guys?

Meltman, wait. There's something I have to tell you.

Save it, bill. I'm on a roll.

Hey! What the--

Aah!

I was just going to say that the effect of the drug is temporary.

Well, at least melty got his raise!

Boy, I'm sure gonna miss him!

Me, too. Who's gonna get us donuts?

[All laughing]

The end.

Wow! That action leaguewas--

[Train whistle]

That's it! I'm stopping this insanity!

[Loud voices]

What's that?

It's the same super growth potion

That meltman just used.

It's time to kick some viking hiney

And take some viking names.

You can see it coming, can't you, folks?

Pillage!

Pillage!

Aah!

Aah!

Think about it, kablamers.

Without henry, this show wouldn't be--

Aah!

Half as entertaining.

Here now, prometheus and bob.

Announcer: what you are about to see is top-secret.

It is a videotape recorded , years ago

By an alien using a remote-controlled camera.

It shows his attempts to educate a caveman.

They have been code-named: the prometheus and bob tapes.

Tape number .

[High-pitched voice] hey!

Huh?

Give me that.

Well, watch.

[Muttering]

Watch.

[Groaning]

There.

See?

Yeah.

Ah!

Mmm.

Mmm!

Ah!

[Muttering]

Oh!

Ah!

Ah.

Oh!

Uh.

Oh.

Eh...

[Muttering]

Mmm?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Now, go, now.

[Screeching]

Huh?

Oh!

Ohh.

Hey! Hey! Hey there now!

[Muttering]

Hey! Oh!

Oh, all right.

[Muttering]

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

[Bob laughing]

Stop! Where are you going?

[Bob laughing]

[Muttering]

Hey, hey, hey, hey! Look out now!

Aah!

Ha ha ha!

Ok.

[Muttering]

No!

Hey!

[Muttering]

Ah! Ooh! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

[Muttering]

Oh. Ouch!

Ah!

[Screeching]

What?

Aah!

[Sigh]

Hmm.

Ah!

[Muttering]

Oh. Oh.

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha!

Ha ha ha! Hey!

Ow!

Ha ha ha!

[Laughing]

What are they doing here?

I invited them down.

Hey, they brought snacks.

You invited them here?

But they beat me like a speeding ticket.

Mmm! Humus.

Don't worry, henry.

Once they get a load of our next cartoon,

They'll be so in touch with their feelings,

They won't hurt a flea.

Yeah! Who's bad?

[Cheering]

This is not going to end well.

Psst!

Wanna see what I'm thinking?

There's all kinds of stuff in the head of the girl.

I'm the girl with her head coming off.

How come if you like a person

It's easy to make friends?

But if you really like them,

It gets so hard.

I wish it could just be simple,

Like with my sister jill and her new best friend charlie.

His name's cousin charlie.

There's no way he's ourcousin.

And we have a new hobby.

Ants. Ants.

Look! This citizen ant has died.

Now its fellow citizens

Will work together to bring the body to the burial parlor.

Amazing, eh?

But isn't it kind of sad?

Jill, there's no sadness in the world of bugs.

And in the world of me?

All through math today I was thinking about my biggest crush ever.

Elvin.

And then, just when I turned to look outside,

It was perfect timing for him to go by.

Look here, look here.

Alice, look here.

And he would have looked, too,

If it wasn't for mr. Poo!

[Kids laughing]

And as if that wasn't t*rture enough,

When it was finally time to go home,

I almost fell over him on the steps.

He was sitting with...

Sadona hayes...

Of course. Why wouldn't he be with her?

They are both...

The ultimate...

[Motor humming]

Nice motorcycle.

Cool.

Nice hat.

Cool.

It was almost, like, too much,

Like they're being together

Made a black hole of coolness.

Elvin?

I think you're sitting on my hair.

Cool.

When I got home,

The ants had escaped.

No stepping on the floor!

Where the dickens is that bug spray?

Mom could tell I was too upset to help.

I kept thinking about how they say,

"If you got it, flaunt it."

But what if you don't?

Why do humans have to be so different?

Why can't we be more like...

The ants?

Citizen alice?

This stinking hunk of food

Will be most fine for the dawn of perfection ritual.

Yes. We must transport it to the home of all others.

Allow me to help, fellow citizens.

We all must be equal in our perfect bug society.

However, there seems to be something more equal...

About you.

Yeah?

Brother! Sister!

I can't hold this by myself!

Mom decided to bug b*mb the house.

[Choking and coughing]

Alice, please, take them for ice cream.

Cousins, I'm thinking of a number between and .

?

That's it!

[Rattling]

Hey, alice! Isn't that your friend,

That elvin guy?

Wild!

He's so loud.

And so...

So...

Good catch.

What are you doing?

Well...you know how after a wedding

They tie all those cans and junk to the car

So it makes that really cool noise?

It's kind of like that.

I bet if you put some pennies

Or--or little rocks in,

You could really make a racket.

Thanks.

Hey, dorko!

We don't have all day!

I guess I better go.

Yeah. See you around...

Dorko.

♪ Dorko ♪

After that, I just had to run.

It was hard to figure out

If I had scored coolness points

Or if elvin had lost them,

But who could care?

And the next thing I knew,

I was in a hopping race with jill and charlie,

And you know, I didn't even mind calling him cousin.

That's done.

Now I can put my head back on.

Grr!grr!

Who is responsible for showing us this cartroon?

It was june's idea. I swear.

I told her!

Run for your lives!

You are the shower of this cartroon

Filled with such sensitivityness?

[Gulp]

Um...i thought you would like the c-ca-cuhtroon.

Like it?

I loved it!

It was the most beautiful cartroon ever!

Now, give herman a hug.

[Sighs]

The feelings,

The emotion,

The love!

It makes us want to...

Pillage!

Pillage!

Well, I guess when you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

So we'll see you next time, kablam-chops.

Pillage!

Pillage!pillage!

[Tarzan yell]

Join us again next time.

Same kablam!time, same kablam!network!